Episode 28: The Search + Dog Days + The Baby Broker

Welcome to the Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller Podcast. I'm your host. Mike White joined me, of course, is the one and only the rookie Chris Stashue. I'm in love. Have you seen the movie Laura?

I'm in love with a woman that I can't have? Harris, do you want to go see that movie later? It's like the greatest gay joke in the history of Barney Miller. Yeah, or is Dietrich gay? Maybe questions will be answered on this episode Harris, Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Oh boy, we are talking about three episodes of the classic show Barney Miller are on this one episode of our podcast. We are in the fifth season, just cracking the top of the fifth season, talking about The Search, which was released September twenty first, nineteen seventy eight, Dog Days from September twenty eighth, nineteen seventy eight, and The Baby Broker from October fifth, nineteen seventy eight. We've got the usual suspects here. We've got no pit like directing all three of these.

We've got ryanhold Weegee, Tony Sheehan, Bob Coleery kind of a new name for me on those, but the other folks we know them very well. We have a lot of familiar suspects on this episode. Oh yeah, including people that have nothing to do with the show, like Bruce Kirby showing up. Yeah, always likes to see my Lord. Yeah, the recognizable face of Bruce Kirby my Lord.

I mean when he walks in in this first episode in the search, I was like, man, you know, he's just again, you know, he's Bruno Kirby's dead, right right exactly. Oh, you're going to see a out of him when we're watching Colombo. He is a regular Colombo dude, that's what That's what I figured. Yeah. Yeah.

He was also in The Sopranos. He played like he plays this kind of asshole doctor Italian character who hates kind of he hates how Italian, like like provincial Italian. The Sopranos are. So I was like when I saw him, I was like, oh my god, he's He's from the Sopranos. But this is this episode has I guess, one of the coming of fruition of one of the kind of holdover gags from the show.

It's kind of the show's holdover gag of them going and drag. Oh yeah, which was stressing. Which is funny because I think you just mentioned last episode. You're like, man, they haven't done that in a while. And then boom, here it is and it's played differently in this episode than I was expecting.

Yeah, this one. The way that Wojo is giggling like a little schoolgirl about oh hey, Harris is going to have to go and drag for this the steakout stuff, I'm just like, really okay, And then Barney's kind of all over. I'm like, why that's so funny? But I Whojoe not dressed up yet? It's like they said he had right, So like, so hold on a second.

So a show, a show like this that we both love, that has taken the opportunity to show the character's cross dress and has made a point didn't show Wojo doing it? Really, it feels like he must have right. Well they said he did. I mean, they make a point in this episode of saying like, Wojo, would you had to do it? And it's like, wait a second, like, hold on a second, like when did he do it right?

Or were they just saying like his opinion on it has changed? But like I felt like they said he did it right, Beca's like, why else would his opinion about a change if he didn't have to do it. It was weird because I was like, they would have not not shown that, right, they would have shown wojo and see I can't remember them doing it, but mate, did we they We didn't miss it. I just remember Fish more than anybody ever. Yes, I remember Fish as well, and I don't think we've ever seen Yamana do it.

And I would wager a guest, given where the real world is going with him, I don't think we're probably going to no but no, Mas Gail, I would have fick. I would have thought so too, And he seems like a pretty liberal guy. I don't feel like he would have been like, I'm not doing that, no property. Yeah, well the character, yes, Max Gail, the man like, I'm not sure he would have had like a but I like the conceit of this episode. It's interesting, right, that's like this woman who's looking for her father and he isn't her father, but he is her father right well, and the woman played by Jennie O'Hair as Teresa Schnabel Schnabl Sabel, she is still working today, and she's pretty familiar face, like that voice is super familiar.

But then you're just like, Okay, yeah, she's then Transparent and the Mindy projects. She was in Devil, I'm not she what's the devil in Devil? I'm pretty sure that spoilers, Oh, movies twenty twelve years old? Watch yet. That's fair, But it's be a long time to prepare to see an m Night Shamalan produced film.

That's fair. But also on my podcast, The Culture Cast, we have a statute of limitations for spoilers. It's ten years. Like I mean, let me put it this way. You've seen that movie before.

It's essentially a shitty Twilight Zone episode. There are four people trapped in an elevator and they find out about the terrible things they did in their lives and their face with those things. Does what does that sound like? What that sounds original Wilight Zone all the way? Yeah?

Or Tales from the Cryft or Tailors from the Dark Side. I do like the whole mustache thing. I like how Ron Glass has just taken to Bernie to task about his mustache. I love that. I also love that.

Of course, Harris does not buy off the rack and that he has to have like the top tier shoes he's got. He's getting his dress fitted and getting some bead work done. All this It was fantastic, Barney. Yeah, come on, Harris is such a fucking cool customer, Like just the coolest character on this show, one of the honestly one of the coolest police officer characters I can really think of. He's so unflappable period.

Yeah. Yeah, there's only a few times, like when he gets dirty, he does not like that at all because it messes up his clothes, right, and essentially anytime he has to deal with Dietrich, he's a little flapped. But to be fair, yeah, dealing with Dietrich seems like dealing with a space alien from the planet Neptune. So when they said that mister Schnabel was at the Continental Spa, I was just like, is he going to be Marty? Is that Marty's last name?

Like I was waiting for mister Schnabel to come in and be flamboyantly gay because he's at the Continental Spot And I'm just like, oh, yeah, the spas in the seventies in New York. Yeah, gay sex all over the place. No, no, anything but this man. Yes, he might have had some problems in the past, but it's all done now and definitely he's a straight shooter, if you know what I mean. It was problems with having sex with so many women.

