Episode 51: Possession + Stress Analyzer + Games

Welcome to the Life and Times of Captain Barney Miller podcast. I'm your host Mike White. Joining me, of course, is the rookie Chris Stashue. I'm just here doing my bit. I'm just here doing my bit.

On this episode, we were talking about three episodes of the original show Barney Miller, The original Barney Miller. Yeah, it was the show. Stuart Townsend as Barney Miller with like a big mustache. Yeah, Oh my god, why Stuart? Why Stuart?

Because of cold check of cold check. Yeah, I'm here. This is a very special appearance as Yeah. Yeah on glasses, Harris returns. Yep.

Yeah, it's just him Carrie carrying a copy of Blood on the badge. On this episode, we were talking about three of the original Barney Miller's We're talking about Possession, which came out November nineteenth, nineteen eighty one, Stress Analyzer, which came out November twenty sixth, nineteen eighty one, and Games, which came out December tenth, nineteen eighty one. Three episodes from kind of the beginning of season eight. We've got two Bruce Bilson's, a Gennaro Month and Nino and some familiar writers here I don't know if I remember net Maudlin that well, but I definitely remember Tom Reader enrolling Kibby, who wrote Possession, which was a return of mister kopekne all the way back from the Werewolf episode and what kind of feels like a repeat of the Werewolf episode.

How about you, Chris, what did you think of these episodes? Ah? I mean it's never a bad thing to see Kenneth Tiger, let's put it that way. No, I just saw him in The Avengers again the other. Day, kneel before me.

Okay, what a random thing known for his roles in the Avengers, right, yeah, all right, fucking I mean it is said it is. That is his one role on IMBB is German, old man. I believe in the Avengers. I thought this was a fine episode. I think to your point, it is a little uh, we've already seen this like once.

I thought it was twice. We've seen this. It feels like we saw him twice. They definitely refer back to the Werewolf episode, but I specifically, yeah, I thought he was on there a few times. Yeah.

I like the I like the warrens of it all. I like that they referenced the devil made me do it case and then they say the devil made me do it. I'm sorry, I just rewatched that movie again, that third Conjuring movie, which is like in pretty bad taste. That movie is oh is it? Yeah, that's the one where it's about the case that they're talking about in this in this episode, and it's it's in pretty bad taste because the name of the movie is The Conjuring The devil made me do it, And it's like, no alcohol made you do it, I'm pretty sure, is what the like overwhelming theory is.

There was there was no devil here. And it's funny to hear this episode of Barry Miller from like the mid eighties bringing it up. Well, this case in Connecticut that just happened. It's like, okay, like this is kind of this episode is being driven by other things, is kind of what I'm alluding to. It's being driven by I would say real time or not real time, but like real life events and also the success of The Exorcist.

Ripped from the headlines. Yeah, I mean it's only you know, like nine years after the Exorcist or something, or maybe more than that, I can't remember. Was exos to seventy three. I always think that. It sounds about it.

It's like the early seventies. Yeah, yeah, your mother sucks. Cox and El Harris like yeah, there's that's not there's none of that here, but there is like this, Okay, let's talk about this. This is the first time where I'm like, okay, the show has jumped to the shark in my opinion, right, Like, everything up unto this point has kind of been like paranoids with proof, but still a little twinge of like it might not necessarily be happening here. It's like, yo, this guy's possessed by the devil.

Like clearly, it's not even a question, right, Like it's not even up for debate. In this episode, Kopecne is possessed by the devil. Correct, It really feels like it, especially with the growling stuff that's going on. I mean, everything else I think you could explain away. I was really hoping for more between him and the Priest cop though.

I was so excited to see this actor back, and I was just like, oh, this is great. I'm so glad. I really like Alan Miller. He's been on the show before, He's been on a lot of things that we've talked about before, and I'm just like, yeah, this is gonna be great. He's barely there.

