74.1: Somebody call 911

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

What's up, and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian. This is Roger. This is. Hey, it's my turn.

You are already going out of order. I was going to snake you. This is Misty. This is Jay. And this is Rod, coming to you from the new studio, the new Movie Meltdown studio.

The fabulous new studio that's not fully done, but it's close enough to at least be functional at this point, which is really all we're looking for. Super spacious. So spacious that the walls echo. Definitely a step up from last time. Yeah.

We could tie in and say that it actually kicks ass. We'll get to that. We'll get to that later. We'll edit that shit out. I'm awesome when you know it.

Don't hate me. That was terrible. Would you expect any love? At least her shoes don't smell like alcohol. Yeah, lucky.

Me. Sticky shoes. Jack holes. Frickin' theater. Unfortunately, I knew at.

One point in my life. Today's feature, which we might as well already spoil, is going to be Kick-Ass. And right before the movie started, some jackass behind Misty and Jay came up behind Roger and his, I don't know who, the mysterious woman that showed up. And some jackass behind him dropped a bottle of beer. You could hear it drop and shatter.

And really, I don't know how you just epically fail that bad. You're really drunk and you lose all grip control. The movie hasn't even started yet. Exactly. That was the best part.

The lights had just gone down. And you heard... and then as. It just starts leaking down between my legs as if I. Had pissed myself I was just like oh god let's fucking. Move get out of here and he gets up and he's like.

I mean it's like yeah I was sticking to the floor already I think maybe that was good to kind of lube it up so they could break free or something. Alright good times that's That's the true movie-going experience, right? I've felt it. I can't say I've had very many drunken movie experiences. Some weed experiences.

Some smoked-out experiences. I remember going. To some movies in the late 70s where the whole room would just be full of smoke. And, you know, you're 12 years old. You're like, what the hell is that smell?

Yeah. I was born on that smell, so it never really surprised me. Wow. Nice, nice. I got a lot of it this weekend, which I guess will lead into this week's geek activities.

What did you do? Oh, there was actually a lot this week. A lot of activity. The main thing was shifting boxes. Yeah, as of yesterday, this was completely covered.

Where we were sitting was completely stacked with boxes to the point I had a path to get through. So, yeah. Nice. Yesterday, pretty much up at dawn, that's all I did was shift boxes the hell out of the way so we could actually function. That kind of sucked.

I won't go too much into the specifics of the other activity that was going on yesterday. Was it illegal? No, no. Well, because it doesn't apply to 99.9% of our listeners. Yesterday, in this town, they had the largest freaking fireworks display in the country.

Yeah. They went off late. We don't have much in the city, but we do blow more money on fireworks than anybody else in the country, mind you. So I double-checked. They are still stating it is the largest annual pyrotechnic display in North America.

Ooh. Exciting. Well, I would never go downtown anymore and get into that mess. I did watch it on TV, though. It was actually pretty awesome.

That's the thing. And I haven't been since, what, 10, 12 years? I think that time we walked down there was the last time I went. But our new fabulous location here is actually within walking distance. of the thriving downtown metropolis here so um yeah i i decided like i wasn't gonna leave the house all day that was my plan because i knew people were gonna show up and steal my parking spot and i'd have to get around these losers and yokels as i. Kept calling you wouldn't be able to get back in yeah you.

Wouldn't you'd be blocked out of your own damn neighborhood so screw that on the roof or something well no that's what the neighbors did i didn't know that or i would have just gone over there and bothered them but um but yeah i waited i was like okay i'm gonna wait till it's dark i'm not even gonna go and get in the middle of it i'm gonna wait till it's just about to start and i'm gonna walk down there and see how close i can get well because they took so long to start i was there like in 15 minutes i was standing on the waterfront looking at the bridge going oh well okay i guess now i'll watch this shit so Front row seats. So, yeah, that's all I really needed. I didn't need the people. People suck.

It was just, you know, what was it, like 80, 100,000 people down there? I mean, it was a ridiculous amount of people. Yeah, yeah. The biggest bunch of dorks you'll ever... 700,000, I think.

Because they've got music cranked up. The lamest soundtrack I've ever heard. They only play like 30 seconds of a song and cut to another one. What did you compare it to? To Miley Cyrus.

Stole some gay Kentucky guy's iPod and just started flipping through songs. Because they were just like, damn, it's Lady Gaga, shit. Okay, oh, here's some Michael Jackson. Wait, no, here's Lady Gaga again. Here's Madonna.

Oh, Madonna, Lady Gaga. It didn't flow. It never does. It never does. Usually it's at least a little bit better than that.

It's been bad for a long time. When they first started it, they only used movie score music, and that was pretty good. It was pretty good at that point. But now it's all like... 20-minute second clips of hip songs, and then country songs come out.

We've got to throw something in for the country people. The part that pissed me off the. Most was the really bad cover of Thunderstruck. Oh, my God! I mean, at least in the past, they've actually played Thunderstruck.

I was like, what the? Well, no, maybe because ACDC was in town and they got in trouble for it. Yeah, ACDC was in town on Wednesday, and I guess they saw something. They probably saw a commercial or something. Yeah, probably.

They probably did. What the hell is this? We didn't sign for this. We're not going to authorize this. We're going to sue you.

If they were sitting in their hotel and the Thunder over a little commercial comes on and it's playing Thunderstruck. Hey, this is on the phone in 30 seconds. Now listen, we gotta get rid of this. Yeah, I guarantee you that's probably what happened. That would be the worst cover ever.

I'm glad I missed it all. But this, and yeah, I would have too had it not been so damn close. But to put it all in perspective, as it was getting ready to start up, they played... several versions of the National Anthem and God Bless America. And nobody blinked an eye. Nobody paid attention.

But I'll be damned when the speakers started blaring out, somebody call 911. Oh my God, you should have seen the fucking crowd. What? This fucking, oh, 911. Did you raise the roof?

Wait, 911's a joke? That song? No, no, no. This is recent. This is, what is it?

It's fire burning. It's, yeah. I'm not hip. Oh, obviously not. No, the rest.

Yeah, the rest of the crowd was just like, oh, yeah, I know that one. So everybody lost their damn mind and was jumping around. And this was the thing. It's a good grouping of all different races, creeds, and colors. And I have to say, this is the one unifying thing.

