288: At the Drive-In

This episode is rated M for Misty. Yes, that's right, this is a Misty episode, so it will be laced with profanity even more than usual. If you're not comfortable with this level of profanity, perhaps this isn't the episode for you. But we have many other episodes to choose from that do not feature Misty and will probably be far less offensive. Okay, maybe.

With that having been said, on with the show. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. More cooling in the containment chamber. To your stations, we have a rebound. I'm not gonna get any cold.

Oh no, no. This is probably a little drive-in dust. Let's Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come Memphis and you will see, this our town of Halloween. This is Halloween, this is Halloween.

Home can sleep in the dead of night. This is Halloween, everybody make a scene. Chick or G, don't make me, it's gonna die of fright. This our town of Halloween. Come Memphis and you will see, this our.

Town of Halloween. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian. I'm Misty. I'm Christian.

And I'm Bill. We are coming to you live via digital recording from the Georgetown drive-in. Right in the middle of the action. We're here. It's intermission time.

We thought we were heading into October. We usually take over October with a whole bunch of creepy Halloween themed episodes anyway. So I thought we're here at the creepy horror themed drive-in. So we needed a creepy drive-in episode. Cool beans.

How's it been for you so far? Pretty spooky. Just the food you ate? Yes. Did you want to run down of your cheeseburgers?

I had some candy. We haven't had a lot of candy. I had way more candy than I probably should have consumed in one day. I've eaten a lot of cookies. So many cookies.

I've only eaten one so far. I need to get some more before I go back to the car. They're right there. What about your apple Twizzlers? Those were disgusting.

Not terrible. I liked them. I don't care what you say. Gritty. Gritty.

I like the grittiness. Jeremiah was like, there was no gritty. I'm like, what are you talking about? Are you retarded? It's not really that gritty.

It was very gritty. It's got a squishy inside. Well, it was way squishy on the outside and then like pure brown sugar in the middle. It was gross. There ain't nothing wrong with pure sugar.

Brown sugar. Damn straight. I need to get a high five for that one. Yeah, girl. You guys are such dorks.

I just like some brown sugar. The pumpkin spice. Yeah, the Hershey Kisses pumpkin spice. Those are quite weird. That's my favorite one in the band.

Is it? No. You know you like ginger, don't you? I'm partial to Posh myself. I'm partial to Marianne myself.

Well, we're talking a different one here. Yeah, a different ginger. So yeah, I figured we're headed into October. We're also all falling into the category of buying into the foods and candies. So I figured we'd have a whole wrap up of our, it's October, time to buy everything pumpkin flavored.

No. Caramel apple. There we go. Caramel. If it says caramel apple, I can't not buy it.

See, that's my problem with all this stuff. It's the pumpkin. It's the pumpkin for me. It doesn't every time. Yeah, these last several years.

And I think it is. I'm kind of conscious of it. Like, I don't even know that I love pumpkin flavored stuff as much as I know it's Halloween and I love Halloween and I'm just like, yes, pumpkin shit. I need more of it. It's a novelty of it.

Yeah, it really is. I buy into it and I'm just like, pumpkin. Coffee, I'm all for it. I don't really like pumpkin stuff, but I love the pumpkin candy corn. Yeah.

I'll eat a whole bag of that. That sounds terrible. Leave my candy corn alone. It's fine just the way it is. Have you tried the Starburst candy corn?

Those were fucking disgusting. That sounds terrible. I would never get that away from me. But the pumpkin candy corn are regular candy corn shaped like pumpkins. Oh, okay.

I thought you were talking about... Those are mallow cream pumpkins. I thought you were talking about... Yeah, the mallow cream pumpkins. I thought you were talking about pumpkin spice candy corn, and I was like, foul.

I think they do have those. They have to. I've seen the caramel apple ones. Those are disgusting. Well, actually, no, they're not.

I've had worse things. The Twizzlers beat them in the worst things. Twizzlers have been a lot of things. Then I had Cherry Cola Twizzlers today, too. That was pretty exciting.

Those were good. Those were alright. I liked those. They're not quite as good as the Dr. Pepper, which aren't really Twizzlers.

They're some kind of knockoff. But they're fucking delicious, too. I still like the Caramel Apple. But anyway. Because you're weird.

I like them. Is that? What about Caramel Electra? Oh, yeah. That's totally what's-his-name from that 70s show.

I liked her back in the day. These days. Was that Bella Thorne? Is that Bella Thorne? What is this?

