Episode 26: Quo Vadis + Hostage + Evaluation

What Welcome to the Life and Time So Captain Barney Miller podcast. I'm your host. Mike White joined me is the rookie mister Chris Tashee. I'm back, but only for this season and one time, and then you won't see me again for like three more seasons. I'm sure that would make a lot of listeners very happy.

Bet it would? Or are you sitting at a desk and have a flower on it? To be fair, they're both female characters, and they're both treated pretty poorly, so I guess either way is perfectly fine at this point. At least we don't have to see Lacari's husband, Thank goodness. Seems like maybe we're past that.

I guess, so fingers crossed. I mean, I guess we could always look it up, but I'd rather be surprised, kind of like how we were surprised by, you know, after we talk so much about Barbara Berry and her missing in action, and she's back. She is back out of nowhere. Literally, Barney's having some marriage problems. Who would have known?

Because well you sure didn't. Literally, who would have known? Tell me who? I'm kind of at a loss this episode because it feels like it feels like it's from a different show, like one where there has been some sort of constant interaction between Barney and his wife. I mean, is this just Barbara Berry's agent finally couldn't settle in negotiations and they said, okay, we can have her in here.

I wonder because you know what, I can't even remember the last Like, she looks so different. I almost didn't even recognize her. I think the last episode we saw her on was Social Work? Yeah, she was she like a was it during all the thing with the with Fish's kids? Oh?

Boys, we haven't been doing this that long, but it feels like a long time. The Social Worker I'm sorry, Season two, episode two, maybe the last time we maybe saw her. It sounds about it right. Barnie worries about Elizabeth's job as a social worker, takes you to a tough part of East Bronx, and Harris becomes obsessed with a master forger. So who are we on?

What aren't we talking about? Mike? What are we talking about on this episode? Because we derailed ourselves with the arrival of Barbara Berry from the stage right somewhere. It was just shocking.

We are talking about three episodes of Barnie Miller. We're still talking about the fourth season. This seems like a long season, but it's been a pretty good season. We were talking about the episode Quo Vadis, which was directed by Alex March, came out March second, nineteen seventy eight. See what I did there.

The next episode Hostage directed by Blah blah bah how Lyndon, that was released March twenty third, nineteen seventy eight. And we had a little bit of a break there and we came back with Evaluation that was directed by Noam Pitlick, and that came out May fourth, nineteen seventy eight. No April episodes, No April episodes, not in nineteen seventy eight. Apparently it probably ran some reruns sweeps week. Well, cool vadis.

Yeah, that kind of feels like we're getting a little serious here, ladies and gentlemen, to the point where they really didn't do a lot of the laugh track on this one. What was the deal with this episode? From the Ivy Bithoon character of the woman who has it, it was super serious all of a sudden. Well, yeah, it starts off very serious. You know, Barney has been shot.

It's like whoa. Before the credits even roll, we find out out that Barney has been shot. Not in no gag, no, not played for laughs, not played for laughs at all, as we should just mention this like not like Barney has been shot, Like Barney has been shot, and you're like, oh shit, what's going to happen here? We start off there's no one in the bullpen other than you mentioned missus Jacobs or sorry miss Jacobs, I should be sure to say that. And the phone is ringing and we have I'm trying to remember who the first one.

I think it's Wojo is on the scene. He brings in mister Milton or sorry Milton as his first name. He is the very very familiar face of John Dullacan, which we have seen him before on here. It's got a great voice. After this, he plays the same character every time he's on the show.

And he's on the show five more times, so six more times so Repete old Fender. Yeah, Ray, but that's his name's gonna be Ray Brewer the next time he shows up, he's already showed about three times on this show. I think he's an itinerant criminal and he is very proud of that too. He's told his wife, you know, there's long hours in this I'm gonna be away from home for long stretches because he knows that he's a criminal through and through. And I kind of like that, what does that sound like?

I don't know, tell me a cop. Uh, yeah, very strange because like you have him interacting with Barbara Berry and like works. But if you're not a regular watcher of this show, you're gonna be like, Okay, so Barbara Berry is a big part of the show, right, She's not. It's just weird because like they make such a big deal of her in this episode and then she's like, fuck's right off back to wherever again. This is her second to last time on the show.

She's not even in the final episode of the show. I would contend she should have never been in this show. Understand as do you, and appreciate why they did include her in the early seasons. But I think, as I think we both would agree, it's pretty obvious they don't need anything outside the station, right exactly. I mean, I think Otto talked to us about that last time, where you know, the life and times Barnie Miller just became Barney Miller and there is no life outside of the precincts, so Liz is just an inconvenience at this point.

