Episode 27: The Sighting + Inauguration + Kidnapping

What I got better things to do with my money. Welcome did the Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller podcast. I'm your host Mike White. Joining me is the rookie Chris Stassue. I saw it in the Skies.

I saw it in but I still hate prostitutes, but I still hate him. Who it needs a fuck? He's a woo saw moment. My friend A couple of them also coming in. It's the lieutenant, mister Otto Bruno.

I don't even know if there was lieutenants. Yeah, sure, why not? There is? Now there is on this show. Yeah.

That Chris is so isn't he so cute? And he's so naive? He doesn't he understand that? Woejoe loves the prostitute? Oh, is that what it is?

It's just it's reverse psychology. Is that what it is? Well, he certainly ends up being drawn to them. All that's true, that's true. But then then he sees aliens.

So did you ever hear the phrase he doth protest too much? I mean that's fair, that's very fair. Oh yeah. On this episode, we are wrapping up season four of Barney Miller and starting season five. Season four ends with episodes twenty two and twenty three.

That's The Sighting, which was released May eleventh, nineteen seventy eight, and Inauguration, which was released May eighteenth, nineteen seventy eight. Take a little summer break and then come on back for Kidnapping, which is a two parter. We'll talk about that as we go along, which was released September fourteenth, nineteen seventy eight. So let's talk about the Sighting, gentleman. I was so surprised that we didn't have somebody in here that believed that they were captured by space aliens, because we are getting into I mean, this is uh not too far after Close Encounters of the third kind.

We are definitely in the throes of UFO mania in the United States. And wouldn't you know what jehoas happens to see a cigar shaped ship above what was a long island if you know Staten Island, Staten Island. If you, gentlemen, were using um Barney Miller in the files of the Old One too as your wife as your episode guy, Yes, yes, Chris, I too, am a whore. I was like, fuck, this is the second thing you're saying. I was.

I was honestly expecting it to be the first. I absolutely love this may too. I'm right here, I'm here for it. In the episode Guy, on page three sixty five is the sighting, and on page three sixty six it says close Encounters, and I quote this episode premiered roughly five months after Close Encounters or the Third Kind came out. Nice, wow wow, But do you quote the fact that this episode is missing an integral part of the now trio of these kinds of episodes?

Where is fucking Kenneth Tigar? Right? T Gar? Where's he at? He was in the Werewolf episode, he was in the ghost episode, and now we have an alien episode which essentially posits that Dietrich is an alien which I totally believe is actually the case now in this show, which explains a lot.

But where's Kenneth Tigar? That's all I'm asking. That's the question that you should be asking in your lovely book by Bearmannermedia dot com. Where you can get this book right now, and you should because it's really good. And you know what, there aren't enough six hundred page books about Barney Miller out there, folks.

This is what you want to be reading. If you're a fan of Barney Miller. I agree. Who I'm a fucking whore bro, I don't care. Well, wait a minute, wouldn't this make you my pim?

I saw my pim today? Um no, uh, First of all, you're right, there should be more. Well now we don't need anymore six on your page books. All right, it is the one. But you know, no, Ken and I and I can he's not a Oh Ken, my old body, Ken, my old pal Kenny t I do believe Ken pronounce the tiger, so he does pronounce it like the animal is surprising.

He's not in this episode though, right, that's you know, that's funny that you say that, because I never even thought it. You're right, because he's um he will be possessed by a devil. At one point he was yeah, he's the werewolf. He also is a what do you call it? Not esp um?

Is it esp He can like read people's minds. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, there's an episode where he can read people's minds. And then my faith Like everyone loves the werewolf episode, as do I. But my favorite of all his depictions is this is still to come. He plays Jesus Christ.

Okay, a gentleman. He plays a guy who truly, truly believes he is Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's a great, great episode, which is why I'm wondering why he's not in this episode, because you give them you put wo jehoe. It's in the position of the crazy person, which crazy I mean I'm putting in quotation over this is a video Clearly that video medium putting that in quotations because he's not, because then it's you know, later in the episode, oh, you know, three hundred people saw it or whatever, So it's h he's not He's not crazy, right, he gets well, not only not only do they have other people confirm that they saw something, but they they make it like very obvious to you that the Air Force captain doesn't believe the excuse the superiors are giving him, right, they're not going to believe that.

You know, Tim surprise didn't say was swamp gas. There's a weather balloon. Major, it's a weather balloon, right, I need you to look right here? Yeah, oh yeah, it's in New York of all places. I loved this episode.

This is a lot. This episode was a lot of fun. This is an interesting episode. This has a lot of a story, a little bit of a bast story, and as far as I remember, nobody actually goes into the cage in this episode, which is very odd. I mean, obviously I've seen all these episodes like fifteen times or so.

But since I finished writing the book, I mean, you can understand I haven't been watching a lot of Party because I was. I was inundated with it for five years. But I just said to my son again, I said, it still amazes me. I go back. I've seen these things so many times now, and I still half out loud, and I'm sitting here by myself and I'm still laughing out loud.

Um, this is it. This is really an interesting episode. You're right, because a it introduces us to the characters of Harriet Brower and her husband, the Philip Brower. Philip and Harriet Brower, who will return, I believe two other times after this. Yeah, wo Joe's girl and agent Orange yep so, and he the husband is always getting into something crazier than the time before.

But but Chris already mentioned my other favorite part about the Sighting, and that, of course, is is the ending where Dietrich insinuates, well, he doesn't even insinuate it. He just says it in a way that that their imaginations and our imaginations run wild, that maybe this explains this guy, right, it's it's it is the moment where you're like, Okay, if this is what he's saying, then like then he he's a fucking alien. But it totally explains why he's so weird. Did we did you guys cover the episode yet with um uh? Oh god, Richard Libertini, Oh yeah, we just talked about that recently.

There he's from the future. Oh well, in this one he had a number for a name he didn't see he was from the future. No, there's another one that he is in. I think he's in a total of three. Yeah, but there's another one that he's in where where he's from the future and there is a similar type of Dietrich joke in that episode as well, which is one of my favorites as well.

I love Dietrich. I mean, Dietrich and and and Yamana were always my two favorite, Oh god, yah characters this whole I mean, for the last half a season or more, this show has just devolved into a Dietrich LoveFest. We just cannot say enough nice things about him. Yeah, I mean, you know, Steve Landisburg is like the in my opinion, at least for the fourth season of the show, he's like the unsung hero of the show, not even unsung, like they give him the most. They give him the most to do in the season, understandably so, almost to the detriment of some of the other, like mainstay characters.

Frankly, and as his wife, his widow said to me, she's like, you know, he had a lot of dialogue that he had to remember compared to those other guys, you know, because he would go off on these long things. And oh yeah, he says. You know, she says, he before that he had not done he had done improv and he had done stand up, so it was it was kind of a new thing for him. But he loved it. He loved it.

We should probably also say about this whole the Brower couple, that both Doris Roberts and Peter Hobbs had been on the show before, though not together. Hobbs was in the episode Strike the two parter and Doris Roberts was in the episode Surrogate, right, and I remember that, and then he they are going to come back as the Browers together a few times, but Hobbs is also going to come back as a separate character again later on. I just love the recycling of these great character actors, and Hobbs is one of these where you probably don't know him by me saying Peter Hobbs, but as soon as you see him, or as soon as you hear that voice, you're going to be like, oh my god, Yeah, I've seen this guy in a thousand things.

