85.2: Take out his sex upon her…the Blood Mania way!

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. It's showtime folks. Enjoy the show. Hello, this is Peter Mayhew, listening to Movie Mountain Down.

It's time for Sofa Theater. Good morning, Daddy. What took you so long, Victoria? You heard my buzzer. Unless you're deaf.

Now, Daddy, relax. You mustn't get yourself excited. You know what Dr. Cooper said. Dr.

Cooper. Thinks he's the world's greatest doctor. If he treats all his patients like this, my clinic's finished. I should think you'd be grateful. He saved your life.

Saved my life. By any two-year med student could have diagnosed my condition. Will you stop your fussing and eat? You probably poisoned it. Daddy.

Don't daddy me. I could choke to death on my coffee and you wouldn't shed a tear. Now, daddy, you must relax. We don't want to make Dr. Cooper unhappy.

You've been after Craig Cooper for years and he won't give you a tumble. One of the few pleasures I have left in life is watching you trying to sink your hooks into him. Papa, dear, eat your breakfast before it gets cold. I was like. Uh, we're the professors of film school.

We are teaching everything you need to learn about cinema, motherfuckers. This movie is an example of what not to ever do. We'll get to that. And that's pretty much all I have to say. Oh, no.

There's plenty to talk about. Let's start talking about this movie so we can all erase it from our memory. Oh, I've watched this many times. I'm going to keep watching. It made me appreciate the movie Terror a lot more.

It made me appreciate Heartbeams. Welcome to Movie Meltdown Sofa Theater. Once again, I am Brian. This is Roger. Joni.

Marlena. Is that your new signature call out now? Yeah. Tony. Shout out to yourself.

That's awesome. Yeah. Shout out to me. Shout out to me. Tony.

There's like a little imaginary rainbow. She's doing some sort of wacky hand motion that goes along with the Tony. Color sparks are shooting out. I think there's birds braiding your hair. Yeah.

Nice. Sort of Disney operation, isn't it? all right there's uncle remus. I don't know let's move. On i was gonna say something but nothing good will come from it so i'm gonna shut the hell up now yeah all right welcome back to the uh first installment of uh our trilogy of terror here the uh grito bloody grito rundown This week's Sofa Theater feature is Blood Mania. The year is 1970.

Director Robert Vincent O'Neill. And they plot... Again, here's IMDb for this fun. A sex-crazed nympho helps speed along her father's death so she can use the inheritance to help out her depraved boyfriend. With that, a huge spoiler alert, because if you don't want to know what's going on, we're going to dissect this... and ruin everything that doesn't make sense already.

So, yeah, spoiler alert has been thrown out there. That's the opposite of what actually happened. In the movie. No, some of that happened, and then a lot of other randomness. So, all right, where would you like to begin?

The name. Go ahead. Roger, you yelled this out several times during the movie. Go ahead and say it. Where's the blood?

Where is it? There's none hardly at all, except for one scene at the end of the movie. I expected something like, I feast on your innards or corpse maniac or something. Some sort of movie that's just buckets of blood, violence everywhere. And this is Apartment 3G, the movie.

Glorify. Pretty much. It's like a soap opera. Yeah, this is very much... And it's weird because...

It's terrible. It's very horror-esque, but at the same time, I stopped to think about it. I'm like, there's really very little horror. What it's basically a better mixture of is a soap opera and a porno. Yeah.

Because... Yeah, the drama is soap opera-like. The rest of the action going on is all sexual. So the horror end of it is very late to the game and pretty minimal, really. They just wanted something for everybody.

I guess. It makes sense. Like the flashback that the movie started out with. Or dream sequence. Yeah, it seemed really promising at first.

Yeah, it seemed kind of scary, like Dracula maybe. Mm-hmm. The animation in the front had the name. That was awesome. One of the best title sequences ever.

That first Blood Mania title is awesome. Watch it just for that. And then turn it off. And then go to the credits. So we'll we'll get to the end i'd say that last 15 minutes we'll save for its own little section at the end here but but along the way i don't know there's there's um again it really does fall into the uh the porno plot line i mean everything that goes on is just like about as loosely pieced together as you render him you know especially at this era porno where it's just sort of like the pool boy is there hey the pool boy is there let's get naked.

She jumps in and he runs away for some reason you're one of those yeah you're one of those. I've heard about people like you like okay well dig it kid shit yeah you'd think you'd run with that what kind of he's running. Away and like i don't know if he was pulling his pants. Down yeah or just holding them on his butt it was well it was like he was pulling them up but i was like i think her hands were on top the whole time so how did they get down i guess when you get out of the pool sometimes you know yeah water i guess that was it because it fills your pockets i don't think she did it wait it was very weird down yeah. Sex craze nympho i don't even she didn't really have any sex in this movie did she i slept for most of it nice.

No well i don't know about nympho but i'll tell you what i the assessment i made of pretty much the entire cast here they're all sluts yeah jesus christ At any given moment, they'll be like, okay, let's go. Any random person, especially our main dude here. He's the doctor. He will sleep with anybody that walks in the room. He don't care.

Except for that one girl. Except for the girl who actually wants him the most of all. Yeah, she really sort of gets screwed over. Yeah, really. And what was that whole scene about?

I miss that scene. This scene just takes so long. All the dialogue is like, it takes so long to get out. Everything is so slow paced. I don't know.

I kind of dug at their sex scene when he got all drugged up. No, it was kind of cool. It was kind of like the wall for a second. I was like, whoa. Was that a...

I don't know. Was that a place? Nothing fit together. It was like. There was a renaissance fair.

Oh, that's later. A beach scene. We'll stick with the sex scene first. Because there's the main sex scene with the Maria chick. And she.

It's like just silhouettes and shadowy bodies sort of doing weird things. It's very artistically shot, which some of it was alright, I will say. Some of the shots were good. I'll give him... It's Robert Vincent O'Neill, who did a lot of very weird... sort of drive-in kind of movies.

I was going to do, let's see, the other stuff that are notable. He actually was the writer on Vice Squad, which is sort of infamous in the genre crew. Deadly Force. And he wrote all three of the Angel movies. He directed the first two of them, Angel and Avenging Angel.

So he definitely knows his whole little genre here. And that's what I'll give him credit for. He's got visual style. but it's almost like you didn't know what to do with it. Like there are several shots along the way that are really cool, like really artistic. There's like the, uh, the several of the hallway shots.

There's the one in the beginning that's like a lot of shadows. And it's like, that was almost like, again, it was probably because they didn't have any money to light it. I'm assuming it was actually a lot of this was done because they were broke. I mean, this is a pretty low budget movie. So it's like some of it was them being creative with what they had and some of it i think he just has a little creative you know vibe to his direction he really liked the the shots of her like standing in the doorway and there's all those archways behind her he set that up and the Where they're setting up the reading of the will and there's like that big...

