Episode 77 - Nina Loves Alex

Weird media. Ni miss. Is that guy with it now he's an actor. And the only camp driver in his place. Good evening and welcome tonight mister Walter's Taxi Podcast.

I'm HP or co host and with me as always as my co host, Father Malone, Father Malone, Hawaii, This evening, HP. I got this script for an actor aspiration episode. But we already get out rid of Jeff Conway. What are we gonna do? But my thoughts exactly, Father Malone, and we're gonna get into this.

We're of a similar mind. I think we'll get into this. It's Taxi season four, episode thirteen, Nina or Nina depending on her mood apparently loves Alex is written by David Lloyd and directed by Joan Darling. This is odd. We you know, another run of episodes in front of us that aren't directed by the late, lamented James Burrows, And I.

Feel about that one? Is the next one directed by James Burrows? No, it is not. Oh my okay, And I'm gonna I'm gonna call out how much I appreciated the direction of the next one. Before we get started, Father Malone.

I have a bit of an announcement a correction to an earlier episode, if you'd indulge me for a minute speaking of James Burrows and our tribute to James Burrows. In the episode or two ago, I mentioned that the sitcom with the most Burrows directed episodes was Cheers. Do you recall that? Yes? I do remember.

So after that episode dropped, I got an email from super fan Rich you're your friend and mine father Malone, and he mentioned that actually Will and Grace was the sitcom with the most number of Burrows directed episodes. Burrows directed the entire run of Will and Grace two hundred and forty six episodes in total, which puts it nine episodes above Cheers at two thirty seven. So apologies for the mistake. Thank you Rich for keeping us honest. Also, what's wrong with you, James Burrows?

You should have done more Cheers. Maybe at the time he thought, I certainly can't direct the entire series. Well, the thing is, I think Will and Grace. I'm not gonna say they didn't cheat a little bit, but they had the benefit of having a reunion season a few years after the original run of the show went over, and that, I believe is what put him over the top. So if so, if Cheers had come back for like a one off streaming season, it would have been probably the opposite.

Did he direct any episodes of Fraser by any chance, because I'm going to count those episodes in Cheers's favor? Oh really, you think it's well, I guess they're in the same universe. There is that Fraser crane from Cheers. It's kind of a spin off show of Cheers, you know. By the way.

We're going to talk about this a little bit later. It's something similar. But the theme song to Fraser, is it in the running for the worst theme song of all time? No? Not at all, man, Come on now.

It is the most. Salad and scrambled eggs, eggs all over my face. Oh terrible, Father. Alone, the worst? Yeah, no, I agree.

Oh you're agreeing. I thought you were saying no, no, no, hold your horses. No, I'm saying it's not in the running because it's clearly the champ. It's undefeated. Reminder, we're doing these shows in broadcast order and not in order of filming.

We begin this episode Father Alone in the garage. As Tony rushes in, he makes a beeline for Alex and he casually ignores Jim's greeting, which I thought was at a little mean of him, you know, because Jim is like the mascot of the garage. Why is he being so callous? Because Jim is more of a burnout than ever these days. To be honest, I'm not going to mention half of the things that he did he does because they're kind of throwaway little bits, and I don't really think it adds much to our synopsis.

It's the same joke over and over again. Oh my god, he's so out of touch. He's such a burned out hippie. So Tony tells Alex that he just joined a neighborhood protection group. He's going to be patrolling the streets, catching muggers, that sort of thing.

Are we to. Believe, Father Blone, that Tony has joined the Guardian Angels. I think it just might be a neighborhood watch situation. But the fact that they don't name it makes me believe you're correct that it is the Guardian Angels they're talking about. They who would patrol the subways and neighborhoods and their red berets dealing with criminals.

I want to see Tony wearing the red beret and patrolling with Curtis Sliwa. Remember that he was the controversial head of the Guardian Angels. Oh oh, I remember I saw them occasionally in Boston on the subway. You know the Angels were in Boston? Really, Yeah, there was a chapter in I had no idea.

I don't know that I've ever clocked that they were on the subway with me. I would have noticed them, obviously. I don't think you took the subway quite as much as I did. I think, well, probably not. I did take it a fair amount going in and out of Boston as a kid, but probably not with the free because you went in for like a.

Job, right I did. I went to Rocky Horror every weekend, and I spent basically every free moment in Boston or Cambridge or somewhere. You know. Wow, So you really saw the Guardian Angels in Boston. Interesting because I'm sure they're not around anymore.

I'm not even sure how present they are in New York these days. Always on the Blue Line, Surprise. Which was always a line that I went in and out of Boston on, which explains explains a lot, because it was pretty Harry definitely, Harry. Can I just say there were times where I was like, oh, thank God, the Guardian Angels. Well, I'm not going to say that the Guardian Angels didn't serve a purpose or fulfill a need, because, especially in New York at that time, it was the wild West.

This was before Times Square became a tourist paradise, and it was a little a little dicey. You shouldn't be there after hour, after dark, or be on the on the subway after dark. Now it's a little bit better. I still don't know that I'd be gallivanting around Manhattan at three in the morning, but it's comforting to know that the Angels were there. Where were they when I got mugged twice on the goddamn subway?

Yeah? I think was it this podcast or another one where you told the story about getting mugged on? I have no idea. I just did. Yeah.

Once it was just a book they stole of mine. But the other time it was about my wallet. You know what they took. They took the seven dollars I had to my name. Did they did you give them the money or they'd take the whole wallet?

No, they took the fucking wallet. Man. See I would I'd be like, look, look guys, let me just give you the fucking money. You can see I have no more money, there's no secret pockets, but let me have my credit cards, for. God's no man.

