82.1: Keeping Corey Well-Lubricated at the Pajama Jammy Jam

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian.

I am Misty. I'm Jay. I'm Marlena. All right. I have a hollow spot on me.

Yeah, we have two sick members today. Sick or hungover? Sick is how I was told. I'm not hungover. One was sick, the other was taking care of them or something to that effect.

Probably a nerve injury. Oh, could be. You can put an eye out with those things. I don't care what nerve says. You gotta be careful with that shit.

So, with that, I guess we will roll on into this week's geek activities. I'm exhausted, really. This whole last three days has been non-stop and I kind of need a nap right about now. What are the movies for? Yeah, I guess.

If you can nap through this movie. But I like this movie. Anyway, so, yeah, this past weekend, I was at the Flyover Film Fest, and every day I was there, pretty much. So, piecing together our show for next week. So, yeah, most of it you'll probably get interview-wise next week, but...

As far as the, you know, stories from it, about the best one, I talked to a few of the directors and stuff, and that was cool, but the one I was going to go with, the most entertaining of the stories, was I talked to director John Stalberg Jr., we'll just skip ahead a little bit. We went to his, um, hotel. He took his shirt off. I was going to go with this story because the more I thought about it, I was like, if I, if I told that wrong, it would come off really weird. All that's true, by the way.

Um, we, yeah. Did he have moves or was he okay? No, he was actually pretty ripped. So yeah, he's in shape. That's good for him.

Good for you, I guess. Yeah. I was trying not to look. I realized that midway in, you got that locker room reaction where you're a guy, other guys get naked, you're just like, whatever, I don't want to see this shit. So I immediately, you know, knee jerk reaction wasn't really paying attention, but, uh, I thought it was funny.

So yeah. Um, I've got a picture of him in the shirt afterwards that he changed into. So to clarify this little story, um, yeah, he, I was talking to him at the premiere the night before and, uh, he had a bunch of stuff going on. There was all these people around him. So he's like, ah, we'll just do the interview tomorrow at the hotel.

So I'm like, okay, it's right up the street, which he was at 21C, which if anyone, you know, bothers to come in this area, 21C is quite entertaining. Is that where the pajama party was? That's what it was. So yeah, it's a weird museum slash hotel. So it's pretty entertaining.

It's very different than normal hotels. It's not boring like normal hotels, but they also go out of their way to be weird and wacky because they think they're cool. So on that note, that's what this weekend, which I didn't realize it. And it's kind of awesome because I walked in and I'm standing there at the elevator and I got to say to myself, sadly, because nobody else was around. So most of my comments are myself.

I said, damn, nobody told me it was a pajama jammy jam. Oh, Lord. Kids, anybody out there, try to work in the phrase pajama jammy jam as many times as possible. I think I'm never going to use that phrase ever. I'm just going to wash it from my brain.

I'm telling kid and play. You are not cool, man. I am not cool. I was going to say that or. Bananas in pajamas.

Dude, house party two. Okay. Come on. Get with it. Anyway, so...

I have no idea. You know I make references to Kingdom Play all the time, but I've never actually seen any of the House Party movies. Me neither. That makes me like the worst kind of poser possible. I just know the hair.

Nobody wants to watch House Party. But I at least know Pajama Jammy Jam. So, yeah, that's what they were doing. They had some sort of weird pajama party going on, and they were scamming, I mean, selling... pajamas they were like hand looming pajamas out in the front of the lobby there which was kind of cool but at the same time yeah the girls were working. Looming where they have a bunch of shakers out there making.

Pajamas i don't know what they were doing it was this we i mean they were well made by the time they were done but i mean they were sitting in the front and making these things to order they were out there like measuring people when i got there and then by the time he came down he was like oh yeah i gotta go over here and pick this up so he goes over to it And they're giving him this thing, and first of all, they're scamming him because they upcharged him. They told him one price, and then they got there, and the girl's in their pajamas. They know what they're doing. You can upcharge a little better when you're a girl in your pajamas making a sales pitch here. So suddenly it became a more complicated piece, and they had to charge him more.

So they also were like, well, here, just try it on. He's like, out here, and all right. He questioned it at first, but then went along with it. So he's changing his shirt out in the middle of the lobby of this hotel, which I thought was pretty interesting. So this guy just loves to take his shirt off in public.

I don't know about that. If you were ripped, wouldn't you? I don't know. I would just not bother to put a shirt on in the first place. Again, I think he was just swayed by the girls in their pajamas because they were like, no, it's fine.

They'll be all kind of nudity here later. They were trying to sell the whole, you know, again, the craziness. Of this hotel. Well, if I'm done, it's going to be that kind of party. I might have actually said that, actually.

So, yeah. So it was a strange situation at that point. And then he wore that pajama shirt the rest of the interview, so that was kind of entertaining. I guess he was comfy, I guess. I have a picture of him posing, making a crazy face in the pajama shirt that I think I'm going to post as the photo for this one.

Awesome. Because it's an entertaining, and doesn't really look like a pajama shirt. That's what I was wondering, what a hand-loomed... pajama outfit would look like. It's got a low neck and it's got super short sleeves, so it doesn't really seem like a pajama shirt anyway, but he decided it makes him look ripped, so he was like, oh, this looks like I actually lift. This is awesome.

That's their new selling point. Looks like scrubs. I know, yeah. It was like a really thick material version of a scrub shirt. It was weird.

Didn't have cartoon animals on it, because most of the scrub shirts I see have cartoon animals. These days, that's what it's come to. Thankfully, he didn't have Tweety Birds or anything on it. These are OR scrubs. So, yeah, it was actually kind of an interesting situation.

They were setting up the whole party out in the street there, which had nothing to do with the thing I was in, so I just passed by it and went back to the film festival and loitered around the rest of the weekend. So, yeah, we'll get to his actual interview. John's actually really cool and had a lot of good stories, so we'll get to his full interview, but I'll go to my geek activity of the week, aside from loitering around the film fest, was I did sit down and watch one movie in its entirety... The sad part is I was there the whole weekend. I didn't really get to see pretty much any of the other movies.

