Buttons, Switches & Consoles Vol 1. The 'Net (1995)

Welcome and thanks for tuning in, midnight viewers, to a brand new series, a brand new show, a brand new topic, brand new co-host, all three. What's that for? Who knows? I'm Father Malone. This is Button Switches and Consoles.

A look at old tech, old movies. Movies that thought they had a handle on technology when basically they were treating it all like magic. And to discuss it with me, I'm going to introduce my co-host, Miss Laura Grillo, straight from New York City. Say hi to everyone, Laura. Wait, wait, wait.

No, no, no. Shut up. I'm going to keep introducing you. Laura is an award-winning filmmaker, a short filmmaker, and is one of the hosts and creators of Silent Writing Happy Hour in New York City at Pete's Candy Store, which all this stuff will be in the show notes at the end of the show. Now I'm going to let you talk.

Hi, Laura. Hi, Father Malone. Hi, everyone. Hi, everyone. Welcome to it.

Say hi to her. Say hi to everybody. Expect plenty of feedback. Okay, great. I like feedback.

I'm going to ask you. Okay. We came to this particular topic based on your love of old technology and this particular type of filmmaking. What kind of movies can we expect here? What are we looking at?

Well, I think we're looking at the 80s, 90s version of Virtual reality, technology advancement, brain augmentation. All the really, how dated they all are at this point. But it's those specific films of that time, I think, mostly, that we're looking at. Don't you think? Definitely in this version, there's a second version of the show.

For all you patrons, for all you generous people, for all the ones I actually love. If you go over to the Patreon channel, we're going to have a sister series where we're going to explore the crazier aspects, the full-on sci-fi aspects of old tech where they didn't get that right either. They didn't. But it veers more into cyberpunk and things like that. If you at any point went, you can order a pizza?

Then this is the series for you as far as online activity. I do wish PizzaNet was still alive and well. That specific, those illustrations and everything that she had. You mean the giant button world that is the internet of... The net, because that's what we're talking about here, kicking it off our inaugural episode.

I know everyone wants hackers. Look, you can't have dessert first, motherfuckers. We're starting with the net from 1995. Okay, Sandra Bullock, Jeremy Northam, Dennis Miller. Yeah.

We all live in the age of information. We're sitting on the most perfect beach. In the world, and all we can think about is weather. Where can I hook up my bottom? Every trace of our existence is computerized.

Everything about us is encoded somewhere on a complex network of information. Computer's your life. Aren't they? Yes. Perfect hiding place.

Computer analyst Angela Bennett was just doing her job. Oh, my God. When she stumbled onto something... What is this? she never should have seen. I plugged it in and I'm staring at the personal medical files of the Undersecretary of Defense, Michael Bergstrom.

Someone's tapped into the system. How long will it take to track her? depends on how long she stays online. Something why would anybody want to do any of this that reaches farther than she could ever imagine. They hack into computers and they cause this chaos wall street. The market panic as officials suspended trading the department of water and power.

In atlanta lax we've lost radar contact. Now it's time to go. They are manipulating her world. We can make it reality, won't we choose? According to the Department of Motor Vehicles, you're Ruth Marks.

They've excluded my information and my fingerprints. I don't understand, why me? Infiltrating her life. Find whoever she's been speaking to. No, he was not a diabetic.

And erasing her identity. We've got an outstanding warrant for Ruth Marks and federal charges. I am Angela Bennett. Just give us the disc and we'll give you your life back. She has the evidence.

She's copied the disc. I'm a girl. But they have the power. This summer, Sandra Bullock is caught. A film by Urban Winkler.

Okay. Written by John Brancato and Michael Ferris. They are a screenwriting duo who have produced so many mediocre projects over the years. Terminator 3, Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation. They did The Game.

The Game. Do you think that's mediocre? Yeah. Very much so. If David Fincher had not directed that movie, we would not be talking about it at all right now.

