Santa Carla

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Weird Welcome to Dark Destinations, an ongoing investigation into the shadowy corners of the Globe, where our haunted past meets our startling future. Episode six. Santa Carlo m oh Yeah, spinner of Yarns, spinner of wax, Spin that dial to me, sit back, and relax. You're listening to Johnny Corkscrew here on k n LD, but they're not are they? Guess they need a new intro hunt, Terry?

Ay, are you waving me off? You can talk? You know how about this? You're listening to k n LD with a robot revolution has begun. Bow down to your pre programmed, marketing tested overlords.

Are you looking for a DJ to guide you musically and directions you didn't even know you wanted? Tough titty From now on, you swallow what corporate rock has decided you need to consume, right, Terry, they leave me out of it. Sorry, man, I just don't know what the hell they're thinking. Either fire me or let me out of my contract. I can go find a station that needs on air talent, I mean a field piece.

I'm not a reporter, you know. I only have a journalism degree because there wasn't a play records get famous and do blow off a hot chick's course at sc What about you, Terry? You consider yourself a journalist? Stop? I'm not on our talent joone quite Frankly, I'm excited to be out of the engineering.

How's the sound? Is it? Okay? Considering we're flying up pch with a microphone clip to my visor. Everything sounds good when I recorded, and it sounded better if he stopped bitching and actually do the assignment.

You know you were right. No one wants to hear from you. You know I'm your producer, right, Starry, Please, talent is talking now, Santa Carla Field piece, take one. Listen up. It is September the fifteenth, nineteen seventy nine.

I'm Johnny Corkscrew. You're a newly minted or oving reporter. I'm driving the next seven hours up the Pacific Coast Highway. It is a little after two am, so no traffic, just moonlight on dampled ocean to my left, canyon bluffs looming up to the right, and a ceaseless ribbon of twisting, curving flattop ahead. And at its end, I'm going to be telling you about a joyful spot that's soon to be a memory.

Good to know I'm not the only thing being left behind in the name of progress. Now I'm going to be tuning my radio over to KDVL because they've always played better music than us. Johnny, you can just cut that last part out, mister producer. Join us and celebrating the coming day all season at all. When you think back to childhood, it's usually the happy memories that spring to mind, a mental and emotional kind of editing worthy of the reader's digest birthday parties, endless summer days, first love.

But if you were lucky enough to grow up near an amusement park, I'm gonna guess that those are the images you see when you close your eyes, prowling their grounds, hot dogs and cotton candy, games of chance, and the rides thrilling, dizzying and at times genuinely frightful. Now, these parks come in all shapes and sizes, water parks, historical parks, theme parks, and they're each incredible in their own ways. There's something special about a boardwalk. I mean, there's a reason it's the top dog and monopoly, a terrific blend of all the man made fun you can handle and all the genuine splendor that nature has to offer. The Eastern Seaboard has scores up them up and down the coast, dating back to the mid nineteenth century.

In some places. Here in California, we've only got a handful venice playland up in Frisco and the one I'm standing on right now. The Santa Carlo Boardwalk has been in operation since nineteen oh six. Kind of a bummer of a year. What would the earthquake up in San Francisco that shook so hard here?

It knocked down nearly every chimney in town and demolished a courthouse and the opulent summer destination for the rich, the Atlantis Hotel over on Hudson's Bluff. The courthouse is recovered, the Atlantis swallowed up by the rocky coastline not so much. But aside of some cosmetic damage, the boardwalk persisted, not only survived, but thrived, and for the next sixty years it would delight generations of Californians seeking solace from the summer heat and distraction from tumultuous reality. But like everything in these dwindling days of the twentieth century, everywhere, the demand for such novelty is fires as surely as the sun will dip and fade behind the ocean that fronts the boardwalk, dragging down night Perhaps forever had to blast of wind there at the end.

Yeah, and some lunatic was yelling about vampires. Sound good otherwise, surprisingly good. You think I might have a future in radio? Don't hand sign me? Terry?

Where do you want me to start? From? The earthquake radio men from Mars? That's us? How are you all?

