Episode 23: Tunnel / Atomic Bomb / The Bank

Welcome to the Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller podcast. I'm your host Mike White. Joining me, of course, is the rookie mister Chris Dashoe. I know I might be pedantic and some people may not like me, but I do what I can. That's very true.

I've gotten comments like that on iTunes. You two are pedantic. God Man, Steve Landisburg just every time we do this show, his stock is rising every time. Might even say ron carry stock is rising a little bit, a little, not a lot. It's like a penny stock.

On this episode, we're talking about three of the original episodes of Barney Miller. We're on season four and we're talking about the episodes Tunnel which was released December first, nineteen seventy seven, Atomic Bomb from December fifteenth, nineteen seventy seven, and The Bank from January fifth, nineteen seventy eight. Breaking into nineteen seventy eight. With this one, there we are, Happy New Year, everybody. This woman wants to fuck Steve Landisburg.

Big surprise, right, I think you just pretty much admitted to it too. Sex icon Steve Landisburg. I mean he's a good looking guy. Yeah. Most of the people on the show are good looking aside from Ron Carey, James Gregory's even got a little daddy vibes, you know, a little bit.

I mean, I mean Luger's character, I guess is gay, might be gay. Maybe he definitely gets taught a lesson in one of these episodes. Yeah, boy doesn't he? Boy, he doesn't he? But not the one we're about to talk about.

No, I don't think that he shows up in the first two, which is a shame. It's not he does not no, but just credit only well in the tunnel, believe it or not, But there's a tunnel involved. There's also a outage of the phones. There's also some spiritual debate going on because there's a horse in the paper called pick me Nick, and Nick takes that as a sign from God that he needs to get this horse. But oh, he's being interrupted from Colin's bookie by Barney coming in and that's what delays us learning that the phones have been out for forty five minutes or so.

And then there's also the b plot of He's kind of like a subtle dig and Welcome back Cotter with the Jay Gerber playing the teacher who's at his witch end and then the hilarious Leonard Stone, who everybody knows I guess as m Violet Beauregard's father from Yeah, I was gonna say rucassault, but that's a that's no, that's a similar character actor wise, just as recognizable. But yeah, he's great in this. I hadn't seen him like anything else other than Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Yeah, he is awesome in this, and I love that he's just as crazy, if not crazier than the teacher who's gone that kind of playing the same character too. Yeah, he kind of is.

They're both basically cut from the same cloth. He's great, he's really funny. They give him a lot of time for somebody who shows up in the last third of the episode. I mean they give him. They give him a fair amount of screen time too, which is nice.

I mean, obviously, again they make a lot of welcome back Cotter jabs, you know, I hate that show. And then he's singing the theme song. He's saying, you know what if you know, if he were in my school district, he would be hung upside down, you know, stuff like that, you know, saying, how like that show isn't real because I'm living that real life of a high school teacher in New York. It fits funny. I mean, it's not that hasn't aged well or anything.

It's like it's topical. Oh yeah, for nineteen seventy seven, that's right on point. Twenty twenty two not so much. But hey, if you know what welcome Back Catter is, the joke still lands. When he first made the reference, I was like, is that a Welcome Back Carter joke?

And then he removed all doubt when he started singing the song. And look, they were both shooting on the same lot at the same time. We've all seen the picture of the Welcome Back Catter kids in the twelve Precinct jail cell as well. So yeah, I was kind of hoping that the Sweathhags would show up in this one. I honestly would love to have seen the two shows crossover because it makes perfect sense, right, like if the shows were being made now in twenty twenty two, like they wouldn't miss that opportunity.

Network television now is like how can we tie these things together to get crossover appeal? Right, like on a special episode of Barney Miller, Like there's that Chicago Medical, Chicago Police in Chicago Fire like all three and one. It's like, okay, guys, and then all those NCISS and laws and orders and all that. It's like, we're gonna think about stuff like Sabrina and Riverdale stuff like that. I mean, it's like that's Network TV and Netflix like those are you know what I mean, Like they make figured out how to make it work.

