197: Stay Away from the Pipe

Hey, Creeper fans out there. This is Jonathan Breck, and you are listening to Movie Meltdown. Good evening. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised.

Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian. I'm Lucy. I'm Misty.

And I'm Jake. And happy Halloween. This is the, what are we saying now? Third annual Halloween? Fourth annual Halloween.

I don't know. Let's see. Wait, we have to do the movies. I think this is the fourth. We did Trick or Treat.

I love that movie. We should do that one again. Halloween 3 and then Trick or Treat. So, yes, this would be the fourth annual Halloween extravaganza. I don't know.

What do we want to call this thing? Hoopla. That's what I'm going with today. A hootenanny. A hootenanny.

And as you've already asked, it can't be a Halloween episode without... Candy! I don't know if everyone will be happy. I know a certain person won't. Be, but.

Misty probably will be. What's we got in? That's probably for the best. What is it? What is it?

What is it? Candy corn. Hells yeah, candy corn. Is there any mallard pumpkins? No, because I didn't want those.

I love mallard pumpkins. But wait, there's flavors. Those are gross. Caramel and apple and original recipe. The caramel apple ones are gross, dude.

Too bad. Here, hold this so I can open this. So no candy corn Oreos for me? I gave you the option to pick a candy that was okay with your food sensibilities. I'm just a crazy vegan people.

The candy corn Oreos don't taste like candy corn. They're very disappointing. I was like, candy corn's like plastic anyway, right? Wax at best. I don't know why they need to use eggs to make plastic anyway.

These are not fantastic. Wow. Somebody gave me a recipe for vegan candy corn, which seemed really complicated and a lot of effort to create something that historically tastes terrible. What the hell you say? Even when done right.

Candy corn is fucking awesome. I love the mallard cream pumpkin. Give me that goddamn microphone. Those are the reasons I look forward to every year. That's why I keep on going with my life.

I love the little mallard cream... You know the little pumpkins? I was going to get them, but I wanted to try the flavors. They come with the autumn mix. Yeah.

You can buy bags of that shit all by themselves. Let me tell you, they're fucking little... little bites of heaven if I wasn't an atheist they're fucking delicious they're little they're like candy corn but like bigger and pumpkin shaped and you can eat a whole pumpkin and you can pretend you're a giant and be like I'm eating a whole pumpkin I'm sure everybody does that I do it's like part of me wants to like try to carve one but I know that would be way too fucking hard and I just give up and eat it you're special I am special did you get original recipe open no yeah They have a tear spot here. Yeah. No, you're doing it wrong. Can't I just slash things with the blade?

No. You're doing it wrong. You've got to follow the rules. I slashed that one too bad. No, hijacking the.

You know what this towel's for. What? Oh, the. Thanks. This, too, is a Halloween tradition.

Misty using her candy corn to make teeth out of it. Okay, that's actually kind of adorable. Hold on, hold on. Do you have a variation? The werewolf version.

Yep. Do you need the vampire option as well? I'm having original recipe now. What was your take on the other varieties? I don't know.

They all taste like wax. What do you want? I do not. I like them, but it tastes like wax. And, Lucy, you were supposed to bring your Gobstoppers, which I said were not Halloween candy at all.

Okay, I. Honestly, I didn't understand the concept. This is my first Halloween show. I thought that the candy was for watching the Halloween movie. That made sense to me.

That was a concept I could wrap my head around. I didn't know. Do we do things logically? Never on this show. So, yeah.

So you ate all your candy when you watched the movie? Well, again, actually I failed in that capacity also. Instead, I was like, actually maybe a glass of wine would be better with this movie. And so I went that route. Gosh.

No, it was just somebody that knew I had to make it through Jeepers Creepers again. Was it candy corn flavored wine? Did they make candy corn flavored wine? I would think they probably do at this point. They made candy corn flavored Jones Soda, and that was nasty.

And I still have some in my cabinet from like, how many years ago did. You buy that? I don't know, five, six, eight. I can't remember. It's closer to eight or nine.

Probably. Nasty. I drank it. I still have one of those in the can, and I still have a black cat licorice version of it. Whatever that one was.

I think they did. I think that's what they titled that one. That was pretty good if you like licorice, but I'm usually the only one in the world that likes black licorice. Because they're gross. No, I'm right.

It's awesome. All right. Yeah, the caramel apple is not very fantastic. I mean, it's better than the caramel. The caramel's funky.

So, do you want to use this as an excuse to discuss your favorite of Halloween activities, which is finding Halloween-themed foods? I guess we could discuss that. What was it this year? Was it the Oreos? Is that what we're going to talk about?

There's many things. Yeah, go for the Oreos if you're up for it. I was very disappointed. You specialize in the specific foods for Halloween. Well, we could talk about my favorite, which is the caramel apple milkshakes that they have at Steak and Shake.

How many are you up to now? I only have, what, five or six? Yeah, we didn't go this week. Last time I saw you, you were like, I've had three this week. That was the first week.

Well, we did go this week. Remember the. We went on Saturday. Yeah, the guy didn't get. Our order in in time.

Asshole. He forgot it. And then he put whipped cream on it. I specifically said no whipped cream, no cherry. But, I don't know, was there something else?

Ooh. I got Count Chocula cereal bars. I'm so excited. I just saw the picture of it online. I'd eat those.

Oh, yeah. Because I was very disappointed last year because they had the Boo-Berry Fruit Roll-Ups. And then they had Franken-Berry Fruit Roll-Ups. And I'm like, yeah, I kind of understand not making a Count Chocolate Fruit Roll-Up because that would be just nasty. Chocolate leather.

But they didn't do anything. But this year, they fucking lived up to it. And they got some Count Chocolate cereal balls. And I'm pretty damn excited about them cereal bars. Yeah.

What else did I find that was awesome? The Oreos were kind of disappointing. The Candy Corn Oreos. It did not taste like candy corn. They rank right up there with the birthday cake Oreos.

The birthday cake ones were just ass nasty, and I didn't even finish that entire pack. They got thrown in the garbage. I might make it through the candy corn ones. I like the numinos better. The numinos were nasty, too.

I like them. You're weird. I like Paul Newman. I did too, but he still wore cookies. I'll eat two or three bags of his cookies.

They were pretty good, actually. Yeah, I got his knockoff Oreos, and I expected them to be kind of lame just because they were knockoffs. They don't have enough sugar in them. No, they're pretty close to me. No, they're nowhere near.

If you like them so damn much, why is there still two bags in the cabinet? Because you know me. I forget there's food in there, and I forget to eat. I needed to be in sight. That whole out-of-sight thing is true.

It's like, oh, shit, I don't have any. And then I opened the cabinet, and I was like, oh, my God, I've got this. It's like peek-a-boo. Where'd Misty go? Oh, there she is.

That's exactly the opposite of how my mind works. If there's something in the cabinet, that's all I'm going to think about. It's like all of a sudden I have x-ray vision, and I know it's there. That's why I can't buy food to have in my house. Well, there wasn't any there when I saw it.

But, let's see, what else? Yeah, I tried one of the candy corn Oreos at Bo's drive-in party, which was pretty awesome. Aren't they disappointing? Yeah, I was just kind of like, well, first of all, it's one of the weird white vanilla cookies. Yeah, that's never good.

That's not a good option anyway. And then I was just like, well, it's all right, but it doesn't really taste like candy corn. It's got the same colors on the inside. I mean, the inside's got like the, well, it's got the yellow inside. the orange. There's no white on the inside because it's got like a white cookie.

But still, I was very disappointed. We have, yeah, we've gone with candy corn on this option. So we have original recipe. This one is caramel apple. And this one's just caramel.

Which is not bad, actually. I was very disturbed by the caramel. I'm going to eat this whole damn bag of candy corn. It happens every year. I was still eating my candy corn from last year.

I was so excited I found it in the back of the cabinet. I was cleaning it out. And this was like two weeks before they had Halloween candy in the store. And I was cleaning out the cabinet. And I was like, what the hell is this garbage?

I don't know. Something had expired. I'm like, I don't need this. I was like, holy shit, I got candy corn back here. Let's cut this bitch open.

Thank God it never goes bad because it's candy corn. And it was the autumn mix, so it had the mallard cream pumpkins, and I was hella excited. Happy dances were done all around. Well, what about the previously posted, if you're on our Facebook page, which you should be anyway, yeah, I posted on my page the Cadbury Halloween mix with green goo. Those things are nasty.

Have you not seen those? You know the Cadbury cream eggs, which are just disgusting and creepy to begin with. It's like somebody blew their snotty-ass nose inside of a damn chocolate egg. But I was like, if I'm going to bother to take a picture of it and make fun of it, I'm going to have to eat it. I'm not one of those people that talks shit and then doesn't have any idea what it is.

I'm like, I'm going to eat one. Yep. Well, I mean, it tastes like a Cadbury cream egg. So those are, like, there's no middle ground on that. You either love those in a weird, weird way.

Or you're kind of like, those are gross. I don't want anything to do with them. I'm one of the few that can just kind of eat it. I can take them or leave them. And really, I'd rather leave them because they're kind of gross.

But like every few years, I have to have one to remind myself what those weird things taste like. They're nasty. So this was my excuse, the green slime inside. And the green does not make it more appetizing, I'll say. Yeah.

Yeah, I've never been a big fan of those. And as somebody pointed out on the page, they're like, it doesn't even make sense. It's an egg. Why the hell is it at Halloween? So I still like my idea.

The tie-in should be only with the officially licensed alien tie-in egg. And then it would be green. Then it would make sense. And I still want some sort of... Actually, we were going back and forth.

I originally said sweet tart as a little face hugger inside of every egg. They would get wet and they'd get soggy. Okay. Then Jay said gummy. I said it might eat away at the gumminess.

So the option someone else mentioned the other day was it should be made out of M & M stuff. It could have the hard shell to protect it, and then you'd have chocolate inside. They win. That's the way to go with it. It should be.

Whether or not you can get an officially licensed M & M tie-in, I don't think you can. Probably not. But you can do your knockoff M & M stuff. Yeah. That's the way it should go.

Green goo. chocolate M & M like facehugger. I don't know. I think the gooey stuff inside would eventually go through the layer of M & M. Probably because it's not made to be ingested probably. I do like the Cadbury mini eggs though.

