103: The Conventions of Horror

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian.

I am Misty. I am Marlena. And we are once again on the road. On the road again. I'm not going to sing anymore.

Oh, we are on I-65 heading towards Cincinnati. No, we are on 71 heading towards Cincinnati. We have 88 miles of Cincinnati. It's going to be a long trip. 88 miles!

And I'm wearing my sunglasses. So we are heading to Horror Hound Weekend. We will record as we go along. Actually, I liked it last week. I thought it was an interesting process, so I thought we would... try to do a similar setup this week and get it as we head up there and while we're there just have the entire ongoing road trip be the show itself so I.

Don't know I thought it was fun I don't know I had my own road trip last weekend so I wasn't part of yours so I don't know what you all. Did we can get to yours then I guess we can roll on into the geek week which I haven't done too much other than piece together that last episode I was trying to think of anything else I had watched lately The only thing I was going to specifically tell you guys about was, well, first let me read you the description and see if you know what movie. I'm talking about. It's a glimpse into the teenage wasteland of suburbia that takes place over 24 hours and teenagers who make their way through the last day of high school in the last year, blah, blah, blah. Isn't Daisy confused?

Doesn't that sound exactly like Daisy confused? I love Daisy. I watched. I watched Remember the Days. Spelled with a Z.

Because they're from the streets? Because they're from the streets. Oh, God. I bet that didn't suck at all. Here's what suckered me in, though, because I'm looking at what was coming on next, and I was just like, oh, what the hell is that?

And then I looked at the listing, and it's got Amber Heard. Oh, hell yeah, I love me some Amber Heard. So I was like, all right, maybe I'm going to have to at least see what this is. So.... So, it's great.

I love what you're saying. It's so. Like, and that's the thing. I didn't really pay that much attention to it. Like, that part of it.

Like, I just started and it's her and she's like... They're all, like, high school kids. So, it's her getting up in the morning. She's, like, picking everybody up and driving around and everybody going to school. And it's about 20 minutes or so into it when they're like, hey, where are you going?

Oh, we're going to a party later. And, like, all of a sudden, I'm just like, oh, my God. This is straight up, like, wannabe Dazed and Confused. Like. Their big thing is.

Was Ben Affleck hanging around beating people with paddles? Because then it'd be totally like the same. They're kind of... They have their version of that, too. Because I was thinking.

God, I hate Ben Affleck. But he's awesome in that. So, yeah, he's... The difference in this one is that it's the last day, you know... It's the end of a millennium.

This takes place not in 1960-whatever-the-hell-it-was, but it's 1999. Woo! That's the same. Year I graduated. Woo!

Party. It's a forever party. You're one of these partying kids, I guess. The only parties I went to involved me babysitting my friend and throw up on her chicken nuggets. And eat them again.

That's not a good party at all. So this was the other thing, and another reason it seems so similar to Dazed and Confused as we get into the ensemble cast here. So I'm sitting there, and I'm watching, and I'm like, okay, well, at least Amber Heard's cute. Whatever. So then it continues on, and I'm just like, okay, isn't that...

Isn't that... Wait, isn't that... So it's basically the whole damn cast of Mandy Lane. Oh, I love Mandy Lane. That's why I didn't watch that movie.

The. The Obsessed Kid, the other main character, more or less, in Mandy Lane, he's like a drummer in the band that's playing that night. He's the first one I was kind of like, isn't that the other guy from Mandy Lane? Ooh, did it have my boyfriend that I love? What was his name?

Luke Grimes, who played the sleazy guy that I love? Oh my god, he was so. Hot in the trash. The slutty bastard. Oh my god, yes, he was hot.

No, he was the one that wasn't there. It had the Obsessed Kid, and then it had the rich jackass thing. What's his name? Aaron Hammerstein. The kid whose dad owned the house, the one with the curly hair.

Yeah, he had him too. But he was delivering lines that were almost the same thing. It was him giving this line to a chick that was kind of the same. I was like, really? I was like, did this lady hook up with the guy making Mandy Lane and he just decided to split cast and script on certain pages?

I don't know. That was weird. But then it kept going through, and it was like, it was a whole big old movie of, oh, it's that guy. Oh, it's that. So you've got, let's see, here's the rundown.

You've got the cancer guy from Fanboys, the goofy Chris Marquette, I think. But then I'm looking at the other guy, and I knew the other guy, too. Then I found out the other guy is the guy from the movie High School that I just watched. It's actually awesome. I would say go find that one and skip this one.

But his name is Sean Marquette. It's his brother. The fanboys guy. They're actually brothers. In this movie, plain brothers.

And then, let's see, what else? The other one, funny one. Wesley Jonathan, which I don't know if I've ever referred to him by his actual name, but I thought I would just to be somewhat nice. Because to me, he's like, he's always been, oh, look, it's Amanda's friend. The guy from what?

Amanda, Amanda. The guy from What I Like About You, our friend from every episode. Gary? It's him, yeah. Aw, Gary.

I was like, I don't think I knew him as anything but Gary. It's like, I don't think his name was Wesley, but that's kind of funny. That was his name, wasn't it, Gary? I didn't just make that up. I believe it is Gary, actually.

So, let's see, what else? We've got Alexa Vega, who is kind of recognizable. She kicked ass in Repo at United Government. I just, yeah, I kept looking, going... Is that...

Lava Girl? It kind of looks like Lava Girl. I don't know. But, yeah, I finally was like, yeah, let me double-check. But, yeah, Alexa Vega's in it.

And the only other semi-recognizable one, and this was one I kind of had to figure out, it's got the girlfriend from Kick-Ass, Lindsay Forska. She's, yeah, the girlfriend. Why are you just making words up? I don't make these people's names. So, yeah, I don't know.

That. Cast is, I guess, half the reason that I finished sitting there watching it. I was just, like, the entire time trying to figure out, oh, okay, look at that, I'll be dead. Other than that, yeah, I mean, it is just so wannabe Dazed and Confused, except... None of the, like, clever dialogue.

You don't get any of those. No Matthew McConaughey. No Matthew McConaughey. No Ben Affleck. You know, none of those classic performances that kind of, you know, when these were up-and-coming stars.

And that's kind of what this felt like. It's like you're taking all these people that are kind of at that same point where it's like some of these people could actually be big stars in a few years, but... Yeah, not in this movie. I don't know. I just didn't get much out of this movie at all.

Everything felt so forced and so ripped off from that story. And there's one scene that even kind of felt like they were ripping off Outsiders. Oh, I love that movie too. Yeah, but not in this. I was just like, yeah, there's just no originality at all in this movie.

The closest thing, there's Amber Heard's younger sister is like, Just a horrible bitch. She's kind of funny. Like, she doesn't come out of her room. She, like, just yells at people, including her parents, anytime they get anywhere near her. So she's mean?

Yeah, kind of. She just, like, she spends the whole movie, like, flipping off Amber and yelling at her and, you know, just cursing constantly. And I kind of like that character. So they followed me around for days and didn't tell me. Yeah, they wouldn't have to follow much.

She pretty much stays in her bedroom the entire movie, basically. Yeah, that was kind of entertaining. She was about the only character that was like, okay, you need to transplant this character into a better movie. Because most of the other guys are just like, I don't really care about you kids, so let's find a better movie to watch. Yeah, remember the days.

Or not. Or forget about that movie. Again, the cast, interesting. Not the movie so much, but. I don't know.

Other than that, and, um... piecing stuff together for this week and last week's episode. That's pretty much all I did. But yeah, otherwise that was about it for me. So who wants to roll next? Should I start with my road trip or should I do the movies I watched?

However you want to do it. I watched a couple of movies. All of them kind of sucked. Boyfriend decided I needed to watch Puppet Master. That was long and fucking stupid.

They're fucking puppets for God's sakes. How are you getting fucking killed by a puppet? You fucking kick the damn thing. It's gone. Ta-da.

But yeah, that was stupid. I didn't like that movie. He made me watch last night. Made me watch In the Mouth of Madness. Interesting.

Fucking hell. The movie went on for days. And I was playing the hey, it's that guy game along with that one too. There was that one guy who was Lex Luthor's dad from Smallville. And then there was that one person who was uh I fucking hit uh um the Carpathian in it um I don't know the guy from Ghostbusters 2 Viggo the Carpathian.

I love it. The guy in the painting. Okay. Yeah. And then it had somebody else.

I was like, oh yeah, that's that person. But now I can't remember who the hell it was. It's not really that important, I guess. But then it had the paper boy. It was Hayden Christensen.

That was pretty exciting. But yeah, I fucking hated that movie. It was stupid. Way too long. It thought it was smarter than it was.

I just wanted to kick it. I wanted to punch it in the face. If that movie had a face, I would punch. It in the face. And then laugh at it for its misery.

I don't know. I never made Boyfriend watch Frozen. Fucking hated that movie. I've heard so many good things about it. No, you're not going to hear them from me because that movie was fucking stupid.

A bunch of fucking retards and oh I hated that movie god they weren't really retarded they were just stupid I'm sorry if I'm in the retard. Community up there. Oh god special whatever. I hated that we should call the show adventures in political correctness I'm gonna. Fail every week I'm.

Gonna fail at that yeah that movie was just kids are just stupid and it's like what'd. You get for going skiing you damn jockeys That's from Squidbit. Like, he probably wouldn't get that one. Oh, God. I'm gonna get so much hate now.

I think it was not good. Didn't like it. They deserve to get eaten by wolves. Only two of them did. I don't deserve it, though.

I don't like her. But, uh. I was just mad because I figured Iceman is okay. He should have been in his element, but no. I guess not.

He's Iceman. He wasn't a fucking X-Men. He should have some powers. He could do something. But no.

He just freezes his ass to death. Gets eaten by wolves. He's not cool. I can't remember. The director might be up here.

I think he's the same guy that did Hatchet 2. I think it's Adam Green. I like Hatchet. Hatchet kicked ass. I can talk about that.

That movie was awesome. I love the hell out of that movie. But it was great. But then we went to Memphis, so I watched more of my share of Elvis movies. I don't even remember which ones they were.

Kissing Cousins was in there, so I watched that one, and Spitting Speedway, and I don't know, a whole bunch of Elvis movies. We went to Graceland and all that stuff, because I'm a big geek, and let me smell this. Went to Beale Street. We almost lost my mom, because she got grabbed by some black guy who was going to keep her, because he loved her, and she was a pretty girl, and he was going to keep her, and we just. Kept walking, because I figured you can't save them all.