I think it is Bella Thorne. We're watching trailers at this point. We're distracted. Is it Bella Thorne? Is it Amityville Port 7?

Amityville House. I'm mixing up Animal House and Amityville. Making some sort of sex comedy in the middle of a haunted mansion. It's kind of awesome and I may just write this right now. That sounds pretty good.

Trademark. Whatever I need to claim on this thing. But yes, we just finished watching our first Amityville. We just finished Texas Chainsaw Massacre. A classic.

Which apparently I have never seen because I thought I had seen it when I was like four and it was burned into my memory. It apparently was not that at all. Do you have a brain in your memory? Do I have a brain in my memory? What do you have a brain in your memory?

Some guy on fire coming out of flames. What was that? I think you're watching a whole other show. Freddy Krueger? Yeah, it might be.

Was that it? He was on fire. He was on fire. Because I remember them telling me, no. I remember it being outside of a house, and I think there was a car or truck involved.

And the guy gets out of the truck, and he's on fire. Was he driving the vehicle at the time? Do not drive on fire. I'm not sure. Public service announcement.

Yeah, stop, drop, and roll. Don't speed up. I was screaming that at something the other day. What was it? Was it that video online of the girl in the restaurant that caught on fire?

Yes, that was it. Yeah, I know. I was too. I was like, what's wrong with you? How do you not know to stop, drop, and roll?

It was some sort of, was it overseas, I guess? I don't know. I don't know. I think it looked like an Asian restaurant, but I thought it was here. Like in the States, but I don't know.

I was hoping that was all faked. Because I assume everything on the internet is fake at this point. So I was hoping it was, because that woman all kinds of caught on fire. Yeah, and then she didn't, I mean, she just kind of like flailed around. I mean, she did get on the floor, but I think it was more like, oh my God, I'm on fire.

Not like, let's put it out. Yeah, she kind of did. Stop, drop, and roll, as I screamed at this guy. But anyway, the guy in the movie didn't stop, drop, and roll. He just kept walking.

And there was like fire behind him. And I thought it was Leatherface this whole time. Is this a full body burn? Because those are pretty impressive when you see them. Yeah, it was.

The entire guy was on fire. Exterminator 2? Personal favorite movie? That might have been. I really thought it was Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

There was nobody at all on fire in the movie we just watched. No, there wasn't. And that's why I was like, what the hell? That is not the movie that I remember scarring my childhood. And I forgot.

Your life is a lie. Up until now, it's all, yeah, you've turned a corner. Although they should have set the guy in the wheelchair on fire. I wish it were. And just before they wheel him down the hill.

We all hate Franklin, right? Like as a society, I mean. What an idiot. He got what was coming to him. It just took too long to get to it.

I was ready for him to die the first five minutes in. He should have cut him a little deeper. But he's the only one that we get to claim the title. It's funny people made such a big deal about that movie. And I know it was mid-70s.

They weren't prepared for that shit. The first handicapped death in a movie? Well, just in general. It's the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There's one kill with a chainsaw.

One kill with a chainsaw. It should have been the Texas bludgeoning massacre because two of the three guys get bludgeoned to death. Agreed. So I'm like, really? It's funny they make such a big deal.

Granted, I mean, he does run around with a chainsaw for a long time, but I also forgot how much it just drops off because I was going to start setting up the mics here and towards the end and By the time she leaves the dining room, I'm like, oh shit, this movie's over already. I remembered more running around before we get to the semi driving by, but she leaves the dining room, she's out on the street. Why did it not just take off on the semi? Why he wants to run around and then he ran away. And why did he have that giant wrench just sitting there?

Just because you drive a truck doesn't mean you have a giant wrench sitting there. He might have wanted to get out to check on the guy that he ran over. Yeah, fuck that guy. That guy was a crazy person. Yeah, that guy was nutters.

Fuck that guy. Sometimes you just keep going. I mean, basically, it's a step-by-step movie about what not to do. When being chased by a murderer. Don't go on road trips with handicapped people.

First and foremost. I said that to Christian when we were sitting there. As he gets in the van, I'm like, reasons you don't pick up hitchhikers. Look at this guy. Don't pick up hitchhikers.

Don't walk into a stranger's house. And when your friend goes in the stranger's house and doesn't come out, don't follow him in. You just count that one as a loss. And then when both of your friends are missing. You don't go upstairs in the damn house.

I'll be right back. I'm going to go upstairs. There's Eric Bana. He's so weird looking. He's weird, but in an attractive sort of way.