Like in this day and age, a show like that and a you know, a show like Welcome Back Hotter and show like Barney Miller would have had a crossover episode. It's like inevitable. It's just inevitable because so many other shows, like you've mentioned, have had crossover episodes. Think of The X Files. Didn't the X Files crossover with the Simpsons for fox sake?

That's a technical, actual crossover. Technically they're playing the same characters. They're playing Molder and Scully. I mean, just think about that. And they made that work in the nineties, like come on the same studio, different production companies.

But even though the Welcome Back Hotter kids aren't in here, which I think would have been funny because here's this was the one opportunity, right, I still think the episodes funny. I think the Wojo's stuff is a little bit underserved, though strangely given that it's the title of the episode. It's bad too because Wojo actually seems to be really into it when the episode opens. His conversation when Nick is very interesting, and I just like that. It feels like Max Scale is really in his own at the beginning of this episode.

And then yeah, he leaves, and then he's really not supposed to come back, and then when he does, he's a little messed up. Let's say, whoopie yeah, because he's had a near death experience. Now he's starting to have all these like spiritual doubts. This is not where he is talking about how broke he is now that he's on the sergeant's salary. I think that's another one that will discuss.

But I like how present Max Scale was at the beginning of this and watching him clean his gun and kind of bust Nick's chops a little bit. I liked it. I feel like we've kind of missed out on his character recently. He hasn't been as around. I don't know why that would have been maybe just letting the other actors who are now on the show giving them a little bit more screen time, not diverting as much attention away because I mean, you keep him away for stuff and you give them a bigger present.

So maybe that's what it was. But I'm I like where they're going with his character. It's a far cry from the first season of the show. Yeah, he doesn't seem to be playing the in his words, dumb pull lot character. Right.

We definitely see a lot of the teacher and the principle, but we're not really seeing JJ Barry as the thief who is the one that's tunneling into the what is it the jewelry store that sends Wojoe and Leavitt on their way. Honestly, I was expecting if ron Kerry wasn't in the show, it could have been his character from before, right, Yeah, exactly in the mall the moment, right, Yeah, great character, old man strikes again, but great character actor J. J. Barry. That plotline just felt really underserved.

I don't know. I like the Welcome Back Cotter character arc thing that they had going on, but I think for the actual like Robbers stuff, I don't know they when Max Gale comes back and they're talking about, like you know, like Landisburg keeps interrupting him and stuff. It's weird because it's like it's funny, but it's strange. It's a strange way of writing that character because they're supposed to make us like we're we are supposed to like that character of Landisburg, and he he goes a little far in that scene where it's like interrupting Maxcales like who's been dead? Essentially?

Was this the episode where Landisburg and Glass had been out on the steak out? Isn't that what opens the episode? The two of them walk or he walks in slow after him. This is where Harris first is like I'm not going to stay with that guy. I mean ends up paying off two episodes down the line.

But yeah, this is the first appearance of Harris is homeless, though he was searching for an apartment in one of the previous episodes we talked about. So it's kind of neat that we've got a little carry over going on here. It's been kind of a minor arc of this season. I mean, it's not something that they've like put a lot of time into, but it's come up in a lot of conversations at least, and it's definitely been Harris is kind of driving force, at least for the first I guess we're almost at the halfway point of the season, right, so first half of the season. Well, let's move on to Atomic Bomb, which I was surprised that Fish doesn't come back in this episode and save us all from the bomb that's hanging out on Nick's desk.

Where is Fish? I'm glad we should get to see John Gets. So I was like trying to place who he was. I was like, John Gets that John Gets. Oh yeah, it's John Gets, a very young John Gets.

What do you know? John Gets? From What's Your? What's Your? John Gets Pull of the Day.

I kept thinking that he was Peter McNichol. Is that who I'm thinking of? Remember the guy from Ghostbusters? Yes, yes, we wait, the World of Egle that guy. Oh?