I mean, he's got one hundred and fifty five credits in his resume. And of course, I think hopefully even in twenty twenty two, people immediately know Doris Roberts. I mean, of course she had a real push later on in life with things like Grandma's Boy and everybody loves Raymond, but you know she's Grandma's Boy. Hell, yes, I did. Yeah, I was gonna say that one got way that one was way over my head.

Had no idea what Granma's Boy is a stoner It's like a It's a Stoner movie, but she plays like Stoner's Grandma and it's it's it's it's a very endearing Doris Roberts role. It's really good. Yeah, it's got some great actress in there too, and like a lot of great older female actors. So like you're Shirley Jones, Shirley Knights, other people not named Shirley, They're all in this movie. It's really good.

Yeah, but it's an Adam Sandler Crew movie, so it kind of gets yeah, it kind of gets lost in the shuffle of like other lesser Adam Sandler Crew movies exactly. Yeah, aren't all Adam Sandler Crewe movies lesser movies not necessarily everything, Yeah, after a certain pool, after a certain point probably, Yeah, yeah, this one is you know, it's definitely better than like you're Bucky Roberts those kind of things. Oh, Bucky Roberts. What was the other one? Um, Dickie, Dickie, Dickie Roberts, Roberts, Dicky Roberts, former child.

No it wasn't Dicky Roberts. Um other guy David Spade, David Spade. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, it was Dicky Roberts. Yeah. Yeah, but she wasn't in that, no, No, but that was Mary McCormick was in that.

Who as I was very pleasant on the eyes. I love Mary McCormick, Yeah, I love her. You didn't mention that we've seen Peter Hobbs in something else, Mike and another one of our shows. He was into See the Invisible Man. Hell, yes, that episode of the Twilight Zone.

He's great, a better episodes. Yeah, one of the best episodes, Sleeper. Yeah, I mean, I mean, yeah, He's just been in so many great things. You know, he shows up a couple of times in mash He's been in you know, Luke Grants nine to five, I mean, the Odd Couple a bunch of times. Yeah, so many great things.

And yeah, as soon as you hear his voice, she'll be like, oh yeah, and I'm gonna have to drop a clip in here because it's one of those like, oh, oh, yeah, I know this guy. If Danny liked somebody, as we I think we probably mentioned this the first time around, he would bring them back. He didn't care. And again, it's a different time, so you know, people didn't have all the shows on a platform platform somewhere where they could just binge watch it straight through, so you know, season of season people, they just didn't think about people remembering anybody. He didn't care.

He just wanted someone who could could give a good performance, and they definitely do. And I'll be honest with you otto like even if I'm not even sure you had mentioned it, but it seems pretty obvious because there are these like like Kenneth Tiger and Doris Roberts, like they've shown up now a bunch of times. And if I'm a showrunner, the last thing I'm gonna do is work with people that I don't like to work with. And if someone keeps showing up in these shows, my assumption is they're either easy to work with or they actively like working with those people, right. You know, that was kind of the thing in our Colombo show with some of the people that have shown up are like friends of Peter full and stuff like that.

So sure you got Cassavetti's and you've got them Val Avery, who shows up in a bunch of Colombo. Yeah, you've got that Tim Carey in the first Early Ship early season, I guess right. And you've got Bruno Kirby and his dad, Bruce Kirby. Bruce Kirby, Right, Bruno was in that one where he's a young cadet or something, right exactly. Yeah, Well, but Bruce was in Colombo a lot, and he was in Bernie four or five times as well, so I think we've seen him at least once already.

Yeah. Yeah, and with this, with these two the browers, this scheme here is that Philip has sold off all of their stuff, even her clothes. It sounds like, in order to convert everything that they own into gold, because he's convinced within two years there's going to be a huge economic crash. Who would almost be as if, you know, something really horrible happened, maybe call it Reaganomics. Maybe I don't know, like a whole like trickling down of wealth that just never actually happens, you know, I don't know what you're talking about.

It like this was still the good old days before Reagan. Yeah, this is when gas prices were, you know, super high, kind of like today they were like super high, like seventy nine cents again, Oh my god. Yeah, but no, you know this is this is I'm sure we talked about this the first time I was on about Danny's idea of paranoids with proof, Yes, right, right, well, this was the paranoid with proof for this one, although they never give you the actual proof in this one, although Dietrich sort of says, yes, there are a lot of economists who believe this is going to happen, and apparently that was the case at the time. But both Hale Lyndon and I'm trying to remember who the other person was who told me this, but they But Hale said Danny was doing this.

He said he wasn't selling his house and everything, he says, but he was buying gold. And he said he tried. He said, even got me to buy some gold. Oh my god, stunning nervous about this. So that was like right out of that game, right out of his life.

That's funny. I've been saying it for fifty years, folks, fifty years. I love how Dietrich convinces Harris that he needs to get rid of all those blue chip stocks, and Harris on the phone to his broker is fantastic. What you got me in all this paper for paper that'll be useless in a year or two anyways, exactly. Well, you know, there's there's um oh, it's the same episode with Libertini when he's supposedly a guy who comes from the future and he tells Harris that they like gold crashed in eighty eight or something.

Oh wow, he gets him to buy I think it's I think it's not copper. It's something else. Oh, I can't remember what it was. But he tries to get him to buy something else. And because this is the kind of thorough writer I am.

When I did the book, I did the math and said, technically, if Harris had bought the copper at that time or the gold, although the gold was way more expensive, percentage wise, they went up almost exactly the same amount. Oh wow, so he could have bought way more of the other. I was answering the questions. You didn't know you even needed it exactly, Thank you. I love how Harris is like, oh, yeah, I'll buy some of your gold.

At the end, it gives them a check for what two hunt and it gets them one coin a paso, a paso that has like whatever, like one that's one in a quarter rounds gold. Right, Well, at least it'll be easy to count. Yeah. They give him all those zingers, man, all those zingers go through Detrich this season. By the way, and I know I know Chris can't stand my friend um Ron carry were star warm warming.

Yeah. In this episode, have you guys ever seen mel Brooks History of the World Part one? Oh? Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, high anxiety anxiety. Yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it.

I don't got it. That's what I always think of when I see this episode and carrying that big box of gold and bags and everything, and it's like, you know, when he stands up and he's so sore from Karen and it's like, oh, you gotta help them out, love it, leve it, help him out, and he like rolled his eyes and gets up and holds like his groin like you already's got a hernia or something, carrying it up. Yeah, that's what I always think of high anxiety when I see that. Oh man, I mean this like we haven't really even talked about the UFO stuff. I mean, this episode is named after that.

But this whole side story with the gold is Gold, it's fantastic and just the way that it runs through the you know, all of these different characters that it touches so many of the people in the office, because when it comes to the UFO stuff, it's pretty much like the other side of the office. It's the Barney Miller, it's the Woe Joe, and it's uh, you know, it's nobody else. Really, I think it's them and then the Air Force guy, and that's it. That's like a limited like three person play going on over there, right right, yeah, and and the you know, it's it's it's really not as much inherent humor in it. I mean, the only humor is um you know, the fact that he might have seen a UFO, and you know, everyone thinks that's so funny.

