Episode 36: The Stingiest Man in Town and The First Christmas

M weird. Oh I didn't see you there. Hi? Who am I? Well, I'm Mike White, I'm the host.

What is this? Well, it's Ranking I'm beast. Started as a joke, Now it's the podcast. Wow, who else wants to do theirs? I bet you're wondering.

You're sitting down, Well I tell you the hurly burly, crazy curly story of Ranking on Bass. And I bet you're asking yourself how you got here and how I got here as well. Well that'll all be answered in the next forty five to an hour long episode of Ranking on Bass. All on the Stingiest Man in Town and The First Snow A Christmas Story, No, the first, the First Christmas, the first story of the First Christmas Snow. My title was better.

Well, it's not the first Christmas. No, it's not anybody's first Christmas. It's his first Christmas blind Richard, Well, they do go all the way back to the time times for Bursday? Or is that the juice? I think The Stingiest Man in Town actually goes back to Jesus's birthday?

Yes right, yes, yes? What's his name? What the the blind kid? Is it Lucas or something? But it's like Lucas his first Blind Christmas.

I mean, yeah, better title than that protracted nonsense we got instead. Yeah, I don't know, Okay, title aside. Okay, so stingiest man in town, a s dingiest man in town. It's taken us this long to talk about Charles Dickens and his novella A Christmas Carol and Walter fing Mathow as Scrooge Yes Recks' I'm gonna take your stocking, are gonna throw it off? The one?

And Tom Bosley as b a h humbug esquire he has a legal degree. We've had Bug with a legal degree, we just like Rudy Giuliani foug. Indeed, we've had Bosley on here before, but not to this extent and definitely not singing. So that was something. And you know, if you don't know the story of these are Scrooge, well you're scrooged.

Sorry. I love that though, be like I bit you're wondering who I am. It's like, no, I actually I dumb, not wondering who the fuck you are. I know this story. And there was no Bug.

Yes, there was a humbug. I swear to god. You know, somebody in that writer's room was just like, uh umbug he gut me O Muller. Yeah, the writer's room being Romeo Muller's den where they joint with a fat spliff. Just more about him, come on.

This is also credited to somebody named Janie Torre who did a lot of TV writing as well. But yeah, this is this has got Muller all over it. Okay. My hours of research suggests that this is based upon a nineteen fifty six British special called The Stingiest Man in Town, which of course is based on a Christmas carol but had songs and so so I think the other names involved outside of Romeo Muller are the people who wrote the songs. And I think, I mean, I don't know for a fact, but from what I could figure, those people wrote the original show that aired in you know, on British television in nineteen fifty six, and wrote the songs.

You're one hundred percent correct because she's credited as book so like a like a play, like a musical. She wrote the book for this, kind of like Costello. Okay, so yeah, so it was based on a separate different which is a little bit strange. The only reason because look, every adaptation of a Christmas Carols is you know. I mean, it's an adaptation.

It's not that hard. Romeo Muller could have done it on his own. The only reason he would depend on an existing production is for the music. So I'm assuming it was a musical. She wrote the book, the other person involved wrote the music and the songs, or maybe they both collaborate.

I don't know, but they wanted those songs, and there's a lot of songs. There's a ton of songs. Yeah, it's almost wall to wall. But I do have to say I've watched this twice now, and you know my complaint. When I'm talking about some of these musical specials that we're talking about, I don't remember the songs, But with this one, I remember some of these songs, and I was like, this is actually fairly decent.

Some of the rhyme scheme works pretty well. I mean you can see some of the rhymes coming a mile away. But it's like, yeah, these are actually effective songs. So I actually really didn't have any problems with this whatsoever. And if anything, I was really happy with the animation style for this one.

I thought it fit very well, kind of reminded me of that you know, Hobbit slash twas the Night Before Christmas style that we've seen. Yeah, obviously makes sense because Masaki is Zuka was the associate producer on here, so using the Japanese animation studios that's great. And yeah, I actually really liked the voice cast and I thought it was hilarious having Paul Freeze as the Ghost of Christmas what is it? Ghost of Christmas Present? Yes, I thought he did a really good job.

And man, Walter Mathow, what's not to love about Walter Mathow? That is true? And I you know, I thought Walter Mathow did a great job. I thought Tom Bosley, I think. I think all the voice acting was pretty great, except for the boy at the end tim or a different one.

No, the boy at the end where it's like what day is it? Boy? What day is it? Why to die? It's Christmas?

Dice, you know, and govern except it wasn't that the voice was was was this why today? It's Christmas Day? And then it's like can you go buy that turkey? What the one in the window? And I'm like, why is this voice so weird?

And then I looked it up. The voice is Charles mathow right, then son, oh funny, oh? Friends on Facebook. I should have thrown in my message and be like, hey, what was it like recording that rank and a bass special? What?