The timer? Old Martians are rude, honesty above feeling. That's the Martian code of Grahamson piss and we should interview him. No, yeah, you should interview me. I think we've got enough interviews for the day.

Sorry, man, you understand I want knocked Mickey Rooney flat on his ass right over there. Of course we still have a bit of tape, right Terry? Okay? Boardwalk Interview September fifteenth, nineteen seventy nine. Johnny Corkscrew and what's your name?

Most people around town just call me Pops. Groovy Pop's Interview, Take one. So are you a Santa Carlo resident? Born and raised, lived my whole life here, raised up a family in my own here too. I'm assuming you came to the Boardwalk a lot, did lots of good memories of the place.

So are you signed to hear that this might be the last season? Not at all glad to see it go? What about all those memories? Still got them? And I prefer to keep them unsullied, which is a mighty chore these days.

There's a bad element taking root here and nobody gives a damn. Those hippie kids are terrible. Are you ridiculing me? Son? I don't want to have any issue with them flower kids.

My own daughter was one of them. Hippie kids won't beat you up and leave you half dead just for the fun of it. Is that what makee Verney did to you? That was off the boardwalk years ago over at the Amphitheater. And no, he never laid a hand on me.

He was gruffed to my girl, and I laid him out flat. That's the whole story. And if you're gonna be flipped, I guess I don't have much else to say to you. That was flipped. I apologize.

So no other matinee idols taking up residence and are causing trouble here in the boardwalk, dick powelas and chaking down kids behind the tilted world. I swear I saw George rafffull a switchblade on a tourist from fres Now. To hell with you. You'll be laughing out of the other side of your face when you realize just how close. You are already good luck with your radio piece, Martian.

Make sure you hang around till sundown, won't you? Only if you'll be here, I'll be safe at home. Laughing at you hang around here, I'm a fool, clearly I am. Wow. Let's interview.

Yeah, what a great suggestion. Keep them commentary. Okay, how about you behave like a professional? It all makes sense now, management taking you off the air? Was that an insult?

It's as stupid as your instincts. If they had a problem with me interacting with others, why on God's green earth would they pull me out of a solitary situation and send me out in the field are to talk to people. This is going to sound like I'm goofing on you, but I assure you I am not. You are going to go very far in this industry. Could be they sent you away because you're dragged to have around.

It's another deep observation. Thanks, What time is it looking at three seventeen? No, it is not. Surveys at time. I'm not falling for that again, surveys at time.

We're in Santa Carla. Do you have any idea per capita how many burned out hippies and druggies there are in this town. Throw a rock and you'll hit one. If anything, it's philocybin time here in Santa Carla. That would be an excellent piece, You and me tripping so hard we leave our bodies as they're hurtling around on the roller coaster.

Absolutely not, Well, a beer doesn't sound quite so awful, now, does it? Come on? I saw a bar over near the merry around. Ah, you'll see, it'll all just disappear. I don't view the world as apocalyptically as you.

That's because you're like ten years old. Life is a never ending adventure for you. You've never once even contemplated riding off into the sunset because you're too busy galloping away from the sunrise. No tomorrow Land, that's where you live. But I'm here to tell you everything fades, especially if it's cool.

When I was a kid, do a beatnix Man, shadowy, mysterious, speaking a new language. Where'd they go? Bulldozed over? Like all the other big city beautiful bits of architecture, And what do we replace? Urban dreadway, suburban outrage, hippies, terry by the thousands, dirty and aimless, but you know what, still cool, still fun.

Since then, it's been a cultural free for all. But now in just a few months, this whole cool crazy decade ends, and I guarantee you cool is going down with it. Believe me, Everything dies and resurrection is a fairy tale. Pardon me if we're botching it. But that's a very glib attitude to my friend Glib.

That's me. I'm buried glib. Perhaps you're familiar with the musical stylings of my group, the Bleegs. You'll have to excuse him. He's drunk, drunk, we're drinking beer.

It's like having sex and a dinging fucking close to water. That's funny. You should be on the radio. There's a thought. I'm Johnny.

The feet is paying the tab is terry? You want something nice to meet? You can, No, I'm not. It's a work expenditure. We're working.