Actually, well, what I'm doing is I'm mixing up John Gets with the guy that actually created the bomb. Oh oh yes, yes, yes, John Gets, as in the FBI guy right right, Okay, so I was mixing him up with James there. I was mixing John Gets up with Will Seltzer. I guess because we have two people that have a E. T Z type of combination in there.

Oh Jesus, John gets for me as Zodiac and the fly John gets for me is the Fly and Blood. Simple. What a great character. I mean, like kind of an ikey character, but great performance from from John Gets. He's good here, right, He's not given much to do and then just kind of be a pain in Barney's ass.

It's like it's really clicking into place seeing him as an older person, because it took me a minute yesterday where I was like, oh, yeah, he was in The Fly, okay, and then I looked at the name and I was like, yeah, all right, I know that character and that it's Finally today I'm like, oh shit, he looks totally different from one to the other. He also reminded me of a very pompous Martin mull in The Fly. Oh yeah, what a what a welcome addition to that movie. But what a what a what a grizzly what a not demise I guess, But boy, if you've never seen The Fly, you don't know what happens to his character. He gets wrecked pretty nasty.

None of that in this though, but some but some science shenanigans here. This is bright. There's like a story. This is like a real story, right, like a kid actually did this in the seventies or something. You would get that in movies coming up.

I mean, this was end of seventy seven, the very end of seventy seven, and you're gonna get like, you know, Matthew Broadwick putting the world in peril, all of these you know science young scientists who don't know what they're doing with their power. This was in the vein of that where it's like he built an actual box. It's like, you can't build a functional bomb without the fissionable material, thank god. And with that, I mean you really should probably go out to your local Twin Pines mall and wait for the Lebanese to show up with their fissionable or sorry, Libyans to show up with their fissionable material. Because they would show up with Richard with the kiddy.

They'd be like, we're here with the kidby Richard'd be like, here to buy all of it. But I guess my question is they take it, and they take it and they put it in the Indiana Jones bunker from the first movie, and they say, you know, we're taking this top secret classified we have, Yeah, exactly does the kid get an a here's your note from the FBI saying we took your atomic bomb away. I would hope he gets an automatic. Hey. Yeah.

My favorite part of that whole thing is Carl Bruck as doctor Reinhold Bauer, who obviously is a former Nazi scientist. Right, operation like Barney Miller makes an operation paper clip, Joe, that's all think in this episode. It's great. That was fantastic. I love how he was just like, can you imagine if we had come up with that first?

And then seltzers like we did? We did? Oh right, we did? Now we did now? Right?

Oh, that was fantastic. That was the funniest bit in the entire episode. Back and the thumbnail on IMDb does the scene justice. But getting to see jack Su with his sunglasses on staring at that bomb is so groovy. And while Jackson was a man with some real style, some real style.

Also, I like when mister Swanson shows up the Good Humor bands here. Oh my god, that was so good. Oh my god. So strange that we have two episodes in row, this one and the next one. More they're talking about frozen things that must have been in the air at the same time as well.

So, yeah, the Metropolitan New York Cryonic Society. Yeah, and mister Phil Leeds wanted to get frozen, right, he wants to get frozen. His wife is very concerned about that. It's kind of we've seen similar storylines to this. But man, what a face on this guy.

He's shown up. Holy shit, he's shown up two other times before and he's going to show up after this four more time. That face in this show. So man, Yeah, Phil leads just like he kind of like an old don Knots, but he's got a good look. He's got a great voice.

Just like a harried man about town. That's what he looks like. A harried man like oh like just a man who's constantly in a rush. That's what he looks like. And you can tell when his characters on screen that he's always beaten down just of his look.

He always just looks beaten down. This show is making me want to go back or you watch History of the World Part one so bad because Eleno, it's such a good movie. JJ Barry, who we just talked about the tunnel robber in the last episode. Phil leads in this episode he's in there. I mean, there's so many great faces that are all in History of the World Part one, and we're always talking about the great faces that are on here.

