Pieces of Thanksgiving

The following program is a special presentation. You thought that all would last forever But like the weather Nothing can. Ever I'm C. Thomas Howell and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. Staying old.

But can it be when we can see so vividly? The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. It's showtime, folks. Enjoy the show.

Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian. I am Alan. I'm Lucy.

I'm Fred. I'm Greg. I'm Beau. I'm Marlena. And we are coming to you live via digital recording from Fred's house.

And we have a special guest. Fred, would you like to introduce our very special guest? Yeah, I thought Lucy was going to say, I'm Lucy and this is Joe. I'm Lucy and I'm with puppy Joe. Who is now chewing on the cord.

Fred has acquired a new puppy who is also wearing a sweater. I guess we're going to have to take a photo and post it now. The Joe episode. The sweater is as of today. Nice.

You're blaming your wife for this. We have achieved a sweatered dog. You're one of those people. Yeah, we're two of those people. You still have time to pretend like you don't know your wife.

Tell me, why does somebody sweater a dog? I've always wondered. She gets. He gets cold. You're doing it now.

When we go outside. Lucy's going to explode with the cuteness of this animal. Well, how do you know that he gets cold, though? I mean, how does. The puppy doesn't like to go outside, and sometimes.

He will pee when he shouldn't, but it's because he's little. He doesn't have a lot of body. It sounds a lot like the same way you'd describe a human toddler, except the opposite on the sweater factor, like they don't want to go outside and be seen if they're wearing a sweater. Well, yeah. But the peeing.

That is the sweater of shame, I believe. I thought that's what it was. I thought you put the sweater on to just kind of bring... The dog had too much attitude. I got to dampen it.

That's what it would have been, but Lynn put the sweater on. She has different motives. Yes. So you put it on and say, how dare you? You're working against each other and playing the dog somehow in this whole situation.

I just know that my daughter has a storybook about a dog who gets a sweater and just tries to do everything he can to remove it. He does so, and then. Everybody's all sad. It's caught on his tooth. Except for the dog, because he just didn't have the sweater.

And he's chewing on it here. Which book is that? That's like the G. Gordon Liddy biography, isn't it? Something like that.

Then the dog eats the rat as soon as it's out of the sweater. Do you want me to get it from this thing, though? I think you should. Welcome to Movie Mountdown, ladies and gentlemen. We're all taking photos of a puppy.

It's an adorable puppy. It's better than cats. That's true. Cats are shady. That's why I like cats, because they are shady.

You can't trust them. They're trouble. I know, that's why I like a pet that I distrust. I like them both. Alright, so all puppies aside, this is our return to the Thanksgiving episode.

We have not done one in at least two years, we'll say, right? I think it has been two. Has it really been two years since we had Turkzilla? And that's what I'm trying to remember, because it's been two years since the official yeti spaghetti show so i'm trying to remember if we did turkzilla after we did yeti spaghetti or maybe it's been three years since we did. Turkzilla no they were they were almost back to back okay then it's been two years lately it's been yeah it's been about two years okay.

It's been two years since turkzilla. And that was technically the bride of turkzilla because the original turkzilla greg you you constructed that monstrosity and. Yes, the original Turkzilla. That was a little bit more. That was like four years ago.

Epic, yes. Because we've kind of skipped a year every time because it's so exhausting. I was going to say, I think the bride of Turkzilla has finally passed through my system. It's probably been two. Yeah, I think it's the forming the turkey meat into a cake layer that causes that.

It also does that meat paste. That's the Zillow part. That is the Zillow part, yes. It may leave your stomach, but it never leaves your. Heart, Greg.

Right. So it has also been about that damn long since we've all been together. This is a family reunion. We are a dysfunctional meltdown family. So do we need to catch up?

Is that what we decided? We need a... Control yourself, Joe. You're a new member of this family. You watch it.

You're still in the probation area. I feel like we brought in Cousin Oliver. Is that what's happening? Like the show wasn't doing well in the ratings. We're like, let's add a puppy.

That's what I was saying earlier. I was like, that's why Angel, the previous dog who is now probably very upset because the sitcoms always upgrade and get a new cuter, smaller child. I don't know. So poor Angel. We still like Angel.