When there's like eight of them, my thought was, here, you can just take that. That's cool. Oh hey, they left me alone. Now what a good plan of mine? Well that would be why you're here to tell the tale.

And he could not be if I had pushed the issue. Oh fellas, look if I got baby pictures in here, that was a. Time where you actually did carry baby pictures in a wallet, as opposed to your phone, which has all the pictures all the time. So I got curious. I've remembered Curtis Sliwa, and I got curious, and I looked him up on Wikipedia.

Fought them alone. And my favorite factoid of Curtis Sliwa is probably the fact that he has competed in multiple eating contests, including a win at the Carnegie Delli's annual sour pickle eating contest. He was declared the world champion. Isn't that fascinating? Curtis Sliwa sour pickle eating?

Yeah, that sounds terrible, doesn't it? All that saltwater? It sounds like a late nineties quirky sitcom cutaway. And he was also the world Dill pickle Champion. Well, it's online, so it must be true.

It got to be so. So, getting back to the garage, Alex congratulates Tony on his new gig, but Tony says, the rules are he has to bring a partner with him on patrol, which is probably a wise idea considering Tony's propensity for animal aggression and violence. No, see, they think that he needs a partner so they can protect each other. They don't realize Tony is a one man Army's. Tony is like Wolverine made manifest that you know he's going to go berserk.

I think if they knew anything about Tony at all, they say, and Tony, you do what you do. Right, they'd see that keep on trucking, Tattoo and quake in fear at this behemoth coming at them. Jim volunteers to be his partner, but once again, Tony ignores him and asks Alex to join him. Alex flatly refuses, and then the joke is Jim gets upset and when he starts to speak up for himself, he's forgotten all about what got him upset first place. Ah, he's a burnout.

Tony walks away and Alex muses to himself, why is he even drinking coffee? He just wants to go home and go to bed. He's at a twelve hour shift. He's dead on his feet. Father alone, I'd like to know why he's still.

There, because that they have nothing better to do. Clearly, we've seen this over four seasons. They hang out even when they're not working. It's silly. Don't talk about the coffee.

Throw the coffee away and leave Alex Riager, don't get his go with anyone wandering, and go home and go to sleep. You're clearly tired. It's been a twelve hour shift. We understand you're entitled to go home. He worked hard.

You don't have to do this episode. Just at that point, though, when he's complaining about being tired, this pretty African American woman walks in wearing the most god awful outfit that has ever made an appearance in the garage, Father Malone, did you take note of this ridiculous outfit? Okay, no, it is not the worst outfit ever, that that was always and will be the sweater dress that they sheathed Mary lou Henner in a few episodes ago and will again soon. That's the worst outfit of all the time. What's funny is when we'll get to it, but when Louis is talking to her, he says he refers to her as being so contemporary, And that's what I was thinking.

When she walked in. It's like everyone is still kind of in that seventies sitcom land costume wise, even though we've we've ratcheted up the ages a bit. But she walks in, it's like, hey, everybody, it's nineteen eighty two. It's like Mark from Ork wandered. Into their cus well, it's like clothing by Richard Simmons.

Because she's wearing she has a an athletic headband on, not fashion. It's like athletic. It's like what you might see Jim McMahon from The eighty six Bears wearing. Yes, but she's wearing it as fashion a circa nineteen eighty two, as you. Would I suppose.

But then we have she's wearing white shorts over leggings and then burgundy legwarmers over that with matching shoes. Yes, once again, nineteen eighty two? Where were you? Did you not see these people? No?

I didn't, I guess, or maybe I just didn't. I chose to block that out of my mind because I was just the salesman. So what do you think? This is like a costume, like this is how people were dressing. Man, She's I guess Louis had it right.

She's very contemporary. So Louis speaking of Louis Louis clocks are coming in and she announces that she's Nina Chambers, Louis new driver. By the way, interesting that we have the name, the surname Chambers. Oh I love that well because I assume David Lloyd wrote for Cheers as well, Right, I don't know, be interesting to know. I guarantee you he must have.

We had a Ernie Pantuso, didn't we, Or we at least a Pantuso. We had Ernie Pantuso several times. We had him as Tony's trainer. And wasn't he also a like a loan shark in the neighborhood pantus. Yes, that's right with the Tony was the he was his muscle there for a while, he ends up giving him a tony.

He gives him an it would be funny if it was a tony to tony. So we're getting these little breadcrumbs that about cheers, which I think is kind of cool. So she she says she's louis new driver, and Louis gives her a quick rundown about how things are in the garage, specifically Loui's good and bad side, and Alex makes a joke at Louie's expense, which completely catches Nina's fancy. She all of a sudden thinks that Alex is so funny. It's amazing.

It's not the funniest joke ever. This this whole moment, this is a this is a moment of attraction, right. She heard the joke, and then she turns and sees him and goes, oh my god, that was the funniest thing I've ever heard. Oh my god, look who it's coming out of. I'm in love.

She gets very We're gonna see if she gets very focused and obsessed with Alex very quickly. It well, well, let's get into it. So Alex walks over and introduces himself to her to Nina and then she corrects him about how to pronounce her name. She says it's Nina, which immediately earned my annoyance because, oh boy, it's not Deborah, it's Deborah, that kind of thing. Yeah, you know, there's that actress Gillian Flynn.

She was on Community. Oh yeah, I remember, yeah, But she pronounces it Gillion, and that makes me hate her, even though I love everything else about her. Gillian. Gillian doesn't roll off the tongue half his Gillian makes me think, oh, a nice, warm, fun person. Gillion sounds like it puts me in the mind of the creature from the Black Lagoon, gil Gillian.