He does a lot of these down shots where you get like the ceiling in and it's got all these weird textured ceilings and these big fancy buildings. So it's like he's got visual style but. It looks good. Then you get into like the other parts where it's like he's trying to be so creative and so like cool and... Again, this is 1970, so I think a lot of this is, like, probably trying to tap into the drug crowd because they use drugs in it and then they have crazy, what seem like trippy sex scenes and a couple of other shots that, like, even when the violence comes in are very trippy and they do a lot of weird stuff with the editing and, like, the color and, you know, they do all these weird, like, especially during that sex scene, it goes into, like, a five minute run of, like, just these dreamy shots and the The camera panning up and down and weird bass.

You get the weird music going. So it takes it a little too far. A little. Yeah, the acid I took before did not help at all. Yeah, well.

For some reason, you're always taking it. Yeah. You barely made it through Dark Crystal, man. Yeah. That almost sent you over the edge.

Oh, my God. It's a great day. Fucking fizz gig freaked you out. So. Oh, man.

But yeah, the sex scene at the end there, the one thing I'll give him credit for is that at the end, it's almost like they're on a rotating sex turntable. Like, you can't see it. In such close-ups, you don't even really see where they are, but it's all in one shot. So it's like he's actually catching them at different points. It's like he's getting them, you know, kissing her here, and then it rotates around the back, and you see them naked, and then it comes back right on their head all in one take.

So it's like, I don't know if he just shot 20 different versions of that, and, like, this is a good one, or if he really, like, can you block on a rotating turn anymore? I don't know. Because it's like he had it perfectly timed out. It was kind of awesome, but at the same time, Dude, this is the end of this five-minute sequence. It's way too long.

Please, cut this shit down. Just the scenes are way too long. Maybe he was just holding the camera and pedaling around them on a scooter. On a tricycle. God.

So, yeah, there's a lot of wah-wah in this. There's a whole lot of... Again, for the porn, there's a whole porn soundtrack going on in this movie. Yeah, that's pretty much all there is, except for that weird... We'll get to the beach scene in a minute.

That was just. Oh, God. What was the budget on this movie? $ 15, 000, $ 25, 000. I think she said it was like $ 50, 000 or something. It was pretty minimal.

Yeah. Even for $ 70, 000, that's pretty minimal. Pretty minimal. So, I mean, I give them credit for doing what they did. And what I will give them credit for is, like, tone.

Because I think there's still, like, a cheesy part of me that kind of likes this movie. But I think it's all based on the tone. Because it has a very... like late 60s, early 70s horror movie vibe. And it really, and it's all that tone because you don't get horror movie until the last like 15 minutes, you know? So it's like the whole rest of the movie doesn't fit the tone, but yet the tone is sort of so overwhelming that it kind of still plays like it's a horror movie.

Like there's still that mood that it's a horror movie. You're still like waiting for it. There was a lot of foreshadowing with the, The main character and her painting all the time, Fred, always being covered in red paint. So, I mean, again, they do a little bit along the way that's kind of creative and kind of sets the tone for it, but in the end, I don't think it saves the movie because there's not a whole lot of movie to save. There's just weird.

It just goes from one scene of them talking forever to another scene of them talking forever, and I probably have nothing good to say about this movie, so. Well, I wanted to go through some of these scenes that make no sense, pretty much. So we went through their sex scene. So then we get to. The part where...

It's like, you're a bitch. Come here, bitch. That's your favorite line. Oh, God, yeah. That's pretty awesome, actually.

Except for that one later. Except later on, I'll hurt you. Okay, baby. So, yeah, then we get to... That was the other sex scene of theirs, of about three.

That's the thing. There's so many sex scenes in this movie that, again, the fact that it doesn't get categorized as porn. It was a soft porn. Yeah, I don't know how it does it, but I guess because they put blood in the title, it makes it a horror movie now. Oh, God.

But, yeah, so we get to the one with the other girlfriend. Now, our main guy here, he's got a girlfriend. We start off the movie with him and his girlfriend, Wyatt. You guys thought maybe it was his wife. I don't know what it was.

He seemed to, like, really like her. He seemed like he was into her. They had a whole little place of their own, and everything was cool. We then have our friend enter, the creepy dude. He looks like an even creepier version of Leif Garrett, I think.

I thought he was kind of handsome. Yeah, he was kind of cute, but like, I don't know, kind of I'm going to beat you in the head cute. That is cute. Larry, just exactly what is it that you want? Well, the same things you do, Doc.

Respectability and freedom. Now that is the big one, Doc. Freedom. I just stopped by to tell you that I expect $ 50, 000. In two weeks.

What the hell for? For the privilege of not doing business with me anymore. You're crazy. No, I am not crazy, thank you. And you'd better think about it, Doc.

Yeah, he's a cocky bastard. And have no problem doing it. So yeah, we get him in the beginning there. So we get to that first point where we figure, if there are any, that we figure out the doctor has been doing some abortions along the way. Why did they even play that in there?

I think that ends up being the whole motivation because then I had to check the dates because I was trying to remember when the whole Roe vs. Wade kicked in. That was 73. So this was completely illegal at this point. So I guess that would be, I mean, he's talking about losing his license and everything.

So he, I mean, that is enough reason that it would set this whole little chain of events into motion here. But so, yeah, we get him coming in and setting that up, which is sort of weird. They do play. Yeah, they kind of come back to it a few times. So I don't know if they're trying to make a statement about abortion or if they were just using it because it was sort of the hot topic in 1970.

Probably the latter. But but, yeah, we get him as he comes in there. So then go ahead about 30 minutes and he comes back to be with the girlfriend again. And then how exactly would you describe what goes on between the two of them? Because I have several issues with that scene.

I have so many issues with that scene. What are your issues? It's like she comes in and she's like, okay, and she gives him, you know, a proposition, hands him some whiskey, and it's like, you know, if I do you, basically, will the debt go away? And he's like, sure, stand up. And then, like, completely attacks her.

And then it's like, nope, never mind. So there's yeah you're not that good somebody online referred to it as the rape scene and i was like well is it i mean she she offered herself to him basically i guess she just he just jumped her but i mean she's sort of willing i mean she took her shirt off and then put her hands on his chest like they were going to do it normally then he becomes a freaking lunatic and like jumps on her but i was like well i don't know what's the dividing line there because she's still sort of i don't know. What happened after that. Nothing that was my yeah that was my final point on this scene is and then she disappears after this takes place now she was just laying on the couch like crying which again not a good sexual uh encounter but to me it was more like sexual extortion than more.

Or less maybe her boyfriend came home and was like you're a dirty. Slut Probably, the way the rest of this... This is like a whole lot of the people you don't really like. There's nobody to get behind in this movie. The little blonde chick, she was okay.

