86.1: To Catch a Predators

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian.

I'm Marlena. And, you know, as we alluded to last week, everybody else has skipped town on us. I think they're all running from the cops or something like that. So... For the first time, we've actually delved into the listenership to bring on a new co-host for us.

Today, we've brought in Greg. What's up? I'm Greg. I like to party. Oh, no.

That's a callback from, like, months ago. Well, you know. Does anybody else get that callback? Isn't that what Eddie said? Yeah, Eddie might get it.

So other than that, yeah, everybody's like, so what do we care? Anyway, so yeah, I guess it's been an interesting run. For you, because I've known you for a long time, hadn't seen you in a long... Until this week, hadn't actually come in physical contact with you in, what, eight, ten years? Yeah, probably.

It's been a long. Yeah, I run into you at a show or something like that every. Now and then, or... That was like a long... Even that last one was a long time ago, so...

Yeah, absolutely, so... But oddly enough, and I don't even know, how did you find out that the show started? Because you were there from like day one, but... Uh... I can't remember.

I think you had my email and said that you had something new, a new project coming up, and I want to listen to it. And so I'm a loser and have no life. I may as well listen. That's what we're looking for. That's our staple around here.

The rest of the listeners, you're not losers. Just me. Yeah, you guys are all cool. Right. Anyway, so, but yeah, I think that probably is why I sent it.

Knowing the movie geek that you are, you know, we did do time in the trenches of movie video store. Video store. Yeah. I have a degree in video store. Yeah, sadly so.

Yeah, I may not be the heightened geek that some others are, but I still delve down into it sometimes. See, I don't claim to be anything extra. There's a lot of people out there, most of which who have podcasts, Seem to think they're an authority on everything. I don't claim to be. We just do a show.

So I think if you know that going in, it makes it a little easier than people who think they know everything. I don't claim to know a damn thing. No. All right. Anything else to add?

Do you want to have some sort of grand entry or do you need a theme song or something? I would love a theme song, but I don't think I warrant one yet. So I would say. All right. I guess we can roll into this week's geek activities.

All right. As for mine, the last one I'll save because we cross over there on Friday. But before that, beginning of the week, I actually watched Extract, which is the last Mike Judge movie. Oh, I wanted to see that. It's pretty entertaining, I have to say.

It's kind of a low-key movie. It never really goes crazy. It's just sort of a nice little story of slightly complicated everyday lives. But it never really gets. I don't know.

I didn't know what to expect going in. I think from the synopsis, I expected a lot bigger, crazier story, and it's a pretty normal, everyday kind of story. It is very blue-collar, everyday people, and it sort of follows them around. With all of Mike's projects, the strength really kind of lies in his characters, and in this one specifically, in his side characters, and that's always sort of been his case. He's had a few really good leads here and there, but In the little amount of work that he's done, yeah, it's always the side characters that are the most interesting and the most quirky and weird.

Sure. And that's, yeah, you've got to like that in his stuff. Yeah, Idiocracy, the main character, was about as boring as you can get. Yep. Everybody else was just off the wall crazy.

So, yeah. I'm still considering that. I think we might need to throw that one in. Still never seen it. I always hear from people that the idea of the movie is so amazing and the movie itself is kind.

Of like, eh. The first half of the movie is pretty funny. The rest of it kind of falls apart by the end. But it's a good. Idea, I think.

I still think it's kind of worth... Well, even this one. It's worth watching. It's not amazing. It's not going to blow your mind.

But, you know, it's a fun movie. And you kind of end up liking all the characters. Even like the ones... Like a lot of people do things that are not likable. Like their actions are sort of things that you wouldn't get behind.

But yet in the end, you sort of still like everybody. Like even the people you shouldn't like. You're just like, ah, that guy. I like that guy. He's okay.

So... Yeah, you've got to give it to Mike Judge for making likable characters, even in the worst of situations. We've had the hard copy of it on DVD ready to watch from Netflix for six months now, which proves that Netflix really doesn't care if you. Ever return it. But we stream nonstop from them.

Yeah, I guess that's the rule. Obviously, I've never gotten around to watching it or I would have sent it back. My wife and I keep saying, no, let's keep it one more day. We'll watch it. Never end up watching it.

One more day lasts forever. Yeah. So right now I own it, I suppose. I guess. Maybe you can buy it for like an extra buck or something.

You know what? Just don't even think about it. I think Redbox is like that now. Yeah, they do. Now they have this little thing at the bottom that says, buy this movie for $ 5.

Buy this randomly used by everyone in town, scratched up piece of crap. We don't. With no case. Have fun. Enjoy.

You didn't get the movie you wanted anyway. Yeah, they were out of the good movies. You got this piece of crap straight to DVD nonsense. So other than that, yeah, I did have an outing yesterday to Gaddyland. And that's extremely geeky, obviously, especially in my own situation because, you know, it's not like that's the first time I've gone to Gettyland.

In our circles for a while there, it was pretty standard. You wouldn't go a month or two without us making a trip to Gettyland or some sort of lame fun park wherein I got tickets to trade for prizes. That was really all I wanted was crappy prizes. I still go sometimes. and there's usually not a small child present. See that that's the thing it's rare that there ever was up until recently now i have my niece and nephew so yesterday was the party for my nephew so i did have a group full of you know five-year-olds running around which which leads to what i think is the really funny part which is as i'm sitting there my cousin and i started talking about it and decided that um there really needs to be a balloon sword fight show on reality television.

They're just... Because they gave a whole group of five-year-olds... They made balloon swords out of the balloons and then handed them to them. That's all they did. There probably is one in Japan.

Yeah, I mean, they're like, you want to open presents? Whatever! They're just busy beating cake. Who cares? All they wanted to do was beat the hell out of each other with balloon swords.

And yeah, sadly, there probably is one in Japan. Most parents, I think, would get behind that. You know, kids beating... each other's kids up it's a great idea well then but it really was like the more we watched it it was it was kind of like it it suckered you in like you just like you'd think you'd get bored of it but after a while i was like no no this is really entertaining yeah i was like there's there is the comedy there's you know intrigue there's you know it really is like a reality show they're forming alliances and you know they're voting you out of the room they kick your ass out there and you know that Except for the one girl who got a flower. She got screwed. Oh, that's bad.

I think she didn't want a sword because that's what the dorky boys had. But she did make her a flower. The girl making the balloons was pretty talented. She made a flower, which looked really close to what a balloon sword looks like. But it had an extra balloon on it and made it a flower.

She could have called it a mace or something. Yeah, I think she still should have started hitting people in the face with it. But whatever, little girls. The rest of them just pounded on each other. so yeah. And then to wrap up that part, I did at the end of this, probably the most adult thing I've ever done in my life.

I played, you know, I hung around there, played skeeball or whatever, stupid games and did really badly at all of them and got a handful of tickets and then use them all to buy my niece a present. I'm disappointing. I'm still, yeah, I know. I was standing there in line, kind of in shock. Like, I think I'm going to get her.

So what, The hell? What is this? Ow! Adulthood sucks! Yeah, I didn't buy myself toys with my tickets.

I don't understand. It doesn't make sense to me. You didn't want a super high bounce ball or a finger trap or something? I did, but you know, my affection for my niece, I overwhelmed it. It kind of sucks, really.

What the hell is that about? Where's my toys, damn it? so yeah that's right gave my. She grows up you're gonna be like you owe me a gaddyland toy give me your. Tickets give me that yeah then i'll just shove her down and take them but by then she'll just kick my. Ass she'll be really old by then so she'll even even push your walker.

Even now she's a she's a feisty little kid she just punched people in the face she don't care she's hardcore. She might have to feed you a tapioca pudding at the Old folks home one day, so don't worry about that. I don't think anybody's taking care of me. I'll just be one they push out in the yard in a wheelchair. He likes to look at the sun.

Just leave him out there. That's amazing. It amazes me. The small, simple things kids do. You can entertain an adult for hours and hours and hours.