That's all you. He is not in my top five boyfriend list. I'm sorry. Your top five boyfriend list is top five pretty British boys. Hell yeah, they are.

You used to hate British guys. Carl Urban is not British. Australian. He is New Zealand. New Zealand.

He would be upset. Yeah. They don't like being in a group. He needs to get his grammar straight. Apparently, they don't teach that very well in New Zealand.

They don't use the proper usage of the term, too. Is that what you're saying? God bless him. Look, he's pretty. Well, yeah, and he needs to learn how to spell damn.

Damn it. So, the movie geek rundown here. Has anybody actually watched any movies, aside from Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Recent movies? Sure.

Or have you watched a movie recently? It doesn't necessarily have to be new. Yeah, I watched. Oh, Lord. Oh, God.

Did it have spiders in it? Oh, I wish. Have you seen Big Ass Spider? No. Eight-Legged Freaks?

It's pretty fun, actually. Have you seen Eight-Legged Freaks? Yeah. What's the one with William Shatner? Kingdom of the Spiders is awesome.

I like Kingdom of the Spiders. It's a classic. I like Kingdom of the Spiders. Arachnophobia is pretty good. Surprisingly pretty good.

For those of you who don't know, Bill's house is covered in spiders. Literally. There's Joe McHale. How many spiders do you have at home, Bill? Oh.

Way too damn many. Have you lost track of them? 24. 24 of varying sizes. See, I unfortunately have this channel called the This Channel.

Uh-oh. Oh, yeah. And they show, like, the worst, weirdest movies from the 80s. Or the best movies. Exactly.

Yeah, that's perspective. And never made it in the movies that I've never even heard of. And I'm always watching some crazy shit on that thing. Who knows? Any standout.

I wonder what that channel would play. I think Boyfriend made me watch a movie on this channel. Was it The Quest? Ooh, that is... That's got an underground following.

They always have stuff like Rollerball and. He's got good items. I got some Jean-Claude Van Damme back when he was kind of hot. That was pretty exciting with the split kick thing. Doesn't he always do that?

Yeah, a boyfriend who hadn't seen it was like calling, like, I bet he does the split kick thing to the face and that'll be his final move. And I'll be like, I'll be damned. It just happened. What about that commercial where he's doing the split on the trucks? That's amazing.

I'm sorry, I interrupted everybody. I do that all the time. Were you going to say you watched Bill? I'm sorry. I can't remember.

The Color Purple? That is a crazy genre film. Were there spiders in that? Unfortunately, no. And would it have made it more interesting?

For me, it would have. Big purple spider? I didn't get it. That movie had all kinds of acclaim, and I was just kind of bored. Which, The Color Purple?

Yes, The Color Purple. You're still looking for spiders. big purple well. Wasn't enough action in that movie for me it would have been better if jet lee was in it jet lee is the color wait a minute see that's got me hooked right there i'm. Trying to think the last thing i watch other than my recent i've been telling everybody to watch proxy because it's awesome but uh since then i think the only one i've watched is uh i watched the sacrament which is the new ty west. Movie i'm still angry with him you're angry a lot of people.

You don't understand or you understand it. You don't take to the notion of a slow burn film. I do not. You want action all the time. You're not good with the color purple.

I would probably not appreciate the color purple. Probably not. You dig the action films. It should have prints in it. Oh my gosh, yeah.

And the color purple rain. Purple paisley, that's what it is. Wearing no shirt, throwing a hissy fit. Hell yeah. Oh yeah.

But yeah, again, I really like Ty West. I like what he does as a filmmaker. Does he make shitty movies? No, I disagree. Is there anything like Tybo?

Have you not seen Ty West's films? He's a horror specialist. More or less. This is the one that he sort of branches out a little bit. Is this the actual movie?

This whole time I thought it was a trailer. No, this is the movie. Oh, shit. Long, long trailer. What does that say about it?

I know. That's why I was like, what is going on? Oh, it's the movie. This trailer makes no sense. Somebody running shirtless.

Was it Joel McHale? Because I would totally watch Joel McHale run shirtless. Is he the guy with the bleach spot in his hair? No. That's that other guy.

Are you sure? Eric Bana? No. They're from the same show, though, right? John Henson?

John Henson? Is that his name? Jim Henson? No. Does this movie have Muppets in it?

I hope so. Everything's better with Muppets. It's true. Well, I mean, there's certain things in life. It's going to make it pretty hot.

Damn straight. Fucking A. But anyways, Ty West. Ty West. Slow-ass movies.