I saw part of one, but yeah, the rest of them, I was busy going back and forth and missed most of them, which is what happens on most of these film festivals, so it seems. But the one I saw is called High School, and that's the one that John directed, and it's actually really good. I wasn't sure what to expect going in, but it's really funny, and then on top of that, just kind of well put together. I know you're already on board, Marlena. It's got Adrian Brody in it, Yes.

But in a way, you've never seen Adrian Brody. Is he in drag? I was going to say. Dressed as a woman. No, I can actually see that more than this.

Once I saw him, I was like, holy shit. Well, he's got cornrows. He's got cornrows. He's got tattoos covering his entire body. He's like K-fed.

He's got a gold tooth. If he was like K-fed, he'd be fat. That's true. Oh, he's, yeah, it's a really interesting look for him. And yet he totally sells it.

I can probably get behind the gold tooth and the covered in tattoos thing, but I don't think I can overlook the cornrows. No, again, it works on this character. He totally commits to this character, and it's amazing. Were his cornrows better than Axel's? Yeah, actually, they were, because Axel's are terrible.

And blonde cornrows, that's really bad. So I don't know. Especially fake barbed wire. They were more red. They were like strawberry blonde.

They were glued onto his head, I'm pretty sure. Were they really? Anyway. I don't know. But no, Adrian Brody's awesome.

The other main thing that you'll be in shock is Michael Chiklis is in it, which... if you know him from the shield, if you know him as the thing in fantastic for you, he's he's yeah. The commish he's, he's unrecognizable. You people were walking up to him going, man, who's that character actor you got to be? He is so, I mean, he completely, they, they put this crazy hair on him anyway, but just on top of that, his performance is one 80 from anything I've ever seen him do before. He is so good at it.

So it's, I don't know. It works in a lot of drug references, but I'll say this is the main thing I noticed. It's very different from any other weed movies. It's become its own sub-genre at this point. The difference with this one is you don't have to be high to actually think the movie's funny, which is the difference.

Most of the other ones I've noticed, unless you're actually on something, really aren't that funny. They're just kind of ridiculous, and that becomes the comedy because you're stoned. If it's half-baked, then it's never funny. Yeah, that too. Well, that's the thing.

A lot of them I just don't think are funny, period. But maybe if I was wasted, it would be different. I think I watched Half-Baked when I was 13 and I was really stoned and I thought it was like the greatest movie ever. You think? you go. That's how most of those work.

This one is just really well written and well put together. And it's really more of a, you know, story about these two guys' friendship. And, you know, they're... situation that they get themselves in and then it also works in a lot of like tension he it's a well crafted script because they wanted to make it more of a thriller about kids in high school with weed and yeah they work in this really good scenario of what they have to do and then it becomes this whole day of them getting out of one problem and into another, and it just sort of takes the tension up every time. It's really well put together. So it's like Reaper Madness minus the music?

And Kristen Bell being cute? Well, that's the remake. But yeah, actually, in the interview, I referenced that, because it has a very, this could happen to you, you know, all it takes is one joint to ruin your life kind of message to it. And it's not, it doesn't totally mean it. Yeah, we'll go into it in the interview next week.

It takes it... And it sort of puts a spin on it. But yeah, it's got that feeling to it. So yeah, that was the main thing I did. Are we going into yours later this week?

Yeah, I guess. I mean, that's pretty geeky. If you're going into it, then I'll save mine. Yeah, my other thing is sort of tied to yours. So we'll get to that later.

But for the most part, that's, yeah, I spent the whole weekend. Even this morning, I was back over at the Center for the Arts for the Film Fest. So yeah, it's been quite a weekend of piecing together interviews and whatnot. Is it my turn now? Sure.

All right, I'll start off with the movies I watched. I didn't watch very much stuff this week. I don't think Jay watched anything. I watched nothing. All I did was watch the time clock at work.

I watched All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, which if anybody knows, it's hard to find in the U.S. You have to get copies. That aren't... Special imported copies. Yeah, that's what it is.

That's what we're saying. Yeah, I watched all the. I think I liked it. I'm not entirely sure yet, I think. I'm going to go back and watch it again.

But other than that, I came with... babysitter wanted which again it seemed like it ripped off so many other movies because it was kind of like um what's that one we just watched um what's the name of that movie where they had the babysitter that went out to the house of the oh the house of the devil house of the devil it had like it followed that like up to a certain point and then it tried to go a different way and it just it it had bill mosley. In it i'll give it that much is it like this past year i think it's been within. The past couple years i Who's in the movie? It's got Bill Moseley in it, and that's about the only person I can name. In All the Boys Love Mandy Lynn?

In All the Boys Love Mandy Lynn has Amanda Heard. Amanda Heard, she was the chick in. She was the neighbor in Zombieland before she tried. To eat him. That's right.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I forgot that was her guest starring role. Well, yeah, because in All the Boys Love Mandy Lynn, she plays the girl that, of course, she's the virginal girl that every guy wants. She actually comes off really well as not being too aware that she's the hot chick. Which is good.

Otherwise, you hate her. Yeah, I mean, she's not like, you know, Megan Fox couldn't have pulled that shit off. A lot of chicks these days will have been like, yeah, I'm hot, whatever. But she actually manages. To pull off the unawareness of it, which is kind of impressive for me because she shouldn't come off like cocky or anything.

I liked it, and it. Just had a weird ending that I'm not even sure I understand yet. I'll go back and watch it again. It's not that selective. I just want to understand the motives behind it, and I'll go back into that later, but whatever.

But yeah, I guess my big major geek activity for the week was getting my Corey Haim leg tattoo, which is pretty exciting. So I now have Corey Haim's face on my leg. We have conversations and all is well in the world, so happy days. As I said, you completely retain your title as Queen of the Geeks. Well, everybody has a Cori Hanks tattoo.

No, no, they don't. That was the other part of mine. In the middle of the midday of the. We got Brian to get filming on his leg. No, thank you, no.