And of course, now at almost sixty years of age, I think, why did we think all these people who said they saw UFOs? Why why did we all assume that those people are nuts? While there's billions of people in the world believing that there's these various old men in the sky that they believe, you know, that they believe that are controlling their lives, and no one blinks about that. But you know, so it's it's really, you know, there's not as much inherent funny material there. It's just Mojo trying to deal with this obviously condescending Air Force guy.

And they get a lot of mileage out of the Air Force guy's hat. That's like at least two or three jokes about the hat and just the way that you have to look underneath the hat in order to see the guy's eyes, yeah, because he has it so pulled down so far over his forehead. I'm surprised that they never mentioned anything about Carter seeing a UFO, because that was a big deal in seventy three when Carter, like you know, reached out and was like, hey, you know, he filed a report with the UFO Bureau in seventy three saying like I saw a UFO, which was a big deal at the time because he was the president. So it's kind of weird that they are treating it this way. But at the same time, as someone who has their own show about these kinds of things, it's not surprising because it is now just recently that the public tide has turned where people aren't seen as nuts or crazy or psychotic because they've seen UFOs.

I mean, some people get branded psychotic or drunks or attention seekers for their entire life. They used to for reporting you know UFO site right well, I mean right now with the air, it's like there's a lot of crazy things that people believe. Believing in UFOs ain't that crazy anymore? A lot of way it's not. And not only that, but believing in other groups of sentient beings out there is one of the few hopeful things we have going for us, exactly.

Yeah. I mean, unless they came into contact with us and realized that, you know, zip goodbye. Haven't you already seen the jokes and people are like, oh, now we know why they keep passing us by all these years. Right, That's fair because we would be laughing at them. We would be laughing at the people who saw them, like they do with poor woe Jehowitz.

Yeah, so let's move on to the episode Inauguration. So this at first, when I saw the title, I was just like, inauguration, this is too far from the election of nineteen eighty. But no, this is actually the election of Ed Koch, who was the for me. He's the mayor of New York. He was the mayor when I was kind of realized what New York City was and just his whole policies, that whole how am I doing kind of thing.

Him showing up on Saturday Night Live, It was just like, okay, yeah, Ed Cotch America's mayor kind of thing. Definitely a lot better than Rudy Giuliani, but not Fiarella LaGuardia because he came into my bedroom last night and he talked to me for forty five minutes. Oh wow, I am jealous of that because I'd love to talk from a little flower. What is that goes to this second one? Right?

Second? Ghostbusters, isn't it? Oh? Is that why I don't know it? Because it is why you don't know what?

I was like, I realized theres like Mike's not going to know this because this is Ghostbusters too, be lesser Ghostbusters too. I've seen Ghostbusters one more than one. Rough crowd here, but I am but I am quite familiar with your whole leguaria. Well that's what one of the I think the mayor for the first movie says. He's like, Fiorella LaGuardia came into my bedroom.

Must Mont dalk to me for forty five minutes? Ain't been dead for thirty years? Yeah? Hey, you know what, though, I will say this much about this episode. It's a fun episode.

It's a fun follow up to the last one. It's in that same tone, vein and tone of the last one. There's a lot of stuff going on in this episode. Let's try to break it down a little bit. So the name of the episode Inauguration.

This is about coach coming into the office, So all of the looneys are being rounded up and we're trying to investigate all of these threats that are being made against Kach as the inauguration is just about to be underway. So we've got all right, We've got Harris, he's working the inauguration and he gets a job offer which he takes and then rescinds, and there's a lot of tension between him and Woe Joe about this, and a little bit with Barney as well. Yeah, we've got Basil Hoffman as Alan Corbele, who is one of my favorite character actors. Chris. We're going to see him in the Bye Bye Sky High IQ case later on when we talk about it on Colombo, which is a great episode in my mind.

We've got the Old Lady. Is that Florence Hallop that comes in, Evelyn Holly, who we've seen many times before. We talk about reusing character actors, So she comes in. She's writing death threats to catch in Cryan Or. She's got the stationary with skull and crossbones on it, so she just constantly is writing poison pen letters trying.

Yeah, well, it's a great letterhead if you're going to do that. We've got Philip Sterling coming in here, and I'm trying to remember what his deal was. He's Noel Katie. He believes that he's the people's mayor. That's right, right, the duly appointed people's mayor, right right.

And then we have the introduction of who a guy who's going to be a regular character on the show, Officers a Telly Dino Natali, who we didn't mention last episode, but we did mention in our Last Life and Times of Barney Miller and I think maybe even the episode before that, Jacks, who has been out of the picture and we've had these kind of replacements going on. There's no replacement at his desk this time other than love it and he worked the desk last time. He's working the desk this time. He's wearing one of these like Herb Tarleck type jackets, which is fantastic. And Zittelli is filling in for Levitt, and so Levitt has to just lay into him and teach him the ropes, as it were, do everything the Levitt way, which is a pretty great running gag in this right.

And and Helly will later on in the following season has a. I mean, his character has a very important he's part of a very important plot line that I won't I won't give away right now, but it's one of the better, uh you know, more progressive things storylines and Barney Miller. But first of all, the whole thing with Levitt and that that suit coat, now that's a good one. Herb Tyre like I didn't think of her tyre like I thought of it reminded me of something out of Guys and Dolls. Oh, I can see that.

But the other thing that I don't know if it was in this episode or the episode before, but when Levitt comes in with the coat and the hat, he reminded me of an old cartoon from one I was a kid called inch Hi Private Eye. I don't know if you have ever seen this, but there was a Saturday Morning Hannah Barbara cartoon called inch Hi Private Eye and he wasn't he was an inch high. I mean it was you know, yeah, you don't. You didn't. We didn't ask questions, We just watched it.

But um, he always that that the look of him in that because he's with the with the hat and everything, he just reminds me of that. Um. Yeah, you know, poor Lovett, Uh, this is the beginning of his real you know, he wanted that promotion, and as you will see, for the rest of the run of the show until the end, he will get continually yanked up and down, up and down, back and forth when they're when when they need extra help. Although you know, once Sue leaves, there will be other, uh short term people that come in, but no one ever takes his place, No one lasts, you know, I mean, in essence, the way it turns out is that Dietrich replaces in the end both Fish and Yamana, which makes sense. We've talked about this on the show before that landisburg sile of humor.

The dry delivery that he has is very similar to both of those, especially Jack Sue, especially Yamana with the little zingers and stuff. And I think it's almost like if Yamana gotta let's say, he got a promotion and just was like around more. Because Nick is a little bit more in the background compared to Dietrich. Dietrich seems to be more foregrounded a lot of times. Right well, you know, that's one of the sad things about the way everything worked out, and that is had Jack lived and remained healthy throughout the entire run of the show, would his character have evolved more the way Harris and Wojo did.

I mean, as it turns out, it's only Harris, Wojo and Barney who are with it from beginning to add which is insanity to me. Yeah, but not unlike a real probably not unlike a real police precinct either. Yeah. Yeah, that's one of the saddest things I think is because you wonder, he's so brilliant Jack Sue, and it's just and you forget, you know, you think that, Well, yeah, he was there halfway through this fifth season, but as you say, he was pretty much out half of the fourth season as well. Yeah, so ultimately he's really there, and considering the fact that the first season is only a half season anyway, he's really only there for three and a half seasons, even though he leaves in the middle of the season five.