I hate that association. Well, I would think Terry Gillian before I thought the gill Man. And by the way, don't pick on the gill Man. The gil Man is awesome. He is awesome, but he's not mine.

He's not a warm and cuddly you know, not as warm and cuddly as Gillian might be. Then Alex introduces her around to Jim and Elane, but then weirdly, Nina corrects Elaine by saying it's Nina, So two different people. She's given them two different names. I'm like, what the hell is going on? Here.

Nina is a quirk fest. She's very She's like what might later be known as the manic Pixie dream girl, because she kind of comes in and goes nice. Absolutely Yep. She's just full of energy and thought to him, we should do this and everything, everything great and positive and wonderful life should be lived. Come with me and live it.

She gushes about how it's her first night driving a cab. It's going to be so exciting. I'm already exhausted. The actress comes off to me, fathering alone, like a stage actress, acting too big for television. And I did the research and I was proven right.

The actress's name is Charlene Woodard. You know her, of course from what I know her from Hair one of the singers. And the White Boys. Is that so groovy that whole thing? Sure?

And then she's mister Glass's mom in Uh Glass and Unbreakable Get out of here. Wow, man, I didn't I didn't catch that. No, she's fucking she's been everywhere and everything. She's been in a ton of fucking television series. Like she's a she was a working actress.

Man. I really like her. I think what she's doing here is giving what they wanted was just the manic energy. But it's the most annoying energy you could possibly get. I don't think she's doing a bad job at being the most annoying person in the world.

But but that doesn't reflect who she is as an actress. She's really good. See I focused on her early work, which was all stage. She was she she made her name in the original company of Ain't Misbehavin. Yeah, she said she was in hair.

So to me that read as. Oh, that she's just all theatrical. Yeah, no, no, no, no, long long career in front of the camera. All right, that's fair. I'll take that back.

I'll take that back. But she you will agree though, that she's like the most annoying, whirling dervish in the whole fucking episode. Oh yeah, I hated her. She's supposed to be set up as this romantic foil for Alex. But all I kept thinking was Alex is right to keep rebuffing her advances because you could deal with her.

She just feels like a lot. That was my thought too, Like they made it really easy for Alex to be like in the right here, this isn't an Angela's situation, which they could have made it too. If they had made this girl like really sweet and earnest and not in any way manic, then this would have been an interesting episode. It would have been a better episode. I'll go one further with I agree like it should have been You should have been conflicted about Alex's feelings towards her because they make like you said, they make it so easy for her to be rejectionable, if that's even a word.

But yeah, we'll continue here. Nina continues. She relates all the wonderful things she'll be privy to as a cab driver. She's going to see people on their first dates, on anniversaries, all the happy people, to which Alex grumpily suggests that what are you driving the burrow of oz like he makes this joke at her expense. Alex announces he's going home, and Nina immediately confides to Elane that Alex is very cute, which she's like, twenty five, twenty six years old.

Alex is what in his forties by this point. Yeah, I have less a problem with the age difference in the fact that she got grumpy, shitty attitude Alex. This isn't she didn't walk in on Alex, like when he's being mister positive and helping all of his fellow cabbies or anything, he got like fuck everything, fuck you, fuck this job. I want to fucking go home. And then like we're gonna get to the cab right.

He's even worse in a moment, like I could see, like initially you see somebody and you just get that thing right. It just happens. Sometimes doesn't matter who the person is, what their background is, whatever, you're just like, holy fuck, who is that? I need to know more about that person. That's fine, but come on, like, once you start dealing with the person, you find out who they are.

She gets Alex on one of his bad days where he's tired, he's grumpy, he's grouchy, he just wants to get home and just go to sleep, and he's not matching her energy in the least. He has no energy, and she's a fucking nuclear fusion. Elaine seems initially taken aback by Nina's comment about thinking Alex is cute. It made me wonder like maybe their European fling between Alex and Elaine is still on her mind because she caught her off the heart. I think a little bit.

What she says is like, no, I haven't noticed. Of course I've noticed. He's very cute, is what she says. Now, I don't know if that's just world weariness, but we're talking about Alex Reager. Look no offense to Judd Hirsh because he's a very talented man, and talent makes everyone more attractive.

But he's not like adorable, you know what I mean, Like, I don't know, I may be great, he's. Just coming off like sour and a cerbic and not not good company at all. It's an odd moment. If Mick Jagger was not the front man of the Rolling Stones, he would have to pay for sex. You know what I mean.

But the fact is he's got that talent and that makes him a fucking sexual dynamo. I think you're selling him short. In his youth, I think he was considered handsome in his day. Oh now' and he just looks he's now. He looks like a caricature of himself from his younger days.

He has always looked like a mutated freek. He always looked like a melted. Human, melts in the human. If you saw him on a street corner, you walk up the other direction. Will agree to disagree.

So at this point, Nina rushes over to Alex before he leaves and insists that she wants to be She wants Alex to be her first. Fair. Fine, she'll drive him home. So we famantic, romantic. But the ride is anything but, as we'll see, So we fade into the inside of the cab.

Is prattling on. Nina's a talker, man, She's very much a talker. And Alex is dozing in the back seat of the cab and he's just trying to like catch a nap before he gets home, and she's talking about how sometimes she uses Nina sometimes Nina, she just doesn't want to be pinned down, blah blah blah. But then when Nina, and this is where the Bobby thing comes into play, and I want to talk to you about this a little bit, she intimates. When she intimates that she's an actor, Alex perks up, but in disdain, he actually says, oh, wait a minute, you're an actress.