What dare's a boy? Christmas Day? So I'm walking down the street the other day and this window opens, and out of nowhere, this old guy sticks his head out the window and starts yelling at me, asking me what day it is? Like, check your fucking phone, would you? He dude?

Check your thune? Like what am I here? Assistant? What did you use? I to figure out what date is?

He sends me all the way to the other block to buy this gigormous turky and wants me to bring it to some guy named Cratchet. What the fuck is this? I'm not fucking uber eats, you know. He said, if I could do it in half an hour, give me a shilling, But if I did it in fifteen minutes to give me have a crown. Nice.

Nice to use a fucking great bit YouTube. Dig I just said, listen, I just sat. Listen. We're gonna do our own. The three of us should do a Christmas Carol and we'll divide up the roles.

Be great. I'll just I'll play all the children characters because I could do a better I could do a better line reading than that. You know, what day is it? Boy? Hey mowning every one?

And Mary lou Retton as tiny Tim whoa whoa mis So do you hear the b I mean, I don't know. My only issue with this is it's a Christmas Carol and it's like the story that's been beaten to death a million times. Oh well, okay, but you know what I mean, Like I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but like it's a Christmas Carol, even with the music, like you know what the beats are, you know what they're doing, And that's always the way it is, because it's a Christmas Carol. Okay. It's fantastic edit that somebody did.

I think it's called like one Thousand Ghosts or something like that, and it's all of these different versions of a Christmas Carol all cut together so you're like, you know, a different Scrooge and every single shot almost and it's just it's animated. It's live action, it's movies, it's TV. It's even just references. It's really cool. Well, now is the moment for me to say that a Christmas Carol is like, if not my favorite novel, it's in my top three.

I consider it a miracle of creation. It is I think it will exist longer than any other piece of Western literature, including the canon of Shakespeare. I think it is sort of a I think it works, and it is a fable, which is why it continues to beguile in every country on earth. And it will it will exist long after we are all dead and replaced by the lizard people. They will be doing a Christmas Carol.

Now, having said that movie I ever saw in my life in the theater was Scrooge with Albert Finnie. It was that one. Okay, So everyone has their favorite. Some people are like, oh, Alistair sim oh, I love George Scott. Well, for me, it's it's Scrooge, It's Albert Finnie, and it's the musical and it's those songs.

So for me, that's always the bar. Now, I know that's again, that's very personal, and it's you know, there's a lot of my personality and my sort of you know, that is my foundational text for all of Christmas is Scrooge. I came to that first, obviously, before I ever knew a book existed, so everything compares to that. Yeah, no, is this that for me? No, do they do the story justice?

I think they do. I think they do a good job, and a better job than a lot of other ones do. I think. I'm with Mike. I think I feel like the music's pretty good.

Personally, I don't remember a lot of tunes, but that's okay. I didn't mind any of them. I thought the performances were nice. Really, it's funny you mentioned the animation. The only thing I regretted and thought about while I was watching was I wish it was Ani Magic.

I wish we were watching those three dimensional you know, little creatures doing their thing. But there's so many human characters. I think it would have been tough. So yeah, I mean, obviously Ani Magic tops at all for me. And that's so what obviously through this entire show, which we're getting ready to wrap here in a couple episodes.

But yeah, Ani Magic is what we fell in love with. That's the reason why all of these specials have stuck around. And that's probably well, with the exception of some and we'll get there. But uh, you know, something like that, how scare you something like this is something I've never actually seen before, Like when we covered twas the Night before Christmas. It's like, oh yeah, I used to watch this on TV all the time.

You see, you know, all the AnimagiC stuff like the Rudolph and Rudolf Shining New Year, even some of the animated stuff like the Frosty stuff. It's like, Okay, I saw these things when I was growing up. I never saw this stingest man in town until now, And I don't know why. I mean, I mean, obviously there's the the you know, the the ones on the Hill, a Charlie Brown Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Rootolph, the Red Noss Ranger. I mean, there's the you know, the Mount Rushmore of kids Christmas specials.

But then there's a lot of others. I mean, the Mister Magoo one man that one has somehow remained and is durable and shows up and I don't love it, but this one feels perfectly acceptable. If you're just looking for Christmas programming, why not toss on the stingiest man in town? Right? At least you've got Walter math Allen Tom Bosley.

If nothing else, you can lead with that I will say, in terms of the animated ranking and bast things that we've seen that are Christmas based, this might be the best animated Christmas thing we've seen because it holds together better than Frosty does. I mean Frosty kind of. I mean Frosty for me was fine. Jack you know, Jackie Vernon's voice I think is the standout. But this, I mean, again for all of this just being a Christmas Carol.