I ain't gonna lie. I wish they'd bring those out for Halloween. I'd eat the hell out of those. They'd have them at Christmas. It would make about as much sense.

Cadbury mini eggs are delicious. Alright, any other Halloween food items? I thought we'd go with our usual reminiscing about Halloween which usually means just talking about food and candy. Trying to think. Yeah, I don't got anything.

All right. Well, we can move on to our other fun tie-in here. Not only is it our Halloween episode, but this tie-in Halloween episode is coming to you live from Scarefest. Technically, we're on the outskirts of Scarefest. We're in our secret recording area.

We're not going to tell you where it is because we don't want anybody else to steal it. We've used it two years now, and so far, it's pretty awesome. It's like our very own Batcave. Yeah, yeah. But with windows?

Shh, they don't know where. They don't see us. They can't see us here. We're hiding. This year a table magically appeared, though.

Yeah, that's pretty handy. We kind of needed it. But we didn't, yeah, last year we were hanging out on the couch. So, yeah, it's a toss-up. But I like the table.

It's pretty handy, so. Do you want a candy coin? No, I don't like candy coins. You're recording. Whatever.

Okay. So, let's see. Do you want to have a recap of your scare fest so far today? Carl was not in the fucking house. I knew that was coming.

I did see Carl. Not in the fucking house. He was not in the house. He's tiny. I figured he'd be a little bit bigger by now.

Yeah, it's a whole new season. I figured by now he'd hit that weird, awkward teenage years. The kid from Pet Sematary is not any bigger, so why would he be? Nice. I didn't see him.

You might have looked over him. Damn. That was like a misty line. She's rubbing off on you. It's really sad.

It's really sad because I've only met you like once. So, let's see. What else have we done? Wandered around. I talked to lots of people.

I got free Skittles. We can... That's your favorite part. Again, candy. It's all Halloween candy around here.

Two packages. They were small ones, but they were still pretty good. So, we can go through... I like Skittles. We don't have Skittles.

There's no Halloween Skittles. I know. That's what sucks. We're back to that guy. He seemed really nice.

Maybe he should do a little hand game with it. He'll let you have some. I don't want to do that. He wants too much for his poster, too. I ain't paying $ 250 for a goddamn poster for Rich.

I don't give a fuck if it's vintage or not. If it's vintage, it sure does look new for vintage. You need a reprint. That's what you need. Yeah, I know.

A $ 15 reprint. That's what you need. Get the hell. Out of here. So we can go through the rundown.

I did actually talk to a lot of cool people this weekend. I didn't. You're antisocial. I'll talk to you guys. I'm surprised even that anymore.

And that one guy. That one guy. He gave me candy. Yeah. You'll do just about anything for candy.

Damn, Skippy. They were Skittles, dude. It's not like he was handing out fucking bubble gum or something. so let's see those are the worst i'm sorry. We we talked to a few i've got a few that i can run through little little tiny we were just sort of hitting people this year so we've got a few that we're gonna come back to later um yeah we're gonna come back to those later but of the little snippets we've got here and there uh i did talk to tony todd who's so awesome is awesome and very cool and uh we're hoping to rope him in for an episode down the line, because he is really cool. And he is not at all Ken Faree, even though I keep getting him confused.

You are easily confused. I am. No, Tony Todd's awesome, and he's got the voice. Ken's just crazy. But Tony Todd's voice is badass.

He traumatized me when I was a child. Well, he should, because that movie's awesome. I'm telling you, I totally made my grandma take down all the mirrors in the bathroom because of Candyman. I was petrified to go pee, so she had to take the mirrors down. I love my grandma.

She's awesome. She is a sport to put up with you. My grandma's the best. That's pretty awesome. So yeah, Tony's got a couple of things that he's working on.

So we were going to throw that out there and then let you guys hear about what he's got in the works. Oh, I love movies. That's why I do this. I didn't just wake up and say, I want to make a lot of money. No, I went, I got my master's in theater and film studies.

I mean, this is my passion. And, you know, my first film was Splatoon. So that entered really strong, and I've been working ever since. I'll tell you about what's coming up, though. Yeah, whatever you got coming?

We got Call of Duty Black Ops 2 coming, dropping November 13th. I have a full character in that. I'm the guy that sends everybody on the missions. And then in January, there's a film called Sushi Girl. It's my agent calling right now.

Sushi Girl, which has Mark Hamill in it. But, yeah, actually we talked to Noah Hathaway last year, and he was telling us about Sushi Girl. The theatrical release on January 14th, or 4th, Phase 4. I know your films. We're really happy about it.

We got a limited theatrical. So all the major cities, 12 cities, I think. So it's going to be fantastic. You know, and it's a good film. Noah is fantastic.

He's a good guy. Good guy. I'm going to sleep with him soon. Okay, wait a minute. Whoa, this is a newsflash.

Dude, you were there. I got the pillowcase. You're such a jerk. I got a Battlestar Galactica pillowcase. And it's got Noah Hathaway on it.

Well, I bought it at the convention. Oh, the flea market, dude. The flea market. That's true. So now that I've washed it like eight or ten times, it might be deemed safe to actually use because I'm like a mild germaphobe.

So I'm like, I got to wash it again. You might just mount it on the wall. I don't know. No, then I can't say that I slept with Noah Hathaway. Are you going to take pictures and post them?

Jay's like, dude, you have to put a picture of it and you have to say that and. Tag Noah Hathaway. Tag him because he'll think it's awesome. Yeah. He's very cool.

He is the coolest. It was cool when we talked to Noah, and it was a nice little tie-in because, yeah, we were hanging out with Tony this weekend. Sushi girl. We've got to go find it now, I guess. And let's see.

Who else did we talk to? Did you talk to E.T. 's mom? No. Did you go pee with E.T.

's mom? No. Lucy had the chance. In this ongoing series of running into celebrities in the bathroom, tell them about your exciting almost opportunity. It went a little like this.

She was going into the bathroom, and I said I could go in there too. And that was pretty much the end of the story. You could have been taking pictures over the stall, underneath the stall. We had so many opportunities for you to talk to her, and you seem to think that she's harboring some sort of personal vendetta and that it wasn't going to go over. Well no I don't think she remembers me at all but yeah I think last time I talked to her she was just kind of annoyed which happens a lot.

It could have been a bad day this could have been the magic day. But we already asked her about a whole bunch of stuff does she have like new stuff we need to talk to her about Is there like a new Howling movie? Oh, wait, there is. It's been five minutes. They've made another Howling movie.

It looks like it's going to be stupid. I'm guessing she's not in that one, though, so it's probably going to suck. Because her Howling movie is awesome. And I know she's not E.T. 's mom, so I don't want to get any hate mail saying.

She's not E.T. 's mom. That's a joke because we've made fun of people ever since then because the last time we were here and saw her, that was the passerby. Look, it's E.T. 's mom.

And I'm like, really? She gave birth to E.T. I was like, I don't think you were watching the movie real close. That's not how that went. I mean, what is the one anybody calling?

Oh, Misty's an idiot. I get that anyways. But I don't want to be called out for thinking that she was actually E.T. 's mom. And if the person passing by would have been, like, geek savvy enough, technically they might have been making a joke because I think that's how they refer to her in Scream.

Isn't that what the girl at the video store says? What's the horror movie with E.T. 's mom? I don't remember. So I think if they were cool enough, we would have said, you know, oh, they were.

But no, this person just seemed like a yokel and they were just kind of. Yeah. So we'll continue to make fun of them. Somebody discovered our secret spot. Get out.

They did, but they were very respectful about it. They were very quiet. They better be. I think they might have been on route to a secret spot. Maybe we'll go see what they're up to later.

So, yeah, we talked to a few other people. I think most of those we'll just save for future episodes. But the one that I wanted to get to, mostly because he was awesome, I did talk to Nicholas Vince, who, if you know him, you know him from mostly Clive Barker's stuff, if you're talking movies. He's in Hellraiser 1 and 2, the good ones, and he's in Nightbreed. He's the chatterer.

In the Hellraiser movies. Yeah, so he's really cool, and I was glad to get a chance to talk to him. And he's got a lot of other stuff going on now and since then. So we're going to talk to him about the stuff he's got going on since this movie. All right, so we're here with Nicholas Vince.

So you're in Nightbreed, and you're in both the first two Hellraiser movies. I think we're going to cover those later down the line on our show. But I guess, you know, you've since then got a lot of other stuff going on. So you are writing and you've done comics. So what?

Yes. I mean, out of when we were doing Nightbreed, the scene that's now gone back into the cabal cut where Laurie and Bobby is singing in a nightclub. When we filmed that, there were an awful lot of comics creators. Neil Gaiman was there. John Bolton was there.

And I just kind of and I was there. hanging out with these guys, and Clive introduced me. I started chatting to them and got on really well with them. They were bringing out the Hellraiser comics. Clive knew I wanted to go into writing, so he gave me the name of the guy, Dan Chichester, at Marvel, who was doing the editing of Marvel Comics. I organized myself a trip and just boldly walked into Marvel Comics.

I can't believe I did this. I just said, I'd like to see Dan Chichester. My name's Nicholas Ferns. I'm kind of like, waiting for 20 minutes, and suddenly this little intern came running out saying, Dan's really sorry. He didn't recognize the name, but he's really apologetic for keeping you waiting.

And I'm thinking, I didn't have an appointment. I just, you know, I'm just doing my bold as brass thing. And just kind of pitched the story to him that I'd written on the plane on the way over. Had you been writing before that? Only for my own kind of benefit and, you know, my own thing.

I always wrote, I think, a lot of teenagers find writing very helpful to kind of get all the emotion out in your head therapeutic it's very therapeutic and so on and Clive would always encourage me to write as well so yeah and as I said having been so closely involved with Hellraiser and then with Nightbreed as well when Dan Chichester relinquished control of the writing responsibilities on Nightbreed it was just great to be able to go in and play with this wonderful mythos for both the Hellraiser and the Nightbreed stuff. You know, that was just a great deal of fun. I actually, I didn't know until recently that you had written, because I was a big fan of that series and was actually reading as they came out.

