Episode 55 - The Costume Party

Weird media. Hi, misters, you see that guy with it now? He's an actor a phone. I'm a driver. I'm the only camp driver in his place.

Good evening and welcome tonight mister Walter's a Taxi podcast. I'm HP, your co host, and with me as always is my co host, Father Malone. Father Malone, how are you this evening? HP? What's your favorite Andrews sisters Son?

Well, that's an interesting question, Father Malone, and we're going to delve into that as we discuss Taxi Season three, episode ten, The Costume Party, written by David Lloyd and directed by James Burrows. Reminder, we're doing these shows in broadcast order and not an order of filming, Father Malone. Before we start, another page out of your book, I like to call things out behind the scenes, items that are of interest. I want to give a shout out to Subcarpathia in Poland. Have you ever heard of Subcarpathia fa them alone?

No? You know? Well, when the last episode of Night Mister Walters dropped, we had a spike in downloads from Subcarpathia in Poland. We had some I believe it was close to one hundred downloads in one day, which is which pretty significant. Seems we might have a new listener in Poland.

Father Malone. I don't know who you are out there and podcast land, but listener and Subcarpathia, thank you very much. Keep listening. We appreciate it. You know.

That's the thing. I love a good glumpkey. I'll say that too. Also, I was just talking on my show about actor Ivan Strahovski. She's Australian but obviously a pride of Poland.

Polish women are fucking gorgeous. I just want to throw that out to you Poland, whoever you are in Poland. She certainly is gorgeous. I've known many beautiful Polish women. Thank you.

M You know what's kind of funny when I was following along your your weekly round up, I was following along with it on the transcript. You know, I don't know if you realize this, but every time you say Ivan Strahowski, it transcribes it as Ivan Strahowski. So if someone's just reading, they might think you're obsessed with somebody named Ivan Strahovski. But be I'll tell you something. If Ivan Strahovsky looks like Ivan Strohovsky, I am obsessed with that.

Bravo. We open Father Alone on a b roll shot of Square. It's it's a slow zoom in as we see dozens of cabs streaming down the avenue. I'm not sure we might have seen this in an other episode, this very shot, but I think it was a beautiful shot. Beautiful shot.

We've seen a lot it, I figured, and they have some weird process going on where where they're stepping in, there're zooming in I think further than the actual zoom because it gets all blurry and weird. It's like when on your phone, when you do when you zoom passed like the optical part of it and it becomes a digital zoom. Of course they didn't have digital zooms back then, but it fuzzies the image because you're it's a fake kind of zoom. I think you're right about this, So we cut inside the garage. From that b roll shot is an old timer hands in his booking envelope to Louis.

This was a delightful sequence, Father Malone. This is something we don't see very often, a cabby that actually has some agency in the show, who's not one of the main cabbys. This is an old timer named Maxy Melcher and boil Boy. Does he ever look like a Maxi Melcher, doesn't he? He?

Sure does. I know this actor well from a few things, honestly, but very recently. He was in an episode of Tales from the Dark Side called The Last Car about a bunch of people trapped in a train car that never really stops and it's constantly going through tunnels. So I knew him from that, and I knew him from one other thing I can't remember. He it does look very familiar.

I didn't know who he was, nor did I really look him up. But he's wonderful inness. He's very deadpan, and he's got a playoff of Danny DeVito, who I think is delighted to be playing in this scene. In fact, I've seen some bloopers of the sequence and actually goes on longer than I'm going to describe, but literally, Danny DeVito couldn't get through the scene because he's just laughing so hard at this actor's deadpan expression as he's talking about him. Upon seeing the booking envelope, Louis comes over the pa his microphone to announce that someone special is retiring today after forty one years at Sunshine cab And as I said, this old timer's name is Maxy.

Melcher Louis says, it's customary to present them with a gift to help them track the passage of time. And he presents Maxy with this flimsy calendar that he's just kind of pulled out of nowhere, and it's all crumpled up. It's awful. It shoves it through so like totally indignity upon indignity, because it's supposed to be a watch. It's not.

It's a it's an old, faded calendar that he then just jams through the cage to him. That there's a hole where people hand him their envelopes, and he just shoves it through this little slot, rendering it completely crumpled up and and and just in no good condition. It's it's really a funny funny. He's the head of one of the families and the Godfather. That's right?

Is that so? Really? Yes? In the original God I swear to God. That's a that's a great call.

Fot alone, great compositive. It's him, that's awesome. I'll have to I'll chase that up. So after this little sequence plays out, the cabbies all give Maxie a round of applause, and as Maxie prepares to give a speech it's a Louis comes in. He callously basically cuts him off and sends another indignity on this this old this old guy who's spent his whole life working at Sunshine cab and Maxi ends up leaving the garage with the small wave and and that's it for Maxi.

Louis, however, he has his newspaper in hand, and he announces to Jeff that he'll be in the library if anyone needs him. I love a good metaphor for for for using the bathroom, and you know, in the library with the newspaper is a great one. No I disagree, but go ahead. I just it's so I love it here because it's so Louis. It is very Louis.

I agree. And that's probably the best way he's going to describe that act. That's the nicest company version. Yeah, it's just He delivers it with a smirk and goes away. Elaine and Alex are sitting at the card table.

They watch him walk away with benign amusement as Bobby's. My favorite Elaine outfit by the. Ways tell what she's wearing. It's vaguely Annie Hollish, it's it's it's the button down shirt with the tie, yeah, with the useless tie untied sort of hanging, and slacks. So it looks like she's going to a business meeting, but but she owns the business.

Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. Bobby becomes in. Bobby talking about stylistic choices. This is a doozy. He's wearing a purple sport coat and matching pants that would make the Joker proud.