Because that cast is terrible and the writing is terrible. That fucking doll. Give me a break. It's all a game. Michael Douglas.

What do you think of Michael Douglas? Well, I mean. You love Michael Douglas? I do like Romancing the Stone. Oh, well, that's a great movie, though.

It's a great movie. Yeah. So it depends on the movie with that Douglas fella. Okay, that's fair. I can like him in Ant-Man, but I cannot like him in Ghost to End of the Darkness.

What about Wall Street? Well, he's great in Wall Street. Okay. He's just not to be dismissed so readily. Sounded a bit harsh.

For out of the gate. Okay. But that's me, not you. Anyway, the movie's directed by Irwin Winkler. Speaking of...

Look, basically he hooked up with Martin Scorsese and he's produced all of Martin Scorsese's movies. So he's got that on his resume. As a filmmaker... Not so great. But he certainly knows how to make a transition.

This movie is all transitions. Anyway, before we get fully into plot and everything, I wrote it down in an outline because it sounded fancy to me. What's your relationship to tech, Laura? Ah, I like progress. You've embraced the 21st century as it unfolded?

Well, I mean, efficiency is my love language, but it's all a question about At what cost, you know? Yeah, but what is the cost? What was it then? We're talking 95. What was your relationship?

Were you on the internet in 95? No, I didn't even have an email. I had a flip phone. It was the summer of 95, so I just finished my junior year of college, and I had just recently lost my virginity. So it was a weird summer.

Now, what did your virginity have to do with technology? Was there technology involved? Not at the time. Was music playing? Because then it was.

Thanks to advancement. Well, yes. My radio cassette. PJ Harvey's To Bring You My Love. Oh, my God in heaven.

Okay, go ahead. Yeah. Thanks, Father Malone. What, for diving deep into your virginity loss? No, it's just what happened that summer.

Great song, by the way. That's my favorite song of hers. Well, it was a great record. It was before her glow up. Or maybe that was her glow up.

That was the glow up. And then she did sort of a sex in the city thing. Yeah, that was weird. I still love her. Oh, no question about it.

I'd go see her right now. I'm just saying. There have been highs and lows. I did not even have an email address at the time. In 1995, I had a word processor.

And I think that's as close as I got to technology. I had a friend. I think I had one, too. Yeah, actually, I had an Apple IIc when I was a young person, which I mainly used to play video games and compile lists of movies that I liked. That was the extent that I could think to do with the computing power of the Apple IIc.

Well, I mean, we both had Atari, obviously. A gaming system. In the early 80s, yeah. But that's way before Apple. Well, that's like 80, 81, right?

And 82. Right. But it left its imprint. It's only 15 years. What is that in technology terms?

Nothing. It doesn't expand geometrically year after year. Yeah. I resisted tech as long as I could. I'm a Luddite until I embrace it.

And then I want nothing more than that. See, that's saying a lot of things at once. So you're a Luddite and yet. I'm a Luddite until the technology has revealed all of its wonders. I'm slow to adopt, but once adopted, I'm a zealot.

Does that make sense? So you're essentially the lawnmower man? I am the lawnmower man. I would never insult you like that. By calling me the lawnmower man?

Yeah. That guy was ripped. Anyway, we're going to get there. Yeah, he did. It was so.

To be continued. What we're talking about here tonight is the net. The net, our favorite. It's your favorite. No, I do like it, though.

I know. And that's a failing in you. But here we go. Lots of people love this movie. I saw it when it came out.

Where did you see it? Did you see it on initial run? In the theater with my twin. And, I mean, I remember just... this movie is a way of making you feel smarter than you are because they're little tiny little tricks. And I guess they call them Easter eggs now, which I absolutely hate that term where they just throw things in.

And then you're kind of like, Oh, you know, you're, you get it with the part with the fake FBI agent or at the end with the convention, there's just little bits of that throughout the film, even though you don't know exactly how it's going to turn out and it gets really muddy at the end. But it's at that point, it doesn't really matter. Because you've lasted that long, so you feel like you've accomplished something. So you think this movie, its crowning achievement is its endurance? Well, it's the viewer's endurance.