This one, well, and again, this one should normally be like sending up a red flag for me because it's... Straight. Excuse me. It's sort of found footage. I mean, technically, I don't even like found footage, but the way that they do it.

See, again, there's good ways to do it. I think it's unnecessary in so many movies now, because I think, what's the superhero kids movie? I know that. Batman. X-Men.

Chronicle. Chronicle. Superman. Chronicle's a great story. Doesn't need to be found footage.

There's no reason for it to be found footage. Lighting. You gotta properly light this podcast. Well, because it's kind of, yeah, well, it's kind of like burning into my retinas, but then like if I turn them out, we can't see each other. We don't need to see each other.

Okay. We'll let him turn it off. Ooh, ooh, ooh. I did go see a movie. Uh-oh.

I went to UofL and watched Metropolis. See? I was gonna get in on that, but it was one of the weekends we were out of town. An orchestra guy playing pipe. Organs through the whole movie, and it Oh my gosh.

How did I not know about this? I would have been all up in there. Because where do we live? Because they don't publicize anything. I live.

I live in the country. Nobody even. You live on the outskirts of the town that doesn't tell anybody the cool things that they do. We do a lot of awesome stuff in our town. We don't tell anybody.

It's a big fucking secret. I'm in the middle of writing a story for one of our local papers to bitch about that. Yay. That's one of my call to action for everybody involved in, especially the movie geek world. The Daily Bugle?

Yes. I feel like the music people still have their real cool underground scene and they all think they're super cool. But the movie geeks in our town just don't care and don't spread the word about anything and don't have a community. And I'm like, that's bullshit. It's everything.

It's the music too. It's not like it was. But we still have a following. People will still show up and loiter around at bars and watch bands. But the movie stuff is just hit and miss.

People might go to it, but they just might end up there at best. It's just like, I don't know. Just in general, maybe your town's not like this wherever you are. But if so, tell them to get their act together. We all, as movie geeks, need to get some sort of system going so we all don't miss out on cool shit.

Just saying. Like Metropolis with a pipe organ. With a pipe organ. I think I've actually seen a version of that before, but it was not there. They did it at some other thing. like really old theater downtown, and it was awesome, and I don't think I've seen a show there since.

Again, why don't we do more cool stuff like that? Metropolis, what were your thoughts. On it, Bill? Oh, I mean, seeing it in that format was super cool. I mean, I've seen Metropolis before.

I've never seen it. I haven't either. It's awesome. It was on Netflix. It's longer than I remembered it being.

Yeah, a lot of those, it seems like they'd wrap up a little faster. Yeah. Well, you know, they didn't have words, so they overdramatized stuff. So, like, opening a door could take, like, three minutes. So it's like a soap opera?

I'm still opening the door. We've been having this argument for a week and a half. But does it have spiders? No spiders. Damn it, Bill.

Hot space chicks. But it does have, like, a satanic robot woman. Mm-hmm. She is a hot space chick. And the moral of the story is that women will ruin everything.

Ah, the tale we've been telling since the Bible. Everything's fine, and then somebody fucks it all up. This movie is looking kind of promising for the appearance of spiders being as they're at the Bronx Zoo. I have no idea what's going on in this movie, but so far we've seen tigers and lions. Bears?

Not bears yet. No, oh my gosh. The things that I shouldn't know. Got smokes that I stole from the 7-Eleven. Everybody's at the drive-on.

Wanna be the guy that doesn't like to fight Who can kick your ass if you touch his girl Wanna be the guy that. Breaks all the rules But. The cops let him off cause they think he's cool Wanna know the things that I shouldn't know Got smokes that I stole from the 7-Eleven. Good evening, folks, and a hearty welcome to our drive-in theater. We have a wonderful evening's entertainment lined up for you, one that will provide several hours of pleasurable relaxation and diversion for you and your family.

Did you fail to dress up for tonight's show? No tie, an old shirt and slacks, a house dress? Well, don't give it a thought. We're glad you came as you are. We just want you to enjoy yourselves.

Don't forget to visit our refreshment center during the intermission or any time. You love the tasty array of snacks we have to offer. So will the youngsters. Everything is quality and so good. We hope you'll make this a weekly visit.

Bring the family. Bring your friends. There are always wonderful new pictures to see, delightful snacks to nibble, a gay, pleasant evening for all. Oh, a word of caution. Don't drive over 10 miles an hour in the theater area for your safety's sake.

And mom or pop, go with the kids when they leave the car. We hope you have a wonderful time. Please, please help! What happened was true. They're crazy!