I was buying those then. So it's, yeah. And now looking back going, oh wait, he wrote, I have that issue. So, but yeah, it's kind of interesting. And then is it something, you know, you, did they give you an idea of where the story was supposed to go?

Because it seems like that series in particular has so many, like, it didn't even run for a huge amount of time, but it has so many left turns where, like, the story will jump to a different character altogether, or the artwork will massively change. Yeah, no, so we had, when we were doing the Nightbreed one, yeah, the Nightbreed comic, particularly, I mean, Dan had taken it off in a very different direction with a whole new set of characters that weren't featured in the movie. It's fine. When I spoke to Clive about it, he kind of liked the idea of what I wanted to do, which was just take it as if we were writing a sequel. Okay, what has happened to these guys?

You've got Kinski, you've got Peloquin, you've got these really, really cool guys who are fun to play and write for. And there's some wonderful themes about monsters and Midian and the outcasts and so on. So I kind of wanted to take it into that and just kind of work with Clive and bounce ideas off him as to where we wanted to go. Because Russell Charrington, who is the director of the Cabal Cut, was saying that Clive had already mapped out the next three books, the next three movies for Nightbreak. So that's what I wasn't sure if it was having issues technically or with financial, like the company was coming in.

Because it just took such strange turns. Yeah, and I think because it also... You had one, Dan Chichester was writing Nightbreed for a while. He kept it going down one. Then you brought in other writers.

I think that was the interesting, because Nightbreed was supposed to be like a more regular comic, whereas the Hellraisers were definitely collections of short stories which other people had done. So I think you had the same similarities. To create a comic, you have to have people working. Either you're going to have the same writer, the same artist producing it, it's actually quite tough to produce that monthly and so on. So they brought in kind of guest writers and so on, which is kind of how I began.

But again, I really like that. Again, those are just such great characters, so I think it did welcome following them and seeing more of their stories. So yeah, I love those. And then you've written a book? I've written my first collection of short stories, What Monsters Do, which I'm really excited about because it's just, saying that I've now got my third five-star review on Amazon.co.uk.

Nothing on Amazon.com yet. I'm really interested to see what it's like. Americans, I know you're out there. I know you've bought the book. Let me know what you think.

So I'm returning after quite some time. I went away and I got myself a real job for many years. Those are no fun. No, those are no fun. That all came to an end earlier this year.

And I felt great. Now I have the chance to go back to doing what it is I love. So it's been tremendously rewarding. And as I say, getting some good reaction. So is acting going to come back into play?

I don't... I suppose my answer is never say never. I don't really see it happening. It's not what I want to concentrate on. And one of the reasons I left acting after doing Nightbreed was because I actually wanted to go into writing.

And I was writing about I had my own series running for Marvel UK. Warheads were on stage. I was contributing to the Hellraiser comics, the Nightbreed comics. I was doing some other stuff here and there, other bits and bobs. That kind of all came to an end fairly suddenly.

That's why I got into a day job. Reality, you have to pay the rent at the end of the month. I don't like that. No, no, no, I know. So I think it's, The plan at the moment is I've got What Monsters Do.

I'm working on the next collection of short stories, which should hopefully be out within the next month, probably the beginning of November, if not before. I plan to do another collection by the end of the year, May drift into January. It just depends how we go. To be honest, that's as far as I planned. I can see that far ahead.

I just want to see how those go. how those short stories are received, and then think about, well, is there anything else I want to do? And just take it from there. Definitely. What's the best way for people to find the book? Should they go on Amazon?

Just go onto Amazon. It's on all the Amazon sites,. co. uk,. fr,. com. It's there. Just put in What Monsters Do. It comes back.

It's available on paperback. It's available on Kindle. I'm working with Smashwords at the moment to get it out onto iBooks and Barnes & Noble and all that. But that's going to take a few weeks for that process to work through. And yes, eventually it'll be available in your local books, order to order through your local box.

But Amazon is going to be the easiest way to do it. At the moment definitely tell everybody to go check it out. As far as the Hellraiser movies the first couple were really good oh by the time I got to the end it was just painful like Hellraiser 15 I've There's another one, but it's not even got Doug Bradley in it. Yeah, that new one. I looked at the box.

I was like, who is that? Why would you do a Hellraiser movie without Doug Bradley? It's like doing a Nightmare on Elm Street without Robert Englund. Oh, wait. Because that went over so well.

That was such a good idea. So, yeah, thank you to Nicholas. He was awesome. And, yeah, he's really fun, too. I'd like to get him and have him sit down with us and talk movies sometime.

So we'll get that in the works, too, so. All right. Anything else you need to discuss in this Halloween retrospective of this year? I kind of wanted to punch that kid in the face. Which kid?

Fucking Carl. Carl didn't do it. I'm kind of wondering what his experience is like at these, because it's become a running joke. Stay in the house, Carl. Why aren't you in the fucking house?

There's even a song about it. It's an awesome song, by the way. So it's like, I wonder what, because everybody else, it can be in a kid. Like, all the adults, you know, they can kind of handle it. But he's a little kid.

Like, being thrown in the middle of this, it's probably overwhelming anyway. Then the fact that everybody there, within the context of the show, kind of hates you. Like, you've gotten everybody in trouble for many seasons now. Especially this last one. He screwed up everything.

Yeah. They all. Dale got killed because of you. I hope you're happy, Carl. Well, Dale was getting pretty annoying by then.

Yeah, Dale was kind of annoying. Self-righteous little bastard. I mean, you kind of needed him within the dynamic of the show. He's the voice of reason, but it'll be interesting this next season now that they've killed the voice of reason. Actually, I think that Daryl is the voice of reason.

He is the only logical and sane. He's the voice of logic. That's the only difference. I mean, seriously, I would trust Daryl to keep me alive out of all those people. I don't trust any of the rest of them.

That's true. Oh, no, I don't mind the sheriff. Rick. Rick's a cool dude. I like Rick.

I'm sticking with Rick. And Daryl. No, I'd take Daryl. Well, Daryl, you know, you keep Daryl. They're hanging out together, so you keep those two together.

The rest of the people, whatever. Yeah. Especially, what's the mom's name? She's annoying. Lori.

Lori needs to hurry up and get eaten or something. She's annoying. She needs to make sure Carl stays in the fucking house. She's not doing a good mom job because she ain't watching that kid at all. No, she's not.

But anyways, yeah, I mean, we've walked around a couple times at the convention. It's been pretty fantastic. I haven't actually punched anybody in the face yet. That's always a danger at these with Misty. I came pretty close, you know.

I keep waiting for those, like, jackass-y people, like the people that work for, like, the haunted houses or whatever, and, like, the jump of people, you know, and shit like that. She was doing that, some idiot walking around screaming. I saw like three or four of them doing it, and I just kept waiting. I guess I don't look inviting enough for that to happen. They know you're going to punch them in the face.

Dude, for serious. You've got to make eye contact with them. I do, but it's usually a glare that warns of the intent, you know. The look of doom. The look of, if you do that, I will punch you.

Think it through. All right, so with that, I think we should take a break here, and when we come back, we will get into this week's movie. Yay! Trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat for Halloween. Better give a treat that's good to eat if you want to keep life serene.

Trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat, trick-or-treat. The whole night through. Little scallow wags with fiendish gags can make it tough on you. So when goose and goblins by the score ring. The bell on your front door, better.

Not be stingy or your. Nightmares will come true. Attention, you will be buried free if you die during the horror chamber of blood and gore. Live on stage from Hollywood, California, see vampire people who come into the audience seeking fresh, warm human blood, plus Frankenstein in person, not on film. See the ethereal materialization of Liz Taylor as Cleopatra.

Free spirit photo of Liz Taylor to the first 500 boys at the box office. Free ID bracelets to all girls who can take the shock of blood and gore. This is so terrifying that the management is giving a free two-for-one pass to everyone who does not run from the theater in fright. See unbelievable terror on stage, not movies, every scene live. You must see to believe.

See the horror chamber of blood and gore. Hello, I'm Jim Cogan. And I'm John Wisby. And this is a promo for the Crash and Burn movie podcast. Every episode, we pick a theme and review three films each that we like, but fall within that theme.

And then we also take a classic B-movie or some other film. That's good for the wrong reasons for our so-bad-it's-great. Slot, and we rip the piss out of it. So that's the Crash and Burn Movie Podcast. Every fortnight, you can pick it up at www.crashandburnmoviepodcast.co.uk.

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Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Creeped Audio. Sounds better. Hi, this is Doug Bradley, pinhead from the Hellraiser Films. You're listening to Movie Meltdown.

You better keep listening to Movie Meltdown or I will tear your soul apart. It's time for Sofa Theater. Turns out you're a tweeter. Sofa Theater. What the hell's his problem?

Just get out of his way, Jerry! Let him pass you, Jerry! Look at what he's doing! You're on me! Get off the road and let him pass you!

He's nuts! I know he's nuts! Pull over! Pull over! Let him fucking pass you!

I'm trying! Jesus. Shit. What the hell was his problem? My first guess, inbreeding!

I don't care what the weatherman says when the weatherman says it's raining. You'll never hear me complaining. I'm certain the sun will shine. I don't care how the weathervane points when the weathervane points to gloomy. You gotta be sunny to me when your eyes look into mine.

Jeepers, creepers, where'd you get those creepers? Jeepers, creepers. Where'd you get those eyes? Gosh, y'all get up. How'd you get.

So lit up? Gosh, y'all get up. How'd you get that size? Golly gee. When you turn those heaters on.

Oh, it's me. Got to put my heaters on. Jeepers, Jeepers. All right, we are back. And it is time for Movie Meltdown Sofa Theater.

This week's Sofa Theater feature is Jeepers Creepers. The year is 2001. The director, the notorious Victor Sala, and the plot, according to IMDb, A brother and sister driving home for spring break encounter a flesh-eating creature in the isolated countryside that is on the last day of its ritualistic eating spree. So, with that, spoiler alert. Is it supposed to be its last day?

Because the sequel is supposed to take place. four days later on the last day of its reading. You also realize this is IMDb, which is never really accurate with their descriptions. So before we get into ours, you know who else we saw today? Jonathan Brick, the Creeper. Hells yes.