I'm working. It's nearly dusk. I'm gonna have a look around out there. How about this be the last round? And there he went, running hard, trying to beat the sunrise.

And you are Erneto Guancho proford ooh a prof At the risk of offending Rannesto, I shouldn't confess I was never won much for academia. Oh that's astonishing. Oh he's a sharp prof You must be a magnet for all the co eds. I'm sure it would be if I ever saw the insight of a classroom. Deadly boring stuff.

Teaching analysis has its merit, but it's limited. I've river to work in the field. A field you teach soccer or something. Lacrosse coach. I travel the country seeking out that which never dies, myth and legend.

How does that pay well enough to retain an assistant? That's him over there, looking kid? Kind of square he is, But I can afford him full time because I have grants from half a dozen universities here and abroad. So you and Dave, You and Dave just tool around and talk to the locals about like the Permuter triangle and the Locknets monster. If we were in Scotland or ben Mulla, we would.

My focus is more purely on American folklore, even if it is derived in other countries. We are currently researching the Windigo. It's a Native American hunger demon. That sounds incredibly boring. I'm just goofing.

Sounds cool, Johnny, You should get out here, his master's voice. Be right there. I'm sure this is going to be spectacular. You and Dave card to join us. Professor there might be here, of course, tell me you didn't just want to watch the sunset together?

What look over there? All I see is ocean. I think he means they're standing over on the bluff. Exactly who are you, Terry Dave? Dave?

Terry Dave works with the Professor here? Well, Dave's right, look over on that bluff. See them. There's half a dozen people all in black with big black hats. How can you miss them?

I see them? So what? Maybe Alice Cooper is playing this weekend? Actually I think the Doobie Brothers are playing. Okay, so it's a bunch of depressed Doobie Brothers fans.

Maybe the Living Theater opened up a West Coast branch. What do I care? Because I was looking directly at that spot. One second it was empty, and the next day were there like they just appeared? Was it as soon as the sun jeeped below the horizon?

Yeah? Those Villantes oscuros? So what dark watchers never heard of them? A supernatural phenomenon unique to the West Coast spectral figures who stand silent witness. They've been seen for centuries, first by the Chumas tribe, then Spanish settlers.

I'm looking at ghosts. Possibly, no one knows for sure. My point is, do you think those Halloween freaks are real or not real? Sunbeck wrote about them. Legend has it they appear at times a great turmoid.

If I had to guess, something very bad is about to occur in Santa Goda, You guys are too much. That's a bunch of frant brothers who want to freak out the tourists. Whoa wa, did you see that? Where the hell did they go? Are they supposed to do that?

Professor Oscuros, my friend, dark times are coming. Are you seriously not going to talk about what we just saw? I'm not not talking about it, and no, I'm not talking about not good to keep frightening feelings all corked up inside? Is this my friend Terry talking or is it producer Terry. I didn't think we were friends, and I don't think you're considering how cool those dark Watchers could be for the piece, Producer Terry.

And we're not give me the money we're recording yep and three two. Hey, gang, Johnny Corkscrew will go to any lengths to bring his loyal listeners to where the action is at. Right now, I am seated comfortably aboard the Jewel in the Santa Carla boardwalk crowd. The gold Rush. It's a roller coaster that opened way back in nineteen twenty four and hasn't lost a bit of its luster.

That clanking and rattling you. Here is me being towed up the lift hill headed for the first big drop, Which is as good a time as any to discuss death. Yeah, that's right. With this beautiful monument to terror facing its imminent demise, let's talk about the times it helped its riders into the great beyond. First one was opening day, It was the last ride of the night.

In more ways than one, some clown decided to stand up at the moment the cars went back under the superstructure, sending his head down onto the unsuspecting crowd below. That's a way better prize than a stumped animal from the ring toss game. Since then, twenty seven others have met their maker on this beauty. They say it's perfectly safe now, though we'll see I am truly sorry about your shoes and your pants. Oh man, I got your shirt too.