You've got to make a stop! Some of the victims didn't have time to scream. Others weren't as lucky. Now, Bryanston Pictures presents every grisly detail of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the most bizarre and brutal series of crimes in America, and without a doubt, the most realistic shocker ever filmed. Even if one of.

Them survives, what will be left after the Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Rated R, under 17, not admitted without parent. Tweet Audio, your source for high-performance and noise-reducing earbuds. Available in three styles and seven colors, durable and designed to sound great for both music and those chatty podcasts, like the one you're listening to now. Tweaked Audio earbuds come with a one-year warranty, and now there's a special deal for Movie Meltdown listeners.

Just go to tweakedaudio.com, and when you check out, enter the discount code MELTDOWN. Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. Want some music for your ears?

Doo-Wop Shop makes it easy to rent for any event, business meeting, or special occasion. From PA systems to karaoke machines to just about anything that makes noise, you can rent it from the Doo-Wop Shop. In Louisville, find them either at their Highland Store at 1587 Bardstown Road or in the East End at 2915 South Hurstburn Parkway. And look for them online at DooWopShop.com. Doo-Wop Shop.

We're serious about music. Raise your right hand. And repeat after me. We are drive-in mutants. We are not like other people.

We are sick. We are disgusting. We believe in blood, in breasts, and in beasts. This is Joe Bob Briggs, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. As long as one drive-in remains, on the planet Earth, we will party like jungle animals, we will boogie till we puke, the drive-in will never die.

Amen. Amen. All right. It's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies.

All of life's riddles are answered. In the movies. And now, on with the show. Every time I have a date, there's only one place to go. That's to the drive-in.

It's such a groovy. Place to talk and maybe watch a show down at the drive-in. Forget about the plot. It'll do very well. But make sure you see enough so you're prepared to tell about the drive-in.

I love the drive-in. Speaking of us watching YouTube videos, did you see the one with the tiger? Wait, which one are we? Oh, yeah, where the guy fell in the pit. Yeah.

And then he was fine until everybody started yelling and then he gets dragged away. Because at first it's funny. I thought, oh, this is like a tiger video. The tiger's kind of like a big kitty cat. He's like, hey, let's play.

He's just doing the kitty thing. He's like, ha ha, I'm playing. It's funny. That goes on for like two or three minutes. Towards the end, he grabs the dude by the head, picks him up and runs off with him, holding his head in his mouth.

By the way, do we have a status report on that dude? Is he alive? Again, I was hoping it was fake, like everything else on the internet. But the video looked pretty legit. It was pretty convincing.

Are they playing Donkey Kong? Oh, that was, okay. I get it. Monkey habitat. Look, it looks like Donkey Kong, does it not?

Oh, God. Live action Donkey Kong with a scary woman. Is this Altered States? This is Deliver Us From Evil. Yeah, oh, I bet she is.

Maybe she's got spiders in her skin and it's making her dig. Maybe her brain is possessed by spiders. Tay digs. Ty West and Tay digs. Okay, we're going to have to record fast.

It's fucking hot in here. We're making up our own plot to this now. What were we talking about before we got distracted? You were watching the YouTube video. Again, this is where it, you know. movie geeks do when they're home by themselves.

They just watch horrible shows. No, I don't. Oh, wait. Every YouTube video that we've referenced. Okay, here's my issue with the world, mostly Facebook.

Okay, it was all fun and games when you just posted videos to your feed, but now that they just start when you pass by them. Well, and then you have to watch them. I know. You have to. I can't get anything done.

I'm like six hours later, I was going to type an email, but now. But then you had to watch every Graveyard Girl video in existence. I've watched every. oh Bunny is so awesome I watch her I watch tigers eat people's heads I watch all kinds of stupid nonsense and it's because they just start it's different if I have to push play like that's a commitment to alright now I want to see this but when it just starts I'm like oh well and what's this and then six hours later so screw you Facebook. I watched a movie last night and I didn't actually finish it because I was so bored and it's probably already been covered but it's kind of a lead in to like the whole well I don't know I watched her last night.

All right. Don't totally ruin it. Not totally. You have not seen it yet? Okay, well, then I'm not going to talk about it.

That's the Joaquin. Joaquin Phoenix. I hate his name. I feel like I'm going to hulk up a loogie. Joaquin.

Call him Rain. I could. Yeah. No, wait. He wasn't Rain.