So yeah, I would I would have definitely liked to have seen what they would have done with his character. Well, I mean, to be fair, I feel like I honestly feel the same way about Gregory Sierra's character, you know, Fish, not so much, but because I feel like that character kind of went where it was going to go. But Gregory's here, I kind of feel the same way, like I wish he had never left this show. I wish he had never left because he brought a different enter to this show that I think in a lot of ways, this show would have been a little different with Gregory Sierra through shit, even through this season. I mean again, if he had walked away at this season, this would be an entirely different show.

Because I still remember that episode where Gregory Sierra where trying to kill somebody, and that's like, where did that even come from? Like, that's you know what. I would still contend that that's one of the better kind of beats of this entire show is showing that which is a pretty mature take on a pretty you know, serious topic. I'm not saying the show never gets back to it, because it has, but yeah, this show really is kind of plagued by some unfortunate things with the people involved, the main cast members, right, I would say that that, you know, other than that episode where Channel kills the two bank robbers, they only will get that serious again one other time and the whole rest of the series, I mean, there are they have serious subjects that they cover.

I mean the agent Orange Is, which still talk about later on is it definitely a serious episode. But one of the things that I always liked about Barney, unlike a show like Mash, for example, is that Barney could touch upon serious subjects but still be funny while they were while they were incorporating a serious subject matter into it, and Mash couldn't. In my opinion, they got very modeling and very preachy, you know, and I just kind of turned me off because it wasn't you know, I originally tuned in to watch a sitcom and it just you know, they were they were proselytizing too much. But in Barney, it isn't. It's interesting that you reminded me about that Channo episode because that episode is very serious.

There's only one other episode that is instill in the future for you guys, having to do with with that always happy subject matter of a Nazi, which still back in those times was a bad thing to be unlike twenty twenty two. You know, we still look down at Nazis in the nineteen eighties. So yeah, Indiana Jones hadn't kicked their ass just yet. Yeah, for a couple of years removed from that. Yeah, it's it's it's strange to me because the show does have an episode called rape, and it's not a very serious episode.

I think the most serious that we've gotten lately, Chris, was when Barbara Berry showed back up. And we've made remarks about how there are times where there's no laughter and you don't get the zingers because we're treading some rocky ground with that. But I mean, of course, it's nowhere near somebody being killed. We really took the show to task for the mishandling of her character coming back to then go away again? Right, yeah, that go away I get for good.

It would seem right, right, yeah, because after have they started, I'm not and they started where they split up, yet they're pretty close if they haven't. The last episode she was in was Quo vadis, the one where it's you know, she comes to him and you know it's the robber's wife is worried about him, and they they kind of pair that up against Barney's wife is worried about him? Oh yes, yes, yes, okay. Is that the one with Dulligan with John Dulligan and he says to her give him, give him a break. Yeah, yeah, it is.

Yep. Yeah, it's so strange. She knew what she was getting in for at the beginning, that exactly. Yep, that one. Yeah, Yeah, it's super super strange.

Yeah, it's super it's a super strange way of handling her character because you know, some things they didn't have a choice on how to handle them, and then other things they made these like tacit decisions to kind of mishandle it right. And I should probably clarify what I just said. I don't mean that there were only too serious. I don't know. What I mean is that there's really and technically even the episode wouldn't count as it.

But this episode that you guys have not gotten to is the one episode that I don't there's almost like no laughs in it at all. It's so it's a very it's a real outlier for Barney, for Barney, because there's like almost no laughs in it whatsoever. Now, there is one other episode that has no laughs, but that wasn't on purpose. That was that was Woe Joe's Girl Part two, which is the worst episode in Barney Miller Cannon in my opinion. But you know what, I find again amusing about this show and something I noticed in inauguration that kind of puts it in a different category.

This is one of the few episodes where they use a applause beat, which is very infrequently used, and they use it for one when Ron Glass is like, uh, they offered me a job and I took it so long and it's like, yeah, clap but I was like, what the fuck clap track that was? There's a clap track in this episode, which there's not there. I don't think there isn't very many if ever, which by the way, shows you that it was. It was not in front of a live studio audience. It was just sweetened because hadn't been in front of a live studio audience back in those days, you would have gotten up exactly right.

Yeah, the audience would have gasped, which is funny because they really don't do anything with it in the episode at all. Yeah, it's as soon because this could have been your season cliffhanger, like, oh, is Harris going to be back next season? You know, it would have been a perfect time for them to be like, oh, it looks like he's gonna work for coach And then in the next episode, then he hit him with a real good singer about while Ed wanted me to do his laundry and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, that they just they missed that opportunity because they wrapped this whole thing up so quickly. Du But I'm one of those guys who I'm watching some shows now and it's like, that's how television has become now.

You always have to end every season on a cliffhanger. And because I grew up in a different time, I find that to be extremely annoying and like manipulative, and it kind of pisses me off. So I'd like to have you know, it's a sitcom world. I don't expect it to be real. I like things, you know, wrapped up at the end.

Even though Barney has a lot of open ended things where they say that's what it is, We're not really going to have an answer for it. It's just the way things work. I don't have a problem with that kind of stuff. But this constant manipulation that goes on in television now, and there's some great shows, but it's just constantly, you know, everything's they're hanging by a string. I mean, it's like the old cereals in the thirties.

You know, he didn't get out of the cockaduty car exactly. Yeah. So, but that's just my own personal I mean, I just don't think it has a place in this kind of show. But then at the same time, like this, but this show also, like we mentioned, it's kind of in this weird in between because it's it is a comedy, but then there are moments where it's like there's still cops. Right, It's like we haven't heard about Harris's apartment since he got the new place, you know, like it was such a big deal about him getting this new place.

But it's like, we don't continue with that storyline. Maybe next season we'll get a mentioned, but it's like that is wrapped up now, so we start and stop. We don't continue every episode and here like oh jeez, now I gotta worry about this or that. But again, I do think that has something to do with the fact that producers and showrunners and things like that didn't think about those things back then because there was not you know, there was syndication, but there was I mean, at this point in time, we're in I think what nineteen seventy eight, I think, yeah, the vc irs and those things are just coming out, just coming out. So there was never those producers who started, you know, Danny started in the fifties on television, so they just didn't think about those things.

It was not it was like it was like the like chewing gum. You know, you chewed it, you got your flavor of it, you threw it away, right. It didn't expect people to keep going back and chewing that same piece. Again. What's interesting too, because this is all so much a one set show that after a while, like you can hear about Harris's apartment and how he's being driven crazy by Dietrich when they're living together, but we never see it, you know, we just hear about it.

So if Harris had problems with his pipes or you know, a landlord issue or something, it would all be told to us. We would never actually see it, right exactly. And what's wild about this show is how well it works. Yeah, because a lesser show would not be able to pull this up. A single set show.

I mean there are shows that are contemporaries of this show that aren't even doing i mean, Welcome Back catter Mash, those aren't single set show. Right, this is I mean we at this point we have resigned ourselves, not in a negative way. We're never gonna see anywhere else. Right. When we see somewhere else, it's going to be such so surprising, we take note of it.

But in the first season, the first couple of seasons of the show, they we did go a couple We saw Barney's apartment, we saw Fish's apartment, we saw a Steakout house at one point. We've seen them go some places, but since I think recently we saw them, it wasn't Strike it was the squatters, right, the squatters. Yeah, I'm trying. It was the last time we saw eviction where that was just a couple episodes ago where Barney goes and talks to the group of Yeah, that was like surprising that he left and went somewhere and we actually saw it. Right, The only two times that you ever saw Barney's apartment where season one and Steakout was season one, So those are all in those first thirteen episodes.