I really was hoping he would have some sort of crisis of faith or something and kind of like a father Damien kiras well. That's and and that's that was kind of the other thing. While it is, you know, very much inspired by the Exorcist, it's a very poor fac simile of something else, Like this is not a this I'm not I am not as enamored with this this version of the story as the way the show is telling it. I think the last time Kenneth Tiger was on the show is way better. Oh, I totally agree.

I think the other stories and here really save this episode. The whole thing with Harris buying the painting by a cat, right, and yeah, that's hoping that this guy's going to die so the price will go up for it. I'm like, yeah, that's a that's a real Harris move. And then of course the guy's going to live a lot longer, so again another very harass. Move, typical Harris, I appreciate.

And then it's nice to see Ron Carry coming back in here with the all the injuries that he sustained in the last episode that we talked about, which was where he saves that kid from the building, and we hear all about it, but we don't see any of the damage. Right now, we get to see a little bit of that with the the neck brace and the arm and the slaying. You know, just do my part, Fellas. I'm just here, Barney. Yeah, I love, I love.

I love that we have a little bit of carry through, which is nice. I mean, we haven't seen that a lot in the show with every with any other character other than Ron Harris really with and then Yeah, I you know, I'm glad. I'm glad that they're like, hey, Kopecne's back, But I don't I just don't see the point. I guess it's kind of ultimately because it does feel. This does feel kind of like we've done we've seen this before, like we've done this before.

And I'm I guess I'm a little surprised because while the show does go to certain wells over and over again, it rarely goes to the exact same well with the exact same actor. Even Yeah, I mean we've talked I want to see in like season six or maybe seven, We're just like, yeah, this is kind of a repeat of stuff we've seen before, so yeah, is it a little like all right, yeah, just because it is interesting though as far as the Kopecni thing too, where it's just like, oh, yeah, I got cured when I went to Bellevue and now I'm back and you want to throw me at Bellevue again. And it's like, is this going to be a never ending cycle of them just continually throwing this man into, you know, the psych hospital And you know, my mom used to work at a psych hospital and she would call these patients they're frequent flyers.

So is he just going to continue to be a frequent flyer and go into the psych hospital and I don't know, I don't want to say get tortured, but just like be treated and then get out and then have another problem happen to him another you know, is he going to start seeing ghosts next? Or will he think he's a vampire next? I mean, is he going to continue on and maybe think of you know, other monsters that he can be. But yeah, I feel bad for the guy, and I wish that there's a little bit more poignancy around the system and just how he keeps going into the CIS and it's the system is not helping him. Yeah, it seems a little tone deaf for this show to not talk a little bit about that.

Of all the shows like that we've seen or watched this show, it's kind of surprising that it doesn't have a little bit more to say or something to say at all. Maybe like it's just kind of like hangs a lantern on it and it's funny. Ha ha, that's it, right, It's just funny, which is fine. I mean, I'm not complaining. You're you're allowed to make jokes for the sake of making jokes, but I don't know to what end.

Well, it kind of also takes away a little bit from some of the other stories, Like I found that the woman who had worn the designer jeans. I thought that story had a lot of legs too, or potential for legs, and unfortunately it didn't. This whole thing of how the husband is still obsessed with the ex wife and then ends up getting her this woman in the designer jeans gets her the mug that has the ex wife's name on it or ex girlfriend like Okay, well again, that could have been good, but it feels like they just kind of wrap it up too quickly. Well, and I'm honestly that the god the thing with the genes is just I don't know, it's kind of an eye roll for me, Like I was like, oh, really, like it's like a woman who's I don't know, I don't know.

It felt very Stuart Pankin adjacent from what we've seen in this show. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, it's not that it's not funny. It's just like this feels like this doesn't feel like the well that this show goes to very often.