Yeah, yeah, it sounds like he had a little case of a right. Which is really funny because I mentioned that he shows up in The Sopranos. The character that he's playing in this show is actually very similar, like very much like this just dickhead, but like in that he's a doctor in this. I don't understand why he's a dickhead in this. I don't I don't understand his character because he knows that that woman is his daughter.

Yeah, why at any point admit it? Like why kan? Yeah? Yeah, I mean well, I guess he might have some doubt because it sounds like her mom might have gone out with a lot of the patients at this thing. But yeah, I think he realizes for sure by the end, like she's really his, and the way that he kind of like, yeah, it's a Bernie Miller's show, so he's just like, yeah, well, maybe we'll get together for Christmas kind of right.

It's a very Barney Miller. Yeah, I honestly think that we you you kind of pointed something out that I did want to mention, Like the show now has like there's like a Barney Miller ending, and I think it's this, like people learn a lesson, they get close to being punished by the system, but ultimately people can And I honest to god, if you want to, if you want me to synthesize the showdown, the message of Barney Miller is we don't need the comps to solve our problems. They can help facilitate them. Yes, And like that's what almost every time in this show ends up happening if someone learns a lesson through the Barney Miller and the men in the precinct. But very rarely do people ever go to jail.

Everything is solved outside of the judicial system. Yes, because nobody ever goes to jail. The worst they go to Bellevue, where they still probably end up getting out. So and you know, they go into the holding cell and that's where they get to really sit down and think about things, really evaluate their life and be like, Okay, I've made some bad decisions here. Maybe you know, mister sciences um, maybe blew up a little bit.

So he's upset the kids are watching crappy TV, but you know, why aren't they watching my stuff? And I'm just of course, I'm thinking like Bill Nye or Beachman's World and these kind of things, or the original Mister Wizard. I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, I mean those are great shows, so beating the shit out of it? Can you imagine Bill and I beating the shit out of the kids? Yes, yes I can, Bill, Bill, Bill, That's what they scream is they're running away from I like that they don't show it obviously, but I like that this like little nevish guys chasing these children around trying to kick the shit out of them because they were making fun of him.

Like that's pretty funny. It was a great, great c story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that. You know, this episode operates on all cylinders and it tells a different Barney Miller kind of story than we're used to because like there's like, what are the stakes in this episode? Really, like there aren't any like that woman and her father and like that you know that the doctor or that the doctor the scientists is going to go out at the end somehow, so but I like that this is kind of a rather chilled out episode of Barney Miller, and it has some pretty good jokes.

I mean the gag with the gag with Harris in the cross dressing and like him getting to the fine because it's the end of the episode, which I think is super duper smart that they leave it to the end, and I like that scene. That scenees mad progressive for this show. Yeah, holy shit, Like what was what was going on? What was going on in that final scene? Right?

It was weirdly progressive. Can I think about one very strange thing at the beginning of this episode? Sure, d Duke's close ups, do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah? Yeah, right, yeah?

What was going on with that? That was so strange? It was like they I don't know if the camera just wasn't set up right or if they were like, hey, what's going on, Like we need to reshoot this, But if like they said, all right, you know, let's take you and put you against this like green Wall in this ugly chair, and you just deliver your alliance right here, and then we'll cut it in later on. Because there's no matching. I mean, this is obviously shot post because of the way that his arms move and stuff will like cut back to the master shot and his arms will be in different positions, and I'm just like, what is happening here?

And just the way that the camera is, the camera looks like it's if it were set up in that shot, it would have been like coming through the doorway right, and I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Some weird some weird pickup shots. Man, it's strange. Man, I've never seen anything like that before. I don't know how that made it under the watchful eye have known pit Like these episodes are normally like pretty like pretty lawless.

It's honestly kind of shocking and how not how well made the show is. But like, man, the show is really well made. There are very few times do we see the seams of this show. And this is a show that has ostensibly one set. Yeah, yeah, one really kind of not much of a set, Like I don't know how far forward it extends, but like far back, like I'm pretty sure the door to the locker room is there's nothing back then.

Oh yeah, no, that takes you right off set, right, And like, I don't I assume that Barney's office is a real set connected to the rest, but like their Barney's set is not four walls like two. It's the one behind the sofa and the one behind I guess it's three walls. Yeah yeah, but like, yeah, I don't know, like the show was always so well made, it was such a weird thing, like they never do this, they never never do this. I think it must have just been like they had no other choice, like get it out the door. Yeah yeah, I mean I know, like you know, I I was saying that they would spend like late nights doing this step.

So I'm just like, what did they decide we need better line reading? Or has something happened with the take? You know, just right? Yeah, I don't know what was going on there, but I'm glad that you noticed too, because I was just like, wow, this is really freaky, to the point where I was like, I have to put this in my notes otherwise I'm going to forget. But well, it's just again for me, it was just like a weird standout moment of the show just not looking as good as it normally does.

It still looks really good for a show yeah, made in the mid seventies. Oh yeah, And I mean I know it's because it lends itself to this timeless feel of that precinct. But that precinct only exists in the seventies. That doesn't exist like that now. But that's what it's so imbued with, that seventies feel.

That like, even though it's clearly said in the seventies, it has that timeless quality to it. And it's so well made. I mean, so is Colombo. So was well, maybe not col Check but definitely Barney Miller and Colombo. Yeah, I mean, I would say this room is not necessarily as iconic as Colchack's office, But you know, Colchack's office was pretty well done and the decoration and everything, but I like this one better just because it feels more lived in and you can really see the grime a lot of times.

Oh yeah, I mean I love the precinct itself as a character. We spend all of our time there. I mean, we've talked about this before and multiple episodes of this show. We're never going to see anything else. Yeah, we're gonna see like snippets maybe we've seen.