Yeah, she just seemed like a dick. Her fucking super-huber wig or whatever. She wants her hair back. It was huge, mind you. It was like a beehive almost.

But it wasn't like all of it was a beehive. It was like half of it was like. A mullet beehive. Yeah, it was all back. The part where they're getting ready to do it and she takes her hair down, I was afraid.

I was like, what's going to happen? You know, she like takes it down and just like a few tendrils like. And that's it. It's like a helmet on top of her head. Seriously.

It's like in Flight of the Conchords when Brett has a helmet made of hair that. Looks like his hair. That's what it looks like. Yeah, I expected her to just lift it directly off of her head. But then maybe it would have been cooler if she took it down and then it attacked it.

Like tentacles. He's like putting his hand through her hair and then they just get lost and stuck in there. He pulls out bloody numbs. See, that would have been freaking awesome. That used to happen in a movie.

Like fucking Chinese handcuffs. The more you struggle, the more you're locked in. We need to make a movie of all these awesome ideas that we have. I'm telling you. Start writing this shit down.

Mom, we need sponsors. We need people that would care. Please send money. No, please. Lots.

Cash. Not check. But yeah, so we get to that point and like, so then they do it. And then, yeah, that was the other thing. As if it wasn't the other thing. enough the way that he decides to take out his sex upon her however you want to put it take out his sex upon her that's what it seemed like to me she was.

Give me the name of this episode. Take out her sex take out his sex upon her That's perfect. Wow. So she was sort of there. She wasn't running away, but she didn't seem really happy about it either.

It's sort of like he took out his sex. So, but yeah, it was all part of a trade-off. I mean, they had a deal. You stand up. We're going to do it.

And then I'm going to drop the deal. I'm going to drop this whole blackmail situation with your boyfriend slash husband, whoever the hell he is. Uh, yeah, so he does her, and then he's like, well, ain't worth that, and walks out of the room. And kisses her. Oh, well, that was nice of him, yeah.

Yeah, kisses her on the mouth. I was like, I would have bit that son of a bitch. It's so sweet, Ben. It makes it all okay. So, yeah, this fire scurs her anyway, and then he just welches on the deal.

Yep. I'm like, she got scammed in so many ways. And then she also got shafted by the writer of the movie. He was like, I'm done with you now, bitch. I'm not even going to bother to write you out.

You're just going to disappear for no reason. I wonder how she got that role in the first place. That's probably how. Like everybody got that role. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, man. So, yeah, we haven't even gotten to the first murder yet. So then our friend Victoria, who is Maria, she decides to take out her father to get in his inheritance. She's, you know, been the only one taking care of him pretty much his whole life. You know, the other daughter disappeared for the last seven years.

So she's like, all right, I take this guy out. He's already sick. He's bedridden. So, you know, I'll take him out. I'll get all the money.

She doesn't take good care of him. No, she doesn't. She's kind of a half-ass nurse. Well, he's kind of a dick. Yeah, that's the thing.

It's... It's like the different times I've watched it, I've sort of sided with different people. Because in the beginning, you guys seemed like you were on board with her. Like, oh, look, she's taking care of her dad. But the first time, I was like, she's up to no good.

She's a bitch from the beginning. She has a look in her face that was just kind of like, she's probably going to kill you. But then, like, this time watching, I was like, no, her dad is a dick. I was like, I don't like him either. There were no, none of the characters were, you know, I'm empathizing with or caring about.

Yeah, they were all just pretty shitty people. They all suck. They all just suck bad. The ginger one was okay. The first girlfriend?

Yeah, she was all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She wasn't a total idiot either. The other blonde's kind of an idiot. But, yeah, the first girlfriend.

She was a ginger. Oh, God. She was pretty, though. Yeah. But she, yeah, so then she decides after they do their little drug-induced sex scene that she's going to then use, let's see, it was amyl nitrate.

That's, I had to take note of the, in case I want to kill someone with a heart condition later. Amylmitrate was their drug of choice, which I think, you know, the kids on the street, it's the poppers. So, yeah, it gives you some sort of, you know, psychedelic reaction that I'm sure all the kids were all about in 1970. So, yeah, you snort this stuff and you get a nice psychedelic reaction as you do it or whatever. Watch your rock and music show or whatever the hell the kids did in the 70s.

So she's going to use it to take out her father, basically, because the doctor already said conveniently 20 minutes before, yeah, if you have a heart condition, this will probably send you right over the edge and kill you. I love her face. She's like, really? She's like, huh. An idiot that he is.

It's like, she's already kind of weird, and you're trying to get money, but she just a minute ago was like, I can come up with the money. Don't you worry about that. So, yeah, I don't know. This guy's sort of an idiot for not seeing the pieces falling into play here. Come on.

Yeah, so she goes in, takes out her father, but this is the other part that I'm weirded out by. So she just drugged her father, waiting for him to die, basically, goes over to the mirror and starts taking her top off and touching herself. The weirdest part of that part. That's weird anyway but it's even weirder in your dad's. Room while he's in the throes of death.

That's very creepy which to me I don't know who like if the writer just had all kinds of weird like father issues because then again jump ahead a little bit when the blonde's having sex later she's having visions of her father having sex with that girl the random girl from the credit sequence that her father like it's a nightmare that he wakes from So then she flashes to the same nightmare and is having scenes of her father having sex while she's having sex, which is creepy. Yeah. So there's all kinds of daddy issues going on here that they just, yeah, again, just touch upon and leave alone. And we're probably glad that they don't go further into him because... I did.

Love his makeup when he popped out of bed. Oh my God, it was the best. His lips were like bright red. His face was pale, like that white, not like glowy white, though. Just flowery white.

And then he was making out with a red paint can. He just sits up with that. Oh, my God. Oh god so yeah that that part was creepy too just her flashing herself in front of her dad even though he was unconscious and dying at that point but that makes it a little creepier really so lord what else so then we enter into she gets screwed out of the will okay we kind of saw that coming because it was going to be funny i mean i can't imagine it really going any other way as he has as the guy sets up the will yeah alex rocco he's on tons of stuff but yeah that's Alex Rocco. You'll see him in a million different things.

So yeah, he comes in and sets up the whole will reading, and they read the will. She gets shafted out of it. Her sister, who just reappears with her friend. We'll go into that in a minute. So she comes in with this older woman, and they read the will, and the younger sister, who's been gone for seven years now, gets all the money.

So, Victoria freaks out, loses her damn mind. By bad, by poorly acting. Yeah, that's the most soap opera moment of the book. Which is strange. Her screen was fantastic, though.

Oh, yeah. Like, it's almost like a howling screech. Yeah, a howling screech. Perfect. Yeah, like a howler monkey.

Howler monkey. So, yeah, she's then bedridden. He drugs her up or whatever. She gets locked in her room because she's going crazy. So that sets up the next situation that I want to address, which is Doctor plays Sister Changeup.