I don't know where they're getting his style. I mean it used to be just slap on a leather coat and a shirt button unbuttoned to the navel and he's good to go. Now he's like, it's just wacky. He looks like Willy Wonka kinda. Yeah.

I don't know what they're doing with Bobby anymore. It's clear that the writings on the wall right it is. But the interesting thing is, and we're going to get into this, but he's very good in this I in this episode. If you told me this episode was a season two episode, I would have believed you, because he gets a lot to do. It's not as if you get the sense that he's getting pushed out the door, like they're giving him busy work.

For lack of phrase, I'm not necessarily saying that, I'm saying stylistically speaking, they've given up on Bobby's character like that. At least that side of the production team has given up already on Jeff Conaway, and maybe he's a problem. It could be. I mean, I could also very easily see him trying to assert himself a little bit. I mean, he's been on this show for three years.

He's one of the top build actors. You could see him going in and saying, hey, you know what, I'm tired of the leather jacket. This is Bobby. He's a style guy. He's trying to be an actor.

Let's put him in some cool stuff, you know. I could see him doing that, throwing his way aroun a little bit. I maintain that at anytime we see Bobby in a different outfit, it's because Jeff Conway has just arrived on set and they managed to get makeup on him and then push him in front of the camera. Bobby furtively lays a leather suitcase on the card table, and he's very wary of everything. That's going on.

He tells Alex and Elaine to act natural. Elaine says, like over a briefcase, what are you talking about, to which Bobby replies, this isn't just any briefcase. You see. Bobby, as he does, was cruising the Broadway District looking to make acting contacts when one of his fares left the briefcase behind in the cab andish. Don't you think don't you think he should always be cruising the Broadway District?

You're right, he does say, I think. He says something like, it's Wednesday, so I was cruising the Broadway District. Yeah, you're right, you're right. Don't you think, like just twenty four hours a day, just like hitting it? Like?

You know? That could be the argument with Louie, like what this much? Like? I don't care I made this contact today. I don't give a shit how much how many fars I brought in for you?

Yeah, you would figure that would be his top priority. But he's logging all this down from my reboot of Taxi. I want to plug all these holes before we get there. Oh, someday, father Blone, we're going to have our discussion about you know, if there were a reboot, and there could very well be one one day. I think we should do it animated and we should call it Taxi Babies.

There instead of being in a garage, they're in a daycare. You know, Louis in a like a crib instead of the cage. Yeah, one of those play pens. Yeah, yeah, yeah, playpen that's even better. Yeah, I can see that.

Or should Louis be in a high chair and everyone else is in a play pas, so. He's higher than everybody else. That could be if you can get listeners, If you have any artistic skills and want to send us in some artwork for Taxi Babies, we will definitely feature it. I will feature and I'll make some videos with it. I would love that as long.

My one stipulation is that had not be AI generated, that it would just drive me up a wall. You can. I said, you're good with art, Yes, you have. You have to do the art, not the machine. It doesn't mean you're good with an AI prompt.

You have to you have to have skill with your hands to make something. Now, I really want to see Taxi Babies. Let's get a pitch going. Maybe you know some of these Danny DeVito's always look, you know, he's. Oh my god, you ah, okay, now we've spilled the beans.

Now see that's it. I'll have to cut all this out. Bobby, with this briefcase, he figures that this whoever left it in the cab, must be important to the theater. Bobby is a dummy in this episode. I don't like his portrayal in this episode.

Bobby was getting Bobby was getting pretty cagey there for a little while. I like when he was going up against Louis and he seemed sort of more realistic. I know, he constantly had his let's call them dramatic flare ups where I'm quitting the heck and you all got to talk me back into it, like that kind of thing. But this level of stupid, Like you said, if this were season two, if this were season one, if this were season negative, then I would believe his motivation here. In a in a sense, you could almost look at this through a certain lens as an aspirational episode for Bobby.

Oh, it's definitely an aspirational episode. My man, it's going and it makes Bobby a fucking idiot because it does. Because it's it's like a three it's a I was about to say three Stoo just it's a it's a Three's Company episode. It's a it's a mistaken identity thing. But like anyway, I'm sorry, I'm jumping ahead.

I guess. This discussion attracts Tony and Jim to the table, which is alarming Bobby. He the less heat on this briefcase, the the better, because you know, he's a we'll find out. He's afraid that Louie's gonna discover this, this this briefcase. He doesn't want you to know.

What can I can I say about that? Yeah? He he doesn't want Louie to know because we know Louie will just confiscate whatever's in there. Right, But realistically speaking, a customer has left their briefcase in the back of his cab and he needs to turn that over to the company. If that Copstomer calls.

What Bobby says is he's going to return the briefcase, but he can't find a way to get past the lock, and Tony reminds him that the rule is anything left in a cab goes to Louie, but Bobby in turn replies that anything that goes into Louie's cage vanishes from the face of the earth. So to counter your point, father Malone, it's not as if Louis is going to be the good Samaritan who's going to return the briefcase. If he gets his hands on this, it will be it will vanish from the face of the garage. Right, So right, I know that we know that, you know that Louis knows it, but he does have responsibility. Like if that guy, you know, that guy's gonna call, he's got I thought about it.

I lost my phone recently and I had a fucking full on meltdown, man, Right, And if I could have called, if I could have pointed in any direction, gone, wait, I was definitely there. It might have been in that in there that scenario, then I'm calling. This guy would have called already. Oh yeah, I've lost credit cards, I've lost wallets, and the first thing I do is retrace my steps and call. Like I may be calling a gas station that I spent five minutes in.