Yeah, Christmas Carol is still, like you said, Richard, I mean, it's a fantastic story. I mean, it's there's a reason it's been adapted as many times as it has. It's not because it's a story that doesn't have a timelessness to it, because it does, and it can be adapted a million different ways, to the point where I'm pretty sure, if not this year or last year, there was a like horror action version of a Christmas Carol that came out. I'm pretty sure, you know, I don't know about that. I ended up seeing a stage production here in Los Angeles at the Aminsen, which is one of the big, you know, the big sort of playhouses in downtown LA.

And it was a new version and it was sort of a I don't know. It was weird. They rewrote the whole thing. They were adding tons of material that was not ever a part of anything you've ever seen. And I'm kind of like, who was asking for this?

And what it did was it illustrated why things why things were left out of the original, Because there are questions you have when you're watching a Christmas Carol. You do wonder, well, what was his childhood like, Like why is Scrooge like this? What the hell happened? Well, this particular production endeavored to answer all that, and then you realize, Okay, not only are these answers unsatisfying and no fun, I withdraw the question, Rob Zombie, What was it Rob Zombie that wrote that one? No no, no, no no no.

This wasn't This wasn't like an extreme genre version. This was like a new stage production, right. I'm just saying that he gave us all of this information about Michael Myers we never wanted or needed. Sounds like why the exact same thing with Scrooge here. I don't know.

I loved watching Michael Myers being abused by William for Site as his father. What are you talking about the version of a Christmas Carol that I was talking about was from the BBC in twenty nineteen, and it had Guy Pearce playing Ebenezer Scrooge and Andy Circus as the Ghost of Christmas Past, which I'm already through the door on that one. So and then Jason Fleming as the Ghost of Christmas Futures. So again, pretty big names. I like him.

I like him a lot. For me me, I grew up. The one that I liked the most, and I know this is cheesy as hell, was an American Christmas Carol with Henry Winkler as Scrooge. Okay, I can't really like that. Look that one's got the fonds.

This one has mister Cunningham. Whatever. It's nice that Tom Bosley's not playing a drunk dope because I believe that was the last time we saw him. Mike was on an episode of Night Gallery where he was just well, I'm just a dope and I need the money. You know, I'm drunk.

What was that on? Was that episode where you just like, was it the other where he gave someone his eyes where he was giving someone his eyeballs for money? Well that was Wasn't that the very first one that was the one because it was Joan Crawford buying his eyes. Yes, yeah, okay, right, directed by that Spielberg fella. Yeah, I totally forgot about that guy.

Whatever happened with him, I don't know. Huh. Wasn't that one called the World through Tom Bosly's Eyes? Looking through Tom Bosley's Eyes? Yeah, there was a whole song about it.

It was great. Everybody was doing the bass there for a while. It was crazy, yes, stumbling around without their eyes and just saying, oh, I'm a horrible afflicted alcoholic and gambling addict. Yeah, he could be charming when he wants to be Tom Bosley, but he can also play that sullen dope really well. So well, I don't think he's known for the sullen dope in Night Gallery as much as he's known for America's Favorite Dad Missed the Sea, Oh yeah, days and for selling the world lad trash backs.

Yeah right, Well, look, there was a time when you had character actors and he was one of them, and he was one of the great ones, so we loved him. Little little trivia about Tom Bosley that I'm sure you already know. Richard was the character Bosly in Charlie's Angels was originally supposed to be played by Tom Bosley. He was going to have a different name, and then when he couldn't make it, they just called the character Bosley and then guess that gravelly voiced guy that is fantastic. Yeah, I love that.

Good. Good for him he got he got called out. We also saw him in cole check the Knightstalker. Lest we forget, he was in the episode the Century. So the last broadcast episode of Colechak, the one with the lizard Man down below.

So you were already talking about lizard people, Richard, where you just kind of channeling that. Forget, I forget. I've seen that episode a couple of times. It's not my number one episode of Nights, but I forget, which I forget what he played. I guess he was sort of like he had to be an engineer.

That's all there was in the episode. People building that underground storage chamber where they where they somehow bothered the subterranean reptile creature as opposed to where they were building that thing, and Machi Manito came out and tried to kill everybody. Yeah, you know, maybe people should stop building shit. Yeah, I've interacting with the environment and see if the creatures don't come and kill you. Yeah, I'm trying to find which other thing that he did with breaking in past, because I said before that he has worked with them.

I know we're going to talk about him when it comes to Pinocchio. Maybe, oh, he was in a different Pinocchio whoa. Tom Bosley was in something from nineteen eighty seven called Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night. Damn you think that that Emperor the Night forces Pinocchio to lie over and over again. Maybe maybe it's see what Yeah, tell me a little about Rankin and Bass.

This is a Christmas special. We don't need a lot of filthy gutter talk. Just wait till your father comes up. Oh there you go. Nice, that's what he was.