We have seen so few times outside of the Precinct we could probably still count on two hands. Yeah, we're not to double digits yet I don't think we might not even be off of one hand. Really maybe the first season I think had like the lion share of us outside of the precinct. Oh yeah, but I think we've one time last season two times maybe I know that, like the eviction one with like the squatters, but outside of that, I'm not sure there was another time. And like again, like that's why this show feels so interesting in a way, because it could have fallen into this pitfall of like it's a boring show set in a very set bound precinct, but like it doesn't ever feel set bound.

It really doesn't, even though it's like the most set bound show I've ever watched, and I've seen stuff like I Love Lucy, which is also very setbound, but like this is the this is for me that if I ever want to point someone at, like the show that's setbound but still works, it's this one. Like these kinds of shows don't even work really no, No, And then even this, I don't know if what this was shot on. This doesn't feel like it was shot on film. It feels like it was shot on maybe like one inch videotape or something. Yeah, the way that it looks it sure does.

Yeah, and then when they do stuff like those close up shots that you could really tell because the quality is like severely diminished. Yeah, it's like, can you guys maybe like you know, do a digital upgrade or something, you know, add some special effects in hair with some lasers. You know, a bob like just cuts two shots after the commercial of the enterprise circling right, Hanna, you know what, say what you will about them doing that to the ts. Those quality of life upgrades, they they serve a purpose. I'm not sure I completely agree with them, but like, please give this show something because, like, god damn it, like this show deserves so the show ran so long, and like it is part of in a lot of ways, like the culture of the seventies, and it's an important TV show.

Like why it hasn't gotten a significant reappraisal by one of these boutique video boutique video boutique DVD, I guess Releasers is kind of beyond me. Well, one thing that might help spur that is something that we found out right before we started recording Tonight, which is now Barney is on Amazon Prime, so that hopefully more people will start watching the show again, and if people don't believe that that's how things actually happen in this world. The X Files coming back is solely because of people actually watching it on Netflix. Oh yeah, X Files was on Netflix in the early tens and X Files came back because people were just blowing up Netflix with the X Files. So if you watch a lot of something on a platform, they will actually take into consideration maybe doing something more with it.

I'm not advocating to like bring Barney Miller back a digital recorrection or something, because again, there are very few shows like this show. Yeah, and there the show, I mean, the show deserves it because like if I love Lucy Got It, like, this is classic television worth revisiting. Definitely. We should note real quick that mister Science he has been on this show many times. Arnie Freeman, He's been on here three times prior and we'll be on here two more times before the end of the series.

And then I think, yeah, he lived until nineteen eighty six, but this was one of his last things that he ever did was work on Barney Miller. Yeah, and he plays the same character before this episode y twice. Yeah, but he never plays the same character again. So yeah, yeah, so yeah, he's one of those familiar faces that we love to see around here man showing up. Yeah please, yeah, I'm hoping that, you know, we well, I know for sure we'll see Bruce Kirby again, but Bruno, Yeah, Bruce, we'll see him again when it comes to Colombo.

But maybe we'll see him again on here, I don't know, yeah, maybe, yeah, yeah, No, this is a very solid episode, very quick. I was very surprised a lot of these episodes that I watched last night. I'm just like, man, that just really cooks along. It takes the thirty minutes and just right through it, right. Oh yeah, and that gag at the end really is like oh yeah, like weird, it's totally weird.

Like I can't tell what kind of I don't think it's I don't know, everybody all of a sudden in the precinct is very progressive and it's I appreciate it. Yeah, but like this is the same show that did have an episode titled rape. Well, it's weird because in I think it's the next episode, when Rosalind Cash shows up, she's dressed almost the same way that that Harris had been dressed. In the previous episode. Yeah, I was like, is that I'm purpose us Like even Andrews like, is that the same outfit that Harris was wearing.

I was like, I don't think it is, but yeah, she's She's as tall and statuesque as Harris was in his outfit. I love me some Rosalind Cash, primarily because she plays John Emdall in the Adventures of Bucker Rubons Across the Eighth to mention. For me, it's all about her kick ass character in The Mega Man, especially when she's just like gunning down those zombie vampires and stuff with a machine gun. She's freaking awesome. I still need to watch that movie.

I've never seen any of those the only because that's Tim, that's Tim Matthe Tim Mathieson, that's Richard Matheson. That's an adaptation of I Am Legend, right. Yes, yeah, I'm more of a fan of the Will Smith would myself. Well, you know, I especially like that happy ending version, and so that's why I'm excited for the sequel. So I really want to see more of Will Smith.

I want to see him just burn up the box office again. Yeah, I can't wait sequel to I Am legend. Yeah, and my favorite I said this to Father Malone once. My favorite thing abou the I Am Legend adaptations that we've gotten. Nobody ever gives a shit about the actual title of the story and why it is the way it is.

Why would anybody ever address that in any story they've ever done for the I Am Legend adapt Like why that's the coolest part of the story is, like what the title means? And if we don't even care, like whatever, cgi vampire zombies fighting will Smith? Which much more important it might be in the Vincent Price version? I can't remember because that one was actually adapted by Mattheson. I think he might have been using an assumed name for that one, saying, yeah, that's a really good version, though I still prefer just having Charlton Heston out there in La fighting against Anthony Zerbie and just yeah, all of these like little blacks floitation touches to it and stuff like Rosalind Cash.

It's so good. I need to watch the Omega man. I've never seen it, but it's on my It's a it's on a long list of those like seventies seventies sci fi movie right, Oh yeah, yeah, I'm seventies sci fi is not something I'm super well versed in, so but seventies cop TV shows, on the other hand, something I'm well versed in. I mean, it's like it's genuine it's it's genuinely funny to me. How many of these cops like this is the second technically almost third if you want to count col jags can't have cop adjacent but like second cop show we've done now Barney Miller, So I guess it's the original one we did Hill Street Blues, coming soon, Coming soon.