I'm calling restaurants. I'm calling stores that babe I walked in. Maybe I didn't. So I agree. If I were this guy who lost the suitcase, I'd be frantic, and I would remember, Hey, I was in that cab, Well that was a Sunshine cab.

I'll call the cab company, but we're not quite there. I lost my wallet at a stationary store in Revere, Massachusetts, and then drove to Situate, realized I didn't have my wallet, called said stationary store in Revere and they had it and I had to drive back. Oh that sucks. How long of a drive was that for you? It's and a half hours each oy.

Tony says, well, in that case, we're just going to have to bust the lock on the case. But Bobby again doesn't want to damage it. He elaying figures that Locka is a mechanic. He probably has a tool that will do the job, which is actually Elaine, once again proving that she's maybe the most logical member of the crew. I'm surprised Alex didn't come up.

With that brains too, that's right gorgeous. So they go over and ask Loca and very he's very nonchalant. He says, hey has just the right tool. He goes back to his toolbox. You just see him rustle around and they're all waiting for him, and then he he comes running over holding a giant sledgehammer over his head, screaming like a madman, and they all manage to stop Loka creating a near perfect ewo Jima tableau because they're holding they're they're they're they're holding up the sledgehammer from getting brought down on this on the briefcase.

And that's when louis back, and in fact, he actually makes a joke about the eweo Jima thing, which I thought was kind of funny. Do you love a tableau? Hb I love a good tableau like it's usually it's something like the last Supper. That's probably the most common tableau in a movie or a TV show. What are some of your other favorite tableaus?

Follow up? The only good part of that horrible Brian Singer directed Superman Returns is when Superman picked up the car and recreated the cover of Action Comics. You're right, and I agree with you on that that's maybe the only good thing about that whole. Movie, really right a lot, It is literally the only good thing. It's great, but it ain't worth the rest of the whole movie to get there.

I've been thinking about that in light of the Superman movie and how how terrible. That was. Bobby declares to Louis that he found the briefcase in his cab and you're not getting it, Louis. Louis tells him, we'll just open up the briefcase and find out who whose it is. And Louis says he can open it to a Bobby just scoffs at him.

He just dismisses it. Now. I love this part too. I know I say that a lot, but this I thought this was like a Fonsie moment for Louie. Right.

Louie looks the briefcase over, he picks it up, he turns it around, carefully, looks at it all these angles, and he puts it down. He slaps it Phonsie style in a certain spot, and the briefcase just pops open, and it's an amazing bit of physical comedy. I don't know how they got this briefcase to open in just such a fashion, because what happens is when Bobby lunges for it at that moment, but Louis slaps it closed before he can get his hands inside of it. And then Bobby picks up the briefcase and starts slapping it in all these random spots and nothing happens, So I ask. I mean, it's probably some silly mechanism that's obvious, but I don't know how.

Louise slaps it delicately bo it pops open, but then Bobby slaps it all over the place and it doesn't open. What do you how do you think they worked this thing? Father below? Well, it's a mechanism inside the case, and I think I think it's a remote control. Honestly, it might be something as simple as a magnet and you touch it with the magnet, or you touch it underneath with the magnet, so you can't see them touching it from underneath with the magnet and it snaps open.

Because this whole thing sort of ends with Louis kind of going finger gun and cachow and it popping open, so clearly that there is a mechanism at the table that they can use to make it pop open that way. Also, I love a scene like this too. I'm with you, by the way, the the examining kind of and then finding the weak spot and remember jan Epstein trying to figure out how to open the correct of the Yeah, no, the the cursor pew when they were stuck in the tomb in the museum. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. If you hit the door at a certain thing and he does a dance basically and he's kicking the door, and yeah, I love all of that kind of shit.

It's so well done here, and it's basically dialogue free because it's really a battle of wills between Bobby and Louie, and Louie is the calm customer who knows he can open this thing up. And in fact, like you said, the best part is that this happens a couple more times where he taps it and it opens, but he closes it before Bobby can get to it. But the final thing he does is like you say, he doesn't even touch the briefcase. He just does a finger gun pal shoots it and the thing pops open. It's like it looks like magic.

I like your idea of the magnet. That's probably that's probably a good guess as any as to how this thing actually worked. Well, let's not forget that this was also the time of magical television characters. Mister Rourke clearly a magician. Phnsie Phonsie is a warlock obviously.

See I think mister Rourke is the Warlock because mister Rourke there's always that hesitance see whether he's actually like a demon or angel, because some of these wishes that he grans. De angel to others, he'll tear your soul up. Pot. Do you think mister Rorke is the inspiration for Pinhead? Do you think Pinhead is mister Rourke after he went to hell?

Well, didn't Pinhead? Wasn't that his line too? Smiles? Everybody smiles before he kills you with the blades that come out. You know.

By the way. The physical comedy that I like a side of the pop and open Briefcase is the speed and ferocity with which Louis is able to close and snap the locks closed on the briefcase every time. It's great and not and and and they've obviously worked it out because I think if I were involved in the scene playing Bobby's role, I would definitely have lost my fingers. It's so tightly choreographed, and as a as a viewer, it's that's all transparent. You don't think about that, but it's so it goes off without a hitch.

Like you said, I would have lost a finger also because the way he slams it shut it's so quick and so sudden. Finally, after this goes on for another minute or so, Louie demands ten bucks to open the briefcase and Bobby finally he obliges, and this is when Louie air shoots the suitcase of the briefcase open and Bobby shoots Louis away. Now he's got his ten bucks. Now it's it's Bobby's time to look through the briefcase. But Louie can't leave.

He has He's like an addict. Follow this so good, This is so good. He plays it so well. He has to have something out of the suitcase just it doesn't matter what it is. He's like feeling something.