I feel like this show has better writing and does better things in terms of the kinds of comedy that it's mining. And this particular bit of like, oh, it's a woman whose husband is essentially forcing her to wear jeans that she can't fit into because he's obsessed with his ex wife. Like we've kind of seen this every other variation before. I don't need to see this again. I'm surprised there was no love triangle triangle part of this too.

Oh wait, that's the next episode. Well, speaking of the next episode, I think it's the next episode where we get the return of Captain Luger or sorry, Lieutenant Luger. Wait when does see. Luger, Daddy Luger to a lot of us. Yeah, Inspector Frank Luger.

There we go, Inspector Luger coming in, and you're talking about carry through, and we have the carry through of the letters that Barney was writing to all of those Asian women seeking love in America. And he's done a very poor job according to the inspector. That he makes the inspector sound very boring. So he starts to rattle off all these things that Barney could be saying, and Barney's like, yeah, no, that's not you at all. And I kind of stand by my convictions, which was surprising him standing up to Frank.

Tell him that Ice Sky died. Bonnie, No, you dickhead, fucking ass. He's such a clown sometimes I love him, but Luger is such a clown sometimes. This episode also sees the return of the tallest man in the room, James Cromwell. My god, what a tall gentleman he is.

I'll drink of water, is what he is. Yeah, Daddy with that big old with that Briar's pet that he's got going on. Yeah, he's definitely lost a few hair since the last time we saw him. The last time we saw him. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say, Like it's been a minute since we've seen him, and he's definitely he's he's thinning a little bit more than he was the last time.

But he's great. I Yo, technology, everybody, We've got this thing where we can monitor their heart rate. My god, isn't technology grand? Like I guess Barney Miller fine, Like I don't know, it felt very Colombo where it's like technology is crazy, isn't it? Like I mean, we all know Dietrich's not dead, Come on show, like, what the what the fuck?

Really? Like, what the fuck? Actually, yeah, this is another mind that the vein that they could have mined some more too, because there's one part where Dietrich's wearing the monitor and his heart rates starts to go up and it's such a nothing thing that I can't even remember when it was. Was it like somebody stressing him out or something. I'm just okay, but I'm like, see this could have like Ron could have started talking about his book or about something, and then like Dietrich could like reacts, you know, like it looks all calm and cool on the outside, but then like his heart's racing or something's going on, or like a pretty woman comes into the office or something.

But it just they have the one half a joke and then the whole Oh his heart rate is is going crazy, and now it's offline. Oh what happened to Dietrich? Oh we don't know. Oh we sent these people out, but then they're coming back without him, and it's like, okay, yeah, this is just suspense for suspense sake. We know, like Chris says that Dietrich is not dead, so yeah, why are you doing this?

What is going on here? Nineteen eighty one was a hell of a time in television. Baby, Yes, I guess that's got to be. What I don't know, like, is that what it is? Like did anybody watching this episode go, oh my god, Dietrich might be dead, Like, yeah, very special episode.

Of They're gonna knock him off? Yeah, it's it's more shocking to me. And if I sit back and think about it for two seconds, which is what they should have done, it's shocking to me that they had it on Dietrich to begin with. Why wasn't it on Harris right right of. All the people.

Somebody, Yeah, Like, I don't understand, I really don't understand the choice in this episode of putting this heart rate monitor on the character in the gacing who's like the most calm for the most part, Like he's the weirdest one. I don't even understand what the point is. Frankly, the fact that they didn't be like, oh my god, he's got two heart beats. There's some weird ass shit, Like you've already essentially said that there was a demon possessing someone in this show. So and you've alluded to the fact that Arthur Dietrich is an alien.

Why not just you know, just you know, why not just lean on it a little bit, Arthur, Arthur Dietrich is an alien. You've made it clear. Why not lean on it? And Auto if you're listening, you're welcome. This was not in your book, but you should have put it in there.