I did go and get inked myself, but mine's not even dorky, so I won't even go into it. But yeah, that was just to add to the... ongoing battle that this weekend was in the middle of that day I had to get up and drive out to there get that done and then drive back and go immediately to the film fest so yeah it was kind of out of control. Good times but yeah that's about all the geek activity we had I think yeah I spent most. Of the time at work always fun yeah I hate work. Actually I don't I like my work I just don't like being there all damn day so good.

Times hmm Most of my week was spent keeping Corey well lubricated. Whoa. I didn't know it was going to be. That kind of party. Andy.

Keep him gooey. Okay. That's all I got. All right. Moving on.

Oh, well, I watched a couple of movies this week. I watched, um, the fantastic Mr. Fox. Yeah, it was pretty good. It was another one of those, uh, You'd think it's a children's movie, but it has adult subject matter, which I love, as we all know.

With that director, yeah. He's always got adult subject matter. I didn't know it was directed by Wes Anderson until I happened to catch it at the end of the movie. I don't know how I didn't know that, but I didn't. George Clooney's wonderful.

I love George Clooney. Even just his voice is fantastic. Yeah. Well, that's another one I give him credit. There's somebody who actually did the movie.

He actually went in and was there painstakingly being there hands-on, I think, for a lot of it, doing the stop-motion animation. I really enjoyed the animation. I don't think stop-motion is used enough anymore. No. Stop-motion.

Yeah, it's one of those things. You never can get that feel with CG. CG's okay, and I guess maybe it's easier for me to do a lot more elaborate sets, but there's just something about stop-motion that just I don't know. You can't reproduce it with a computer. And I just have an obsession with miniature things, like mini models of towns and houses and things like that.

So knowing that that's what all that stuff is makes me really excited. And how did you not like Night of the Leaping? Nobody like but it's nothing but little sets. Which my grandfather built. I know you should really like.

Bunnies yeah no okay i just thought that was funny yeah i think that's why i mean i never met my grandpa he died in like 77 but maybe that's why i have an obsession with like building models and not like. I build models but like i mean i have before but i'm not like a model building person you could i could you. Could build your own little village and pretend you're godzilla and go through and smash it wouldn't that be awesome. That would be totally rad no um i've thought about building a little town that looks like tokyo inside uh one of my friend's lizard cages because his lizards will get mad and just whip their tails and knock everything. Over that is That would be fantastic.

It would be. But, yeah, I really enjoyed Fantastic Mr. Fox. I've never read the story, so I can't compare it to that. I know a lot of people are, like, not wanting to see it because, you know.

The book's different. Just get over it. I say that most of the time. I also watched Paranormal Activity, which when I saw a previews for it, I was like, this looks really fucking retarded. So I never bothered, but my friend was telling me that it was really good.

And I mean, I don't always trust her opinions, but I was at her house and they were going to buy it online. on demand and it was six it's six dollars to buy a movie through your cable company. Which is ridiculous which. It's netflix is like nine dollars a month and you can rent a movie everywhere else in the world for a dollar but it's six dollars really screw that yeah but. People that are extra lazy that can't make it down to their local red. Box they live in greenville which is about 30 miles away from even like a gas.

Station so that's what you get for living in green yeah. But I was really surprised. I really liked it. Up until the end, it ended stupid. And it was five seconds of it ending really stupidly.

But it was subtle enough to be... I mean, not that it was ever believable or anything like that. But it was subtle and just like little hints of things that made it kind of creepy, you know? It was like... Blair Witch Project done well yeah I've.

Heard really good things and they changed that and there's been like three different endings over the last couple of years of it going through this process and I think the one you saw that you didn't like was uh suggested by Spielberg probably when he came on to be you know super executive producer whatever he did at that point he suggested that ending if I remember. Which it was just five seconds that was totally stupid had I it's turned my head that part I would have been like wow I was really surprised that was a great movie but I wouldn't necessarily say great but surprisingly good and relatively creepy I think what made it work was the characters were funny like the guy his name is Mika I just like to say Mika he was funny he always had like funny things to say and they were just like a natural couple and I mean It also helped that I didn't recognize them from anything.

Yeah. So, you know, it kind of ruins it. You know, after watching the Blair Witch Project and seeing that girl on Steak and Shake commercials, kind of like, you didn't die in the forest. I think the movie was way overhyped for me to want to see it. It was.

I still have no. Desire to see it. I keep hearing comparisons to it's like watching Ghost Hunters or... like any of those stupid paranormal shows that always drive me insane like that one show with that one guy who I want to punch in the face. Anytime they feel like the wind blow they're like oh did. You feel that it was a ghost I don't think it's like.

That no Blair Witch Project I mean I didn't like that movie Blair Witch Project but it was groundbreaking I think I mean not a lot of movies had ever done that and I mean if before it came out, everyone was convinced it was real, which I guess maybe if it had been real, it would have been more interesting. It was still, even if it was real. Or maybe if I hadn't found out it was fake before I went and saw it, it might have been more interesting. Or maybe if it hadn't given me motion sickness in the theater. Yeah, yeah.

Good times yeah but paranormal activity activity activity is similar uh because it's you know someone filming themselves but it all takes place inside their house they don't ever leave their house no safety cam there is sometimes but for the most part the camera's on a tripod um they show a lot of times what happens while they're sleeping at night and it's just like simple stuff usually like uh uh the door closing and stuff and they hear noise noises and There's one part that was really creepy. I think the creepiest part of the movie. Spoiler alert, by the way. There's a point where she gets out of bed and she just stands up and stares at her boyfriend sleeping for three hours. I do that all the time.

Creepy. And he watched the tape the next day. He was like, what are you doing? doing why did you do that you just got out of the bed and stared at me for three hours like some weirdo yeah it was pretty entertaining but i feel like i've talked about it long enough so yeah i. Only punch you in the back when you kick me yeah he did. He kicked my tattoo he kicked cory right in the face so i punched him in the back.