Nobody can fucking dance. So just stop. No matter, you name it. Everybody there was dancing around and doing the worst shit I'd ever seen. I was just staying here and watching fireworks for God's sake.

Stop. You were dancing, weren't you? You were doing the white man overbite, weren't you? No. The noodle hybrid, you know.

Lame. It was, yeah, chock full. Anyway, the fireworks though. There actually was a couple of fireworks kind of stunts that I had never seen last year. They did a few.

Yeah, they did a few that I hadn't seen before. And, again, seeing it so many damn years, I could give a rat's ass now. So it's still, you know. And I always like the ending because it looks like a nuclear bomb just went off. Yeah.

I love that. That's what I keep waiting for, for them to just fire them off all at once and just nuke the whole place. I was just waiting for, like, during the air show, they just started, like, you know, they had a... an old rickety barge out there that they need to scuttle and they just like release like cluster bomb ordnance on top of it or. Something that would have been awesome napalm the river oops napalm the waterfront along. With it maybe doing us all a favor that was entertaining too uh midway during the day they also do an air show and yeah there was an air show in my backyard so i didn't have to go anywhere i just looked up and like harrier jets are flying by Like, oh, that's kind of cool.

Pretty awesome. Eating hot dogs and watching planes fly over it. Anyway, if you don't live in Louisville, you probably don't care what we're talking about. Well, I just, yeah, again, there's no specific context for you, but fireworks. I think we all know what that shit looks like.

So me making fun of the people that are out there and them playing 9-1-1. Yeah, I just had to throw that out there because that was fucking hilarious. I mean, you really, it's about as Southern as you can get. We get all patriotic and we blow shit up. You get drunk.

Yeah, yeah. I like those two things, but not in a weird redneck way. I'm all for blowing shit up. Except it got cold last night. I felt sorry.

I was watching it on TV. I'm like, people have their six-month-old babies out there. It's like 30 degrees or something. Yeah, I didn't plan. You can see their breath coming out.

Once again, as I didn't plan, I just walked out in a t-shirt. I was like, fuck it. I'm walking down to the river. So, yeah. Other than that, um the only other things was uh i found a new packing uh thing to watch uh it's been a while since i busted out the box set of veronica mars so oh hell yeah fucking awesome nice i forgot just how awesome a girl is she's just kristen bill kristen is fucking hot but aside from that like she's really good in it it's amazing how well they for something that probably was going to get canceled within the first few episodes luckily it didn't but i'm surprised it make it as far as it did it's they put a lot of time into writing on it and it's i don't know it's pretty well pieced together as tv goes because usually i don't care about tv so.

She's just so damn cute. I want to put her in my pocket and carry her around. Yeah. Other than that, I just watched the special guest episodes that were on TV, again, while I was putting shit away. Earlier in the week, there was an episode of Bones, which I don't normally watch, but I saw the commercial coming on, and it was the one with special guest Robert Englund.

Hmm. Yeah, I feel bad for Robert Englund, because I don't think he's a terrible actor, but nobody gives him anything to do, ever. Like, he's in this thing for a full, maybe, five minutes, if you pieced everything together on a little YouTube clip. Because, I mean, that's it. They piece him in, and he's just there to be the decoy.

He's like the guy that owns the amusement park on Scooby-Doo, basically. He's there to be creepy, and to make you think, oh, he did. And then at the end, you know, obviously he's not going to do it because he looks like he's the one that did it. Maybe some of his past work might make him seem kind of suspicious. No, I mean, they had him nothing but surrounded by blades the whole time.

He's saying lines like, you never know when you might need to cut something. Oh, subtle, thanks. So, yeah, that's... Yeah. Good times.

How about the next special? The other special guest? That was the other one I watched. Yeah, I couldn't pass up watching The Wizard of Waverly Place with special guest Shakira. Hell yeah.

Holy shit. Oh, my God. I don't even like Shakira, but anytime there's a special guest celebrity on any. Show, it's going to be bad. I was hoping she'd bring Danzu with her.

That's what I said. I'm one of Shakira's biggest fans. That's all you, man. And I've never heard a single song from her. I just zone out as soon as she comes on the screen.

I really was hoping Danzig would come walking in with burritos at some point. Like, yes. I don't get it. She moves weird, and it looks like she's having convulsions. And for some people, that's sexy.

And to me, it's just like, ooh, put that away. Everything about her should be sexy, but something about it just does not flow. She seems to think she's pretty hot. Give me Kristen Bell. Oh, yes.

So, yeah, that's pretty much what I did. Anyone else? My geek activity has been lacking over the past month. Slacker. Basically just, you know, working and having no life, and that's okay, but.

Well, you've picked up extra work. Yeah, I've picked up extra work, which is, you know, good in some ways, but losing my, I guess, my movie outlet kind of was one reason to change my working situation, so. Not only having as much access as I. Have normally had towards movies and being able to watch them at, you know, nauseam, I've kind of slowed down. I just watch things that I've seen before, but, you know, still love, so I.

Go back over those. That Roger got a girlfriend, so that's why he's not watching movies. Oh. Is that his actual girlfriend, or did he just pay her to be there to trick us all? No, no, it's his girlfriend.

I saw him holding hands. I saw that, too. It's all an elaborate plan. Kind of, you know, had a girlfriend for a while, but, you know, y'all wouldn't know, because I don't tell y'all shit. Keep it on the downloads.

I ain't telling y'all either. Yeah, exactly. I just didn't get her to show up this time. I'm not, you know. But Kick-Ass was like, I'm like, yeah, you should definitely come and see Kick-Ass.

She's like, I'm coming to see Kick-Ass. Just so they know I've got a real girlfriend. I don't give a shit what you want me to do. I'm all for it, man. Good for you.

But that was it. That's my lack of geek activities. We've missed several weeks here, so we've had several weeks to build up some stuff, and I'm sure we've forgotten. Most of what we want. Yeah, we forgot half of it.

We do have a short list. Yesterday, was it yesterday that I partook in the joy and wonder that was Flew Bird Horror. Yeah, it was. That would be a sci-fi original right there starring a whole bunch of nobodies. What a shock.

Yeah, it involved, apparently there was these giant birds. Bluebirds. It's awesome already. But they actually look more like pterodactyls. But they look like Terry the pterodactyl from Pee-wee's Playhouse.