So I figured. You know, you just keep walking. You cut your losses because if we all stop, he's going to get all of us. Did she escape? She eventually found her way back to us.

I figured I'm doing you a favor. If we keep walking, you've got to catch up. I'm giving you a reason to leave. If not, then there's more room in the car on the way home. You sacrificed your mom.

You can't. You've got to know when you're best beaten, dude. You just keep going. And then, uh, we almost did die because there was the guy outside of our hotel room sharpening his machetes. Three of them.

Three machetes. Why? I don't know. Did he juggle them? I have no idea.

I never saw him juggle them. That would have been awesome before we died. But, yeah, three, the guy sharpening his machetes outside of our hotel room. How did that even go? I don't know.

It was frightening. I'm just like, uh. I thought it's illegal to carry, like, a weapon longer than, like, your thumb or something like that or. like three inches or whatever. Those two would have been screwed because this was three fucking big old machetes, you know, all kinds of fucking Danny Trejo machetes. I was going to say, was it Danny Trejo?

No, because that would have been awesome. I was going to say, I don't think that law applies if you're on your way to see Danny Trejo because we saw several last week as they were hanging out in line with their machetes. Yeah, this was no, yeah, we were going to die. It's kind of given when you're going to Memphis. You expect to lose at least one person, you know.

But, yeah, we all made it back. All was good, you know. Yay for Memphis. Probably wasn't as scary as that time we went to Akron, though. That was really scary.

Oh, the hotel with the barred windows and the phone call? Yeah, the phone call in the middle of the night. You ladies need some company? Did you all order a male escort? Yeah, for real.

Which was really. Scary because it meant that, you know, someone knew that we were in there. And you were needing a man. It was probably, like, the creepy gang of, like, what are Mexican gangsters called? I don't know.

Cholos. Cholos. Cholos. It's probably the very dangerous looking gang of cholos hanging out across the parking lot. I hope that's not an offensive term.

Find out if that's a racist thing and if it is, delete that. Dude, really? We're worried about offending people? I don't want to get attacked by no cholos. Oh, there you go.

They weren't sharpening their machetes. They were just offering me some companionship. And the mysteriously stained chair that was in the corner. And the toilet that. Jessica was afraid to go to the bathroom on because she thought someone would crawl out and eat her ass.

I mean, I stayed in a much worse hotel in Chicago once. It was called the Cloud Nine. Don't ever stay there. Oh my god. Our side tables had been stolen.

And some guy knocked on the door in the middle of the night because he'd left. His jacket in the room. Like, what kind of housekeeping? Like, what the fuck? It was weird.

Oh, and there was bloodstains on the curtain in the bathroom. This all seems normal. Very weird. Alright, that's my weekend. I'm done.

Oh, let's see. What did I do? What did I do? I've been on a watching documentary kick lately. And I watched The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia.

I love saying that. I love alliteration. It makes me really happy. You should work for a comic book company. I know.

I also watched Jesus Camp. which is hilarious. I meant to watch it when it was playing at a university when it first came out, and I meant to go see it, and I didn't. But it's on Netflix if anyone wants to watch it. It's awesome. My gym normally plays really stupid movies, but this week they played Whip It, which I'd never seen.

I liked Whip It. And I really liked it. It was a really good movie. It was better than I expected. It's not amazing, but it's better than I expected.

Yeah, it's one of those movies that you just get really into and you don't pay attention to how long you've been running, which is nice. But then I also was subjected to The Karate Kid. The remake? The remake. And Van Helsing 5 or whatever.

What? I didn't know they were up to 5. I don't know. It wasn't the first Van Helsing, but it was one of the Van Helsings and it was awful. But those are movies that make you want to run really fast just so you can be done and then leave.

Are you trying to escape the movie? Yes. That's how I feel. You know, it's kind of a good thing. Like, once they were playing, like, a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie for some reason, I'm like, oh, God, run fast so I can leave.

Run fast so I can leave. Yeah. Not Jean-Claude. Sorry, sorry. Not Jean-Claude.

Sorry, Metal Mikey. No Steven Seagal. Is it Metal Mikey, the one that's like a huge JCVD fan? Probably. Yeah, okay.

I like JCVD. He's still pretty hot for an L.A. Dude. Yeah. You can tell him sorry later.

I'm assuming he'll be here today. But, yeah, that was pretty much what I did. Those movies. I'm sure I watched other things that I blocked out, and I do that. Oh, oh.

This week's episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was hilarious. Hilarious. It was about juggalos and blackface. It was amazing. That's classy.

It was so classy. I watched the Halloween episode of Community and that was fucking hilarious, dude. Oh my god. I still need to go back and watch that. I'm assuming it's on the interweb somewhere.

Is it on Hulu.com? There you go. All right. So does that cover all of our weeks? And I think that's it.

Yep. Yep. I don't know. Anything else we want to say in anticipation of the Big Horror Hound weekend? Damn you, Danielle Harris.

That's uncalled for. I just don't want to. It's so expensive. I just don't want to watch that fucking movie. Huh?

I just don't want to watch that fucking movie. Fuck When Harry Met Sally. Fuck that movie. Fuck everybody in that movie. I hate that movie.

It downgrades women because it becomes what chick flicks are and everybody looks down on chick flicks because they're stupid because they are stupid. And it makes. Women seem stupider for like them. Fuck chick flicks. Fuck When Harry Met Sally.

Fuck Sleepless in Seattle. Fuck anything that has Meg Ryan in it because she sucks. And her face is horrible, and it has a Joker smile. I hate her face. I was going to say, I really like Cecil B.

DeMinted, but that's Melanie Griffith. She's almost as bad. Yeah, I know, but Cecil B. DeMinted is fucking awesome. It is awesome.

It wouldn't be awesome if it had Meg. Ryan in it, though. Probably not. Well, I. Save my thoughts on it.

I actually had a very different response than I expected. I probably shouldn't be in the room when you talk to her about this. Bad things will happen, and I'll hurt her feelings. She's a tiny little girl, and she's tough, but I could probably. Still take her.

We'll see. She's a scrapper. She'd probably just cling on like a damn spider monkey or something. I wouldn't be able to shake her. She seems like a hair puller, and I'm not done with it.

You have a lot of hair. I know, and it's nice and straight right now, and I want it to stay that way. I should probably grab it and... Pull out chunks and that would be all crooked. Let's not find out.

You kids just get along now. Don't make me turn this road trip right around. I'm the one driving. It. Turn this car right around.

I'm hungry. Do we need to stop at a gas station? Yeah, eventually. When my gas thingy starts blinking. We can stop.

We're going to stop before it starts blinking. Well, I mean, you'll still have like 50 miles or so. All right. We will check back in with you somewhere further down the road. On that crazy Kings Highway.

Too much passion Too. Much play We. Went dancing, dancing, dancing across the U.S.A. Time out for a delicious snack in our sparkling refreshment building. Every item a fresh, appetizing taste treat.

Fresh popcorn, delicious and crisp, with or without butter. French fries, crisp and golden brown. First quenching, refreshing ice cold drinks. All right, we're here with Dean Cameron. Let's see, you, I guess, just get into the basics here.

I mean, you're a kid growing up in Illinois. Were you really into movies at that point, that early on? Well, actually, I grew up in Oklahoma. I was born in Illinois. Okay.

Yeah, I loved movies, and I had my friends. I visited my father in Santa Barbara every summer. And I would do theater with my friends. I did a great theater program. And they were going down to L.A. doing commercials and TV shows.

So I knew I wanted to be an actor when I was a kid. So I definitely loved going to movies. Young Frankenstein was my favorite. And Poseidon Adventure. Those were my two favorite movies when I.

Was a kid. Wow. Okay, it wasn't just me. I had a weird obsession with Poseidon Adventure. I can't explain it I saw it it was the first movie I think that was the first movie depending on which came out first I think.

I saw it eight times when it came out it's crazy I loved it I don't know what it was it was that and I described that we were watching Daylight not that long ago and I was like taking any any day like an everyday situation and then turning it into like death defying you know Disneyland. Ride turning it upside down literally yeah so yeah I'm right with you on that one there Let's see. So I guess how did you eventually break into it? Eventually? Well...

How did I get in? The early days, I guess. Well, I moved to L.A. In 1980, and it took me about four years to begin making a living at it. It took me two years to.

Start working, but I was still doing. I was working at the Chinese Theater, the place with. The hand-picked prints. I was working there, and I was parking cars, and I was studying acting. But, yeah, it took me about four years to start... like i said make a living.

Yeah yeah and then. 86 well anyway yeah yeah you'd gotten i guess you've ended up with your first role with mark harman what was it does mark harman just have a thing for you you know i have a theory maybe mark harman just had a thing for you and he was just. Well i think he had a thing for me patrick labrador and. Kirstie alley because we were all in prince. Of bel-air and yeah he was you know apparently he my agent at the time told me that She had talked to Marmon about summer school, and he said, yeah, I'm looking for a younger Dean Cameron.

And my agent said, well, why don't you just get Dean Cameron? I said, I don't know, I don't know. But I went and met Carl Reiner. And the rest is history. Definitely.

Well, before you got to summer school, I did want to ask you, as far as you ended up getting the role on the Fast Times TV show. Yeah. How do you approach a role like Spicoli when you're not John Pinn? Carefully. Very carefully and respectfully.

I've said this before. It's a job I did not want to do, and I had no. Intention of doing it. But I realized that it was going to put me on the map in Hollywood because everybody wanted to know. Who's the poor sucker who's going to be doing Spicoli?

And it was me. And it was mission accomplished. It accomplished exactly what I wanted to do. It lasted very, it was very short, seven episodes. But, I mean, Amy Hechtling directed it, and she was originally going to direct Summer School.

So she was talking about me for the Summer School part already, and... So mission accomplished. So it worked out perfectly. But I, you know, I knew Sean from acting class and long. Story, but no, I'm glad I did.

Definitely. Yeah. From the career standpoint, I'm just going to go into a couple of the others. Like, um, what was your take on bad dreams? You know, I was really happy to do it and I thought it was a really cool movie that I didn't do as well as I would have liked.