If it's your kid or one you know very well. Otherwise, you're just annoyed at that little brat. Whatever they're doing, they can be doing the exact same thing, but you're just like, oh, that kid needs to go away. Yeah, like yesterday, my best friend's baby, who's only five months old, we like to teach her dances, and she's pretty good at them, but we've been working on this for quite a while. She gets really close to your face and bites your face, but she has no teeth.

But we yell, zombie baby! And she puts her mouth on your forehead and kind of just slobbers on your forehead. But it's really funny. Zombie in training. I have pictures.

Nice. Pretty funny. That went on for about 45 minutes at least. Yeah, I can see that. I don't know what point it is, but eventually that slobber drool just becomes gross and you don't want your kid to do that.

But there's that, you know, I don't know where that point is. Yeah, because I've seen parents do things involving slobber that creep me out. But it was their kid and they didn't blink an eye. And I'm just like, okay, I guess that comes with the having a kid part. Like picking a pacifier off the dirty floor and licking it to clean it.

That's kind of the one I was thinking of. It kind of doesn't really make it any cleaner. Yeah, I watched a mother do that. She was like, oh, here you go. Haven't they seen those protestus commercials or whatever?

Good stuff. Yikes. That was about all I did other than, um, Friday night, which we sort of crossover Craig and I, cause that was the, our first little interaction before this weekend kicked in. What's sad is before, um, middle of this week, I had no idea I was going to see you at all, let alone that you would be sitting here twice in a week. I know.

Yeah. I, uh, yeah, I, I didn't even know for sure. I threw it out there like, uh, the beginning of the week and, uh, Before the show was over last week, Roger bailed on us. I was like, oh, remember when I said we might want you to come by? Guess what?

I'm close, but I sometimes show up late. Let it slide this time. Okay. So, yeah, Friday night we ended up going to see Predators. So, before we even get into the movie, would you like to run through the trailers?

Because we had the best allotment of trailers I think I've ever seen possibly ever. There was not a downtime in the entire run. We had four trailers. They were worth the price of admission. They were.

We had the long new trailer, or new. To me, I suppose, because I don't try to watch too many of those online, but the machete trailer. trailer we knew we've kind of figured that was an upcoming. Being related to rodriguez yeah but um yeah i i think what did we decide can you fit that much awesome in a movie no there's so much awesome just in the trailer it already needs to be a trilogy right right absolutely. And then and then directly after that is another that's crammed full of awesomeness and explosions as explosions the expendables yep um a bunch of old dudes running around Pumping iron. I think it's your laundry list of, hey, you doing anything?

No. No. Let's go. Most of them, that's true. I mean, with the exception of Jason Statham, where any of the other ones are working, I don't think you need much money to get Dolph Lundgren in your movie now.

He's like, can I eat off the catering table? Okay. I like to eat, and I don't get a chance much. No. No.

So yeah the rest of them you know even Jet Li's kind of semi-retired now so I mean he's he was working quite a bit for a while right even he's sort of put himself out the pasture I suppose yeah it's no surprise on most of them but um yeah. I remember thinking with both of them that you know we watched a I don't know three minute four minute trailer and I was thinking there's no way they can fit all of these scenes into one movie yep you know there's 14 explosions in a three second span how does that happen so Only in the movies. It's going to be chock full. And we also were sitting there thinking, going, oh, after those two. I mean, it can't get more awesome than that.

They stepped it up. They literally stepped it up. The Step Up 3D trailer. Wow. I am still in shock.

I don't even know what to do with that. I just sat there awestruck by the ridiculousness. And yet, I want to go see it. There's smoke coming off their hands coming out at you in the screen. It's going to be fantastic.

There's droplets of water flying around, and there's your feet spinning and coming at your face. And I'm just like. Did you have 3D glasses on at the time? No, and it was still, like, you're still watching it going, oh, that's blatantly 3D. Like, all of these are, like, things coming at the screen.

So you're like, this is going to be so 3D. It's going to be amazing. I've never seen a 3D movie. Oh. Aside from when I was really young and there was this...

It's. Very hit and miss. At Disney World. Captain EO? I don't know.

Captain EO is awesome. There's the Muppets, the Muppets 3D experience. I haven't been in a long time. Captain EO was, like, cutting edge when I was there. And I think they've got the Bugs Life 3D, so they go out with 3D at Disney.

It's hit and miss, though. Some of them are awesome, some of them are kind of, why am I wearing these stupid glasses? They give me a headache, so I don't like to go. I've only seen one I've been really impressed with, and the rest have been kind of... And which one was that?

Well, no, the one I really liked was the My Bloody Valentine. I think they did a really good thing. I did... I did what I saw of. That was kind of the start of the 3D craze.

Yeah, that was the first one. And they put all the work in that one. And then I saw Coraline. That was actually pretty impressive, too. But that's just a good movie anyway.

I saw that one without 3D. Yeah, it's good. But what they'd done with that was pretty high-tech, too. But yeah, the Final Destination one was pretty lame, really. Not just the movie.

But yeah, the 3D was kind of a letdown, too. I don't know if we watched much else. I saw the.... Took my kid to see the How to Train Your Dragon. Yeah, I've heard that's good.

That didn't need it, but it was really good with it. I've heard the flying scenes are pretty good. Yeah, but you really don't need the flying scenes either. So, I don't know. It's just an excuse to pay $ 3 more.

Obviously. So, yeah. Step Up 3D looks amazing. horrible, stupid, and yet somehow I want to give them like $ 14 to go see this thing. Oh my god, it looks terrible. But the last one may have upped it even more because there's lots of death and blood involved.

They followed it up with Piranha 3D. Wow. I didn't realize... I mean, I knew this was going to be ridiculous. I don't think I realized the sci-fi-ness of this movie because...

Oh my god, it's so big screen version of a sci-fi movie. Yeah, the sci-fi channel missed out on getting this, I guess. I don't know. They made a pass on the script and then somehow it got greenlit to go to the theaters because... They'll have the sequel year in and year out.

Oh, yeah. Straight to side by. Unless they make a ton of money off of the box office. I don't know if they would own this place. But the thing that bothered me, I couldn't believe Elizabeth Shue was going to be in it.

I'd heard that early on, and that was kind of the selling point. The only other thing I'd heard in the beginning was that she was in it. I'm like, well, now I'm kind of on board. 3D and Elizabeth Shue? Come on now.

But then, yeah, this is the first I've seen any footage of the piranha in question. Wow. Holy shit, these are bad. Like, I mean, it's going to theaters. It's going to have a pretty decent budget with all these actors they're pulling in.

So I thought they were going to have a decent amount of CGI. I mean, I didn't figure they were going to do much practical effects. But, no, this is all CGI, and it's sci-fi channel level of CGI. Right. Oh, my God.

I did not expect that. The one moment where there's a wall of piranha underwater, it looks like Finding Nemo. It's that bad. I mean, not that Finding Nemo is bad, but Finding Nemo is not supposed to be real. It's not supposed to be actual things you can touch.

Yeah, it's a cartoon. There's a difference. Right. So, yeah. Do we even need to go into the movie now?

That's spent all of it right there. Yeah, we have a whole show of our previews. But really, those four? Can you top those four in a row? No, just Adrian Brody being the alpha male.

That's the only thing that can top it. And confusing but semi-worked? Right. I don't know. I still.

It was pretty fun. I think we both sort of decided it was what we expected to some extent, but maybe a little better. I think I went in with not high hopes, so the fact that it was pretty fun and entertaining is sort of a plus from where I expected. Right. Yeah, it was pretty fun.

It wasn't Alien vs. Predator. No, thankfully. That made me very happy because that stuff's kind of. Horrible.

Horrible. There you go. Horrible. So I think the one thing that bothered me about the whole movie and thinking about it after the fact is that it seemed to. They had.

Not that you've seen it. I'm sorry. But they had representatives from every ethnic group in the film. And it's like, oh, well, this is the Mexican guy. And, oh, this is the Asian guy.