Pee-wee's Playhouse, nice. Baby. I want to be the baby. So yeah, I had to hear that during the movie quite a few times. Oh, wow.

What's that? Because I hovered over top of her. Now my nephew's super in the dinosaur phase. So he will now correct you that usually anything you're looking at, that's not a pterodactyl, that's a pterodon. It's a pterodon.

Duh. Either way. Don't say brontosaurus. It's a brachiosaurus. Duh.

Either way, they never go into why these giant, freakish pterodactyl birds are around. Or that apparently if you get scratched by one of these, that you apparently get the bird flu. Yeah. And it becomes airborne and you spread it around. That all seems normal.

Yeah, it's a big old thing. Are there zombies in this? There's not a few. Nobody that I actually know. That's sad.

They couldn't even pull in a has-been. There's nobody I could even ID in this movie. Yeah, it was one of the lower ranked sci-fi originals right there. And that's saying something. I tried to watch The Mortuary before that, but I couldn't get into it because there was not enough CGI monsters for me.

That's like the new Tubby Hooper. No, this is the remake. The bad, like, recent remake. It's got Denise Crosby in it. For some reason, I remember seeing it listed.

Either way, I gave up. Couldn't watch that. I went out and mowed the yard. I did. I was mowing the yard.

I was like, you know what? I've been putting off mowing the yard. It's going to be a lot more fun than watching this movie. That's sad. We also, a couple weeks ago, we watched The Fourth Kind, which I don't really know what I was expecting when I went into this.

I don't know either. Mila? Yeah, that's pretty much all I was expecting. That's what you were looking for. Come on now.

The Fourth Kind was Mila, and apparently there was aliens involved. Oh, yeah. The Close Encounters. Yeah. It wasn't too bad.

The Abduction. And then there was owls, and they're trying to play, like, here's footage, and this is a reenactment. They're going to blend in the original footage with Mila playing the part. Yeah, they tried to double trick you, but they couldn't double trick me. Oh, you were so fooled.

I was. I was scared. I thought them aliens were going to come get me. They're going to come probe you. Far in the sky.

All I know is the owls are not what they seem. They apparently are not what they seem. They don't lie. I went out and actually, you know, I seeked this one out because I wanted to watch it because we saw that there was the Rift Tracks version, so I finally succumbed to the Twilight Saga New Moon. Sucker.

She watched it without the Rift Tracks. I wanted to go into it. I wanted to know what I was getting into. It's got some of the worst acting ever. Yeah, both of them do.

It's like redonkulous how. Bad the acting is. And her damn twitchy face and the continual pauses. It's just. she can't get through an entire sentence without having to pause for like five or six minutes. And no, it's not dramatic at all.

It's just awkward and stuttery and just her face and it twitches and it's just, uh, it was a train wreck. But then we watched the riff tracks version of it, which was hilarious. Oh my God. That was hilarious and made the movie completely enjoyable. So boyfriends, if you, you know, you don't want to watch twilight, either twilight or new moon, uh, Download Riff Trax.

It makes it hilarious. You'll laugh through the whole movie while your girlfriend's sitting there going. Oh, he's so sweet, Edward Cohen. I don't know. If you have the Riff Trax playing, I'm not sure your girlfriend's going to be that happy.

Well, see, here's the thing. You download it onto your iPod. You sit there with the headphones on and. Be like, this is awesome. Lame as it is, I'm still Team Jacob because he looks way hotter with his shirt off.

Obviously. Oh, yeah. But then I finally broke down and watched in a kind of connected way. Not really. I watched American Werewolf in London.

I watched it too. Werewolves. Werewolves. All right. Yeah, I was not impressed.

I'm sorry. That's crazy, but I respect your opinion. What were your problems with it? See, here's the thing that I was telling her. I haven't seen this movie either.

It's one of those that I just kind of not really put off, but. It was one of those that, oh, you're going to see, you're going to see, you're going to see. There was so much buildup. Yeah, there was so much buildup. Which is always bad.

By the time I finally saw it, I was like, I felt like by the time the movie got going, I was like, yeah, I'm really interested. Then it just ended. And I was like, no! You've got to be kidding me. And I've got to say, the worst damn soundtrack I have ever heard in my entire life.

That music did not fit. In any way. That's what he was going for. It was horrible. Not even in a good way.

Not even in like a. it's good because it's ironic no it just sucked ass it sucked. Yeah it's like somebody said let's go find some uh soundtrack got moons in it and oh i don't know if i. Agree with that's how i operate every week the most excited i got was when i saw a brief i saw bricktop for a second i was like dude bricktop. She identified bricktop and and. The guy from uh fucking the never endings stories uh sydney bromley was in and i got so excited because it's the old the gnome guy from where the sphinxes were and i was excited because.

I'm like super geek it's just another one of those movies that if you haven't seen it all these years it's really hard to pick up and explain to anybody why i've it's good. It kind of is for kids today again I can see people having problems with the pacing now I mean being exposed to movies the way they are now it's done because they had to do it that way you know at the time I've. For years said I thought it was a little bit overrated and I always thought I was saying something shocking by saying that because most people just think it's awesome yeah but I'm not the biggest world's biggest John Landis fan in the world either yeah I mean he's been real hit and miss the movies for. It's time probably had great effects for it's time yeah.

Um, I thought it was good, but like I said, it was one of those things that by the time I got really into it, it ended. And I was just like, God, I want more. Why does this keep going? Keep going? I do really like the big wrap-up in London, so I would see wanting more of that, and it just kind of stops, obviously.

I just want Bricktop to be my cab driver. That's all I want. And she wanted hotter guys in the movie. Apparently the guys weren't hot enough. Yeah, sometimes it's hard for me to get into a movie if there are no attractive guys whatsoever.

I'm superficial like that. I need something to keep me entertained. You don't like David Naughton? He's a pepper, man. I can see David Naughton's kind of special.

Griffin Dunn, you know, in the day was sort of a tolerable guy. Now he's just old. They're both just old now. Yeah, it was not. Wasn't doing it for me.

What's her name that plays the nurse? Oh, the nurse. She's in the front. I've lost her name, but she's so hot. Oh, my God.