Fan theories at the Bay, Well. Even if Dietrich had gone to Camp Man Do and learned how to control his heartbeat and can slow it down and like you know, oh yeah, this something fell on him and he was trapped underneath it and he was able to slow his heartbeat down a one time a minute or something. Give me something with this heart rate monitor being on the calmest guy in the precincts could have been funny and like you said, it could have been like, oh, his heart rate isn't even registering here and it's like down and lower, down to the wrong side or something that could have been a joke. But yeah, why are we writing the jokes for Bertie Miller this episode? I don't know.

I don't know why we're writing the jokes because these last two episodes have been pretty pretty poor in terms of comedy, like the lack of I think I just general knowledge of the previous situational comedy aspects of the show. Like it feels like the people that are writing this show this season and the last season have kind of never done their homework as to the show and what show they're writing for, because it feels like they're going back to the mind We've seen before plenty of times now, and it's like, why do I need to see this again again again again again again. Well, there's this whole story of Wanda and Brent Lemir played by Florence Hallop and then Phil leads the incomparable Phil Leads, who barely gets any lines in this episode.

He's just kind of standing around more than anything. And Florence Hallup, she's got that great voice. We've seen her in many, many things before, and she has this whole thing like, oh, my husband is being seduced by the woman across the hall and he doesn't even know who she is and the woman doesn't know who he is, so it's all just completely inside of her head, in Wanda's head, and again I'm just like, okay that, like, give me something, give me some sort of mistaken thing like oh, he helped her fix her TV or something, or he went over to the woman's apartment and was asking her for gift ideas for Wanda or something. But instead it's like big case of mistaken identity and not even mistaken identity, mistaken intentions.

And then the poor woman who is being attacked is like, I don't even know who these people are, Like, well, I guess that's funny for a second, but it's not very funny for very long. And it just goes on for too long. Man. The other story in this is the poor Peace Corps guy who attacked what was at the Xerox booth and tried to photo copy the guy's face. I was again, I'm just like, okay, well, yeah, it's gonna be hard for the Peace Corps.

There are a couple of good jokes in here. It's not very funny when his boss comes in and just denies even knowing who this person is. It's almost like the Wanda story, you know, like, oh, we don't know who these people are. But at least with this guy, he finally cops to it, but it can'tada now and amounts to nothing. Well, and that's that's kind of for me.

This this episode in a lot of ways didn't amount to much of anything, and that's it's too bad. I'm not I don't know, I'm not surprised. I mean, we we knew that this season was gonna be a little rough, but I mean a lot of the episodes the season have been pretty good, but this is, yeah, the ones that has just been yeah, not not great. James Murtaw, who looks like a lot of other actors, including in this episode, fake Charles Groden. I can see, like Charles Groden, if we had Charles Groden on like TMU, like Timu Charles Groden.

He's great. He's great though, I mean, I mean I like him as an actor. I like what they're having him do. But it's yeah, it's again like we've heard a million times, like we've just seen this thing, We've seen this kind of character. It's it's I mean, look, we're in the last season of the show, so it's kind of running a little thin as it is, But like, that's not really it.

It's just they could have had creative ideas. We were literally pitching ways to navigate this episode being more creative, and they just didn't do it. They just well, we'll just do that same thing we've done four times before one more time. Like all right, fine in technology grand Xerox machines, Like all right, you. Want to talk about doing things that you've done before, let's talk about games where Wojo gets to interact with a hooker.

Wow, that's the first time I've seen that in a couple episodes. Yeah, who'd have thunk it? What a what a crazy conniption that we're about that, Like, it's I think what's surprising for me is that the show at this point is thinking we should be surprised that this is where they're going and I'm not, don't I don't understand? Like, yeah, well a woman, a woman of ill repuke came up to Wojo again like what we're doing this in season eight? Still doing it?

Still doing it? Give this guy a girlfriend, you know, or. Don't or don't or give Barney a girlfriend. Apparently, my god, Barney Miller, everybody getting the women ready to rock and roll? What the hell was going on?