And then yeah, you have the ones where he talks to the to the tenants. You will have the big one that you'll have that's you know, speaking to you from the future where where Harison Dietrich go on a steak out themselves. Just that, No, they don't go on a steake out. I take it back, they don't want to stake out. They go and they're they're guarding a witness, they're taking a witness.

But that's out of the office. Landisburg was outside of the office at one point already at Fish's apartment. Is that right, right, we interacted with Fish's daughter. That was end of season two or something or yeah, yeah, I think that. Yeah, the times that they leave are very very rare in one hundred and seventy one episodes.

And to your point about reruns, I mean, yeah, in syndication, the old rule and I don't know if it's still this way, but the old rule used to be you could get syndicated, your reruns couldn't be syndicated until you hit one hundred episodes And we're only at episode eighty with this one, right, and Danny being Danny, he could have pissed off anyone at any moment and just pulled, you know, pulled out and said, forget it. I'm not making anymore right, So, yeah, you're right. So, Chris, you mentioned the cool Vadis episode, and that has something in common with these two episodes that we've talked about so far, which is the director Alex March. And as far as I know, and please correct me, Auto, since you are, you know, the Man from the Future, I don't think that Alex March had directed any episodes before that, and I don't think he's going to direct anymore after it.

It becomes really like, you know, Nomee Pitlick has already been like the Man, but I think the next two seasons are almost exclusively directed by none pitt Like. I think there's another Max Scale episode out there, a couple of them, but almost everything else is pitt Lick. Yeah, I can. Yeah, I couldn't find much of anything on Alex March when I was doing the research, and I can. I can definitely confirm that that going forward, pit Like only becomes more important and more integral to that to that group.

This is this is season four, right, yeah, this season four, So next the next season that we're about to begin is Danny's last season at the helm of the show before he is forced to step down for two years because of health issues. So I'm sure that nome because I was told by other people, because because when I would talk to people, I get kind of like mixed messages. I said, well, Nome was like the director of most of the episodes, and then some people would say, well, yeah, but Danny always kind of directed even if no one was there. But then later on Tony Sheen said to me, well, yeah, he says that sort of true, he said, except when Danny was gone. He said, we depended a lot Unknome because he had been around from the beginning, and he was so talented, and he was a little older than all of us, and he was great with the actors and all that.

So definitely in season six and seven. In fact, in season six and seven, you can make the assumption that Noam was so important that when Danny came back in season eight, that's when Noam left. Oh wow, even though even though it had been Danny who put Noam in that position, and they by all accounts they had a good relationship. But that kind of confirms to me in my mind that Noam figured, well, Danny's going to be back, so my directing duties quote unquote are not going to be the same as they have him for the last two years. So then he did not direct.

If you look, he didn't direct anything in season eight. He was gone completely in the last season. Wow. So yeah, season six and seven, he was extremely important. In season five, my guests would be that he was arting to take over, you know, starting to have a little more autonomy in that area than he had had previously.

So let's talk about the beginning of season five, which I said before, this is a two parter, but this is not like the two parters that we've had before, were like Strike and Eviction. I thought that something was wrong at first when I was watching this episode, because I was like, wait a second, they didn't take a break. This episode feels kind of long. What's going on? Like, where's the credits?

That I missed the credits? What's happening? But so this was two it was it's a two parter in syndication, But the reality is it was a single hour episode that opened. It was a season premiere episode, and they opened with a special one hour episode. And when I was doing the research, I wasn't sure about it either, and I tracked down that TV guide so that I could confirm that it was a one hour episode that week, and that's what it was, so it was a season season open special one hour basic and then they caught for syndication obviously into two episodes.

It's kind of a familiar episode. It feels like we've seen some of these beats before. Chris. You mentioned way back at the beginning as we were talking about this that here we have yet another prostitute. This is like the greatest hits of Barney Miller.

Like you could you could show this singular episode to someone and be like, this is the show, and if someone was into it with this episode, like, oh, go check out some more, but if they didn't get it, like you probably don't need to watch anymore because it kind of has like a lot of the beats. There's like a big overall beat, and then there's like the smaller sex worker thing, and then there's the hitting on one of the characters thing, which kind of happens from time to time. It kind of has all, and then it has a guy in the cell as well. It kind of has everything. If this is the way you open the season the fifth season, like everybody must have been really happy because this is one of the better episodes of the show that we've seen, I think period, right, even though if it goes a little return to the King at the end of the ending goes on forever.

Some of those characters should have had an Irish goodbye and just fucking left, so I don't need to listen to you on the way out, just leave, thank you, goodbye. Well, it's interesting that very young fellow who unfortunately just passed away back in March. I grew up watching her on It's a Living. It's a Living, Yeah, and I'm watching this show and I'm just like, my god, why do I know this woman? Who?

You know? She's so familiar. And then finally I'm like, oh, yeah, It's a Living and she's fantastic on that she's the one that plays the prostitute, and it's like Marcia funny with the funny name Marcia Dixon or Dixon Marcia Marcia. I was like, holy shit show for real. And then but they and they put a laugh track in when he says it, they put the said ron Kerry goes Dixon Marcia Chris.

I never even thought of it until just now. I think you have a dirty night, right right. I thought she was going to be one of these prostitutes that we've seen before on the show where it's the innocent woman who is trying to get more attention from her husband and ends up becoming a prostitute just so she can interact with people. One of those. But no, she's got a pimp.

She's definitely, you know, very very much a professional working gal. So that that actually, that was the only part about her thing that bothered me was the pimp and a pink Cadillac. That didn't the pink Continental. It didn't strike me that she would have a pimp and a pink Continental. I wouldn't think.

So, No, she seems much more like an independent producer, and just yeah, that was kind of weird. And yeah, of course we've got Woe Joe being kind of a dick to her, but then of course, yeah, very much a dick to her, but then of course you know, being nice towards the end, to the point where it's almost like, yeah, they're probably almost going on a date. So the main part of this where we get our title from kidnapping is the owner of Siegel's department store being kidnapped, mister Siegel. I don't know if he's got a first name or not. Harold J.

Stone, who shows up in the second episode and this the kids come in. Oh, by the way, I should say, Jack Sue is back looking pretty good. So there's no Ron Carry, and I think it's kind of good that there's no Rod Carry because of the two siblings. And of course I think we've had this before where we've got the fighting siblings here. Like, there's a lot of similar beats, see what I mean, the best of Barney Miller.

There's Beverly Saunders who's Lorraine Siegel, and then her brother is Todd Sussman, who's Andrew Siegel. And I don't know about y'all, but my god, he looks like Levitt to me, and he looks about the almost just a little bit taller. It's like I would like to see him and Levitt standing next to each other. Oh, I never thought of that. I never thought of that.

I mean, is it just me? No? I see, they had the same kind of tea area with their nose and brow line. They totally do. Okay, Yeah, I didn't think that.

I just love his characterization as Andrew Siegel, and I love his interaction with with the prostitute with Marcia. I mean, you know, it's obviously someone who's who has not received a lot of nurturing or affection at home. I love the part where she says he says something to her like, um, Marcia, that's a pretty name. She's like, it was actually Marshall. It's like my father wanted a son, and he says, so did mine?