Ah, it's a reward. Exactly. You figure you were just going to feel good no matter how this movie ended. Just to have it done? And you're telling me you liked this movie.

I liked... It sounds like you liked when it ended. I liked her tan. She had a nice little tan throughout the movie. And her hair.

But that was like the 90s Auburn, you know, where they used henna to get that color. Right. No. Nevertheless. It's fascinating.

It's a good look. Also, this is short Sandra Bullock hair, right? This is her best short hair. Yes. Yeah.

Before she went full. While you were sleeping hair. Morticia. I mean, it's not the extension experience of Practical Magic, which was also a beautiful feat in hair. You like Sandra Bullock?

You a fan of Sandra Bullock? I like. Is it like a Michael Douglas situation with you? How do you not like Sandra Bullock? I mean...

I don't know. I think she's adorable. She has adorable qualities. And capable. Yes.

That is true. Especially in this movie, which is another reason why I like it. I like that movie when she's in space. She has to be reborn on Earth. I miss that one.

The space one. What's that one? It's called I'm in Space, Please Help Me by Sandra Bullock. It might be birth. Ew.

What a terrible name for a thing. No, that was a movie with Nicole Kidman. It was a reincarnation movie. Remember that? She thought her husband was reincarnated in a child.

Weird one. What was going on in the early 2000s? She's made a lot of weird ones, which I admire. The Others? That's a good one.

Well, that's a classic. That's just constantly being remade. How about The Body Snatchers? You like her version of The Body Snatchers? I have not seen...

This is just going to. Be a barrage of questions this entire podcast. And I'm going to come up short because I, you know. You haven't seen a lot of these. I haven't seen that one, even though everyone was obviously talking about it.

Okay. Okay. Where were we? I guess we got to talk about the movie. Yeah, let's talk about the movie.

What I was surprised about watching it was that I kept... They kept killing all the guys that come to try and save her. They all die. Yeah, that's true. Dale.

We've got Alan that dies. Dennis Miller's creepy, super creepy therapist stuff. But still, I could see why she went there. Desperation. Sure.

And Cyber Bob. Dead. We didn't even get to meet Cyber Bob. Now she's going to be saved. But no.

No. She has to save herself. And she does. That is true. Theme of the movie, I guess.

Yeah. Yes. Self-preservation. Also, complete loss of identity. Yes.

Right. But not just... I would argue that she didn't have one to begin with, right? Is that not one of the... No, sincerely, that's kind of the idea.

The reason it's so easy to erase her character is that there is no character to erase. Well, yeah, but everyone has... In the first five minutes of the film, she gets asked out at least four times by varying men involved with her, like with work. And I think even the FedEx guy kind of got creepy. But he's the only one who's seen her.

Everyone else is like a voice on the phone or a line of text. They're gagging for it. Well, she's presenting as a female on the Internet. So everyone's like, it's 1995. There's a girl in the room.

It's like one of those scenarios. She's competent. Well, no, it's not good. I try to understand. I was wondering if they gave her some sort of weird agoraphobia thing.

Would have made sense. Would that have helped the movie along? Or if she's just real shy and bad at life, then. Well, she has a demented mom. Well, Alzheimer's.

Okay, sorry. Okay. No, I think that's what it was. I think you're right, and I don't mean to insult demented people. No, of course not.

I'm just using demented in a general cover-all term, which is probably insensitive. That obviously won't feel good. Yeah. Well, I'm just saying her only actual physical connection to the world is her mom, who does not recognize her. It's like the perfect scenario.

If the internet was not part of the plot of this movie, it could still play. Yes, I think it is a good scenario. It's a good setup. I could see this being a lower Hitchcockian kind of thing. Like one of his 70s movies where he was like, get out of here, my favorite composer of all time.

