Tales of the Unexpected S02E03 & 04 - Galloping Foxley, The Hitchhiker

Welcome back to Midnight Reviewing. I'm your host, Father Malone, and we are now engaged in a year's long struggle to tackle Roald Donald's Tales of the Unexpected with me. As always, he carries a swagger stick everywhere he goes. Mister Mike White, Hello Slave. Tales of the Unexpected ran for a whopping nine series, topping under one hundred and twelve episodes, spanning from March twenty fourth, nineteen seventy nine, until May the thirteenth.

At nineteen eighty eight, we are fully into season two now. This is season two episode three, Fuck When did Adair? Which aired originally on March the fifteenth, nineteen eighty This is Galloping Foxley, written by Robin Chapman. I'm a short story by Roald Dahl and directed by Claude Watham, starring John Mills, Anthony Steele, Paul Surrier, and Jonathan Scott Taylor Damien from the Omen two. This is a story of a young man's or an elderly man's or an older man's recollection of his time at a boarding school, an all boys boarding school in England and his tormentor and potentially catching up with that tormentor years later, Mike, what do you think of galloping Foxley?

Well, I can't say I was that big of a fan. I was really hoping for something more. We've talked about twists as we've talked about this show before, and I'm very curious if this twist is real or not. I like the setup a lot. I like this whole setup of this guy who is this life of quiet desperation.

He always is at this particular place in line with the rest of the gentleman as he's waiting for the train. He always sits in the same space every single day. And then one day, this very say utra guy. The lighter blue suit, the gray hair, the way he's wearing, the coat off of the shoulders, all these things, he seems to be taking this guy's place. He's in the line at this guy's place, he sits in this guy's seat, and I'm just like, Okay, well this is interesting.

Maybe he's going to try to take this guy's literal place. Wouldn't that be interesting if this old man just kind of got outed, moved out of his own life and here's this other guy who's just you know, moving in with whatever it is. And I was hoping for more build up, and instead we get this prolong flashback series of all of these things where we're hearing and I also think that a dramatic device, and this should have been him telling someone the story instead of just telling us the audience. Because a lot of this is done in voiceover. We get these longer flashbacks of this old man when he was younger and at this boarding school and his dad embarrasses him in front of this guy, and this older student just starts picking on him all the time, and it just seems to be the way of the world for these boarding schools because there are other dickheads that have little kids that they are bossing around.

I had to say I like this a lot more when I saw it in O Lucky Man or wait no, not O Lucky Man. If yes, I liked a lot more when I saw it, and if than I did hear, I really felt the danger a lot more. And this just felt kind of silly when it came to some of the older the flashbacks of these two when they're younger, and then we get to a big twist at the end. But yeah, I want to hear more about you before we talk about the twist. Yeah, I agree.

I was thinking about if the entire time and how that one felt really brutal and this one felt like a community theater version of that brutality. And you know, I've been reading a lot over the past year or so about Monty Python and the individual Python members, and you know, Eric Idol speaks with a great deal of hatred of his time at boarding school and confirms all of this and much much worse behavior. And I think it's a it's always a avenue worth exploring on television to show that this sort of shit went down, and if it is still going down, then it needs to stop. And I went to an all boys Catholic school where we didn't have anything like this going on because obviously it was at least the eighties and there are enough punker kids there that this wouldn't have been tolerated, you know.

But I thought that, first of all, that kid Jonathan Scott Taylor who I mentioned, he played Damien. He's the lead antagonist. He's again uping Foxley, so named because he gets a galloping start when he's going to cane You why is that that kid is like English William Atherton times a thousand it's just like you just want to punch him right in the fucking face what he's. Saying, right, yes, yes, oh yeah. The thing is you're absolutely right.

By the way, what should have happened is we should have had two days of this guy trying to get to work in this other interloper in his place, and then he realizes it's galloping Foxley, and then on the next train ride tells the entire car this story. He should have been addressing everybody. Right exactly. I was thinking that this, you know, even if it was let me tell you this story. And we're you know, at a bus well sorry, a bar, a pub, and it is our main character talking to one of his friends or just a random stranger and tells him this whole tale.