Um, I think that's great. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm good in it.

It's a neat, weird little movie. Definitely. I had kind of forgotten Miracle Beach and just caught it again the other day. It was on cable a lot at that point in time. I'd seen it many times.

Is it one you're not so thrilled with? Well, it's funny. About halfway through the movie, I gave up. Nice. But I kept saying to myself, you know, no one will ever see this horrible, horrible movie.

And in 1996, HBO cut their own version of it, a PG version, so they could show it during the daytime. And it was the most showed movie in 1996 on HBO. Oh, my God. Yeah, and I could not escape it. And it's so funny because of that movie.

Everybody thought I was working all the time because it was on. All the time. I see him all the time. Yeah, he's working all the time. There he is again.

Can't get her. But I just was not happy as that. You know, I just fell off. But ski school was okay? Ski school was ski school.

I had fewer expectations. Of ski school than I did with Miracle Beach or Miserable Beach, as. I like to call it. Oh, well, did you ever see the movie Channel 4? promo that they ran for it they they kind of had a point i was like it was so out of its times period yeah it was it was definitely uh it sort of missed its window for it to actually be like massively popular i guess. I still like it so i was gonna say then then you you ended up working on his first feature with noah baumbach um what uh i guess what was he like at that point in his career and and The same as he is now.

He's really funny and driven and great. I've done a couple other movies with him. So he's awesome. Kicking and Screaming is really good and showed what a good writer he was at that point. As far as the shoot, was there anything on set going on that was...

Memorable, I guess. I just remember thinking, I wish they were making movies like this when I was a young actor. Yeah. That's still true. It's amazing how few he's made because, yeah, he needs to make more.

Yeah, he does. I know he wants to. I mean, for him, lack of trying is not really up to him as much as it is up to other people to give him money. Which is usually the downfall of most good projects. Yeah.

Let's see. I was going to ask some of the other stuff you do. As far as Thornbirds, are you still. Unfortunately, no. Two of the guys that are in that band are in a band called Steel Panther, which is this fake heavy metal band.

They're doing great. They got a deal on Universal, and they're touring around the world. Fortunately, I have a song on their record, so that's cool. I don't play with... I would like to, and they would like to, but they're making more money doing a fake band.

But I play every week sort. Of a hobby. They actually pay us, which is even better, but I play in this karaoke band called Coreyoke, where ostensibly it's Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, and Corey Hart coming back to try to get back on top and. Get to sing with us. It's really stupid and silly, and we're just the guys.

To do it. So is it you play the karaoke, or it's karaoke? You get to sing with a live band. Nice. So we know 120 songs, and you get up and you sing one of the songs, and we back you up, and it's awesome.

That's a good amount of songs to memorize. Yeah. I'd say I have them down completely, flawlessly, but I can fake it. It's also a karaoke bar, you know. People are a little toasty, so the more toasty you are, the better we sound.

Probably, yeah. I was going to ask about that one anyway, because, yeah, are you... One of our crew here, the one that just left, has Corey Haim tattooed on her leg. That's true. So you're not a huge fan of Corey's?

I love the Corey's. I just thought they sort of threw it all away because they were really, really good actors. It's a tragedy. It's been repeated over and over again. It's just too bad that they did that.

Yeah, definitely. It's sad. Um let's see you said you were directing now is that something you're not. As much i mean i don't i do it i've directed some stage stuff in la uh one of the things won a bunch of awards and did really well and uh some short films and you know it's something i like to do if i if i want to beat my head against the wall and kill myself i think i'd rather just do acting but i just stopped doing that. Because I was kind of curious on the Nigerian scam.

What's the backstory, I guess, first off, and then the project itself? The Nigerian 419 scammers, I corresponded with one for a year, and I was writing as a very lonely... sexually confused millionaire from Florida who had a houseboy named Kwan. It's a little excitable. And writing as someone who's just rich enough and stupid enough or gullible enough to fall for the scam. And so it lasted a year, the correspondence, and friends were urging me to turn it into something.

So I turned it into a two-person show. And it's me and another guy reading these letters and I show the Pictures that went back and forth and played the phone calls that I made, that he called me, I called him. It's pretty great. We've played around the world for the last six years. Seven, six years.

It's a great show. We're going to be in Salt Lake next March. That's an amazing concept and way to take it to a different level. There's this whole thing about found art and I think You know, the Internet as art, creating art from the Internet. And I think it's one of the first things that did that.

It was like six years ago. That's definitely, yeah, kind of moving into a whole new territory. Let's see. The only thing, I guess you've got a son now. Would you. encourage him to go into the business?

No. We constantly, wife and I constantly joke about we're going to keep him from doing that. We want him to be a scientist. We want him to develop a healthy ice cream because we think he could be a billionaire and support us in the manner we're accustomed to in our old age. So that's what we're hoping he does.

I'm always up for ice creams. I'm on board for that idea too. It wouldn't be great ice cream that made you fit and extended your longevity and fought diseases. It'd be great. Even better.

My son's just the man to do it. Awesome. All right. I think that is it. Thank you for talking with us today, sir.

Thank you. Choosing a family movie is tough. It seems like all Hollywood can do is make mindless drivel that rots kids' brains. Who wants to see a movie like. What my dad watched when he was a kid.

Those films are so boring and the special effects are horrible. The movies he grew up with are. Sometimes a big surprise. I at times feel uncomfortable watching movies I loved when I was younger with my own kids because I forgot how much cursing, sex, and violence they showed back then. All we want to do is watch a fun movie that.

We all like. That's why we created Family Movie Night, a podcast where we review movies from an adult. Perspective and from a kid's perspective. So you can find movies for your whole family to enjoy. We review new movies.

Old childhood favorites, cult and foreign films. And Godzilla. So check out Family Movie Night on the web at fmnpodcast.com or find us on iTunes. Bye! We are family.

We are family. We are family. Hey, this is Danielle Harris. So I am now maybe, I have to think about it, but quite possibly one of the newest members of Movie Meltdown. If I could never actually get to the movies.

But I'll review some. Old 80s rom-coms for you. You are listening to Movie Meltdown. Thank you. Alright, so we're now here in Jungle Gyms.

How would you describe this? Oh my god. It's like a really awesome, it's like Whole Foods but times a million of awesome. I heard an entire thing of olives. Fucking olives.

Olives I've never even fucking heard of before. Okay, Randy, you're here too. What do you think of this place? I enjoyed the passive-aggressive corn. I liked the brain manipulator, whatever the hell that thing was I just sat in.

I don't feel comfortable being marketed to by a giant can. Of soup that has the opportunity to defecate on me. Yeah, we are standing next to a giant can of Campbell's soup, swinging on a swing with a little creepy Campbell's kid standing next to him in some sort of pit pat. I don't know what's going on. A pit pat?

It's like buy Campbell's soup or die. I'm pretty sure he would attack us all if we didn't. And so far we're not, so we could be in trouble. Alright, so now Marlena was just standing by a wall of boxed wine. What do you think of that, Marlena?

I'm so excited. We saw a giant mechanical Elvis bear thing. Oh, a conundrum. That's pretty exciting. A conundrum?

That's nice. We are in quite a conundrum here. That was a map, but it's just for the beer and wine department. Just the beer and wine. I want to know where the soda pops are.

If you need a map to go to your grocery, I don't know. That's a lot to deal with. I just want to go buy some pretzels or something. Kraft sharp cheddar. They have individually wrapped slices.

These are all fancy and whatnot. Buffalo wing. I don't know. Where's the individually wrapped American? That's what I'm looking for.

That is the biggest block of cheese I have ever seen. Holy shit. You could build a house. Out of this. You could build an igloo.

Out of this cheese still kind of fails in comparison to that chick's mustache that chick's mustache was horrendous she needs to like wax that shit or go ahead and grow a beard and make the whole set I thought you were just being harsh but then I turned around I was like oh geez wow she really no joke she's got a full on stash going bleach. That shit pluck it fucking shave it down whatever something covered in. Cheese All right, so what's your wrap-up on the whole event? That was the best store ever. This pickle is really good.

It came out of a barrel. I was so excited. It's a giant pickle. I can't take a bite of it with my fake teeth now, though. My fake tooth.

And there is a monorail up there, which sadly we don't get to take home, but oh well. I guess we will wrap up our event here at Foodies and head on back to the show. Hi, I'm Chili Dilly, the personality pickle. Packed in a jar for the freshest flavor. Served cold in a sack for you to savor.

Crisp, tender, and tasty with a bit of spice. Buy one now. Taste how nice. Snack bar clerks will knock themselves silly, speeding your order for a real jilly-dilly. And now let's check in with actor Jonathan Breck.

The creeper himself, from Jeepers Creepers 1 and 2, and. See what he's up to. I just, uh, finished a kids movie of all things Spy Kids 4 with Robert Rodriguez and some good people in that Jessica Alba and Jeremy Piven from Entourage so it should be a lot of fun I just finished that about three weeks ago so yeah and then part three in the works part three is definitely in the works I have a script and we were really close about a year and a half ago I want to say I mean the movie was scouted budgeted we were even hiring some of the crew I mean, that's how close we were. But MGM had, as you probably were, had a lot of financial difficulties recently. They're in bankruptcy, and so we're waiting for them to...

Everything got frozen when that happened. All their assets got frozen, so we were basically put on hold. So we're waiting for them to get out of that mess, and once they do, hopefully we'll be back online. Thank you very much. Thank you for talking to us.

Thank you to Jonathan, and we'll hear more from him in future episodes. Are you looking for a way to connect with people who like the things that you like? Whether it's music, movies, TV. or whatever you're into, head on over to the palover.com forums. Yes, but forums and message boards are elitist and archaic. Well, yeah, maybe if you're an asshole.

Palover.com is home to all your favorite podcasts. So why not head over there now? Start talking about all the things you want to talk about. That's palaver.com. P-A-L-A-V-E-R dot com.

In Napoli, where love is king. When boy meets. Girl, here's what they say. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. All right, so here we are at La Rosa's Pizzeria.

We've crammed, what, a good 50, 60 people in this place. Yeah, it's kind of like concentration camp seating. You know, it's been exciting. It's been interesting, I'd say that. What's your take on it, Miffy?

Way too many fucking people. Yeah. That shouldn't be the corner. Randy put me in the corner. I suggested.