I'm going to do things with disco. Remember Hitchcock at the end? He kind of lost it. Well, I mean, it's like, or you can be like Psycho and just stop the film and explain everything. Mansplain the entire thing.

And just ruin everything at the end. Yeah. They didn't do that. Well, I mean, technically the movie's over, right? So you could get away with it.

Yeah, right. I mean, it didn't stop mid-movie to go hate. What did you hate the most about it then? Of Psycho? No.

I got to say it's the rear projection. I just, it never felt, no, for The Net, what I did not like about The Net is it felt very by the numbers in a lot of ways. Okay, first of all, I don't like thrillers very much. As a genre? It has to be a real specific thing for me to really get into it.

I'm of a mind that I have enough anxiety and tension self-created that I don't need a movie turning the thumbscrews on me. And when a movie is really effective as a thriller, it's much, much worse because I don't want to be there. But you're like a horror connoisseur. Yeah, but that's different, man, because that's stabbing people in the head. That's a different scenario.

And not just gore, but that's a tension release scenario. All horror is designed to grab you and then punch you. And at least the punch is a release. Thriller is an attempt to ratchet your anxiety until it can't take it anymore over a two-hour period. If it's working well.

Well, like, for example, with Horror of the Call... The call is coming from in the house. That's, to me, that's a thrill. Don't you think that. Well, yeah, because that's a thriller.

But no. But that happens in horror movies all the time. No, it happened in a horror movie. That's actually a thriller. Okay.

Okay. I'm not. I hear you, Father Malone. However. I'm not going to debate this.

Because you're right. You know more than I do about this one. I'm nitpicking genres. I mean. There are thrillers and there are any type...

Lookin'. Lookin'? Look. As a hardcore horror fan, what you keep hearing is every time a horror movie breaks out and transcends popular culture, we immediately get fed that that's a thriller. So Silence of the Lambs is a thriller because it won an Academy Award and it's classier than Nightmare on Elm Street.

So... I like to, when, because that differentiation has been applied over and over again, I like to do that with just in general horror movies now. Is that a thrill? Look, why are we talking about this? No, it's an interesting thing to talk about.

I'll have to think on it. Horror equals supernatural, ultimately. I need somebody coming out of a grave in order for it to be an actual horror movie. Human on human murder and crime and all those things, like The Purge could technically be called a horror movie, sure. The Saw movies or horror movies, sure.

But really, it's just people being shitty to each other. I want a demon. I want a ghost. I want a skeleton knocking on the window. What about Pennywise?

That's a horror movie. He's a creature from outer space. He's a creature from outer space, okay. Now I understand the parameters. Which has nothing to do with the thriller genre, which is what we're talking about here.

Okay, yeah. But this is more of a getting to know ya. Yes. Us getting to know each other here on the air. You get to listen to it, everybody.

Okay. You get what you pay for. But specifically, what bit in the film did make your skin crawl? As far as the tension goes, it's the initial bit. It's when they've started stripping away her identity.

I think the moment that kind of bugged me, not bugged me, I thought it was working as a movie and functioning well as a thriller. And I was feeling tense and anxious when she's In Mexico. And they're like, you're Ruth, right? You're Ruth Marks? And she's like, no, and it's the only way to get into the country.

And she has to sign her name. I don't know, something about the forced nature of signing somebody else's name. identity just to get something done. And already things are going weird. I don't know. I feel invisible anyway, but to have somebody actually kind of make it occur is really horrible.

Oh, you're so sensitive. Oh, get out of here. Well, she got hers in the end anyway, Ruth. That Ruth thing. There's so many weird, uneven moments in dialogue and stuff for me that I had to look up the screenwriters, which I did, which we talked about.

But like when she when he starts talking about he's trying to win her over. And so he's saying how Breakfast at Tiffany's is his favorite movie. Meanwhile, video stores probably had 50 films at the time. And she that's not true. Scarecrow video was open at the time, but how he wanted to be the cat.