Look, Bobby just left the fucking show, and already they've tried to fill the void with another aspiring actor. I just wrote, Wow, Well it is shorthand for crazy Girl. Sure, but it seems like it's a little bit of a stomp on Bobby's legacy, such as it is. It does seem some two episodes after his finale on the show, where this exact story was being played out, they kind of buried it. It's kind of like a c plot thing, you know, the fact that she is an actress and in an audition and that's giving her her worth and whatever.

But it's still the same fucking thing that they just did. And you're right, like, I don't know, maybe they were just like, well, we can't give it to Bobby again. I don't I honestly don't know, Like where there was a story editor, wasn't there, Like somebody didn't say, didn't we just do this? It just felt very conspicuous to me that even though there's no way, there's no chance that she was going to become a regular player, this is just a one off episode. But still it's a little odd that they kind of fill this.

Why couldn't they have just picked any fucking occupation, like, you know, like she. Wanted to be a cartoonist, or she wanted to be an artist, or she wanted to be a musician into. The writing program at wherever? You know, was that maybe it's a slap at Conaway, you never know. She mentions some TV work and then this is this was odd.

This Alex kind of comes out of his sort of stupor and says, yeah, every and this is a direct quote from Alex. This isn't me, this is Alex. He says, yeah, every script they sent you had you saying either jive turkey or say what sukka, which earns a hearty laugh from Nina because it confirms, like in her mind she knows he knows what I'm talking about. You know, it just was weird to hear those words jive turkey and say what sokka coming out of Alex Rieger's mouth. It ain't cool being the jive turkey is so close to Thanksgiving.

That is trading places right there. One of my favorite scenes of that movie. Oh jive turkey, listen, there is not wrong. The laugh is earned because you know, Hollywood Shuffle would come out with like what five years after this movie though, still saying the exact same thing. True, and actually it it may even seem a little pression because I don't recall this being widely discussed or or brought up until movies like Hollywood Shuffle came out, or even well when did when did Eddie Murphy do White Like Me?

On SNL? It was the exact same time, Yeah, eighty one two. So I guess you know they were starting to bring this kind of thing to light. Well, my god, black people were actually getting featured parts in things so they could actually have a voice and say these things that nobody was discussing. Sure, and that's all great, It's just like it was weird if no other reason, then it was judd hirsh speaking and sort of like pigeon jive, if you will.

Finally, Alex asks if they can just be quiet so that he can sleep, But then, just as he lays down in the back for some weird she jerks the wheel back and forth, purely, apparently just to annoy Alex or wake him up. Okay, look that I understood. We've all done that. You what you've jerked the wheel to? We've all jerked the wheel when when an uncooperative passenger has fallen asleep during conversation, Sir, sure, who hasn't?

I haven't, that's who. I never Why would I do that to piss off the person I'm driving with. Sometimes you got to take steps, HB. I don't know, it sounds like an odd relationship if you're resorting to driving shenanigans to wake somebody up, you know what. I could explain more, but I think I'm just gonna leave it as.

We'll leave it there, Let's let it hang. That's fine. Alex once again says he's he's just too tired to participate in it would be actors conversation. As we cut to b roll of someone haling the cab. It's raining now, and we cut inside to the cavs.

Two high school kids, a boy and a girl. They dressed in like prom outfits, like a cheesy tucks and a prom dress, and they're toting a prom decoration. Nina tells them they can get in and Alex. Don't worry about Alex. He's just a driver that she's driving home.

The boy. At first, I thought the boy was the guy from Caddyshack, the rival Caddy. Hey, you ain't get a nokke like you know? No, No, he was the kid from Meatballs Too. He was but Flash Venucci or something like that.

But what I what, I knew him better from I remembered him in that because he he boxed or something in that movie, right, he was like, yeah, that was the event of. Series that lasted like one season two. Well you know what he was in that I actually remembered because I love this show. Was he was in season two of The White Shadow. He played New York transplant Nick Vitalia.

And by the way we met, we talked about this earlier. But when people mentioned the greatest TV theme songs of all time, Father Blone, they'll bring up The Rockford Files, They'll bring up Taxi, they'll bring up Mission Impossible. But from my money, the theme to The White Shadow is right up there with the best my opinion, And. Here it is now. It's groovy.

It makes me think of the show immediately. I can see all that they've been playing basketball and Ken Howard raising his fist in triumph. It's a great show. It's a great theme. I agree with you.

However, you did name the best one of all time, it remains The Rockford Files. Well that's the commonly held. Common Yeah, why wouldn't it be. It's the best. Anyone anyone our age might say that.

I think kids today probably would not agree with that. They'd probably say Phineas and Ferb. There aren't many like credit sequences anymore, is the thing, So there's no like easing you into the show, like, Hey, here's a song with lyrics like what would we do babe without us? Like that kind of shit? Yeah, that was That was Johnny Mathis singing that song.

Did you know that Mathis? I'm so sorry. Johnny Mathis and Denise Williams saying that, Oh my god, what This was a time when the theme song was a big deal. And you know, you know, what's a good one. Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

If the goal of the theme song, a TV theme song is to put you in the mindset of the show immediately and make you already see the show in your mind, I mean, it doesn't get much better than Cheers, right? What about the Golden Girls? Everyone loves that song too. Thank you for being a friend. I fucking hate that song, father.

WHOA strong reaction from HB. Thank you for being a friend. This is no disrespect to The Golden Girls as a show, because I know people love it. Or friends as a concept, both in television and in regular life. I don't know, man, that that's sort of like ding ding ding, think that piano, little mincing piano piece, and it's just so saccharin.