Yeah, I used to watch that. I thinking on it now. I agree with you, Richard. I don't really remember any songs from this other than The Stingiest Man in Town, primarily because that's also the name of this So maybe that's why it's stuck in my mind. But yeah, I don't know.

I feel like when the bar was raised as high as it was with Frosty and Rudolf and Rudolph, you know, I mean the music from Rudolph, not just the Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, but you know, where does a couple of miss It's like that's that's that doesn't go anywhere, and it's like nothing has really lived up to it since No, And it's Christmas too. That's the problem. Anytime it's a Christmas thing, it's almost gonna get compared to it every time. Look, when you're working in this industry, you're working, and if one or two of their things, or you know, one and a half, I would say more than that, I'd say, you know, a solid half dozen become classics, you have more than earned your time on Earth. Oh yeah, Rootolf alone, right right?

Oh yeah. So the fact that they did, you know, one hundred things, and not all one hundred of them have you know, heat miser and snow miser level characters and songs. It's unfortunate, but it's not hard to understand. They lightning struck half a dozen times. Good enough for me.

Oh yeah, and this one's serviceable. I mean again, this is this is when a Look, people want Christmas programming lifetime at Hallmark. They're making fifty sixty movies a year, just new romantic comedies about people falling in love at Christmas time when they go back to their hometown and meet up with you know, the guy they didn't go to the prom with or whatever, and people just want that stuff around for about a month between Thanksgiving and December the twenty fifth. And I think this is worthy of playing silently on a TV screen while you're hosting a Christmas vaping party. Well, there was one song that I loved, which was something about like leave Christmas until Christmas and leave a little Christmas for Christmas but Christmas.

Yes, no, that's the next one. Oh, that's the next little Christmas for Christmas. Also, that's the first Christmas snow for the blind kid who's the shepherd? Yeah, say a little Christmas for Christmas? Stop your war on Christmas?

Is then the next line of that song? Oh right right? Yeah? I thought the worst were over, but I hear there's a whole new thing. Yeah, something to do with Lebanon Richard.

So why don't you take it easy? Come on, people, try have a good time. Oh uh so, yeah, let's talk about this thing with the worst title I think of. Maybe everything like this has a Flight of Dragons beat. So we want to talk about from nineteen seventy five, the First Christmas Colon, the Story of the First Christmas Snow, wow, these are both lies.

The First Christmas Colon, my first colonoscopy on Christmas. I actually thought you were gonna say, Mike, it has not only the worst title, it also has the worst poster. Slash box art slash It's it's it's cg I for some reason, but it's not CGI. It's a a monstrosity. And he just looks like a dope.

Oh my god, I mean headed wow, because it is just what though his eyes right, they couldn't do they couldn't do the blind thing at all. It's no real like just this kind of like looking off into space and you don't know that this character is blind. So if you just look at this cold, you're like, what is this guy's problem? But you're talking about the poster or the ad in the newspaper, right, I'm talking about the DVD cover. Yeah, yeah, I haven't seen the DVD cover.

I'm blind. Well, if you can go to Wikipedia, it's sitting right there. Okay, well, okay, Home Entertainment of Packaging notwithstanding I'm not going to say this is great, because it is not, but I will say I liked it, and I did not. I was it was not excruciating to watch. I've got my complaints or my observations about it, but I think this is a perfectly sweet, you know, a good hearted little special that might entertain a child and might definitely not annoy or offend an adult who likes nuns.

Yeah. I really didn't mind this. I had a better time watching it the second time because I watched a little bit of a cleaner version and that really helped, because this is going back to anti magic, so that's what I want to see. I want to see this stuff. I mean, I think the story could have been stronger.

Yes, it runs at a pretty good length. I think some of the action is a little unmotivated, especially these bullies who suddenly become not bullies. The reason why they're bullying him doesn't really make a whole lot of sense other than that he's different. He's this blind shepherd kid. Okay, I guess you know kids are Dick's all right.

But then it's suddenly like, oh yeah no, we changed our mind about you. You're okay, and it wasn't like an incident that really spurred that on, Like, you know, you didn't guide Sant slay, Like we've seen this whole bully thing happened before, but he doesn't guide sand to slay, you know. With like if you look at something like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, there's stuff that happens in the beginning that that runs through to the end. So there is an overarching story that takes you through the whole thing, and you know where you're going and what every character's goal is at all times. This is more episodic.

This is more this happened, then this happened, then another thing happened, then something else happened, and then another thing happened, and then several of those things become resolved and it ends. But there's nothing, nothing is asserted in the first five or ten minutes that tells us Okay, so here's the question we need to answer, or here's the issue that must be resolved, and then at the end it gets resolved. It's simply here's this the young boy, he's a shepherd. A tragic accident, he's struck by lightning. It blinds him.

He he you know, is taken in by nuns. It looks like he may not be able to stay. Some other stuff happens. He meets some other kids. He's very good hearted, he's not feeling sorry for himself.