And then this is totally separate. Me and the kids sat down yesterday morning and watched the Mystery Science Theater version of Werewolf. From 1999. Nice. Starring a bunch of people that I don't know.

A bunch of werewolves? Yeah, yeah. Apparently the girl in there can't say werewolf. She says werewolf. What do you mean?

There's werewolves? You know. You're like, no, there's werewolves. Yeah, I don't know. It was really bad.

Was Richard Lynch in that one? I don't know who's in it, but I think one of the Sheens is in it, but it's not a famous Sheen. It's like Rene Estevez, isn't it? Yeah, or something like that. I think it is.

It looks like one of them. I think it's Rene. You can tell in the face, but it's like throughout the whole movie they're making fun of like, hey, we're going to make these movies, but we're going to grab like, you know, instead of getting so-and-so, we'll get his. Uncle to play. That's how Hollywood works.

I think that was about it or as much of it as we can remember. Well, it's been a while. Yeah, it's been a while. I told her we needed to make a list while we were watching that way to didn't forget. We failed to we made the list yesterday so we forgot a bunch of shit.

It's pretty bad if you're forgetting stuff too now he's rubbing off. On you he is it's contagious yeah it is alright it's your turn somebody. Else's alright I saw something I really liked this week and it's not going to make you happy because Downey faces him I saw The Runaways how was it? I really liked it really? I can't wait to see Did she do the twitchy, lip-bitey thing a whole bunch?

Because when I saw it on the trailer, that's all they showed. It's Kristen Stewart. That's all she does. I think she basically pulls off Joan Jett, but I think she needed a little extra growl and strut in the onstage scenes. I mean, I can understand if she's just playing... joan as a person because obviously she's not the same person she is on stage joan's still more badass i think she needs yeah she needs a little more energy in the stage things but everybody else is dakota fanning she's amazing see that's all the scenes i saw her just awesome this taylor scott compton is a little role uh playing lita ford and amazingly she looks just like her i don't know if they use makeup or what but it's it's pretty amazing and And then the drummer has kind of a character.

And then one of the other girls was in the runaway, didn't want to have anything to do with the project, so they just kind of ignore her. But who really, really stands out is Michael Shannon as Kim Fowley. He is amazing as a freakish, you know, just asshole of a producer. He's not really a villain in the film per se, but he's definitely part of the conflict. Yeah.

But this is a really gritty movie, the kind of movie I haven't seen in a while. Like we were saying last week, why did Black Waters of Echo's Pond get a wide release and this didn't? Well, that was a piece of shit. But after seeing The Runaways, now I understand why. It's a really gritty movie.

You feel the street. And it's going to make a lot of people uncomfortable because of the age of the characters and even the actors. I mean, Dakota Fanning's 15 and Cherry Curry was 15 when she started in The Runaways. But it involves sex and drugs and all that kind of stuff. Not in an exploitive way.

I mean, this is not for 40-year-old sleazeballs that want to go in and drool over them. It's sort of showcasing how they were exploited, really. But there's an honesty about it. I mean, a lot of this stuff really did happen. And it's...

You know, I was kind of floored by, wow, how did these girls deal with all this kind of stuff at that age? And I really liked the movie. I thought the pacing started to stretch in the third act a little bit. It maybe could be a little tight in there. But, I mean, I have a hard time complaining because I thought the whole film was actually really well done.

Yeah. And I'll want to buy it on DVD. But, you know, I like The Runaways anyway. Oh, yeah. They already had me at Go, you know.

So. But that's really the only thing I watched this weekend. I can't recommend it more. It's not playing in very many theaters out there, but you really need to get out and support it, I think. Very cool.

Even if you don't like Kristen Stewart. Oh, and I don't. I don't either. Her and her twitchy lip-bitey thing. She plays the same.

She's like the same person. Over and over again. It's because that's all she can do. There's no branching out. It's, oh, look at me.

I'm going to bite my lip. But Dakota's awesome, so I'll watch it for Dakota. Yeah. Well, you know, this might help turn you around on her, too, because, I mean, she really looks like Joan Jett in this movie. No, Joan Jett's way hotter.

Oh, I agree. Even now, right now. She captures part of the essence of that character. I'm not buying it. She's such a badass.

It would be hard for anybody to be Joan Jett. I feel sorry for whoever they cast. That's like saying Jason Scott Lee really pulled off Bruce Lee. I thought he did. I thought he was great.

I thought he was horrible. Really? Yeah. I thought he was going to be a big star when I saw that. I did think that.

He went nowhere. He has a lot of charisma. He disappeared. Yeah. That's what he gets for beating out Brandon.

J.J. Scott Lee went into that with a lot of humility. I mean, I even read interviews with him, and he... You know, he was a young actor. He wanted the part because, you know, it's a high-profile part.

But at the same time, he was scared to death, you know, that he would screw that up. You know, he didn't think anybody could do it. Well, no, nobody could. Yeah. Well, you know.

I think he gave it a good shot. He would get the Lee curse. Yeah. He did. He got the Lee curse.

He caught it. He took out his career instead of his life. Yeah. He took out his career. Instead of his life.

And then he was in Jungle Book. Lucky Bastion. All right. I guess that will wrap up the Geek Week. So we will take a break and be back with What's the Buzz?

We're delighted to have you with us and we extend a cordial welcome to you. We've lined up the top stars from Hollywood and from all over the world to entertain you on our giant screen with new colorful motion pictures you've been hearing. About and reading about. To add to your enjoyment, we're all wound up to bowl you over at intermission time with live wire service at our snack bar, where you'll find a tempting variety of favorite foods and beverages. Now it's showtime, folks, and you can be sure it's the best show in town.

Your continued patronage is very, very welcome. A new dimension in shock, like spending a night in the grave. Three of the most macabre experiences ever put on film. Witness the bone-crushing terror in. The Corpse Criders!

Plus... Sinister and terrifying, The Undertaker and his pals. Fiendish and petrifying, The Embalmer. Due to the highly intense and sinister nature of this program, the producers insist that every person in attendance personally sign a Certificate of Assurance. before being admitted into the theater, certifying each patron of sound, mind, and body, and that in the event of a coronary insanity or death suffered due to the program, the producers or theater cannot be held liable in any way. Certificates will be handed out for your signing prior to ticket purchase at the box office by special uniformed attendants.