I hate it. I have nothing more to add except I don't like that theme song. He triggered something in me. I apologize on behalf of theme songs everywhere. I gotta like get my mind back into this thing.

Okay, anyway, we talked about we talked about John mngaddie, the actor who played the boy in the vackseat. Anyway, at this point, a groggy Alex wakes up and he's confused by these They have like a. Paper mache Eiffel tower with them that they're holding. In between that they're holding they have crammed in. But Alex is now sandwiched between these two kids and then on his lap in both their laps is a paper mache my Eiffel Tower.

This night couldn't be going worse for Alex. All he wants to do is just get home and just sleep, and Nina is just putting obstacles in his way at every turn. But she says, look, it was raining outside, Alex, I can't leave these kids out to the rain. And the boy then says to Alex we're so in love with me and this girl a little Hey, can you boy some lica? No, like, we're didn't he say we're sixteen, we're in love and we're getting married.

Can you buy us some liquor? Always said he did say we're sixteen, that he. Did say that, But he didn't say they're getting married, did he? Yes, he did. I thought there were getting from or something, and we're getting married.

No. That's why they needed to get the Eiffel Tower, because she needed to be married in Paris, which reminds me if you watch the pilot of Cheers. The opening of Cheers is that as a kid comes into the bar and tries to get a beer and like pretends he's a sort of like old man, so that the same sort of thing. I don't know why, but Cheers was really on my mind during this episode. It's interesting that's because it was a little on my mind too, just because of the last name of Nina.

It's something in the air because we were on the precipice of Cheers premiering, so it's probably not far off. So that Alex begs off about this whole buying liquor for a sixteen year old and then he announces, I'm home there, this is my apartment. Get let me out. So Nina thanks Alex for being her first fair She just comes right out and asks Alex for a date, but he begs off. He's like, look, he caught me off guard.

I you're not getting me on my best day, so let's you know, no, and then Nina cheerfully announces Alex won't be caught off guard the next time. This is what a stalker says to you when you keep saying, look, I'm not interested, I'm not interested, leave me alone. You'll be interested next time, you know. Okay, I do agree with you in theory if this was the fourth or fifth time, but this is she just asked him out. He said no, But here's the here's the conditions why I'm saying no.

And then she said, well that I'm gonna I'm gonna pursue you again in the future. I would do that, you would do that, anyone would do that. What makes the scene in any way good is the fact that he turns her down and the kids in the backseat go ah. She's like, she says, I'm going to continue to pursue you, and they go. Yay, I'm putting myself in Alex's shoes.

He's not interested for whatever reason, he's tied already whatever, he just it's not a good fit for him. This is not a love connection. But she keeps she's a fucking manic nightmare. She's like bipolar. It seems she's just constantly shouting and screaming things.

I worked with this girl in Santa Monica at a movie theater I worked at. I guess I won't name her. She she was. She was a legitimate flake. Like her nickname was Spacey, like that's what we called her because she was like often a cloud all the time and would do shit like you'd be on a bus with her and she'd get up and go everybody sing and just start singing a song at the top of her lungs.

So I know this human being, and I know and like I said, they're kind of letting Alex off the hook by making her this extreme. But it's not like this person doesn't exist. I guess it's my point. I've known people in the same galaxy as Nina also, and I tend to once I know what their game is, I'm like, all right, that's on this day as far from you as possible, because it's a exhausting. Really tiring Yeah, turn it off.

Man. I'm a believer that there's somebody for everybody in the world. I don't know if that makes me romantic, but there is somebody even there's somebody somewhere for somebody like Nina. It's just bizarre that she picked the diametric opposite of her to relentlessly pursue in this episode. That's all, well, you know, I think that could work because your mannek and they're completely chill and they sort of balance each other out, so there's a possibility there.

The problem remains they have written her character terribly, and they have asked her to pitch her performance at a level of a Jerry Lewis like annoyance. True, and it makes me wonder, And you've brought this up in the past too, like how might this have gone down differently? If James Burrows was directing the episode, he probably would have brought her down to a more appropriate level of you know, eccentricity, let's say, and it might have worked a lot better. Agreed with that, Yes, you can you see and feel his lack of presence here. So then the next day we fade into the garage.

Nina comes in and she announces to Louis that she has a problem. She made too much money to fit in the original envelope, so she uses a non regulation en flop. This is actually I thought was kind of funny. Louie is so delighted. He gives her like a big hug and says, Nina, if you do this again tomorrow, he says, you can go to Lost and Found and pick out anything you want.

Which have you ever We've all seen like lost and Found boxes that you know, in like the subway or just these big public places like a garage. You're so disgusting because you have to imagine that box that's been sitting in Sunshine cab is all sooty and gross and just dirty from sitting there. And let's not forget these were taken off the floors of cabs in Yeah City and then just tossed into this box. They were not sad and the tizes before they put in there. No one knows what sanitizing is.

And you have to imagine that before they end up in that box. Louis has taking his pick of the best things. Anyway, because Louie's got like the rings and the jewelry, that they find the watches, and he leaves all the detritus for the Lost and Found box. So anyway, I thought it was a funny offer. That's that's as close as Louie comes to being charitable to Nina at this point.

So she Nina goes over to Alex, who already adopts a defensive posture as he's sitting at the card table. She tells Alex that they should go out, but again Alex is annoyed and he's tired after his shift, and he tries to explain to Nina that he doesn't date much and they wouldn't really match each other's energy. Anyway, this is exactly what we've been saying, because she's pitched so high. And then Nina walks away, and here's this is a little stockery. She indicates that she's not done trying.