I mean, he already has a girlfriend slash wife disappears from her. That's the other thing. I'm like, where does she think he is? Cause he's just gone for days on end here over at their house, taking care of all these weird little situations that keep popping up with killing the father and whatever. It's like never practice go derelict.

He just, yeah, he never goes to work. I'm assuming he probably should have gone home to her that night, but instead he ends up having dinner with, you know, Victoria and then sleeping with her and doing drugs or whatever the hell else they do. So I'm like, where does she think he is all this time? But that's a whole other issue. It would have been cool if Victoria had been like a witch.

She had a really cool candle. She did have a giant candle. By the bed. But I think she just used drugs instead of witchcraft. Yeah.

Because she did use that to sort of get him to go along with even more. Yeah, at that point. I'm pretty sure they'd already slept together, but then she was using drugs to do more. I don't know. More sexing, if you will.

To lay her sex upon him. That's awesome. I need to get some of that. Skip the poppers. I just want some lay your sex upon me action.

So then. Yeah, so then, I mean, you've set up this whole little interaction between Victoria and Dr. Craig. And Dr. Craig then decides, well, there's a dead end.

She ain't got no money. I'll just sedate her, lock her in a room. How can I get out of my blackmail situation that the creepy dude, you know, is going to basically report me and, you know, get my license taken away if I don't give him 50 grand, the budget of the movie. Literally. So then, yeah, he not so subtly, and with a big F you to her other womanly friend, he kind of decides to pursue her.

And this enters into the weirdest situation I've ever seen. Scariest part of the whole movie. It is. This is the horror as it sets in. It goes from...

I've never met this guy. We just met the day before, too suddenly. The next shot, we see they're holding hands. At the Renaissance Fair. I'm like, where the hell did they go from being strangers to the cover of a Harlequin romance novel in a matter of 30 seconds?

That's what happens in Harlequin romance novels. Obviously. It's the 70s, apparently. But even in a Harlequin romance novel, I feel like I skipped a page. I'm just like, wait.

You guys barely knew each other. Now, let's, okay, go into the whole day of fun here. The renaissance fair. How do you want to describe this? Renaissance fair.

Creepy mime guys. All kinds of mimes. And they were beating. Each other with bags. They were beating each other.

It was like pillow fighting. Renaissance type pillow fighting. Renaissance pillow fight. Mimes. And they both suck at it, by the way.

They really suck. Yeah, creepy mimes with bad paint job. At least paint your face in some sort of standard mime fashion. That was just badly, haphazardly done. Haphazardly done.

What if it was shot at a real renaissance festival? It looked like it was real. Like they just wandered in. But it was kind of a crappy one. Yeah.

Well, half of it didn't even look renaissance. No. It was like i kept trying to decide with stained glass yeah windows and. Shit at first i was like oh renaissance no i was like are there mimes during a renaissance fair because there's a whole hell of a lot of mimes at this renaissance it's. Like a weird drink sequence in uh labyrinth.

Yes on some other planet But yeah, they're holding hands and walking with his arm around her. Obviously getting close, having giggly good fun. Eating, I don't know, did they have cotton candy? What the hell? Didn't they have something?

Yeah, eat a leg of lamb. So romantic. Here, honey. You have a big greasy piece of meat. Up in your face.

Ooh, now back to the sexy. Anyway, so then... Are you okay? Are you joking? Our constant sex references are going to kill somebody.

So. Yeah, then we flash to the beach. And it really is this, like, what, 58-minute scene of them, like, walking on the beach. Walking on the beach, playing in the surf. Walking, walking.

Fucking Jesus Christ. Walking on the beach. Ugh. Oh, my God. And then finally when it ends, it fades out, but it's the longest fade out ever.

It's just like fading, fading. Please, God, fade faster. Fading. It's going into out of focus mode, and we're just blurry images. I'm losing my mind.

And more of that same, how do you want to describe the music, Marlene? It was. public domain was the most generic it's. Like i've heard that music somewhere i can't put my. Finger that's what i'm saying public domain probably every broke movie that needed cheesy music for an interlude yeah i'm sure that ended up. In there it was weird that the beach shot was like completely taken out of the movie yeah.

It doesn't fit really visually or anything it's like a totally different scene from a totally different movie And then we're thrown back into the soap opera action. So then we get back to the house. Okay, so now I want to go into the other woman. So the older woman that shows up with our other sister, the young blonde girl, Kate, I guess. Is that her name?

Yeah, I think. So Gail's the younger sister. So Gail, the blonde girl, decides that she... Well, she shows up and she's got this... Kate.

Friend. Friend. See, yeah, the older woman... Kind of old and scary looking, but... Good style, though.

She had really nice clothes. Yeah, she was very fashionable for an older woman, but I don't know. Did you get anything in the beginning? Because I really didn't pick that much up the first time I watched it, or even that first scene there. She's just sort of there.

You didn't realize they were pussy pancake buddies? I'm not really sure. It's... As... As the next scene goes on, I'm...

I mean, she sort of, when she's talking to the doctor, she sort of makes it known, she puts in that reference of, you know, I've been around, and she, you know, the kind of woman I am sort of statement, which, you know, skating around it, but making it kind of obvious. But again, if you're not paying attention, you could just not be paying attention to what she's saying and totally miss that angle. Yeah. So, yeah, you get that, and I was like, well, maybe they're just sort of alluding at it, but they're not going to go there. But then you get to the end when she's packing up to leave because the doctor's moved in and she's realized, oh.

I guess Gail's straight. Fuck it. Because that's the thing. Gail seems like she has no idea what's going on. She's stupid.

But the older woman's sort of just hanging around her all the time. She's definitely very forward about her way to the doctor. So I'm assuming it's probably not something she's not brought up before. But somehow Gail is very oblivious to what's going on. So she seems to have no idea what's going on between the two of them.

Because the older woman seems like she was setting up this relationship that never went anywhere. Like, she's just touring around with her. She says she's been with her for years. You know, our relationship is how she put it. But then by the end, she's just like, Gale all of a sudden goes... well, you never said anything or you never did anything.

And I was like, so now she would have been up for it had she done something. Like, what the hell was going on with the relationship? I was really confused, but. I think I like when she was like, the kind of woman I am is a lonely woman. I need to be where there are other lonely women.

So then I was like, well, that's not even gay. That's just the lonely old woman's club. I know. What the hell is that? The red hat club.

I think they wear the big hats and they go out to eat. Yeah. They go to macaroni grilling swarms. With giant red and purple hats. I see those all the time.

Lots of free bread. My best friend's mom wasn't actually part of that group, but she used to get red hats and stuff like that because she wanted to be part of that group. Oh, God. That's basically what they're doing. She shows up at their meetings.

In the back. Is it like a gang thing? Smoking cigarettes. It is a gang. You show up in their colors and the old women kick your ass.