Remember the yeah? Yeah, Like that sums up his entire character when he says that, Yeah. I think I think both he and Beverly Sanders were great in this. Uh oh, she's fantastic. She's another one of these where you just look at her and you're like, oh my god, I've seen this woman in so many things.

She's got this great voice, and the way that she is just horndog and after Harris is fantastic. But again, we've seen this before, so it's it's like, I think Chris, every once in a while we run into these like recycle episodes. But again, I know it sounds crazy now, but it's nineteen seventy eight. That's still kind of progressive in nineteen seventy eight that a white woman is you know, yeah, is obviously making passes at this handsome black man. So you know that was not happening a lot.

The most handsome one in the precinct by like, well, maybe how Lindon's just a little less that is the mustache just coach. But yeah, no, Harris is definitely the most handsome man in the precinct, right yeah, yeah, so those close up shots to Landisburg. He's a good looking guy. Yeah yeah, dorky looking guy. But the way he carries himself is just the carries his shoulders.

You know, there's just something about him. I really like. The thing that I always just liked in the show was there was an episode. You know, there's a two episodes one you know how like basically ultimately everyone will end up in the woman's clothing for the mugging duty. Oh god, yeah, there's the episode with Fish.

I mean, if you, if you, I hate to even remind you this because you might have nightmares tonight. But then there's the episode where Dtrich dresses as a woman and they all act like he is by far the ugliest one that's ever put a dress on, And I'm like, what, he's not even close. Do you remember what fish look like? Not to remember not to mention the time that that Wojo got attacked by the guy and Wojo's first of all, he is not a handsome woman, and he's sweating like a pig, And I'm like, I just thought that that particular, the whole thing where they've given Dietrich a hard time for how ugly was as a woman, I'm like, please, the old woman that ever looked good was Harris. They haven't done that in a long time.

I mean it has been I think since one of the last times Fish was on the show. So it's I can guarantee you that everyone except Barney. H well, no, actually I do want except Barney and Jack Sue. Everybody except Barney and Jack Sue will don the dress at some point. Yeah, that's simply simply stunning.

Jack suit never, You're right now that I think about Jack Sue never got the call either, So he never shows up like that. Yes, And the guy that you're talking about being in the cage in this one is the great stuff and Geerish. Yes, it shows up numerous times in the course of the Barney Miller years. I think he's I think he shows up five times maybe. Oh, yeah, he's been on the show once already.

Yeah. The interesting thing is in this episode his name is Glandsman. Mister Glandsman. And the name of the real life New York City police officer who was the advisor was Paul Glandsman. That was the name of the real life New York City cop was Paul Glandsman.

And that's this character's name is Glandsman. And his whole tirade when we first meet him, that is eerily twenty twenty two, isn't it. Oh my god? Yes, yikes. That's all I'll say is when I watched this and I saw that, like, holy shit, this is forty years old and it could have been made last night.

Oh yeah. With his granting and raving about not apologizing for being a white man and all this stuff, I'm like, oh my god, middle aged white man too, just so we know, middle aged, middle aged, wise man, middle class. Um uh. And then don't make any assumptions about me. Right then he says about Harris, I thought he was a luder.

Um it's real, but it's real bad. Yeah, he's I love When he's in the cage and Dietrich starts taunting him and there's that whole thing. He's like, Yo, how cultured he is. He's like, uh, what's he say something about? Like what kind of wine would you have with possum?

But I know that's the that's the other guys, that's the that's the Southern assholes. Who's also in a number of Barneys as well. Also soon to be in a Ranking on Bass episode as well. Yes, oh really okay, and a Marco Polo musical apparently. So yeah, I'm sorry I was mixing up one white asshole with another white asshole.

Does Ralph Mons account as a white asshole? No? Don't. Ralph Mons is also great in this show. It's like this third time now, a third of like seven or eight times.

Oh yeah, this is the second and last time he plays somebody other than mister Roth. Oh. I love him so much, and I'd love just his he's so old and so decrepit, and he's got the arthritis and barely drive the car, right, No, I Ralph minds is character of mister Roth, who I think you have seen already, but back is probably my all time favorite Barney character. I mean when he when he when we're introduced to him as the shoplifter, and he said, what made you think you could get away with it? And he's like, I'm blind.

No one expects a blind guy to steal from you love him. I love Ralph Minsa, absolutely love Ralp. I mean if we just saw him recently, or I was just editing that episode because I remember him walking down the hallway like he's escaping. Oh yeah, or no he didn't walk, it didn't There was a guy in a wheelchair. I think that was trying to escape.

Oh yes, yeah, Henry Slate, Yes, send me Slate. Who's that's his only time on Barney and Henry Slate. If any if any of the listeners love to watch, like Don Rickles on YouTube and like his old TONIGHT'SO appearances, Don Riggles will always say he started at Slate Brothers, which was a nightclub run by the Slate Brothers who had been like a song and dance comedy team in the thirties and forties, and Henry Slate was one of those brothers. I love it. I love how it all comes together.

Yeah. Well, speaking of coming together, our good friend Father Malone does a Banacheck podcast, and Ralph Monza is on a fair amount episodes of Banacheck playing the same character day. He's his driver Jay yep. Nice. So yeah, hopefully does a better job there than he does here protecting Bicheck.

Well, I mean look at we can you see Ralph Bonza how much? How good is he gonna be protecting anybody? Yeah? Good? The most useless of chauffeurs that can't do anything.

He could. He could be Levitt's father in terms of height. Oh, that's true, that's true. Yeah, and hey, lou and Luger's here fucking a Luger's back. Man, it's been a while.

This is a fabulous Luger episode because it's one of those episodes where he literally has no real help to offer. He's just makes Barti's job. Yes, yeah, and be fair is most of the time he does anything. Well, it's like the FBI guy that shows up who has nothing to do. She's like, well, if they cross state lines, then I can get involved, right, And of course they're all they're all kind of nervous about him anyway, because he's so young, right, No one wants to deal with him because he's so young.

So yeah, I know the feeling. Yeah. I think he says he'll be twenty eight in October or something like yeah, right, yeah, well is that the one the woman She's like, wow, how old is he? How old is he Jesus yeah, Rise, I mean what you're almost that age, Chris four years older than that. Oh wow, holy shit, So Bay's baby at that FBI agents rather baby face by face.

I know. I genuinely find this to be a if if again, if this is a one hour opener, I has a very good episode. Yeah, I know, but it is recycling. It is. But like that's that's why I'm saying, like it's kind of like the best of Barney Miller, because it is just recycling all these beats we've seen before and kind of pressing them together into a loaflike consistency for easy enjoyment.

Okay, I'm going to defend the recycling on one level, and that is part of the point of Barney Miller was the mundane nature of police work and the fact that they were dealing with similar type of people, like all these crazy people every day. I mean, it's kind of like me what we were taught in screenwriting class that there's only like six or seven stories and the only thing that changes is your on that story. So in that sense, i mean, I'm sure they didn't have if you were working in a police station for eight years, I'm sure you would not have seen a hooker only one time. You were going to see hookers over and over again in Greenwich Village in the nineteen seventies. Just fair drugs, you know, people who were selling grass or people who were you know, snatching purses or whatever it is.