Oh you know, Alex, don't think you're off the hook, because I've only just begun and I don't know that. To me, that's a little bit scary. It's a little you. Know, listen, if you hit if she wasn't a loon, then this would just be charming. No, because I'm reminded that's the thing about every stocker case.

I'm not defending stalkers in any way, shape or form, by the way, but the sort of that's Any romantic story can either be a dogged pursuit of love or a crazed lunatic trying to force themselves on another. It's the same story. It's just whether or not it's welcome, and sometimes it's I didn't want anything to do with you when I first met you, and then you kept showing up, and you kept proving what a different kind of person you were than what I thought you were, and now we're together forever. So I believe in both stories. Sure, And we've all heard the cliched story from Grandpa.

You know Grandpa, you know he showed up at the restaurant I was working at every day for a month trying to get a date with me, and I turned him down until I said, all right, your persistence paid off, and we've been married for seventy five years. I don't I don't know if that's so true anymore. I think people are a little more enlightened and maybe a little more. Just or just scared thanks to your constant media coverage of stalkers. True, and and let's not forget a few seasons ago there was an episode that dealt with Tony and Who's Who's the woman from Get Crazy who played the pill popping Psychocabby who was obsessed with Tony and alone?

Gayl Edwards, Gail Edwards. Yeah, yeah, this is kind of a mirror episode. Wow, it is. So what's the problem with They don't have any male stalkers in the show, right, It's all female stalkers like these this group of male writers sitting around going bitches. Huh.

Well there, I wonder if maybe Donahue had a run of episodes dealing with female stalkers, because we've already established all the all. The plots ex Season four are taken directly from Donahue episodes. And you know, now I'm gonna go start looking at donnau the topics from this time period. Stalkers. It's not just men anymore, it's women stalkers here on Donahue something like that.

They're out of the kitchens, they're in the trees with binoculars, women's stalkers. Louis at that point goes over to Alex. This was I thought this was actually kind of kind of interesting too. He goes over to Alex. And I love this.

This is the best part of the episode. Well it is because you think as a as a as a viewer, it's going to go one way. But they the writers prove that they're a little more enlightened than we're giving them credit for, because Louis comes over and he announces to Alex that he he's evolved beyond prejudice and hence he endorses on Nina Alex relationship. What's more is he says, like, I was raised by people from the old World, so he's he's letting us know that all of our racist tendencies that are here in America are from the old world and that sort of clannishness. And now he's talking about their potential relationship.

She's black, he's white. Is this What's where's he going with this? And you're you're a little tense stuff as a viewer, especially now you're like, okay, are they going to come up with some really racist thing here? Like what's Louis going? And it gets worse because like you two could fall in love, and you could get married, and you could have kids and it's like, oh my god, are we going to talk about interracial children and like how they're going to be treated in society?

On taxi? It gets a little hairy. He the words he uses are he mentions the obvious problems with the matchup of Alex and and Nina, and Alex says, you know what, obvious problems and you think this is where maybe they'll it's not going to get heavy, but you know you're expecting him to talk about the inter racial situation, but no, Louis says, if they had kids, like you said, like with her skinny body, I can't do this justice. But he says, basically, with with her skinny body and your nose, Alex, the kids are just fall on their faces. And I think he even does like like he makes the noise.

So basically it's another joke about Alex's big nose, which. Laugh, what a line up for that fucking joke. I loved it, yeah, and I'm kind of left going, whew, I thought that could really be bad, but it was kind of funny because it you can tell that it's the writer's kind of, you know, elbowing you a little bit, like you thought we were going to go there. But we're better than that. I actually thought that he was going to make me that he's a fossil and she's a child, you know.

But I think we were both really relieved that there was no casual racism coming up. Yes, and again I. Was excited for no casual racism. In any circumstance, let alone faxy. So we fade the commercial and we fade back in, back in the garage, and alexr rumps into the garage and he's carrying a full handful of colorful balloons.

There must have been like eight or nine balloons in his fist. Massive balloons too, what like weather balloons, almost. E They're big. And he announces to everybody that he has a problem. How do you keep someone, he says, from relentlessly brightening your life?

I guess, he says. Nina left these tied to the cab handle with a note about cheering up. But instead of counseling Alex on how to deal with his stalker, Elaine thinks, it's cute. You have a little admirers. I hate it.

It is pretty cute. You know what, if I came out of work and there was a bunch of balloons there for me. That would make my day. Yeah, but it's a very slim margin between balloons that are cute and like being you know, someone cooking your rabbit, you know, like like fatal attractions. Again, it all depends on your willingness to accept that person.

I guess so, I guess you know. So Anyway, Elaine says it's cute. This has been going on for a whole week, apparently, and there's even a vase of flowers on the card table with a note waiting for Alex. Elaine says he should just go out with her, but Alex says he's not interested, like I don't know how much money. More times he can say like I'm not interested, I'm not interested.

He could have one fucking dinner. I mean they go to Marios all the time. Just say that. It's that Yeah, but that's encouraging her. Say, look, I'm not really interested.

I'm not one to date, but you are so persistent. Let's have one date together. But you have to agree if I'm not into it, that you will leave me alone. He probably should have just bitten the bullet and done that, and that would have been the worst. He's going to have a nice meal, you know what I mean, And she's gonna be a little embarrassing who cares.

