Father Malone's Weekly Roundup - Deadpool & Wolverine, The Amityville Horror (2005), The Fountain

Greetings midnight viewers, and welcome to Father Malone's Weekly round Up. I am Father Malone, but you're not here from me. You're here from my delicate and delightful co host, missus Ripley. Jean say Hello Ripley. That was Hello Ripley.

She said Hello Ripley because she thinks she invented that joke. Okay, tell me a new one. How did the podcast host waste everyone's time? Okay, good night? In our never ending question, remain irrelevant and garner some of that sweet sweet MCU fallout audience, We're going to start with a brand new, bald faced appeal to new listeners with something currently in theaters.

That's right. Tonight's episode is a Wolverine in Deadpool extravaganza, not necessarily in that order, well kind of. That's right. Too much Testoster or too much men in general. But we are still going to be doing three topics, three separate things, but they're all tied in because they're all Deadpool and Wolverine related.

Shall we embark copulatingly? That's a let's fucking go joke? Anyway, I do, I turn everything into a joke, but I care I want to use that for something important. I waited a long time. For this team up.

In my world, you're well regarded, you were an X Man. The fact that you were the X Man. The Wolverine. He's a hero in my world, you know. He and shouldn't mind.

This. God used to bag Man aware the suk, so did dorn A Beast. But I couldn't have him thinking I wanted to be there. You know, it's too late. It's only nine people.

My entire world is right here in his picture, and I have no idea how to save it alone. But you you know how to save it. Wherever you think I am. You got the wrong guy. You were always the wrong guy un till you weren't.

Are you ready? Fuck you, I'm ready. I'm the Wolverine. True. Stop it.

It took more than twenty years to get Hugh Jackman into the comic book accurate outfit. Was it worth the weight? You're fucking right it was. I'm gonna go light on spoilers, but I'm sure you've heard that this film is a cameo fest, and it is featuring a lot of Marvel characters who didn't survive the twentieth century merger. If they had even been alive up until that point.

Some of these cameos, by the way, are great, but the film is just an excuse to get the team up that comic book fans have been clamoring for and the one they deserve. Really, I'm sure you've heard that the plot is thin and there isn't much story to compensate. You heard correctly. Could all the film's failings be solved with an additional rewrite? Just one?

Oh? My yes? Is the film packed with too many characters and plot threads from other Marvel properties that will leave new viewers totally confused? Oh my god, yes, But none of that matters, because this is what a great series or a graphic novel should be. Also the argument that most viewers don't have enough background because they haven't seen every Marvel property, so they feel lost, Well, welcome to the world of comic books.

A bunch of fake, fucking nerds. These characters have been around for decades, They've met hundreds of other characters, They've been through hundreds of other adventures. Haven't read all the back issues. Tough shit, by the take it, take the ride. I had a blast with dead Pool and Wolverine.

I laugh more. At this film than any purported comedy I've seen in the past few years. But does it restore the MCU to its former glory. Hell No, nothing's gonna do that, especially not a move of total desperation like recasting Robert Downey Junr. As Doctor Doom.

I'm not maligning Downey's theespian abilities or anything. It's just that there is a perfect person to play that role. That actor's name, any other actor, but Robert Downey Jr. If you're gonna recast from within the MCU, how about you do right by Mad's Michelson. Anyway, Deadpool and Wolverine.

I don't think any encouragement or discouragement is going to change anyone's opinion about whether or not they're going to see this movie. Just the same, I do recommend it. It ends up being a much better version of Quantum Mania, not a perfect version. I doubt they're going to get there until they make a Midnight Suns movie, but it's a step in the right direction. Now, let's hope we don't have to wait another six years to see Deadpool again.

Go see Wolverine, Deadpool, Deadpool and Wolverine, whatever it's called. You know what it is. Did you not listen to anything? I just said, there's no way you would like this movie more if you had seen everything that came before it. No, that rewatch would last days.

Absolutely not. You're lucky I snuck you into the theater to see this. Oh yeah that. Speaking of that, Deadpool and Wolverine is only playing in theaters right now. It's not streaming, it's on nothing.

You actually have to go see it if you want to see it. There's gonna be a couple like that. And know this the show. The idea behind the show is to recommend stuff that's free, that you can get right now. But lately I seem to be recommending things you actually have to pay for.

But I wouldn't recommend them if they weren't worth it. Okay, now, Ripley Geane, what is your recommendation this week? What would you pair with Deadpool and Wolverine? Are you fucking kidding? Yes?

It has Ryan Reynolds. We just did this last week. It was a superior version. Yeah. Okay, Well, here's Ripley's pick.

Houses here away out of our price range, and when the business is good, we are. Going to happen for in this house. This is an amazing horse. You are going to love it. What's the deal of a lifetime?

That's what's the catch. There was a crime, a murder in the house, and several people at family. Plans and heard forces coming from within the house. Well, houses don't kill people to a perfect house into a perfect family. What are you talking to?

Thank you a little in my clientate and what's her name? Jildy. It's just seeing things. I guess. Did you come back to bed?

I can't sleep. It was a family lived here some time ago. They had a similar problem. I was living at their house. You need to get off here back and everything we have is in this house.

Mommy, chold, I had you but to me. Jesus, Oh my god, that's in sanctifying this house. Opened the door, George, there's something evil in my. House once again, the Amityville horror. This one is from two thousand and five, the early Aunts.

I don't know that you can pinpoint the exact moment, but it was definitely in this period that everything seemed to freeze in Hollywood, and we're still dealing with it to this day. IP is all that matters intellectual property, as long as we have a known property, something that has even the slightest name recognition, Why should we make anything original? In this case, the company was and continues to be. I guess if you're a fan of those Quiet Place movies you can thank them. But anyway, the company is Platinum Dunes, and the clairvoyant genius who decided that just grab a whole bunch of properties and remake them cheaply without any effort at all was Michael fucking Bay.