He seems to be adjusting. And then and then, you know, like you said, a trick gets played. You know, some kids come along and go and it's so funny. It's like they bend over backwards to sort of indicate these aren't bad kids. It's like, hey, guys, want to play a trick on him.

Besides it, no, it will get hurt, and then it does be for a laugh and nothing bat will happen, but let's just do it anyway. So it's like, okay, whatever. So they move his sheep from one place to another, but then the sheep escape. They must be rescued. There are wolves, you know.

I mean again, for a six year old, there's probably enough going on with other children to keep you occupied and get you through to the end. There is a very warm hearted ending that is not really thematically predicted. Saccharin, but let's just say saccharin. Everything works out for this kid. So so you come to the end.

I don't know when you're my age, You're like, okay, thank god, is the kid? Okay? Just please, I can't take any more pain. Why would you take the blind kid and put him down? That kid to save that poor sheep?

Well, because this sheep isn't going to trust anyone else. He knows how he smells. My problem was, my friend, I'm watching that scene and in my mind I'm doing this whole other thing where I'm like, really, a human chain, how about this before we get in the hole, why don't all three of us jump up into your arms and let's see if one of us can hold the other three. Okay, let's see if that works. Okay, now add a sheep?

Did it work? I didn't think so, Okay, we got a problem. The human chain never works. That as a device, it never works. But as a demonstration of the ultimate goodness of the quote unquote bad kids and all of them working together to save a sheep, I'll take it.

It's Christmas. Yeah, yeah, this was very inoffensive to me. I liked hearing Angela and Lansbury. I liked hearing her sing. I liked the little cute friendship that he forms with the girl who's also an angel not literally.

Yeah, the songs weren't too bad. I thought, actually, of all the songs, White Christmas kind of sticks out like a sore thumb because it's so known and none of the other ones are. It's just like, WHOA, where'd this one come from? And I know it's said at the very beginning, you know what's white Christmas? By Irving Berlin, but it was just kind of took me back a little.

But yeah, I thought that this was serviceable and something that you know, again, don't really see this one played a lot. I mean yeah, it played first in nineteen seventy five. I was only three years old, so I definitely should have seen this in years subsequent to it. Yeah, and I never saw it. And it's funny.

In the in the in the in the Big Book of Ranking in Bass that that we all that we all hold in our hands and close to our hearts at this time of year, it has a picture I'm going to show you of a really amazing ad that ran in Variety that year. Let me show it to you. It is this thing right here, and it's Christmas season, mid seventies. It doesn't say what year, but if you can sort of see it, it's like, OK, all the specials and here's the night they're going to air, and it's like Rudolph Frosty Year without a Santa Claus. The uh, what's the night before Christmas?

It was night before Christmas? And it's just like December third, December ninth, December twelfth, December nineteenth, December twentieth, it's just like and then and then then it was probably seventy five, because I think it's the premiere. It says at the bottom right, the premiere of the first Christmas YEP, Friday, de Summer nineteenth. Yeah, And I look at that and I'm like, god, nineteen seventy five was sort of like the apex of what they were doing in terms of Christmas specials, and I would have been an amazing year too. And I'm sure I watched most of these things, and then, for whatever reason, didn't watch this one because I don't know, maybe I was busy that night or there was something else going on, and it was sort of like, what is this?

This looks old fashioned. I don't see anyone dressed like an elf. I'm out right right. I think for me that is where this does kind of hit a strange stumbling block. Is the inspecific timing and theming that seems so weird for rankin in bass.

I can definitely see that, you know what I mean. It's like there's been nothing else like this, and it's so I mean, there's like there is a Catholic priest puppet in this special, there are nuns in this special. It's it's such an odd like it's such an odd story and such an and it's like, yeah, it's a little boy, you got hit by lightning and he goes blind. Like, well, okay, I will say this. I would rather in a way, like for whatever reason, the Little Drummer Boy was something that came up every year, and I think I watched it every year.

It felt like it was like it wasn't top rank ranking on bass, but it was in there, and it was on every year and we watched it. That thing is fucking depressing and disturbing. This at least, I mean, it's horrible. Like if I was a kid and it was about a kid that went blind, I would be worried, but the fact that spoiler alert, fifty years later, if the kid regains his site would be great. Like I think I would have enjoyed watching this one repeatedly more than I ever enjoyed The Little Drummer Boy, which was pretty brutal and you know, pretty brutal ranity.

Yeah. Well, look, I'm Arabic, so I don't it's like, oh, make fun of us. I think you should make fun of Arabs. I think it's okay. I think it's still the one that's still okay.

I figured I thought it was Italian's We're okay to make fun home. That's true. Like we're basically we're not as we're not. We wish we were Italian. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm Italian, sure, with the last name like madam, Like we like the Mediterranean food.