I have a lot of violent dreams i. I've had the weirdest dreams lately. I don't have dreams i'm dead inside. They've been really strange. Like last night I had a dream about sleeping in the grass outside.

Don't ask. The night before, I had a dream about, and this sounds awful, and I try to tell this to people, and they freak out and think I'm like this horrible weirdo, but it involved a baby in a microwave. No harm was done to the baby. It was just wet, and someone put it in a microwave to dry it off, and it just spun around and left, and it came out, and it was fine. Nothing bad happened.

Just don't shake the baby. Microwave it, but just don't shake it. nothing bad happened. I was just making the baby popcorn nothing. Happened i know this is just weird many of your friends are gonna let you babysit over again. Now i don't know i have and i don't know i had that dream and the night before i had a dream i was shopping with my friend and he pooped his pants.

At the store does he like to skateboard. Did you see speaking of uh uh College Humor, Derek Humor. Have you seen that their Mystery Team movie is out on DVD? Yeah, I've heard stuff with the director. He's actually kind of crossing over and getting to be, like, a legitimate filmmaker now.

It's kind of scary. Well, not just that. I'm pretty sure he was on that show with Chevy Chase. I don't know if it was canceled or not. Community?

Yeah, it's the same guy. Yeah, and one of the other guys is on Saturday Night Live now. The guy, remember the bro rape one? Yeah. That guy is on Saturday.

I love community because I love Joel McHale. I do love Joel McHale. He's so cute. I know. He's adorable.

I know. Even with his weird bald spot in the back, he's still hot. Really? I never noticed. Good times.

I'm only familiar with him from TalkSoup, so, you know. How long has it been since it's been TalkSoup? What's it called? The Soup. The Soup.

It's still TalkSoup. Whichever. Okay. That was all. Oh, wait.

One more thing. Yesterday, I lit snakes. Yes. I love snakes. Not real snakes, like the firework snakes.

The best fireworks ever. It wasn't even worth a July yet. You're cheating. I know. The best fireworks ever.

Come on now. Were they the colored ones or were they the black ones? They were just black. They're kind of the same. We had a firework that was called Dragon Fart.

That's inappropriate. So what exactly does this here dragon fart do? It just makes a lot of noise. Does it smell? Yeah.

Like a dragon would smell? Like sulfur. It smells like sulfur, yeah. So technically, I guess so. I mean, if dragons existed and farted, it probably would smell like sulfur.

What do you mean, if? Dragons are real. You know, I actually do kind of believe that dragons are real. People just look at me like I'm a... total idiot but i'm like they exist in almost every every folklore on every continent. Yeah every culture has a version.

Of them some fire breathing you can't giant lizard thing you. Gotta question that at some point i'm not saying i believe it but that's interesting so if you guys believe in dragons hey let us know. An important note on snakes they will stain your patio We lit snakes one year. Two years ago. Two years ago, and the stains are still there.

We have snake stains. Snake stains. Yeah, see, we always did it on the blacktop part. Oh, no, we have a light concrete. That's not good.

Forever we'll remember the snakes. A monument, if you will, to the snakes in all their glory. Until the rain came and turned them all mushy. The stains are still there. Yes, they are.

That's the thing. They're snakes. So you'll want to remember those good times. I mean. Of snakes.

I'm kind of afraid of fireworks to a certain extent. Like, when I was little. Little poppers get you, don't they? Not little poppers. But when I was little, like one of the jumping jacks, like... chased me and burned my foot so i'm a little afraid chased her into the garage you never let bottle rockets out of your butt crack i see a lot of videos of that on the internet wow no but i didn't used to know someone who loved to light them from his mouth so.

Nice the dangers of fourth of july nothing bad ever happened to him unfortunately but it did always turn his face black which was funny. Oh, the early days of jackass. Yeah, exactly. Wow. All right, on that note, I guess we will wrap up the Geek Week here and take a break.

Your fire safety warning. Oh, God, help us. We are not responsible if you light yourself on fire. Don't try this at home, kids. Definitely.

We'll be back with What's the Bug? I just can't stop it. I just can't stop it. Ooh. Girl, I said, ooh.

The whole family is getting together to show Dad how much he's appreciated. It's so nice to have a man around the house. But here's an extra surprise. Somebody's giving the whole family to the most enjoyable gift of all. Get there?

Take Dad and the family on a pleasure-filled outing to the movies at our special Father's Day show Sunday, June 21st. I want to thank all of you for making it possible for me to go to college. I won't let you down. Your tuition check bounced. My tuition check bounced.

Let go, let go, let go. Get out of my room. Yo, without even hearing my plan. Fly. A house party.

House party. The mother of house parties, man. A pajama jammy jam. All proceeds going to the Christopher Robinson Scholarship Fund. You hear that, Black?

What's going on, man? Name's Jamal. Talk white. You'll love the rap. Everybody knows about this part but.

The three of you. I know, right? What's up with that? Hit and play. Full force.

Tisha Campbell. Iman. Queen Latifah. And Martin Lawrence. It's the slaminest party ever.

House party. Hey kids, are you ready for Mid-America's largest genre film festival? That's right, it's time for the 6th annual Fright Night Film Fest, coming to you July 30th through August 1st in Louisville, Kentucky. Featuring special guests, director, producer, Oscar winner, and living legend, Roger Corman. Plus a Dawn of the Dead reunion, a Night of the Creeps reunion, the Girls of the Nightmare on Elm Street films, plus a.

25th anniversary Fright Night reunion. All that plus the Georgetown drive-in experience, live music, and more horror merchandise that you'll know what. To do with. And even an appearance from the Movie Meltdown Gang. So come on out and join us July 30th through August 1st.

For more details on the show, update your guest list, or to get your tickets, go to Fright Night Film Fest dot com. Fright Night Film Fest is my favorite film festival. Hands down. This is John Stalberg Jr. and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. Where are you?

Where are you? Yeah, call it. Fame, fame, fame, fame. At the time, though, he still had, it was that Checker career, wasn't it? Or was it the end of Cheers?