So let's go ahead and trimm that loose end. I suppose, but I don't even know we needed that loose end to be trimmed, right, And I completely agree. I would have been perfectly fine with just never hearing from her again. Let's just assume she's gone, not gone, but like off doing her own thing, unless they are going to make room for potential romances for Barnie going forward, and they had to have that, you know, sign off to say like, this is out of the picture. It's okay for Barnie if he goes on a day occasionally, but we already have Wojoe going on dates.

Is that where they left it? No? No, I think how they wrap this because I didn't feel like should have done that. Frankly, you said she's coming back right one more time, right, And I feel like sometime between this appearance and the next appearance, there's going to be, Hey, we've got some papers for you to sign, Barney. That's my guess.

Description for the next episode gives it away, So we'll leave it at that. But I would you would be seemingly correct in that respect. Respect and you know what, good But I think to your point, yeah, it's like, do we really need this? She shows up so infrequently at this point it doesn't even matter, like nobody, nobody cares, really, And that's to no detriment of the show at this point, because the show doesn't need her character and it shows because when she is in the show, it's like, why nobody cares? You have no interaction with how Lyndd at this point, you have no chemistry with him because you have not been here for any of this for the longest time, to the point where the precinct doesn't even look the same anymore.

There would be characters at the preescinct. She would have no idea who they are, how to interact with them. Like Levitt is there and he came post Liz, I believe, So Jack, Sue is gone, Fish is gone. I mean, there you go. I mean that's three distinct changes, and Landisburg is there.

So that's four distinct changes that she would have no idea who they are. But in spite of all that, this is a pretty good episode. It's interesting that this episode is very serious. I mean There are some lasts throughout here, but this episode feels as serious as Woejoe's problem should have been on a very special episode of Barney Miller. The plot outside of Barney being shot.

We keep mentioning it, but we haven't explained it. He got grazed by a bullet on his finger. Shot in the finger. I guess is that enough for Liz to be anged agree about. I don't know if she's angry at him for that.

She's just angry because he works all the time. It's what it feels like, which I never even got the sense was the case in this show. It's weird, right, It's a very strange episode because her in her involvement. It drags the episode down because it's so weird. Yeah, because the other stories are kind of decent, you know, the whole thing went Milt and then the thing with the lady.

So the old ladies there wants to file a complaint because the art art seller down the street is showing obscene paintings, and then you find that it's not obscene pictures. You know, it's not like our typical like we're going to go you know, like a two episodes from now where they're going to go bust a porn shop. It is, you're not smart peddlers, right, yeah, these are like your titians, you know, your regular kind of regular, regular, classic art kind of thing. But and it took me a long time to figure this out. The painting is actually of her when she was a much younger woman, and now she's offended seeing this painting.

I guess it's kind of like this what could have been in my life before? And now she sees this and it's a symbol of, you know, what didn't happen with her life and everything that she's lost, And so she actually defaces the painting of her and causus this big row. And of course it's this, you know, the art gallery owner versus the old lady kind of thing, and which we've seen before, right, And I think this is the one where Landisburg actually calls out Barney a little bit to be like, I see, how are you doing that? You know, having these people solve the problems on their own rather than you stepping in. And I like your style, but that is kind of Barney's bread and butter with this show, is it not?

The whole thing in this show is Barney is just the facilitator. He's always the straight man, is clearly to his character's detriment. Now now he's a going to be a single guy because he I guess he's just too good of a cop, Mike, He's just too good of a cop. You're making the rest of us look bad. I don't know why Levitt is in Detective get up pieces saying may the Force be with you.

Oh my god, that was weird. May the Force be with you? What is this a Marvel movie? And it's all most It's ten months after Star Wars came out, so it feels like a weird, almost dated reference at this point. It feels dated in two twenty two.

Oh that's for sure. But but if you know, but like yeah, I can only imagine how dated it felt then, I am your I guess that would have been. That wouldn't have been then. This was like, this was cultural phenomenon Star Wars, not Empire Strikes Back. Star Wars.

This is like where everybody and their mother saw Star Wars, and then some people were just like, it's just a funny little space movie. It's very weird. I guess it just goes to show what a cultural phenomenon Star Wars was as if we didn't know that, right. This episode feels off kilter insofar as the stuff with the old lady and the art seller, I mean, it's it's a B plot, and then the stuff with Milt is a C, and then the stuff with Liz is a but it doesn't deserve to be a It doesn't deserve to be a and it doesn't feel like it has as much weight as an A plot should have. Well, it's left in a way that doesn't even wrap up, like what the fuck even had what happens?