It's a movie. They have to do that, don't they? I don't even think they went out of their way to name them. It's just like, oh, there's the Mexican guy. Because you never would get confused at who they were talking about.

Well, it's a Rodriguez-related movie. Guess who the Mexican guy is. Surprise! Is it Danny Trejo? Yes.

The second person you see in the film. Danny Trejo. So, yeah. I mean, most of them... I mean, that one you saw coming.

But, yes, they did work in... We're going to have to have a girl. Hmm... Let's see. So they have to work in one girl, one black guy.

Of all the fighters in the world, there's only one good black guy that's kicking ass out there? That seems off. I mean, there's all kinds of crazy depth. What was he part of, the depth team? I don't even recall.

I don't watch those military tech shows to find out who all the people in the world can kill me. What's the one where they battle each other, they simulate death? What military group could kick the other one's ass? I don't know. It's on one of the channels.

Is this UFC? No, they actually put into a computer simulator the different weapons that each one uses in their training and they see who would win. I think I've I know what you're talking about, but I can't think of the name of it. It was the Death Squads. He was one of the crazy Death Squads in Africa.

So it's like, yeah, we've just got one guy? So yeah, they didn't even double up. I guess the closest thing is the extra white guys, but even then it's like, you're a Russian. We have to have a Russian because we have this American guy. So we have to have a Russian because he's a bad guy.

Yeah, I don't know. It's ridiculous. It was still definitely, if you liked Predator... this is a definite C. If you really like Predator, you have to see it. Everything else went sort of downhill and steadily downhill as the rest of the Predator-related movies came out.

So yeah, this is kind of bringing the bar back up a little bit, I have to say. And I like the setup. That first... initially going in like the characters not having a clue what the hell's going on and that first half of them figuring out where they are and what's going on and it kind of plateaus at that point there's like that mid 15 minutes or so where it really is sort of i guess they're busy then explaining things a little more but it's sort of leveled out and it's it takes a little too long there but by the end it wraps up with lots of action again so. Yeah they have to spend time doing the crazy guy exposition moments yeah and uh i don't know if you want me to get into the crazy guy at all but then after that it's just non-stop action and almost step it up a notch fast paced and you're you know yeah they want to have just a roller coaster eat your popcorn moment so that's that's that's all it is.

And it's yeah it delivers on all of that so twists lots of fun yeah so yeah i like that so Guess we can continue on to the rest of your week now, Dave. Oh, my geek week. I'm so honored. I guess you have to be a geek to have one. Oh, wow.

I listen to the show. No, that could be one. That's pretty geeky right there. I already informed Brian about this earlier in the week, but I did get to watch on the This Channel, which if you have. This or can....

Get access to it, and you listen to the show, you probably should watch this. Where is this? Because you keep bringing it up online, and I'm just like, where do I find this? It's on regular non-cable TV. Yeah, open air broadcast television.

And whoever's programming it, it's just. Like weird i mean they're like literally you watch this they're well they're they're probably a dork with a podcast somewhere because everything you tell me is on i'm like wow really like the only other place i hear about people talking about these movies is on other dorky podcasts right that level of geeky movies. Sleep away camp three three three not even one three and of course it had to have colon teenage wasteland like who even made that movie i don't know but i watched uh i watched the apple last last week and uh You know, I couldn't believe this was made in 1980. But it is a musical, and I tried to explain what it was like. And the only thing I can come up with is if you take Southland Tales, filmed in 1980, but it's all surrounding an American Idol competition, that's pretty much what it is.

And it's, you know, the winners of the competition and how they spiral down in this dystopian, music-filled... corporation-driven society. And it's a musical. I so want to watch this. Just for the sheer ridiculousness of it. And the only reason I had recently heard about it is it stars Captain Mary Stewart, who I was just...

She started talking about it. I was like, even as she was describing it to me, I'm like, holy shit, I need to find this movie. And then, like, little did I know, you brought it up randomly this week. I'm like, okay, now we need to watch this. Yeah, she actually did a pretty decent job for what it was.

And I think the film... doesn't take itself super seriously at the same time. So it, you can just say, okay, I thought at the beginning, I thought, Oh, what are they trying to make? You know? And, and after about five or 10 minutes, I was, I knew that this was a horrible movie. And as I got into it, I was like, you know, you know, this kind of works.

It makes it okay. It's so bad that it works. So yeah, if you can, if you can get your hands on a copy, I'd watch. I'd watch that. We need to find it.

And the, I guess the ultimate thing that Brian informed me was geeky was that I watched the third season of The Guild on Netflix. Yeah, that's great. To get to three seasons of a show that's a streamed television show about people whose lives are run by World of Warcraft is pretty bad. But it's extremely well written. You get your good fixes, you know, of characters.

And I think I most identify with the woman who is the stay-at-home mom that locks her kids behind the kiddie gate in the kitchen and tells them to feed themselves while she plays World of Warcraft. That all sounds fine to me. If you haven't watched The Guild, it's definitely worth it. And the episodes are. three minutes long, so a full season will take you two hours. Nice.

No, it's definitely worth watching. It seems fun. I've seen very little of it, but what I've seen, I actually really liked. Yeah, it's quite amusing. Is that it for you?

I think that's it. All right. Roll on into yours. Well, let's see. I watched something Predator-related, partially.

I didn't watch the whole thing. I didn't need to. I didn't want to. Okay. It was some. type of alien versus predator movie on the sci-fi channel oh which well it was a newer movie and it i'm trying to think it looked like it was made by sci-fi channel yeah.

I'm trying to decide if it was the last one because the last one is was it what is the last one requiem or yeah yeah that's it it's i haven't even watched it was pretty bad it's yeah the first one's iffy at best but yeah that second one looks like a nightmare. It's We still have all these costumes. We may as well film another. We can make $ 20, 000. That's about it.

I didn't even see anyone in the movie that I recognized. But like I said, I didn't watch it for very long. I didn't feel like I needed to at all. I wouldn't have either. I like that they were just cashing in on the fact that the new one came out.

What have we got laying around that we can play? Oh yeah, we still got rights to that. Throw it on whatever horrible channel we're on. Yeah, it was sci-fi, I'm pretty sure. Yep, doesn't surprise me.

Yep, that was. Erase that from my memory, but when you guys were talking about Predators, it came back up. The Predator's a fun guy. You know, he just needs a better mood. He reminds me of, like, Rolf from Muppet Babies or something.

I don't know. Okay. That might be geekier than anything we've said. I guess, yeah. I never hurt anybody, though.

Ralph. Rolf. Rolf. Rolf rarely ripped people's spines out. Yeah, I know.

Triumphantly held it over his head. You know. And his mouth is just straight and horizontal. It's not that freaky. Which works better with the hand motion.

Go ahead. Do it at home. I think it's just his floppy ears and the Predator's dreadlock things. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know why I've always thought that since I was a child. Yeah. Messed up childhood. Were you scared of dogs? No, I'm not scared of predators.

That's the problem. You like to grab predators and scratch them behind the ears. Oh, you're a good predator. Muppets are so cute. Predators are so cute.

Good boy. Good predator. Way to kill that dog. But the saddest thing, I was at a friend's house and her boyfriend yells, oh shit, predator's on. And I got really excited because I was thinking to catch a predator.

Ha ha ha. And then I was like, oh, it's this. Well, that ties into what we were thinking as we walked into the theater the other night. Yeah, I thought that if Chris Hansen just had just come on, he could take care of the Predator right away. I think that's a new spin that they need to go on with the new Predator movie.

Chris Hansen comes in and he's like, what are you doing? I was just going to talk to her. I didn't. I mean, I know her mom, and we were just going to hang out and wait until the mom got home. Yeah.

And my favorites on that show, a little off track, is when guys, they're like, I just wanted to come over here and lecture her about how wrong it is to meet older men off the internet. Oh. Okay. That works. And you bought some alcohol, too.

A 40-pack of condoms. Half the time, they don't bring those. Interesting. They're just going to kill her afterwards. What do they care?