Stop talking about it. As long as the equipment is vomit free, we want to pack it in maybe start fresh tomorrow, of course I do. But we haven't gotten one clip if anyone who works here yet, it's just you yammering on about ancient history. I'm sensing you're absent, so let's go get some recording done. How about the merry go round operator.

You know what's called a carousel terry? My parents were carnies. I know what the goddamn spinning horse ride is called. That explains a lot. But no, they've got that music blaring NonStop.

The interview would be useless till tow all same problem as it is. I doubt any of the roller coaster stuff is going to be salvageable games it is interview me. No, I don't think kind of allowed to talk to anyone. Sorry, good luck, I've never been on the radio. Great, you'll do it.

I don't think that's a good idea. Come on, why not? I don't think anyone else is going to think so either. It's closing time for games. You might want to get off the boardwalk.

Does that mean everything is closing? Some of the rides stay openly, but I gotta go one. It's nicely Okay. I'm done with crazy old men and ghosts and everything else for today. I will soldier on in your absence.

Seriously, I'm gonna keep going the report. How are you going to puke on? Not a drug? Trust me. I think you're right about the dark Watchers angle maybe some other locals from seeing them.

There you go. See, I'm not just an engineer. I have good producing ideas. That being said, please don't record near the carousel. All the tape will be worthless.

Gotcha, carousel is off limits. A gang Johnny Corkus grew again. I survived the Gold Russian Mountain, taking it a bit slower here at the Santa Carla Carousel. Odd that the rane most associated with the children is the one that closes last on the board walk. But here we are.

The Ryan operator is as uncooperative as all the games people. So I'm going to try and talk to some of my fellow equestrian enthusiasts. There's way more people here than you'd expect. Just the same, I think I'm gonna skip talking to the group of punkers in the corner two scary. There are a couple of biker mamas on horse back currently, but I got to look at their old men when I came in here, and I like my face arranged the way it is currently.

If that leaves the dreaded task of talking to that pretty young lady who's chosen to ride the stationary stallion side sat him if I can get her attention, excuse me? I mind if I join you? The field's wide open. Anybody's race mount take a horse, take one. I can't not much of a strap hanger.

What it's what you're not? So? Are you a local? You've raved cross seat a field of galloping horses to ask me that I wanted to know if I could interview you, that explains how you're half machine. You're a recorder, so you're press.

How exciting I'm taking that? Is it? Yes? You want to know something strange? I despise human interaction.

This carousel is as close as I usually get to human beings. Something about to night, that's a yes? Do you mind? If we do it outside the music way too loud? The table will be unlistenable.

It's not going to make a difference. But I'm bored with this ride. Follow me right on? Whoa girl? WHOA?

How far are we going? So you're a reporter, huh the unwilling kind. From the look of you, I'll guess it's not television. No, I got a face made for radio. I adore wireless.

Do you work for KAB It's all I listened to. They start broadcasting at sunset. Now I'm based out of La. I'm a disc jockey. Horses discs, no endo your jockey abilities, Yeah, but I'm a failure at both well not veil just replaced my station's automating.

Who needs that human touch when a robot jock can play everything they want you to buy? And now they have you gad flying about pestering the masses. Yeah, with a nostalgia piece Death of the Boardwalk at the fun to Drag. Not being in the studio, but I'm warming up a little bit. It allows me to talk to some interesting and beautiful people.

Flatterer, you know, you're both And as my grandfather used to say, most modesty is the same as pride. Johnny Corkscrew Santa Carla Interview. What's your name, Lily? Santa Carla interview, Lily, So, what's your story? How much tape do you have?

Miles? Not nearly enough? Santa Carla is a weird town, Lily, but you have to be the weirdest inhabitant. I know, I am, But why do you say that? You look like you're twenty one tops, But the way you talk reminds me of my grandma.

I keep expecting you to start belting out a big band tune that was a fine era hopeful. See everything that comes out of your mouth. That generation are children to me? God, you just don't stop. I like it, I mean commit So you never answered me back?

There? Are you a Santa Carlo resident? I've spent every summer here in Santa Carlo for seventy three years. Now, before that, a few decades in a town called Slaughter Beyond that was the geometric beauty of Chicago for nearly half a century. I knew it.