I wanted to sit up there so I could get easy. I just suggested that that way you wouldn't be next to, see? I thought maybe then you wouldn't be crammed next to anybody unsightly like myself. I've watched many movies because you know that the badass... always. Sits in the corner with your back to the wall and you watch.

Escape route. I was looking for you. Escape route isn't an issue because you don't have to. Well, then you had an escape route. But if anyone had come at.

You, you were able to provide a complete overlapping field of fire threat assessment. For anything that could have bothered you. I gave you the alpha position, and I was counting my safety on you being alert. And you just sat there and dickered and dickered with your damn phone. Oh, don't give me this sad face.

Yeah, now you're being mean. You're going to get in trouble. Oh, wait a minute. Did I mention how awesome Misty is? That's your catchphrase.

Oh, usually. Yeah, it's late. Feelings have been hurt. I knew this wouldn't work. I've met everybody.

We did what we can, people. That's true. Marlena, do you have. Anything to add to this? She saw a baby.

I like turtles. And babies. I like babies, too. That would be Samurai's baby. Would you like to go into the beautifulness of Rick's baby?

He's pretty cute. He has a little hat on. I love men with hats. I love old men with those hats and I love young men with those hats and babies with those hats. But not in the same way.

You know, like... Not in creepy way. Yeah no i see a man close to my age or up to 10 years older i think hey who's that guy in the hat i see an old man in a hat and i think oh that's so cute and i see a baby in a hat i think oh that's so cute seems very. Different you're gonna nail all three of them whatever. That's gross i didn't say.

At the same time now that would be gross You need to get her a man instruction manual. You need to get that for many women. I did see a snuggie karma sutra today. I don't know if that's exactly what you're talking about. I was going to put it on the way here.

I was like, I've decided unless a man wears a. Bow tie, I'm not interested. That is what you said. And then earlier I upped it and added a monocle. You got pretty excited.

And then you said handlebar mustache. I said, you just described Mr. Peanut. And then you said bingo. That sounds about right.

Yeah, I got nothing on that part. I'm sad and desperate too, but I mean. He makes me out to be a sad, man-hungry spinster. That's his job. Wow, look at this, like in 3D I'm actually a dick.

I think I was telling you that all along. I've been saying that since day one. I'm like, here's another call from that dick, man. Now you get to experience it. He's our favorite listener, that listener, the dick.

But no, you. Have to know the sliding scale. As much as we, you know, you're a dick, but think how terrible that makes all the rest of it. I was unseatable. All you have to do is write a fucking mail and post it.

You know? Like, never mind. It's all this shit. What else were we going to discuss earlier? Oh, we did play skee-ball.

Misty's the one that won everything. I kicked ass at the Haunted Mansion game, and I got the fucking 125 tickets, which got me a bunch of nothing. Actually, Nug got me a kick-ass bag of army guys, Indian firefighters, and some guy with an axe. It's pretty fucking awesome. That was pretty awesome.

I played that game as well. I didn't win. No, I won like 75 tickets or something. Or 50 maybe. I got something relatively useful.

And that girl ripped you off. Yeah, it's because she can't count. She can't count for shit. I like that. It worked in my favor.

You got fucked. I'm sorry. Oh, well. I got my giant army man that has a saw. Like a hacksaw.

Yeah, he's got like a workshop kind of guy. I'm not really sure what he's supposed to be. He sort of looks like. An army man, but he's got a hacksaw, so I don't... I don't understand it, and.

That's kind of why I picked it. I'm like, that guy with the saw, I don't know what he is, but give me that. Probably combat engineer. That's my guess. Oh, man.

Only he wasn't covered in mud. That can be arranged when I'm out in the backyard playing with him. It's good to know. Do you want me to. Tell my wedgie story?

So I couldn't find my phone, so I went to get it in the car, which is in the parking lot, obviously. And I thought I was going out there alone. I was making sure you didn't get burgled or attacked or have. A fit in the parking lot. But I managed to not notice that she was behind me until I was in the parking lot, and I was like, oh, I have a wedgie.

So I picked the wedgie, of course, like anyone would do. And then I hear Missy go, way to pick that wedgie. And I was like, oh, shit, I didn't know you were behind me. Not that I would not have picked the wedgie if she were behind, if I knew she was there, but it just made it really funny. I was complimented on my stealthiness, and I thought I was sneaky like a ninja.

You are like a ninja. Ninja. Ninja attack. I mean. Ninja witcher.

I mean, I did hike up my dress and pull up my pantyhose in front of, like, everybody, so. Again? It was everybody in the women's bathroom, so it's not. This time. Thank you.

You people make your heads feel like the trashiest, like. But you shut yourself up more. I know. And you still come out way shinier than me. I'm the horribly offensive, trashy person.

I got fist bumped by an old man. That's the one. All right, tell the story. I was sitting in. The booth with all the comic books wearer and this old guy with, like, gray hair.

I pulled up to him and I got a ponytail. He's like, that's awesome. And he just pissed up. And I'm like, okay. He's like. no he doesn't take.

A tap standard fist bump I witnessed it it was pretty exciting he. Was old there was no explosions or anything but yeah. He's like your tattoo that's awesome that's awesome. Yeah it was pretty exciting so yeah old man was happy with my tattoo so I feel like I've accomplished something today. For me full on fist bump action I know I did not immediately sanitize so that's a lie.

I did not I don't know But we threatened it. That was after Randy sanitized. After you got old man crotch all over your hand. It's one of the hazards of this park. That wasn't for getting old man crotch, but.

I beg to differ. I think they're all excited about your old man crotch action. Uh, no. Only you were the one excited. Well, that's because that was shock and horror.

It's like sticking your hand into the creature of the Black Lagoon's genitals. Accidentally. Was it moist? Yes. It was unpleasant, okay?

Yeah, there was a moist girl at some point today. Yeah, that happened too. At least the first time we supplied you with sanitizer immediately. Misty's always got the sanitizer ready. How do you know about moist women on accident?

It's like bumper cars. Have you been to a whorehouse? It's wall-to-wall people, and a lot of them are moist. There's singing involved. I guess we should wrap up now.

Probably. Amy, would you like to say hello? Hello. Hello. Give me a wrap-up on the pizzeria experience.

It was really efficient, wonderful, exciting, and I got to talk to the Movie Meltdown crew. And I enjoyed you guys immensely. That would be Amy from Night of Living Podcast. I'm pretty sure she made that up. It's nice.

Yay. Alright, I guess we will wrap up here. I'm sure we will check in before long. Back to the hotel. Some sort of all-night party.

I need to shower. Or we're just going to fall asleep. Last time I was asleep by about 8 o'clock. so that's the party that I live in. When you walk in a dream. But you know you're not dreaming, signore.

Scuse me, but you see, back in old. Napoli, that's amore. Amore, that's amore. It's time for Sofa Theater. Men and women can't be friends.

Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive. No, you pretty much want to nail him, too. A faceless guy rips off your clothes, and that's the sex fantasy you've been having since you were 12.

Exactly the same. Well, sometimes I vary it a little. Which part? What I'm wearing. You tell her about other women.

Yeah, like the other night. I made love to this woman, and it was so incredible. I took her to a place that wasn't human. She actually meowed. You made a woman meow?

I need to talk. What happened? What's the matter? Harry came over last night. I went over to Sally's last night.

Because I was upset that Joe was getting married. One thing led to another. And before I knew it, we were kissing, and then... To make a long story short. We did it.

They did it. I'm too structured. I'm completely closed off. But in a good way. And I'm gonna be 40!

When? Someday. In eight years? It's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was 73.

Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up. It had to be you. It had to be you. I wandered around and finally found the somebody. Who Could make me be true.

Could make me be blue. Or even be glad just to be sad. Welcome back to this week's Sofa Theater. This week's feature is probably a little different than our norm. We have decided to go a different way.

I was just trying to throw a curveball, that's all. And I kind of like that. I mean, normally we go in very different directions. We're pretty all over. The map anyway, but yeah, I thought I would let you pick the movie this week.

So that would be the voice of our special guest for this segment, Danielle Harris. I'm sure you. Guys are all familiar with her. She's one of our favorites on the show, so, you know, we usually speak very highly of her. That's good.

Yeah, yeah. When was our last interview? I think it was last year. Yeah, I think it was last year at Scarefest. Ah, that's right.

Yeah. Oh, but yeah. So this week's Sofa Theater feature is When Harry Met Sally. Don't giggle after you say it. It will probably put some people into shock, which is why I wanted to do it.

I was like, this is not, you know, the norm. Yes. To throw them a curveball as well. Even the crew, because we had, you'll notice I'm the only one here from the show. We had at least one veto.

Nobody else wanted to show up and talk about it. She has a very big issue with Meg Ryan. It would not have gone well. What is her issue exactly? She's the only one.

She has a lot of issues, really, and I tell her that regularly. About Meg Knight or just in general? In general, but it's very specific, focused anger towards Meg Knight. Really? I don't understand why.

Is she just jealous, maybe? No. No? No. It's just an intense hatred for her.

She's a special girl. But we love her. I let her use her veto on this one. Gotcha. I wanted to duke it out with her.

Well, I have my issues, so we can get into them. Otherwise, The Year is 1989. Director Rob Reiner. Spoiler alert, I guess, if you've been out of the country most of your life and haven't seen this movie before, you know. We'll just throw that out there now.

Otherwise, you chose this movie. What was your reason to get into this one, or where would you like to start with this one? Where would I like to start with this one? You know, it's just one of those perfectly written romantic comedies. There isn't a moment in that movie that I didn't enjoy.

From the beginning, it's got a A beautifully copacetic beginning, middle, and ending. And it's not cheesy. It's very real. It's very simple. There are definitely some cheesy moments.

And I think this was when Billy Crystal. And Meg Ryan were at their top. Yeah. All of them were sort of, you know, in their A.E. Game.

Well, I was definitely at that breaking point, kind of for both of them. Yeah. Billy Crystal had been sort of a name for a while, but it hadn't really broken through. And same thing, Meg Ryan, really, this was her first lead role. Yeah.

And I think maybe it's because that's the age that I'm at right now. And they weren't... They were... They were doing their shtick. Yeah.

But it wasn't too shticky, if that makes any sense. Like, I love Adam Sandler. I just can't watch him do it in every single movie. And I prefer him in, like, Punch Drunk Love. And I prefer him in the dramas because he's so talented.