Look, bitch, what are you doing with that red hat on? Back there swinging chains. On a random note, but I just think this is funny, there's an equivalent, a male equivalent. It's called the Romeo's Retired Old Men Eating Out. Ha ha ha!

Wowzer. The jokes don't stop, folks. Wow. We'll be here all week. No, it's a real thing.

I wasn't making that up. That's awesome. I know, but it's even funnier. It's even funnier. I'll wear plaid smoking jackets.

Hey. There's a whole lot of A's. I like when people have funny little initial abbreviations for things. Oh, Lord. So where the hell were we before we got sidetracked?

Oh, the old woman. So yeah, then she's like the kind of woman that I am. And then she packs up and leaves. So yeah, they enter in this weird semi-lesbian storyline, but not really. They never go there.

So I'm like, why write it in if you're not? I mean, even for 1970, they could have gotten away with a lot more than that. So why put it in there if you're not going to follow through and do something with the plot? Yeah. I don't know.

The nurse freaked me out. I didn't like the nurse. She bothered me. Yeah, she was. She's a little too funny for her own good.

Yeah. But she's the type of nurse that would, like, totally inject an air bubble into your IV. Yeah, kind of. She's sort of creepy. She kind of, like, fucked me over.

No offense to any of our. readers or listeners that are nurses but i've known a lot of fucking retarded nurses in my day like somehow you don't have to be that smart to be a nurse you can have people's lives in your hand yet still be a total moron it's. Amazing i don't get it because there's a hell of a lot of schooling involved yeah i know one personally and she was in school for a long damn time i don't understand why and i. Love i love her But I remember when she couldn't name all seven continents. Yeah. Yeah, she got called out for a lot of ignorant behavior in her ute.

But yeah, she was. What was that? What was that? I was like, shit, I've only got six. Awesome.

And a nurse you will be. And we dub you. Yeah, right. I come out with fingers off. Nobody's going to trust me with other people's lives.

You can pick up your white outfit on the way out. What happened here? What happened here? And the jacket gets. Tied in the back.

I mean, my cousin's a nurse and she is like practically a retard. Nice. Nice. Yeah oh don't think. A lot so yeah then we get more sex we get the sex on fire did you see they do the big fire fireplace scene but they're shooting the scene through through the fire through the fire so it actually looks like their asses are on fire by the end i'm like what's that.

Awful band that oh that has to be the the song that you put what's that awful band that has that song called sex on fire that all college boys are obsessed with is it like. Yeah Those guys rock, man. Come on. I like Kings of Leon. All right.

We'll go with sex on fire. So, yeah. So they go from the sex scene into the end. So now we're getting to the end of the movie. So go to town because, yeah, the end is a whole lot of just a big old mess.

So go to town. I didn't realize that it was going to end. It just did. It does. It just stops.

And it doesn't even make sense. After the sister kills the other sister, the older sister kills the younger sister. And drags her to the bathroom. Yeah. After seeming most sane of the whole movie.

She seems crazy in the beginning. She flips the fuck out. She totally does a flip script. It's like, yeah, we're cool. Yeah.

Everything's cool. Beats her head in. Die. Die. It was like Victoria with a candlestick in the bathroom, I'm pretty sure.

It really does become a board game at this point. And then Doctor sneaks in with that super cool music. Oh, he was stealthy, wasn't he? He was like a ninja. He sneaks in the window.

And then they look over and... The dead sister is standing in the doorway. Yeah, after he puts her in the car. What is being held up by the creepy dude? Well, first she hauls the body.

We forgot about the hiding the body. She hauls it from one bathroom to another bathroom. I just dropped it. And I was like, they'll never find it in here. It's almost as good as burying it.

Just sit it in your bathroom and shit. She doesn't even wrap it up. She just sets it in the shower. Yeah, she just throws it in there. Maybe she just took it in there and fondled her dead sister's body.

Well. I mean, she was hot. That's fine, right? Once they're dead, it's okay. But then the doctor comes in and he's like, where's Gail?

She's like, she's not here. You can look if you want. Don't go in that closed door over there. You can look if you want, but just not in that bathroom. It's out of order.

Don't go in there. I just pooped. It's really bad. Just stay out of there. It's not my dead sister, I swear.

I mean, use one of the other 17 bathrooms that's probably in this house because it's huge. Yeah. So yeah, then they drag her down to the car, and they come back in, the dead sister's in the car, and then, okay, now... And he's like, well. He's talking about this plan, and he was like, you know what I have to do?

Don't call, you know, don't answer the door. Don't answer the phone. I'll be back. And I'm like, why is he coming back at this point? Well, they're almost setting up what would have been the most interesting scene in the movie.

Yeah. Because at first he's like, you know what I have to do. So I assume he's going to turn her in at that point. Yeah. But then he's like, don't answer the door.

I'll be back. I'm like, oh, okay. So now he's on board. He's going to go hide the body and come back and. You're in enough trouble, buddy.

Try to find a way for the now other sister to cover it up and get the money. I mean, he's always about the money. You know that's somehow in his mind where he's really coming back to. Because, I mean, he doesn't love any of these girls because he's screwing all of them. So, you know, he's just coming back for the money.

So that's almost entering in what could have been a cool scene and... what maybe would have been interesting wrap up, but instead guess what happens? Creepy guy. Creepy guy shows back up. But first is he holding up the chick yeah because he's like standing straight up like she's alive and then she just falls to the ground and he's behind with his big smile like hey. Yeah at first her dead sister standing in the doorway all bloody and gross staring at her so i'm like okay now we've crossed into a zombie movie like what the what the hell's happening now i thought.

For maybe a second she wasn't really dead yeah maybe she just had like a minor concussion yeah I just got a little headache. I'm cool. Slow to the brain. But yeah, instead, then she falls down and the creepy blackmailer dude just kind of leans into the doorway with his cocky attitude. And is he lighting up a cigar at that point?

I don't know. I think he was smoking a pipe. Is he wondering about the dead chick or the half dead, almost dead chick or the not so dead chick? Playing dead chick? Probably dead chick.

He's just like, she was naked. I totally saw her boobies. And then your boy or whatever looks over at the painting the crazy chick has been painting. And it's him holding a skeleton. And it like shows it and then shows him and shows it and then shows him.

And then shows his face. Superimposed. Very poorly superimposed. Superimposed. his real face onto the face of him in the painting, and then it ends. Credits.

Abruptly, very abruptly. Music stops, no fade out, it just stops. They wasted all their. Fade out time. They used it all up.

They used it all up on the intro. Like all the old movies, they did like 20 minute intro credits and then no outro credits. It's just names, done. Yeah, so. That painting reminded me of that homoerotic.