So we will open up the old vaults here. and see what Jonathan has to say about his time with the Creeper. I guess first off, what's the process like going into the makeup? Oh, my God. That's a good question. Well, most days of makeup takes about five hours.

The days when I have the open face, you know, with the fingers moving, that takes about seven, substantially longer. So the process is, and you can't sleep, you can't do anything else, because it's kind of interactive. You kind of have to help the makeup artist put it on you. So I get to the set around 2 o'clock in the afternoon and start. The layering process.

And about five hours later, I'm done and ready to get up, and it's getting dark, and I'm ready to shoot. And I go to work for 10, 12 hours, and it takes another hour to get it off. It makes for a pretty long day. That's crazy. As far as just.

Any stories from the shoot that you remember that are really memorable? Oh, you know, well, the first movie was just painful to shoot because we were shooting it in August in Florida. Naturally, the hottest place in the country, the hottest month of the year, and I'm encased in latex, you know. So the first one was just, I remember a lot of pain on that one, you know. And I remember getting bit by mosquitoes.

The only part of my body that's exposed is my eyes. and the inside of my nose and the inside of my mouth. Well, in the first film, on the extreme close-ups, I had to wear cataract contact lenses, and they made me completely blind. So one particular night, we're shooting out in the swamp, and I'm laying on the ground, and the man-eater mosquitoes come in, but I can't see anything. So I just hear them buzzing around. I know they're buzzing around my face, and then I start to feel them.

They're so bloodthirsty. They're biting the inside of my eyelids because that's the only thing they can get to. It was just brutal. Anyway, that wasn't a fun story. It's a painful story, but nevertheless, there it is.

Mosquitoes are assholes. Yeah, pretty much. Mosquitoes. Nobody likes them. I'd put them in faces if they were big enough.

I'm really glad they're not big enough because that would be frightening. Mansquito. That's the movie for you. I love the hell out of Mansquito. It's got corn nemics on it.

Shut up and screw you guys. Oh, but that was not. That was Jonathan. So thank you to Jonathan for hanging out momentarily and giving us his little rundown on Jeepers Creepers. So we've gotten his take on it.

Where would you guys like to begin? How excited were you, boyfriend, when you first heard we were going to watch this movie? Oh, I was tons of excited. I kind of knew that when we picked it. I hated this movie when I saw it in the theater.

And it's not so much the movie itself, um, It's just that kid. I want to punch that kid in the face. I want to punch both of him and his sister in the face. Justin Law. She's not as bad.

She's, yeah, I mean, she's... Her voice starts grating on my fucking nerves like knives after a while, and I want her to shut the fuck. Up, too. She's got an interesting style. I thought I wasn't going to like her, but as you get into it, I think you just get used to it, I guess.

I don't know. There's too much yelling and too much not knowing what the hell's going on and too much panicking and... Too much falling apart, and it just drives me up the wall. Other than that, I mean, the demon itself was pretty cool. I liked that.

Still was kind of confused, the fact that if he could fly, why is he driving around in an old truck? Because it makes that creepy. Well, yeah, that, and if he's a demon, he must be some kind of hot-riding demon, because he's definitely souped that truck up. It kind of reminded me a little bit of Duel, in a way, but. That's what I was thinking as I watched it, and I think the director even said, like, when he shot it, he didn't realize it, but he was watching the dailies back, and he's like, oh, my God, I'm making Duel.

Yeah, pretty much. I think the main reason for the truck was they explained it in the movie that he had to scare them. He had to terrify them, and that was part of the way that he would terrify them so that he could smell them. Yeah, because flying down on them out of the middle of nowhere is not going to scare them near as much as an old dirty truck. It might confuse them.

He ain't the fucking tooth fairy. It's not like he's going, oh, look at that guy. I wonder what he's here for. He also needed something to which he could affix his clever vanity plate. Oh, yes, that's right.

He had vanity plates made. So apparently he stood in line at the DMV and paid his extra $ 30 for his vanity plate. It was a good thing nobody else had that plate already taken. He just went to the flea market and got one of those fake ones made up. He can do most of that shit online now, so maybe he's got an internet and he does it at home.

I would think that guy's got internet at the church. Well, Eyeball Eater was taken, so he had to go for the beaten, whatever, license plate. I think that... Again, I think that's one of the things. There's a lot of things that work in this, and then there's things that don't.

And I think the truck part kind of works. Again, it's very reminiscent of Duel, but maybe it's just because that really is a creepy truck. And it does look kind of badass. And they did actually shoot it slamming into that car. And they said it tore the hell out of it.

And I did like the way that it first appeared in the film, too. I thought the introduction of the truck through the back window was pretty effective. It was sort of like that scene in Bird's. Yeah. Or the sigh of evil, whichever you wish.

It came out of nowhere. I do like that the, because they never really went into that, that the motorhome behind them just got the hell out of the way, just turned off because, like, they knew to steer clear of that. So, I mean, maybe it is one of those that everybody around there just kind of knows, stay away from that truck. Oh, no. I was kind of aggravated that the bitch couldn't drive her own car properly.

Yeah, I don't buy the fact that she would own that car because she's too much of a ditz. She can't drive her own damn car. She can't drive a stick shift, much less own that car. Maybe Mr. Pollack's eye got it for her.

I don't know. I don't buy that either. I liked that underdeveloped character that somehow also, like that scene where he says, Where there's like, what happened between you? What did he do? And then he says, beating you?

And then she gets all quiet and you're like, oh wait, is this going to go someplace? And then it never goes anywhere ever. It was one of those, I think they were talking about, she was working that kind of stuff in. She was talking about how much personal research she did as to how damaged this character was all on her own before this story starts. Some of which, I guess, has to do with Pali Sai potentially, possibly beating her.

I don't know, but Is. It going to be the spinoff movie? Is it going to be the prequel, the Poli-Sci beating Trish movie? This doesn't sound good at all. I don't like this movie.

It'll end with the Creeper eating them. What's he doing? What the hell is that? What the hell was he doing? He dumped something down that pipe.

Wrapped in a sheet. Wrapped and roped in a sheet? Wrapped and roped in a sheet with red stains on it. Just get us out of here. Grab my cell phone.

Where? It's in the gym bag. jesus oh you gotta be kidding me. If we're doing stuff that works and stuff that i think was probably one of the most effective scenes in the movie is just that shot as they drive by with him throwing stuff like when he stops and looks at him is that creepy moment of oh shit it's kind of that same feeling you get when you're watching the the the special Bigfoot film, and Bigfoot, for that second, stops and looks at you. You know, he could just be walking by, but when he stops and looks at you, you're like, oh, shit. I think he saw me.

You kind of get that with the Creeper. You're watching him, you're watching him, and it's that very end part where he stops and just looks dead at him. I don't know. It's effective. I mean, I would wave.

It's okay, dude. We didn't see anything. Didn't see nothing. Keep dumping bodies. I mean, whatever.

I knew it would piss me off. What? Let's go look in the pipe. Yeah. Let's go have a little look-see.

Well, my problem before that was, what church has a giant pipe running down the front? Like, what is that pipe in any practical, other than a place to dump your bodies? Maybe the creeper installed it himself. Maybe he installed it. Maybe he was doing some home modifications.

But again, why would you put a giant pipe? Lucy wants to talk. Hold on. I'm finished. Am I bringing the rest of this point up?

I was trying to finish mine and hand it to her. So, but why would you put a giant, but like if he's dumping bodies there, isn't it really obvious where you would be dumping the bodies? This giant pipe you install? No, it's for drainage. Drainage.

I didn't see any like. It's like three or four feet off the ground. I didn't see gutters running to it. I don't know about this. It floods in that area.

It's Florida. It's swampy. I don't know. I thought that was just weird. It's effective for that second, but then if you stop and think about it, it makes no damn sense.

Are you handing it to me now? I still. I've already forgotten what I was going to say. Thank you, Misty. I appreciate you having my back.

But speaking to the pipe, I didn't understand how all of the bodies had such rolling capacity. Like, he went down it, and he just went thud on his back, and you could see him from the top. I don't understand why it just wouldn't have piled up bodies. Well, they were bundled up, you see. Oh, for maximum rolling?

Yeah, when you're rolling down a hill, they were bundled up. Their arms were on the side, so there's not a lot of flailing. Okay. Then actually, no, I'm really cool with the movie. It seems like a really realistic depiction of life in the South.

Well, the guy was still alive when he was wrapped up. Maybe he inched his way over there. But there were other bodies, too. He pushed them. They all rolled.

I'm picturing him doing a little inchworm thing across the floor. It's kind of fun. Either that, or it's like that perpetual motion thing with the balls, because one of them slides down and hits the whole row of them, and then that last one kind of rolls off, you know, and as they come down. They shoot. You know, and It's like a trick shot.

It's like croquet? Yeah, it's like croquet. Yeah, it kind of bothered me, like, speaking to that part where you're like, why are they doing this? And then they were like, no, it's okay, because we're going to have this metacinematic moment where we're going to say, hey, we hate it when characters do this in a movie, and then we'll acknowledge that we're aware of it, and then it'll be okay. And it's just like, no, it's still not okay.

That part killed me. The mentioning, I mean, there's so few movies that can do that. I'm like, you're not Scream. You can't, like, there's only a few movies that it can acknowledge, this is what happens in movies, and we're in a movie, you know? There's a few that can structure it that it doesn't seem very forced, and that one seemed very forced.

Yeah. I would have punched him in the face. Stupid ass. I want to look back at that. What the fuck's wrong with you?

You would have got left there. You were walking home. And for him to want to go back, like, I felt like that was something they could, like, if he'd been like, I think I saw that body move or something. But no, it's just like, what if it's a lie? Yeah.

He doesn't seem super heroic. I don't know why this moment he decided to be. What if it was you? I wouldn't be in that situation. So fuck you.

Don't try to play that. I'd hope somebody goes for the police at this point. That's what I would have said. I'm like, well, let's just keep on going. We'll get to the police.

Because I mean, bye. not going to the police first, and going investigating, they fucked the entire thing up. Yeah. Spoiler alert, because by the time they told the police, the guy already knew they were there, and he. Burned the place down. Yeah, I was going to say...