He must have it. Bobby compromises by giving him a pen from the briefcase, which Louie holds it up like it's this shiny bobble. He's like, look, it's a pen, and he goes over and shows it to Jeff and the cage. Look it's my pen. It totally satisfies him and he goes away.

Do you know that kleptomania is like ninety female? I think I heard that somewhere. I don't know where I would have heard that, but that is peculiar. I don't know what to chalk that up to. Apparently Louis is part of the ten percent.

I guess, I don't know. They start going through the briefcase. The first thing that Bobby pulls out is a picture of Stephen Sondheim, and then Elaine pulls out a picture of Paul Newman, and they both feature the same unknown person in the picture with these famous people, which they reason must be the owner of the briefcase. Alex finds an appointment book which contains stuff like lunch with l Strasburg, which Bobby says must be Lee Strasburg Wednesday, lunch with Liza, which there must be Isaza Minelli, of course. And then Bobby also finds an autographed picture of Carry Grant.

So there's all this evidence that points to the briefcase owner being some big ol' muckety muck in the theater in some way show business. Tony wonders who the guy is. Bobby says, maybe a producer, maybe an agent. Then Alex has to you know, he has to be the pin that pops the balloon. He says, Oh, he's a real estate agent.

He produces a business card for somebody named Neil Zackerman from Zacherman real Estate. They all figure that maybe this guy specializes in selling real estate to famous people, which is logical conclusion to draw. Tony asks what Neil Zackerman is doing later in the week, and Lane looks in the date book and reads Woody's costume party Saturday night. Again, this is you already called Bobby a dummy, and this is really where that shines through. Bobby says that.

I mean everyone's a dummy here, clearly, but Bobby. But Bobby should know better. Alex should really know better. Bobby should definitely know better. According to Bobby, this must be one of Woody Allen's famous parties.

According to Bobby, this is an annual tradition for Woody Allen and all the most famous people in the world show up. I've never heard of this, fought them alone. I think this is he's inventing this to get the cab He's going. I don't know what's what his game is here. Well, maybe in the world of taxi Woody Allen has a famous costume party.

Perhaps they've heard about Hefner's soires. Oh yeah, Orry. Hill's going on, And but this is said in New York. So they that's their equivalent. Yeah, it just seems Woody Allen is an odd choice because I always thought of Woody Allen as being a very private celebrity who wouldn't host a party of this nature.

But whatever, it's the world of taxi. You know, who would have done this as Stephen Sondheim would have done it, Tony Perkins, and they would have turned it into a big old fucking murder mystery. They like, I'll tell you what I would have loved would be at that party? You kidding me? With Stephen Sondheim, the gi God.

Yeah, you know, people talk about time travel like fucking events they want to go to. I want to go to one of Stephen Sondheim's murder mystery parties in the nineteen seventies. Jesus Christ. Seriously, I mean, we're getting on a tangent here, But I think I told you I watched a video. There was a video on YouTube of Stephen Sondheim.

He was giving basically teaching a chorus to some theater students in England, and they were running through a scene from a Company from his show Company, which is obviously one of my favorites anyway, and these are just you know, essentially theater majors. These aren't like serious actors or anyone of any import. But it didn't matter to Stephen Sondheim that gracious motherfucker is stopping them, telling them to emphasize certain lines, giving them tips on how to your breath control for these these songs that he's written. It was just so heartwarming to see somebody like Stephen Sondheim who didn't have to give a shit about any of this. He's direct these kids like he's directing Dean Jones in company.

I thought it was wonderful, But anyway, I digress. Elaine says she's never read, she never heard about this Woody party thing, that that doesn't make any sense, like I said, But Bobby says, Woody keeps it a secret to keep out the crashers. Now, this is when a light bulb starts to form above the Cabby's heads. Elaine makes the point that outside of the other invited guests, they may be the only ones who know about this party, and since it's a costume party, fa them alone, no one will know who they really are. And then after one is no one is prepared that there's the entire cab company is going to end up at the in the at the end of it, I said, here, you think there is something freaky in store for you.

That's right. They're they're they're the entire time, they're given like secret passwords. They don't understand that they're being that they're being uh tested, you know, one by one they're taking one by one they're taken away. And in the middle of it is Reverend Jimmy Ignotowski in no costume, just wandering amongst all the masked perverted acts going on. I love where your head's at with this.

This is fantastic. After a moment or two of this light bulb moment, Elaine announces that she's going to be Scarlett O'Hara, and Bobby says, it's like it's like they've planned this. Bobby, without even hesitating, says he's going to be Serra. No, it's like he's had that cute in his mind. Yeah, obviously in her too.

They like this is their costume, Like they've been waiting their whole lives of the opportunity. You know, you've probably got you probably got one, I've got one, We've all got one. Tar Man tar Man from Return of Living Dead. If I could do that costume right now, I fucking would man. I'd go running.

I'd run around the streets of Las Vegas right now. It's the tar Man. I have so much fun. The only one out of this group that's not convinced is naturally, it's Alex, who worries that they're going to look foolish if they're caught. Bobby tries to convince him, because it'll be contact city.

For Bobby, this is big shot again. He's cruising the theater district. This is his big shot at actually making some real contacts in the theater. But then Alex correctly points out that they don't need him to go. They can just go themselves.

It doesn't them going to the party doesn't hinge on Alex's participation. But Tony's counter and actually for a dummy that I thought this was actually kind of funny. He says, well, if Alex goes, then it won't be so nuts for the rest of them to go, So it's not that they need him for any real practical reason. It's just that they'll feel a little less nutty if it feels like a logical thing for them. To go to this party of Alex goes.

Elaine says Shalief would make a costume for him and for Tony and for Latka, which is weird because Laca hasn't really been raising his voice in support of this whole thing. They just kind of assume that he's gonna go. I thought that was odd. Man. Of course he's gonna go.