Yeah, I have that same issue. I like what he does, but I don't like when he goes into his routine. Exactly. So I think that this was sort of... And I love Billy Crystal, so this was sort of.

And Meg Renz. This was sort of at the beginning... When they were just fabulous. And together, fantastic. The only one, I mean, if there was anything I thought had a little.

Issue to it, stickiness to it, would be, well, not, he's actually okay. I kind of liked him in this one. He was a little, he downplayed it. Yeah, I think everyone did. I think Rob Reiner kind of wrangled them a little bit and said, okay, take it down like 30%.

Yeah, if anybody fell into their act, I think it was Billy. I think there's a lot of times where it'd be like, especially like the end. When he starts going off on the song, and I'm like, this is. Straight out of your old stand-up, isn't it? Yeah, it totally is.

There's several moments where. I'm like, this is a little out of your act. Which, you know, I guess, again, that's what people were going for at that point. But yeah, if there's one, I have to call him out for it. See, Meg was sort of reined in.

Again, I don't think she'd found her thing yet. I don't think she knew that was her thing. This was the first of about... three or four movies where she did kind of the. Same thing yes this is the beginning of that of. That era first of that for her but yeah billy gets a little sticky but but.

He's still likable it's it's still yeah that era when he's really kind of fun and playful. So all this time i've been saying that he didn't want to get married but the truth is he didn't want to marry me. And story-wise, I think here's what I had to. And that's the thing, I don't think I've watched this since maybe back when it was on VHS. It had been a long time since I'd seen it.

But I think the way I remembered it was kind of, oh, it's a fun romantic comedy and everybody remembers the. Fun jokey kind of scenes. This time going through and re-watching it this past week i got a lot of heavier mood more than i remembered it's. Well you probably experienced some of that in your own life so then i think that's why i'm like watching it now i mean i always loved it as a kid but watching it as an adult is a totally different. Experience it's kind of harsh.

It's heavy yeah i mean i just said the other day i just quoted a line and and i said you know i'm My real boyfriend just had a baby, but we've only been broken up since February, so you could do the math. I was talking about it with my girlfriends, and I said, I can't believe this is my life. I said, I'm pregnant. I'm going to be 40. And she goes, when?

And I said, someday. And she goes, in eight years. So, actually in seven. But it was just one of those things that that's how you start to feel when you're around that age. Like, oh my God.

And then. You know, love can be standing right in front of you and sometimes you don't even really see it because you think you're trying to pursue what you think you're. Supposed to be with. I think, and that probably is a lot of what registered so much this time because it was kind of that same thing. And I like that almost about movies and how we get into these movie discussions because it's not so much what's going on in the movie sometimes as what you bring to the movie.

Like I just saw the movie with... with Katie Heigl and Josh Duhamel, and I really liked it. It was cute. But, you know, the reality of that actually happening, of, you know, their two best friends passing away in a car accident, and they have to raise a baby, and they're both named, you know, I mean, cute, but you're just like, all right, okay, that's a cute scene. It was like scene by scene by scene where I felt like when Harry Met Sally was a little... It's just people make things too complicated nowadays, trying to come up.

With new ideas. How about just basic, like, you know, you end up falling in love with your best friend? This has that, I mean, that kind of hardcore core to it. I mean, yeah, that was one of those that I, you know, I got out of a relationship like a year ago, and that line that, like, I don't really miss him, I miss being. In a relationship.

And that was like. Yeah, it's like that's what hits you more than anything. It's like, do I want that back now? It was terrible, but do I miss the idea of it? And I think that's what I took more from this time.

It wasn't any of the comedy, really. That's when I was watching Billy go into that, and it was almost detracting from the serious end of the story, because I was tapping in more to be no surprise for most people the somber end of it that was a lot more of like just because to me it feels like a lot of the story because it's built as a romantic comedy. And it's supposed to be about them finding this. This romance over the years but almost half of the movie seems like it's more about surviving a relationship because both of them are coming out of these serious relationships and sort of this rebuilding stage. So it almost focuses more on them dealing with their relationship falling apart even more than, you know, them falling in love.

Until that last half hour. If even that, I mean, it's that, you know. And I just love, I love her face. I love after they have sex for that time. And she's just all mushy and into it.

And he's just like, get me the hell out of here. That's shock. You know, which is why I never sleep out. Because, you know, you don't ever want to be lying next to a guy. feeling that way when he's feeling that way. So i do like and again reading this time because usually you get that and even they bring it up as his you know all of a sudden he was suffocating but at the same time i kind of felt like he's got that look of what have i just ruined because it all it comes true too it's like you watch this you know years of friendship just thrown away at that point because they've slept together and screwed it all.

Yeah and i love that line uh i am the dog Is someone in this movie supposed to be like, I am the dog. I am the dog. I just, I just, is someone here supposed to be the dog? I just love it. I don't know.

I just thought she was so cute. She's okay. I think she, again, I think it works best that she was at the beginning of that. Yes. Because later she does.

Well, now she probably is annoying. you because you've seen her do it 800 times. But yeah and I don't know I think I lost track over the years I think I haven't watched a lot of stuff lately because I know she went into trying to be more serious by the time she hit like Courage Under Fire and she was trying to get like you know go a different direction interacting so I haven't seen a lot of the more recent stuff she might be doing something very different now but yeah she did fall into a very comfortable role for a. While My second choice for the movie would be Peggy Sue Got Married, so you could have had to do that one. That would be next time. It's been a while.

Since I've seen that one, too. I love that movie. It's been a long time. Jim Carrey. How great is Jim Carrey?

Oh, Lord. Is he in? Yeah, he's in there. It's been a long time. He plays one of the old boyfriends, and they go back to Union.

He's a co-cat. He's doing blow up in the upstairs. It's crazy. One of his first things. That was just actual footage.

They wandered in. But no, I just love the don't eat the red M & M' s part. That's the only thing I really remember from that movie. That was my favorite part. Don't eat the red M. & M' s.

Oh, what else? I will give Nora Ephron credit. I think this is really smart in the way that it's written. And even kind of just clever dialogue. I do like, again, just drawing back on the reality, you always get a date.

On national holidays. You know, that's what you fall back on. At least I've got somebody. This is my first year that I'm not going to be with anybody on, well... not a boyfriend anyway, you know, on Thanksgiving or. Christmas or New Year's.

I don't know what that's going to be like. I'm going to totally be her going and grading a Christmas tree all by myself, trying to put it on top of my car, trying to cut it off and get it inside my house. It's going to be a problem. Yeah, it kind of sucks. I think that's why I didn't put one on.

But I'd rather be spending it with my friends and happy than with someone that you're like. Ugh, I want to get out of this. You have to convince yourself that on occasion. Yeah, I know. In the grand scheme of things, it's better.

It's just hard to press yourself into that. It's true. I guess from the movie geek standpoint I do like the fact that they continually reference in the Casablanca thing so that it does become this sort of like passion versus practical like way of looking at a relationship and it's funny how she changes over the years like she starts off one way and then again I guess like we were saying earlier as time goes on you sort of readjust your thinking it changes everything it. Does love doesn't look the way you think it's supposed to yeah I think that's the big message that I think we're all we're all kind of sort of starting to understand in our 30s and it's not I want you. Know it's like I talk about this all the time but I want people.

To know that it's not lowering your standards it's opening up your eyes to what reality is. It's readjusting your state. Yeah, it's readjusting, you know, and things that are important to you are, I mean, I've always loved a man with a sense of humor, you know, and I've always said, you know, looks come after that, and that's still true, but the men that I date now in my 30s are very different. Physically than the men that I dated in my 20s. Yeah.

I find all sorts of, you know, sizes, shapes, ages, I mean, you know, I have that list of, like, Things that I didn't want. And then, ironically enough, people that I've dated in the last couple months have all of those things that I didn't want. Divorced, kids, different jobs. I mean, you know what I mean? So many things that...

Old or young, in their 50s. I mean, you know, I don't know what love looks like. I'm just trying to see if it's me. It also becomes harder to find people that aren't divorced and have kids. Yeah.

I mean, it's different when you're 19 versus when you're 30, 35. I mean, I actually feel like I've been preferring men that are divorced. Because if they're willing to kind of do it again... They've kind of. Been through it and lived through it and realized they're not going to die and getting married isn't.

The end of their life. And they know sort of what they're in for as opposed to being a kid and just getting knee-deepened. Especially, you know, I live in L.A. And most of the actors are who I usually date and I think that around the age where they're mature enough to date and think about it, they're in their late 30s, early 40s, and if they haven't been married by 42 or 43... that kind of says a lot so you know so it's like either way. You're kind of it's it's it's a little.

Tricky it's always a difficult game to play yeah it's never. Easy i could be 40 and single am i really going to be the woman that's like you know having a kid by herself with a with a sperm donor I mean. I think I've given up on all that. I have dogs now. I have dogs, too.

But, see, you're a man. It's different. Nobody thinks I am. Everybody still treats me like I'm, like, 19. So, if that helps.

Do you act 19? Not really, because I don't behave. I think I'm more of an old man at this point. Right. You feel old.

I went up and went to the room and. Went to sleep. So did I. I watched Julia Roberts' marathon and ordered steak and ate it in my bed. That's what I did.

I'm lame. That was my part. And other people were there, and I wasn't really interacting with them. Antisocial as I am. I am, too.

They all left because everybody was laying there trying to go to sleep. And they all went to another room and partied, and I went to sleep. That's why you look so young. Like, me too, because I don't go out that much. I'm sure you don't get treated your age either, so...

No. Oh, man. I do... I think if there's one thing that it plays heavily on in this movie as far as sentiment, the music it uses. Yes.

On one hand, it's amazing, but again, it's also like... This was. Probably one of the first times they'd done that, though. This was quite a while ago, so now you see it a lot more often, but it feels like it's almost like... shorthand it becomes sort of an easy move for them if you play these you know old school like romantic songs you kind of sucker people in even even without much effort it's like you're even if the movie. Was half as good as it was if you play.

Those songs over top of it you kind of get a little schmaltzy i'll have what she's having All right. I guess at some point we'll have to get to the most memorable scene in this, which I disagree with. I kind of had such. A bad feeling about that one anyway, and I went back and watched it. I was like, yeah, I really don't like this scene.