Because when you get to the end of this, it just it's a wet fart, I mean, unless the other guy is lying. So I want to put it to you, and I guess we should probably reveal. The twist is that our main character is wrong that the whole time he's telling us this story, that this gentleman who is trying to take his place, he's in line, went for the train. He's sitting in this guy's spot in the train. He starts to get into his head that it's Oh, it's this dickhead that I went to school with all these years ago, who treated me like a slave and beat me and did all these horrible things.

And so he finally says out loud, oh, yeah, you did all of this awful stuff to me, and the guy says, no, sorry, old Chap, that's not me. Was he lying or was it just that our main character was wrong the entire time? I believe. For me he was lying, okay, But I don't think the story means for that. I think it just means to be a further humiliation for this character.

It is a philip for sorry. It is a humiliation. And I'm like, so there's you know, we were talking a few episodes ago, and I've brought this up many times as far as the way the universe balances the scales, and it's just one more humiliation on this guy's record. He was humiliated all through school by this galloping Foxley character until Foxley probably graduated a few years earlier. I don't necessarily see this other guy's being older, because he looks much more dapper than our main character.

But yeah, it after he says so sorry, you know that wasn't me. It's like, all right, well, now you look like a complete income poop. Well, now that you have outed yourself as being this little pissant who is getting beaten in school, what does that leave for you? Now you've been humiliated in front of everybody in this train car that you see every single day, you just look like a dumbass. Yeah, it means he's gonna have to find another car to ride in because because everyone in that car is giving him sidewards glances.

Now, And is that because he was he was such a humiliating little when he. Was, you know, such a twerp when he was a kid. And or is it because he just accused this guy needlessly right by the way at you know, the the guy he believes to be galloping Foxley in the present day is very gregarious, right, And at no point did he just say my name is so and so, and you are too, galloping Foxley, the potential galloping just to get the name out of him. You mean it said my name is Stuart Foxley. You go, oh galloping Foxley?

Look, motherfucker, you know who I am? Right exactly? And then stab the guy. I mean, there should have been some sort of plan rather than just oh don't you remember me? You used to he'll humiliate me in school.

It's like, no, sorry, you know, I don't know. This one just lands so flat for me because it feels like they have a build up and they just don't have any idea how to pay it off. This should have ended with Foxley running across a field and this guy chasing him down on a horse with a cane. Or maybe give him a nudge when the train's coming in and he falls on the tracks. There we go.

That could also satisfy Rold Doll's sense of the fucking darkest hearts that we have to keep dealing with here because my god, this is I can't look. I don't think Doll. Has figured out the anthology trick of There are scales involved that we need to balance sometimes because it's either all a big win or all a big loss, right. I mean, we saw the husband be a jerk to Susan George and get clocked over the head with the leg of lamb. That's justice, you know, and the cops eating the leg of lamb and they're not being any sort of evidence.

Now she gets to live her life. There you go, We've seen these things, but here it's like, what do you do? Why are you just making your main character suffer even more when he really didn't deserve it as a child, he probably doesn't deserve it now. I don't like the whole idea of like, he's so set in his ways now that he has to have this particular spot in the line and this particular trained seat and know all those things, but he doesn't deserve to be humiliated for that. I don't know.

Yeah, it's you can't even count it as a potentially happy ending, where at least now he'll break out of his routine and be free of galloping Foxley and whatever hold he still has over his mind. But interestingly, you know doll, when he tells the when he opens up the story, he tells us that this is his story, Like he says, this all happened, and describes the flogging process as six with the dressing gown on and four with it off. That was your choice. So all this trauma and he gives us the quietest sort of story ever that ends in more humiliation for our lead. I don't know.

I got to think a little more on this. Maybe I am I being out thought by Roald Donald. It wouldn't be the first time, but here it just doesn't feel like he had anything to say other than life is a grind and it will be until you die. Right, And like you said, there are interesting stories that can be told about these boarding schools, and we saw that in Lindsay Anderson's film. We've seen it in other films as well.

You know, I'm trying to think of some of the other ones, like even just oh gosh, I can't remember the name of it, but it was like Ungman Wittering and Zeno or something, where it's just the that was more against the one of the professors, and just this conspiracy, this cabal amongst you know, some of the students and stuff. But these boarding schools just seem I mean, I've listened to the Smiths. I know how that barbarason begins at home, you know, but it just it feels like there's such a ripe story here, but just being told in the wrong way. Yeah, you know this. The same year that this aired, Pink Floyd's The Wall came out, which also had a similar take on the factory like nature of trauma machines going on in the British school system.