No. He's Leaf. Is that the one where he's in love with the computer? Yeah, the operating system. Hey, if my operating system sounded like Scarlett Johansson, I'd be all right with.

It, too. I mean, it sounds like Scarlett Johansson, but she's not physically there, so... You don't know? I got pitches. Well.

And the rest of the world. But, um, no. Thank you, internet. No, uh, this is... Oh, there's the lion.

Oh, my. But, yeah, no, it was interesting. I can't ruin the whole movie for you. I would be interested to see your take, um, I was told going into it by the Ken that he didn't really particularly care for it, but he just said that I should watch it and give my own assessment of it and let him know. And our assessment is pretty much the same.

I think maybe this is why I put it off a little bit. I think I'm afraid it's going to be a little too close to home for So I'm just saying. That's probably, honestly. A loser guy hanging around his house on the computer all day long. Just saying.

Well, and I mean, it's. A little too frightening. You know, because we're talking about like all those. YouTube videos and watching videos on Facebook and all that stuff. Like, I can kind of see society going there, you know.

That's what I've said. I'm like, that's why this is really a horror movie because we're one shade away from what's going on. Yeah, it can be a little disturbing in point. So I don't know. Like, you know, he's looking for emotional fulfillment and he's getting it.

He's getting it, but it's through artificial intelligence. Yeah. Well i haven't watched any movies like we did get back into watching buffy so that's been that's fun that's been a huge undertaking because we're like her mom just died. Oh whoa spoiler alert number one holy. Shit if you have if you don't fucking.

It's only been like 15 years maybe they're a. Little behind maybe maybe there are people new to watching it because they're young and stupid yeah. Exactly because if you're not watching buffy you really should be because it's One of the best series ever created. Well, her mom's going to die. I knew that.

Well, see, she knew it, but I'm not spoiling it too bad. But yeah, it's like I forget how much of an undertaking it is because season five starts with Dawn. Dawn's awesome. Dawn is a pain in the ass. I like Dawn.

When she first comes on there, I'm like, holy shit, I want to strangle this child, which is usually my reaction. To most kids, actually. But I just, they're just, the visceral hatred I have for this. I mean, I'm assuming she gets better and she's grown into a relatively hot chick. Tractorbird's awesome.

Ribs will always be ribs. But anyways. No, she doesn't fit that anymore. Not so much. I sent you those pictures, didn't I?

I think so. She is not ribs anymore. But yeah, it has been quite the undertaking of like, God, when is this person going to go away? Like Riley. Not for several more years.

Riley. I didn't hate Riley. I hated Riley and his wishy face. Riley's written to be a chump. So, I mean, he is a chump.

And Glory. God, I hate Glory. See, I like Glory. She has stupid hair. That was my other favorite season.

I like the Glory season. It's really fun. Season two's the best. Season two's the best. Again, that's why I said the other.

Season two's the best. But Glory is a super fun season. I need to go back and watch them all again. I don't have anybody to watch them with, though, so you'd have suckering Jay into it, so I have to watch it with my operating system. What are you talking about?

It was Boyfriend's idea. Boyfriend loves him some Buffy. He should, because it's awesome. I've been trying to sucker the Ken into watching Once Upon a Time with me, and I can't seem to do it. I was going to say, how does he take it?

He said, but football's on at the same time. Quickly add in the West in there, you might be able to sucker him into at least an episode. That's true. He'll be like, oh, okay, cool. The West, huh?

Yeah. I keep meaning to try to watch that show, but it just hasn't happened yet. It sucked me in, and, like, I'm kind of ashamed, but at the same time, I can't get enough. It's so good. I want to watch that, and.

I want to watch Grimm. I think I started on Grimm, and I got a couple episodes in. Grimm, somebody said this the other day on something I was listening to. They were like, it's the closest thing to Buffy we have now. Is it still on?

Yeah, it was up until, I don't know if it got renewed or something. It had at least a couple seasons. I don't have the patience to be, like, aware of things that are on TV currently. I have to wait until it's all available, like, Oh. Well, no.

Up until now, I've watched it all on the interwebs, and now the new season's starting tomorrow, so I'm finally caught up, and now I can watch it in real time, which I don't know if I'm going to like that or not. I don't like waiting an entire week to know what's going to happen. The last show that I put that level of commitment in to watch it every week, it got canceled, so now I'm just disappointed and disillusioned with life. That's most shows at this point. I loved Suburgatory.

Fuck everybody who didn't like that show. That show was fun. And Jane Levy, she was adorable. She is adorable. For a soulless ginger.