This is yet another appearance of Joseph V. Perry, who is the owner of these dogs, and he's running a dog fight thing. I mean, that's pretty unsettling to me that there's this dog fighting ring going on and that he just sees nothing wrong with it. You know, it's two fighters going against each other. Kind of unsettling.

And that's where we get the name of the episode, dog Days. So it's not necessarily about you know, August or anything, but it's about all of this dog fighting that's going on and there's a dog that bites uh woe Joe, and he's super afraid of getting all the rabies treatments, and I'm just like, this feels like a like a pet more than a like one of the fighters. But I guess he was one of the fighters, so you don't know what kind of diseases he may have. So there's this whole thing. We've got to find the dog.

And then, of course, like you said, Chris, we can't leave the station. So the dog shows up at the folks. He's here, He's here, this giant ass German shepherd being dragging Levitt in behind him. Lovett is pretty great in this episode. My god, Levitt is pretty great in both of the episodes.

Yes, he's It's disgusting. I'm disgusted, frankly that I actually have to say. I like Levin. I like how useless he is in this episode and how he and how he apologizes for his uselessness too. I love when he gets pulled across the room by the dog and slams into the cage.

I really appreciate that. Yeah, I mean, that's a big ass German shepherd and Levitt is a small dude. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. I will tell you though, I really like the look of Joseph V. Perry.

He's just such a he looks like such a dickhead, you know what I mean, Like, just like the characters that he plays. If you look through his IMDb, like, I'm not sure it tells the tale of his career, but if you look at him, you can imagine the kind of characters that he would play because he just looks kind of like he's got to stick up his ass and he plays and in the character that he plays in this episode, Lasorda is kind of kind of that way. Yes, I I don't know. I think this episode's more shocking that Barney pulls his gun and he's about to blow the dog away. No, I was like, all of a sudden, guns and now Barney's just gonna blow the dog away.

Yeah, nonchalantly too, He's like like sighting in. It's like whoa, whoa, whoa what? Yeah, well it's that whole thing. He doesn't what whoa Joe, you know, like they have to get this dog tested, and he's going to do whatever he needs to to get that dog man. That's yeah, it was wild.

Yeah. I And according to IMDb trivia again not to use them as the reference point of all reference points, but they claim that this is the only episode is the only episode the first episode. Hold on, I think it's the only Yeah, this is supposedly the only episode that anyone draws a gun in the twelfth Precinct. Wow, well that can't be true, right, It doesn't feel like it could be true. Maybe one of only one of the members, because there was the hostage one that happened a couple episodes ago where it was Don Kalfa had a gun and was there Barney's doing his whole thing.

I'm holding my hands up to for the audience at home, you know, holding the hands up and just like, now, wait a minute, you're gonna want to think about this. But yeah, Don Calfe and his brother character they both had guns off memory serves. So it's going to be one of the actual policemen. Yeah, the episod marks as it's a member of the twelve person But that doesn't even feel right either. Yeah, well we didn't see Channel blow that guy away the drawn and aiming a gun.

Are you telling me we never see wal Jehoa's aim a gun even in the steak of that. I mean, you know what, IMDb's gotta be right. Maybe I don't know. It feels that feels like it can't be true. Yeah, we'll have to test that out with Auto when he comes back for this season.

You tell me what episode did they the only member of the precinct ever draw a gun on days? Yeah, he'll just jump right on. I mean if he very well might. You could message him right now and he might respond. He should know.

If anyone should know, it should be the guy who wrote the dome that. You can pick up the Files of the Old One too, which is a great book that you can pick up over at Amazon and bear Manner Media. Remember that, I know I was gonna say bare Back Media, different kind of book about men with mustaches. Well, and speaking of mustaches, there is no mustache on Harris, and I love that he's using a mustache to pay a murkin if you will, Yeah, I was so, I was so. I was actually really curious because right they have the whole bee plot of the episode is Rosalind Cash, beautiful woman, Harris in love with women.

So Harris is making on Rosalind Cash. But you ask yourself, because we watched these episodes back to back, he did shave the mustache. Yeah, what happened to the mustache? He shaved it? There you can't fake shaving a mustache off.

There's no way to fake it. So the question then becomes is that they let his mustache grow back and then they start filming or is it a fake one? Ladies and gentlemen, They actually answered that question. I was shocked, because that's continuity. Yeah, and there are few and far between times in this show that we have had continuity exactly.

Yeah, it's wild, and I really appreciate that it's there. And he yeah, he is so concerned now about his masculinity that he is wearing the fake mustache. I'm like, yeah, then when it starts to come off when he's talking to her, yeah, it's I mean again, it's it's I was really glad that they used it because I was curious, like they could mind this for some really easy laughs or interesting jokes, especially with the whole back and forth with how Lyndon and Ron Glass about his mustache the episode before and they mentioned that too. Yeah, which it's just all of a sudden like there's continuity. But let me tell you something, we shouldn't be surprised because this is a continuity episode at its heart, because apparently Barney and Liz are fucking separating.

Yeah, what really kind of the heart of this whole off screen baby, holy mo. Yeah, she's on a vacation with the kids, and I like how he's like, oh that, what's his daughter's now twenty one? I think he says his sons aged up as well, and I'm like, oh, time is passing, Liz is away, you know. Of course Dietrich's got to be like, well, you know, taking separ vacations is very healthy. And then again, she could just be leaving him.