Yeah, hummus for everyone. Oh bah. I will say the best part about the special is Angela Lansbury. I think, without a doubt, almost so much so that it sticks out. And I kind of wish she was in this one and in another one where it wasn't deathly obvious that she's the best part of it.

Yeah. Well, it's funny because even if you don't know who she is, just the authority of her voice and and the sort of steadying quality it gives to the entire production. And I think he's really good too. I like him too. So they they are and they're nice characters.

And there's never you know what I like about this is there actually isn't a lot of just sort of of you know, let's make one character a real asshole, right. Even the boys that play the trick never really come across as as aggressively bad and you know that need to be punished or something. It's not you know, it's not the it's not the kid from a Christmas story, right, you know who you're happy to see get get his face punched. These are just kids who are like, hey, let's play a joke. Okay, that was ill advised whatever ill advised.

That's a nice way of putting it. Yeah, there's a lack of maliciousness in this. I don't know. This feels just very quaint and cute. I would say that this is cute and cute.

See, you know, I don't know, it's overtly cute. See. And then yeah, the little blind child puppet is just well, the kid who voices it is right, Yeah, that kid is great. I think the puppet is hard to get around though it looks really silly. What do you wish they were just like X's drawn.

I don't know what I wish, but I wish it was better than what they did where it's just you know, just kind of the eyes, just Chamelian chameleoning for no reason. It's like, that's not how blind people are, Like what are they gonna do? Not have it be about a kid who's blind? I mean, I feel like that's the easiest. God don't just don't understand what him being blind added to any of the proceedings here.

Don't believe in Christmas? Is Jesus? You believe in spontaneous healing? Is it Christmas? J Yeah, Like that's what I don't understand this Jesus.

It's the same thing. But that's the thing though, ranking in Beast for a lot of the time made Christmas is as non Jesus as possible. And now it's like they're again like whatever your feelings are on Jesus and Christianity aside, Like it's weird that they're like, nah, we need to do a couple religious things. It's like even Little Drummer Boy I get because it's the song. This is like a whole cloth thing of like we want to have a miracle at the end and it ain't Santa Clau performing the miracle, That's all I'm saying.

Well, there's always been and ranking and bass. Look, they checked in with Little Drummer Boy, and in this one there's a Christmas pageant and they recreate the Manger scene and they do that thing. But here's what's what what I found weird was in the last one and the Stingiest Man in Town, they do a whole song about the about basically the Christian origin of I mean, the story of the birth of Jesus, which has never been a part of a Christmas carol. I'm not the first to say that culturally, Christmas has meant different things to different people in different cultures at different times over the course of many hundreds of years. You can't take this liberal agenda.

Yeah, I know this is too fucking woe for me. I'm tuning out liberal. I'm ready. I'm I'm I'm leaning far right on this, Yeah, to the east, lean and far right. Oh, I'm putting that I'm putting the war on Christmas.

Okay, good, tell me about the war, daddy. I'm putting the christ I'm putting the christ back up in this Christmasy STUFFA back in their five fingers. Uh so, yeah, and and and you know, much has been written about about a Christmas Carol being sort of a celebration of the secularization of Christmas, and and and also like we was Christmas a big deal in London when he wrote this, and it sort of was, you know, but Christmas has gone in and out of favor over the years, depending again depending on where you are and what's going on. What's interesting about the first special we talked about, Stingiest Man in Town is that it was also it was sort of produced by the Japanese studios that they worked with that did a lot of their specials, and so because a Christmas Carol has international appeal, it aired on Christmas Eve in Japan and there RP goes and get your KFC and then come back and have that Yes, right, biscuits Engravy and you're Stingiest Man in Town.

Okay, do you want to hear my theory about a Christmas Carol? Sure? Okay. A Christmas Carol, I believe is a is structured on a near death experience. It has all of the steps of the near death experience.

You have basically screwge goes through you know, a life review. He goes through a you know, a dark knight of the soul. He is met by spiritual beings, he travels with them, he leaves his body and flies through the air. If you look at the stages of a near death experience, or the sort of common elements that show up time after time, every single one of them is represented in a Christmas carol, including being dead, you know, ghost of Christmas future, coming back to life, and coming back to life transformed, which people who have near death experiences do. Come back transformed, and he comes back transformed, and he lives his life in a very very different way, which many people who have near death experiences do.

I think this is why the story has international appeal, because it speaks to a psychological journey that we are intuitively in touch with, whether we have experienced it ourselves or not. It it plays in all cultures and has played since the very instant it was written. It was a It was a phenomenon within a month of its publication. I really like that makes sense. Yeah, makes total sense.

I thought you were going to go to the Biblical road and be like, it's there. It's three years. Oh, who do you think you're talking to Yeah, that's fair. I think it was weird in the stingiest man to have biblical stuff, but here it felt like if they were going to do it, they're going to do it here and they're you know again, because I mean, on top of everything else, he's a shepherd for fuck's sake. Like, uh, maybe a little on the nose, methinks, but I don't know.