Right. This could get bad really fast. Are you okay? They're sharpening up their blade going, that Chris Hansen motherfucker better not be there. I'm bringing my good knives tonight.

If I see him when I walk in the door, I'm just going to stab him in the face. Actually, my favorites, though, are the ones that are like, hey, I know you. Like, you know, you should be warned by now. Yeah, you really should know better at that point. Oh, I love that show.

I'm sorry, I couldn't talk. I had a drink in my mouth for almost five minutes because when he said, I'm just going to kill her afterwards. And then we all laughed and it was hilarious. And then I was like, hmm, there must be something horribly wrong with us. Well, I mean.

You know, one less thing to worry about if you're just going to kill her afterwards. She won't go tell Chris Hansen. Goodness. Oh, let's see. And last night, I had a sleepover.

You are 12 years old. Yes. We couldn't remember that game. Luckily, I lured you here from me via the internet. How old are you?

Come over and watch a movie with me. Is this on camera? He'll be here later. Hold on. It was our original plan to find that game that...

I can't remember it, but it was like... There's these pictures of these cute boys, like cute 12-year-old boys. And, you know... You draw cards and one of them is like. Mystery date.

I was going to say, there's not a door involved, is there? Yes, it was. The door was awesome. Yeah, we couldn't think of the name of it. My cousin had that when I was a kid and I loved the door part.

I was just always let down that there was a dorky guy on it. I was like, what the hell is this date? Where's the hot babes at? Come on. Yeah, the dud was always the coolest looking guy.

I was like, well, I'll at least hang out with this guy, but we're not going past first page. I played my aunts, and it was like the 1960s version. Yeah, that's what she had. The guy that was the bowling guy. I'm like, who the hell goes bowling?

That's not a good date. Like, they were all fucking Sochi's and shit. Like, I don't like these guys. These guys suck. Yeah.

And the guy, hang out. He's the dud. Oh, well. He's got glasses. Let's go hang out.

Let's go play video games, dude. You've never heard of them before, but you'll like them, believe me. Yeah we couldn't think of what that game was and it's not like it's probably still in existence today but would have made our sleepover a lot better so instead we went to red box and it took us a long time to pick out a movie usually everything. Was gone yeah because they all suck yeah so. It was like 12 30 and we're standing in this very dangerous part of town at a red box if we're like And we're trying to figure out a movie, and we just kept adding movies to our list.

And the first one was Australia. And then I was just like, I don't really want to watch this. I don't know why we put it on. Nobody really wanted to watch Australia. We ended up with Youth and Revolt and Boondock Saints 2, which we didn't watch Boondock Saints 2.

But I'd already seen Youth and Revolt, but I liked it. I thought it was funny. I know it's kind of ridiculous and would probably annoy most people, but the way they talked I thought was funny. The way they would, like, banter back and forth and, like, overly, like, dramatic kind of prose. I don't know how to describe it, but it was like watching an episode of Gilmore Girls, pretty much.

We'll see that, yeah. The teenagers are more eloquent than any. Adult can ever be. More well-spoken than, you know, most professors. Like, instead of someone saying, I'm thirsty, they would say something like, I could use a cold beverage right about now or something, you know, they just like make things way too complicated, but it's funny.

My favorite, I think the reason I like that movie so much is, well, it's, Steve Buscemi's in it. Well, that's always a plus. I didn't know that. Always. Gene Smart is in it.

Wow. Oh, God. Gene Smart. You're reaching back. I haven't heard that name in a while.

Don't do that. I love her. 92. She has a list of pickles on the Oblongs. I still watch that.

That's true. The Oblongs is awesome. I still watch all four episodes of that when it comes on adults. That they loop on constantly. Yeah.

That was a good show. God. But, uh. Yeah, it's a really funny movie. I don't know where I was going with that.

There is a phrase for that type of dialogue. It's called Diablo Cody. And now everybody hates that style of dialogue. So it might be the end of it right there. She had nothing to do with that.

But at this point, it's all been sort of. Yeah, that's true. I didn't think about that. It is very similar to Juno. I mean, I don't...

It was different. Ellen Page did it a little bit differently. And she sort of sells things a little better than some of these other half-assed actresses. And Juno, she was witty and funny, and I know people like that, so I didn't find it too hard to believe. And these kids are less animated, and it's not so much funny as just this ridiculous way that they talk.

Sometimes that stuff's real. Everybody wanted to call out that whole run of when everything got like that, especially Juno. But I'm like, some of that attitude is kind of real. I really do know kids that are that attitude. They may not be quite that well spoken about it, but they've got the attitude.

They do speak in weird, you know, ways that only their friends pick up on. So, I mean, a lot of it, I think, is a little more realistic than people want to realize. They're just all like, you know, old people now and they don't, they really are out of the loop. Damn kids. Damn kids don't talk like that.

Yeah. But that was the point of the movie. They're he was a very specific type of kid. He was weird and didn't fit in and was obsessed with Frank Sinatra and just like kind of a loser. And then she was pretty, but also strange in her own right.

Obsessed with like French music and movies and stuff like that. So they were not your average like. No, that's not your usual teenager. They would have gotten shunned and beaten up. They would have had the door closed in their favorite song.

Where's the bowling guy? I think the only reason I wanted to re-watch that movie because there's this part where she was talking about her boyfriend, Trent, and how he writes futuristic percussive poetry. And he's like, ah, I'm not familiar with futuristic percussive poetry. And she's like, I'll recite one of Trent's if you like me to. And then it's just like, Ting pong.

This isn't a direct quote because there's no way I can remember this, but it's like ting pong tin whistle skillet. It's hilarious. Okay. I didn't know I was writing those. Sometimes I write that stuff.

You have to watch it. It's funny. I didn't know I was a poet. So many people either hate the movie because they love the book or vice versa, but I've never read the book. Stop reading.

That's what I keep telling people. Just today. Wait for the movie. I was emailing somebody and went into that exact thing. I'm so tired of people bitching about book versus movie bullshit.

They're different. Get over it. Right. Everybody does that. And when I got here, we watched quite a bit of Criminal Minds.

I wonder why you didn't have time to watch Criminal Minds. I don't know. I wasn't even going to call you out. So yeah, I don't know. Do you want to go into your favorite parts of Criminal Minds?

Matthew Gray Goobler? There you go. Which I never will remember his name, but if you just tell me the dorky guy. You can call him Spencer Reed. I'm like, oh, that dorky guy with the long hair.

I either refer to him by his real name or I go, oh, my God, I'm Spencer Reed. I get all mystified on him. Oh, there you go. Sorry, Misty. She's not going to listen to this.

No, she won't listen. Yeah, she won't listen. She could give a rap. She's not on it. Why would she listen to it?

I don't even know her, and I can tell you that. But, no, actually, I just watch it and just go, oh, I wonder what Chandler thinks about this girl pulling a gun on everybody. I can't get past the fact that that girl should be Chandler's girlfriend right now. I can't get past the fact that that guy should be Greg on Darma and Greg. I guess I do that, too.

I was like, does Darma know you're doing this? Right. She thinks you just go to your work in your little office. As a lawyer. She doesn't know you've got, you know, like a big FBI bulletproof vest on darting around corners and shit.

Yeah. I think that's the reason why I couldn't even start to watch Showgirls. I was like, Jesse, what would Slater think? Yeah. It just ruined it for me before even the movie even started.

Not that there was anything to ruin it for. I was going to say, if you're thinking that it's going to be ruined at that point, you haven't seen Showgirls. Right. Wow. I haven't.

Oh, don't. Don't make me bust it out again because that was an epic episode, let me tell you. We're all still excited about that. Did you all watch Showgirls? Oh, yeah.

It was early on. That was one of the big kickoffs, so it's pretty exciting. Yikes. We just said yikes at the same time. Since we're talking about showgirls, I think I have something to admit.

Uh-oh. I know. No, not the. I never told you I want to be a dancer in Vegas. Brian went on.