A nurse is in attendance at the theater providing free blood pressure tests to anyone requesting such. The Corpse Grinders! Undertaker and his pals and the embalmer, the shock of your life. PopSyndicate.com. Your one stop for all your unhealthy obsessions.

Breaking news and in-depth reviews on all of your favorite movies, music, TV shows, podcasts, comics, books. PopSyndicate.com. Hey, hey, come here. Come here. This is Dan Roebuck, and I just want to tell you, you've got to listen.

To Movie Meltdown. That's www.moviemeltdown.com. And if you don't know how to spell movie or meltdown, then you. Don't deserve to listen to it anyway. Oh, you've got to do it.

Repeat after me. A, B, C. Easy as 1, 2, 3. I'll say it when I. Throw up with me.

A, B, C. 1, 2. We're back with What's the Buzz? Groovy. So what is the buzz this week?

Well, we've had like weeks to build up. We haven't done a full-fledged buzz in quite a while. There's a lot of news out there. To me, playing catch-up, I mean, there's only one big one that we kind of missed that I figured we would throw out there. Because, you know, I heard about it last week, but technically, you know, we didn't get a chance to discuss it.

So the fact that it has now been confirmed that Joss Whedon will direct The Avengers. Yeah, how do you guys feel about that? I like that. I'm good. He's written for comic books, you know, I can see him kind of tap into that.

I think it probably will do a lot better if they let some other no-name take it over. Yeah. Or even some people. That's going to be a really hard film to make to please the fans because... Almost everyone feels like all of these Marvel movies are leading up to that.

Like, that's got to be the epic end-all, be-all of comic book movies. But it will be. And I don't think it can be. It'll just be another series, you know. And it's, well, I mean, it's coming out midway through.

It's like, if they're doing all these planned ones, I mean, it's coming out in 2012. So, I mean, they're not going to get everything in before the Avengers comes out. Well, could Pia possibly turn out to be an odd... film for the actors too because robert downey jr is now a huge star yeah and he can't take over the movie that it can't be iron man 3 no it has to be the avengers and in the avengers it's really captain america that's the star so there's a lot of question marks like are they all gonna really step up to the plate and yeah and how's thor gonna turn out and you know who's gonna be in this and who isn't is ed norton gonna show up is he not i mean we don't know any of this. Stuff so who's playing thor.

You know, he's so unfamous, I don't even remember his name. Isn't it Kirk's dad? Captain Kirk's dad. Yeah, that's right. It was Kirk.

Star Trek. I was trying to remember. I was like, I knew I remember they announced it, but nobody was impressed by it. Okay. I was impressed.

He's pretty hot. I could watch that. He's Kirk Sr. Of course you're impressed. Everyone will know his name in a year or so, I guess, after the.

Movie comes out. Hey, speaking of Thor, remember that Incredible Hulk Thor TV show where they had that? Oh, that was hilarious. Where he couldn't figure out the shower. And stuff yeah they brought it was one of the made for TV Hulk movies where they brought Thor in and oh my god that showed everything that is problematic about bringing Thor into reality but they even had Donald Blake in it he was a big beer swilling college frat boy Thor guy oh my god it was bad they brought Daredevil in too to one of those but he didn't have the red costume he just had like a ninja costume or.

Something yeah Gosh, that was terrible. It was. It was bad. So, I don't know. I was a little more concerned on the Joss situation.

Is he done making the most awesomest movie ever? According to him, I guess so. I don't know. Cabin in the Woods, wasn't that it? Oh, yeah.

I'm lined up for that. Oh, yeah. According to him, there won't need to be horror movies after that. He just needs to kind of check that attitude a little bit. He's been bragging quite a bit about this movie.

He wasn't working on a super-duper Buffy movie. You'd think. I mean, you know the market's there. See, I haven't seen anything on Cabin in the Woods, and it's really hard for me to believe it's going to be that awesome based on the title and what that implies in that. That's going to be a cabin in the woods.

I believe it's called Evil Dead. We've seen that. Yeah. But, yeah, the only thing that, I mean, we know as a director he's kind of hit and miss. I mean, he's only done really one big movie, and it's well-received, but, I mean, you know, Serenity was pretty much all he's done for the big screen.

So the only thing that, I mean, he's pretty solid as a writer, and now they're saying he's rewriting the Avengers script. So I think that's probably the most promising news to come out of this. You need a director for something like that that's not so serious about putting their own staple on it, I guess. It almost has to be somebody that will roll with the... You know, because there's so much shit in that.

I mean, yeah, you're going to be combining the work of so many previous directors, plus every star and, you know... Producer, and everyone's going to have their two cents on that. Marvel calling shots from behind the scenes now. Disney, yeah, really running the whole show, so... Yeah, there's so much involved in this, it's going to be kind of hard for anybody to do it.

So, good luck, Josh. I mean, I hope it's good and entertaining, but I can probably tell you right now that it's not going to please the fans the way they want it to. No, I don't think it's possible for it to do everything that it would have. To do to make people happy. Yeah, exactly.

All right, moving on. That was the old one. I figure we better at least throw it out there. The new stuff. Well, the.

The South Park guys did it with movies like Orgasmo and Team America, but now Seth MacFarlane is branching out onto the big screen. MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, and anything Fox has to offer at this point. He's not doing the long-awaited Family Guy movie, which probably is not a good idea anyway, but he's instead making his feature debut with Ted, a hard-R comedy about an adult man and his teddy bear. Anyone? No, I got nothing.

They say further details aren't known about Ted, but they say the concept sounds a lot like the beaver, which is the ridiculous Mel Gibson movie that's coming out. So I don't know if he's. Making fun of that or if this has been in works for longer than that. But something like that is just too hard to call until you see anything yeah i mean because it could be brilliant or it could just be absolutely terrible yeah and it's really hard to call. Well and they're it says it's uh they're producing the live action cgi animated movie so that sounds like trouble anyway i mean if it's not just going to be a straight animated movie Or even a bad CGI movie.

I don't know. He works pretty well in very simple animation. So trying to then get crazy CGI and mesh it with live action sounds like a lot of trouble. I don't know. But he's getting a $ 65 million budget.