Exposed of evidence, but you done gave them the whole thing. Well, we already threw out the spoiler. It's 2001, and you should have seen this. Yeah, I'm sorry, but if it's 2001 and you haven't seen it yet and you're worried about spoiler alerts, then. Yeah, and then they got that poor cop killed who may or may not have been a romantic interest in another strange subplot that started and went nowhere.

Because she kind of liked him? No, he looked like a strip of cop. Well, then when you get that moment of, I think we should go back. I think we should see. At that point, I kind of went, does anybody else hear the Scooby-Doo theme kicking in?

It just seemed like these kids are going to go investigate a mystery. I was just like, what? Were there rats in that? Anyway, never mind. I mean, how did they give that, like, seven-foot jump?

Two more rats? Ladder rats? They had a ladder. No, they constructed a ladder. Out of dead bodies?

Well, no, you saw all that crap that was laying around in there, like bottles and jars and stuff and sticks. They made a ladder. They MacGyvered that shit? Rats are pretty ingenious. They're very ingenious.

They're rats. So then, okay, he ends up down there because he's freaking out and he's kicking his feet like he's a little girl. and slides down there. That's the thing. I was like, okay, you made them go back. You climbed in the pipe.

You made her hold your feet while you climbed in the pipe. And then you flailed like a bitch. You flailed like a bitch, fall down there, and then yell at her for dropping you. Okay, I actually did like that moment. And no, just in terms of brother-sister dynamics, I actually kind of liked all the stuff that happened.

At that point, I was like, oh my God, I'm so fucking glad I don't have a brother because I would fucking kill him by now because they seem really fucking obnoxious. That part was probably realistic just because it sort of had that, you know, brother-sister interaction. They did have that. Like, it was annoying in that first 20 minutes when they set that up, but they set up pretty realistically. Like, they really did kind of seem like they could have been brother and sister, and they did annoy each other pretty convincingly.

They annoyed me. Well, yeah, they were convincingly. They were annoying the audience as well as the downside, I guess, but it did come off convincingly. So how about the birds? Fucking birds.

I hate birds. But they were laughing birds. I like crows. They're okay. They were laughing at you.

I just don't like mocking birds that sit above the tree and shit on my car. Old fucking bastards. Oh, Lord. Apparently indestructible, too, because little BBs don't take them out. I'm going to start breaking out the gun next.

I like the birds, but not as near as much as I like the cats. The cats were my favorite of the whole film. Oh, yeah, the cats. And Crazy Cat Lady. Yeah.

Eileen Brenner. Beautiful. Yeah, that's almost a name. They sort of got a recognizable actress to come in and be Crazy Old Cat Lady. Yeah, and I like that you could just recognize her from her voice, too.

Yeah, pretty much. So we get the villain in this is almost like three stages. He's like the... evil truck for a while and then he becomes sort of like crazy serial killer dude in the middle section there so it's like i don't know what were your thoughts in that that middle area where he's just sort of a crazy killer guy that we assume. He's too crazy to be a serial killer. He's got a whole little workshop down there and a hell of a lot of dead body.

Yeah he's too crazy he needs to be more subtle he needs to be mowing people's. Yards like our serial killer yeah You'll have to go back a few episodes to hear that one. If you're not familiar with that, yeah, there's a whole backstory there. Go back to the Wonderfest episode. I don't know.

I guess it crosses over into that. I guess because I like things that are kind of believable. to some degree and I guess it's more scary to me when it's just you're out driving and somebody just some crazy guy is coming after you and you know they're just insane and then you cross over into that oh it's some mythical being. Yeah it's not scary to me because I know I can just put a bullet in their head and it'll. Be over with but I think again I think that's why that shot at the beginning works so good because you get that shot of him looking at you And then he just immediately gets in the truck and you've seen that truck. It's like, he's going to catch you.

It's like, what the fuck do you do now? It's like, it is an effective moment. That's something that could happen to you. You know, you could get chased by a serial killer. You're not going to get chased by some face eaten wing man.

You don't know. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. It did kind of feel like they were like sort of shooting it as they wrote it. Like, okay, here, well, we wrote this or, okay.

Yeah. More to the point. Um, like, it's like, they were like, okay, well now we'll just run over him a lot. Well, wait, but he has to come back. They can't come back from that.

Well, what if he's like a mystical creature? Like, I don't know. I just felt, I don't know. Were they, were they winging it? Oh, lame.

He had already shown his wings at that point. They, that, I mean, some of that is true. Cause I was watching where a bell was ringing. That's a different holiday special. Clients did not end well.

So I think they had actually, I saw that he did bring up that is a little bit true because I think in the original way they wrote it, you weren't supposed to see him in his true form, wings and all until the last scene. And then they did the full makeup for it and the director... I'm like, oh, shit, we already had it on there. Well, no, he saw it and really liked it. He was like, oh, that's cool.

I don't want to wait until the end. I want you to be able to see the monster throughout the movie. So they did sort of adjust it in there a lot sooner into the plot than originally planned. I know that. Well, the monster was good.

I liked the effects on that part. I mean, he looked scary. He looked good, either as crazy serial killer guy in a trench coat. Or. wing demon creature whatever it is he's playing you know either way the the effects on it looked good um. That's one thing i'll give i mean it as it goes on i don't know there are sort of plot issues but just for creature design like i really have to give him credit for coming up with a pretty cool creature and doing a great makeup job.

Pretty original at that yeah i mean after a while you just start hitting on the same characters that sort of like well, that's just this character, except for he's got a horn here. Yeah, I mean. Oh, that's not a horn. The face looks a little closer to some other ones, but the body is pretty cool. Yeah, it's a little predator-y, and it's...

There's a couple others. What was the Wishmaster guy? Because his face sort of, he sort of looked like that too. But then he had the face thing. Yeah.

You're like, what? You get into the body and it's sort of like reptilian, but then he has giant bat wings and he's a gargoyle or whatever the hell he is. Armored, but a demon. And he's just kind of like, but then he works on cars and, you know, and he does plumbing, you know. Yeah.

He's a multi-talented creature. He does sewing. Yeah, and he sews. He is a sewer. And he does taxidermy, too, as well.

He is very damn talented. Gotta give him credit for it. He is a man of many skills. A demon of many skills? A man demon.

A D-man. If it was a female, would it be a D-woman? No, I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure what it is, though.

I remember when we watched... Where was it? Because I remember watching this when it first came out. Was it on VHS or where did we end up seeing it that first time because we need to have a sidebar on the tiger. Guy there's this guy walking around first i thought he was like had his shirt open and then he was like really kind of hairy but like it was like like stripes closer You could tell it was a huge tiger face on his shirt and not wearing it ironically.

That's my thing. I was like, if he was wearing that ironically, it would be... I would want to punch the guy in the face. But. Oh, that cunt just let the door open.

But yeah, the fact that this dude did not seem like he knew what was going on at all. So I guess it makes it okay. If you want to just wear that for the sake of wearing that, I guess it's all right. If you're wearing it because you think you're cool, you're a hipster douche and I don't like it. He's pretty jealous, you know.

We should all get one. This guy legitimately thought, that was a cool shirt. I'm going to put this on. I'm going to wear it all at the same time. He had one of those guts that kind of accentuated the tiger's nose.

3D tiger? It's the scariest Halloween costume you've seen all year. It's pretty awesome. Anyways, back to what we were talking about. I don't know.

I remember seeing it the first time and really kind of liking this movie. In re-watching it, it seems a lot cheesier. Like, it has effective moments, but I don't know. What was your thoughts on re-watching it? I guess I had kind of the same feeling.

I didn't hate it the first time, so I didn't hate it this time, I guess. I mean, I was still annoyed by... Justin Long's character, and I severely was glad when he died. I'm sorry if I just ruined it for anybody out there, but whatever. They already threw out the spot.

I know, but I'm sorry. It's their own fault. I know it is their own fault, and damn you all for making me apologize. But, I mean, I felt, I guess, the same as I did before. I mean, it was a good concept.

I mean, at least not really original, because it's like so many parts of so many other movies kind of thrown together. Yeah. Trying to act like it's original, but I mean, it's still, I like those kind of movies, so it's still, it's not like I'm complaining or anything, but. That was a little bit, I was a little bit more able to sit through the movie and not be as annoyed, because I think the first time I saw it, I saw it in the theater and I was just completely annoyed at the kid. Just in love.

And the fact they couldn't drive and the fact that they were panicking constantly and I was just like, I wanted to choke both of them. That's how most people would respond. But then I just, On this one, I tried to watch it for the movie and not get too caught up in getting aggravated at stuff. I didn't like that his name was Derry. Are you a fucking milk product?

What is Derry? I know it's short for Darius, but still. Daryl. No, it's Darius. It's on his underwear.

Okay. Jesus. I didn't look at his underwear. Sorry. I liked that moment, actually.

That was a funny moment when it was, in fact, pink. And now he knows my name. And now he knows my name. Yeah, I don't hate Justin Long. And actually, when this film came out.

I don't hate him either, except for this movie. Well, there were a lot of people that liked him when he came out. And that's fine. I understand. He was in some other...

I guess he had some other acting roles. I don't know what it was. Like, okay, he was in Galaxy Quest. Yeah. He was a good character in Galaxy Quest.

I didn't want to punch him in the face. But this one, for some reason, maybe he reminds me too much of maybe somebody else that I know that I just want to punch in the face. He's pretty likable as a person. But, yeah, in this, I mean, he is like that whiny kid brother that everybody's annoyed by. So, I mean, I guess it's effective, but at the same time it works a little too well and you are genuinely annoyed with him.

When I first saw it, I saw it in the theater as well, and I think I remember actually liking it. I think I remember being surprised at how much I liked it, and I think what was missing this time was the theatrical experience. I think it was so much informed by the people screaming at the screen that when you didn't step up to the plate and have that reaction last night, it was disappointing. I was busy going to sleep, like most movies I watched. It wasn't even wrong turn.

I'll go to sleep on any movie. I don't care. It took multiple viewings. I made it through. That's usually my strategy.

Did you ever actually make it through Wrong Turn, though? No. I'm saving that. We need to do a whole episode on that one. So you can sleep through it?

I love that movie. You can get a good nap in. So you wanted me to scream a lot, is what you're saying. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you.