Oh, it'll get resolved next season at some point. The next time she shows up is so far from now it's appearance doesn't matter. And again, like you said, now, they have essentially sacrificed two episodes to this because there's another episode coming where again something else clearly is going to happen, and then we'll finally see what happens to Barney after the thing with Liz. But that's not until season five, episode twelve, fucking another season from now. Essentially, Oh my god, nobody cares this much, even I the person who is crowing the much about Barbara Barry at this point it's like you waited too long?

Who got a wild hair up their ass? Theodore Flicker was like, I just gotta bring him back. Like I don't like who had a wild hair up their ass about this? That's what it feels like, right, Like this one was written by Douglas Wyman and Tony Sheen and teleplayed by Tony she and so I guess Tony maybe or maybe it was Danny just saying these are people that write on the show all the time, right exactly, Well, yeah, Sheen and Luigi are like two of the main guys. So again, it's like, this is not just like somebody came to the show and was like that one character that you had, I'd love to bring him back.

It's like a person who worked on the show regularly. So very very strange. I felt like this this episode should have taken place in like season three. I mean, it's like, you remember how I posited a long time ago. There's probably like a big board of story ideas where they're like, Okay, we can have the forger mixed with the you know, the little old lady who does this, mixed with you know, Levitt having problems with his shoes or something.

And then and they probably just had one that says like resolve Liz storyline, and it just got kicked down the road like you can, until it finally came back to this and they're like, Okay, yeah, let's do this up and let's end it differently than we end every other episode, where we're going to have the credits roll over Liz's face and it's gonna be super somber, no music, nothing, just we're gonna have her. They're distraught on a very special Barney Miller. I felt like it was doing Barbarbarry a disservice with this. I feel like it did everybody in disservice because a they introduced the character only to waste her anyways. But I mean, at least Barbarbarria was getting credit for a while.

But she doesn't even get credit anymore. That's I think since this previous season or this season, she doesn't. I think it since been season three she hasn't gotten credit. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, it's weird. It felt like a throwaway idea and yeah, no, she didn't deserve this, and it's just weird because it's like, well, you haven't seen me for a while, but guess what offscreen.

Barney and I have been having marriage troubles apparently for the last two and a half years, and it's like, well, Barney has been acting rather calm about that all this time, so he must not have cared or this was just super fucking shoehorned in and it really sucks. And that's what it really is because Barney, like the character of Barney Miller, I would like to believe, would not let that happen with his wife, because we've been led to believe that that's not the kind of character he is. We saw the relationship that they had. It was our loving relationship. They were intellectual equals.

He treated her rather nicely, right, better than Fish treated his goddamn wife and this show, that's for sure. So it is weird, Like you said, they'd done her a massive disservice. So let's talk about hostage. Yes, let's please hostage another kind of an odd episode. This one feels like it was also trying to be a little bit of a very special episode, but they kind of didn't go through with that.

So we've talked about on Kalfa on this program before, and don Kalfa he is back and he's playing Leon Biddle a again habitual criminal. This is his thing, man. I mean we have two episodes with these two habitual criminals, and his brother's not much better that we have seen. Also, Oliver Clark, who plays Verne Biddle, he has shown up before. He was for a thief Charlie Yusick in the non involvement episode.

He's going to keep coming back. He's one of these great character actors where you just see them all the time. I remember him being in Oh Gosh, Seeing Elsewhere for a long time. He was called something like John Doe number six or something. He's a great act I really like him a lot, and them together I think really works out well.

So yeah, don Kalfa. At one point he gets his phone call and he calls his brother in order to have his brother show up and basically take the entire precinct or sorry, the entire bullpen hostage, and rather than just escape, he decides he's demanding all this stuff. It's like you could have run out the building and had no problem because he locks them all in the one tiny little jail cell. But no, he has to get like be a hotshot or something. Characters acting strangely dun Calfel was just like, give me all these things.

It's like, you're just like a common thief, dude. What but man Don Calfel with that hair. And I love Don Calfa a lot. I mean, he's in my favorite zombie movie, Returning the Living Dead, and he turns in a great performance there. But he's just like you mentioned, he's a great character actor and this is I mean, this kind of role you need, kind of an actor who can look the part of someone who is not crazy but looks it looks kind of deranged.

And his eyes are great. He's got those great eyes. So yeah, no, he's fantastic. And the guy who plays his brother just plays like a harried really well and just kind of like, uh, like, what have you gotten me into this time? I'm trying to remember was he a sex addict in a previous episode like the I'm trying to remember because like I said, he's been in here a couple but the when he was Charlie Usick in the non involvement episode, I'm trying to remember what that character was.