Yeah, I mean at least as nice as he's going to get in Marios, of course, but you know, it's his home turf. He probably could have just nipped it all in the bud, but he doesn't. He's fighting against it at every turn. And then he Alex goes on to enumerate all the ways in which they're different, including I noted the very good point that people who work together shouldn't really date, and you're pointing, like. You know, good point.

That's a good point. See. I thought you were going to say, actually, yeah, HP. Well actually I know plenty of people who have been office romances and they're still together and they're happy and everything that happens. Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, and this situation, it doesn't.

It's not like it's a supervisory role in some tech company or something. It's their cabbies. They're they're never even together. They're driving separate cabs. Yeah, exactly, So it's probably pretty harmless.

But ultimately Alex just says he doesn't like her. Elaine calls bullshit on this, saying Alex wouldn't go on and on about her if there wasn't a connection. Maybe she's right, Elaine is just tickled at Alex's misery. Though overall, now, let me agree with you about stockerdom there with that, because I don't know that's Elaine is a little kind of nuts at this point. Yeah.

They I feel like they lost the thread of Elaine somewhere in the last season or two and they never. Really got to do it. She kind of just now they just kind of write her, however, they feel like writing who she was. Yeah, yeah, she kind of she's a little more protean now, like she she changes based on the needs of the episode or of the scene. In fact, sometimes she complains about them gambling.

Sometimes she's interested in their gambling. Sometimes she's happy about this and sad about it. Other times. Wait a minute, maybe there's just commenting on the contradictions that are all humans beings through Elaine Narda. Is that a peace button on your helmet?

That is a full metal jacket reference for those of you, So. Uh, then those of you who didn't go to high school together. That's with us. I mean, great movie though, great reference. So Jeff, actually we get to see Jeff for a brief instant in this in this episode, Jeff and Conaway, No, I mean, Jeff, you know, Louis crime.

There, Jeff a line here. She's coming, sister, Louis, She's coming, And Louis expectantly asks was it another big money night? And then Nina rattles the envelope in this very you know, seductive way, and they have this big, enthusiastic hug Louis and and Nina, and Louis you know, admits that he gets misty when he looks into her envelopes and Alex. At this point, I think Alex is kind of maybe talking to Elaine has made him realize that he's got a nip to sing in the bud. So he breaks in to talk to Nina, but she says she's got her time, she's got an audition.

Another fucking Bobby audition situation here. But she'll she'll be around around seven, So why don't Why didn't she? She says, why don't I meet you at seven? And Alex rumps about it a little bit more. As we fade into his apartment, she comes in and excitedly tells Alex that she thinks she got the part.

She's perfect she heard someone say you're perfect, she got a kiss from the composer. Some bullshit. It's it's a little crazy what she's saying here. Yeah, she says that the author is overheard saying she's perfect. The director kisses her on each cheek European style and says like, see you soon, and the producer is like swooning, and the dormant is like, I've never seen anyone since the director said, since Judy Garland, I have not seen such a performance.

If that were the case, they would have hired you in the room right there. Yeah, they wouldn't be saying don't call us, we'll call you. It would have been like, yeah, we we have some formalities, but you got the part anyway. She She's even gone so far as to give the producers Alex's phone number. Finally, Alex insists that they sit down.

They're going to have this chat, and Nina again is relentless about her optimism about she's gonna get the part and her chances. It's all of It's a very stagy monologue that you describe about all of the different people that praised her her audition and then just thought right on. Cue the phone rings, and she she Alex says, it's for you, gives it to her, and this. Is performance, and it's a good performance. She gives a good performance.

Here as you watch her, the lights slowly dim in her eyes. I've been kind of hard on her her performance, but I will agree with you here she's on the phone and she could not She still all smiles, and then she talks and she doesn't say much. You can see, like you said, like the the light extinguished from her eyes and she just you know, she hangs up a phone before she said anything. You know that she's this isn't a situation like we've seen in other things where well, guess what I got the part like she's she doesn't have a part. She's she's crushed.

This is the second phone call in the recent episode with Jeff Conaway. She hangs it up and the reasoning she says, I mean, this is really kind of crushing. She says, she was too right for it, too on the nose. They liked her performance, but they didn't like her, which is probably the worst thing as an actor that you can hear, like, look, we loved your performance, we just hate you. You gotta feel for her in that moment.

I do, but I understand it. Oh yeah, Well we've spent this whole episode talking about how annoying she is, so. I mean, if she's really that good and she's really that perfect for the role, then wouldn't they just have had the conversation of you're gonna tone all of this shit down right because we can't deal with all of this. I mean, I've been round enough performers and artistic directors and whatever to know that that conversation would happen before the we're not casting this person because we don't like her energy. Well, they would have to be honest, because they're put there's a lot on line to hire somebody for one of these productions.

Like if it doesn't go well, then you know, they're back to square one. They would have at least hired her to understudy, right, yeah, you know, hey, you know we're we're not totally convinced, but we'll give you the understudy and we'll see where it goes from there. They would have the problem is that they've sent out this up that she's so fucking good that we have to have this debate now about this thing, which is so silly because if this were just Bobby. They would have just said they don't think I'm sexy. In this case, obviously, they've hit her where it hurts, because this is only confirming what she's been told throughout the whole episode, which is I don't like you, I can't date you, I don't like you.

So she's on the couch. She's crying. At this point. Alex attempts to comfort her, but she says, look, you're right all along, Alex, And like I said, she's crying. But Alex gets sort of realized in alex his very inimitable way, that you should be it's great that you almost got it.

You should be happy that you got that far. And you know, so you lost the part. And this is why this relationship actually could work if she weren't that lunatic, if she were just in a high energy, creative human. This is how it would happen. She's up when he's down, he's up when she's down.