It was a long time ago, but. He still had brown hair. Yeah, he still had he still had somewhat of a career. So i don't know he did that becker show. Yeah i don't understand how it was on for as long as it was nobody watched it but it was on for like nine years or something i'm like how did that happen.

I think just the. Late night Time slot hit. They sandwiched it in between the Girls Gone Wild and the Crash Diet commercials. That's really late. I think it was just so forgotten about that even the producers and the people at the studio forgot to cancel it.

They were like, we were going to cancel it. What was the name of that show? I think they went home, left the cameras rolling, and only Ted showed up. He made his own show. Yeah.

Hi, it's the Ted show. Yeah. Nobody noticed for the last three seasons that that was going on because nobody watched it. Kind of like that two and a half minute show. Yeah.

I still don't understand. Fuck that show. All right. We have way need to bring it back into the, what's the buzz? What is the buzz?

Tell me what is happening. All right. We're back with What's the Buzz? Hey. Hey.

All right, so I'm the only one here, I think, who hasn't seen and doesn't totally think it's the most awesome movie ever, Tropic Thunder. It is pretty awesome. So we'll have to see what you think of this one. So at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards, Tom Cruise reprised his role as Les Grossman, the foul-mouthed Hollywood producer, only to appear dancing alongside J-Lo. But it probably was more than just them having fun, because everything's very calculated on these shows, especially that one.

More than likely, it was a ploy to keep the character in the public consciousness because... Paramount Pictures and MTV Films are working to put together a spin-off film based on Tom Cruise's character in Tropic Thunder. He's probably my least favorite part of the movie. I forgot he was in it. He's got to get his payday today.

I didn't even know it was him until the movie was almost over. I was like, oh wait, that's Tom Cruise. That's the thing, he's got to keep it going because sooner or later he's going to fade. Well, now we know what he's going to look like when he gets old. You're Tom Cruise, you're a nut job.

Yep. I mean. I'm kind of glad that they're not putting him in every movie anymore anyway. He's kind of fallen out of popularity. I mean, he still does a lot of movies.

Yeah, they're still coming out, but he's still... It's that weird mixture of people... Still kind of go see his stuff, but nobody likes him, which is really weird because usually you don't get that. Usually once you've pissed off the general public, you're done. They don't go see your stuff anymore.

I'm pissed off at him for ruining Katie Holmes. Yeah, she used to be cool. Making her a shell of the person she used to be. She used to be cool. Not anymore.

She looks so sad all the time. Well, if you live with Tom Cruise, I'll do. Poor girl. I want to go save her. Take her a sandwich.

I was hanging out with his cousin all weekend. I know. Tom Cruise's cousin? Yeah, he's one of the main guys that helps them run that film festival. Is he like, yeah, he's a total douche.

I don't know. You can ask him next time. He went to high school here. Yeah. In fact, my ex-boss used to be in, they were in the same class together.

He hates him. Did you ask him if Suri is actually an alien baby? I steer clear of most of them. Alien baby. Could very well be, though.

Oh, gosh. So, I don't know. That's almost the only thing people have responded well to that Tom Cruise has done in the last five or six years, so I guess that's probably why. He's probably trying to get back on people's good side and be like, hey, everybody liked when I danced around like an old man. Why don't I make an entire movie out of it?

Yeah, I don't think you need an entire movie out of that. You got just enough in Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder, yeah. That met its quota. He was one of my. least favorite characters.

That's what I just said. Kind of hoping they would come back and blow him up. That never happened. Watch Matthew McConaughey. They need to give him a movie.

Oh, God. They just give him bad romantic comedy. I know, but he was funny. Misty just wants about an hour and a half of him sitting playing bongos naked. I do.

I would watch that over and over again. Oh, Luke. Oh, Lord. Bongos. Well, this one seems more troublesome because it's got Ben Stiller involved.

And I know he was in Tropic Thunder and put it together. But still, I'm so hit and miss with Ben Stiller and mostly miss in the last 10 years. So I don't know. They're already selling it like this ridiculous. They're going along with this crazy shtick that they keep doing with it because Ben Stiller is quoted as saying, Les Grossman's life story is an inspiring tale of the classic human struggle to achieve greatness against all odds.

He's assured me he plans to, quote, fucking kill the shit out of this movie and make Citizen fucking Kane look like a piece of crap home movie by the time we're done with it, and I'm honored to work with him. Wow. So, like, even the quote is a quote, and they're both fake. You know, I'm just like, the whole thing is just already layered in so much bullshit, and I'm kind of like, ugh. It's kind of like The Hills.

Well, yeah. I've always been really confused by that show. It's supposed to be real, but it's fake. Or it's supposed to be fake, but it's real. I can't decide.

I'll sum it up. It sucks. I don't know. I've never watched it. If you watch it and take it seriously, you're an idiot.

It's 95% plastic. The entire show. Can't they just recycle them all? Melt them down into a water bottle? That would be amazing.

They got the IQ of a water bottle. Fleshbeard. God, I hate that guy. Actually, I'm sorry for insulting you, water bottle. You plastic goodness that contained my water.

Oh, well, this is like a whole series they've been doing of this spinoff movies for these side characters. I mean, that's how the Steve Carell got Evan Almighty. He was the spinoff from the last movie. And then the Russell Brand, his new get him to the Greek rock star is the same guy from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. So they're continuing this little process of trying to, you know, spin it off and make more money off this already probably dead property.

Does he come up with anything original? Yeah, pretty much. Are there spin-off characters for every character in every movie? I mean, it worked in Happy Days, but I think the spin-off is dead. Did it really?

When did it really work? Did it really? I love Mork and Mindy. Mork, I guess, was about, well, you know. Wasn't Laverne and Shirley a spin-off?

Laverne and Shirley was. Joni and Chachi was awesome. Yeah, I don't know about that. That's the one I was originally thinking. I was like, that was no good.

There were a ton of spinoffs from Happy Days that were awesome. Wait, that's all of the family. I'm just going to tie them all together now. But I mean, those were awesome. Now when Family Guy does it, not so awesome.