He had this identity crisis about being the cat, and he thought this was going to really seduce her. That was the charming part, right? That was very uncomfortable. I agree with that. I couldn't say George Pappard.

You couldn't say I admire his turtlenecks. No, I wanted to be the cat because she has a cat, right? Or her line when they ask her, so what do you want in a man? And she's like, butch, beautiful, brilliant. Yeah.

Captain America meets Albert Schweitzer. I just was like, there's no way a heterosexual cisgender woman would have ever said those or even thought those words together. So that was strange, too. But all that aside, once you go with the movie, it's a fun little ride, I think. What did you not like about the film?

Aside from the horrible little dialogue? Yeah, aside of him trying to seduce her with that bullshit. We see a lot of close-ups of his teeth. It's an anti-Jeremy Northam podcast all of a sudden. Jeremy Northam.

He was so good in Gosford Park. I don't dislike him, but. You know, I liked him in Amistad. He's the judge in Amistad. Yeah, I mean, he's not...

And I like fucked up teeth. I prefer Timothy Oliphant's older teeth before he shaved them down. But it was uncomfortable for me. Okay. How much teeth we got in there.

I'll tell you the part I didn't like of this movie, really. Okay. Somebody cast Dennis Miller in a part that didn't require him to just be Dennis Miller. He tried to act in this movie. He did try.

He was really trying. We saw his hairy chest at the end. Must we have? I mean, she was really kind of warming up to him again, too. Yeah, until he turned into a, let me give you a pill and take it with this alcohol.

I was mostly offended when he got her Chinese food. Because he was like, it's your favorite. No, it's your favorite. Yeah, well, okay. That was a good part of the movie because that was totally relatable.

And that's why he deserved to die. He did. Of the murders that occur, he's the one that makes sense. The one you're happy with? Yeah.

I was sad about Cyber Bob. Cyber Bob needed to go. By the way, if you haven't seen the movie, you're lost. This isn't a book report. I just figured that out halfway through the recording of it.

We're not going to be holding your hand and giving you plot things along the way. We're assuming you've seen this goddamn movie. Yeah, of course you've seen it. You've seen it. Everyone's seen The Net.

If not, go watch it now. Don't go to the video store, though. Aww. That's old tech. R.I.P.

By the way, can I just say about that? If you're posting on social media that you really missed Blockbuster, I'm sorry that you only had a Blockbuster. Yeah, I know. But I get that. I get the nostalgia.

It's the nostalgia, though. A lot of people don't know what Scarecrow video is, and they've never experienced it. If you don't, by the way, you want to tell them, I'll tell them. Every time I go to Seattle, it's the only video store. It's one of the only ones left, really, in the country that's worth a good goddamn up in Seattle.

It's a non-profit. Scarecrow video. Are they non-profit? I believe so, yeah. And I worked there in the late 90s.

When it was cool, man. When it was cool. And we had to walk up and down and put video boxes back. And I had to straighten the porn room because I was the newest hire. So they would make the newbies have to do that every night.

It was an education. Just the porn room or the entire? Well, no, the whole thing. But the porn room was usually given out to all the new people that worked there. There was a lot of laminated boxes.

Really? Just in the room? So many. Couldn't control themselves. Didn't need the VCR.

This box cover art will do. Man, oh man. How many pretentious conversations do you think you had at Scarecrow? Maybe not generated by you, but how many pretentious conversations were you involved? Look, I've worked in mom and pop video stores.

I worked at a fucking arthouse movie theater in Santa Monica, California. I've had pretentious conversations. I could be real pretentious, but I don't think I was there from my film knowledge. I think I got the job for other reasons. So I just took advantage of that and watched as many films as I could and learned as much as I could.

I let the guys tell me what they thought. You do what you got to do. Did I engage? Not that much at the time because I didn't really know what I was talking about. You're just not because that's all they wanted anyway.

I mean, I've always been a little angry. Eisenstein, huh? Ooh. That sounds great. Caligari.