So let's hope, you know, he can pull something off. $ 65 million, I would hope so. And of course, not only is he writing the script, but he will be the voice of the teddy bear. Because he does 90% of his voices. Anyway, so. Alright.

The 1999 death of Stanley Kubrick left many of the director's potential projects unrealized, although they did do AI as sort of a tribute. But one of the oldest and unproduced projects was a treatment that Kubrick commissioned noir novelist Jim Thompson to write called Lunatic at Large. Kubrick lost the treatment in his home, though, and it wasn't found until 1999 by his son-in-law after his death. So I guess then they sent it out and started getting people ready to make it because uh now they've already got co-stars and everything uh two of the stars of iron man 2 are attached to star in this version of lunatic at large scarlett johansson and sam rockwell so sam rockwell is a good sign. He's a hell of a good hell of an actor he got screwed on moon this year so it's yeah yeah he's i If he's actually kind of the lead in this, it's promising.

Scarlet looks good, so what are you going to do? That's her saving grace. She can be terrible. Yeah, she's not always the best, but she looks good. I thought that movie was just about her boobs.

Most movies are just about her boobs. That's all you need, really. She does have fantastic boobs. You can't argue that. I thought the spirit was just a boob.

That's what it looks like. So, yeah, this story is set in 1956 New York, and it's the relationship between an ex-carnie with anger management issues and a nervous but attractive barfly. There are no such thing as carnies with anger issues. They're the most peaceful people I've ever met. That's how you get to be a carnie, isn't it?

You get bumped out of real jobs for the rest of your life, and then you're a carnie. It just happens. That one Carney who's always at the fair is my favorite. He sounds just like Tom Waits. That is awesome.

He's there every year. And I would expect everybody that works at the fair to sound like Tom Waits, really. Doesn't that seem fitting? Why isn't Tom Waits a Carney? Well, he is, kind of.

Yeah, he's a Carney of his own career, really. What time is it? It's time for you to come play this game. That's not right at all. So, yeah, I don't know.

That's still pretty far off. But just interesting that they're still picking up more Kubrick projects. Anything that somehow even came in contact with them, it's, you know, anybody can grab a hold of it and put it out. It gives it that tie that, you know, at least people will take notice of. Sure.

I can see that. Kind of weird that they're still mining his old stuff that was lost in his house, actually. We have the remakes next. Oh, God. Do we need remakes?

The remake of A Clockwork Orange. It'll happen someday. God help us. Especially now that you've said that, I hope you're happy. Okay, so I saw this story, and it reminded me of many things that have been annoying over the last few years, but one of which that mostly makes no sense.

Chris Rock is funny. I think most of us can agree he's a funny guy. No, it's just as a comedian, as a guy, he's a funny dude. Why is it so damn hard for him to make a good movie? Because he makes crap, and we all know it.

I mean... But I think I hadn't noticed he's been building his career now out of comedy remakes. And I think I'd forgotten about how many there were. So, yeah, it gets ridiculous when you start running them down. First, there was Down to Earth, the Warren Beatty ripoff, which was almost exactly stealing from, you know, that movie. followed by I Think I Love My Wife, which I don't think I realized was originally a French movie that he stole and put in here.

Now, this weekend, we've got Death at a Funeral. Now, I've been wanting to bitch about this for a while now, and this isn't so much bitching about him as our country as a whole. Death at a Funeral was a British movie. Here comes Brian's fear of black people again. No, I could care less about that.

It's America. Why are Americans so stupid? It's bad enough we can't watch a foreign film. And I'm the first to say, okay, reading's hard. I understand.

But if it's a good movie, most people should have sense enough to just watch a movie. So it's bad enough when they have to take, like. You know, foreign language films and transfer them into a cheesy American version for us to be able to stomach them. But Death at a Funeral is a British movie. It's in English, for God's sakes, and they had to remake it for American.

Movie, Ghostbusters. Audiences. Well, yeah, they had to put American-style jokes in it. They've got to spoon-feed people because they're. Not smart enough.

It looks like a Tyler Perry movie. It does, but I mean, it's like they're crossing over. It's like they're taking what was successful about the other movie, cramming in every black actor we can come up with, and just, you know, rehashing. They haven't took the white guy, so they're all set. Well, yeah.

I guess I feel a little bad for Chris Rock, because, you know, there are a lot of really, really talented comedians in Hollywood. that whenever they make a film, the films are just total crap, and it's almost like they have no choice. That's the only thing that they can get made. That's what seems to happen, but why he's taking these projects, I don't know. This has taken me 10 years to come there, but I'm finally convinced that Jimmy Fallon is actually very talented and intelligent, but his movies are the worst movies you could possibly ever make. Yeah.

Oh, but he just can't make a good movie. He's just an awkward performer is his problem. He works best as himself, actually. So, I mean, he works best when Tina Fey writes. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

But I mean, even then he can't get it out. Like, go watch any clip. She is obviously really talented, but her movies basically usually suck. I mean if she's in a theatrical film if she's acting in them if she writes them you know Mean Girls is awesome and that's because she wrote it it's like she can write an amazing script but yeah you just stick her I'm talking about when she's in a film stick her in a bad movie like the one that just came out you know a week ago with Steve Carell it's gonna be bad Steve Carell is someone I'm convinced who isn't talented at all. I'm kind of with you on that I hate that I know most of the country doesn't side with me but I just yeah I'm not sold on him I'm.

Voting for you with that one because I hate him I'm not. Sold on him so this one yeah it's so frustrating with Chris Rock because I think he's funny I think he's a hell of a comedian and even his TV show is funny but when it comes to movies he can't touch one and it doesn't just turn to shit I don't understand And he continues... Eddie Murphy's been. In that same boat. No, because he started off with good movies.

Oh, absolutely. I don't know if Chris Rock was ever really in. I mean, he's been a side character in a few tolerable movies, but anything he's been a lead in has been pretty bad from the get-go. Yeah, he's no Beverly Hills cop. Yeah, so there was nothing to sort of carry him.

He's a lethal weapon for. My point exactly. Still no Beverly Hills cop. So, yeah, once again, he's headed down the same road. The next remake that Chris Rock is attaching himself to, and now he's almost crossing a line, because at least before he was just taking cheesy comedies and ripping them off.