Or just say, don't go in there. Actually, you need my mom for that one because my mom's really good about the whole, she's the little Asian woman that watches the movies and is like, don't go in there. That person's going to kill you. You're going to get stupid. You're going to get killed.

You're going to get killed. Oh, he got to walk. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, it's in the water. Yeah.

These are different movies. I don't care. Is she going to go out with him? Look at him. She shouldn't go out with him.

He's a bad guy. She doesn't know that. Why are you pointing at me? I'm not a bad guy. No, I'm just saying.

Well, this one would be like, Don't go in the pipe. Why is he going in the pipe? Yeah. Don't go in the pipe. Oh, Lord.

So, I don't know. Maybe that was part of it, was the whole, I don't know. I also think there's been a lot built up over the years, and he's turned into a legitimate movie monster now. Like, you really, again, we just took our picture with him at the convention here. So, it's like.

Not actually him, just some guy in a car. But in general, it's like you see people dress up as characters. I don't want anybody to get their hopes up that the Creeper was here. Well, the Creeper was here. But we didn't get a picture with him.

We got a picture with some guy in a Creeper costume. It's not Jonathan Breck. In the costume. But we did talk to Jonathan Breck. But it's not the guy in the costume, which I just thought it was fun that there was a guy dressed up as the Creeper.

And it's not the actual Creeper because it hasn't been 23 years or whatever. It has not been 23 years. Or two days or four days later from sequel time. Because the second movie was recorded, what, 2003, 2004 maybe? That is not 23 years later on the 23rd play.

Because the next one is supposed to take place right after the first one. So it's like four days later. That's supposed to be the last day. Well, then wouldn't that be the... 2003 is Jeepers Creepers 2.

They're making a third one. 19th day. They're supposed to be. He said when I talked to him, it was with MGM, and MGM got all screwed up, so that totally derailed Jeepers Creepers 3, but it was still in the works is the last I heard. I'm already aggravated Jeepers Creepers 3 because of the Wikipedia description of it.

Because in the third one, it's about Trish. Apparently the girl comes back, and she's still playing Trish. And apparently she has her son, who she has named after her brother. And his name is Alan. Alan S.

I'm like, Alan S. Darius? Darius. See the S? Quite a stretch on that one.

I was like, what the fuck? But is he 23 years old? Then it would almost make sense. Or maybe 21. Maybe they're skipping that two never happened.

It's got the hunters that were in the second one. Maybe they're hunting it while it sleeps. That's the best time to get it. I never see it coming. That's true.

What hunters? That are from the second one. Ray Weiss. I didn't watch it. He was a farmer in the first one.

I didn't watch the second one. It was stupid. Don't watch it. I'm not going to. I have not heard good things.

I don't even remember watching the second one. I remember. We watched it. Yeah, the second one was lame. It had a bunch of high school basketball kids.

Don't look at me. I didn't watch it. On a bus. God. And it was picking them off in the bus.

Maybe I just blocked it out. It was stupid. But it had Ray Weiss, and I love me some Ray Weiss. Because Ray Weiss is awesome. So is Ray Weiss.

I do think what's different about it. You look like you don't believe me that very well. You're just like, no, he's not. What I think's different, I mean, usually with these kind of things, it's like everything takes place with just like the kids and even if it's just like a serial killer, it's always like the serial killer and the victim and they... like try to bring the police in and it never works out or they can't get to them or the police don't believe them or like this one, it's just like cops versus creeper. Like it's right there.

Like they don't hide it. They all see the monster. They're fighting the monster. They're shooting the monster. Like it's, it's different than, I don't know.

That is kind of different than most movies of this type. That one part pissed me off. They were all standing there. They all had their flashlights. None of them could fucking manage to point the damn light at the monster.

It's like, they're all like, Well, it's. The same people that try to hold your flashlight when you're working on the car. No, no, over, no. Damn it, I'll just do it myself. But there's like ten fucking police officers, and they're all standing around, and none of them can let their.

There's light shining everywhere. But even when the monster is there eating their friend, he's relatively stationary for however long it takes you to eat a heart. I don't know. Oh, I can tell you. Anyways, they're there, and it's like they're shining it at the guy's feet or something.

It's retarded. Well, at that point, he's just some guy wearing some whacked-out body armor. On meth. On meth. I don't know.

I mean, there are several. That's one of those, again, later on when they're like, they also, like, after that first time, they still come back and go, it's not like watching a movie. How many times can you make this self-referential horror movie comment? Like, it's bad enough the first time. You can't keep coming back to it.

Yes, you can. They proved it. They do. All right. I don't know.

They just need to get over that and stop putting those in there. Only certain movies can pull that off. I need you to listen and not talk, okay? Truth be, I'd be lying if I said I knew that telling you this would. Do any good.

Any good? What does that mean? Every 23rd spring, for 23 days, it. Gets to eat. You know what it eats, and don't you make me tell you.

You think I like having this in my head? Well, I don't. I don't like knowing this. And not knowing it. why I do. You said it eats?

Only certain things. From certain people. Just get away from her, Darian. It eats lungs so it can breathe. And eyes.

So I can see. It all becomes a part of it. Whatever it eats becomes. A part of it. I don't know.

What were your thoughts on the whole wrap-up as it goes into the backstory and the cop fights and all of that stuff? Which wrap-up? Towards the end of it? Yeah. As he becomes more of the mythical creature that they're battling.

I don't know. The part where he flies off, I kind of I was kind of thinking about the Wizard of Oz when the flying monkeys kidnapped Dorothy and her little feet are like dangling down. I expected to see, yeah, I expected to see his little feet dangling down, but they weren't. When he's in the full mode, he is sort of like kind of Harryhausen, which I think is what they were legitimately going for was sort of some of his old monsters kind of jammed into one big thing, but. It looks good.

Again, I like the creature design. It's just, I don't know. There's something a little off about the, I mean, is it just kind of silly by. The end of it? I was a little confused.

I felt like they had an open head shot. I didn't know why we spent so much time with the girl pleading, take me, take me, and we didn't just shoot the monster in the head. Exactly. Or why they do the whole take me, but that doesn't come into play. I don't know.

He doesn't want her. Is it just supposed to show what a great sister she is? Well, yeah. A sacrifice. Are we also working under the assumption that the monster can speak English?

That he's... He can understand and is rational. I guess he does. Have a vanity plate. He's got a vanity plate, so he knows how to...

He's got to know how to speak English, otherwise he would have to go to the... Yeah, he's got to fill out forms, and he's got to go to the Spanish line. He's like, no hable espanol. Yeah, and I was trying. The whole time I was wondering if he was, in fact, blind and needed the eyes because he was blind, and that would make sense as to how he was so ineffective as a murderer, how he lands on the wrong car, and.

And his bat wings. But he did get him in the hole. Well, yeah, he usually uses his sonar. And his sense of smell. And his sense of smell, yeah.

He smells stuff a lot. So now he's going to have, like, sad, dopey, Justin Long, like, longing eyes. Yeah. Yes, kind of dopey and dumb looking. And trying to sell you an apple.

But it's like, if all of his, most of his equipment seems to be down in this hole, right? When he threw the body down the chute, he was already stitched back up, right? So what's he doing, like, on the. No, see, I think he's got multiple hideouts because, you know, he goes. Because they went to the other one at the end.

Yeah, he went to the other one. No, it was the new one because he done fucked up his last one. I don't know. I don't know. He had his record player there, so it could have been his main...

Was there other bodies laying around? I don't know. There wasn't much of a... Maybe that was the main workshop that we went to at the end, and this was just the drop-off point so they could, like, stick him on the wall, his stucco going on. Yeah, he's got different areas.

Yeah. I mean, that part's creepy. I guess it has to be. It's pretty gross, but I don't know. I'm sorry.

Go ahead. Yeah. No, it wasn't good. I was just going to bring up the psychic lady and how we feel about the psychic lady. I like the psychic lady.

I thought she was awesome. I'd be her friend. I liked her too. And I liked the phone call scene. I thought that was legitimately creepy in like a Robert Blake kind of way.

Yeah, okay. I'll give you that. I don't know. That's another weird addition to it that I'm like, you could have done that whole story without her. So it does seem like it.

Because it comes in so far in that it's like an afterthought of, oh, and then we can work this character in. Yeah, it just kind of goes nowhere. Yeah, I mean, she's there, but it's not really essential. Like, all those things still would have happened had she not had visions of them happening or whatever happened. It's like, she's just witness to it all.

Yeah, I don't like the way he treated her on the phone. Because, I mean, she was trying to give him information, and he's spazzing out, and he's telling her, you know. The little sister was being a real cunt. Yeah, the sister was being stupid. She was trying to listen on the phone, and.

Yeah, I want her at the police station, but either way. But she is trying to help you. You need to simmer your ass down. I enjoyed how sort of tragic and ineffective she was. I think if there had been a movie just about her, I would have liked it more.

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. I think she's actually an entertaining character, but it seems kind of weird the way they jam it into this structure. It's like she doesn't really have to be there. Nothing really even happens to her as it goes. I mean, she's sort of left aside.

So she's just there to sort of see everything and be like, oh, well, I saw this in my visions, and now I'm here to witness it again. Remember the scene that already happened? I knew that, too. I can't really do anything about it, though. But was her vision wrong, or was she just throwing them off?

Because she said that it was going to, well, it seemed like she implied that it was going to be the sister, right? I don't think she knew. Well, she said the visions weren't always correct. I think they were always correct. Or maybe, oh, who knows.

When they asked who it was, she looked at the sister kind of like in a, oh, you are fucked kind of way. Well, and she still is, I guess. Maybe she's just like, you're the one that's going to be left behind. You're the one that's going to have to live with all this later. He'll be dead soon.

I don't know. I mean, I liked the crazy old lady. She walked kind of funny, but, you know, he doesn't, I guess, when you're crazy. She kind of walks like Crazy June. Can Crazy June.

See the future? Does she have visions? If we talk to her, would she tell us? You know what? I'm not going to talk to her.

Do you think she knew about the serial. Killer? No. She wasn't. Okay, so what's our wrap up on this thing?

What's your final take on the Jeeper Creeper? I was glad the brother died because he was a real pain in the ass and he had it coming because he was a nosy little bastard who should have just goddamn hit out of the pipe in the first place. Exactly. That's what you get. That's exactly what you get.