But I don't think Family Guy is that awesome to begin with. It's sad that I like American Dad better. And nobody watches American Dad. I still think it's funnier. I don't like that one.

Now there's like Another one coming out. And his movie. Don't forget his movie. We have the Quagmire show. That'd be maybe kind of funny.

I might watch that. That's too much. All right. So this September, we see the release of The Ward, which is the first theatrical release from veteran horror director John Carpenter in a long time. And I didn't really stop.

Well, I kind of knew, but I didn't do the math on how long it's been since he's had a movie people really liked. It's been a long damn time. It's been 2001 since Ghost of Mars. Before that, it was Vampires in 98. 98?

98. It's been a long damn time. I slept during that one, I think. I was super excited to see that movie. I was in 7th grade.

I slept through it. I took a nap. I watched it in theaters. I went to the theater, too, and saw it at Tinseltown. I don't remember.

I think it was free. Yeah. Nobody would have seen it. I don't know. Oh, so yeah, he has now signed on to direct the next one.

We've got The Ward is already coming out this year, and then he's signed on to do another vampire-themed movie called Fangland. Based on a 2008 novel by John Marks, Fangland is the story of a TV producer for a network news magazine show who is sent on assignment to Transylvania, which leads her to a New York office being flooded with creepy deliveries and messages. Hilary Swank has been attached to Star as the reporter. Ugh. Yeah, see, thank you.

It's not just me. Well, you know, honestly, I know everybody kind of hates Hilary Swank, but she's like, everything she does gets an Oscar. I really don't see her doing this movie. That's what's weird, is that she's doing this weird, I mean, even with Carpenter involved, I mean, it's still kind of a cheesy horror movie. I mean, come on, he doesn't really, like, get the biggest names out there.

No. Hires had like james woods. And gets no respect period so it's like he yeah even as influential as he's been in the in the movie world it's like in the real world in the award scene it's like nobody's given him any oscars so yeah it's weird that she's attached to it and it's her big old horsey teeth see that's the thing i'm gonna have to i'm gonna have to pull a misty here and say the reason i don't like her is her face They didn't bribe her with apples. That's how you paid her. Apples and wheat.

They'll give you an apple cart. She is a pretty good actress, but there's this big hump you have to get over when she's in a role. Her hump is her teeth. It's her face. I don't know.

In particular, her face. It's her teeth. They're big old horse choppers. It's just such an uphill battle to like anything she's in. But I mean, it's like, I will acknowledge she's a good actress, but I just can't get past it.

I just am not. It's a hard sell for me. I don't know. So. It's weird that she's in this anyway.

Can you picture those big old choppers as vampire teeth? God, you're in trouble. I can picture her in bunnicula. Oh, I wish they'd make bunnicula into a movie. No, you don't want it.

We'll be complaining about that in like two weeks. How can they do that? I don't know. You say that now. Maybe they should give it to Wes Anderson.

Nah. See, there you go. Stop motion Benicula. That might be worth doing. That would be so cool.

Oh, Lord. So, yeah, the Final Land script is adapted by screenwriter Mark Wheaton, who wrote the 2007's The Messengers, starring your favorite girl. Downy face. And co-wrote the Friday the 13th remake. So I don't know if this is the best way to go anyway.

I like The Messengers. Even with Downy face? Even with her stupid lip-bitey thing? Yeah. I want to punch her in her face.

Not you. I'm going to punch Kristen Stewart right in her stupid face. She looks different in the new Twilight movie that's coming out. More downy? I don't know.

She looks different from the first one to the second one. Because when I went back and watched part of it, I still haven't made it all the way through the first one. You have to come over and watch the reference. Version of it. I'm all for it.

I really just think her face is too pointy. I don't think she has downs in her face because your face is like Not pointy in, like, she's got elf face. I don't know, that scene in the first one where she's going, like, after she got bit and she starts making those weird faces, I think that's where it came from. She was all like, um, and then, yeah. In Twilight?

We're not having a kid because God was so punishing. Yes. He would. Yes, he would. After she got bit by the vampire and she's on the floor making weird faces.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just, that movie was so awful I just blocked it out of my memory completely. Alright, moving on. Made me think of Twilight with cheeseburgers.

Never saw that video. It's, never mind. It's Twilight but instead of eating people they eat cheeseburgers and he gives the cheeseburger a piggyback ride. That's not any less realistic than the movie itself, really. He falls in love with a cheeseburger and he gives it a piggyback ride.

Sounds like Night of the Living Bread. That was awesome. Alright, so a year ago, Ryan Reynolds had not yet been cast in the currently filming Green Lantern, and much less that they hadn't even broke news that anybody was. The viability of Green Lantern as the next big Warner Brothers project was still sort. Of up in the air until an amazing fan.

Trailer appeared starring Nathan Fillion. As Hal Jordan. Oh, that was awesome. I totally watched that movie. I want that movie is what I want.

Fuck Ryan Reynolds. I want Nathan Fillion. Just in general. That's true, actually. I want Nathan Fillion in every movie.

He should be in every movie, and I would watch them all. So that hit YouTube and became the big sensation, and they sort of took notice of that when they greenlit the Green Lantern process. Greenlit the Green Lantern. Yeah. So taking that into account, that trailer was created by Texas media director Jaron Pitts as a labor of love, and he just took it upon himself to do so, like all geeks do when they make these things.

But it so impressed them that he's recently been approached by Hollywood producers to create a similar trailer for a movie they're working on called Technotice using clips of Mila Jovovich. Wait, Jovovich. I forgot. She pronounces it Jovovich. I didn't know that until the fourth kind or whatever that means.

She's still Jovovich. I don't care. But she says Jovovich. No, still Jojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojo. It's been picked up by Warner Brothers.

They're legendary pictures. And the story itself, it's the story of an art student in the year 2074 who gets a chip implanted to improve her studies. but finds that she gets more than she expected. Uh-oh. Dun-dun-dun. She becomes some sort of crazy techno creature.