That was one that had a bunch of people on in it, because that one also had Alex Hintelov as Rippner. I feel like it that had to have been it because he looks he looks like the character that I remember being a sex addict, right, okay, Yeah, and like he's got the guy who was a flasher or somebody is like his sponsor and the sex addict group or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that. This is a this is another weird, serious episode. Then you have the offset all of that.

You've got what's his name, Earl Town as a ventriloquist and it takes a dark term. You've got Alex it's a real darctor. Yeah, Alex Elias in here, who we just talked about recently because she was in Citizens Band. She was the one who was negotiating between Charles Napier and the two wives that he had married. She was the prostitute in the RV.

Right. So this is band has come up a lot this year, like a lot of like reach out Candy. We just watched something that just watched Amityville that had Candy Clark in it. Yeah, so she was being hit on, I guess by this ventriloquist dummy. We don't really get the whole story with that.

Thankfully, I might say yeah, because I'm not a big fan of ventriloquists. I mean, this ship goes particularly dark in like a really weird way, Like I was not expecting how dark, because again, like this is a on a very special Barney Miller, but this is like on a very special because it's just what so Earltown is like dissociated completely into the puppet. It's pretty dark shit, guys, and Dietrich is fascinated by the way that the id has moved into the puppet and basically tries to talk Earl Town into killing the puppet. And you're almost led to believe successfully at the end for a few minutes. Yeah, and then it gets even darker after that.

Yeah, because then the puppets like gurgling, drowning, asking calling for help. It's so strange, I know. But this is the introduction of Officer Roslyn played by Mary Gorman, who is not the introduction I remember we saw her two episodes ago, right, okay, but this is actually kibbing stuff to do. Fine, yes, yeah, to your honesty. Forgot she was introduced before, because like she doesn't do anything, but she's great here.

She's really good, like without that husband character weighing her down. She's given some stuff to do, that whole thing of her having a flower on Nick's desk. So by this point we kind of answered around this with the last episode, Levitt is sitting at Nick's desk and this one Lacori is sitting at Nick's desk. So yeah, Jack SUS's not doing too well, which we kind of mentioned on the last episode. Yeah, so I had lunch with Auto the other day just to wave that in your face, and he and I got Auto's book finally.

Just yea, we confirmed to our audience that miracles do come true. Yay, that's great as of today. I got it in the mail this afternoon. Perfect. Yeah, I was waiting for me when I came home, and it's said on the inside cover, go fuck yourself, Chris courtesy of Auto Bruno.

Man, I didn't check for an inscription. Oh, you're disappointed. There wasn't one, got it, all right? Not that he told me to go that you were told to go fuck yourself as well. I'm joking.

I'm joking. So yeah. He says that Nick will be back next season for a few episodes, but he's Jack Sus not long for this world. I'm not even looking forward to that. I recently watched Three from Hell, the Rob Zombie film, and it featured Sid Hague in his last screen role, and it is one scene at the beginning of the movie.

And when we talked about that episode on the Culture Cast, we kind of posited that maybe it wouldn't have been in the best interests of the filmmaker to include something like that, because it might not be in the best taste of the craft to be doing that. Again, it's moral compass. He shit, I mean, it's it's opinion. I'm worried that we might be treading into that water with Jack him or Jack Sue. He didn't look a great before, unfortunately, because we kind of taught we touched on that last episode because yeah, now he's just he's just gone.

He's gonna be gone for the rest of the season. We're yeah, it's gonna get rough, especially the last episode of season five that's tear Jerker Man, is the last episode of season five, the tribute to him. Yeah, man, I'm not looking forward. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not because I'll tell you, man, we're coming up on the end of season four of this show. We're past the halfway point.

Because to think about it, Like the show is so drastically different at this point. I think we're essentially what Jack Sue not being there, Like we're what the show will be from here on out, essentially. I wish Mary Gorman would have stuck around longer. I really like her in this show. She's really she's great.

There's that perfect note that she's playing as that police officer, and it's just like she hits it perfectly where it's just like she's trying to stay out of everybody's way but also bring a little bit of herself to the to the precinct. That's like, good luck with these jokers in there, especially like well johoeitz Man, Like what is going on with his character? He's like he's regressing just and next episode it's just I can't like. Next episode is just the way it starts is just strange. There's weird like flirting that she's doing when she's talking about you know, call me Ros and then she's like you can depend on Ros for damn near or anything.