A bit of a rant on that episode. Now here's the show geek listening to, talking about the show. Went on a little bit of a rant about how that was the only movie he'd ever walked out on. See? I was part of that troupe that walked out of the movie.

So I'll have to. Take my lashings for that. But I will have to interject in this moment that there were women involved that wanted to leave. Not because they were offended by the film. Wait, I went there with women? there was i don't know women.

Maybe just one woman but she was like no she wasn't there but i remember saying you know what i'm getting out of here and i think she needed a ride i think we all needed to ride. That's why yeah i i that was the reason. I was just like fine you guys suck so yeah no i'm not that i'm i. Don't if i remember i don't think you prompted i think i do remember who started the fuck this let's go right i won't call them out and they're not listening anyway but still i yeah i but i. I was part of that and i apologize so.

That as well you should yeah but again knowing you know the glutton for punishment that you are otherwise you probably would have sat there and watched the rest of it yeah not. In any perverted way just i wanted to see that was my thing you know i was like versace again. I was like i want to see where you're going with this nonsense i'm like how do you wrap up this ridiculous and they didn't go anywhere and they didn't really but you know so yeah it was a long time it's. So weird to me that people still even care about that movie I. Think it was so bad that you have to care.

No, it's... I mean, really. I think you sort of appreciate the epic level of bad that I do. You will have to watch this. I'll watch it again.

I don't care. I have to watch Spice World, I mean. Spice World's a good movie. It's well above and beyond Showgirl. Showgirl is just legitimately bad.

Is it like R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet Bad? Yeah, it's more closer to that level of ridiculous bad. Where Spice World's actually more clever than people will ever admit to. because they think you know because it was so flash in the pan they don't want to admit to liking it truthfully it's pretty well written and it's kind of clever in the way it makes fun of themselves but nobody will admit to liking it other than people on this show because most of us are actually on board with it but. Oh lord i think that was pretty much.

It for me Should we wrap up? Are we still talking about your geek talk? I don't know. I think we are. We've tangented 14 times.

Sorry about that. That's kind of normal if you haven't noticed. No, I didn't notice. But I didn't want to be part of that, but, you know, we wanted to keep. It nice and clean.

It happens. You know, that's how we operate, man. All right, then we will take a break and be back with the buzz of the week. Fantastic. Ach, hello there.

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Get Mystery Date. Hey kids, are you ready for Mid-America's largest genre film festival? That's right, it's time for the 6th annual Fright Night Film Fest. Coming to you July 30th through August 1st in Louisville, Kentucky. Featuring special guests, director, producer, Oscar winner, and living legend, Roger Corman.

Plus a Dawn of the Dead reunion, a Night of the Creeps reunion, the Girls of the Nightmare on Elm Street films, plus a 25th anniversary Fright Night reunion. All that plus the Georgetown drive-in experience, live music, and more horror merchandise than you'll know what to do with. And even an appearance from the Movie Meltdown Gang. So come on out and join us July 30th through August 1st. For more details on the show, up to your guest list, or to get your tickets, go to Fright Night Film Fest dot com.

Fright Night Film Fest is my favorite film festival. Hands down. Attention shoppers! I trust you've got credit cards to pay for all that stuff. Hi, this is Captain Mary Stewart, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown.

All right, we are back with What's the Buzz? Groovy. The people that normally make noises or do something are gone. Well, later we'll have to film it. I'll just have to watch Jesus Christ Superstar on my own.

Good. You should. It's nice. Good. It rocks.

All right, so as movie fans continue to recover from the possibility that MGM's financial situation may prevent us from ever seeing the two awesome Hobbit movies the way that it's going, there's a whole other issue that comes up this week with the other hugely popular franchise. Maybe the only other one they have. I don't even know at this point. But, yeah, we've discussed it before. James Bond.

Hmm. Just a few months ago, they were still in prep to have the third Daniel Craig, James Bond movie. They had it lined up, directed by Sam Mendes, script by Peter Morgan, so they were bringing in all these big, super high-caliber names. Well now, not only is the project on hold, but James Bond 23 may be totally scrapped altogether at this point. Now, at some point, they'll probably find a way to revive it, and, you know, somebody will pick it up and they'll put it out.

But, I mean, if you... There's a very small window of time on these bonds. So, I mean, everybody sort of liked, at least the first time out, everybody liked Daniel Craig. So if they put this off for much longer, he's not going to be James Bond anymore. They're perpetually trying to throw in, you know, younger, younger, got to keep him, you know, because Roger Moore got so old towards the end that ever since then, they're like, by the time you hit, you know, 40-ish, time to go, we're throwing you out of there.

So... If they push it back a little more, they're going to have to start... They mention on here that by the time they get around to it, they'll be considering Robert Pattinson for the role. Oh, great. How many people just shuddered a little bit?

I did. Anyway, so, yeah. I mean, what the hell? I don't understand what's going on with the whole MGM situation. I mean, when you've got huge...

That's what makes no sense. Huge properties. I mean, The Hobbit and James Bond. Has anything made more money than these things in the last, you know, hundred years? I mean, shit.

I think they could throw anything out, and people would say it was great. I have to admit, I'd never really watched a James Bond film that I really even cared about. They're all there to be entertaining. I mean, there's a few along the way that are better than the others. There's definitely some early on, and even, I guess, a few of the later ones.

I watched Quantum of Solace. That's the only one I've ever seen. See, I still haven't even made it all the way through that. I was. It's just... it's more complicated than it needs to be.

Again, that's what I think they need to do is tighten up because that script, like midway in, I was just like, I don't care. Like, I'm not sure what he's doing, but I don't really care either. So I'm like, they really, I mean, the old scripts were pretty dumb and, you know, but it kind of works for that type of movie. I mean, you watch some of the Roger Morwens and you're just like, really, this is the plot of this movie. Right.

Okay. This is fun. Blow some more shit up. So, Yeah, I think they got to the point where, especially after the first, you know, the Casino Royale was pretty decent and everybody liked it and they got on board with, you know, this new Bond. So they wanted to get like, oh, let's write this big complicated plot.

And I just don't care. Like they got so convoluted and brought in all these crazy little looping around. I mean, every 10 minutes he was on a different continent. It was like they constantly had him globetrotting even more. I mean, they've always done that, but this one was just like out of control.

I was like, I don't even know why you're going there. I don't care. And then I gave up and quit watching. So I'll finish it eventually, but that isn't even the issue. What I wanted to address is what the hell's going on with MGM and why is it that somebody who's sitting on properties this big, what I don't understand is why is it somebody hasn't just come in and taken them at this point, just taken over?

Because almost everything in the world at this point is owned by about seven companies. So why hasn't Time Warner stepped in and been like, you know what, MGM, we're just going to go and take over completely or Sony or somebody that's just sitting on a truckload of money anyway, one of the few people remaining that still have money that just come in buy it just for these properties almost to realize, hey, this is where we're going to make our money from. I'd like to think being an optimist that they're somebody that's sitting back in an office going, hell no, I'm not going to let you touch this and we're not going to put out crap. And we're going to maybe– and I can be wrong about that. The 007 films, because like I said, I've not really watched them.

To me, I would care enough about The Hobbit that I would at least hope it would be good to put out. So maybe there's some executive at a desk saying, you. Know what, no. We're going to hold on to this and we may fail and we may not put it out for 10 years, but it's going to be good if we do it. So that would be the optimist, but I'm sure it's not.

I'm sure it's money and petty money. Stuff that's that's what made no sense is they like with both of these they had the like dream team set up it's like you had the best director possible to do the hobbit and you bring in an oscar winning director to do this next james bond movie so it's like this is it i mean you're not going to get a better high-end version of either of these and yet they let those just go to hell so it's like Now if they do it, it'll be just, oh, well, let's make a buck. But again, the way Hollywood operates, I'm surprised somebody hasn't come in. Now this is one that they said just happened recently, which is sort of along those lines, but it's just them buying it off. I'm surprised.