I'm like, oh, geez, So I guess by the end of the episode, we're led to believe that Barney and his wife for put. Yeah, we're gonna hear the big old d I v O rs D I v O r CE coming up pretty soon here, Yeah, which, I mean we talked about it the last time we saw her, and it's not a surprise, but it's handled really poorly. Yeah, for a character that was build in the credits of this show. I mean, again, the way the shows used Barbara Berry, I think one could make the case that she never should have been in the show to begain with. Yeah, right, I mean, at this at this check junction in time, right, it is not fair to her, But at the same time, she was build for like three seasons and she didn't do any work.

So I don't know if she got money for those episodes she wasn't in. I would hope so. But she was build for like three seasons at least as part of the main cast, but she was not. She was stopped being in episodes of the show after like the first season. Really, yeah, so I don't I don't know.

I think it's just really poorly handled. It's essentially all handled through conversations on a telephone that you never hear, right, which is a very I don't know if it's a lazy technique of screenwriting, but it just it doesn't feel great because you can't hear the other side of the conversation, and you know, Barbara Barry's not in the episode. Oh yeah, that's why they use this like kind of half ass framing device of Oh, she's on the other end of the phone and they're communicating the messages that she's leaving for him. It's like, okay, so she's not in the episode exactly. Yeah.

Yeah, it's kind of a shame. It just feels like we have to write her out. We're trying to do the right thing, but it's really not the right thing. They should have just let it be. I mean, unless they introduce romance into Barney's life later on in this series, there's no reason to even address this stuff with Liz, right right exactly, Like essentially just like leave it alone.

Don't even mention it. Like if if somebody remembers an ass about her character, let that be their problem. Because like again, like it's not like they mention her all the time. They go out of their way to mention her in this episode, but like I can't I can't remember the last time they mentioned her outside of when she just shows up. They don't just mentioned her, and they don't mention her out of pocket the way Fish did with Bernie's Yeah, right, because that was like a constant.

It's like it's almost she's mentioned so much that she needs to show up so you have a frame of reference as to who she is. Like Barney never even had to mention his wife. And Barney has had all of what two encounters with women who have come on to him that lawyer I think in that one episode and a squatter woman I think a little bit. But like it's not like, right, it's not like everybody's like creaming themselves over Barney Miller either, So I don't. Yeah, that's like the one small gray spot in this entire show is Barbara Barry's character because it doesn't need to be there, and now it's like the way they're handling it now, it's like it really shouldn't have should have just left it be.

Yeah, yeah, I mean we'll have to see season six what's gonna happen with Barney's love life? And I kind of hope that they don't go down that path. I was gonna ask you, like, do you is that something you, as a fan of this show want to see? Not really, no, be either. I'm fine with him being this benevolent dad type of character, right and you know like those times where women have flirted with him has been kind of cute.

See, but like where does that go again? Like we don't see shit outside of the precinct, So why even bother like even with even with Woe Joe, And I almost said Monique Marvels and wentworth wentworth, Yeah, Monique Marmlestein would have been that would have been the answer I went to. Yeah, they they really were not ever shown outside of the precinct together, other than the time where it was necessitated by the plot, right exactly, it was like the Steakout. It was like Steakout part two essentially, not like part two, but like the second time the show did that like steak out thing. Yeah, it was like a sting operation at the hotel ers right right, But they never showed them outside of the show either, so at least out of the precinct.

So yeah, I don't know why they did it. I mean, I guess somebody was just like, we really need to answer the question as to where Barney's wife has been. Yeah, but I'm not sure people were clamoring for that, because again, the action and the bulk of the shows anything really is just the interaction between the main cast and the people who they're bringing in. You know. It was there's not even really any secondary characters in this show anymore.

The people that were are now part of the main cast, like James Gregory. There's not even like the people that show up. I guess you could make the case that someone like Arnie Freeman is a series regular because he shows up like six times, right, or a guest character, but like that's the other thing about this show, like the guest characters are always one offs for the most part, so I don't know, like it's the way the show treated some of its characters I think is always kind of strange, and I feel like they were just working it out while creating the show, which I mean, that's that's not new, but I think maybe the idea could have been refined down a little bit more before they launched the show.

And obviously this was the second iteration of the show. I mean, the first version of the show was much more even about the things outside of the precinct. So yeah, it feels like they course corrected, but they didn't course correct enough, right. It feels like just one or two degrees more would have fixed I think the bulk majority of the problems, like why does Barney even need to be married, They've never really done anything like take Liz aside, They've never really even done anything with the fact that he is married. So Fish was the one where that was the marriage was the whole thing, right, Yeah, he was defined by that bad marriage, whereas Yamana, I'm like, is he married?

Is he just some old dude, some old Yeah? What was his backstory to things? Like did he become an itinerant gambler? And that's when is Gal left him back in I don't know, fifty five or something. I don't know, what's your story, Yamana?

Right, And and that's the funny thing, Well, that's the funny thing. I feel like the show started out as it was obviously the Barney Miller Show, and then I bet at some point they probably I bet at some point they probably even regretted naming the show Barney Miller, you know what I mean, because like they could have named it like the Twelfth the Police of the Twelfth Precinct or something like that, right, because again, like Barney is not even really the main character of the show anymore. It is, like I would contend now that where we are now in the fifth season, the show is pure ensemble, and like I think maybe this is like the final like vestiges of it not being an ensemble show is like the Barney's unnecessary backstory with his wife, right, because nobody else has one, like you said, like nobody at this point.

Well, it's like they didn't name well, it's a show called Brooklyn ninety nine. They didn't name that after that, dick head from Saturday Night at Live. I can't remember that Andy Samberg, but they could have. I mean, he's the main character, right right, yeah, right, And that's and that's like my contention with Barney Miller is like at some point, and I don't think it was immediately. I think it it took like a season to really get it into two probably to get into that ensemble mode.