And I'm just like, was that like a sexual thing? And then later on just a bizarre joke. I fucking love it though. When Dietrich slept talking about her ring her wedding ring. That's a nice ring.

Get from your husband. Landisburg, man, he is always looking for ass. Okay, remember the woman with amnesia, the fucking nun. Yeah, yeah, blood in the water baby. Landisburg was ready.

He was ready to just chomping at the bit. I like, there's a quasi cameo from Cogan. He calls from downstairs. We don't see him, but Cogan's back in a sense, we haven't seen him since God Like first couple episodes of the first season we played by an actor whose last name was Cogan. And hey, James Gregory is in this episode.

It's lug because of course he had to be in the episode opposite the Ventriloqui was dummy. Hey Annie, look at this weirdassed down Look it's stocking. Like, okay, I'm here for this. Sure that stuff works for me. Yeah, but that's because, like James Gregory should have had his own How the fuck did he not get his own spinoff show?

James Gregory, Yeah, give it to Fish, I get it. But like, James Gregory is such a fun part of this show now that like, whenever he shows up, I'm just like He's a welcome, welcome part of the show, which is so funny because we were just hating on him the first few times he showed up, and now it's like, no, no, give me a whole Luger show. Give me Frank Luger just wandering around the neighborhood, going out, seeing that cashier over in Queens, you know, like all of that kind of stuff. Why not? Right?

As much as I hate saying this, I've also somewhat turned a corner on Levitt. Oh my, I think maybe have you? I think I'm pretty close. Yeah, So let's talk a little bit about the next episode. The next episode is all about the name of the episode is evaluation.

So this whole thing of Barney giving people their evaluations is kind of a through line. But Levitt older Levitt. Like the first few times we saw Levitt, he would have been insufferable in that position, right, and just like, oh, I'm doing a really good job, aren't I? Barney and you know, or Captain Miller just all this, he would have been Oliver. But instead it's a joke for each one of them to kind of confirm with Barney that they're doing an okay job.

And so Levitt saying that in the episode, I'm like, oh, okay, well it fits in with everybody else. He is now part of this group. He's not the outsider from downstairs who's a pain in everybody's ass. He's still a prick, but that's now a fun prick. But man, Mike, we didn't I didn't even you haven't even mentioned yet, Robert Libertini, come on, just keep showing up, Richard, Richard, excuse me, Richard Libertini.

Just keep showing up and stuff we've been watching. I love Richard Libertini. Look at that facial hair. He has no facial hair. Weird, right, I'm so used to seeing him with facial hair.

As we're recording this, I'm about to drop our episode on Popeye, which he's in. And he was a comedy partner of one of the guys that I interviewed McIntyre Dixon. So like talking about Dixon's like they would have to separate us in different groups and stuff because we were on such a wavelength with each other that we could like finish each other sandwiches kind of thing. That it was just like Libertini Dixon, you two split up. I'm surprised Dixon never made it to an episode of Barney Miller, but Libertini being here as twelve to twenty three and all of his numerology things, I was so there for it.

Yeah, I'm with you. I'm a huge fan of Richard Libertini. It's funny. It always cracks me up. His I amd be picture is from Fletch Lives, which is the lesser of the Fletch films.

But at the same time, like it cracks me up because that whenever I think of him, that's exactly the way I picture Richard Libertini is as the shoeshine from Fletch Lives. And no, I'm not kidding, but in this in this episode, he has no facial hair at all, so he looks different from his normal look. But when you hear his voice, you know it's him. For me, he will always be the character that he was in all of me. He was some sort of like Swammy Guru type guy.

And the spirit of Lily Tomlin escaped from this bowl. So there's this whole thing of like, can you put a winner back in the ball? Boy? Yes? Name, what do you mean?

Oh, you have to fix the ball you put I like him a lot. He's he's a really good character act oh fuck yeah, yeah yeah, and him just like, oh, they're trying to suppress you. And I'm I'm changing my name to twelve twenty three because it all lights up to seven and that, you know, and I'm just like, my name is Quwanon. I mean, yeah, it's it's that level. But it's funny because like it's the end of the episode.

There's a pretty good punchline where it's like, you know, courtroom forty three, nine thirty nine thirty, that's not good for me, right, that's not spiritually good for me. And it's like, dude, that's not how this works. Glad they didn't give him the A plot though, because I don't think there was enough there. But I also don't think there was enough there with the story that they did give the A plot. Before we talk about the A plot, let's talk about the C plot, which is going back to Roz and that's Woejoe walking in on her while she's in the bathroom.