Ooh, yes. Why, yes, I've seen all three of the colors trilogy by Krzysztof Kieslowski. Which one was your favorite? Oh, it's blue. It's definitely blue.

Juliette Binoche is hot. Now I know you like that one. Oh, no. We're still talking about the net. We're talking about my least favorite death, which is what's his face in the airplane.

Because that shit is entirely likely. If you were running on instruments in an airplane... They did that in Die Hard. Oh, that Dale. See, I was rooting for Dale.

Me too. I thought if she was going to have sex with anyone, it should have been Dale. That's what your entire thrust of the movie was, trying to figure out who she was going to fuck? I was hoping she would live. A little bit.

But, I mean, given the choices there. When it gets into hyper tension, like that's so. Tension release. Exactly. Like in that movie Speed with Sandra Bullock.

Yes, exactly. I mean, they make out at the end. They don't actually. They fucked right off camera. I mean, I hope so.

It would be a shame if they didn't. Yeah. Speed is a well-written film. That is. Written by 17 people.

No way, really? They got Good Will hunted? They did. Did two good-looking guys get the credit for that? Get the Academy Award.

Yes. That's exactly what happened. It's so fun. I love that. Two good-looking guys.

By the way, if you want to put a back door on a computer thing, It's best to put it as a symbol where anyone can click on it in the lower right portion of your screen. Yeah, that's where it got all muddy. And this is what I'm saying. This feels to me ultimately like they wanted to write a thriller. they saw something about the internet and went, oh, you could do that. Or they saw a 60 Minutes piece who predicted cybercrime or something.

And they went, oh, we could do that. And then instead of delving into what that actually is or what that means or what it could potentially mean, they wrote the standard amnesia thriller and just threw in some scenes with ordering pizza. I think they tried to create something that made sense in regards to the gatekeeper and the back door and that guy, Greg, but I think the screenplay lacked and it ended up not making sense in what they intended to do. There comes a point where someone could prove who the fuck she is. I mean, apparently not.

Give me a break. She goes to, she goes to buys groceries. Those weren't on the internet available. I mean, I guess you could order delivery. It was Los Angeles.

There's somebody seen her. You could ponder that forever. She goes and gets coffee. One of the baristas has hit on her at least once. Well, apparently everyone did.

Until they see that hideous face of hers. She is adorable in the movie, but you know where she wants to keep her mom safe? And so Dennis Miller, he saves the day by safely ensconcing her to the coney. sanitarium she feels she feels. Comforted by that i was like your mom is now being abused and held against her will in a sanitarium it's like why isn't anybody thinking clearly i guess not at. That point beggars couldn't be choosers she just wanted her mom safe air quotes they And at that point, sure, the worst potential asylum.

What's a little. She's definitely getting strapped down. Electroconvulsant therapy. Why are we splitting hairs here? It's a whole lot of Thorazine from then on.

For mom. But at least she didn't get killed. Yeah. Because this is life worth living. Good work, Sandy.

So what did you think about Devlin's weird psychosexual obsession that started to almost come out and become an underlying thing? Is that Jeremy Northam's thing? Yeah. Character's name? The teeth guy.

Yeah. I liked that episode. as an idea. I like the idea of assassin prey situation where he actually falls for her or she fell for him. That's an interesting scenario and is worthy of a movie. And here it felt really tacked on.

And like Jeremy Northam said, can we do something else with my character? I'm just a standard villain here. And how about he's really in love with her? Perfect. And then they wrote that on the day.

That's kind of how it feels. I agree with you. Speaking of big problems, biggest problem. They're on the beach and the mugger steals her purse to get the disc. And then he goes to check and they can't find the disc.

And then he assassinates that man right there. Yeah. Then he continues on his path. And ultimately, the idea that he's in love with her is just a plot contrivance because any professional would have, upon first meeting, just shot her dead and then gone to her room and ransacked it and then said, not here, do her apartment. That's it.