I I would not watch this or Little Drummer Boy again, not because it's the religious stuff, because there's a quaintness and a like cuteseness to this that rankin and Bass normally doesn't bombard you with, and this has that this is cute seness to kind of an unnecessary degree at least for me. Okay, well, but let me ask you a gundier head, which is how we should all watch Christmas specials. Gundier Head, do you watch this or Little Drummer Boy? This Little drummer Boy? Wow.

I think my justification is that's that's a song from a that is a well known Christmas song, and I think that story is a if you're asking a question like what is the Little Drummer Boy that answers that question in a satisfying way. This just goes. Here's some blind kid with a dog. He had Christmas one year he was could see. In between the next two Christmases, he went blind and then could see again.

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I just I struggle to understand what the idea of him being blind was about, because again, like like Mike you've mentioned, we have seen all these ranking and bass things, at least not all of them, but a fair number of them go you are different because of your nose, but that at the end of Rudolph, Rudolph is not brown nosed. Then Frosty doesn't stick around all the time like this kid gets his site back. Man, it's almost antithetical to ranking in bass and the normal way that they tell the story. The strength of the character is in them being different.

And this is like no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, it's fine, we fixed it. You cried on Christmas and your tears cured your blindness. Well, all of your complaints are legit because this does not this is not structured in a way that that where the ending feels like it answers questions that were posed at the beginning. Did he have a lack of faith? Did he not believe enough, and Angela Lansbury told him to believe, and then he didn't.

Then he did because he had to go like I could you know. I mean again, I know I say this on every fucking special, but give me a fucking afternoon and I could rewrite this and it'd be a fucking classic. Good Night, everybody, w g a strong. Are you saying that an Ai wrote this first? No, I'm just saying it's written in an odd way that that where where no one went that extra mile.

Yeah, but our main character, our main character isn't our main character. Our main character is Angela Lansbury, and this guy is just kind of there for show. Well, No, that's our that's our biggest star. But she doesn't even have a story. No, she does.

She she paints Christmas cards. I mean, here's the thing. This is one of those things where the some of the parts that doesn't exceed the whole, but the parts are are fun enough that you sort of go, you know what, I can hang with this long enough to get through twenty six minutes, and again, it's good hearted. It doesn't go into the dark places that Little drummer Boy does for good reason. It's telling its own story and it resolves in a nice way, but it's a man, it's a bitter, bitter journey.

This at least once you've seen it. It's funny, you say, watching it twice, I think I would like it even more the second time, and probably even more every other time, because when a story doesn't follow a strong structure, it's disappointing the first time. But then after that, now that you know it doesn't, now you just sit back and enjoy the details. And I think I would. So I think I would gun to my head choose to watch this special again rather than Little Drummer Boy.

Yeah, I'm just not a fan of that song of the lovel Little Durhmer Boy song. It's a little repetitive after one, and you hate Middle Eastern people. I know that about there is that too, mister White, That's right. I will say. The other problem with this that that Little Drummer Boy doesn't have the Little Drummer Boys written by Romeo Muller.

This is written by Julian Pete Gardner, who if you know who that is, that's just Jules Bass aka my fucking pseudonym. Yeah, oh fuck that shit. Yeah, So I'm pretty sure that I don't know. I have not been impressed when it's anybody other than Romeo Muller either. I think Romeo Muller really brings something to all of the things that he has worked on for ranking and bass that they were lacking when he's not there.

There's a charm that Romeo Muller has. There's just some some charm that he has that nobody else is able to replicate. Also, where's Paul Freeze and all of this just asking again, where's Paul's the last one? I was just very happy that Don Misick was in the cast doing waggles mostly. Yeah, I'm sure everybody knows.

Don Messick did a shit ton of voices, especially Scooby Doo. Right, he's he's your go to dog guy. Yep, yea Romeo Muller the like the wait, how do I phrase this? Like the most of the best ones have Romeo Muller, but not all Romeo Mullers are great, right, Oh yeah, but the great ones are Romeo Muller ones. Yeah, and more than likely music done by Maury Laws, which this did have to be fair.

Yeah, wow, I forgot how many things Don Misic has done with Rank and Bass. Of course, he was the voice of Toto in one of those oz things that we watched before Return to the King. He was three voices, including the Mouth of Saarn, Flight of Dragons. He was also in that Last Unicorn. Yeah, and I think, yeah, that's it.

So also a lot of really good ones. Yeah. Oh and I'm sorry. Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July, he was Sam Spangles. Sam Spangles character no one can forget except for me and me because I don't know what that is.