You wanted to go back and be nosy and find out what was going on and you got made into a skin mask, so There you go. With no eyes. Yay. The moral of this story, kids, stay away from the pipe. Yeah.

And don't go poking into serial killers' businesses. Yeah, mind your own damn business. Mind your own damn business. You speak from experience. Exactly.

I knew better. The moral of this story, stay away from the pipe, has so many applications. Like, that's so fantastic as a story's moral. That works on, yeah, a lot of levels. I was trying to cover all my bases on that.

Yeah. Talking to you, Edward Furlong. Oh, wow. Oh, Edward Furlong. I just wanted to take it back there and make sure he's never able to be on the show.

I don't think he ever will be. Oh, the things we say. He's so greasy. If they wrapped him in a sheet, like if the Jeeper Creeper guy had caught him, can you imagine how weighed down it would have been with oil and nacho cheese? Well, he would have slid down the pipe easier.

He would have rolled forever. I did not mean for that to go here. I was just going to make a casual reference to his drug use. Oh no, you opened the door. And you know the creeper, all his embalming stuff probably wouldn't have stuck to his oily skin anyways either.

It would not have. I think he's already preserved. He's got his own layer of wax. Yeah. And foam.

All right, so does that round out Jeepers Creepers? Stay away from the bike. Seriously, dude, who the fuck does that? Oh, he's throwing dead bodies in there. Let's go look.

Yeah, exactly. You know? That's what happens in every episode of Scooby-Doo. I forgot to talk about how annoyed I was at that one scene with the sister when she's leaning up against the car, and this fucking truck sneaks up on her. Yeah, because she's not paying attention.

That's your job, is to watch to see if the truck's going to come back. What do you do? First of all, it's coming. I can hear it. And she's just leaning, and then she turns around and she looks at it, And she keeps looking at it.

And she fucking stares at it for a good like 30 seconds. I'm like, bitch, what are you doing? And then she freaks out and runs away. Yeah, and then it dawns on her. See, I almost feel like those moments were all calculated for that theatrical experience.

I don't know. It's right there. It's coming. You stupid bitch. Yeah.

It kind of works. I mean, we all were thinking that. Turn around, Mitch. Turn around. But even when she does turn around, she's blatantly staring at it.

Oh, what is this? Is this a truck? Is this a truck that's trying to kill us? Help me sit and stare at it for a few minutes longer. I want to make sure.

I want to make sure. I want to make eye contact first. She was totally watching for that truck. the other direction. I mean, you didn't say it looked both ways before crossing the street. Pull your car right out onto the edge of the road where he could see it.

And isn't that the direction the truck had gone in originally? Like, shouldn't she be expecting it to come back from that direction? Well, she wasn't just looking for the truck. She was looking for any passerbys. In one direction.

In one direction. I don't know if she was smart about it. I'm just saying. She had nice hair. She did.

She was lovely, too. She was real cute. She had a real cute body. I wish I had like that, but she was dumb. she was smarter than her brother. That's true that's why she made it yeah and.

What the fuck was that cell phone it. Was not 2001 yeah what did your cell phone look like in 2001 i didn't have a cell phone i might have it that i was still pretty late to the. Game on the old no i was probably told 2002 maybe i think i got a cell phone maybe three it was a nokia. Mine was too it's pretty fancy. You had it until like last year?

Yeah, pretty much. Or last month? Pretty much. I've still got mine. It's in a box.

Because I don't throw anything away. You don't. But yeah, I was just, there was a lot of moments where I was just yelling at the TV. So from that angle it works. We didn't watch it until like midnight.

So I was like half asleep too. Yeah. So I was like, ah, you're. Yeah, we were very low on patience at that point. Yeah.

And I think that might be part of it. I think by the end, I just get kind of impatient with it. I'm like, oh, hurry up and kill him now. Because the first half seems really effective to me. And then by the end, I was like, what the hell is going on now?

Yeah, it's like, if you don't kill him now, I'm going to come in the TV and kill him. So I don't know. I think the first half works really well and is really tense and it is kind of creepy. And then by the end, I'm just like, oh, hurry up and shoot him or something. God.

I don't know. I get impatient by the end of the movie. Especially this movie. I liked it. I mean, it was okay.

You know, I sometimes kind of wonder, too. What if the sister just shot her brother in the head at that point? Because she knows he's going to die, you know? She knows he's probably going to die a horrible death, and you're going to save him from dying. I think that would kind of spoil his plans as far as, like, you know.

Maybe he would have came after her. Yeah, big deal. Would he? Because he picked somebody real specific. He's got that whole sin thing.

He's going. He has to start over. Maybe he didn't like this. No, no, no, no. It's not that.

I think he wanted something very specific and he didn't find it in her just because, I don't know, maybe she was not as whiny. As he was. You know? She wasn't as scared. Yeah, she wasn't as scared.

He would have tried to find somebody else to scare. But I think it would have been a, Kind of a funny moment if she just shot him in the head and looked at him and said, now what? Now what are you going to do? You just get the creeper looking at it. Come on!

I totally picked this guy out. He looked yummy. Yeah, I was confused, yeah, by the ethical motivations of the creeper as well. It seemed like sometimes he would sort of... kill without discrimination, and then other times he'd be like, I will spare you because you do not have Justin Long's eyes. Yeah, well, I mean, just often those cops, like in the car, the cop, he just beheads that cop for no good reason.

And he at least took them with him. What about the cat lady? He just tossed her aside. Yeah, he tossed her aside and flew off. And what are the consequences of that?

Because now who's going to feed her cats? They're going to eat her. Oh, they're totally going to eat her. Oh, that and run away. It's cat chaos.

It's a catastrophe. See, I got wing in it. If you're keeping score at home of the horrible jokes. Which one was worse? I think catastrophe was worse.

It's a little hammier. But I mean, seriously. What if that old lady had family? She didn't have any family. Do you really worry about the family in any of these horror movies?

I'm worried about how they're going to have to react when they find out that Nana was eaten by a horde of cats. I'm pretty sure Nana has cats instead of a family. That could explain it, really. That's usually what happens. I've got a friend.

You know Sean? You don't know Sean. He bought a house, and the guy that died in the house, he shot himself in the face. He committed suicide. And the cat, he had a cat up there.

It ate his face. Yep. And then the cat died next to him. And then he bought the apartment. It was actually a house apartment.

And he left the tape outline of the man, and I I think there was a tape outline of the cat, too, but I don't know if that was completely true. But he left that on the floor. Did the cat, like, lead poisoning? Well, there was only so much it could eat. That's what I was going to say.

Did he eventually starve to death? Yeah, he eventually starved to death. I forgot how many. I was like, otherwise, why the hell did the cat die? Well, he rented the building.

He rented the shop downstairs. The owner of the building lived upstairs. He died, was upstairs in the apartment for I don't know how many months. Wow. And he just kept on shoving the lease money through the mail slot and eventually kind of was like, okay, we haven't seen this guy in like two or three months.

And then they finally got the cops to go out there and check it out. Maybe they're like, oh, I got my money back. Yeah, me too. Free rent. Exactly.

He ended up living up there, which I didn't understand. Yeah, that's kind of creepy. Apparently the place was haunted too. By a cat? No, by that guy.

And the cat. And the cat, yeah. Yeah, he told me he saw the cat and the guy. This is fitting, then. Creepy, haunted stories for Halloween.

Yeah. Dead cat haunting the apartment. Mm-hmm. Anything else on Jeepers Creepers? No.

No. There's no better ending to this episode than that. Please tell me you got that. I think it came through just fine. We really can't top that.

Not even if we tried. Oh, wow. And we're in a basement and that was a creepy song. Yeah, yeah. Actually, I like the creepy song at the end of Creepish Creep.

Not the Creeper song. I like the one they play. At the end. And then we were like, is there anything after this? Yeah.

I think we need to go out on that one, so we'll go with that. I don't remember what the song was. Anything else on your Halloween fun? Do you have any fun Halloween wishes for people? I don't know.

I'm going to go try to hang out at her cousin's house for Halloween. Yeah, he's like now BFFs with my cousin. It's ridiculous. They're going to sit around and. Play with each other's hair.

He's got a freaking sonic phaser. Yeah. And he has a starbird. Yeah, he's got a starbird, too. He gets into starbird fights.

Oh, hell yeah. Starbird fights. Me and him have a starbird fight. What's the appeal for Halloween, though? What's the plan for Halloween?

Well, if he gets pumpkins, he's supposed to put a bunch of pumpkins out. Usually he does his house up. Pretty big. Fantastically. Fantastically for Halloween.

How many trick-or-treaters did he say he had last year? I think around 150 to 200, which we get three. He's that house in the neighborhood. Yeah. So it's like figures, you know, I become friends with him and this is the year he decides to maybe not do anything.

Nice. I was like, no, you can't do that. You need to do it. For us. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you have fun Halloween plans, Lucy? Um, No. I now have a Halloween costume. Halloween costumes are something that I struggled with for many years.

And I went to a friend's dress-up party, not Halloween-related, but just costume attire, and I went as Adam Ant. I saw pictures. Those were fantastic. Oh, thank you very much. That was very excellent.

Let me tell you a story about that. Well, I appreciate that, and hopefully that will lend to the veracity of my plight, because I went to that, and nobody knew who I was. We're also old, by the way. That's the thing. It was, like, a bunch of, like, early 20s, 20-something people.

And nobody had any idea who Adam Ant was. And I even had brought, in case, I mean, I thought my costume was pretty good. In case I was delusioned and it wasn't and it was terrible, I had, like, I have an old, like, Adam Ant pin. And I brought that and I affixed that to my Adam Ant jacket. And so if somebody had to ask, who are you, then I could show them the pin that has a picture of Adam Ant with the words next to it, Adam Ant.

Yeah. People would ask, I would show them the pin, and they would still look blankly at that, see the name Adam Ant, nothing. Nothing. Is he an ant? So, from now on, I accepted this as a challenge.

So, my job in life now, I'm on an educative mission to inform future generations.... The existence? Of the existence, and more importantly, greatness of Adam Ant. So, every... I thought for.

A second you might try to have another. Icon. You're going to go as cameo. But I'm going to have an Adamant. Yeah, that would be amazing.