Super assassin. She's got, like... She's got, like. Jesus. She's got, like, wiring growing into her arms and all kinds of crazy shit.

It does actually, like, the original version of it looked kind of interesting, so if they could do a cool version of that, I'd be up for that. If they do just another crappy version, I mean. Yeah. So. I did watch it.

The trailer's kind of fun. There's a lot of images that are all kind of pulled from Resident Evil movies. It's very pieced together. There's other stuff. I'm not even sure where they get it from, but it does look good, and it is sort of pieced together into one big thing.

So once again, he's done a good job. So it's kind of interesting that they're now going to the geeks out there and having them make these, like, Starter trailers almost. Let's give people an idea of what we want before we even get any funding, before we get anything on it. What better way to advertise to geeks than have geeks make the advertising? You don't want some.

That geeks with Mila. You get some. Hollywood corporate that's completely out of touch with their audience. They release something that's stupid. Most of them are just going to turn against it.

Marmite. That's what happens when you let corporate get involved. Marmaduke. You make Marmaduke. You know, for some reason, if there were ever a movie with Nathan Fillion and Mila Jovovich, I see a VHS with words written on it that say, like, Disney movies on Miss T & J' s nightstand.

What are you talking about? I think I see what's going on. Yeah. So, yeah, that's just, you know, kind of encouraging for the rest of the geeks out there making their little fan trailers. You know, you might get a job from.

That one day. Awesome. More power to the geeks. All right, so this is just a test. Does anybody here know who Kim Kardashian actually is?

Like, aside from reality television, why is she. She has a really big butt. Why is she famous? She's Bruce Jenner's stepdaughter. Okay, that's better than most people, because I had to look it up today.

I knew the name. I know her films. Didn't she bang some football player? Yeah, she did at Portland. video thingy again those don't really count as legitimate to. Me who is she famous she's actually famous for something.

She's famous for having a. Big old ass she's like Paris Hilton minus like being an heiress but they're like I think they used to be friends so she's just like the same person these are all. People that don't exist yeah well but they're everywhere and I'm just like I hate fake celebrities I'm like if you're a celebrity at least do something to get your celebrity status like She's, yeah, all she's got is sort of family and reality television, neither of which, you know, entitles you to be. I do not. Acknowledge your existence and I don't acknowledge your celebrity status.

I don't know. Nothing. It's ridiculous. So, that having been said, this may be complete nonsense. Yeah, it's going to piss people off, I think, because I know where you're going with this.

I just wanted to bring it up because I think it's funny. And, yeah, I like throwing out things that could... I mean, it is the buzz. That's why I like throwing them out there, because it's far from. Fact, so.

There is a report this week that Kim Kardashian is in talks with Warner Brothers to star in the reboot of the Tomb Raider franchise. It's retarded. No, first of all, they also say an unnamed source reported this, which means bullshit. That's internet bullshit. They can't shit her ass in Laura Croft's pants.

But no, this is what I think is funny. They reported saying that this will be something very different to Angelina's Laura. It's going to suck. Kim has wanted to play a far more comic strip version of Laura. Which would be shot in 3D.

Big surprise. Oh, you don't want that ass in 3D. No. And aimed at a teen audience. Teen audience?

What teens know what Lara Croft is? Yeah, really, none of them. Nobody. I mean, Tomb Raider isn't even a game anymore. I mean, it's just like it's a moot point.

Yeah. I mean, kids today are ADHD and have the attention span of a gnat like most of us here do. Yeah. So, I mean, really, yeah. That's like making a Laurel and Hardy movie that's targeting the teens because.

They know who the fuck Laurel and Hardy is. I was going with the video games. Let's make a Burger Time movie because the kids love Burger Time. Yeah, yeah. We'll do a Marx Brothers movie.

Yeah, I'm like, how do tweens know what the hell any of this crap is? Because that's your target audience. I don't know. So I thought that was really funnier than the story, which is probably totally fake. But the fact that Any of the stuff that keeps getting remade and they're shooting for this new teen audience and I'm like teens could give a rat's ass about all the stuff that again the corporations think is the cool thing and we're going to bring it back and kids are going to love it and it never happens.

This is what happens when this is like. these big production companies making these movies it's like when your mom tries to buy you a gift that you like and she's like almost in the right direction but she misses the mark by quite. A bit yeah you know i've gotten many of those gifts yeah for many family members actually. Like this is you know like uh like i like stuff that has polka dots sometimes and me getting stuff with betty boop all over it from my family they're like you've kind of, like, retro stuff. Here's this Betty Boop purse or socks or whatever, you know? Something like that.

Where it's just like, hey, kids love Lara Croft. Kids love to play Tomb Raider. That's them video games. They're all video games. This is the same thing.

That was, like, when I was a kid. Like, that. I mean, not that that was that long ago, but, you know. Long enough that it's made a difference in the video games that are cool. I mean, that movie came out when I was in high school.

I could have... had a kid by then that they would be marketing this to so yeah. That's scaring them itself really but yeah yeah so i don't know even if this weren't complete bullshit i mean you know laura croft at that point came from an actress who won an oscar already so are we gonna buy kim kardashian as a british archaeologist i don't think so it's too stupid. Of a doorknob to be a british archaeologist. Archaeologists don't have ass like that I'm harping on the ass because it's big. I mean, I do think she's pretty and all, but.

I think Lara Croft is supposed to be active. She's supposed to be an active person, be able to do flips and stuff, and I don't see Kim Kardashian pulling off any damn flips. I mean, if she were to fall... She'd bounce. She'd bounce.

Boing. Boing. I'm Kim Kardashian. I'm an active gal with an active lifestyle. doing tampon commercials now that i could see actually i. Can't wait till she comes out with an album oh i.

Can't believe she hasn't actually she probably already has and we're just so out of the loop we we haven't. Heard it could be worse it could be khan kardashian her older sister who looks like khan oh yeah you know. It's really weird because i mean she's i think she's pretty but all of her sisters look like creepy transvestites the one that had a kid courtney I don't know. All their names begin with a K, which is totally stupid. Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kimmy, Kennedy.