Yeah, it did seem a little convoluted. They could have easily, if she was on the beach, they could have just. They read her blog to figure out her favorite movie and what kind of food and how she takes her drinks. What was the classic honey trap spy thing that they give courses on now on the internet? Did you care at all about the Protarians?

I didn't. I still don't know who they are. There's some convoluted plot going on. That's where it got muddy. Oh, yeah.

Okay. So look, not that you need to hear any of this now, but that's another thing. So this whole movie turns on the notion that a U.S. senator has murdered himself because he has been given an AIDS diagnosis. As it turns out, that was falsified because he is a virulent, anti-gay right-winger. And now that he has AIDS, he's so humiliated that he has to kill himself.

And they've made it happen. And if that gets out, if that gets out. In a park. Oh, yes. Okay.

That was kind of cool. It's a drowning man. It's giant limbs and a head of a statue poking through the earth as if he's sinking into it. I thought that was a nice metaphor for what was about to happen. I liked it too.

I did. We should find out where that park is. And go there immediately. Go visit. Suicide Park, we're finally here.

But see, I wonder, why would he have gotten AIDS? Maybe it doesn't really delve into that. They didn't make it an accidental blood transfusion or anything. Right. Or maybe he wasn't being honest about certain behaviors.

Maybe he was secretly gay and they just didn't have time in this overstuffed fucking movie to really get to the actual plot that was occurring here. And not just fucking following Sandy Bullock to Cozumel. Which also looked nice. Oh, man. Didn't it?

Yeah. Most of this movie shot in Pasadena in Venice, Venice, California, my former hometown. Oh, wow. That house that she lives in, $ 2. 3 million these days.

Wow. I looked it up. That little bungalow. That tiny one-room shack on a fetid, stinking river. It's like down the street from where Elliot Gould's character lived.

In The Long Goodbye. No. No, not like that. Oh, no, no, no. He lived in Hollywood.

He lived in the Hollywood Hills. I've seen that apartment, too. That's the one I actually want to live in. Because there's Playboy bunnies at the end of the street. Oh, yes.

And they all just do yoga together naked. And get high and ask for fucking fudge packs. Fudge, fudge. They ask for him to buy a Duncan Hines fudge mix. Oh, the brownies, yeah.

So they can make brownies, yes. I shouldn't have brought up that movie. It's a great movie. Yes. Oh!

It is. I mean, it's got real no ending, but he was a heaping hunk in it. Oh, so that's all is forgiven? Well, I mean, hey, you got to see a bunch of naked women doing yoga for the first five minutes of the movie. I mean, there's a lot to it.

It's okay by me. Yeah. I like that movie. I do. I like The Long Goodbye.

Okay. You sure? Yeah, I do. I mean. I do like it a lot.

I like watching it. It makes me laugh. You just don't like to live it. It's never ending. I did my time in a Raymond Chandler novel.

It's no fun. You never know what you're up to. Just blown hither and yon. Are you getting into Twilight Zone episode? He is in a Twilight Zone episode.

It was called Misfortune Cookie from 1986. Elliot Gould. Is it a good one? No. It's really bad.

We did what we hated. We did what we favored. Did we do what we favored? What do you like about this movie? Like I said in the beginning, it just makes you feel a little smarter than you are.

I think there's so much ridiculousness to it. It's a fun thriller. I like just watching how it changes. And there's these moments, there's a lot of stuff where she tries to wriggle away. There's at least five scenes in the movie where she really tries to wriggle away really, really intensely and she can't get away.

And I thought that's fun too. Yeah. Big fan of the Sandra Bullock wriggling. I think it's a successful film with all its flaws and ridiculousness. I like it very much.

I think it does hang together as a thriller. I just think it's too convoluted for its own good. Yes. Which isn't to say that I don't like a labyrinthine plot in a thriller. They can be great as long as it's smarter than I am.