Angel was really cool about it. like got along so far surprise well at first and then we made the decision okay we can have a puppy because angel's cool with it and then she started going just lurch like it's a noise we've never heard her make before and also she was never interested in dog toys but now she's all over joe's dog toys. Because you never bought her anything yeah. I guess I think she's kind of reliving her childhood a little bit. Like the puppy has taken her back. It does kind of happen.

They pick up on each other's weird little vibes. Anything else? Anybody watch anything since last time we were sitting here? Let's do a rundown of the last couple of years for everyone. Go!

I have a little Thanksgiving thing. I never watched Twin Peaks. Well, you've been dead up until now, I suppose. Never watched it. It was in, like, I guess it was on the period when I didn't watch TV or something.

But I really liked David Lynch when I first started seeing this stuff. And then I got into this thing where I just, like, couldn't stand him. He just, I felt like he was, like, jerking me around. Well, I mean, I'd almost say that's, like, post-Straight Story. Like, Mulholland Drive and the Empire, I think it's just him almost doing a parody of Like, he figured out what his own formula was, and once he did that, it became disingenuine, I felt like.

I mean, I would say it's like, oh, he got away from the stories that he was telling and just started doing this weird stuff. But when you start with a racer, like, you can't, he's just coming full circle again. It's just, now it may be a little more self-aware, though. But I really, I've only watched a few of the Twin Peaks, and I really enjoy them, and it sort of takes me back to like the early Lynch when I really appreciated him. And I just think I was maybe looking at it wrong.

Like, he's had some failures, but I don't think he set out to fail. I don't know why I was holding it against him. I think it's pretty effective storytelling, and the only thing is once you figure or find out Laura Palmer's killer, it should have just stopped there because it just slows almost to a complete halt, and then there's this subplot with these Canadian... The James side story? Yeah.

That's painful. And then it starts to get kind of interesting when you get into the sort of weird serial killer. The big killer at the end. is his name it's escaping me but it starts to get a little bit interesting near the end of the second season but by then it was just they realized they were not going to have a third season so just it gets wrapped in a really sloppy last episode and he just screws everybody over with. That last episode But Lynch was like pretty much out by that point anyway, right? We can't actually blame him.

Well, I mean, even if you go through, it's not like he was directing every episode anyway. But what's weird is you can tell, like once you get in it and you see that name pop up at the beginning, you realize, I mean, it is a Lynch episode the entire way through where like some of the other ones just have like normal TV directors or like occasionally a weird celebrity. Windham Earl. There we go, Windham Earl. And it was...

In there somewhere. The Windham Earl like. It's interesting. It starts picking up. I mean, it starts to get interesting again, but never as engrossing as it was in the first season.

First season is some of his most solid work, you know, at least in the way of whether he directed the episode or just was influencing, you know, what was done with it. But it does feel like a nice culmination of all he had already built up in the film world. He, you see so much of what he's into kind of play out, but almost play out in a more well pieced together version. Cause he knew it had to go out on television. So it's still weird and Lynch, but it's probably not, it's probably them keeping him on just enough of a leash to be like, okay, look, this is primetime TV.

We, we need to have a little bit of a storyline, you know, let's keep it in check. So he probably needs that in general, not having that now, maybe why these last several movies are, Off the rails. I think that was the problem with Inland Empire. It was just like, oh, now it's digital video. We can just film for days.

Well, see, and that too, she really knows how to utilize 35. I mean, even when Lost Highway is, you know, getting very surreal in and of itself, it still looks beautiful. Even, I think Mulholland. Was still filmed on film, wasn't it? It was.

Yeah, I mean, even then, it's like, I'm not a huge fan of the movie, but it looks great. But I mean. Inland Empire, it just looks cheap. And then you throw in the fact that it's like, what, three and a half hours long. It's just, it comes across as very rambling.

So I'd still like to see him do something different in the way of just, you know, just make another film again, I should say. But I don't know what exactly he is working on. There's all those rumors that he's going to go back to doing Twin Peaks again that was floating around on the internet. For a while. I think it's for sure happening.