Yeah, the orgasm scene. And I think the reason why is it seems so forced. It does not fit her character at all. The entire rest of the movie, she. Is so subdued and quiet and reserved.

So why all of a sudden? I think it was more... Wasn't that Rob Reiner's mom? Yeah. Maybe it was just to get her a little piece in there.

It was probably. I checked into it, and it was one of those that... It just sort of came up. Like, they're already shooting it. It was one of those, wouldn't it be funny if?

So I think it is very much inserted in. But to me, it feels very forced. I know, yeah. It's funny, but it's not fitting in this movie almost. It almost needs to be in a different movie.

I do love their conversation when they get out of the car walking into the diner. And I love what she orders. I mean, that sets up everything, what she orders when she gets there. So that's important. Well in in general i think even the conversation up to that point i mean i don't mind them having that in.

There it is certainly a real issue. And so i mean it is something they could address i just the way that they ended the joke end of it quote unquote is a little. Yeah i agree all right i'll give you that oh man you know it's fine we started out like this ellen and i we had blank walls we hung things we picked out tiles together then you know what happens Six. Years later, you find yourself singing Sorry with a Fringe on top in front of Ira. Do we have to talk about this right now?

Yes, I think that right now actually is the perfect time to talk about this because I want our friends to benefit from the wisdom of my experience. Right now, everything is great. Everyone is happy. Everyone is in love. And that's wonderful.

But you got to know that sooner or later, you're going to be screaming at each other about who's going to get this dish. This $ 8. Dish will cost you $ 1, 000 in phone calls to the legal firm. Of That's Mine, This is Yours. Terry.

Please. Jess, Marie. Do me a favor for your own good. Put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you don't know whose is whose. Because someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's going to get this coffee table.

This stupid wagon wheel Roy Rogers garage sale coffee table. I thought you liked it. I was being nice! Then, you know, if you'll go with that one, I'll give you some good, you know, some good points. Some of the writing, again, as I said, baby fish mouth is.

Baby fish mouth. Baby fish mouth. Yeah, you don't see that coming. Baby fish mouth is sweeping the nation. Cool.

That whole scene of them playing the whole Pictionary win-lose-or-draw moment, which, again, was overwhelming in the 80s. Everybody thought that was the greatest game ever. It's still one of the greatest games ever. It's still fun, but it's funny how much that dropped off. You show that to kids now, they'd be like, what.

Are they doing? I know, it's true. It's gone. I know. No, it's true.

Everyone was obsessed with that idea then, so that part is just funny. The entire scene of them screaming out ridiculous things is funny. I like Carrie Fisher. She doesn't have much to do in it. She's dead.

But the someone staring at you in personal growth is a hilarious line, I'll give them that. And they fit so nicely together. Yeah. And I'd like, that's one, you know, as much as. I have problems with the relationship of the main two characters, I really like the Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby relationship.

It's like, as it unfolds, it really is. It's very real. Yeah. They seem like a very real couple. More so than probably our leads.

That's right. But yeah, and they seem like a pretty well-rounded. Supporting roles are always the better ones anyway. Yeah. They pepper the story, you know.

Yeah. It's a shame they don't get more screen time or get more, because even in the scenes with them separate, and I think that's kind of cool, too, that they sort of build these relationships. I love when that door busts open and he's dragging out the wagon wheel coffee table. Don't you say anything. I like that wagon wheel coffee table.

I don't know if she's talking. I did, too. See, I would totally have that wagon wheel coffee table. It'd fit in their house. Roy Rogers garage sale.

Where is this garage sale? I want to go there. But yeah, so I mean, I think it is well written. I think it is one of those that. Nora Ephron, I think Nora Ephron is a good writer, especially at this point.

I think she almost kind of one-upped herself. It's, again, been a long time since I've seen Sleepless in Seattle. I kind of like that one a little more, really. If I remember, and I think it's because it doesn't go so far into the comedy. Again, I think that one plays a lot more serious and a lot more just into the drama.

See, I felt like that was... a little bit less believable and. More of an idea for what would be. A good movie. Yeah, well, I mean, drawing on the old Hollywood idea. The kid calls in and, you know what I mean, tries to set them up and it's like, that would never really happen.

It gives us girls that watch those movies a wrong sense of what could really happen. Some sort of universal plan. It's just bullshit fairy tale. Yeah, it doesn't really work that way. I've given up on that universal plan.

Me too. But I think, yeah, I think... I kind of get that in this one, too, though. I think there's some, there's like, it's so back and forth for me. It's like there's moments that seem so realistic.

Yeah. And there's other moments. When he busts through the door at the party and like right before the countdown. I mean, every girl dreams of that happening. But there are, yeah, stuff like that.

It seems like they're moments that are in a movie. Yeah. And they seem very, there's very, and especially you get to the little montages and you get to them. Right. I love those.

The character building. It is one of those. Yeah. It's a sweet moment, but at the same time, they feel very, again, they're almost playing you on the sentimental thing. Much like the music, it kind of feels like, again, they know what they're doing.

They know their audience. It's, yeah, I just, I think I feel it a little more than I'm supposed to. It's like, you're trying to trick me. You're not going to make me feel. But yeah, I think Nora writes some really good dialogue.

I question some of her movies further on. Like what? I didn't realize some of the things. I had to double check. Let's see, what was the stuff I pulled up and went, oh, really?

She did, hmm, she did Bewitched. I believe she directed Bewitched. I think she did, actually. Yikes. I mean, maybe she was, I mean, like me, a huge fan of the television show and then thought, you know what, I would love to do this.

Oh, yeah, of course. The movie seems... Was that Nicole Kidman? Yeah. Who was that?

And then a few years before that, she did that Michael movie with John Travolta. That was way off, too. Yeah. I was like, she. Where he comes, where he's a dead angel.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. Again, could have been an interesting idea. Seems way off. Yeah.

I don't know. She takes a chance. She seems very hit and miss, but I think at this point in Sleepless in Seattle, she really had found her place and she really writes that stuff, I think, pretty smart. This was probably her best era, that four or five years there where she was putting stuff out. Stick with that versus Mike.

I don't know. Um, let's see. Which one? Yeah. It was her and Will Ferrell.

Right. Right. Oh, what an interesting choice. Yeah. I wonder if they were the first choice for those characters.

I don't know. Oh, man. So, I don't know. I think if I have... As much as I have...

You know, I like the supporting roles. If I have a problem with the characters, I think it is the main two characters. I think I have a problem... identifying with him because especially in the first half Billy's kind of a jerk I mean he really he comes off as a very jerky character but also and this goes on through almost the entire run of it and I think what I continue to have a problem with just sneaking around, and that's his thing. And he has no problem with that. And, you know, maybe it's, again, maybe it's a different mindset today, but I'm like, I kind of have no respect for this character now.

And so I have problems with his. Character because of that, because he's kind of a jerk. Through the first half of the movie, he continues to be a slut, basically. Right. And to the point where she says, you're going to have to move back to New Jersey.

But isn't that because. Most men like him that are as insecure as he is have a huge fear of intimacy. And that's probably why it's hard for him to see a good relationship. And he continues to go after women that are safe. Because it's easy and he doesn't have to actually deal with his shit, which comes up.

And he's just divorced. Yeah. I mean, that's why he's sleeping with all of New York. His plan. You know?

I mean, he probably was a good boy, got married, got screwed over, and now he's like, you know what? Fuck it. And he just goes and sleeps, which I have a lot of male friends that are divorced that are like, I'm going to sleep with as many women as I possibly can. And it usually starts with, like, 20-year-olds. Yeah.

And you're like, really? Yeah. Really? What are you getting out of that? Well, I know what they're getting out of it, but, you know, so I think that it's kind of fitting.

I mean, yeah, I don't doubt that it's somewhat realistic. I think I just have issues with the character then. It's somebody that it's harder to get on board with. Right. You should have played the pain a bit more than the being funny about it.

Earlier where he just where he wasn't sleeping around anymore because there's some sort of like pining for her that he doesn't acknowledge maybe but it is like laying there but um and then even with her i think she goes through so much of that middle part like so detached and it is real again it's a very real way of doing it because she's she's sort of bottling up everything and doesn't want to deal with it but it also makes her come off really cold and and like she uncaring towards you know their situation as well as everybody so it's until she has that breakdown and after that you can kind of get on board with her she seems like she comes to terms with things and she's more of a real person but that whole middle of the movie she seems so detached it's hard to be.

On board with her too it's true it's yeah. But i it's like i totally get that detachment though at the same time you know. I think i'm still in that I. Like to identify with these movies as much as I can. This one certainly has its moments.

So I don't know. I think in the end it's like bits and pieces for me. I think there's so much of it I think is good. And then there's others that I have huge issues with. But I don't think it detracts from the whole.

I think if you like these. Kind of movies, it's definitely one you can get into. But I think it's got something to offer. It's a good holiday movie. Is it?

I was depressed by it. Perfect holiday movie. Suicides go up around the holidays. You know, like. That week during Thanksgiving where people have off.

Like, one of those movies where you can get together with, and probably girls will do this, you know, I don't know, have your girlfriends over and sit and watch it. I mean, it's cheesy, but... It'd be fun to have like a Nora Ephron little movie night. I mean, should I watch, you know, Julia Roberts Marathon? I watch Notting Hill.

What a horrible movie that is. I've avoided that. Horrible. It's funny because I don't even buy Julia Roberts as a movie star in a movie where she's playing a movie star when she really. Is a movie star.

Wow. That's pretty bad for a movie star. I mean, I love Hugh Grant. Yeah. Menzies are so damn cute.

Other than that, the movie would have sucked. Yeah. I have successfully avoided that one. She's gone steadily downhill, it seems. Yeah.

Ugh. I don't know what to do with her. I did love Renée Prey Love, though. I don't buy that she's... And you pray love that she was, you know, broke and couldn't find a man.

I mean, she's freaking Julia Roberts. Yeah, you never know. But I like the movie a lot. I have not seen that movie. See, I could have made you do that one.

See? Is it out? Yeah, it's on DVD now. It is? I think it just came out.

I don't know. Maybe it's still theater. Probably Christmas. I think it's still in the theater. I'm out of the loop.