So what you're talking about with his regression, that's very like elementary school typejote. Yeah, oh I saw you naked. I guess. I mean, she's she's either sitting on a toilet. I don't imagine she's changing her clothes in there.

So he made he saw her sitting on a toilet. Yeah, he saw what a thigh or something. Okay, I can't even imagine what, Like, what would he have seen that was salacious? She just got naked, That's what it was. She's waiting for wo Jehoas to show up.

She goes to the bathroom, like George Costanza goes to the bathroom, just takes everything off. He likes likes the freedom. Jerry likes the freedom exactly. Oh my god, I was just I wasn't waiting. I don't know.

It's fucking strange, Like it's what a weird way to open the episode, And of course there's more tension around Ras and it's just like, what do we do? You know, there's this woman in the precinct. What are we doing? Da da da da da. I can't believe they went back to this goddamn well again.

I know, yeah, I know, we settled. We don't need this anymore. It's like the show has regressed in these three episodes for real. I mean, with the reintroduction of Barbara Berry to like Wojehoa's being like t he I might have seen Bush, like nobody cares. Oh, we forgot something very important with the last episode, which is that Harris found an apartment.

Right, he doesn't live with Landisburg anymore. What floors in a balcony, and he manages his big thing about being caught in that jail cellus that he needs to get out in order to call back like the real estate agent or whatever, the landlord in order to secure that. And in this episode he's meeting with a literary agent, which we haven't heard about his writing in a little while, so since like season two maybe three. So I was glad for that that he's back there. Yeah.

I think last time we heard he had sold that short story to a magazine and was pissed off about that because they changed it, right ramantic cleff. Is that what they call in the X Files. Yeah, the whole thing with the cigarette smoke of man's like that exact same storyline. I don't know. I mean, they've kind of mentioned it a couple of times now, But it's odd like some things that kind of are deeper cuts from the show are representing themselves in these last couple episodes, and I kind of don't understand why because they don't necessarily go anywhere because they a plot.

So that is Woe Joe and Dietrich going to the Garden of Earthly Delights, which I'm glad that Dietrich points out that that's a bosh painting and it is a porn shop, oh my gosh, pornography run by a little old lady and a little old man. And it's so funny because I just watched a documentary just a few months ago about some porn shop I think it was over on the West Coast run by a family, and just that's the family business, is this adult bookshop, And so this story again, I was just like, okay, yeah, this is a real thing. Guys. People need to make a living. And so then the kids are all offended that their parents are working at the shop, and it's just like, who gives a shit?

Come on, guys, just you know figure it this. It would rather than be a gun store, That's how they reacted, Like you would rather be any like selling pornography at this point in time is tantamount to being a heroine peddler. Like that is the way these people react. I feel like the kids just aren't characters. No, they're clucking their tongue like don't you dare own a porno shop?

Like fuck you, you morally righteous turn like are you gonna pay my bills? Then shut the fuck up? Like it doesn't land, and it's too bad because Kay Medford and Eugene Elman and everyone involved is like wasted, criminally wasted because they're given nothing to do. Again, resolves itself by Barney just like leaning on them and being like, hey, you're gonna have to do all this stuff now, you gotta do all this paperwork. So if you don't want to do the paperwork, don't prosecute your kids.

It's like, I mean, it's an interesting bookstore in that they have a lot of whips there. I mean, they have a whole box of whips. I was kind of hoping that they would have a big old box of dildos and pull out dildo and be like, oh, this is the Wolt Chamberlain and this over here is the very Bird or it. Just like I think, of course that's way too risque for nineteen seventy eight television, but that would have been way funnier had they done that. And like really talked about the ins and outs of running a porn shop and the difficulties of it.

But it's an honest living. We're doing a service for the people of New York. Give us a break here, kids. Some people gotta cells, you know, oranges and apples on the street corners. Some people so porno.

God bless the porn industry. Really, there was that whole war on porn in the seventies in New York though, so this is kind of right in that ride in the Wheelhouse of all that kind of morally righteous bullshit that everybody had to put up with. Yeah, this was that documentary Killing Us Softly. I think, No, that was about advertising. There was another one where it was like Andrea Towerkin and the whole Yeah, the war on porn.

This is obviously twenty years for Juliani does this whole cleanup of Times Square. But yeah, there's already that negative you know, well obviously it's been negative for a lot of decades about pornography, but yeah, it's already like, oh my gosh, you're New York is a hotbed of you know, filth and depravity. It's a hive of scum and villainy and you know, they've kind of touched on that in this show a couple of times. I'm glad that they didn't go like full on that version of New York. But again, we don't really see outside of the precinct anyways, So it's kind of again, this show doesn't really exist in New York anymore.