I'm thinking I can't believe somebody hasn't just come in and bought MGM at this point. Some huge corporation just to salvage it and make what money they can off of it. But no, this one they said that they're considering selling off the rights to The Hobbit to New Line Cinema and Warner Brothers for the extra cash just to help the studio recover as a whole. But I like that the story here says, in Monopoly terms, that's sort of like auctioning off Boardwalk to build houses on Baltic. I was like, that's pretty clever, huh?

Nice. So, yeah, I don't understand. I think that's the key to it. We don't understand. Yeah, nothing they do makes sense to me.

They're greenlighting, you know, Marmaduke, but they can't get money to put The Hobbit together? You know, there's just something wrong there. Have you seen that awful, awful movie that's coming out? It's like, called Cats and Dogs, The Revenge of. Kitty, Galore.

And they'll make a ton of money on it. Yes, they will. That's right. Nickelodeon and Disney will put it on. Well, maybe not Disney, but Nickelodeon will put it on.

Yeah, Nickelodeon will put it on. But did you see the first one? It's weird that they're doing a sequel to a movie from like 10 years. Ago yeah the cats and dogs movie yeah. That one wasn't terrible like i remember again being at the store as we were we ran that because it was pg and we could run it all day long so i inadvertently ended up seeing that repeatedly and the thing is i was like for what it is it's way more entertaining than most things aimed at kids and it had a lot of jokes that were sort of you know worked in for the adults so it wasn't meant to be a full-on dumb kids movie at the time And it also was before the level of CGI animals that is now rampant in every movie in the world.

So it's like, it's funny looking at that old one. That old one looks like a fucking treat to watch compared to the, just the trailer. Like I can't even make it through the trailer on this new one because it just reeks of Alvin and the chipmunks and Marmaduke and Garfield and like every bad CGI animal movie. And it's like, that's why they're making it. And it's no, you know, no surprise that they're cranking this thing out now.

But, It's sad that just in that small span of time, it's taken such a left turn on these movies that are just horribly bad. And people keep taking their kids. Yes. Because it'll shut their kid up for an hour and a half, and they might be able to doze off. That's what it is.

I mean, you're always safe with family movies because there's always a market for it, and you're guaranteed to not just sell one ticket, but two or three or four. You get multiple tickets out of everybody that sets foot in there. I think when I have kids, I'm not going to let them watch kids' movies. I'm going to sit them down and force them to watch, like, Fellini films only. These poor, messed-up kids.

My daughter loves, you know, The Last Unicorn and The Iron Giant. So, you know, kids are smart enough. They figure out what good movies are. They see, you know, their daycare takes them once a week to second-run... free movies, I think, just so they don't have to watch them. And, you know, she comes home and, I mean, of course, every movie's good, but she doesn't want to re-watch the bad ones.

So I think they, you. Know, well, my nephew, I was just talking with him before I came here, and he was talking about characters from Barrel Hill's Chihuahua. Yeah. And I started, I was making fun of him, of course, because it's Beverly Hills Chihuahua. And he goes, what?

It's a good movie. And he actually had a defense of how, why it was good. And, you know, this is the kid that thought Flubber was a great movie. So he's evolved at least at 15 now to know that, you know, there are some redeeming qualities in this movie, even though it's a crappy movie. Dog movie.

I mean, I almost appreciate that because if anybody appreciates finding the good things in a terrible movie, it's me. So yeah, it's good to know that, you know, somebody out there, hopefully kids growing up are smart enough to see what's bad. And even if they have to keep watching this because parents keep taking them there or their daycare, right. Yeah. They start to weed through and find out what's good and what's bad.

And, and, I think it's kind of cool that he had a defense too, that people aren't just going to go like, no, it was good. We'll back it up with something. Then if you really think it is, then give me the rundown. And that's, it's kind of good that any kid out there is, is willing to take that upon themselves, even if it is Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Just most high school kids aren't going to admit that they would watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

So I was kind of, that's kind of cool in a dorky way. I give him points for that. So, but the new Steve Carell movie, The one where he's the evil. No. Oh, the anime.

Despicable Me. Yeah. That one looks like it might be worthwhile. Anything that the evil character brings in adopted children, it looks like. It might be.

It might have its good moments. I'm not sure. I can't tell. There's so many of those they're putting out now that you start to lose track. And then you start to see.

It really is the ones that look awesome right off the bat. You're like, oh, this is a good one. And you're like, oh, Pixar. And then there's so many other ones. You're just like.

I think I'm going to hold off on that one. I don't know. Sometimes movies like that will surprise you. I guess I like anything that's monster or horror related. Which they're doing a.

Lot of those. I like Igor. It was awesome. Yeah. See, it looked more interesting than most of those.

And. I don't know, just any movie like that about, like, a monster or something gross. Like, I'm all for it. Anything about, like, anything scary. You know, like I said at one of our previous episodes, like, I was raised on the Beetlejuice cartoon, the Addams Family cartoon, and Ah, Real Monsters.

That shaped who I am as a person, so. That's my children's new favorite cartoon is the Ah, Real Monsters. Yeah, that's it. Four and six, and they just think that Ickes is the coolest thing ever. Nice.

Yeah, they've been watching that the last few weeks. So we'll get away from these terrible movies. Okay, I'm sorry. This one is actually something I'm actually looking forward to on every level. The property itself, the cast, and the director.

So they have signed up. Okay, well, I still need to address, dude needs to realize his name's Ralph. I don't care. Ralph Fiennes needs to realize what country he's in. I was also thinking I may just start calling him the Wraith.

Wraith Fiennes. That'd be cool. Wraith. So, yeah, the Wraith Fiennes. Colin Firth, Gary Oldman, Michael Fassbender have all signed on to star in this adaptation of John LaCarre's Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

All of that. You know, his novels are kind of awesome. Everybody involved is sort of a high-caliber actor. Mm-hmm. And they're also the it will be the English language debut of director Tomas Alfredson, whose vampire drama Let the Right One In, which we were just discussing a week or so, is an awesome movie.

So watching him become a bigger director is really cool and he deserves it. And I want to see him, you know, crossover and be able to make. These big movies that hopefully is stuff he wants to make and not just things that will be thrown at him because he's a popular name at this point. I kind of would prefer if he would stick with making his movies. Yeah. it's probably in everyone's best interest because they would be less messed with I.

Think once any director starts making Americanized movies it kind of ruins it not always but. Not always I mean you've got del Toro is one of those that I mean went for a long time made Spanish language Did a couple of them, and then went back and did, I mean, he still, yeah, kind of crosses back and forth. And even now, I mean, I still haven't seen that last one, but I mean, he's still putting out pretty, even for it being one of his lesser movies, it's still pretty impressive. So, I mean, there are a few that can do that, but yeah, there's a lot of them that once they've come to America, they've just ruined their career, so. Right.

I don't know. I think based on what I've seen in that, you know, let the right one in, he's talented enough that I hope he also has sense enough to steer clear of that kind of garbage and just, you know, already this seems like a pretty good high caliber project. So it's like, I, I kind of want to see it. It's, you know, a retired intelligence expert is brought back to help, you know, find a spy. So, I mean, it's kind of a cool spy story that, you know, if done right, those are awesome.

So, it's like it is one I would like to see them do a good job, and everybody involved sounds cool. So, as much as we usually throw out stories that are us bitching, this was one that was actually a good story I wanted to put out there. That does sound good. Why is the world so obsessed with spies again? Because they're real again?

I guess. All of a sudden? Yeah, that's true. That's probably what pushed this right over. Those two Russian spies that were recently arrested.

I'm sure this was still in the floundering stage until that happened. They were like, oh, quick, green light. Get this out as soon as possible. Every other movie that's coming out is spy related. Even children's movies, you know like that cat dog thing.

Oh spy spy that was. By next door what was the jackie chan oh this baby sitting spy whatever the. Hell that was that was bad i think the spy. I think that came from probably the Vin Diesel movie. Yeah, the pacifier.

It does look exactly like it. It's the Jackie Chan version of that movie. Oh, yeah. So that Tinker Tailor at Soldier Spy will start filming in London in October. Anything with that unusual of a name, unless it's Percy Jackson, it's probably going to be pretty good.