I feel like, of all the Christmas things that we've seen, this is definitely this feels like the most reaching too, Like it feels like they're out of ideas, you know what I mean. Like it just feels like this is just kind of like take it or leave it. We have all the classics and then this thing like it's it's never going to be a classic. There's not a classic character that comes out of this. No one is going I loved Lucas the Blind Young Shepherd, Like there, you know, there's no Frosty, there's no Rudolph.

And I'm not saying you have to ewokify everything and make it into a purchasable product. But when it's a holiday like fucking Christmas, it really helps. It helps, right, he says when he has a bumble bobblehead from Dollar on his desk, like and you know other things from ranking on bass that might not be for my birthday. Like no, and the year without the Santa Claus is not based on anything at all, Nope, but it has classic stuff that everyone remembers. Heat Miser, snow miser, the Santa Claus.

That's it. The entry point is Santa Claus. That's it, yeah, right, and then and then the one that is I guess Santa Claus is coming to town, which is the story of Santa Claus. Where Rickey Rooney Santa Claus, Santa Claus. What's that you say, you've never heard the origin of Santa Claus on Fred Astaire.

Let me tell you dropping off letters letters to Santa Sure I do that. That's the groundhog? What was that one? What the hell was that? Where was the ground was that?

N that was the Leprecaun one? And what's that? Like? No leper Kaun, Christmas Gold. So it was like trying to mix all of it together.

No, never heard of the Christmas gold the Groundhog. The groundhog was Jack Frost was the ground Oh yeah, right, wasn't that? Oh the little guy from the music Man b He Hack, It wasn't he? Yes, I think so. Our Carney was the voice of the Leprechaun and the Lepracauns Christmas.

Oh boy, what's that? You never heard the story of the un Christmas Blarney Killarney Christmas line, Buddy Hacket, I'll tell you your story right now. That was yeah, God, yeah, I don't know, Like, what's what's weird is given that we're like so close to the end of the show. Now this this like this had to move the needle a lot, and it was just like I watched it twice and I was like, eh, okay, Jules Bass tried his hardest to make his own Christmas special. That was memorable.

And hey man, you're part of Rankin and Bass, You're the one of the names. Is that good enough? I mean, I get I get it. I understand it as a creative As someone who wants to create, you don't want to be the guy who just facilitates everybody else making nice things and fun things and exciting things. But yeah, sometimes it's easier to be that guy because you never have to worry about the failures that you might incur, such as this, which is again fine, but it's not seared into the cultural zeitgeist like Frosty and Rudolph and so many of those other things are well well, I would say, though, I mean, I guess it sort of comes down to okay for people who have never seen these things, should they try to see them?

And I would say, yeah, check them out, to check them out. Maybe they'll become your favorite thing. Ever, maybe they'll you'll just add them to the pile of ranking and bass specials, but check them out, see if you like them. They're worth at least a single viewing to evaluate. I would say, yeah, I'd incur.

There have been worse ways to spend your time and definitely worse things that we've seen on this program. But yeah, I think these are pretty inaccuous. Yeah. I mean, if you if you're a completionist and you really want to see everything, there you go. It's it's in some box sets.

I know it's out there. I know you can buy it by it, so it's not like it's lost like some of the other things we've talked about, or some of the things that we have yet to talk What do we have yet to talk about? Well, dun't dun. Be sure to subscribe to us on your favorite platform. We will be back next month with a look at ranking Ambassa's Santa Baby, as well as an afternoon of the Comic Strip, which was a four program series four cartoons that were all bundled together called the Comic Strip.

So looking forward to that until then, Richard, what are you working on these days? Well, I'm no longer on strike, I'm just unemployed. As for me, you can find me over at Weirdingwaymedia dot com where. Because Richard doesn't want to plug anything of his own, he could plug his wife's fantastic podcast Eighties TV Ladies, but I'll do it for him because it's a fantastic show that you should be checking out right now, because if you're into eighties TV with ladies, you should be listening to other ladies talking about it. Hey, Lighties, yep, eightiesv Ladies at dot com where you can find them.

But you can find this show at all those other shows, including Scary Stories We Tell Night, Mister Walters and Noise Junkies and the projection book over weirdingwaymedia dot com. What about you, Mike White, where are you writing it right now? I'm in the basement and kink. Yeah yeah, he said basement, not dungeon. That's that's true.

Yeah. The Saint Andrews Cross has been up for quite a few years. I used it's just all my dirty laundry would end up on it. So spanking bench really good place for towels, that kind of stuff. Cool.

Yeah, so same as you. Whenningwemedia dot com, you can find all the stuff that I work on over there. Thank you so much guys for talking about ranking a bass. Thanks to everybody for tuning in. I want to thank Abby Stabby for our artwork, as well as the Great Octopus for our theme music.

Until we come back next month, be sure to rate and review this podcast wherever you get it, Tell your friends, tell your family, and please stay weird.