Right Well, anyway, that's that was that one. Another misfire this season. Things aren't looking good. This leads us to season two, episode four. This is the Hitchhiker.

It aired originally on March twenty second, nineteen eighty Written by Robin Chapman, once again from a short story by Roald Dall, this one was directed by Alistair Reid, who would end up directing the entirety of that Tales of the City mini series The Armistad momt Pen thing on PBS back in. The early nineties. There. This one stars Rod Taylor, the time traveler himself, and Cyril Cusack and John Forgeum. This is the story about a American professor in England who loves to drive and picks up a pickpocketing hitchhiker and all sorts of shanans En Sue, Mike, what you think of the Hitchhiker?

Okay, now, maybe we should have done another series between a Hammer House of Horrors and Tales of the Unexpected, because as soon as I see the title The Hitchhiker, I'm like, oh, yeah, we just saw a hitchhiker story. But that had to have been Hammer House of Horror, right. Oh yeah, that's the one with the guy with the giant rain slicker and flashbacks. Yeah, and that was a doppelganger episode. Right, And with this one, I was like, Okay, what's going to happen, especially when Doll gives this introduction where he's just, oh, yeah, I picked up Hitchhiker once and this was bad news and blah blah blah, And I'm like, okay, well, is this story going to mimic what you're telling?

No? Instead Rod Taylor doing his standard American accent, I also forget that he's actually Australian. Him doing his American accent. He picks up this guy who's just I thought for sure he was going to be like a freaking leprechaun or something, because he's just like a trickster character. But it's all stupid stuff.

It's stupid Tress. There's really nothing that's going up. You give me a story named the Hitchhiker. I'm thinking, you know, Tails from the dark Side or not Tail, some nex site creep show two. You know, thanks for the ride, lady, That's what I'm thinking we're gonna get instead of well, chick your buckets.

Oh I took your wallet. Oh you don't have your watch on. Oh hey, And it's like what what, Oh I'm going to lie to the cops. Yeah, it's like, all right, get this guy in trouble, do something. Raise the stakes.

Instead, it just feels like the most innocuous stuff And I'm like. If this is the worst of it, I'll pick up a headchhiker. Yeah this you would do worse than this guy. And any trouble that that befalls Rod Taylor in this episode is his own making. This one is filmed again, which was nice, and some of the shots are beautiful.

Actually, some of the choices are beautiful when they're like with the hitchhiker and he's in the cars still and the cop has pulled Rod Taylor out and they're standing in front of the windshield, but the windshield wipers aren't going, so you're just getting the water pouring down the thing, turning them into abstract paintings. I loved that. And yeah, the doll introduces it by saying, you know, it was his policy to never pass by a hedgehiker, pick up every single one of them. And then he picked up two men with long hair and beards, and they put a knife to his throat and they stole his car. So I will never pick up a man with a beard or long hair again.

Fucking hippies. By the way, I didn't mention this in the past two or three episodes, but I noticed that each of them began and then it featured a character walking around for literally two or three minutes. Every single one of those featured a character literally walking around and looking at stuff and whatever. And it was it's not inconsequential when you're doing a twenty three minute episode just saying that they don't do that here. They got right to it, which I really appreciated because there isn't much they do here.

And as you said, Mike, it's like, well it is. It does end up being like bad street magic, you know, like, yeah, where's your watch? You know, where's your You're sure you're wearing your. Dentures right now. It's like that kind of shit.

Is this your card? Yeah? But they also do stuff like he's look at this and it's his shoelace from his foot that's on the break, and it's like that's it was impossible, Like we were watching it could not have happened. So like you, I'm like, Okay, this guy has some sort of magic and they've chosen to make him irish, so he's got to be some sort of leprechaun or at least a member of the she the fairy folk, you know. But no, and then they make a stupid bent.

This car can't get up to one hundred and thirty miles an hour, so rod Taylor guns it to one hundred and thirty miles an hour. Why who cares what this fucking freakazoid you picked up that? Okay? So then the cop, look, that is all very threatening. I've every time I get pulled over, basically it's this, it's this interaction.