From two thousand and three until twenty ten, they released remakes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher, Friday the Thirteenth, and Nightmare on Elm Street, and those are all great. If I'm being honest, I actually like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Friday the Thirteenth remakes, but I suspect that's because they were both directed by Marcus Naspell, who actually understood that he was making horror movies. Horror being first, they somehow seemed to rise above the usual Drek. And speaking of Drek, the Amityville Horror, in the last episode, I mentioned that the actual real, quote unquote story that Amityville is based on is totally fabricated. The whole Lutz family and the House from Hell.

So these filmmakers took that as a license to yarn spin wildly, although they kept everything factually based. I noticed that they that Platinum Dunes had a habit of if they could throw up a that's based on a true story for all of their features. They even did it with the Hitcher technically not technically. They put up statistics about how many people are killed out on the highways, implying that it's because of murderous loan serial killers and not because you know, people fell asleep and drove onto a fucking billboard. Here's what the brain trust over it.

This Amityville came up with, you know, the whole Indian burial ground and or depository for the mentally ill that the house was built on, the one that the actual local tribe in the area denied existed. Yeah, that gets front and center placement here. And since we've already been ripping off Poltergeist, let's rip off Poultergeist too. We'll throw in an evil reverend character Reverend Ketchum k E T c hum ketchum, which kind of sounds like catch them. So that becomes something or really nothing, an old Indian burial ground and an evil reverend Fellas.

We're doing our best as viewers. Could you meet us halfway. If there's any improvement over the original, it's that this one has moments of familial bliss at the beginning. In the original, James Brolin's character was a miserable prick from the moment we met him. At least here, Ryan Reynolds is charming and you can see why the kids like him, you can see why the wife likes him.

And when that nice guy starts slowly descending into madness, there's actual dread that comes from it. His performance is great overall, but that's it. That's my That's the only thing recommending this movie. Ripley is recommending it. But I am dissuading you do not see The Amityville Horror.

It is freely available on Max right now. You could stream it right Now't oh stop, it's not great. You know it's not great. Continue our delightful meal of Deadpool and Wolverine. I'm going to offer my pairing now.

This one is actually from the same neighborhood of early twenty first century, from two thousand and six. My choice can actually be considered an anthology, and given that it will no doubt be the subject of a future anthologies. Attack you're at midnight viewing this one stars Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weiss. This is the Fountain. A special tree grows, the tree of life.

They say, whoever drinks of its sap will live forever. Will you deliver Spain from mondage? Take this ring. It is a symbol of your pledge to find the elixir of immortality. She'll wear it when you find eating, and when you return, I shall be at ease.

M Thursday, Hurry and things all right? How's she doing? She had a seizures? Wait free It's been progress of work, my conquist door, always conquering, the. Test of the substance that whole.

Your wife meets you because it's a disease. I'm secure. I will fight it. You pull me through time. Don't worry worse there.

Our bodies are prisons, all ourselves. I'm not freed anymore. Tommy old fashed decay, death turn. It's all to the ash. And thus death freeze.

The episode. The Fountain was written and directed by Darren Aronofsky, who also made Pie Requiem for a Dream. The wrestler, Black Swan and the Whale, and I happen to think this is his masterpiece. The entire film is a contemplation of death, more specifically its inevitability and how we cope with it, and more importantly, how we fear it. It's told in three stories, each featuring Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weiss playing effectively the same characters, but different because they're from different time periods.

The first one is about a conquistador in the sixteenth century who's searching for the Fountain of Youth to save his love, who is dying. The second features Jackman as a doctor in the present day who is trying to find a cure for cancer because his wife is slowly dying of cancer. And the final gives us a space traveler who is journeying through the universe toward a dying star because he believes that when it goes super nova, it will restore the life of his slowly dying love. So the film's span is about one thousand years, give or take, which sounds daunting, but the film is so lyrical and so lovely that you won't feel a bit of the length or the transitions from scene to scene, story to story, or character to character.

In each of the tales, you get to experience the varying coping mechanisms we all have for grief, whether it's already befailure or in this case, while it's fast approaching. As always, I don't want to give away too much, but as someone who's been in Jackman's characters shoes, I can say that the movie does present challenging conclusions, but necessary ones. I suspect you'll take away from this movie exactly what you bring to it, and hopefully you can't relate to it at all, and you'll just see it for the visual feast that it is. But if you can relate, if grief has had its hooks in you in your life, then I really think you should give The Fountain a want. It's a true piece of art and one that has a lot to say.

If you're listening, and of course you have to pay for it, you could email me. I'll find you a link or something. Maybe it's on YouTube. I don't know. You should see The Fountain.

I guarantee I'm not steering you wrong. Folks. Well we did it, huh. We're wrapping up another round up. Lady Yes, your choice had way more shirtless Ryan Reynolds and is therefore a better movie.

Yeah, but I'm going to enjoy my week fest. Please please hand me my hanky once again. Thank you all for joining us here at the weekly roundup. Episodes of this and all versions of beIN Dined Viewing can be found early and commercial free over at patreon dot com slash fatherom alone. If you have any questions or comments or anything at all, you can drop me a line at Fathom Alone seven to one at gmail dot com.

First one to do it gets it read. On the air this week over at Midnight Viewing the Horror Anthology Podcast, we are continuing our look at Tales from the dark Side. We're gonna be looking at two episodes from season one, the final two episodes from season one. Those are Grandma's Last Wish and The False Prophet. We'll see you there until next time.

I'm going to leave you with a line from the Fountain. All these years, all these memories, there was you. You pull me through time. Show sh Show