I don't know. It could go on forever. They could have as many kids as they want. They can just start making up names that begin with K. And they will.

Or names that should begin with C, like Khloe. Kourtney. Yeah, start it with a K. Yeah, they are Kardashians. They can sell whatever they want.

All right, this final story isn't the remake of the week, but it's, I guess, the sequel of the week. So I'm sure it's going to annoy us just as much as they usually do. And technically, this story hit about a month ago, but I hadn't really heard anything about it. And after last week's show, I thought we better bring it up and see if you guys knew about it. But, yeah, after we recorded last week's show, I was typing in something into Google on the Dark Crystal.

And before I was even done typing, it popped up with Dark Crystal 2. Oh, man. Electric Boogaloo. Electric Boogaloo, as it should be. Exactly.

So, at that point, yeah, a cold chill ran up my spine. It's going to be CGI. It's going to have Zac Efron. As Fizgig. No, I like Fizgig.

It'll be Shia. He does kind of look like Fizgig. He's got the hair. So it's official. A sequel to The Dark Crystal is coming, and the directors of Daybreakers will be putting it together.

The film will be called The Power of the Dark Crystal, and inevitably enough, it's going to be shot for 3D screens. Yay! No surprise there. It's going to be CG. It's going to be made in Australia with Brian and Lisa Henson among the executive producers, which means really far away and has nothing to do with it.

Yeah, basically they'll get a phone call and say, should we go with green on this one creature's frock? Yeah. And we're like, I don't care. Are we going to make money off this? I hope, because we don't make money much anymore.

That's all you get. So, yeah, I don't know. The script has been written by Craig Pierce, the directors are chosen, and they are Peter and Michael Spirig, I guess is their last name, both of the guys who did Daybreakers. So, again, that's a very different look and movie and direction for The Dark Crystal. I don't know.

I don't know. So they, yeah, the directors are quoted as saying, We feel a tremendous amount of responsibility in telling this story with the same meticulous care that Jim Henson and Frank Oz gave the 1982 original. I'm not buying any of this so far. This is a chance to take the world of puppetry into the modern age. Which means CG.

Using modern techniques like motion capture CGI. And the tried and true methods like real puppetry. to create a 100% real world that is unique to the Dark Crystal. No. I don't see it happening. I'm going to pass on this.

Yeah, so, I don't know. The press statement also details the plot of the film, which is already bad news as well. Set hundreds of years after the events of the first movie, when the world has once again fallen into darkness, which makes the first movie pointless, Power of the Dark Crystal follows the adventures of a mysterious girl made of fire. Together with a gelfling outcast. Is it like Shark Boy and Lockwood or something?

Who gets help from a kid at the local school. Is Tyler Lockwood going to be in this one? Yes, of course. He's in everything now. So they steal the shard of the legendary crystal in an attempt to reignite the dying sun.

So now it's become the sunshine. But this makes no sense. To reignite the dying sun that exists in the center of the planet. won't that just kill everyone i mean if there were a sun in your planet and you ignited it you'd all burn i don't understand anything going on fire well but the gelflings aren't made of fire you're gonna well they already did the first time around they killed them all i mean. Come on there are only two gelflings so if there's more than like four gelflings that means like Jen and Kira made babies, and then those babies procreated with each other. Maybe there were more of them.

Makes sense in the Bible. I thought they were all in the first place. And then he found her, and maybe there was more. Yeah. Maybe they're like, oh, we were just in hiding.

Maybe. We were Anne Franken up in this bitch. Maybe they just started fighting. Maybe they were just crossbreeding with those potato face people. We're going to have a whole new bunch of weird little potato face gilflings.

Oh, that would be ugly babies. Yeah, I know. Potato gilflings. Scary. Does that look like a rumor, Wilson?

Oh! We've been working on that one for like a. This is why I love you. I've been working on that one for like a year now. It's been working off in the rafters somewhere waiting to leap out.

You like that one? I do. I'm so proud of you. Phantom of the podcast. Oh, wow.

It doesn't happen often, but every once in a while, I drop one. Poor girl. Hey, I'm still giving you Tupacalypse now. That's my next hit. That was pretty awesome.

I don't know. Dark Crystal 2 Electric Blue is pretty good. I say that about every sequel. They should all be electric. So yeah, that will round out this first half of the show.

Round it out like a potato. But as we go out here, we're going to play something we referenced a couple of weeks back. If you remember a few episodes ago when we were joined by Eddie from The Empires. Eddie's got pretty eyes. I specifically paused to give you time to comment on his pretty eyes.

So, Marlena, do you want to add some comments about him? He's a very nice guy. You're supposed to use teen-beat words like dreamy. He's so dreamy. Yeah, thank you.

Oh, wow. So while Eddie was here, he mentioned that they were doing a remix on the opening theme that we usually use that they had done. So he sent me this email this week with it, and he says, This mix is some VIP shit. It's only available to our limited edition CDs, which I think they're only making about 100 of, and the CDs are only available to our live shows and a select handful of locally owned record shops across the country. So there you go.

It has been remixed by DJ Wally Wonder, and his website is djwallywonder.tumblr.com. So if you like it, go check it out. I'm still kind of partial to the original, but, you know, if you like some DJ Wally Wonder, you know, go check him out. Can I just say that I think the Empires need to have their songs remixed by that same guy that does the I'm a Ninja song? Diantwood?

Yeah, Diantwood, yeah. If you haven't seen this video, yeah. Hi, I'm Diantwood. Yeah, go YouTube it. What's their name again?

Die Antwood Ninja. I've already made everybody at work suffer through it, too. Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. We could.

Do that. God, that was second-hand for so long. All right. So with that, we will invite you to come back and join us for the second half of the show, where we will be discussing this week's Sofa Theater feature, Blue Velvet. Awesome.

Come back and join us. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Thank you.

Thank you. What is in this mysterious package? Is the wizard finally to come into the open? Be sure to see Robin Meets the Wizard, Chapter 8. Of Batman and Robin, at this theater next week.

This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.