What else does he have to do? I suppose, yeah, exactly. You know you'd hear his voice if he disapproved. Yeah, Alex is still steadfast. He refuses, but which actually prompts a Lane to literally growl at him, follow alone and call him a drip.

Calling someone a drip? What does that really even mean? Like, what's the connotation of that? Like calling somebody a drip? How's that an insult?

They are neither a flow nor a lack of flow. There's just some state in between of annoyance that you hear in the background. But that's all they'll ever be. I guess so. But finally, anyway, Alex finally relents and says he'll go, which prompts a celebratory chant of everybody chanting let's go to Woodies, Let's go, which is also funny that they're doing this, given that they've already said that secrecy is of the utmost importance in this whole thing.

And they're literally in the middle of the garage chanting let's go to Woodies. But during this, Louis sneaks in to the crowd and he starts chanting let's go to Woodies and jumping with them. But then the cat I'll tell him that he can't go. He's just going to ruin it for the rest of them. And then smugly Bobby puts the datebook back in the case, locks it and taunts Louie that if you don't have the location, Louie, you can't go.

Mean. It's very mean, even for you know, Louie, it's it's nice. I don't like this at all. So at this point Louis seethes as the cabbies continue the chant and we fade out to commercial. Now, the thing of it is, I really thought that this thing with Louie was going to end up being a side plot like me too.

He was going to show up, he was. Going to do his best to show up, and he would literally ruin it for them, As Bobby feared that he would but you know, Louie conspiring to go to the party, whatever happens, but nothing happens. In fact, this is really the last we see of Louis for the whole episode. I thought it was a great opportunity that was completely wasted. It's just odd.

I don't know. Yeah, because they didn't need him at all. They could have just said, hey, I found this notebook or this date book from this guy who was in my cab. Look there's some famous photos. So they didn't needn't have included him at all to set it up that there is no payoff.

Yeah, it just seemed like an obvious thing that they would have involved him more. But nevertheless, we. Plus could have had Louis show up in a top hat and you could have said he's a Tim Burton character. I just can't figure out which how tall is his top hat determines which which point of his career with Tim Burton he's on. Oh, because we have Dumbo, we have obviously Batman Returns.

What else is he in Big Fish? Yeah, he's the he's the ring master in that. I got it. Yes, So we we fade in from the commercial and b Roll of the Harbor at Night while some sweet dixie Land music plays. This might be the first and only time we hear dixie Land music on TAXI fought them alone because it has to be dixie Land.

Because it's a it's a houseboat, like I guess there's a riverboat. Connote, I suppose. It definitely looks like a boat. Good good, good work with the production staff here, although it's it's over lit. And it doesn't exactly scream party boat to me, but nevertheless.

It screams Woody Allen party boat. That's a good point. We cut to the boat interior as the Cabby's all make their way into the party while costumed revelers are all around. By the way, I made a note here, all of the Cabby's costumes are way too professional looking to be authentic. Bobby's in this amazing cyrano there.

Bobby is a theater guy, you know, Bobby. It can get hooked up by by. There's some version of western costume that Bobby has his hooks in. After years that on the streets, I. Guess you figure maybe he just boosted one from a from a show somewhere and that's what he's wearing.

But but Elaine is as billed. She is there as Scarlett O'Hara. It's a gorgeous. Her hair is all done up and ringlets and everything. Oh my god, she looks amazing.

You know. She kept reminding me of Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth during the oh yeah, from the when the World falls down sequence. Yeah yeah, another good call, father Malone. That didn't occur to me. But but that's you're you're right that she does.

Hearken to that for sure. And now I'd really love to see Labyrinths during Marylyn Henner. A little old, but that's okay, hey man, a little old, you could do it. Maybe maybe it's her child who gets taken by the Goblin King and she has to go resting. I could see Maryly Henterer as the Goblin King.

There's something for okay, the fair play. We'll chew on that for a little bit. Bobby marvels that they could just walk in with no hassle, and Bobby and Elane are just positively gleeful about how the party's on a boat. Classic Woody, they say, which I think is hilarious. Bobby says he's gonna go mingle a little bit, and this is when Alex Tony and Loka make your grand entrance inexplicably fought them alone.

They're all dressed as the Andrew sisters. It's not inexplicable. It's comedy gold, don't you know When men dress as women, it's utter hilarity. But I just think it's odd that Elaine would choose to put them all in drag, given that there's plenty of other costumes that would fit three people at once, like the Three Stooges for example. I mean, I get it, it's comedy gold, and it gets a big laugh from the audience, But in practical terms, it seems odd that she would opt to put a put them in drag, and b that they would agree so readily given that it's nineteen eighty one or eighty two New York.

It just seemed odd to me. Wow, and this isn't sort of character based. I don't think the choice is going on here. I think these actors think it, thought it would be fun, and they clearly knew the audience was going to go crazy, and that's everything that happened to it. I think we're not considering the possibility that in cit calm like fashion, like you know, there's always like an episode where a character will have made two dates with two different girls and they're at the same restaurant and he has to run back and forth.

Perhaps this is a situation where Elaine has relationships with each of these guys, where she is slowly feminizing them, and now has the opportunity to bring them all together on this one night, and none of them realize that any of this is happening. What a bizarre So where did you did you pull that out of Father Malone? That is that is an amazing bit of flight of fancy on your part. Well, you were pointing out that it's crazy that they would have so readily agreed to it, and I'm like, well, why would they have readily agreed to it? Well, if they were in a relationship with Elane where that was what was happening each we're doing it separately, that's all.