Painting oh god you can have that by the way somehow it's still in storage somewhere I don't want it I don't have it I don't have it here but it was yours and you're taking it back it almost. Broke my leg. Homoerotic painting almost broke your leg wow I used to use it we didn't have enough baby gates to keep the dogs in a certain room so I was using that painting And I was like running through. This is funny. Misty was sitting on the couch.

We'd just been shopping. I was running through the house because I bought these pants that had suspenders. And I'm trying to put the suspenders on and jump over this painting. And I trip and fall and skid and like bust my knee open. And it's like gross and like bloody.

It was really nasty and it got horribly infected. Oh, it wishes it was maple floor. It's terrible. And people had asked me what happened. I was like, I tripped over this stupid homoerotic painting I have in my living room.

Where did you acquire this homoerotic painting? My mom found it at a flea market and she was like, you love art. Here you go. This is another one of those scenarios where people think they know what you like, but they're way off track. They're just sort of in the neighborhood, but they're way down at the wrong end of the neighborhood.

It's like getting somebody like a I don't know, like a kid's drawing. They're like, oh, yeah, you like art. You like art. I stole this off the refrigerator while I was at their house. I don't like that kind of art, though.

It's that kind of art I like. I'll take that over that weird homoerotic shit you had, because that was lame. Not even that it was homoerotic, that it was bad. It was like this shirtless merman, and there was this ghost ship in the background, and this. Skeleton behind it.

Lame. It was funny, and it was all grayscale, too. Oh, yeah. I'll take it. I kind of want to I bet I could get a pretty.

Picture of that on here right maybe we would not hang. It yeah actually no I might take that we'll give it to your neighbor he'll love it okay no he'll totally. Like my neighbor would love it right my neighbor would love it like it's fabulous. So everybody has that gay neighbor is what you're saying god just when you think the stereotypes aren't true everybody has that gay neighbor yeah it's like a sitcom come true and ours is. A jerk yeah who doesn't listen to the show yeah.

Hopefully My neighbor can be really nice, but he's also very aggressive. Like, I can't bring any guy over. He's like, what are you doing? Do you need any help? You're just so handsome.

Look at you. Let me help you in the bathroom. Yeah, take your pants off. He has no standards because he was hitting on me, so I know. He tried to pay Brian to come downstairs and take a shower with him.

I am not 100% sure I remember that, but he said a lot of things. Oh, my God. He was like, look at you. You're so handsome. I can't even get it out I was like look at you how much is it going to cost me for you to come downstairs and take a shower with me.

Truthfully, I was flattered. I don't get much attention, so guy, girl, whatever. I'm just glad somebody's interested. I didn't take him up on it, but at least somebody was interested. You were like, how much are you wanting to pay me?

A shower. Do I have to get fully naked? Can I take my shower with my clothes on? Yeah, wait a minute. Do I have to scrub your back?

He has no money. It would be. Oh, well, this sucks, all right. Fifty cents. This is like that deal earlier.

I don't want any of this. No. No. Yeah, this movie has a lot of issues. I think I want to watch this movie with my grandmother.

Are you angry at your grandmother? Yeah, why would you do something like that? You burned the pot roast last week, damn you. Blood mania. Goodness sucks at Christmas.

They do the same $ 5 gift card for the last 10 years. Yeah, oh shit. Look at $ 5 buy nothing. But it does go to show you that it's not a recent development that every movie has to have a weird twist ending. There was that era, especially that 60s, 70s horror movie era, where it had to end weird and abruptly, it seems like.

There are so many of them I can think of that are just like, whoa, wait, what the hell was that? It sort of became a staple of this era of movies, and it's good to know this one does not disappoint. Yeah, it just totally ends, doesn't make any sense. We have no idea what the hell even happens at that point. I mean, I guess you're to assume the blackmailer now has way more material to blackmail this guy with and just upped his price.

I don't know. It's like, where the hell do you go with this storyline? Maybe they were setting it up for a sequel. And then yeah i mean there's so many ways they could have gone with that like maybe the uh maybe victoria was in on it with the blackmailer and they were setting this guy up and he's gonna take the fall for the sister getting killed i mean this was free this was pre-csi so you could get away with all kinds of crazy shit back in the day so they could have set it up that way but they don't go anywhere with it they just stop credits done i guess they ran out of money they're just like let's end this thing We're done. We're just done.

They're packing up the catering. That's it. We're out of here. See ya. It kind of seems like once my friend was cutting my hair, and she got bored halfway through, so she just stopped.

It kind of felt like that. It kind of felt like that happened. Did you feel a little bit betrayed? Oh, yeah. No shit, right?

I did. I was like, you know what? You going to beauty school, probably not going to work out so much. You have attention deficit disorder. Here, take this Adderall.

Thanks for coming here. Oh, man. So, yeah. I don't know. It definitely...

It's one of those... I still kind of like it on some level. I like the cheesy horror feel of it. It just doesn't deliver the horror. It's sort of misnamed.

It doesn't need to be blood mania. It needs to be sex mania. Because everything about it is just a porn. Or a borgasm. Well, there you go.

Yeah, that's perfect. I like that. So. You stole that from Kenneth Smith. No, no.

I've been using that word for a long time. There's a reason when. You said that I just had like... Borgs in my. Head having sex.

Oh, wait a minute. Borg cast. That's just me. That's totally awesome. That is upping the geek ante.

I was just thinking more like boring. Do you think they would enjoy it? Once they did it, they would assimilate it and get used to it and get over it. They'd have to find new ways of doing it. I think the whole collective would enjoy that.

The whole cube is throbbing. The cube's smoking after. The cubes are rubbing up against each other like galactically. This is the nerdiest conversation about sex I think has ever occurred. It's pretty awesome.

Wow. Oh, man. Oh, my God. Do you want me to self-destruct you? Because it's affecting her in a very deep and personal way.

You have to. I'm sorry. I'm not laughing. So, yeah. Three hours the other night.

It hurt so much. That's not healthy. No. You're going to have a heart attack. Laughing is a good ab workout, though.

There you go. My eyeballs hurt. Like they're popping out or something. This movie sucked. Don't see it.

In summary. Yeah, that's everyone else's feeling. Again, I try to find the best I can out of these weird movies. Yeah, I think that the mood of it's kind of cool. I never watched Dark Shadows.

It always felt like, to me, it's like a creepy soap opera. I didn't watch much of Dark Shadows, but I got that vibe off of it from what little I've seen. It's that time period, and it's definitely got that horror soap opera feel to it so it's you know that's sort of fun about it if you like naked people you get a whole lot of naked chicks you don't see much of the doctor but whatever. You almost see his junk when you're trying to. You get a little ad well you get like a half ass shot from two different guys but you never really get anything else from the guys so ladies i don't know what to tell you yeah he was climbing up on the tub i was hoping the the tile was wet and he was just going take himself out we might have seen some blood then but yeah as far as Maria this is actually one of my favorite roles for her what I've seen of her this is a lot of fun because she's crazy like from the get go it gives her a lot to do she's just she's very beguiling she definitely sort of ropes you in she's really attractive when she's back in the day she's a young attractive woman she's got kind of that whole almost exotic feel to it which is weird for a girl from Canada Technically, I think she's born here, so I don't know where this comes from, but she's got almost a different look to her that you would almost guess she was from some other part of the world.