Percy Jackson. God, I kind of want to watch that movie, but I just can't get past Percy Jackson. It should be like an old Motown thing or something. I don't know. I think I have his 45s.

Exactly. Percy Jackson. Ow, come on. All right. You know what?

You love it. It's time for the remakes of the week. Aren't you excited? You get to be here in the middle of the remakes of the week or reimaginings or repurposing. There's there's one that veers off a little, but who cares?

It's ridiculous, too. So since they continually remake the same stories over and over again, it's a little surprising to discover that there has never actually been a live action English language movie version of Hans Christian Andersen's A Little Mermaid. So as well-known as a fairy tale that is, it's kind of weird that they've never done it. Obviously, the 89 Disney version is huge and became an immediate classic almost. And then Ponyo recently.

Yeah, Ponyo. And I guess they reference Splash here. I was going to say, what about Splash? The closest live-action version that we've got. What about that movie that has, I don't know, those girls from the...

Disney Channel or Nickelodeon Channel. Aquamarine. Yes, Aquamarine. What about Aquamarine? Who was in that movie?

That one girl from all those shows. I think Emma Roberts is in it, though. Yeah. Who soon will be a big name. Yeah.

It's just a dorky game. Her show. If they keep telling you enough sooner or later, you'll have to be like, oh, well, I guess she is a star. Her show on Nickelodeon was cute. So, yeah, the director behind this new Little Mermaid is Joe Wright, whose first three films were 2005's Pride and Prejudice, the Oscar-winning Atonement, and last year's The Soloist.

Wow. So this is. Pretty high caliber. Yeah, they're going, like, high end on this. So I'm like, well...

Good, that's the way to go. Yeah, it's like, I don't know what to think of this idea, but if somebody was going to do it and do not a bad version of it, I could see this, you know, being the guy to give it to. Yeah. Is it going to have Amy Adams in it? If it does, it won't work.

Now, with that director... Maybe... What's her name? Saoirse Ronan? I think she's...

He's actually working on a new one that's like a... Which, oddly enough, a teenage assassination thriller called Hannah that has her... She's the lovely bones girl. So I'm thinking, yeah, that's probably... She might be still right about the right age.

I hated her in that movie. I hated that movie. That movie was terrible. I hated her. That movie angrified me.

I just wanted it to be over. And I hate when people are like, oh my god, I love that movie, The Lovely Bones. I'm like, fuck you. Fuck that movie. You're stupid.

No offense, people. Well, as long as you're being open-minded about it. That's right. Yeah, exactly. All that matters.

So yeah, little live action, little mermaid. I don't know what to think, but I think. If people expect it to be little mermaid, it's gets going to fail. So if it's going to be a very good plot driven, truly Hans Christian Anderson adaptation, which if you've done pride and prejudice, then you can handle it. But I, yeah, I think, I think people can handle it if they, as long as they don't think, Where's Ariel and where's Flounder or whatever.

Prince Eric or whoever the hell it was in that one. What was the lobster's name? Sebastian. Sebastian, yeah. I'll be sad if there's no Sebastian.

There better be Sebastian. Yeah. I'm not even going to say it. All right. So Mad Max is back again and again and again.

We discussed the... reboot that they've been trying to do for a while back. But yeah, Australian director George Miller has been trying to get that one off the ground for quite a while. So it's taken so long that I guess at this point he's decided when it finally starts filming, he's going to make two movies. In addition to Mad Max Fury Road, which is the one he's been working on forever now, he's decided he's also going to make Mad Max Furiosa. There's no word what Furiosa might be about, but I guess basically if you've got, you know, people on set, we got all the blowing up cars still on fire over there.

Let's, you know, let's keep filming. Film it from another angle and make another movie. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, again, this is one of those that. I don't know that it's such a horrible idea because it's been so long that only the hardcore Mad Max fans really care about those old movies anymore.

I think there really is a whole new generation of number one kids and number two, just people who probably didn't care that much about it. Like weren't into that kind of movie back then that if you make it a shiny enough version, you could sucker them into theaters to go see this thing. Plus there's that whole end of the world 2012 thing going on anyway that everybody's, that's just everybody ever you know the what was the denzel washington movie and oh the book of eli book of eli yeah all that's just it's it's. Perfect timing for it i think i mean it's always a fun area to make a movie anyway i always i always like those movies but yeah it's funny that they've sort of come back around to being kind of popular and mainstream so again it's the right timing they could make it work um they've got tom hardy who was the handsome bob from rock and rolla and the title character in bronson so he's he's become kind of like yeah he's moving up in the genre rank so i mean i guess this is the crowning achievement if you get to be mad max you've got three movies probably yeah he's the new mad max and uh they've got charlize theron signed on to do something to be herself in a movie so she hasn't done anything Yeah, I think at this point she better cash in, not vice versa.

But she's a recognizable name. So, I mean, again, with all this thrown at it, I think, and it almost gives me a little hope that it is still George Miller. It isn't them just handing it to, you know, who's our terrible director we want to go with here. I mean, can we just go with the one we always go by at Michael Bay's? Like, don't hand it to Michael Bay's?

No, I wouldn't even think. He's too big for that. I was thinking more of... That would be a lot of cool explosions. I mean, you know, there's some times where, you know, Michael Bay directing a.

I mean, stuff would be exploding everywhere. It would. But no, it would be bad. It would be bad. It would have Ben Affleck in it.

It would be awesome. Yeah. So, yeah, if they give it to just Brett Ratner or somebody else that's just one of their go-to, here, make a reboot, make a bad, you know, property that already exists kind of movie, it would worry me more than it is George Miller. His original idea, he's coming back and has been toying with these ideas for years now. So, I mean, I would hope in that way he would take a little time and do something useful with it.

It could also backfire, and he's been building up so long that it's just going to be an explosion of mess. It's just going to be, ah, jam everything into these movies because I've been working on it my entire life. So, I mean, it could backfire. But I still think I've got a little more hope that he's involved and should be directing the way it looks. Yeah.

I think that's kind of cool. As long as we don't get a Mel Gibson cameo, I'll be happy. No, I'm sure. If he plays his cards right, he's gunning for it. They were in talks.

I still haven't heard of them confirming that Mel was going to do it, but I'm sure he's going to be there. He'll be the old fat guy on the throne when they get to the end of the movie and the new king of the broken down city is old fat Mel Gibson. There's a movie that it's trying to be like every movie ever made, including Mad Max and then like some... Like Lord of the Rings kind of movie and like vampire movie and then the Warriors. It's called Doomsday.

Wow. Not the Warriors thrown in? Well, just some of the people look like. Like the other Doomsday? Like the one that came out like that?

I think it has like the Kate Beckinsale ripoff girl. Like if they can't get Kate Beckinsale, they get this girl. Like, Rona Mitra or Rona Mitra or something like that. But, I mean, is this the one that came out, like, two years ago or something? Okay, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that one was, like, I remember. It was actually a really good movie. Yeah, it's, um, the director's the guy that did The Descent. So, I mean, it actually, yeah.

But it's, like, every movie ever made. It's sort of, like, a bad idea, but they gave it to a talented person, so it ends up being kind of cool. I still haven't watched it, but just the trailer was, like, yes, this is very Mad Max. This is very, like, dead-end drive-in. Yeah, that's.

Yeah that's what it is like just the people's uh costumes and stuff like that it reminds me of like the warriors are dead and driving which is such an awesome movie. Games in baseball uniform yeah. Roller skates no they're just nothing will save your ass in the future like roller skates yeah exactly oh lord so yeah i don't know that that's another one i it could potentially be kind of cool could go down the wrong road but we'll have to see how it goes All right. And, uh, to round it out here, the, uh, the relatively so-so box office results on the TV remakes like McGruber, like McGruber and A-Team don't really appear to be intimidating the producers in Hollywood because, um, they're, they're still mining all the 80s sitcoms that they can or, or any bad hour drama action show that they can because they've, decided that DreamWorks and producer Walter Parks are currently working on a movie version of the 80s action drama The Fall Guy.