But the show really is an ensemble cast. And yeah, it is helmed by how Linden, but how Lindon is the straight man of the show. We talked about that last time, and in him being the straight man to the show, he's he is the main character because a lot of the jokes run through him, but he's it's an ensemble, He's not really the main character. So this is like one of these weird just like vestiges of a different show that is not this one. And yeah, maybe we don't ever have to hear about Liz again, which I would be okay with.

There's going to be at least one more Liz. I guarantee it, and I wouldn't be surprised if she's back one more time. Just yeah, I seal the deal. Yeah, you mentioned the opening credits and with Liz's appearance there, and I was very shocked to see a different opening ensemble in the next episode, The Baby Broker. All this sudden.

Dietrich and Levitt have their own cards. They are not together in that two show where they interact a little bit and said we've got them now by themselves. I'm like, all right, kind of cool, and I'm okay with it because I hate to say this. I know we knew it was. I want to say it.

We knew it was. This is the first time where I'm like, Levitt is the best part of this episode. Not only is he the best part of the episode, he saves this episode from being bad. Yeah, yeah, Levitt, They're what he had worth thirty seven hours. And then somehow he gets his hands on some amphetamines meth I'm assuming it's meth, right, I'm I was thinking uppers myself, but yeah, that's meth amphetamines, right.

Pretty wild that he's on those little yellow bills and just yeah, at least for a few minutes until finally catches up with him and he hunks right out, crashes real hard. Yeah, snoring in Barney's chair like that. The sad thing about this episode is it is the first time I've liked Levitt, and almost nothing else in this episode works for me. Yeah, I mean, I didn't mind the Evor Francis character. He reminded me a lot of the professors from Howard Hawks's Ball of Fire where they're putting together a dictionary of slang.

But his dictionary is all about swear words and epithets, so that was kind of interesting him showing up. But that whole thing of that he insulted this woman, but then she's taking a bath and she won't come out of the bath, so that's why they let him go. That's really weak sauce. Yeah, I mean, I honestly feel like what would have been better would have been giving that story a little bit more time, a little bit more weight, a little bit more room to breathe, because it really feels like they devote so much of the episode to this adoption story, and like the compelling the compelling story in the episode is the stuff with Levet because it's funny, and then the stuff with Ivor Francis because it's also funny.

Him being like what did he say? What was that word? Like what are they saying? Like that's that's leading down an interesting comedic road, and then it's like nope, bam, right back to this really boring storyline with these two people who are trying to adopt a baby, or I guess adopt a baby from a woman who's having it who's German, who wants to go back to Germany to keep the baby for whatever reason, and there's this lawyer who brokers the deal, and for whatever reason, it takes way too long for them to realize Dietrich speaks German. Why the fuck did they not?

This guy's name is d Trick. Well, Drick, he is Dtrick, And it's just like as soon as they're like, oh, we don't have anyone that speaks German, I'm like, well, where's d Trick. He's got to know how to speak German. This motherfucker knows everything. He's an alien, yes he has to know so gay alien from the planet Neptune at this point, because he's also gay.

Now headcanon, Dietrick's gay look. Ron Glass is a good looking guy, and Ron Glasses good looking woman. So there you go. I don't fault Dietrich, but I do fault this episode for not going the moment this woman walks in and starts speaking German. He would have piped up, you know, he would have said something yeah, And it's so lazy that they're like, no, he's off screen.

It's like where was he right, because he just like walks in. He's like bit to knock. But it's like wait, what, wait, what, Like wasn't this part of this to begin with? It should have been like he's out doing something and then he brings in the professor with the smut dictionary and then it's like, oh, what do we have here? And then starts speaking German.

But yeah, it's just like where did he go? Is he in the bathroom? Like fish right? I didn't. I That was the one kind of weird thing about this episode.

That's like, you've got this woman who speaks German and Landisburg's character's last name is Dietrich and you know he's a weirdo, and you know this dude speaks German and they do have him speak German. It's just like it takes way too long to get there and they don't really do anything with it. Well. This whole plot of the surrogate motherhood thing, it feels too similar to stuff that we've seen before, and even that they have talk of test two babies towards the end of it, and of course the father's just like, oh no, no, we can't do anything like that. I'm just like, wait a second.

Wasn't there just a joke recently about a couple that was trying to do in vitro and the guy looked a little bit like Dietrich and so it was basically like, if his swimmers don't work, maybe this woman would sleep with Dietrich. Yeah, Dietrick can't be gay because he's fucking nuns on the show. That's fair. But what if he's bisexual? He can be by that's absolutely fun I think he is bisexual at this point, Like I think he's sexual.

Yeah, we could be he could be pand sexually. Even what's funny is like at this point that joke that they made really was not a joke, Like I don't know what it was like, it seemed like a genuine compliment, like, yeah, Dietrich is an interesting character because like it's I wish, this is so terrible. Wouldn't it have been better if they had given him his own show? Yeah? Kind of I would have been fine with that.

But he would have had to have surrounded himself with other more normal people, otherwise it would just have been too weird, right right, But yeah, I had Steve Landisburg. At the end of Barney Miller moved out to California and gone to a different precinct, and all of a sudden, it's a whole different right. No, occasionally Leavitt stops by because now he's like a small town sheriff someplace. Right, Oh my god, like a Barney Fife ask, Oh yeah, god, yeah, oh no, I want this show so badly now god, yeah, I mean just gets to what's Steven right up to He's essentially Steve Landisburg reincarnated. Yeah, why not?

Mitch Hedberg's also dead, so never Yeah, but I will tell you, like the Landisburg character we've I mean, the Landisburg is just a fantastic actor. And the Dietrich character, the Dietrich character is the best part of the show now, like almost bar none, and like it's he's such a good part of the show that, unlike Fish, he's not getting in the way of everything else. That was the other problem. By the end of it, Fish, I was just like just go I mean, you go listen to those episodes where like Fish needs to get out of here, but like, I don't. I don't know if I'll get to that point with Dietrich.