I mean that that's part of the point of Barney is that it was a mundane look at police work as opposed to the guns a blast in a way, you know, So that's fair and that is I think for me, that is one of the reasons I appreciate the show so much, is because it is so different and like we've heard, you know, I think you probably mentioned it last time you were on, and we've said it before. This is the show that cops really appreciate because it speaks to what it's actually like to be a cop in a lot of ways. Exactly boring, right, right, that's what they all thinking. A fireman a lot of fucking sitting around and waiting. Yeah, yeah, well except the fireman.

The fireman. And I say this only because my brother in law is a retired fireman. But the fireman at least can sit around and cook. That's all they fucking do. Man exactly that around and cook and eat.

That's all all the firefighters I've ever known. It's like I'm going to the firehouse to eat. We have a home. Yeah, yeah, they have kitchens in the firehouses. That's the difference.

I mean, Yeah, I know a lot of people have been on like um Top Chef that have started at as fireman. You know, they they start there and they perfect their skills and they actually end up going in other places and just becoming cook's. Yeah, you're cooking for a lot of people. But hey, they make they make coffee in the in the precincts left and Rode a fireman's cookbook. So yeah, there, that's that's what they do.

Pretty much. They either put out fires or start fires in the kitchen. Yeah, if you to your point, Chris, like if you had never seen an episode of Barney Miller before, you could do way worse than starting with kidnapping. Because this is kind of a reintroduction of the show. It's a good place to begin season five because we really are doing this kind of greatest Hits thing, and we're also talking about, you know, kind of the nature of what's going on, and you know, economically, this is towards the end of seventy eight, and so this whole thing of how they kidnap the owner of this department store, and the kidnappers are like, oh, you need to, you know, open up the doors and let everybody come in for free.

And I love how Nick is they're trying to figure when Barney tells them like, I need you to go through the list and come up with all the potential suspects of who this could be. And I love when Nick's just like, well, maybe the Young Republicans. He wants them to go. Well, first thing he said, he gives them this whole list, huge things to look like, files to pull and well, and Nick just says him, Barne, wouldn't it be easier to just find the guy? Right?

But then later on he goes, Nick, could you found anything? He's like, I got this Young Republicans? Yeah, yeah, Nick. Nick was way ahead of his time the group to watch out for, didn't he? Oh Man like both all these episodes, well, the inauguration episode and this episode our two episodes where um, I always said, I found it interesting that Barney had so many things in it that were you kind of had to know the time, like you're saying at cotch.

But in that cotch in the inauguration episode, they also mentioned John Lindsay because because what's his name, Basil Hoffan is so high He's like, is that John Lindsay who was the former mayor. He was like the playboy mayor of New York City in the late sixties and early seventies, right, And they also meant Bess Meyerson, who was a Miss America like in nineteen fifty something and then she ended up working for Ed Koch and then she ended up getting arrested for some kind of white collar crime, which was a big controversy at the time. But it's like all these things like if you don't know it, this is all stuff that's kind of just going over people's head. And in the kidnapping episode, I mean, I would hope.

I mean, at our time, I knew who Bruno Hopman was, right, Yeah, Lindberg kidnapper and stuff like that. But maybe I don't know how many of my peers would have known that at the time. But I'm trying to remember when the whole oh god, who was the really rich kid that they just made that move? Well, Eddie just no, no, I'm thinking of all the money in the world. That whole story of Jay Paul Getty's grandson.

Yeah, yeah, I don't remember when they get kidnapping was, but it feels like, I mean, it feels like kidnapping was kind of in the air, not as much as like hijacking planes, but definitely something that was, you know, I can't say fairly popular, but it was something that was in the news a lot. This is weird, but I will tell you that although I don't remember off the top of my head when he was kidnapped, I can tell you that it's mentioned in my book because in one of the episodes, the woman who he the grandson was married too. It plays a part. She's an act She was an actress in one of the Barney episodes. Oh wow, And she didn't speak in the In the episode, she doesn't speak English, she speaks German.

And I'm I'm pretty sure it's Dietrich who talks to her and who translates everything. Big surprise. Yeah, I say, what a shocker that is. Yeah, exactly, So, I do know. I don't remember the date off the top of my head, but I do know that that the Getty kidnapping is mentioned in the book.

In the Barney book is so yeah, and the other I do also just want to quickly mention them because we flew past him before too, was Philip Sterling, Because how you know how Chris was saying at the beginning of how Ken Tiger always played these like supernatural type characters. Philip Sterling, who played like the People's mayor, always played these older middle aged guys who were like unraveling, like having these nervous breakdown type if you remember that, I think the first time we're introduced to him, he's the guy who crawls under the desk and won't come out from underneath the desk. Oh yeah, yeah yeah, And you'll see him again later on where he had been he had been a hostage. And it's really he always plays these He plays a judge at one point who kind of snaps, but he always plays these characters who kind of like are are losing their grasp on reality, but does so in such a kind of poignant and sympathetic way.

You know. Um, So it's interesting, how, yes, that's like real good old fashioned character actors who played the same kind of character even if they weren't playing the same character right in your Hobb's case Brower. You know, he's always doing the same types of things, but he's still the same character, whereas these other ones with Tiger and with with um Sterling, they're playing the same types of character, but they're not the same person. So it's kind of it's like kind of a throwback to the old studio system of films where you had character actors who well, yeah, you know, that guy's going to play the gangster, that guy's going to play the farmer, or that guy you know, right, stuff. So I just had to get that out because I love Philip Sterling.

I think he's one of the unsung you know, he doesn't he's not. He wasn't is well known as some of these other character actors, but he was fabulous and all the barnies he did. So we've mentioned it several times, but we really need to bang the strumm about your book The Stories from the Old One too, And like Chris said, it's available on bearman Ermedia dot com and it is available on Amazon dot com. It's available where your better books are sold. Barney Miller in the file, So the Old One too, and this thing you could kill a small child with this book.

It's a big old book focus. Like I was saying, you're gonna get your money's worth out of this j six hundred pages. It's you know, that way you have something to protect you at late at night when you're reading the book, and you know you always have it handy to defend yourself or your show. If you love Barney Miller, you can oh, I'm opening to page four hundred and sixty five. Well, you know.

The funny thing is, at the beginning of the research for this book, I was not intending on having a very a very big episode guide because I'm like, I don't know if people want that. And then I asked some some fans. I'm like, well, what do you guys, what would you want to see? And everyone said, oh, we want a good episode guide, a really good you know. I'm like, okay, So then the episode guide is you guys, now, well know is the biggest part of the book, right, Yeah, I mean, like the stuff before the episode guide is like two hundred and something pages and the episode guide is like three hundred and something pages.

So, but I'm happily surprised that people have written to me or said on Facebook or you know that they've been they've been watching the show with the book, so they look at the episode guide after they watched the episode or before or whatever. Would I would hope you would read it after you watch the episode. I think you and I think we talked about this before, where like with the hash episode that we've all seen millions of times, I didn't want to put all the funny lines right in the episode guide. I mean, I put a couple, but I sat in there, I'm like, I'm not going to write them all because you guys got to go just watch the episode, you know. So yeah, I've been happily surprised by the response so far.

So that's good. All good. Yeah, Well, it's a fantastic book. I cannot read all of it because, like you just said, I'm saving so much of it here. You know, we're we have to top off at you know, season five.