I mean, she's still adorable and she needs to come hang out on the show. Talk about making evil Ted. Which I gave a middling. I like that movie. Yeah, I kind of gave it an endorsement the other day to somebody.

I'm like, it's not. The original. Don't expect it. I kind of tore it apart. I know.

I was the only one in the show defending it. Let me know if Olivia Munn shows up, because I haven't seen her yet. Yeah, she was just on there. All I see is the back of your head. This is why.

Back of my head is just as sexy as Olivia Munn's. I disagree. Yeah, I highly doubt it. I disagree. You should see it in a bikini.

No. You forget that one. Anyway. But yeah, I haven't. Watched any actual movies.

Shut the goddamn doors. That's what it said. Shut the pot bay doors, Al. God, I love Joel McHale. But yeah, anyways.

Why don't you marry him? He's so far away. And he's not in my top five. Yeah, really. He's like a seven.

God, at least. Totally a seven. Nine pushing it. Nine once you see those new commercials. I love the vodka commercials.

Whatever the fuck. You can get a national marketing campaign for a thing and nobody knows what the hell it is. There's two different ones. There's vodka and then there's some kind of mint or gum. Yeah, that's the thing.

How many times have you seen those? No idea what the fuck those are. It's supposed to be an energy booster, mind sharpener. It sounds bullshit. It all sounds like bullshit.

This is the world we live in. Bullshit. But yeah, so we haven't actually had time to actually sit and commit to watching a movie because it's always like, oh, well, here, let's watch something. We're going to watch Buffy because that's like, that's a long, that's a lot of commitment to a show because it's what, seven seasons? That's if you just stick to Buffy.

Yeah, we haven't. If you don't spiral off to the angel world. We thought about trying to incorporate Buffy and Angel, but that was just. Try to recreate the old system when they used to. cross over from one to the other when they were both on the same. Network didn't they move to different channels they did.

And that made it much harder to do because then you get in trouble but when they were on the same network they used to do that like they'd leave one episode and go to the next episode and like they'd cross over characters would cross over directly from one show to the next within the same plot line that's crazy to figure out that sort of orchestration to make that all work but yeah so. That's Yeah, because there's seven seasons, 23, is it 23 episodes per season? Sounds about right. Except for the first season. Except for the first season.

Which was 12 episodes, I think. Mid-season replacement. Geeks. The show's still amazing. I love that show.

I get like, all right, when is this person going to go away? When's this person going to die? When's this going to happen? Well, see, that's lucky. It's a Joss show, and he kills people off all the time.

That really could happen. He could be the main star of the show. He don't give a shit. He don't care. He just kills people.

Yeah, see, that's the loophole. I didn't spoil that one for anybody out there. Kept waiting for the other Slayer show. That's a loophole I called them all the time. I'm just like, there's a.

Big hole there. Wait a minute. Slayer has a show? Yes. It's awesome.

Yes. You love vampires, right? All right. Is there anything else we need to talk about? I don't know.

The drive-in's still being awesome. There's a movie. I can't see Olivia Munn. We have no idea what's going on. There's a dark hallway.

Have you ever seen Ted in the Ultimate Book of Evil? I have not. Like the TV show? Yeah. I know of it.

The one with Jason Mewes in it? Yeah, he's like the janitor. You might want to check that show out. I heard it was alright. It's alright.

I mean, it's not like anything great, but it's definitely entertaining and different and weird. Interesting. And satanic. Is there anything we're looking forward to heading towards Halloween? Everything Halloween.

That's what I'm saying. I think we're going to go to Texas. That's crazy talk. How come I don't get to go? I want to go to Texas and I want to stalk Bunny.

I have blueberry in my trunk. I want to go. If you would like a box. It's expired. It hasn't been opened.

Right in. You can win your prize. I also have fruit, fruit, and yummy mummy in there too. Oh, yeah. I want to show those to Jay.

Are they from last year? They are. Because I was supposed to send them to some friends of ours in Canada, but it got to be too expensive. So fuck them. Yeah.

Well, I said it a little bit nicer because they're from Canada and they're super nice. But I was just like, yeah, it's a little expensive to mail you this cereal. So, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry, guys. How about that? But I think they're selling it in Canada this year. I think they are. So, yay, Canada.

And write in now if you want to win a box of your old Fruit Brute. My old Fruit Brute or Yummy Mummy because those are the gross ones. I had to show all of my tattoos to the lady at the concession stand. Oh, did you show her your Star Wars tattoo? Yeah, I did.