I hope that I don't. Maybe he'll become too quirky, but he's not there yet. There were a couple of times, I think, either in this episode or the previous one, where it would be like, joke joke, joke, joke, joke, pause Dietrich's line, and I'm just like, I don't know if I need that little button on everything from Arthur or not. But right it's like, just be careful. He don't overuse this guy because he's so good you don't need to have him comment on every joke, which is also my concern with this show because that's what happened to Fish.

Yeah, where it's like, and what does old Fish you have to say? And it's like, I don't fucking care anymore. It's probably gonna be my anoid said yeah, yeah, okay, man, we really turned to our opinion on Ada. But again, it's just really that that character of Fish just out I don't think he outgrew the show. I think the show outgrew him.

Yeah. Now I would give a Vagoda a chance, you know, just for old time's sake, but you know other people wouldn't. Other people might have to say, you know, it's business selling spathetic. Sorry, I just rewatched that scene recently, and I'm just like, so good everything. I mean, that's the you know what that's a sad thing is like a Vagoda is a great actor.

Oh yeah, I just the Fish character like became too bad. Yeah yeah, I just gotta look out of the way of everything. Yeah, which is why I like the concern with Landisburg is genuine, because like he's so good that like I'm concerned, like if you start running all the jokes through him, Like okay, so he's the Patrick Ewing of the show. The offense goes through him. But like at some point we're going to get tired of that, right, and it's not want to see it anymore, and like it's not there yet, but like you could get there very easily.

Well, And it was nice that we had a little bit of Jack Sue in this episode because it's like, oh, finally, like to have him at the intro and this whole thing about if you drive south from Detroit, what's the first foreign country that you hit, which is a nice Detroit factory. I was wondering. I was like, is Mike smiling? Oh yeah, I must be smiling here for this Detroit Facts with Mike White, Detroit's own Mike White loves Detroit Facts exactly. That was a good one.

I was thinking to myself. I was like, Mike's got to be a enjoy and Mice enjoying this. Yeah, I was very happy. Yeah, anytime Detroit gets a mention in any sort of medium, I'm just like, oh, that's cool, you know. And most of the time it's like people just shitting on our city.

But you know, that's okay, we can take it. Yeah, you've got to be nice to than people in Detroit. They're living in mad Max times. You guys eat eza cooked in aluminum pans. I don't know what the fuck you guys, black aluminum pans.

You guys, don't know what the fuck you guys are doing. You guys, you're doing it, and that's all that matters. The Troits style. I don't even know what that is. Man's pizza.

It's a little Caesar style pizza, that's it. Yeah, Hey, Detroit's the town a little Caesar's Built, that's true, and Dominoes and yeah in all those car companies. Yeah, that's all those definitely pizza. Yeah that now, I thought that was funny. I was like, God, a trite fact of all things.

And I love how Barney's a fucking dick. It's nine o'clock, dude, Like he's like, by the way, I don't actually here early you fuck it. Barney's like, well, I don't know how to do it, and like he tries to pivot so hard it's like, oh yaikes, cringe a little little MutS there. Yeah, but yeah, man, you know it's it's too bad really because Phoebe Doran and Frederick Cook and Michael Durrell like just not given a damn thing to do. And that storyline is not interesting.

I'm sorry, Like, is it meant? It's not funny? And so is it supposed to be serious? Are we supposed to be like we're shut shedding a light on what's going on in New York? Like it wasn't that either, So I don't know what was going on, but like a baby mill is what they were talking about.

Yeah, I don't I don't know. Not the most interesting subject material for this show we've seen. I would have preferred another you know, sex worker episode. Really, yeah, it's been a while. Yeah, this is like babies and pregnancy and I don't know.

And then like the angle of the woman speaking German like what it feels solely for Landisburg jokes, but then they don't really make anything too right. Yeah, like you know, condensed for time joke. Yes, and then he speaks German. Yeah. Yeah, this one could have been a lot better.

There's a couple moments, but yeah, for the most part, it's like all right, And again I think Harris is named the Mustache so kind yeah, yeah, yeah, and Ron Carrey is actually pretty good, so hell has officially frozen over. He's the best part of this episode period. Like, his mannerisms are super weird. He's like kind of like twitchy and just seems like, you know the way people get when they're tired, if you've been super tired and stayed up all night, you know the way you can get, and he does a pretty good job of doing it. I don't know if he actually I probably he didn't, probably stay up, but when you first see him, he looks like when Barney's talking to him, he's like, hey, Barney, yeah, for thirty three hours, he looks like death warmed over.

They made him look like oh, they put like they definitely old manned him up a little bit with some with some makeup, but he's great. I'm like, like I said, Hell has frozen over. Ron Carrey is the best part of this episode. Ron Carrey method actor. Yeah, no, no, him, I gotta I gotta stay up for another twenty four hours.

Yeah, I will tell you, man, like in all honestly, I used to stay up all the time when all nighters. Dude, I don't even like, I can't fathom now, oh my god. And like he's in his like forties, and so his character is supposed to be like a cop doing a thirty three hour beat like yeah, yeah, right to stay on your feet, dude, Like, yeah, I can see why he's suddenly even though he's got the pills, he ends up falling asleep. Yeah, just like dead to the world. That was a nice moment at the end with yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a again, Like that's the other thing.

There's a nice moment between Barney and Ron carry And we haven't gotten a lot of those yet. So yeah, I don't know, and hey, the times have changed. He's part of the show's main cast with his own title card. Yeah, yeah, we're gonna have at least one more change to that title sequence, but that'll probably be the beginning of season six when there's no more Nick, which is really a sad thought. And they don't ever add anybody else.