What was going on in this episode? What is happening with this female like military upper up, who all of a sudden is just like rubbing herself down and again like I'm not like upset about seeing a woman do it, It's just like, uh, what's the point. It kind of comes out of nowhere and Barney's just standing there going this is great and all, but like, I'm still married, aren't I right? Well yeah, he even makes a reference to being married to one of these three. Well it's not this one though, no, it might have been the last one.

He wants a little he wants a little side action that Barney does. Yeah, it was nice seeing Oh what's the actress name? Trinidad Silva who I'm mostly known as the guy who has fun with animals on UHF. Yeah, who apparently like unbeknownst to me, is uh like uh uh a little person is what it looks like. He's very tiny, but he walks in.

I was like, oh my god, the guy from UA Chef is like five foot one. Oh yeah, he's not even to Dietrich's shoulder. He's not even He's barely over Ron Glass's shoulder. If yeah, if that fun that tall? Yeah, it's pretty That was that was That was pretty crazy.

He's he's fun. I mean again, like I feel like we've seen this before. He's almost a Martinez from the very first episode of the show. Yeah, very similar hairstyle, very similar jacket. And then Martinez came back, i want to say, last season and was basically doing the same kind of thing, like yeah, I'm the little Latino stick up man.

I'm like, okay, great. This is interesting because it is diet Trick going on a crusade rather than Wojo going on a crusade, and Dietrich very much pulls a Wojo or he might not pull of Oojo, but he's definitely gets in a Wojo type situation where oh hey, this crime that this guy did shows that all of these microchips are being shipped over to whereas it to Russia, right, Russia poll and there we go, and then yeah again Wojo could have spoke to that pretty well, but oh, you know, hey, this is actually a trade violation or whatever. We think that these are going to go into the wrong hands. So Dietrich ends up getting uh, well, the guy that actually owns the corporation who knows nothing about this.

But then it gets a KGB an FBI guy down here as well, and then they all know, oh hey, yeah, we've known each other for years, and they're all buddy buddy, and I'm like, yeah, this seems pretty pretty right to me. It's very much just covert stuff happening in broad daylight, and yeah it's it felt also very very similar like it, and it wasn't nearly as poignan as something like the H and Orange episode. Yeah, no, I completely agree with you. I was played for laughs. That's why, Like, yeah, you know when they play it, when they play it for laughs, they play it for laughs.

By the way, if you look into the story of Trinidad Silva, it's kind of a sad one. He died during the filming of UHF. Really he was hit by a drunk driver. Oh oh no, Yeah, so he didn't even live to see the thing that he was known for come out right yeah, which is actually even crazier because his picture on IMBB is his picture from this episode of Barney Miller. That is wild.

Yeah, but uh yeah, I guess yeah. It just it doesn't It hasn't really struck me up until this point that the show is really it feels like it's having a hard time recycling its own material at this point. But it does kind of feel like it right a little bit more so than it has in the past. Yeah. I mean the last time that we got together and talked about the show, I think we were like, oh, yeah, these are really good episodes.

But this time around, it's like, okay, have we seen almost all this stuff before? Guys? Yeah, yeah, and again to have It's what's even weirder is again to go back all the way to that first episode, to have Kopecni being the thing that's the first thing we see, and then the final episode we have again this like two warring factions of people ultimately shaking hands and moving on at the end of the day. It's like, how many times have we seen this this point, like every other episode of the show is what it feels like, almost like I don't know, it's so frequent at this point that this this just feels like one of the old hats that they go to. Really, Yeah, it's kind of sad.

I'm hoping that when we get together next month and talk about more of these that we get back on a better path with this. Well, we only have what four or five episodes left, so these I hope that these are the weakest episodes of the season because I would not be surprised when we get to the end to learn that that is the case. So yeah, when we come back next month, we're going to be talking about homeless the huntine. What the hell's a tantine? A tontine is a thing where you, like, you put in money into a pot and then the last person to be alive at the end of it gets it.