She does have very Canadian eyes. Well, there you go. She has Canadian eyes. Haven't you watched the South Park movie? Oh, no.

I don't want to, like... Offend her. Well, you know, she wasn't born there, so I guess that's why her head doesn't flip up and down when she talks like Terrence and Phillip. But yeah, I think this is a lot of fun for her. That's almost the reason to watch it is I think she's really entertaining in it.

She does have her little breakdowns here and there that are a little over the top. And on top of that, yeah, you see Greedo's boobs. Yeah, they're nice. She was hot back in the day, let me tell you. And she was actually pretty attractive when I saw her recently.

So, you know, who am I to say that? maria call me you know whatever but yeah she's uh yeah she's very attractive and um i i like the beginning when she's just sort of sinister in the end she's full-on crazy and that's fun too she just jumps. Into bad shit she's just a little wily in the beginning yeah i don't get what. I want she definitely sex panther yeah she always seems like she's up to something and she is and uh yeah she she definitely works that throughout the entire movie so maybe. She didn't do she just did too many drops and like flipped something in her skull and she was like. I'm gonna kill everybody switch flipped and did not flip.

Back definitely so it's still sort of I don't know it's up to you if you want to watch it I'm not gonna force people to I enjoyed it I had fun with it but again I watch a lot of stuff that people don't like so that's my take on it it's fun along the way and a whole lot of down time somewhere in there so you pick and choose what you like in this movie so Anything else we need to address? All right, then. We'll take a break and have some sex on fire. And come back with the rest of the show. Sex on.

Fire. They're watching All the commotion. A kid in like pain. Has people talking Talking Yeah, yeah No. Sex is on fire The.

Dark of the alley The breaking of day The hit while I'm driving. One minute left to top off the evening with a treat from our snack bar. Still time if you hurry. Last call for refreshments, folks. Go right this second to get something good to eat and drink to enjoy now or during the rest of the show.

Rest in black from head to toe. His face eternally hidden. He was the most evil being in the universe. Commander of the Death Stars. The Dark Lord of the Sith, whose very name brought fear to the bravest of men.

Darth Vader. Darth Vader is back. Star Wars is back. Star Wars. Rated PG.

Parental guidance suggested. Hey kids, are you ready for Mid-America's largest genre film festival? That's right, it's time for the 6th annual Fright Night Film Fest. Coming to you July 30th through August 1st in Louisville, Kentucky. Featuring special guests, director, producer, Oscar winner, and living legend, Roger Corman.

Plus a Dawn of the Dead reunion, a Night of the Creeps reunion, the Girls of the Nightmare on Elm Street films, plus a. 25th anniversary Fright Night reunion. All that plus the Georgetown drive-in experience, live music, and more horror merchandise that you'll know what to do with. And even an appearance from the Movie Meltdown Gang. So come on out and join us July 30th through August 1st.

For more details on the show, update your guest list, or to get your tickets, go to FrightNightFilmFest.com. Fright Night Film Fest is my favorite film festival. Hands down. It's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies.

All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. I'm the boss. You're right. I thought I was playing footsie with you for a second.

Me? Our relationship. I'm the kind of woman that likes to play footsie under the table. A lonely old woman who likes to play footsie under the table. Alright, we are back.

And as far as feedback, uh, this week people are slacking. So we're actually, um, we've, we will go into, uh, the, uh, we've got a few new iTunes reviews. Oh, I'll let you. Guys know about that in a minute. But, um, On the feedback note, it will lead us into where we need to go with this next little feature here.

Because we have a gift that was provided to us for our show. And specifically, I have taken it for this little Greedo, bloody Greedo run here. So it is an autographed CD from Graham Elwood that says, Han shot first. If you listened to last week's episode, you'll understand. But yeah, he has a whole little rant about Greedo.

So to tie it in, yeah, we're supposed to give this away, but I was going to give it away to the people who, I don't know, provide feedback initially. But this week, nobody gave us anything. So that's it. Losers. I'm upping the ante on you guys now.

So if you want to get it now, we're going to have to take the next step and provide us with something a little more than that. So for the Han shot first contest we got going here. I think I want you guys to call in and do your best Greedo impersonation. Nice. How's it go, Roger?

I'm not good at it. So I want to hear you do whichever is your favorite lines. I'm not sure if we'll be able to decipher them. Actually, if we're geek enough, we can decipher them. I've got a professional.

I've studied this. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, whichever ones. We're probably not going to get too technical, as long as it sounds like Greedo.

But, yeah, we'll pick the best one of the bunch. So you better just do a good job. That's all I got to say. So, yeah, call us and give us your best Greedo impersonation. And the best of the bunch is going to get this hand-autographed and titled with Hanshot First Edition of the CD from Graham Elwood. which I believe Misty and Marlena are pretty taken on this hot inside picture.

Yeah, he's wearing. American flag pants on a beach with some, like, memchucks. Shirtless, mind you. Yeah, and shirtless. Oh, and on the back, it's pretty funny, too.

And on the back, he's doing some sort of kung fu karate action there. This is, yeah, an awesome CD. And thank you to Graham Elwood at GrahamElwood.com. And their show is ComedyPhilNerds.com. So go there.

They do kick ass. So thank you once again to him for providing the prize for this little contest. So now it's up to you to win this fabulous prize. Call in and get a gift. And I've got other random stuff I can throw in there.

We can make it a whole, you know, Han shot first gift pack. We have lost socks. We have suicide cat wings. Yeah, I've got a cat that I'm really sick of. Tired of it.

He's on suicide watch. If you do a really good job, I won't include him. That's your incentive right there. I'll keep the little bit. Yeah.

So yeah. Call the, uh, the old hotline here. 502-365-5565. And, uh, provide us with your best impersonation of Greedo. So yeah, in lieu of, uh, your feedback this week, we'll go with your feedback via iTunes.

So we have a couple of new ones since then that I wanted to, uh, let you guys know. Um, We got one from FestiFan that says, I'm a huge movie geek, and this show pretty much picks movies that I can enjoy and then show to my friends. My friends might ultimately think I'm super weird and stop talking to me, but I have fun. That's all that matters. See, that's what I'm saying.

This is how I approach it. I find some of these random movies, and I show them to people, and you guys hate me. And then we talk about them and then other people get to discover them and inflict them upon their friends. This is the chain that I like to create. To whip people with.

Yeah. The chain of pain. The chain of pain. Nice. Chain of pain.