It kind of feels like it exists outside of reality in its own kind of because again, we never see what's on the other side of that door. You know, we don't even see what's on the other side of the bathroom door. We can't even see the wall that they see that they're looking at that we are, like, you know what I mean, Like this show exists kind of outside of reality at this point. But it's interesting when the show tackles some kind of real world. But I feel like the show has felt rather disconnected from what I would consider New York of the time.

It's felt rather disconnected from that for a while now. Again, like the way the show is shot and everything else, that's it's to be expected. But yeah, the whole porn o thing, it's like, this self righteous shit has no place in I don't think it has any place in society at least a society where people have to make a living. So, yeah, they're not breaking the law. They're actually not.

It's just you don't like it. Now if they got into the whole thing of like, oh and we have to give so much money to the mob every month, or we are a front for the mob and we are laundering money through here, or you know, you buy pornography in the front, and you can buy some heroin in the back. But that's not the case. If it is, they don't talk about it. And so okay, Medford says as much.

Yeah, but let's just assume these are real, honest, hardworking Americans that are running a pornography shop. Okay, Medfords is like, we used to sell oranges and apples. Now we sell porn books. You know, we're peddlers, we're merchants. What do you want from us?

It's like I get it, okay Medford. Yeah, she's an amazing actress and yeah she and the man that play her husband. You're right, they are wasted in this. I think anybody in the A plot is wasted because again they just don't do anything. Yeah, and it's it's a weird turn because the kids are brought in and it's like, well, we think that these people are stealing from you.

It turns out it's the kids, I guess stealing from them. I guess. Like they never really addressed that. It's like, what were they doing? They never really addressed what they were doing.

They'd just say, like, you're in trouble for looking like you're stealing. What were the kids gonna do? What were they gonna do? Like, what were the kids gonna do? Take the stuff and dump it in the garbage?

Like I don't even get what their plan was. When this episode was over, I was just like, what was the resolution here? It didn't feel like this one was wrapped up very nicely at all. They go, well, don't do that again. Okay, even the stuff with Woe Joe and Ross, it's like, okay, they just kind of come to an understanding.

It's like, are right, I will look at you, you will look at me, like that's kind of okay. Don't check out this ginormous bulge in my pants roz We Polish policemen are known for our massive organs. We're known for our Polish sausages. What a weird opening to this episode. The Libertini thing is the only thing that actually gets wrapped up in a satisfying way.

It's the only thing that really lands in this episode, and it's the b plot. Yeah, it's weird because you know, we mentioned earlier, this has been a pretty strong season. Yeah, the last three episodes before this one pretty good. I mean, obviously the rape episode was a little questionable, But is it weird with that episode in this season that they treated it so strangely and then they treat these so seriously. It's like, you guys know that the one of these things is not like the other, like so much not like the other that I don't even understand how you could perceive it that way.

The importance that's put on certain things at the time are just kind of shocking to me as a twenty first century adult. So next time we talk, we're actually going to cover four episodes. Two of those four episodes is a two parter. We are going to kick off the fifth season with a two parter called Kidnapping. We're going to wrap up the fourth season with the sighting and Inauguration, So we're going to get into a little bit of Ed Koch coming in.

How am I doing? And we're going to get into woe Joe, I bet it won't go anywhere. Is Kenneth Teagar in that episode that trot his ass out for all the weird metaphysical stuff? Here he is again. Oh you've seen one two where Wolf.

I'm becoming aware Wolf, all right, kid a tea guard whatever. And then with the kidnapping episode, it is all the kids that live at Fish's house, they've all been kidnapped. No, I'm just kidding. I wish I wish that was the fucking plot. I wish they're dead in a dumpster exactly, just like that show apparently is because when when would we have?

When will we cover? Will we cover Fish? Should we? I mean, if we're going to do it, we need to do it soon. We need to have Auto back on the show so we can talk about his book.

You're right, we do need to talk about Fish. But it feels like, yeah, yeah, we're not going to cover the entire We'll do like one episode of our show's worth, like the first three episodes if we could find them, just not just something to like acquaint ourselves with it, because like I want to know what it was. I have a vision in my head of how bad it is, but I don't think it's nearly that bad. But there isn't enough. There isn't enough for us to know, and honestly, I don't really care enough to find out.

I would like to know some, but don't need to have myself inundated with Fish all two seasons of it. I'm going to propose this that we do if we can find them, Like obviously we can find Fish season one. I'm going to propose that we do Fish season one, episode one, Fish Season one the final episode, Fish season two, episode one, and Fish Season two the final episode. Now it's just a matter of finding those episodes. So we had a way, and I need to dig through my information.