This next one is High and Low, the 1963 classic Japanese kidnapping thriller directed by Kurosawa. How are you going to fucking take Kurosawa and make it a bad. Chris Rock movie? I don't understand. There are ways.

You'll find a way. And on top of that, they're getting a real director. Mike Nichols is directing this. Holy shit. It's going to be the worst movie ever.

What the hell is going on here? I mean, he's a name, and they're going to throw Chris Rock in the middle of it. On top of that, it continues to get worse. I assume that this is going to be some kind of dramatic... thing that he's gonna try. I guess but i mean even on on top of that there he's rewriting this movie and i.

Hope it's not then turn out one of those movies where mike nichols is thinking you know what i'll think i'll try i'll try comedy and chris rock is on the other side going you know what i think i'll try drama and then you know that happened to like john carpenter and chevy chase and then Invisible Man movie. Wow. And this has happened before with Wes Craven and Eddie Murphy and that vampire thing where the director and the actor are thinking two different things and then the movies just turn out really bad. Which one was that? Vampire in Brooklyn?

Yeah. God, I love that movie. It's so horrible. It's awesome. It's so bad.

I love that movie. Atrocious. It was one of those movies where Wes Craven's like, you know, I'll try to be funny. And Eddie Murphy's like, I think I'll try to be serious. That movie's horrible.

It's so uncomfortable to watch, but it's so funny. Sometimes you can't cross over, and you have to realize that. But this one, no, it's even more weird because Chris Rock is rewriting this movie, and he's rewriting it after he's replacing David Mamet. Pulitzer Prize winner, David Mamet. Well, yeah, nobody needs him.

Why? Man, I actually think David Mamet is one of the best writers for dialogue and stuff out there. He is. If you're rewriting him, you need to go see a doctor because, you know, something's wrong with what you're thinking if you're rewriting him. I don't know what to think of this movie.

How many train wrecks can ram into each other? I don't know. More. So, yeah. I'll fix that mammy piece of shit.

Yeah, really. I'll make him funny. We'll punch this thing up. That's what we need. Oh, Lord.

So. Okay, Misty, what if I told you? Oh, no. They're making a Guns N' Roses biopic. Nice.

Starring Jamie Foxx. What? What? What? No, wait, what?

Okay, that's all bullshit. It's not April 1st. Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx is teaming up with 20th Century Fox Animation on a closely guarded animated musical project called Welcome to the Jungle.

Oh, what? Yes. Welcome to the Jungle, baby. You're gonna die. There you go.

I've been in love with Axl Rose since I was 12. Even nowadays? He's freaking creepy. Yeah. But he still has a special place in my heart.

The creepy place in my heart. Behind the stuffed animal pile in the closet. Next to the white snake poster. I gave you my white snake poster. I know.

I think I'm going to hang it up again. It's pretty fucking awesome. You totally should. It was awesome. It's awesome.

So, yeah, I don't know. No details yet on Welcome to the Jungle, but the tagline is, Life is a jungle and welcome to it. Yeah, this is going to be bad. It's basically Madagascar. That's what they're saying.

It's just going to be similar to Madagascar. And it's even scarier because Jamie Foxx is producing, starring as the voice talent, and writing original music for Welcome to the Jungle. The only thing more ridiculous is that he's also working with Malcolm Spellman on a Soul Train movie. That might be cool. From what I've.

Heard, Axel's prone to fits of violence. He's going to go off on Jamie Foxx. I'm waiting for it. I want to see Axel just go wailing on him because he's not right in the head. We've all seen him do that before.

That's what I'm saying. I'm like, dude, this is your good opportunity, and I'm sure nobody would hold it against you on this one. This is all premeditated. Not many people can say they beat the hell of an Oscar winner. Go for it, man.

What the hell? I'm telling you. He's got to stay relevant somehow. He'll be busy working on his next album for the next 20 years. It's coming out though.

It is coming out. It's coming out. Don't you worry. God help us. Oh, I forgot to mention something that you probably know about too.

They canceled your favorite show. Oh, Lawman? Steven Seagal, Lawman. Oh, that's because he has a lawsuit now because he hired some girls to be sex slaves. They're all coming out of the closet.

Yeah, hired these Russian assistants and then His other assistant is filing sexual harassment charges. And he made Jenny McCarthy cry. He apparently had this bevy of women that he would bring them in and hire them as personal assistants. And they had to sign all these confidentiality waivers and then they walked into the room with all the whips and chains and gimp suits and everything. They had to be at his.

Beck and call 24-7. They were basically there to satisfy his sexual urges. And get him cheeseburgers. Yeah. Did he eat cheeseburgers off their naked bodies?

One girl that he hired decided to come out and say all this. Now there's going to be a big lawsuit because, you know, she signed a confidentiality agreement. We're not supposed to talk about that. But, you know, we all know that Seagal, in his real life, is there to protect the people of Jefferson Parish. Yeah.

No matter how many hookers I've got to bang. He's there to eat all their cheeseburgers. Our Russian brides. Do me a favor and dress up like a cheeseburger. Would you rub this bacon grease on you?

Wow. No, I didn't know it had been canceled. I think it's on hold indefinitely. How can you go on portraying a police officer when you've got this shit going on? Seriously.

I think the Jefferson Parish, they took his badge from him. After 20 years? That's what I heard. I heard they recalled his badge. Maybe I'm just making that shit up.

I knew that. Well, the one thing I am looking forward to is, I don't know what party he's playing, but he's in Machete. which is going to have a trailer here pretty soon. It's got a release date. It's coming out on Labor Day, I think. Oh, Danny Trejo kicks his ass.

I want to see Danny Trejo kick Steven Seagal's ass. Please do. And you know that if he hired him, he has to have done that. So that should be fun. Only breaking news.

On the way over here on the radio, they said they're casting the biopic for Kurt Cobain. And they've announced that. They're... Too soon. They're leaning...

Yeah, it is. It's not going to be Zac Efron. Nobody's going to go into that. Oh, I hope so. I kind of wish it would because that would be such a train wreck.

No, this is just going to be bad because they said they're leaning towards Robert Pattinson. Oh, fuck. What the hell? As soon as you said that, his face flashed to me. Yeah.

Who? The glittered, sparkly vampire. You just watched this bastard. He's going to play Kurt Cobain? Yeah.