Oh so, so like a hundred people. Put in ten dollars and then whichever of the last of the one hundred people is left at the end gets the full pot. Oh is it like a shade letter kind. Of but people actually have to die? Oh okay, Yeah, this is like like say, like like, yeah, like you take five thousand dollars, I take five thousand dollars.

We put it in an account. Whichever one of us is alive after the other one dies gets the money. It's kind of but like you do it on like a bigger, grander scale, so it's like, you know, a couple thousand people each put in like ten bucks. So it's a lot of money. But what a weird concept to be in a Barney Miller episode.

Huh. Yeah, that sounds like more along the lines of Tales from the Dark Side or Calory. I mean, I'm excited because it's something that that we haven't seen in the show at least. So at least there's that, at least it's not two shop owners fighting. You're right exactly.

So we'll talk about Homeless, the Tantine and some one called Examination Day, and that is going to take us into nineteen eighty I before we start diving into some two parts and the big three parter that ends up everything. So yeah, I think we've got four or five episodes of this show to go, a lot more of Barney Miller to go before we move on to hopefully Night Court. So but it's gonna be sad saying goodbye to Barnie. I can tell you that even with some of these episodes that are a little you know, it's that old line. I'd rather watch Bart bad Bernie Miller than good.

I don't know Big Bang Theory. There's yeah, boy would I'd rather watch bad most things than could Big Bang Theory, let alone bad Big Bang Theory. I don't know. I know who would win in a Big Bang Theory versus Fish competition. Though, I'd rather watch Big Bang Theory.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Fish just wasn't funny. At least Big Bang Theory is just like annoying. Yeah, hold on, hold on, I got I got one for you. Fuck mayor kill Big Bang Theory, Two and a half Men or Fish.

Oh wow, see I've actually watched a few episodes of Big Bank of two and a half Men, So I think I would marry two and a half Men. I would kill Fish and Big bankause at least you got Mayam Biallak and that other lady on there, and even you know, even Sheldon. I'll take him, oh Jim Parson's make him squeal like a pig. Wow. Uh yeah, I think I think my answer would be killfish.

Mary, the Big Bank Theory and Buck two and a half Men, but only if it's the Ashton Cutcher version. Oh wow, not a big fan. Well, I guess you don't know what you're gonna get if. You, Charlie, I think you know what you're gonna get. Tiger blood.

Yeah we're calling it Jesus. Yeah, So so for a for a mix up, Mike, when you're not when you're not shooting your blood directly into your veins, where can people find you and the things that you work on? You can also find everything else that I do over at Weirdingwaymedia dot com, which is the same place where we probably found this. If you're listening to this episode, please go out and rate and review us. I would appreciate it.

And Chris, what are you up to these days? Everything that I'm up to can be found at Weirdingwaymedia dot com, where this show and so many other shows can be found. But yeah, this is the big place to find all the stuff I work on as Weirdingway Media, So this show and all the other stuff other than our respective patreons. Where you can find ranking on Bond which comes out once a month, and that's when we talk about James Bond with our friend Richard Adam of Richard Adams Paranormal Bookshelf, who might even be listening to this episode. So hello Richard.

And you know what would be nice if Richard took on that whole the warrants thing. I'm sure there's some books written about the Lawrence, a good talk about those on the Richard Adams Paranormal Bookshelf. We're just giving him ideas right here, right now, all over for head of that sweet sweet money. Oh yeah, and you know how much podcasters make lots of money? Yeah, when people ask me how much money I make, Yeah, you have no idea how much I have to lie to them to tell them how little we make shocking.

You're like, well, you know, Joe Rogan almost. That much, almost, just like a couple dollars less, just a few, just a few. Well, before we head out, I want to thank John Walker for our theme song, and I definitely want to thank everybody for listening. Thank you again, and like I said, please rate and review the show. We would greatly appreciate it.