Ron Carey's in History the World Part one as like a main character in one of the u in one of the segments. He's in the Roman segment with Gregory Hines. He's great. That movie's great. That movie's really fun.

Jews in Space, that's a great little thing at the end, the Spanish Inquisition stuff's great. Torquamata can't Torquemata anything. Oh, it's a great movie. That's a great movie. And I'm trying to remember what's going on.

There's definitely more apartment talk in this one. Yeah, it feels like everybody else is on the like it's Barney and then John gets seems to be kind of the focus of this episode. Phi Leads has given a lot more time than you would think as the B plot, because it's almost like neck and neck with the A plot in a lot of ways. It's there. It's given a lot of time because they bring in they have they then they bring in the guy who the mister Swanson character too, because that's it.

It's only the bomb and the frozen guy. That's it. That's it. There's nothing else. And mister Swanson and one of the FBI guys are going back and forth about like science stuff.

Yeah, it's like one makes weapons, the other one's trying to preserve life, and they see each other as quacks and will life be able to exist in the future, will it won't even exist now? Possibly? Yeah, they're very heavy moment on. Barney Miller still dealing with that now. So here's looking at you Eastern European conflicts.

Geeze, everybody calm down. You as a Ukrainian, as a child of a Ukrainian immigrant, I take offense to everything that's going on right now. But yeah, no, it's I think it's a fun episode. I mean the atomic bomb stuff. Again, this is based off of a story that's happened, I know, I mean, I don't remember the exactly, but it is based off of kind of like a kid built an atomic reactor in his garage, so they kind of take it the understandable television sitcom step further and it's an atomic bomb as opposed to a reactor.

So but it really generates power. It's lighting this room right now. I liked this episode. This is a fun one. A lot of good character actors in it too.

Well. Speaking of character actors, I was very happy to see John Lamata in the next episode, the nephew of Jake Lamata and one of the people that I mostly know from ALF in the few times I ever watched ALF. Hey, Willie, can I eat some kids? That's a fucking weird ass show man cat a cat eating alien, That's what it is? Right, But his name is Gordon Shumway because he's from Melmac.

Sure, boy, let's get into ALF floor real quick. When I saw that last, right, yeah, Brope Richard in for that one. I when I saw the last name Lamada, I had to look up if that's who that was, and it is obviously, but that I was like, that guy kind of doesn't look familiar, but kind of does, right, he looks similar to someone else much more famous. Is really what it is? Well?

And then Peter Jurassic, the guy that plays the man whose sperm is ruined in a sperm bank disaster. I think most people know him from what is it? Far Escape? I think he was in that also in Tron. Also in Tron to me, he looked a lot like U is a Victor Gardinia.

I think it's the guy that I'm thinking of. I have no idea. I just like Peter Jurassic's knows he's got like one of those great profiles. When you see him from the side, he's got like very like angular like it's like, man, you've got he's got a great profile. And like, man, if you've got a great profile, that's like half of the that's like half of it in Hollywood.

Man, if you just look interesting, put a camera on this person. Look at John LaMDA. Just an interesting looking guy. Yeah, And it was Vincent Gardinia. I was thinking of that's what he looks like in this episode, but usually not when I see him in other things.

Is this the one that opens with the hobo that they're all talking about how much he stinks? Or did we already did we already miss that opportunity to talk about the hobo smell? Gosh? I totally forgot about that character. I didn't think that he was a hobo.

I thought that he worked in sewage. Oh, is that what it was? I could be wrong. Was that last episode? I think that might have been the last episode, but I'm trying to remember how that plays into it because he comes in and he is warning them about something.

Oh, he's warning them about the kid's apartment. That weird stuff's going on in this kid's apartment. And he's the one that's building the bomb. Good memory. Oh yeah, how did we miss that?

Is that mister cell does them? Yes? Yes, it is the guy who plays Don Kunia and third Godfather. Maybe the guy could stabbed to death in the chair. Yeah, that's a good one.

That's the guy. But yeah, he smells bad. How did we miss that? Man? What?