I'm watching movies from the 70s. Ah, gotcha. I'm usually behind a couple of decades. Okay. Oh, man.

So I'm trying to think. Anything else? Your grand thoughts on the movie, I guess? I think we covered a lot, actually. Probably more than I thought we would, talking about When Harry Met Sally.

Again, I usually delve into it on levels people probably don't even want to talk about. Well, this will appeal to everybody, then. Or nobody. Or nobody. I'm waiting to find out.

Let me know. They're probably still in shock from the choice a lot. Deal with it. Oh, all right. Let's see.

So we will wrap up the big sofa theater feature this week then. But I was going to have you, you know, tell people what you've been up to lately. If you want to spread the word on new projects. Sure. I'm writing right now with my writing partner, Brianne Davis.

And Cheyenne Quinn. And.... We are, uh, cause I'm, I'm wanting to direct obviously. So, um, I figured I, I can't, I'm not reading anything that I want to direct. So I'm, I'm finally going to write it and, um.

Got an amazing team of girls and, uh, it's basically, uh, you know, chick flick in the horror genre. Ironically enough. Did Frank ever happen? Yeah, we did Frank. We did mine anyway.

Um, rest did not happen. Um, But this one is like a first wives club. I could have made you do that one too. First wives club meets fight club. Okay, fight club among the women.

You know, it's sort of this like underground secret society of women that bond together under the name of sisterhood to take out other women that are ruining it and making it hard for us women to live a normal life and keep our men and keep our jobs. I don't care about the hoes and hookers. Those 20-year-olds that the guys were sleeping with? Nah. You know what?

Here's the difference is that I don't care about those girls because they're not really a threat. Those girls are short-lived. They don't even know what they're doing. They don't know. It's the women that. are smart, conniving, manipulative that play these men and men get wrapped up in them.

And then the men. That like the crazy, the girls that play the crazy that aren't really crazy, those are the ones I don't like. Because a woman can see through that in a second. And I want them gone. So, yeah.

So I'm going to start this movement across the world to make this happen because women that kill, kill brutally and are much smarter and probably don't get caught, which is why there's so much less serial killer women. But how do you really know that? Maybe we just don't get. Maybe we're just smarter. Unsolved mystery.

Yes. So a la Tarantino style, uh, you know, strong, badass, scary ass women. And, uh, Definitely some. Hardcore kills and thrills that will appeal to, you know, like the fucked up sex in the city, basically. Pretty much.

That's kind of what I want to do. I wish you didn't make me watch that one. Because we go watch that. I wanted to give us women that are a little off something. To cheer for.

Yeah. I don't have a problem with the ideas of what's going on in that. I think I just don't like the execution. Yeah. No, me neither.

I want to make them real. Make women real. I would be on board with the idea, especially if they start killing. Yes. Other women in really horrible, horrible ways.

It's like fights wouldn't you rather watch two women fight than two men fight men fight the same way they throw punches you know women do all we. Have to do all kinds of other things yes. Women are psycho so that's what I'm working on now and then I'm about to this year I'm just in the middle of doing Late to Rest 2 with Rob Hall who's a good buddy of mine the script is awesome so it's fun to be in that you know chrome skulls back in action Um, I finished a movie called The Victim with Michael Biehn and Jennifer Blanc, who are my buddies. Yeah. And, um, I'm about to go do a movie called, uh, Shiver with John Jarrett.

And, uh, based on a novel that is, this script is just fantastic. It's like a logical thriller. It's not a horror slasher film. That's a fine line. Yeah, it is.

This is definitely a fine line. And then I'm going to do a movie with my buddy William Forsythe next year up in Rhode Island called New Blood. He's great. We talked to him like a year or so ago. He's amazing.

I mean, he wrote this and is directing it. Oh, wow. And he's also in it, and I'm his star. He wrote it with me in mind, which is a huge honor because, you know, Bill doesn't really like many actors, so. I'm honored to have him like me as much as he does.

He's a huge, huge... He's an impressive guy. Yeah, so I'm bringing my A-game because there's nothing... I can't bring any less when I work with him. I think he would draw that out of you anyway.

Oh, yeah, which is why I want to do it. And so that's... It's sort of an eyes wide shut kind of vampire. Interesting. Really beautifully written and... hardcore and uh the story's great and it's just uh you know this this is this is a big deal for him so i'm glad.

To be to be a part of that definitely interested in that sounds good. And still working on horror gal you know working on getting getting that going it's i have to stop working long enough to be able. To do it we have a banner up on the site but that's all it is i just have it i have your coming soon banner up there. So i just don't want to i can't I can't do it until it's done right, you know? It's a lot to deal with.

Yes. I'm, like, lucky to update ours every six months or something. Yeah, that's how I feel, too. It's so much to deal with. Yeah.

I barely have time to, like, go. To a movie. And it takes, yeah, I mean, so much time. Just everything is so plodding. And, you know, it's like, for example, going, you know, both these movies that I'm doing now, I'm going to be gone.

I leave after Thanksgiving. I come back the end of December. Yeah. The 21st or 22nd, so I'll have, what, four or five days to, like, enjoy myself. And then January 3rd or 4th, I think I'm going to Rhode Island for.

Another five weeks. So when am I going to do work in a 16-hour day and come home at, you know, 8 in the morning after working nights and get online and update Horror Gal? You need to just stop slacking off. I know. I can only do so much.

But I am working on it. I am. Yeah. Oh, man. I guess Hatchet 2, where do you find that?

Hatchet 2, you know, we got pulled, so it's now the forbidden fruit, you know, when you guys see it. And I just beg these listeners to please, please, please don't download it and watch it on your damn computer from someone that brought a freaking video camera into the theater. I mean... Those look horrible anyway. I mean, it's horrible.

So, probably video on demand as well as DVD. I think Adam Green said 90 days from when it was released, which should bring us to the first week of January. Yeah. And then Stakeland will come out in February, which is, you know, such a huge deal. Good, too.

Yeah. Jim Mickles, just an amazing director, writer, with Nick D'Amici, and it looks stunning. I mean, shit, we won, you know, the Audience Choice Award in Toronto Film Festival for Midnight Madness, which is huge. We're up against some huge movies. So.

It's a little movie that could. And it's kicking ass. Yeah. So I'm stoked about that. And then I just did some facial capture stuff for Night of the Living Dead, The Origins, that Tony Todd and Bill Moseley and I are in.

You're involved in some good stuff, actually. Yeah. It's funny because people have asked me since Halloween, too, like, what have you done? Or whatever. And it's like, oh, my God.

I've been working so much. Everything takes time to come out. So people don't really understand that. So give it some time. But by this time next year, everything will be out.

Everything will hit. You'll be overwhelmed. Yes, hopefully. Oh, the only thing I wanted to ask, and this was based on last week, because I ran into you in passing last week. And then I'd say if my sources are correct, but I think my sources are you.

What happened with the sheriff's car in Kentucky last week? I'm obsessed with cop shows. I mean, I love the first 48. I love 48 Hours. I love.

To catch a predator. I mean, I love all of. These, like, real autopsy and Dr. G medicine or medical examiner. I mean, I don't know.

I think it's cool. So, that being said, if I was not an actress, I probably would do something. Like be a homicide detective. Yep. Which is why, I mean, maybe it's from doing movies as serial killers that I'm all about it.

It's warped your brain. I think it has. So, I set up a ride-along with the sheriff. who is just awesome, awesome, awesome. And I went to the forensics unit and went to the canine unit and. Saw how they train the dogs.

I saw all the dogs. They're really scary. Oh, yeah. I'm a dog lover, but oh, my God. When they were jumping eight feet in the air and spinning in circles in their cage, I thought, And I said to one of the cops, I said, do they ever get out on, you know?

And he's like, oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, great, mom. Sometimes. Oh, my God. You were wearing the giant suit at that point, right?

Jesus. No. Oh, my God. I could never. Oh, God.

And then, you know, did a little eating beef jerky, stopped at the little, you know, gas station until. 3 in the morning and. I just ran around and hung out and looked for hookers. In the snow. And it was just really cool.

I mean, that's something that for them, they're over it by now, you know. They said basically after two years, I wouldn't want to be a cop anymore if I decided to be one. And I was like, well, this is so much more interesting than what I do for a living. Which they beg to differ. Yeah, I'm sure everybody has a different perspective.

Yeah. I mean, it'd be cool to have, like, if I can get all of them to come to a set of mine. Yeah. And maybe when I direct a movie, I'll have them all be extras or something. There you go.

Not play cops. Technical advisors. Yes! That's what you need. Technical advisors.

Ooh, you just got it. Perfect. Didn't even think about that. There you go. See?

But, yeah, I just, yeah, I saw that listed there. I was like, okay, that's a story. I think we need to figure out what's going on there. Hookers in the snow. Hookers in the snow.

Oh, man. But I guess that was it. I try to fit in some fun when I travel. I work so much. I try to, you know, do a couple of fun things when I'm away.

Especially these. You're stuck in a weird city for a couple of days. Well, you don't ever get outside. I actually got a car then, and I was going to do a little bourbon crawl, bourbon trail crawl. Yeah.

You know, because you're like, well, what am I going to get a car for if I'm just going to be in my hotel room? Yeah. And, you know, I try to bring friends when I can. At least make it fun. Make it an event.

Yes. Otherwise, I'm in my room watching Julia Roberts Marathon's ordering steak, which is also good. It's better than some of the other alternatives. Yes. I've heard some scary stories about these places.

Oh, really? That's why I went to sleep last night. Oh, no. Things going on, I don't need to know. Oh, no, no.

Yeah, I can't watch any of that stuff. But I am looking forward to walking around now. I'm going to go buy a stun gun, actually. Yeah. I saw those yesterday.

I've been hearing them. I've been hearing them, and then I think they were testing them out on people. Fantastic. That should be interesting. Maybe they'll let me test it out on you.

Okay. Whatever. Just kidding. I'm usually game for most people. I'm sure I deserve it for something.

I would never. Oh, man. But, yeah, I heard them over there testing them, so it should be interesting. Well, that was fun. Thank you.

Definitely. Thanks for joining in. Together we're going a long, long way. In time there are Geese may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble, baby, they're only made of clay. Oh, but our love is here.

Oh, our love is here. Our love is here to stay. In 2007 director adam green brought us hatchet the return of the great american slasher and the birth of horror's newest villain victor crowley. Old-school American horror with buckets and buckets and buckets. Of blood.