It's going to be the next news segment. So, yes, thank you to FestiFan. That was, yeah, I kind of enjoy hearing that they do get something out of this. That's exactly what we want to do. Inflict it upon your friends.

That's what we're looking for. And inflict the show upon your friends. That's what we're trying to do at this point is to spread the word. So, yeah, aside from iTunes reviews, yes, we do want those, but just tell your random friends, the ones that you're making watch these horrible movies that I dig up and go, hey, let's talk about these. Tell them to listen to our ridiculous show as well.

We'll talk about, I don't know, sex on fire and giant turntables and Borg screwing each other. God knows what the hell we're going to talk about. There are no barriers. You know you want to inflict that upon them as well. If you're that evil and sadistic, you go for it.

Because this is futile. There you go. So yeah, the next one up we hear from Fuzzy Bear, who we do actually hear from. He is on our good side because he does call in. So any of you guys who aren't calling in, you're already pushing your luck.

So... He says, more than movie reviews, this show consists of interviews, conversations, tangentile. Tangentile. Is that a word? All right, we'll go with that.

Sure. Tangentile side notes and all-out hilarity. It's obvious that the co-hosts all like each other and like movies and enjoy hanging out and talking about films. No film snobbery here, only an appreciation for each other and for movies. Word.

See, that gives us way more credit than we deserve. Please go to iTunes and lie. We like that. That's awesome. That's awesome.

You gotta send in something just for saying such nice words. I mean, granted, we aren't movie snobs. I'll give you that. But, I mean, A, we don't like each other. And B, movies.

We don't watch movies. You don't understand how much stuff we cut out. Not really. That strangulation or whatever. So, yeah.

But, yeah, that's very cool. Thank you, Fozzie Bear. Yeah, Fozzie. Definitely. Yay!

Yay! On that note, yes, go to iTunes and leave us a review. A nice big five-star review. We much appreciate that. Don't be shy.

We'd like to hear from you. So give us a call at 502-365-5565. Or you can email us at geeksatmoviemeltdown.com. And just stop by the website for our frequent updates. That's moviemeltdown.com.

And while you're there, click on the forums link and go to our message boards at Pop Syndicate. Or go to popsyndicate.com and go to the forum sections and look for Movie Meltdown. This message will self-destruct. I want things that self-destruct. Right?

You know, like mail. Like I want my mail to self-destruct. Like Facebook messages. Lots of things. Ex-boyfriend.

After you break up with them, they get a phone call. Hi, you will self-destruct in five, four. I think. They started self-destructing before we broke up and that was always the problem. Nice.

That's what other exes. That's true. Okay, kids, get out your Dakota bins. It is time. time for the movie meltdown secret circle reveal of the next two features some of which somebody might be here for i'm not really sure we'll be gone next weekend next week yeah these two uh and. If the movie is anything like today then actually we're okay with.

It yeah actually you're you're you got out good today was. Improved oh next week is worse oh god baby word we can dodge that. Bullet you and your damn life So, yeah, these two over here are skating out next week. But, yeah, the rest of us and whoever else I can rope into it, which we'll have to see because some other people are still out of town. So we're putting the crew, as we constantly do with our rotating crew, we're going to drag some more unwilling victims into this.

Whoever is here next time, we're going to be watching The Cremators. It sounds awesome, though. Doesn't it? Just like Blood Mania. Doesn't it?

That's the key to these movies. Get a good title, get a good poster. They get you in the seat, and then right, just fucking ass. I probably will fall asleep. I've taken on Roger's role of falling.

Asleep during the podcast. I don't do it anymore. I know, because I do it now. Nope. Me.

No, you just fall asleep during the podcast. Okay. Okay. I'm walking home. Yeah.

All right. So the following week, we're going to round out this trilogy of terror. And the last feature I'm still working on, I don't even know what format we're going with. I'm still trying to get a good copy of it. It's that these two you can actually get.

They're available readily, at least if you have the Internet. I don't know that you're going to find them at your local blockbuster, but you can definitely get copies of them. But the last one is a little harder to come by. It is called Wonder Woman. And it's sort of infamous.

Some of you out there in the Super Geek world probably know of it or have already seen it. Wonder Woman. Yeah, it's another special, special movie. But it's got more action than this movie, so I'll give you, you know, we'll be a little more entertained, I think, than today's feature on the downtime, hopefully. So, yes, that will be the last entry in Greedo, Bloody Greedo.

Yeah. All right. Anything else you guys want to add to this, uh, Greedo fest? No, I'm pretty good. Pretty.

I'm still thinking about Borg cubes. Friction making this galactic friction as they rub up against each other. Does it make a noise? Cosmos is splitting in half. Yeah, it's pretty awesome.

There's no other noises in space. Borg 6 is hot. It is. Just Borg 6. That's all you can use.

Just like sparks. Lots of sparks. Just like sparks and howling. Electricity's arcing from body to body part. Data's freaking out somewhere.

What? Data doesn't do that. Yeah, when he freaks out, he does. When his wiener goes out of control. Wow.

And the nerd auntie gets taken up a notch. All right. We have to stop arguing about that. Yeah, okay. On that note, the only thing dorkier than that is a song about Greedo.

So yeah, this is probably, of all of them I'm piecing into this run of movies, this is probably the most blatantly dorky. It's just titled Greedo, so enjoy. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed.

Thanks for listening. Thanks, guys. Bye. Thanks. Bye.

Data's boner. His wiener. His wiener. Dorks. I don't know the word.

Super dorks. He always had it coming since the day he was born Out comes another rodeon in the swarm He had a blaster pistol and his fingers were hot His temper was quick but his reflex was not He embodied the sin of his namesake Now they're laying him down in a six-foot grave He was trying to make a payment claim But. When down, down Well, he felt mighty. Proud cause he just made the cut as the new headhunter for Jabba the Hutt. Eliminate the cause of his boss's sorrow.

A scruffy-looking nerf heard a drop in his cargo. A search brought him to Marsaius Lee, a wretched hive of villainy. He was trying to make a payment claim, but went. Down, down, down. The bits were blowing.

Jizz and it was out of sight One note from the clue could turn day into night The air was hot and the elk was cold All Greedo did was what he was told He was brash and brave and full of life With eyes that absorbed every ray of light He was trying to make a payment claim But when down, down, down came the blaster rain There. Was something in the air. That day Everyone knew he was giving it away The crowd could sense something wasn't right Old Greedo was looking for a fight. Thank you. Fifty thousand dollars, my sweet.

Fifty thousand dollars. As soon as the will is probated. And Daddy's business affairs are in perfect order, ten days to two weeks. I'll get the money back to you. I swear it.

Don't swear. Please don't swear. I don't want the money. I have you. Don't make no mistake about it.

I do have you. You are a bitch. Become your bitch. This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, featuring contact music performed by Tamara Deering. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.