You're on acid. I've heard they still have a supply of owlsley and liquid form up here. How many drops did you swallow? And more importantly, do you have any more? I cannot die, Johnny, Uh huh, You're immortal, gotcha, and you're just now choosing to reveal yourself to the world.

Now, answer a question for me. Is this your calling radio? Yeah, this tonight. You're on a beach interviewing me. This is what you're meant for.

No. I ought to be spinning fat stacks of wax and drinking top shelf Margarita's with rock stars. But you've been forced from that path before you'd even reached your destination. That breaks my heart. I have seen and done, and felt and experienced every facet of this life that even vaguely interested me, and with all the time to ponder, I've learned a valuable truth.

There's never enough time, never enough life that is perfect. That's going to cut into the story Like Gangbusters, I guess you'd say, Boy, this story just keeps on changing. At first, I thought it was going to be some heartwarm and hanky fest, you know, sounds of rides and cotton candy. And then Terry had this crankpot notion that we should focus on the Dark Watchers, which is a dead end. But now I'm thinking this could be deep, like Award Dark Watchers.

Yeah, it's dumb. We saw a bunch of freaks out on the bluff earlier. Black cloaks, wide rim hats, staring silently. Yeah, some professor told us about them. I'm sure you've seen them.

Do you have any idea who those jokers are? Alien? What? What the where were you hiding? Yes, princess, princess?

Where are the others? I haven't a clue where pork is. But Yadweka and Dante had an altercation with our new friends. They're back at the Atlantis, the old hotel. What I do my research?

Have you chosen a new familiar? Maybe ignore him? The Atlantis is compromised. I would strongly urge once again that we vacate for something safer. We have bigger problems than annihilation.

Last v Atlantis Oscaros here. We're too far south this very afternoon here. I'll see you around, Johnny, but if you're smart, you'll leave immediately. What you're going? Wait?

What? Why did he call you? Princess? Let me pull him apart? Slow down, big man, for now, Johnny Keith vigilant.

There's more than the end of fun at play here in Santa Carlo. You're sure you don't want me to follow you. I would enjoy watching you try. What the hell is happening? Is everyone here tripping on hallucinogens, including me.

Okay, I'll see you around. I'll be at the bar. Santa Carla man Rakis said, call you a capras. Smells like it's gonna rain. Nah, it's walkable.

Thanks for putting up with me past last call me. Let me give you a ride. Not necessary bar. Keep as to yourself. Just walk fast, okay.

If anyone says anything you had Norman, keep walking, gotcha? No chit chat, just pitter pat good man. I don't know about that. Oh, come on, don't rain bad enough. Everything east of the boardwalk is uphill.

Now let's make it all slick. Hello, anyone there, We need to get jumpy. Just a few more blocks. Hello, glad you're having fun? Punk Joe, I'm a priest to see you know, wouldn't hurt a man of the cloth, now, would you?

Was your color priest back at the hotel. I'm just gonna run along and grab it or not, I don't need it needs. Everyone's so obsessed with their needs. Take heart and knowledge that soon you'll never want for anything ever again. Your eyes?

The hell are you? Oh Lily, Lily, she must be one of you, you know her? Lily and uh Callian, they're they're friends of mine, No, friends of mine. You don't have to do this. You're right, I need to go back night creature.

He's no priest, Mattiah. You don't what to use that. Look at the cross, see your holiness Drasa back, Johnny, get behind me, oh man, little cross? Why are close now? Priest?

But I can hear you and I'll find you, you and your useless cross, and I get my hands on you. You slow, Yes, follow my voice, Santa Maria, what do you? Marta Dominostrin hold Apronobi's bacta torribuson and it's a most vampires. Yes? What did he do to him?

He was covered in rainwater? I blessed it? Are we safe? Moment? Jeremy good, I'm I'm gonna pass out.

This episode of Dark Destinations was written and produced by Father Malone and featured performances by Antonio Lapour, Harris Porter, Dakota Sky, Matt Shaffrey Rudden, Chris Stashie, Andrew Bedio. Music by HP Music. Until next time, May all your journeys lead to Dark Destinations