But American theaters saw a censored version of the film. Now, in 2010, Victor Crowley returns to the big screen in the ultimate slasher sequel, Hatchet 2. And for the first time in over 25 years, a horror film is coming to major cinemas uncensored. Uncut. Uncompromised.

Gore like you've never seen in the theater before. More deaths. More carnage. More Crowley. Adam Green's Hatchet 2.

Hatchet 2. This part is old and uninviting Participants all in black and white You enter in full-blown technicolour Nothing is the same after. Tonight The world could fall apart in a fiction-worthy wind. I wouldn't change. A thing now that you're here.

Your love is. A bird here in my room. Here in my room. Here in my room. Alright, so it is Sunday morning.

We're now hanging around, sort of attempting to restructure this room. No structural damage. I already like rock stars. By rock stars you. Mean like what?

Like the Grateful Dead rock stars? The actual dead versions of them? Oh yeah, that's kind of how we roll. The problem is the great bounty of snacks that nobody wants. I should just go out and hug the maid.

I could tip her in food. Please take these Doritos. Thank you. It was interesting. It was something.

I want to apologize to all the other people that were hanging out here that we didn't bother to interact with. At least Misty and I are on social. I'm incredibly on social. Marlena, when she woke up, was quite social. Yeah, she didn't want anything to do with anybody in her room until they left.

Then she's like, oh, take me with you. That's not why. Come on. You saw me. I curled up in a little ball, and I slept for about five minutes, and then I shot straight up, and I was like, I'm ready to go.

Let's do this. Oh, wow. So, yeah, that's just how we usually operate, actually. There's even more window into our usual goings-on. That's the most active we are for a week, really.

You have to play hard to get to hold Marlena's interest. I think that's what it comes down to. Or just be there right when she wakes up. Ouch. Once you catch her after the power nap, it's all good.

But, you know, when she's sleepy, you're in trouble. Yes, I'm always sleepy. I pretty much always want nothing to do with anybody else. I like the part where Misty was getting really tired and there were too many people in the room and her eye kind of cracked open like a crocodile on the far end of a swamp. And I was thinking tomorrow morning there's going to be a horrific stain on the floor and a chalk outline and cops in here.

Yeah. I think somebody picked up that image. Let's all go now. Let's go somewhere else. I have that effect on people.

I make people want to go other places. Yeah, I think I was joining in on that. They were just like, are you okay? I'm like, I don't know. I'm just staring at this Rolling Stone cover.

How many times did I read, you know, Conan's back? I think Marlena had that check once to make sure I was still alive. He was staring blankly and not moving. It was creepy. That's what I do.

Oh, man. But yes, if nothing else, we want to thank Mr. Randy here for letting us crash in his room here. Thanks, Randy. It's great.

The internet told me that Chuck Norris wouldn't have made it through the night in here. Not that I'm... I hate those analogies, come to think of it. Chuck Norris related or otherwise? Yes, Chuck Norris related.

Yeah, I've given up on that. Actually, I don't think I was ever on board with those. Why specifically would Chuck Norris not survive the night in here? Because we're... Is he a redhead or because he has a beard?

I don't think originally he was a red. It all depends on what... It's got reddish tinted hair. It depends on whatever they staple to his bald scalp. Yeah, really.

Oh, man. Are there specific reasons as to why Chuck Norris would not survive? Because we're vicious and evil. We are. I'm not vicious and evil.

I'm like a cute kitten. It was entertaining this morning when you got all your plastic army men's and whatnot out after you woke up and laid them out on the bed. I had to organize and figure out which ones I had and what color and what. service they were in I had the army guys I had the firefighters and. I had the police officers and I had Indians and I had some. Cowboys if we could ever get socialized medicine you could get medication to clear that up awesome.

No she was dividing them up into ranks I understood I was excited by it. And then I had to organize my collar and shape. And job skill. Exactly. So, yes, this was all laid out on the bed this morning while Marley was still sleeping.

My favorite's the firefighter who has an axe. He'll hear I kill somebody. This is what happens when you get 40 skee-ball toys. I had 34 because the bitch couldn't count and it worked out in my favor. She couldn't count because she ripped me off.

If you have. 70 tickets and the army guys are five tickets apiece, how many army guys do you get? You get 35. I can't even count because I got 34. Nobody involved in this has any math skills, which is why I got two for my, like, 30 tickets.

I got scammed. I got your army with me. But I got a giant one, and he came with a saw. You guys want to play Gulliver's Travels or something? Probably.

I can lay the other ones around him. I do have one that looks like he's possibly Hitler. I don't know. He's doing some sort of goose step move. That was of the two I got, one of them.

That's funny. You say he's running. I don't know. He's doing a little Heil motion, if you ask me. He's running fast.

He's just a soldier. Could be a German soldier. World War II. We don't know, you know. Oh, Lord.

Any other activities for the week here? I really, I got to go downstairs because everyone's down there waiting. Blah, blah, blah. We're supposed to, you know, gentleman's guide, Will and Fish. Those guys.

Those guys. Those guys. Leaving for Canada. Yeah. So if you want to sneak anything back across the Canadian border, now's our chance.

Hmm. Except for the ones that were here last night. We love those guys. I know, I want to talk shit about Canada, but I can't. That's where my favorites come from, dude, seriously.

Mark Singer, Corey Haynes, fucking Shatner, Big Wolf on campus, Are You Afraid of the Dark? I can't hate Canada, but I still want to talk shit. About the nursery. Yeah, well, that's kind of our place in the world. I used to live in the Canadians.

And we were having a party, and someone was talking to her, and she's like, I've never met a racist person before. I'm like, Canada's so magical. Like, Canada, in my mind, if unicorns were to exist in the world, it would be in Canada. I know it exists here because it would fucking hunt them and mount their heads. That's true.

You would have one on your wall right now. I'd be going around with my little magical horn. I just feel like Canada isn't some amazing, beautiful place. How does this shit happen? It happens every time.

That's why I turn it on. That's why we got microphones, for God's sakes. All you have to do is turn it on and random crazy talk begins. You don't even have to turn it on. That shit's going to happen anyways.

Well, it does. Yeah, we missed a good portion of crazy talk earlier. You missed your story that involved the Ikea catalog. No, that was awesome. I think...

You can't have a story. See, that's why I don't need to get drunk. I mean, that was all sober. I sat here and came up with a 40-page tale... I took the Ikea catalog, and I decided because.

A tale of troubles and woes and hardships. Marlena said she didn't have a book to read, and I was like, hey, you've got this Ikea catalog here, and it has a story built right in. So the kid on the cover is this little kid with crazy cool hair, so I decided it was about him because he was on the cover. And then each page I turned it to, and there was a new entry into what was going on in his life. He got kidnapped.

He got kidnapped. By Judd Nelson's cousin. No, Judd Nelson's cousin had a creepy... Well, it was being creepy around a little girl... And then later there was a baby that got kidnapped.

And then that kid ended up back with his mom. And then his sister was on the floor and he stepped on her because he didn't like his sister. This was a pretty exciting tale. I'm going to go downstairs and check out. You guys can stay up here and I'll check back in with you once.

I've run downstairs. Chasing away even our favorite listeners. No, you're just, it's an Iron Man competition and I think I'm Aluminum Man. So I'll see you guys in. A little bit.

I just need to get the ball rolling on this. Goodbye, listeners. I can be unseated by anybody with an email account and the ability to type a sentence and press the word send. Trust me. Well, thank you once again for letting us conduct our show somewhat out of this room.

We do what we can. Anything else whilst we're in the room? I don't believe we've stolen anything. We didn't steal this waffle blanket that they gave us. Or the fucking heater blanket that weighs like 38 pounds and I'm pretty sure involves like 98 geese.

I don't know what the fuck's in that blanket. It's like putting that... It's like calling it a heater. I didn't like it. Oh, all right.

I guess we will wrap it up in the room here and maybe we'll check in further down the road. No. Don't be shy. Just let your. Feelings roll on by.

Don't be shy. We'd like to hear from you. So give us a call at 502-365-5565. Or you can email us at geeksatmoviemeltdown.com. And just stop by the website for our frequent updates.

That's moviemeltdown.com. On by, on by. On by, on by. It's part of your problem, you know, you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

And now, on with the show. Alright, we're back on the road after a nutritious breakfast of pancakes and grits and eggs and I don't even know what else we had. We had quite a few healthy items for breakfast this morning and But otherwise, we want to say thanks to everybody at Whorehound Weekend for putting up with us, especially Randy, who was quite the trooper to deal with us all weekend long there. Otherwise, thanks again to Dean, Danielle, and all of our Palover friends, most of which we just met for the first time today. So that was pretty cool.

It was good to meet you guys. As far as you guys playing the Movie Meltdown home game, okay, kids, get out your decoder pins. Dun, dun. It is time for Movie Mountain Secret Circularial of Possible Future Events. Set your pins to V2.

Here is the master. We're working on several projects here. If you'd like to play along, we're considering putting together a Thanksgiving episode centered around the wonderful Thanksgiving festivities. That is yet to be seen if we piece together something to go along with that sinister meal in the works. But we'll see.

Other than that, I would also go ahead and throw on the queue the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We may be discussing that in the near future and potentially with another special guest. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed.

Thanks for listening. Well I'm so tired of crying but I'm out on the road again I'm. On the road. Again Well I'm so. Tired of crying but I'm out on the road again I'm on the road again I ain't got no woman just to.

Call my special friend. You know the first time I traveled out in the rain and snow, in the rain and snow. You know the first time I traveled out in the rain and snow, in the rain and snow. I didn't have no fair road, not even no place to go. and my dear mother left me when i was. Quite young when i was quite young and.

My dear mother left me when i was quite young. When i was quite young. She said lord have mercy on my wicked. Son Take a hint from your mama, please Don't you cry no more Don't you cry no. More Take a hint from your mama, please.

Don't you cry no more. Don't you cry no more. Cause it's soon one morning down the road I'm going. But I ain't going down there. All by myself But.

I ain't going down that Long old lonesome road All by myself I can't carry you baby Gonna carry somebody else. I gave it to you for free. It's $ 2 for a DJ. You owe me? Oh.

Yeah. I got $ 100. This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.