Trick's finding the codpiece. What do you mean you. Don't know who this is? Check out my codpiece. What do you mean you don't know?

I know, right? So every year now, Adamant, but the challenge is to have it be a different Adamant outfit. No repeats of jackets. Or When you get to his weird movie roles, let us know and we can tie it into the episode. Oh, I like that.

He's got a fine acting career there. We need to work that in. And I'm going to be seeing him in Pontiac, Michigan in two weeks. Not playing, just stalking his house. How many variations are there?

How many years have you got this planned out for you? I don't think it always has to be a different look. Just a different outfit. He probably had a lot of outfits. It could be Prince Charming for a lot of years because that's my favorite.

It's like Liberace. He had a lot of outfits. He had a lot of outfits. And they were all badass. And a lot of rings.

And capes. And was awesome at Halloween. Yes. It was one of the other shows I listened to, and it was a guy that grew up in L.A., and he said growing up, we would go out trick-or-treating, and there were only certain places you could go, but he said, if you would go to Liberace's house, he would answer the door. Like, Liberace would come to the door, fur, rings, you know, the whole deal, and give kids candy and stand there and talk to them.

And I'm like, that is so awesome. One more reason Liberace is badass. Speaking of that, is this true, this rumor that has circulated that Johnny Depp went as the pirate to his mom's house and handed out candy in Kentucky? Have you heard this? No, but that's hilarious if it is true.

I haven't heard that either. I think it might actually be true. It could be. I don't know, though, because I used to work with his cousin, and they said that they hadn't seen him since, I think he said early family reunions, that he just doesn't usually... If he comes back, he comes back to visit family, and it's very brief. and gone doesn't like i don't have any association with kentucky.

I've seen the people in that neighborhood i don't blame him Well, yeah, I do. Know that he bought his mom a house slash farm right next to the airport just so he could land in the airport and then go to her house and then just jump back on a plane. But I do know that my friend is now defunct. There was a restaurant called The Melodian in Lexington that was fantastic. And my friend was at the bar with this sort of unkempt fellow for a few hours just shooting the shit.

And the guy gets up to leave and the bartender, I think we know where this is going, says, what were you talking to Johnny Depp about for three hours? And my friend just had no idea. He just thought he was some weird dude, and they were just having a weird dude conversation at the bar. Those are all still true. He is a weird dude, and I'm sure he has many weird dude conversations.

I forgot, we do have awesome plans for Halloween. We did. We're going to Coney Island, bitch. Oh, yeah. That's right.

I forgot about that. How do you forget about going to Coney Island? You guys both suck because I don't get to go. Yeah. Because they're having their big Halloween spectacular at Coney Island, and I want to go ride the cyclone, and I'm like super-duper.

Excited, and I'm like, I have always wanted to go there. Me too. Everybody does, you know. You guys suck. Yeah, we're going.

We're going to Coney Island, and there's going to be like haunted houses and mazes and everything, and everybody's got costumes, which I'm kind of leery about. Yeah. I'm leery about haunted houses and that kind of thing because I don't like people jumping out and touching me. I don't like people touching me or close contact or just in close proximity trying to shock me. I hate being startled.

I hate that shit. I can imagine that would be hell on earth for you then. I like the idea. It's hell to try to keep me from punching somebody. Yeah, that's why I hate those.

My first reaction is I'm going to kick somebody in the face. Yeah, it's like you can't expect people to do that and not have their normal reaction, which is I want to punch you in the face. I wonder if they, like, there goes Chris Sarandon. But I wonder if they, like, if they, like, look at people and, like, judge. He just walked by.

And, like, judge, like, all right, this person will be good to jump at. They probably can't kick my ass. You know? This person looks like a weakling. I want to get them because even if they decide to swing, I can take them.

Anybody I know who's worked at Halloween shows or haunted houses or whatever, they do, like, they spot, and it's always the girls, they're always, which girl is going to scream her head off? So you can sit there and pick it out and, You just look angry, so they don't want to go with you. Which is the girl they're going to freak out? Yeah, because what happens when you startle me? Dude, there's been, I don't know how many times that he's almost punched me in the face.

Beating you? Yes. Tying. I think it was just the other night. I was walking down the hall, and he was walking down the opposite direction of the hall, but he was looking this way, so he was walking directly at me.

Because I thought you were in the computer room. So I'm walking this way, and I'm walking, and he's like, I'm like, boyfriend, boyfriend, and he's just like, and I'm just like. That was an arm pulled back that you didn't hear at home. Yeah, I can do it again. That's what it looked like.

But anyways, I'm like, I'm going to apologize for almost thinking about hitting me. You know, threat assessment. I had to look and make sure it wasn't. You can hear me. I'm your girlfriend.

You should know my voice by now. But it takes a while for that to reach my brain. The first thing that reaches into my brain is I'm going to kill you. Who are you? Oh, oh, oh, oh, it's girlfriend.

Maybe you should look where you're walking. Think about punching her. You better apologize. Dude, seriously. If I have dreams where he's mean to me, I make him apologize.

That's true, I'm sure. Because he's wonderful and I love him. All right. Did we just segue into our Valentine's Day episode? Well, I was thinking what a great Halloween story.

Domestic violence. Yay! He didn't actually hit me. Not in any way do I. Condone domestic violence.

This is, yeah. Unless the bitch really deserves it. I give up. We're going home. All right.

We do want to say thank you to the Scarefest people. This has been an awesome weekend once again. And I really like the way they set things up. Yesterday was really cool and made things very easy to get in there and talk to people. I do feel sorry for them.

Who? Oh, yeah. They had some bad, and none of which were their fault. They had some bad last-minute complications with illness, cancellations from some of the bigger celebrities. From the biggest celebrities.

Several of them. But they did really roll with it. And I got to say, that Patti Starr is maybe the most adorable person that ever lived. I saw her yesterday. She kind of is.

Yeah. And they were very upfront with the whole thing. There wasn't any kind of, they were very. Yeah, they weren't like, last minute when you got here, they were like, oh, by the way. Totally, yeah.

Like, as soon as they found out, it's like they were passing along information. And they passed the note from Malcolm McDowell, who was like, look, my eye's falling apart. I'm sorry, I can't be there. So they immediately forwarded that to everybody. So that, yeah, they handled it very well.

I didn't see a lot of negative feedback about the whole thing, but I didn't. No, I mean, all of it is not their fault. It's how these conventions go. You've got to deal with it. They should have just wheeled Malcolm McDowell's cripple ass in here in his upside-down chair.

He's got to lay down for weekends. He's already facing down. Just sign shit while you're there. You're facing the table. We'll just slide pictures underneath your face.

Exactly. If he can do it with his eyes closed, he's done it a million times. We can pry your eyes open if you want. Just one. Turn it off.

Yeah, it's still. Just from getting old. Because that's a boxing injury, too. I almost had that problem. It just happens.

It's something that you can have a genetic predisposition toward. It happened to my mom. She doesn't box, as far as I know. As far as you know. Only on special occasions.

Lucy talks back. So my eyesight isn't that great out of my left eye. Your eyesight isn't that great out of either eye. Well, yeah, it's not that great out of either eye. But it's actually worse out of the left eye.

But I think at one point we had talked about, I might have talked to my eye doctor, and he was thinking that I was starting to get that detached retina crap. I think it's just when you pry your eyes open and they make you watch scary, horrific scenes for hours on end. So, yeah, thank you to Scarefest. They were very cool and helped us out this week as well. It was a fantastic convention, and I would always recommend it.

Yep, definitely. Come and check it out there at thescarefest.com. Plan for next year. Otherwise, yeah, thank you to everybody we talked to. Specifically, this episode, we talked to Tony and Nicholas and Jonathan.

So thanks for everybody for putting up with me. And otherwise, any fun Halloween wishes? Happy Halloween. Don't die. Stay away from the pipe.

In summary, stay away from the pipe. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week for more Halloween fun, I'm assuming. So we will see you then. Same geek time, same geek feed.

Thanks for listening. Bye. Children, have you ever met the bogeyman before? No, of course you haven't, for you're much too good, I'm sure. Don't you be afraid of him if he should visit you.

He's a great big coward, so I'll tell you what to do. Hush, hush, hush. Here comes the bogeyman. Don't let him come too close to you. He'll catch you if he can.

Just pretend that you're a crocodile. And you will find that bogeyman will run away a mile. Say shoo-shoo and stick him with a pin. Bogeyman will very nearly jump out of his skin. Say, buzz, buzz, just like the wasp that stings.

Bogeyman will think you are an elephant with wings. Hush, hush, hush, here comes the bogeyman. Tell him you've got soldiers in your bed, for he will never guess that they are only made of lead. Say, hush, hush, he'll think that you're asleep. If you make a lovely snore away, he'll softly creep.

Sing this tune, you children one and all. Bogeyman will run away, he'll think it's Henry Hall. When the shadows of the evening creep across the sky, and your mommy comes upstairs to sing a lullaby, Tell her that the bogeyman no longer frightens you. Uncle Henry's very kindly told you what to do. Hush, hush, hush.

Here comes the bogeyman. Don't let him come too close to you. He'll catch you. If he can. Just pretend your teddy bear's a dog.

Then shout out, fetch him, teddy. And he'll hop off like a frog. Hey, meow, pretend that you're a cat. He'll think you may scratch and that will make him fall down flat. Just pretend he isn't really there.

You will find that Bogeyman will finish him thinner. Hey, meow, pretend that you're a cat. Bye, and quit passing out those stupid peanut butter candies. Peanut butter kisses? Those black and yellow abominations.

Black and orange. I hate those things. I like peanut butter kisses. Nah, you would. Nice.

They're like wrapped in this like waxy paper that's like either. Black or orange. That's all oil and grease stained. That's all it is. It's evil and that's why I like it.

They could give you a toothbrush. Just be glad you got that. Those are always the ones that my parents were convinced had. razor blades and needles in them, which is fine. They could have ate those. They're too small for them.

I just figured they have a core of weird, creepy peanut butter. Pass out more of the sweet tarts and. You don't go trick-or-treating, so who cares? The end. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by The Empires.

For more on how to sponsor or support the show, Email producer at movie meltdown.com. Talk hard.