Right, That's how That's what it is. That's what it's supposed to be, give and take. And I would accept that except we have evidence to the contrary. In the episode with d Wallace, where she was an actress who Bobby knew. Remember, he fobs her off on Alex, and Alex falls madly in love with her, despite the fact that she is manic and she's demonstrative, and she's creative and she just says whatever's on her mind and she's childlike in a lot of ways.

What is Nina if not a younger version of that act that character? Well, I don't remember being this annoying. Well, she wasn't quite this annoying, but she certainly was. Was also what you would might call a handful sure, and she absolutely broke Alex's heart in that episode. That's true.

Alex gets his heart broken a lot. I could see what he's coming in the future. So anyway, he does his best to get her to realize that look, you're twenty five years old. He says to her, you get your whole life ahead of you. You're blessed, and they share a laugh and that seems to pull Nina out of her funk a little bit, and then Nina.

Oh, I love Actually I loved this because he said what you're looking for is magic, and I'm the least magic man there is, right. Yeah, well that's what because she yea. They finally get to the nitty gritty and that that was his reasoning to her for why they wouldn't be a good match, and that is good her. His line is good, like, look, you want magic and I don't have that. I'm too old and too grouchy and to everything.

I can't give you that. Because here's the thing, HP like, as much as I believe in the wear him down method of initial romance, I actually think that the person you're supposed to be with it. It's what Nina initially got from Alex. It's that snap and if and both people have to feel it, you know, yeah, exactly. There's an imbalance from the very beginning here.

So Nina asks after Alex says, look, I'm not magic. I think that's what you want and I can't give you that. So she asks to kiss good night, and after they have this little tentative kiss, they actually have a really sensual kiss after that, and then Nina kind of comes out of it and confirms, you know, you're right, Alex, there was no magic at all. And meanwhile Alex is like, wait, wait, do you want to talk some more? You know we can, like now the tables have turned, and Alex kind of realizes fucking idiot.

You could have had a date a week ago and she would have kissed you at the end of the night, and you would have went, Hey, wait a minute, there's this whole other part of this relationship. Nina leaves and obviously aroused Alex. He's begging her to stay, but the spell is broken and she goes home, leaving Alex presumably to masturbate furiously and put himself to sleep. So that's the that's the episode. That is uh Nina Loves Alex.

Now we're gonna talk about yellow lights. What doesn't light mean? We grade every episode on a scale from one to five yellow lights. One is the worst taxi episode. Five is the best taxi episode, and also our custom we throw it to you, fatherm alone.

What do you give Nina Loves Alex? I want to give it a two, but it's not that bad. I'm gonna give it a three. I think there's enough in here to be an okay taxi episode. You know what, No, I'm reversing that.

I take it back. There could have been something in this episode, and they squandered it. They made her perform like a fucking lunatic, and it's over cycled Bobby script and although the Louis bit in the middle that was clever, but I don't think it justifies the whole episode. I'm going to give it two stars, and the two stars are for the fucking the Louis bit. And because I like Charlene Woodard.

Sure, and I'm right there with you. I was actually gonna feign being shocked because I had a similar CRISI a little bit, but in the end, I agree with you. I gave it too Yellow Lights. This is an extremely non essential episode, and it's somewhat out of character for Alex, who has gone on and on in previous episodes about how you know he's a hopeless romantic and the whole going to Europe with the Lane and he wanted just his romance and be swept away. I think he would have maybe if she was not quite as annoying, he would have given romance a shot.

So I don't necessarily buy it he I don't know. I just did. And here's the other thing that why I gave it to. This is a minor part of the episode, but it bothered me. They kick it off with this idea that Tony's going to be part of the Neighborhood Watch, but they never ever returned to that.

That's right. We didn't even get a little bumper at the end. It's weird, like maybe he comes in and you know, it should have ended with Nina is leaving and then Tony as a hold of her and like kind of shoves her through the door into Alex and you go, you recognize this girl, Alex. I think she was trying to break into your propman. But anyway, I just thought that was odd because they could have done something with that, surely, like a runner.

Through the whole episode, they've made more with less, but they just kind of let that go then never return to it. If that made if that made room for the Louis joke, then I'm okay with not continuing with that B plot or C plot. Really, that's a fair Point's The Louis stuff is very strong, but I don't know that it's strong enough to justify another yellow light. So it's two from me, two from Father Malone. That'll do it for this episode of night, mister Walter's Father Malone.

Where can folks find you when you're not clocked into the garage? Go to midnight viewing on all your pod catching vehicles. It's a show on twice a week every Monday, HP and I either are doing a fest or Mike White from the Projection and I are talking about an anthology television series horror television series. And on Friday it's Father Malone's weekly round up where I talk about everything new and out there and just release. Father Malone is a busy bee.

What more can you do for you? He's got content. I'm on content. Here and now I'm doing it well scaring people full time. That's right, you know what?

Actually, unless you object, I would say anybody who is in Las Vegas check out Universal Horror Unleashed. Is that that's what it's called? Correct? Absolutely go there. I'm I'm a scare actor at that particular venue and it is fucking awesome.

And that's that's all I can say. But it's amazing and you're not going to find a better put on year round Haunted Attraction. It's Universal fucking Pictures for Fox's sake. For myself, as Father Malone said, where I do a lot of work, we do fests, Father Malone and myself. Von Doomfest is going on right now as we count down to Avengers Doomsday, the trailer for which just launched, and when you hear this episode, I think it'll be a couple of days old, so I'm sure you've all seen it more than half a dozen times like I have.

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