He doesn't look like Kurt Cobain. Is Kurt Cobain in that sparkle? He's British. No, I say it's the worst casting, but wait, there is. The worst?

The worst casting would be his co-star in this movie. It's not going to be Downey Faces. No, no. Even worse. This is like.

It's not going to be Jamie Foxx. Because she... I hope so. That in itself will be really funny, actually. Compared to this, because this just pisses me off because Courtney Love is.

Overseeing all this bullshit. Is she going to play herself? No, no. But, I mean, this is like fucking dream casting on her part. She's uh getting scarlett johansson yeah that's what are.

You out of your fucking mind it's like i cast this movie before you even said it can we get matthew lillard to play dave growl wouldn't that be. Awesome girls actually signed on he's got a he's got a hand in this i'm surprised because he's so pissed at her though that i'm surprised he wants anything to do with it but Make sure she doesn't fuck him up too much. Scarlett Johansson's going to have to look really coked up. I know. They're going to have to beat the hell out of her first.

They're going to have to bruise her up. Courtney Love, that didn't look anything even close to Scarlett Johansson. Not even when she was young. She was still scary. So yeah, they're just going to have to beat the hell out of her.

That's Oscar type stuff. Her monster performance. Still, even though Robert Patrickson is Kirk whatever the. Fuck his name is. I know, I like saying it wrong to piss off Twilight Girls.

Yeah, whatever. Dumbass. Alright, big chin. It doesn't look like Kurt Cobain at all. It's like you ran into a wall repeatedly.

Yeah. You can't play Kurt Cobain pick somebody else come on be realistic about it that's what I'm saying that's just. Well who would you cast as Kurt Cobain who would. I cast as Kurt Cobain I don't know but you know the guy from Lost the little short guy with the beard kind of looking thing he looks closer to Kurt Cobain than he does you. Know oh and still a better actor than that still a.

Better actor yeah you know. Kurt Cobain I think somebody like gosh what's the guy's name that's in Sons of Anarchy Oh, gosh. Yeah, that one guy. Yeah, the guy that plays the son in that show. I'm going with Ron Perlman.

Yeah, Ron Perlman. Yeah, that's who I was thinking of. Yeah, Katie Seagal. Katie Seagal playing... I'd.

Still rather see that. Katie Seagal's a good actress. Either way, it's going to be a train wreck. Yeah, trouble. I love those rock bio movies, but that one doesn't sound good to me.

It sounds terrible. Oh, I hate bio movies usually. Oh, no. If you're going to have something that's going to be as huge as that movie, and you've got to understand, I mean, most people do, that Nirvana was such a huge influence on a lot of kids. To take that and to half-ass cast it and just kind of throw it out there for money.

It doesn't matter who you cast. Those kind of movies are really hard to make. Like the Doors movie, for example. Which I actually think is pretty good. Yeah, I thought it was pretty decent.

He got close. I mean, that's as close as you can get to tomorrow. Especially Doors fans hate that movie. And they're really tough to do. I mean, how do you portray these characters without over-heroizing them?

You've got to make them larger than life because, frankly, most of the time their lives are not that exciting. Right. Well, we've had good examples lately. I mean, Joaquin did a hell of a job, and he's a crazy motherfucker, but he's. A good actor.

You're talking about his rap movie? Yeah, yeah, his rap movie. And even Jamie Foxx. I mean, as much as we want to make fun of him, because he is a dork, he's good in that movie. I mean, he turned in a good performance.

He is a good actor. So, I mean, you can. Come up with good casting. This is not it. Keep looking.

They said it wasn't official yet, so I'm hoping they come to their senses. I don't know. Keep it unofficial. Get that Gordon Levitt kid. He's going to be in everything for the next couple of years.

Get somebody. At least he's a serious actor. Anybody other than Pattinson and his damn wall face. He kind of reminds me of the moon man in the McDonald's Mac tonight commercial. When's his biopic coming out?

I figured it out. I know who should play Kurt Cobain. Oh, God. Garth Brooks. Garth Brooks.

Mark Brooks. He's too old. Oh, no, he's not. He does the Chris whatever with the. Hair and stuff.

Oh, the Chris. Chris Gaines. Chris Gaines. There you go. Mark Brooks.

Chris Isaacs. Yikes. I have no part of this. Wowzers. All right.

So, yeah. I guess we should take a break. All right. So, we will invite you back to come back with part two this week as we head out on the town and see Kick-Ass. Seth Green.

He's short. He is short. Put some long hair on him and a little bit of a face. I think given time, he'll be a real actor. This is his chance.

Oscar role right here. I still want to see Elijah Wood play Iggy Pop. I'm still stoked about that. Is that happening? It was in the works.

I don't know. I haven't heard anything recently. You mean Johnny Depp didn't snatch up on that one? Why didn't he? Johnny gets everything else.

Yeah, I see that. He's working on the Anthony Kida story. God, I don't want to see that. Is Tim Burton. Going to do that?

Yeah, Tim Burton's going to do that. I don't want to see that. Tim Burton's the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I just see Johnny with his shirt off going, give it away, give it away, give it away, give it away now. Or his junk in a sock.

Yeah, yeah. Chicks would line up to see that. He does that anyway. He's in France. He just walks around like that all day.

And eats cheese. And eats cheese and drinks wine. It's France. That's what they do. And carries baguettes.

Are we going to save Johnny for the Doctor Strange movie? Just kidding. It's got to be a Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Doctor Strange movie. That's my fantasy project. There's so many of them.

Alright, so yep, we will invite you to come back for part two as we head out on town and watch Kick-Ass. Yay! Rape me again I'm not the only one Nuh uh uh uh I'm not the only one Hate me. Do it and do it again. Waste me Taste me my friend I'm not the only one.

I'm not the only one. My favorite inside source. I'll kiss your open source. Thank you. Appreciate your concern.

You always stink and burn. Rape me. Rape me, my friend. Come on. Rape me.

Rape me again and again and again. Everybody. Rape me. Put your hands together. Rape me again.

R-A-P. Is Robin also to be. Eliminated by the wizard's men? Will Thornton be forced to reveal his valuable secret? Be sure to.

See Batman Threat, the fourth action chapter of Batman and Robin, at this theater next week. This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro. With opening music performed by the Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.