My Battlestar Galactica tattoo. Tron. Tron. Because, yeah, she's one of those, like, when you walk up there, she, like, touches you. She didn't ask to see the tattoo.

She just reached over automatically. I don't like it when people do that. It really, really, really bothers me. Kind of crossing a line. Yeah.

That's what's good about being a big, scary-looking dude. That doesn't happen too often to me. I did it two years ago. He was looking for your tramp stamps, what it was. But everybody's seen that.

I would have showed him that. That's an adorable My Little Pony. Aww. But yeah, because I was excited because, you know, they had the General Lee here and I was like, yes, because I got my Bodoop tattoo and I showed it to her. She's like, oh my God.

And she was like telling me all about her husband's tattoos and there was a big old thing and there was like a line like all the way out the door. And they're like, oh my God, shut up, weirdos. Exactly, pretty much. I'm like, I kept trying to like inch away and she kept like talking more and I'm like, There's people and they're giving me evil eye like I give to everybody else who does this thing. So we need to keep it along.

With that. I guess we should keep it along. So let's wrap this thing up. Any well wishes to the listeners out there? Joe McHale.

Obviously not. Don't don't eat those nasty caramel apple apple Twizzlers. Those were disgusting. Unless you like grit in your teeth. Those are good.

Try them everybody. The Dr. Pepper ones are good though. Do eat candy corn M & M' s though because those are delicious. Just eat candy corn.

It's pretty awesome. And the mallard cream pumpkins. And those. Silent green army balls. Was that a haku?

Gothic jelly beans? What? Spike dragon balls? Spike dragon balls. It was in the machine up at the concession stand.

Have we missed anything vital in this movie? Because all I've seen is a bunch of dark. I don't think so. It's kind of like the first time I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's like every time you see Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

No, I was like, ever since they've done the redo, because didn't that time we watched it, it was on. VHS, right? I think so, when we almost got killed. And yeah, I was just like, you can't see a damn thing back then. So everybody always talks up the grittiness and they like that it doesn't look pretty.

But I'm like, you need a certain level of being able to see things. I think when they did a little bit of a cleanup when it went to DVD, it kind of helped because at least you could see what's going on. VHS and it was real dark. Yeah, it's just dark with extra dark like every once in a while. Was it gritty dark?

When they get inside, gritty. Gritty like apple Twizzlers, caramel apple Twizzlers. Dead people. Oh my goodness. Deliver us from evil.

It could. Be a body farm. You don't know. This might be found footage. This is just Eric Bana's basement.

There's the person who suggested he did the Hulk. There's the spiders! Oh my god, yes! So good. Spiders came out of eyeballs.

Your dreams have come true. You've been waiting the entire night for this, haven't you? Your entire life, actually. Your entire life has led up to this moment. It's been a lie.

Oh wait, that was you. Nothing will ever beat when William Shatner saves that little girl and then immediately throws her. On the floor. Shatner's a dick. That's like just actual footage of him.

He didn't know the cameras were rolling. He just throws kids on the floor all the time. Is that Seth Rogen? Oh no. I thought this movie was getting ready to take another turn.

A nosedive turn? All right. Well, I think we've got our intro to Halloween. We'll be back for many more creepy Halloween episodes, I am sure. Get out, you know.

Oh, Lord. Before we get on a tangent of doing that, let's get the hell out of here. I have no idea what you're talking about. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next time.

Same geek feed. Thanks for listening. Yeah. She came a-walkin' in between two cars. She'd been down to buy her some candy bars.

I rolled my window down. My heart was thumpin' and a-jumpin' around. You found that baby at a drive-in movie. Yeah, that's right. I said, now, honey, you're going.

To get lost. She turned around and had a ponytail toss. But she says, I did it all wrong. Man, she had the craziest smile. I found that baby at a drive-in movie.

Yeah. Yeah. Better wait till you can see. You can sit right here and watch the movie. Walking and wandering.

Round every night. I found that baby at a drive-in. Movie I don't believe it We sat there watching a picture show. A horror movie with. A monster named Smoke They had him up on a train She scared that little chicken and.

She cuddled me Things got. Groovy at the drive-in movie. What do you mean, man? Things got crazy Well, didn't they, baby? Come on, honey.

Yeah, you know it, baby. Yeah. I'm sitting on. It. That's not how you do it at all.

I'm sitting on two of them. The spiders are everywhere. Oh, my God. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Attitude Studios, with the opening music performed by the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com.

Taco!