There's like psycho sexual dynamics that I have to think about now between Tony and Elaine and Alex in Elaine and the Laka And. You know Laca is down for it, Oh sure. Because Laca has already revealed the darkness lurking under that he's a switch. At least they all. Get a huge laugh, like I said.

As they walk in and Bobby eating some more, DIRVS sees them and makes a comment about how good they look. He mentions that the food is great and there's an amazing band playing back there. I think it's the Rolling Stones, like they should have been something like that like that. I mean, I think it's mc jagger, like they look like him, but maybe not. You know, I used to hear that the Beatles wanted to go on tourist somebody else.

That would have been the perfect band for that moment too, Like it would have to be like a band so big that there's no way in hell they would actually play a boat party. But that's his imagination running wild again. It's gotta be you know, he's go to mask on, but I think it's McJagger. And I'm sure it's Charlie watts on the drums man no one. Yeah, I could see that as they're talking.

And this is another great part in the sea. Hearkens back to what you said earlier. Jim walks in and he has no costume on at all. He's just he has his Canadian tuxedo. He's just he's just strutting around like he might as well be at the garage.

He's unfazed by everything that's happening at this moment. To be fair, he has yet to put his costume on. He does put his costume. On, that's right. So Tony says, hey, Jim, it's a it's a costume party.

You were supposed to dress up. And then Jim says, oh yeah, and he reaches into his pocket and he pulls out I don't even know if they make these anymore. It's a pair of joke glasses. The ones they have. Like they do.

They've they've got like slinkies on the eyes, so that like the they basically bounce up and down when you're when you walk around in them. And he it is so funny because Christopher Lloyd knows exactly how to twist his head to make these things like swing wildly back and forth. It is hilarious. It's so good. It's well choreographed.

I will give you that. And yes, of course they still make that. That's like a that's a prime novelty. If there are any joke shops out there, they definitely have those glasses. It kind of is.

But I think that the grutro marks the Schnas with the mustache is like the joke glasses. Let's be honest, right, certainly, but these are a close second half to me probably. I guess it's been a while since I've been to a joke shop, so maybe it's my own inexperience here. Perhaps there's a ski ball tournament out there that might yield a pair of these spectacles for you. Cash in eight hundred tickets you can get the specs.

I think it might be a little more than eight hundred, but yes, that is the idea. Anyway, it's a great bit for Jim. And then Tony asks Bobby who's famous here, and Bobby says, well, everyone is. He said, this is where the imagination runs wild. He says he heard two people talking that just had to be Diane Keaton and Truman Capoti.

Oh my god, what is happening here? And could we hear them please? You know, you know what I would love at the end of this if they if they cut back like Tyler Dirden style to Bobby overhearing all the conversation, He's like, yeah, I heard, I swear to god it was Diane Keaton and Truman Capote and they sound nothing like it at all. It's just like it's clearly not them at allmost like two like like tall white guys just having a conversation. I'm sure it was Diane Keaton, and it's two guys talking about fucking Patriots versus the Redskins or something.

I don't know. There's the fantasy and the reality on either side, you see, like Bobby's fantasy on the left where he's rubbing elbows with Truman Capoti, and on the right, it's just some plumber who has a lone Ranger mask on, and. That's basically all that must be. Henry Kissinger's like, we'll go talk to him for two seconds, you know, like clearly not Henry Kissinger, like show the band and it's just some pimply teens. Like Bobby says he's going to get a drink for Alex, and naturally, when Alex walks by, Bobby has to do a little pinch of his ass because, you know, naturally, because Alex is dressed like the Andrews sisters, you know, he's got to get frisky in a jokey way whatever.

While they're drinking their their drinks, Bobby takes a dramamine pill because he says he gets seasick. It's the motion that does it to me, Alex, it's the motion. Well, this is this is another case of this is Chekhov's dramamine, because this is going to come back to haunt Bobby. Is what we're going to see. They don't you don't present him.

With drama, right, and it is a one two three thing, right. Yeah, it is, it really is. Alex goes over to a nearby couch and sits down, and Elaine runs over and tells him what a terrific time she's having already, she's like a gadfly. She's running around. She's having a great old time.

And of course why wouldn't she. She's a she's a beautiful woman dressed up as scarlettle hair. Of course she's going to attract all sorts of attention from all the other revelers, you know. She starts to rush off. Bobby asks, well, why are you rushing off?

And she's getting a little bit of that imagination sickness from Bobby. She says she was dancing with a guy, and she swears that it's al Pacino. It could be anybody, could be just some guy in like in a spacesuit. She doesn't know, yeah, or maybe could we do a flashback where everyone like, as they're given drinks and then we show before that they reserve the drinks, how they've been dosed with LSD or something like. So you're convinced that all of these people are famous people.

Seriously, they may not even be on a boat for all we know. Maybe this is all a figman like Ce and Elsewhere style. This is a figment of their imagination. They're on a ferry and right in New York Harver, they're going back and forth at the Statue of Liberty. They're in the Staten Island ferry and they're just walking in circles, you know, talking to like the.

All in costumes. Nobody else is in costume. People edging away from them on the bench, like to get away from the weirdos to the costumes. So she takes Bobby to go and meet quote unquote al Pacino. We fade into another b roll of a of a docked boat with more Dixie Land music playing.

We cut back inside is Tony excitedly goes over to Alex. Alex is still sitting on the couch minding his own business. He says to Alex, you'll never guess who's here. As a guy in a lone Ranger costume walks by, Tony says, that's Henry Kissinger, and that finally gets Alex excited. I think he even goes, hey, that's a great man, Tony.