I kind of that's a that's a cheap gig, that's why. Because it's a cheap gig. When I saw the bank, this is not what I thought the bank was going to be a bang. No, No, I thought it was going to be a sequel to the tunnel. It goes through the tunnel after it comes from the bank.

So no, we are talking about sperm banks in this and of course, very very funny thing to talk about sperm banks. I guess in that day and age ha ha ha sperm is your sperm melted? What? How hilarious? I guess, yeah?

And this is you know, probably I mean the way that Dietrich is explaining it. Towards the end of the episode, it's like they've never heard of, you know, in vitro fertilization or sort of ungodly creation of on the face of man, Like, oh, my god, in vitro what I was like, what the fuck? What are we getting all? What are we all getting so upset about? Here?

Oh, you're breaking the laws of nature? Seventy eight. It's seventy eight. Like that feels late, it does. Trying to remember when the first Test two baby was.

July twenty fifth, nineteen seventy eight. That's your birthday, Mike, Louise Joy Brown, the first baby to be conceived via in vitro fertilization. Holy shit, I know that's how your real birthday. Your real birthday is much closer to mine. No wonder it was such voodoo here because they hadn't done it yet.

Well, how were they talking about it in the show then? I think they were talking about it being theoretical Allegedly, your honor, we can allegedly in vat Okay, interesting, huh. I guess the climate at the time must have been like this, what a revolution for childless couples. Just think at some point blow their minds at seventy eight. Yeah, this this episode is really this episode is really strange in that context.

Now that I know that I should have looked that up. Man, it's even weirder now. They're just freezing it just because talking a little bit about motility, and I think the woman that runs the sperm bank is really into woe Joe find strapping man like you should come on down and make a deposit, But of course he has no idea. He thinks it's talking about a real bank. I think that's the biggest joke of the episode.

I thought the biggest joke of the episode was how hard Jody Man wanted Steve Landisburg's hot hot action. That had me cracking up. So that the gag is they say that, hey, what's going to happen is if you can't, you know, if you if you can't figure out how to get more sperm about of him, which obviously is the case, try to look for someone who looks similar in bodybuild and looks. And then of course the character played by Peter Jurassic, just Peter Jurassic just kind of looks like Steve Landisburg. They kind of Landisburg.

It up a little bit with the glasses and the jacket early hair. Yeah, but the whole gag is in that this woman is essentially making eyes at Landisburg for like a minute straight, and like she's essentially like, I'm almost suck this dick right here right now. You got Dietrich on one side and you got Phil Hammill on the other side, and are leaning right there in the middle and her just her head going side to side and just looking at Dietrich as this fine slice of man. Yeah, and he's like, we have to go, we have to get out of here. So funny.

Oh my god, what a great gag, what a great gang really and truly, like I think kind of inspired gag too, because like the episode feels like it's building to some kind of big punch line and that ends up being it, And the fact that it incorporates one of the characters of the show and kind of such a funny way I think really works. And I think I don't know when this show hits, it really hits, and these three episodes I think have done a pretty good job of like firing on all cylinders and look even at what happens at the end. Harris goes, I'll come to your apartment. I'll stay with you Landisburg. We'll see on the next episode.

Is that a mistake? Is that a mistake? Ladies and gentleman The answer feels like it's probably gonna be yes. One. This is the one.

Luger is back in this episode. It's Lugar. Let's talk about that. Oh boy, god, oh my god, you people, ladies and gentlemen. We gotta you people out of Luger.

You gonna shuffle on down there. Oh oh man, I don't shuffle you people always getting I forget, he says, you people always getting something, and then it's like Ron Glass Ladies and gentlemen just launches into a tirade and tears James, poor little James Gregory of bars so needed though so appropriate, I thought he does that. I mean, I remember when we first saw Luger and he was just hey, Nick, what do you people? Do you know? And like just all that, all these people with the Polish persuasion and all that kind of stuff.