It's the cop going, I want to prosecute you as much as I can, and I will if I can get away with it. So that part of the episode to me was very harrowing. And I was appreciative that they had a pickpocket go out and steal that guy's book. I liked all of that, Yeah, but why did it take us this long to get there? And then I also disagree with rod Taylor's choice his final choice when he realizes his car has been stolen, where he basically starts crying about it, and I would think after all the fucking bullshit that just happened, he would at least laugh about it.

Well, of course he was going to steal the car, right. Right, Yeah, it just makes sense. And Steady's like, oh no, poor me. It's like you were facing eight hundred pound fine and you were losing your license for a full year. Your insurance is going to pay for your car.

Smile fucker. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Like you said, it is all of his own making. And even if the Leprechaun, and I'm just gonna go with that, if the Leprechaun had been more convincing, because it just it feels like, oh, this car, it's pretty special to you. Oh how fuss did it go?

You know, it's like, all right, do something impune his manhood or something. Find out that he's over in England because he got divorced, and now start to play on that. Now start to oh, yeah, I bet you your wife's going with somebody who's pretty fast, and I bet you he can get up to one hundred and twenty miles an hour or something like that. Do something be a little bit more vicious, you know, give me Warwick Davis. You know, give me something around that.

I want to see this trickster God really play into this instead of just being a wee bit of mischief going on. Yeah, and ultimately the Rod Taylor character, like when they start talking early on the Cyril Cusack gets offended that he's asking him too many questions, like he's prying into his life. He's like, let me out of the car. And then Rod Taylor basically begs him to get back into the car. And I thought, well, I don't really like you, Rod tayl.

This guy seems like a dickhead. You should not be begging him to get back in your car. Seems like everything else that happens is going to be your fault, Rod Taylor. And then really nothing does happen other than he almost goes to jail, he almost loses his license, he almost whatever, And like I said, he's just gonna get that car back. Right, or another one, or get the money, Yeah, and get something maybe a little less fancy.

Maybe you don't need a sun roof in England where it's cloudy all the time anyway. Yeah, maybe get a slower car and be happy with that and appreciate your liberty on the roadways of England, where he's already had two offenses by the way, so come on, man. I kind of would have liked it had it been an American car and then have a little bit more you know Hachet when it comes to that, and have the old guy be like, oh, these American cars, they just can't keep up with our British made stuff, and maybe that's what he uses. Can you tell anyone to some taunting? You know.

I didn't need as much spanking with the last episode or flogging, but with this one, I definitely need more taunting. I need there to be some more devilry going on with this guy other than yeah, just stealing the car at the end. Okay, yeah, you know this. It reminds me of well true romance to have a poster on them. All.

The inciting action in that is that Clarence has to go get her clothes back, which he doesn't need to do. He just wants to go kill that guy because he was her pimp. It makes no fucking sense. I like the movie overall, it's just that moment I'm like this, who does this? And it just I bet this car doesn't get up to one hundred and thirty miles an hour.

I'll show you. I don't like either of you. Shut up, sit down. Well, who's next for a story? I'd better follow them?

Yeah yeah, and like, at least make this if the old man isn't going to be able to taunt very well, at least make him a lot more friendly and somebody that you would want to have. Oh no, I'm sorry if I offended you. Come on back in the car the way that this guy is talking. Yeah, get away from me. Okay, well, hey, you know I'm going as far as to the end of this fence and then you're getting out.

Yeah, exactly. Rod Tayler's a pushover, and the other guys at Dick I don't like anybody. I certainly don't like the cops. So oh, okay, bring back, bring back you know, a widow and her husband's brain and a jar. That was good.

Yeah, yeah, keep doing this. Bunkers this episode. I have to say, I'm. Sorry, folks, if you'll join us for the next episode, we be taking a look at those next two episodes of TAM from the Unexpected. Those are called Poison and Fat Chance.

I wonder what that subject is going to be Mike until next time. Where can people find you when they're looking for you? You can always find me over at the Projection Booth podcast dot com, where every week I talk about different movies, and I've been doing it for a little bit. Stop on by and hear us discuss things. How about you, fatherom.

Alone, Well you're hearing it here on Midnight Viewing. Every Monday, it's either this or HB looking at a fest. We're looking at Von Doomfest right now. But the MCU every Friday it's a Father Balloon's Weekly round Up where I take a look at the latest in streaming or theatrical releases. And over on the Patreon channel, we've got a bunch of shows that are exclusive.

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