That's that's that's you know, that impresses. Finally Alex is impressed by somebody that they claim on the boat. Basically, Alex has no use for actors and and theater folk there beneath him. He doesn't get starstruck at the you know, just anybody. It's got to be like a statesman on the scale of a Henry Kissinger to really get Alex's you know, to make him impressed with with everything that's going on.

Sneaking into a party with fucking thespians is no thrill for a man who likes to ski jump with nude models, or so I've heard. He's an adrenaline junkie. Before that was such a thing. After this, I know you love bad adr and Taxi and we have a little bit of he love it. As they're looking at Henry Kissinger, you here adr of Bobby saying Alex, Tony and they go over to Bobby to ask, well, what's the matter, and Bobby says that he just found out that Broadway director Hal Prince is at the party and he's fretting about how to meet him and what do you do?

And Alex points out that he doesn't even know. You're not supposed to be here, just go over to al Prince and have a chat. So stupid Bobby seems like such a dummy here. So Bobby is excited. He then pops more Dreamany I should talk to him, that's a really good idea.

Yes, I'm gonna go do that. So he, like I said, he pops more more dramamine, which which, well, it's gonna go fine, I'm sure. Tony asks Alex to go mingle he's just been sitting there all night, and Alex is ambivalent. Alex's gets a little bit existential here. He says he wonders why there's a special group of people named celebrities that we treat differently, Tony?

Aren't they people just like us? If you cut them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them? Do they not laugh? Are kittens not the same?

Adorable kittens with or without celebrities? Who needs them, Tony, look and we're all the same when we're wearing these costumes. Are we all wearing masks that we walk around in even when we don't know that we have them? Tony, I'm lost, Alex, what is your metaphor? Anymore?

So? Then Bobby shuffles back over. He's he's very downcast now, and Tony asks how it went with hal Prince, And it turns out that Bobby threw up on hal Prince because he's so seasick that I guess he just couldn't hold it in and he now he's Now Bobby's fretting about never working in this town again. What he doesn't realize is he inspired hal Prince to go work on the Sweeney Todd by doing that. To him, that's really I've got it.

And then he goes off and makes broadwa. What has Sondheim been thinking about? That crazy thing with the it's all about Bobby parts and stuff like it could work now I know it could work. Concurrence with our plot where we reveal that nobody is famous right on the other side of the boat the actual famous people are, or maybe one boat over. Like we follow that, we follow hal Prince and it's the real hal Prince and he goes, where were you?

He's like, I went to the wrong party. That would have been the best hook through all of this, that there actually is a cost party with famous people, but they got the address wrong. That would have been awesome. Bobby would have been this close to actually making his Broadway dreams come true for the sake of a one instead of a two on the on the on the dock listing right. Ah, that would have been awesome, Father Blong.

Laca walks over to the couch where all the cabbys have adjourned at this point, and and Loca is excited about all the autographs that he's gotten. And this this bums Bobby out to no end because he says, celebrities don't ask all the celebrities for their autographs, Laca. But Elaine is She's pooh poos his concern and says, all right, you know, Loca, what did you get? And Loka describes all the autographs he's gotten. He's gotten an autograph from George Hansen, from fran Petriccini, from Gus Bates.

Aren't these all people that you you you know off the top of your head, Father Blown oh you don't, because because apparently this, this, this whole thing is a sham. This is not the boat full of famous people that they were excited to go to see. Apparently this is some sort of real estate you know, party or whatever. Because they're wondering about these people. And then Laca points out that the guy that they thought was Kissinger, the guy in the Lone Ranger outfit, is Gus Bates.

He's not Kissinger, big surprise. Well, I honestly I would rather talk to Gus Bates than Henry Kissinger. But but see here though, I like this because we get a little bit of Inspector Riger we talked about We've talked about him a few times during the Lacas Cookies episode. Especially now, Riager openly wonders if they are where they think they are, and Tony says, this explains something that he heard because somebody says they were in the Pacific with Woody during World War two, and then Bobby says, well, that couldn't be Woody Allen because you would have been about four during World War Two. Inspector Alex reasons that these must just be a bunch of real estate people like Neil Zacher, relieved.

Bobby says, oh, he's so relieved. He didn't vomit all over Hal Prince. He just vomited all over some poor real estate broker you know who will. Ever see again head to my ending real Hal Prince talking to Stevenson time, Well, at least we've got a good idea out of it. Tony says they should just get out of there, and they all start to leave, but then Alex stops them again.

He's feeling very circumspect. He says, a moment ago, they thought they were having the time of their lives because they were with celebrities, and surely these people here can still be interesting even if they're not famous. He says, I'm going to go get to know Gus Bates over there, and he strides over to Gus Bates and he introduces himself and literally a beat after the lone ranger says, in the most vanilla voice you've ever heard, says, I'm Gus Bates. Alex says, wait up, you guys, and he just he couldn't get out of there fast enough because apparently just the sound of Gus Bates is enough to get him to run, because he just seems like the dullest. Guy, Alex Rieger finally learns his lesson at the end of this episode.

Ordinary people are boring. Actually it's appropriate considering he was into ordinary people fought them alone. Did you mean to do that? No? I didn't, But that movie is boring.

That's it's a Timothy Hutton that that's true. So we fade back into the garage where the Cabby's are all gathered ure's. This is kind of weird. They're still in costume, but they're they're toting a pizza and some beer. I loved it.

Oh my god. I love seeing them in costume. And we haven't really talked about the costumes that were at the party, where everyone seemed to be wearing no matter what their costume was, they were wearing those vacuum form clear Oh yeah, masks, you see that. But the bank robber mask, Yes, that's all I can think of now when I see those as bank robbery. So to see the higher room sort of decked out in those and did sort of reinforce the idea that this is some sort of KUBRICKI and sex club.