Oh, wow. I have to say, I kind of like the fall guy. I'm not going to lie. I mean, you got a Hollywood stuntman moonlighting as a bounty hunter. What's bad about that?

And you got Lee Majors in the middle of it. And at the time, Heather Thomas was quite on top of my list. I was never one for Cheesecake Girls, but for some reason, like that one worked okay when I was 12 or however old I was when that show was on. All of a sudden it was like, hey, those posters they're selling at Spencer's look pretty cool. Are there any stuntmen in Hollywood anymore?

That was going to be my question, though. I mean, we've already had a couple of, you know, I'm thinking, you know, a stuntman movie could be cool. But I was like, we had Hooper and we had the stuntman. These are all the 70s and 80s versions of it. So, like, now in the post-CGI, you know, green screen effect world...

I mean, how much does that change the life of a stuntman, period? Right. But on top of that, also, how much does the technological computer nerdery change the cool, old, rough character that we envision as this stuntperson? It's like, does that change it now that he's hooked up on wires in front of a green screen, just kind of bouncing back and forth? I mean, he's not actually...

I mean, there are still plenty of projects that they are throwing themselves off a building and dodging fireballs. There's a lot of them out there still working like that, but... It's a very different world than it was in, you know, 70s, early 80s. They were still making all this stuff. So I don't know.

Is it possible to do a version of this now and still have it be, you know, that cool, you know, rough character that we all want it to be? Or is it just going to come off kind of lame? Yeah. As long as they don't go down the Get Smart path, I'll probably be happy. See, that's what they do with all those shows.

They turn around and try to make it a comedy that realizes it's a comedy. I mean, most of them were funny back in the day, and they had no clue why they were so funny. But now that they're doing it, and it's so obvious and so aware of itself as to the funny aspect of it all, it's not funny anymore. Tell a joke. Wait for the laughter.

Face the audience. Cheese at the camera. That's what I was going to say. The entire cast winking at the audience just drives me nuts. It's just not cool.

Now, what I was thinking was, I mean, it could be a good idea for a movie. But what almost pains me to say this is it occurred to me what would almost be more interesting. And I hate thinking this because I hate this lame, beaten-into-the-ground format. but I don't know that this exists. Uh, why isn't there a reality show about stunt people? Yeah.

Because to me, it's like people who fucking repo cars. That's what I'm saying. I was like, but if somebody has an interesting life, it's like, if you could follow around one or like a group of stunt people and like, you know, actually like from movie to movie. So it's going to be a different scenario. It's going to be different, you know, backdrops and other characters and you can have celebrity guest stars.

I'm like, who hasn't made this show what idiots out there making you know small people buying shoes what was the what show was that they had a little person but they were watching her buy shoes and i'm. Like is that a little couple but no they have one about little people like rescuing pitbulls that i would totally watch i'm like i mean it's. Cool that you can go buy shoes but why do we. Have to watch yeah they have these stupid fucking spin-offs of these Apparently there's all these like housewives shows. It's just these like gross old cougars who have no lives just being like, catty conniving bitches in their huge houses while their husbands work and they just like sit around and like yeah.

While their husbands sleep with. Younger yeah they just sit around and get plastic surgery and lay by the pool and tan but then they get fucking spinoffs. It's like get a bad mouth at but that's so soap opera yes it will work just fine yeah. Then those women get spinoffs i think there's this one show i was watching bravo because i like top chef i watch it all. The time You're my new friend.

That's my favorite show. I mean, some of the reality shows in Bravo are really good. Like, I like the work of art. It's kind of stupid, but I just don't like reality. The format.

I'm just, I'm done with it. I rarely liked it at all. But I mean, if there was something that seemed kind of like a, someone's life, who's actually interesting enough to follow them around, you know, you're watching them get almost blown up or jump off a car or something like that. So, I mean, that seemed like a good idea. Things like top chef and things.

It's like a game show competition thing. That's why I like those. But, I'm done with those two. There's this one on Bravo called Bethany Getting Married. I guess she was just some, I don't know who she is, but I think she was probably just some dumb housewife from one of those shows or something, maybe.

I don't know. I mean, I might be wrong, but it's just like, this is the dumbest fucking thing ever. Like, you have a really ugly face. Why do we want to follow you around and watch you try on maternity dresses, like, for a whole hour every day? We don't.

I don't know. Oh God. I don't know. I just, I don't like so many ideas of all these reality shows, but that one occurred to me as like, if there was ever going to be one, why not this one? And why are they throwing money at all these stupid ideas?

And to my knowledge, if anybody knows of one out there, Hey, let me know. But I, yeah, I've never seen anything similar to this and it seems kind of cool. So Yeah. Instead, we'll probably get a horrible, cheesing at the camera, Fall Guy movie with Steve Carell. Or The Rock, I don't know.

Probably The Rock. More than likely. Vin Diesel would be perfect. Oh, God, no. I don't like Vin Diesel.

I'd rather watch The Rock. So, yeah, I don't know. That's a horrible idea for... I don't know. Again, I like the old show.

If they could do it right, I'd be okay with it. But I'm afraid they're not going to go the stuntman drama version of it. They're going to go the cheesy Brady Bunch movie version. So, yeah. That's what I'm afraid of.

Starsky and Hutch. Dukes of Hazzard. Fuck. They ruined another small part of my childhood. Yeah.

What's wrong with people? Quit screwing up these perfectly good retarded shows and making them more retarded. Right. why isn't there an alf show or alf. Movie yet don't don't invite it jesus. It's gonna happen i mean it is it's gonna be a girl cgi like garfield movie but why hasn't it happened it is it's probably in production right now i had.

A theory that that that uh alf was just like garfield alf is basically garfield but an alien so i think they meant to make. A puppet yeah instead of being a cat. That's how they were to make a puppet and really did a bad job like let's just make it an alien. This wood is gonna be a cat. But i don't know what i can't remember because it's been so long but was he like an operated puppet or was there like a really small person inside.

No it was a hand yeah It was behind the couch. The whole, I mean, they had better ones that you could see him sitting on the couch or something, but I mean, you could see his feet, but most of the time it was a hand doing everything. Yep. Which I appreciate that. Especially now.

I long for those days. It's the sad part that I'm like, man, why can't more shows be like Alf? That's sad. Yeah. Didn't think I'd hear myself say that ever.

The aquaponics were pretty good. The neighbors, they worked. That was about the best characters on the show. I just like that he was from Melmac. Oh, Lord.

So, I guess that will wrap up the first half here. All right. As we wrap up part one, we will invite you to come back and join us for the second entry in our Greedo-esque triple feature. Come back and join us for The Cremators. Sounds awesome.

Sounds awesome. So does Blood Mania, but we learned the hard way. Not so awesome. Come back and join us. Well, I'm not the kind.

To kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah I've never been with anything less than a nine So fine I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo But somehow they just don't end up as mine It's a death defying life I lead I take my chances I die for living. In the movies and TV But the hardest thing. I ever do is watch my leading lady kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee. I might fall from a tall building. I might roll a brand new car.

Cause I'm the unknown. Stuntman that made Redford such a star. I've never spent much time in school, but I taught ladies plenty. It's true, I hire my body out to pay. Hey, hey, I've gotten burned over Cheryl Teague's blown up old rock and welch.

But when I wind up in the hay, it's only hay, hay, hay. I might jump an open drawbridge or Tarzan from a vine. Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine. They'll never make me president, but I got the best girls, ladies. Some days I've got them as far as the eye can see.

A morning dive with Jackie Smith, I crash in the night with Cheryl. But in the end, they never stay with me. Me. I might fall from a tall building so Bert Reynolds don't get hurt. I might leave a mighty canyon so he can't quit and flirt.

While that smooth talker's kissing my girl, I'm just kissing dirt. Yes, I'm the loneliest stuntman that made a lover out of dirt. This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.