But if I figured your fucking thing out in 10 seconds, all the twists and turns you want to add to it just feel like dodges and not... An actual well put together mystery box. I think I hear what you're saying. I do. But she's also so charming.

I think that's what made the movie watchable. It's just her. This is that period where she had just been in Demolition Man and Speed and they hadn't quite figured out what to do with her yet. And they hadn't really put her in a romantic comedy yet. Can we talk about her eyebrows in Demolition Man?

Yes, please. I mean, they're incredible. I'm surprised they ever grew back. Okay. I think overall, I recommend the movie.

I do like it. I think it's a solid movie. I think it's a solid thriller from the 1990s. I don't think Erwin Winkler is in any way a good filmmaker, but I do admire his transitions, as I mentioned. At one point, flames became flowers.

You know what my favorite quote of it is? The net is the ultimate condom. That's what one of her cyber buddies says. Oh, right, right. Okay.

I thought for a moment, I thought, did they advertise the film that way? No, but they should. That would be bold on Columbia's part. Do you know what I remember most about this movie? What?

I was in the theater and the previews were playing and it said, coming soon. And then the Columbia logo came up and then the little arrow cursor came onto the screen and clicked on the Columbia logo. And everyone in the theater went, ooh, because it's something we knew, but it hadn't been really in popular culture yet, the idea of mice. Now comes the time where we pair a film up. I asked you to come up with a pairing.

You did. For The Net, a movie of similar quality in some strange, almost ethereal or ephemeral quality to it. I came up completely blank. Whoa. I just didn't...

Nothing compares to that. No, it's just so long. And I didn't want to watch anything after I finished this. So I just pair it with a Pinot Noir because I just needed a drink. I would pair this movie with The Conversation.

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. But that's... That's where it's reversed, though. He's the one.

It's the Jeremy Northam character who becomes obsessed with the Cindy Williams character and ends up making a hell for himself. Okay. Okay. So it's like the negative image of this movie. And it's really well made.

That's a well-crafted film. Yes. I'm trying to pair it so there's no aftertaste of the net. See, but there would be. It would be like why you would just hate the net.

So you want me to pair it with a lesser film so it looks better by comparison? No, just alcohol. Just alcohol. Just pair it with alcohol. There you go.

That's going to be our recommendation. I can't argue with it, honestly, is the thing. I understand the concept of wanting to pair it, but I see why you chose that movie as well. It's a good movie. Yeah, it is.

But it's on a completely different level. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's like watching, I don't know, something serious and something not. That's specific for everybody? Yeah.

Wow. Art is subjective. I just didn't want to lock anybody into a particular. But I didn't like that movie. I'm pairing something good with something bad.

Yes. Easy to understand. Yes. I mean, by that token, I could have paired it with virtually anything good. Anything else.

With some sort of surveillance. Did you ever see The Money Pit? Good movie. I'm pairing it with The Net. It is a good movie.

I think that's going to do it for this particular episode. If you want to, as I said, there's a Patreon version of the show where we get even wackier with more sci-fi concepts. That's, well, it's over on the Patreon. Laura, if people are looking for you online or elsewhere, where can they find you? Plug the things, if you would.

Silentwritinghappyhour.org. I am an editor and writer on there. We co-host at Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg on Tuesdays. We're back after summer break on the 15th. I hope we see you there.

As for me, you're listening to the show I do, Midnight Viewing. It's on twice a week, Mondays and Fridays. Fridays is Father Malone's weekly roundup where we take a look at things that are streaming and or theatrically new. And I have HP sitting in with me doing the news on that lately, which is proving pretty popular. And it takes all of the pressure off of me.

And because Mondays we have what was a dual show where it was either a fest with me and HP or a horror anthology series with Mike White. But now there's a third. That's this show. So tune in Mondays for one of those and Fridays for me. Over on the Patreon show, we have exclusive shows like Vault 702, The Fallout Podcast, Step Off, The White Rapper Show.

Until next time, everybody, try to enjoy the daylight.