I don't think they do. Know. Interesting, Yeah, it's interesting. Ron Carry ends up being the last kind of main castmember added, right, I mean I don't want to, you know, I'm not swearing to this, you know, I don't want otto. They're like throwing stuff at his radio when he's at home.

You fools, your fools. How could you you forgot my favorite character, Chicky? You forgot my favorite character, Mike. He returns the Return of Mike season returning all Mike all the time. Yeah, that's what the final episode of this show should be called, Barney Millard, the Return of Mike.

That should be the way the final episode ends is just Mike comes. He's like where did everybody go? Right? Like, hello, I've got my soap. It's made from little pieces of others soul.

It's been like the funniest way to the show. To end. Chano just shows up at the end, where did everybody go? And then he's like babbles in Spanish, yeah or or or or you have Holland and waking up in a bed next Bob Newhart. Oh no.

He wakes up next to Wentworth, Oh went were I had the craziest dream that I was a cop. He calls her. Oh no, no, no, no, no no. A Lyndon wakes up in bed next her and goes, Alice, I had the weirdest dream there you go. Oh.

He's like, come on, mel let's go. Yeah. And then and then and then they opened the door and their mailman is fucking wojohoets and their next or neighbor is Ron Glass And it's like he was always putting, oh my god, yeah you were there and you and you, yeah, all of you. So you gotta say it elsewhere. Whoa Joe's is like forty five year old special needs person with the snow globe.

Oh Man. Barney Millers is real dark at the end of the coda, It's like the coda at the end of the Dark Tower series. You really want to know what happened in Barney Miller watched Past the Edge yeah, you know, like I will say now that we're kind of at the point where more than likely no one else is going to be added, and it's just you know, reducing by one. Unfortunately, I'm okay with this being the cast for the rest of the show, right, I mean, they really are firing on all cylinders, and even Ron Carey is kind of bringing I mean bringing his a game. Yeah, but man, where's Luger?

No luger in these episodes? James Gregory like adds something, Where didn't he show up when when Harris was in a cross dress? Like what was up with that? Feels like a perfect moment. Or even the German lady could have been like, yeah, I thought some some of these guys during the war, Yeah, just said randomly say Nazis, Yeah, say crowds, crowds.

Yeah, yeah, Jerry's gonna you know, they were always trying to take us over. Yeah, yeah, where's that? I don't know. I missed James Gregory. I do.

He's part of the show. He's a main cast member. Get that man out here. Get he's that voicing dragons, James do whatever the James Gregory is doing late in life voicing dragons for rank and invest it might have been putting on some eight makeup at this time as well. Oh yeah, yeah, boy, that's right, eight makeup.

Yeah. I think these three episodes. The first one's a pretty stock in trade Barney Miller. The second one, I think is I think the first two were just kind of stock, and the third one is not great. No, no, yeah, well, well we'll hit duds as we go through here.

Yeah, yeah, as long as they're not all duds at once, as long as it's not three duds in a row, which we've kind of avoided that so far. So did U did Luger make the credits? Did they cut him out to make rooms? I don't think so. Okay, all right, I hope not.

All right, we'll have to pay attention next month when we come back and talk about Accusation, the Prisoner and Loan Shark. We've got another episode directed by Max Gale coming up, and Lieutenant Scanlon comes back in the next episode. Oh boy, well, yeah, I'm excited. George Murdock is a real asshole. Yes he is.

Yeah, He's just one of those actors that looks like an asshole. He's what Lugar could have been had he taken the Dark Path. Yeah for oh for real. Yeah, and Michael Tucci shows up again. Oh cool from Greece.

That's the only thing I know him from. Yeah, No, that's pretty much SHOPSIOPSI. I don't know what it. It wasn't POTSI I'll tell you that. I don't think it's Moopsie either, Sonny, that's what it is.

Closer to MOOPSI yeah, the moops, the loops. It was in the moops Hey, moop what I'm looking forward to it as always. Yeah, well, apparently I don't think that James Gregory was in a in any of the Planet of the Apes TV series. He was just in the movie. So m yeah, general ursus.

Yeah, I haven't seen those movies in a very long time. They hold up at least the first and fourth. Do which one is going to Baby Milo too? I want to say he gets born at the end of three. I just like that name.

Oh yeah, baby Milo. It's like why yeah, why, Well until we talk again next month. Chris, all about Barney Miller. Where can people find you? C Stashue dot com is my link tree.

Cstacchiw dot com. That's my link tree. Go there for all the things that I work on Culture Cast it's a movie podcasts Gary Stories. We tell it's not a movie podcast, it's like a weird paranormal true crime. And then we mentioned it already a couple of times, but it bears repeating Ranking on Bass where we talk about ranking on Bass stuff both the Christmas, the live action and everything in between.

And we do talk about James Gregory on an episode where we talk about the Flight of the Dragons where James Gregory voices a dragon. So if that's something that sounds interesting to you, go check that episode up. Yeah. Yeah. We even get to talk about him in Colombo as well, and we'll talk about him another time.

And when we talk about the most Crucial game, I think it's called right, I forgot that he's in that Columbo episode. Yeah, very kind of like not in it enough, yeah to save the episode. Yeah yeah, but he's in it, and he's kind of playing a dick so yeah, I kind of playing a dickhead, like the dickhead version of Luger that we first kind of run into in this show. What about You Mic? Where can people find you?

You can always find me over at the Projection Booth, which is available at Projection boothpodcast dot com and that's where I've got all my links to all the shows and all that kind of stuff as well. So before we head out, I want to thank John Walker for our theme song. I want to thank and Maggie Dond for our cover art, and I want to thank you for listening to this show. Continue to listen, please and rate and review the show wherever you find it. We would appreciate it.

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