We can't really dig too deep. So I'm hoping that we can have you back on a more regular basis, you know, at least once a season, so you can correct all the bad things that we've said. But hopefully now we won't say anything bad because we've got your book as a guide right there, man, it's right there. Yeah, all the answers are in my book. Not all the answers actually, the funny you know, that's the worst part.

Now it's all out there. Now it's done, and now I think, oh shit, I didn't say that, or oh I should have mentioned that, or oh I should have mentioned it. So you a release an amended version, you can all new intern induction by the author. That would be up to the publisher. And I just don't see a second version of this coming out, but who knows.

I don't know. Twentieth anniversary edition, twenty years Yeah, we're what are we were three three years away from fiftieth anniversary of the first episode. This year is the fortieth anniversary of the end of the series Wow, because it ended in eighty two, so this is the fortieth year of that. But they premiered in seventy five, so we still got three years before that that date. So well, I'll tell the publisher, Chris, that you might be willing to back that project.

Yeah, back what you have? The backing of the Internet's favorite Barney Miller podcast. Yeah, there you go, perhaps the Internet's only Barney Miller podcast. Goddamn right, I think so. I think so.

By the way, you know, I've listened at Mike knows that I listened to a lot of the Projection Booth episodes. I haven't listened to the Ranking Bass yet because there's only really three or four ranking basses that I even care about, and three of them are Christmas one, so I'm waiting to listen to them now around Christmas time. So there's so much more, I know, so many more depths to plumb with ranking and bass. You can't even begin to aim, you know. I have to say, I was on there one day looking at yourself.

I was surprised. I mean, someone has written a book about ranking and bass stuff like you did for Barney Miller. Oh my god. All I knew when I was all we knew was like Rudolph Santa Claus coming to town, and uh it is Frosty. Yeah yeah, Frosty yeah yeah.

That's all we That's all I knew and cared about then. I never saw it when it first came out. It wasn't until years and years later that I saw the Mad Monster Party one really hold up at least when you're an adult. I mean, no, they were, we were so excited. Yeah, I think ebodys saw it when I was eight.

I fucking eate that it up with a spoon man right exactly as an adult though, first time forced me to eat that shit. Yeah, boy No. The only thing I will say is that Rudolph I was one of the like I felt like a like, like a misfit, A misfit. Yes, there you go. I am I such a misfit because I would watch Rudolph and I think, why isn't anyone calling out what an asshole Santa Claus is?

Right, he's got of a brick. He's not kind of He's an absolute asshole as is comment. I mean, he's no great shakes either. Yeah, and I never understood that, like all the time when I was a kid, I never understood. That's why my favorite was always the other was always Santa Claus is coming to town.

And of course I love Crosty because of Jimmy Durranty. I'm a huge Jimmy Durranty fan. Chris doesn't even know who Jimmy. I knowed you who Jimmy Duranty is. Yeah, how dare you?

He's all about missus Calabash wherever she is. I know who lou Monte is. Baby, come on it, whoa look at that, dude. My mom is a full blooded Italian Otto Bruno. My mom's made a name is Cisania brother man.

You know who lunt is? Yes, Jack jenkis Dominic the donkey, baby, Dominic, the donkey. But how about do you know Peppino? Oh, Peppino the mouse? Yeah, the Italian mouse?

Oh yeah, I remember, yeah, the little creepy little mouse. Right. I had the Goofy Gold that had the Peppino song on there. Yeah you you you scare my girl. You eat might cheese.

You even me all the time. What the fuck are we talking about? It's a fantastic song, Chris, you don't know lou Monty until you know Peppino the Italian Mouse. I know the mouse. I've seen the creepy, weird, strange little mouse puppet.

I've seen Matt. Yeah, you're in for a treat. You're thinking of Topo Gijo. Oh yeah, no, I am yeah, you're right that Sullivan. Yeah, or as my grandmother used to say, that's Ed Slivan.

Yeah. Uh what what would my mom say? Ed Salivine Ed Salivin, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Italian Italians? Am I right? Yeah?

Dim a dozen those folks. First of all, how can you be Italian? Don't you live in the freaking dust bowl of Kansas or something? Dude, my good half. Hey, hey, my mom grew up in the North Beach of San Francisco.

Dude, Oh yeah, that's Italian. Yeah, it's that's Italian. If she was north, If she was north, uh in in San franci could have Can I assume happily that she might have even been Sicilian? Uh she's from Tuscany. Oh no, okay, are you Sicilian?

All all four grandparents were were Flow explained so much, so much so, don't cross me. That's a made guy. Yeah, oh give it, don't come to Mila. I am a made guy. I just made some passa tonight.

That's right. Put egg noodles with ketchup. That's disgusting, exactly, that's disgusting. On the next episode of the Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller, we are continuing our look at season five. We're going to be talking about the Search Dog Days and the Baby Broker, and we've got the kind of the greatest hits here, all directed by Notepit like like we talked about, We've got Tony Sheen Reinholdwigie and Tony she In writing these episodes.

So we are in for a treat. I am sure, and I'm really looking forward to how we progress and Chris. For now, I think for the first nine episodes or eight more of these, we've got Nicky Mana back at his desk. But yeah, then that's it. I think the Vandal might be the last one where we see Neck.

It is the Vandal is Nick's last episode? Yeah, he's in. I believe he's in eight episodes in this season and the Vandal is his last one. Yeah, I only say eight or nine just because of this weird two parter running. Yeah, and this is the season that ends with the Jack Sue retrospective.

Right, yeah, so that's something to look forward to, slash not look forward to, by the way, I think, if I'm not mistaken, I think that Baby Broker episode is the one I was referencing earlier about Getty's wife or girlfriend or no, okay's and Getty's was kidnapped in nineteen seventy three. I look that up. Oh okay, yeah, so five years prior to this, right, Yeah, that's a weird That is a strange story because I remember looking into it when I was when I was doing Hovering that Baby Broker episode. Yeah, what a great name for an episode, baby Broker. Yeah yeah yeah.

Season five is another solid season. Looking forward to it. Thank you so much, Hoddle for being on the show. This has been terrific. It's great having you back.

Thank you guys for having me. I love you know. I love hanging out with you guys talking about this man. I love you know me. I love talking about Barney and I am still have not tired of it.

So anytime you want me back, I'm happy to happy to drop in excellent while. We look forward to talking with you again, and definitely for sure we're going to get you on the Projection Booth next year. I don't know if Chris is ever going to have you on the Culture Cast. Probably not, but you never now, Yes, that would? Are they all twenty five?

And then I'm like, I would be like a dinosaur, wouldn't I have I wouldn't even I don't think. I think I don't think there is anyone younger than me on that show. I think you're right. I think Begley's a little bit older than me. Collen's probably between our ages.

Richard. I can't remember how older than Richard's older than you, that's right, not by much, though. I don't think the same thing with Mark. I think Mark's only two years older than me. Yeah, I don't make it.

Don't make assumption. Yeah, make an assumption. You won't get an impetution. I mean, Chris, you are literally young enough to be my child. It's true.

And in an alternate universe, that's that's how you are. You. You are Topo Jizo and an alternate you are lou Monty in an alternate universe. Mouse, well lou Monty. I don't mind the toboo.

I wasn't quite as I was taken with too as I was with Peppino World World Man, what I'm moving? Yah, Pina? Oh your little mouse? So won't you go away? Find yourself another house.

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