Someone on our Facebook group was very kind and emailed us and let us know that we can watch these through a Canadian streaming service or something, or through their website. So good for us. So if we can get those, I think that would be a good way to see how the flow is because we can just probably fill in the blanks the rest of the time. Well, and again, this is our twenty per century TV brain talking when it was probably not chronological in any fucking form or fashion. These episodes are probably the only ones that are because I have a feeling that that last episode of the second season, they probably didn't know that they were going off the air.

I would almost guarantee it. Abe Vagota probably thought, I I have a sure thing, sure thing. You know what was it? Your thing? Barney Miller?

That was a sure thing? It was you fucked it up, and you fucked it up. But again, as we come to the end of the fourth season, I'm glad he's gone because I like this chemistry now. Yeah, and I'm very curious, like, you know, when we get to that next episode of the Life and Time so Captain Barney Miller podcast, how's that fifth season going to even start? You know?

What's what are those opening credits going to be? Like? Are we done messing with the opening credits? No, because at some point season six, Nick's not going to be in there anymore. So what's going to happen?

But I'm curious is they're going to be different opening you know, new characters. How is this going to run? So the whole world is just out there waiting for us to discover at Chris. Yeah, season five, man, I'm excited. I'm very excited because even though these episodes have kind of been not duds, but just kind of tonally strange in comparison to the way Season four had been going.

Season five maybe could be what we were hoping more of season four was going to be. I don't know. The show. I mean, maybe towards the end of the show is trying to do something the season, trying to do something different just for the sake of being different. I don't know.

The next two episodes, maybe we'll give us a better idea. But maybe this is the tone of the show moving forward. I don't know. That's kind of the again, like I see your face and your reaction, and that's my reaction. But at the same time, like maybe that is the case.

I don't know what Auto've written a whole book about a season of TV that was nothing but quo vadis and evaluation. I don't think so. I don't think so. He's not either. I think he would have found better things to do with this time also that so yeah, we'll see if we can.

Obviously, I think we're going to come back from that. That's my feeling, my hope, my dream. But in the meantime, while I dream about that, Chris, what is happening with you at the Culture Cast, Sir, So in July are good friends. Richard and Cullen are back having programmed an entire month of Charles Bronson movies. Yeah, so Death Wish, I think is the last movie that we're watching.

But everything else is things that I have. I mean, I've never seen any of them, which is at at this point, Like that's kind of the fun thing about my show was I have not seen any of these things at this point. Like I like picking stuff, but most of the time, even when I picked stuff, it's like, it's not things that I've seen before. Charles Bronson movies all in July, are you covering Telephone? No, but Cullen mentioned it it's my favorite Pronson.

Well, well, well maybe we'll do a Patreon just me in you because it's like a is it like an espionage movie or something? Okay, that's what I thought. It's close because they used the telephone as a murder weapon. And oh I know that fucking Tarantino took because it's a Robert Frost poem. I think it is that triggers these people.

And then for some reason, it didn't make any goddamn sense that Tarantino took that same line and used it in one of his stupid movies. I think we can amp up our hatred for Quentin Tarantino now that we're going to be competing with him. Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah, be sure to subscribe on Stitcher to the new Quentin Tarantino Roger Avery Podcast. We will be sure to invite them onto the show.

Sometimes it's actually getting called the self suck Fest, where we just suck ourselves for I get Chris next month when we meet. Let's just have a whole bump of cocaine ready to go, just doing rails, and we'll just talk about Barney Miller the entire time. I can't put my finger on it, man, but I just like it a lot. What Mike, You Mike, Where can people find you when you're not here? You can always find me over at the Projection Booth, which is available at projection boothpodcast dot com.

In July, where Peas Grow I will be talking about some science fiction films. So sure to be a pleasing month for some of the audience. Maybe we can get those numbers back up after a disastrous outing. Wonderful discussions, great interview with our Soviet cinema month. Between that and some real fuckery with iTunes, I'm in the toilet, ladies and gentlemen, my numbers are way down, So come on back to the projection booth.

It's safe. We're not going to talk about Kira Moratava anymore. We're going to talk about some good old American science fiction. It's just become the Star Wars podcast. It's just the start.

We're just covering all Star Wars all the time. Baby, Come on back. We're covering the films of Michael Bay on the projection booth. Now we're gonna be talking about Ben Kenobi, Chuck Kenobi, Jerry Kenobi, all the Kenobi brothers, oh Aggie, Ben Doggie