I just thought it was sort of weird that this party's a bust. So they're going to go adjourned somewhere and have a pizza. But why on earth are they going to go back to the garage. Why don't they just go to Mario's or go back to Alex's apartment and and hang out. They spent the entire budget on the boat.

I guess, so they don't have the set for Alex anymore. So they have to go to the garage. So they wander in with this pizza and this beer, and Elaine is lamenting what a lousy night it is, and then this is this is just a button to the episode, by the way, and just to cheer her up, Alex, Tony and Laka launch into to your point earlier. Apparently their favorite Andrew Sister's song is by mere Biss tusheg with and they, the three of them, Alex, Loka, and Tony perform it with choreography. They're harmonizing perfectly and everything.

It's it's it's a fun little sequence, but it's a little odd and it begs the question, father alone, how did Loaca know the lyrics to an old timey standard like by mere Bist to shame like he rattled it off like it was nothing. Well, I think that I think the Andrew sisters transcend culture and nationality. I think I have no problem with the idea of Loca growing up with them, just as American teens were growing up with them, sort of after the fact, it's about the sequence. I do think we're talking about Loca because I'm glad we're talking about Loca, because he's great in this scene. He's really thrown himself into the choreography and just really having a good time.

Loca is also the prettiest of the Andrews sisters. You think so I do, And that's that's hard to pull up because you know, Tony is naturally pretty, but not in a drecty and we we. Can agree that alex Is is the ugliest of all of them. I mean, he just he doesn't hold up very well as an Andrew's sister. No, they make a Barber streisand joke about it.

I'm gonna ask you again, what's your favorite Andrew sister or something? Do you have one? Because I have one? Did they do the boogie Woogie bugle Boy? Or is that Bett Midler am I thinking of?

Okay, I guess that would be because that's maybe the only other one I can think of off off my head? What what? What's your favorite? Oh? My goodness, don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else, anyone else but mee such a good song that anyone else but me, anyone else would me?

I mean it. It is a cute ending. It's a little weird, but it's cute because they're doing it to cheer a lane up, and. It's you know, yeah, it's just a it's a it's a weird choice of song, and uh, I don't know. It's a it's an odd thing that transpires, but it's kind of cute and and to your point, it is interesting that that Andy Kaufman really gives it as all, because I can't help thinking that the provocateur, the the person who considers himself above all of this taxi claptrap, would not have been enthused about having to dress up as an Andrew sister throughout the whole episode and then perform this song.

So I guess it's a credit his professionalism. I guess you know what it made me think of. It's pretty famous that as a child, Kaufman would basically perform his own variety show in his bedroom and make his Sister watch. I could easily see him performing a Andrew's Sisters number or two. I could see that, and he did like a TV special where he talked with like the Howdy Duty puppet and stuff.

I could Seeah, you know, you're right. I could see him having an affinity for all that old timey stuff. Sure. So that's the end of the episode. Roll credits.

Now we're going to talk about yellow lights. What does a yellow light mean? Reminder, we score every episode on a scale from one to five yellow lights. One is the worst taxi episode and five is the best, and as is our custom. Throw it to you, father Malone, what do you give the costume party?

Going to give it three yellow lights? It is neither hot nor cold. It is lukewarm, So I will spew it from my mouth. I actually gave it four yellow lights, Father Malone. I gotta tell you, I'm close to perfect.

No no, no, no, no no. If I all this idiocy Bobby being a dummy and okay, all right, go ahead, yeah, please justify your four yellow lights, please I will. I'm a sucker when when the show gives us a full ensemble episode and if nothing else, this is a full ensemble you get all the caves interacting with each other. Yes, they're they're they're playing kind of dumb. And it's maybe not the most logical, logic forward episode, but and it's a thin premise, I'll give you that, a lot of logic holes.

But it's funny nevertheless, and I just had a good time with it. I thought it was fun. And this is one that I would I would rewatch because it's just silly and it's fun and it's low stakes, and I enjoyed it. So four yellow lights for me, Three yellow lights from Father Malone. That's going to do it for this episode of night Mister Walter's Father Malone.

Where can the folks find you when you're not clocked into the garage? I do a show called Midnight Viewing over well you just look up Midnight Viewing and that's on twice a week. There's the weekly round Up where I look at brand new shows, and then every Friday we look at older things like anthology television series like Tales from the Dark Side, or anthology horror movies or just well, I don't know, listener things too. HP's on there a lot. He'll tell you.

Sure, we're prepping for something we're calling a Predator Fest at this point. Until somebody comes up with a better name for that fucking thing. Yeah, we're calling a Predator Fest. We're gonna wait to look at all the every sequel and every every bit of Predator that we can get our hands on, and in preparation obviously for the forthcoming Predator bad Land. So I'm looking forward to that.

Uh. So, that's that's fun. But uh, including the books, are you ready to read? Oh geez, you're kidding me. I there's only so much time in the day.

Father Malone, We're not gonna. We're not gonna. We're not gonna. I'm talking about so uh. As for myself, I also host the Noise Junkies music podcast.

I'm an occasional guest on the Culture Cast with Chris. Dashu and no Junkies coming up. That's right, that's right, we're gonna we I won't spoil it, but uh, it's a it's a homecoming of sorts for Father Malone, who was one of the original Noise Junkies, so we're very very pleased about that. And I also have a band camp site, HP music Place dot bandcamp dot com. So thanks again for listening everybody.

Please feel free to subscribe to the podcast, write a review, or rate us. We'd love to hear from you in any or you choose. In fact, I have an email address you can send comments. You liked the episode, you hate it when you're in different HP Music place at gmail dot com is the email address. Please send me whatever you got.

So that's going to do it for this episode. Thanks again and we'll see you all next time. Hi, mister Walders.