It's like Jesus Christ always making a crack about somebody's denomination, always always, and again I don't know if they were like again, it's not like he was like, hey, you end or something like that. It was always like very metered, but it was not great. I'm glad that somebody took him a task for it too, And Inspector Lugar actually kind of apologizes, which I was glad for. Harris was like, oh, I was on edge, you know, trying to find this apartment and everything. But you know, I don't think that he really backs down.

Yeah, I thought it was good. And James Gregory gets a little kicking the dick, which he deserved, totally deserved. But at the end I kind of like him better for it because he took his lumps, you know, he realized that he was Roy I'm not a bad man, Bunny, I'm not a bad man like and then he talks about how he's going to shuffle off right. Yeah, these SJWs with their political correct speech, they're trying to cancel and spectrum Luger. Jeez, so woke.

This show is way too woke. I mean, they allow gay people to be on screen, preferred to women as broads like that in Colshack. That was the one thing in Klsheck that was just a bridge too far, brother man, Like, come on, Coleshack, we don't do that. They don't even do that in this show. Well, you know, we've we've grown quit event since nineteen seventy three and seventy four.

I suppose this is kind of the first, I would say, the first time the show has confronted the racism heads on, like head on, which is good. Like I said, it's it's needed, So Chris, overall, pretty solid batch of episodes. This season has been dare I say the best season we've watched so far? I think you're right, And yeah, we are more than halfway through. There are twenty three episodes in this whole season, so twenty three versus I thought it was always like twenty two.

But next year's twenty four episodes and then twenty two after that. So it's kind of like the summer solstice. You know, it could be the twenty first, could be the twenty second. You don't know, but you know what I do know. The third episode in the next three that we're watching has a title that would not fly in this day and age by oh boy, Yeah, I don't even know how.

I mean. It's the R word, folks, And it's not the one talking about someone's mental capacity. It's the one that's even I guess it's just about as bad. Now you can get demonetized on YouTube for it. Really you can't say rape on YouTube.

Nope, you can't say suicide either. Yeah, your ass to get demonetized immediately. So yeah, see see that's how far we've that's how far we've kind of taken that. Yeah, there's an episode called rape and Barney Millery comedic show, ostensibly comedic show. We talked with Richard recently and talking about the rape episode of All in the Family.

One of the worst things that you could ever have experienced watching that, Well that was what. Oh yeah, there's an episode where Edith gets raped and it was just horrific. It was it introduced as a very special episode. Probably was, but it might have been before very special episodes. It just really blindsides you, and it was back when TV would take on some bigger issues and really just hit you right between the eyes.

Well I'm expecting that that may be kind of where this is going. So yeah, we'll see, but just fair warning, dear listener, if that is something that upsets you, that is the next episode. So just a heads up. Got to do we have to do our service as content creators in the twenty first century. But yeah, I'm looking forward to the next three.

Also, there's a one about a ghost, so that could be fun. Remember that guy Kenneth Kenneth something. I think he'll be back here. Yeah, Tigar, Yeah, I remember that. Maybe it's a were wolf.

Now we have a were wolf. Now we're having a ghost. Who knows? So, Chris, what is happening over at the Culture Cast? So in July are good friends Richard and Cullen are back having programmed an entire month of Charles Bronson movies.

Death Wish I think is the last movie that we're watching. But everything else is things that I have. I mean, I've never seen any of them, which is at this point, like that's kind of the fun thing about my show was I have not seen any of these things at this point. Like I like picking stuff, but most of the time, even when I picked stuff, it's like it's not things that I've seen before, you know. So Charles Bronson movies all in July that we've also got things like The Shabby Detective, yet another Columbo podcast that's happening.

We are still chugging along on Dreams for Sale. The Twilight Zone eighty five podcast, which you've got a few others that you're working on as well. Yeah, Scary Stories We Tell, which is a podcast about spooky horror stuff, and then the Siagal podcast, because you gotta have something to do in those downtime hours when you should be doing anything else. He's watching Steven Seagal movies. I mean, Jesus Christ is in the Lord's work.

I'm doing the work of somebody, but the Lord that may not rain above you, may rain below her.