Yeah, I think it's confirmed. But I'm not a huge fan of when series go back and just, you know, are revisited because it just feels like it's either retreading familiar waters or it's just it comes across as repetitive. It's no different than everyone's excited about, you know, Raimi and Campbell doing an Evil Dead project again. I'm like, why don't they just do something unique? but the two of them paired together. I don't see why they have to go back and make it Evil Dead and those characters.

And I love the Evil Dead movies. I just don't see the need in just essentially, it almost feels like both the actors and the directors just sort of pigeonholed themselves into it. It's like, well, this is what made us successful, so we can't get anyone else to support these other ideas we've got. Let's just go back to the familiar again. But Twin Peaks are sort of that built-in promise of 25 years from.

Now, right? I suppose. I mean, I'd be curious to see what they do. I mean, I will watch it because I'd just be curious, but I don't know. I'm skeptical going in.

I just remember I rented Lost Highway when I was 12 years old and watched it, and I didn't understand it, and that really deeply affected me. Like, I thought, I was like, I must be an idiot. I don't get this. Like, it really, really affected me for years, and then I just realized, like, it's a David Lynch movie. Like, that's just how it goes, but I thought I was like, I don't know, incapable of understanding movie plots or something because of that for a really long time.

I think I'm okay with the idea of The Lynch. And it's funny because they both kind of hit in that same month or so of The Lynch. Again, it's like I was saying, now that there's these new avenues and everybody has a TV network to work with and now you can do stuff online and you don't need anybody's approval. So in a way, I'm interested in both of those, the Sam Raimi and Lynch, just because both of them are attached to if it was just being pawned off on somebody else, but the fact that both original, you know, filmmakers are coming back to be involved in it and because they can kind of like, I know the one is stars. I'm not sure where's the twin peaks would turn it up, but like they do kind of have free reign to do whatever they want.

They, that's the one beauty of like those other networks is they really don't come down on you as far as content. They're like, you know, if you're the visionary, go make your thing and we're just going to back it and put it out there. So, I'm interested to see. Again, it might go off the rails in both cases, but I'm way more interested to see because it's not network television, it's not being forced into that, and because both of the original filmmakers are coming back to at least be at the helm of what it does. We're sort of an extension in the way of surreal films, and going back to the topic of if we've seen anything lately, just last week I saw Holy Motors for the first time.

Anyone else seen that? It's a lot of fun. I wouldn't say it's Lynchian as much as it reminds me more of Jean-Pierre Jeunet in the way of just, it is surreal, but it's a very silly movie. sort of surreal. And it's very beautiful to look at too. I like all of the segments, but it's funny.

The two that are the most impressive and always stand out when I think about it are both the musical segments. It could have just been a musical and it might've been way more entertaining. Like I like the other ones, but like when I think about it, I think about the intermission is amazing. And like the big musical number at the end. And it's like, those are really the two moments that stick out and the rest, is kind of interesting.

The Monsieur Merred stuff I found really entertaining. And he, I'm trying to think, Carol is the name of the director, isn't it? Is that his last name? I'd seen that character because he'd used it in, um, Tokyo. I don't know if you saw that at, um, Michelle Gondry and, um, it's, um, oh, I can't think of the Chinese director.

It's Korean. Or is it Korean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And did one of the segments in Three Extremes, too, right? I don't believe...

I think so. It's like Bong Joon-ho or something along that line. I know I'm probably getting the name wrong, but... He just put out something. But I remember just liking that character in Tokyo, and then when I saw it pop up in the Holy Motors trailers, I was like, I like the fact that you've got this surreal character that he just reprises. in these different films.

But I think, to me, the most entertaining segment was the green screen sequence. That, to me, was just the one where I found it the most outlandish. And that's the funny thing, too, is you're watching these two characters on the screen pretending to be characters for people who play video games who don't want to actually... do all these interactions in real life and so they go and play video games to have these you know simulated interactions but it still takes real interactions with people to make the simulated interaction like it's just working on so many levels and you know with the the contrast that they shot it with all the different points that the computer is going to recognize just sort of blend where it's just this movement of um just dots of light you know like this constellation in the sky just collapsing and unfolding on itself and then finally it just pans over and you see the utterly surreal computer generated characters that are having sex on the screen it's just like what have i booked myself into and it's in like the first 10 minutes too so at that point i was hooked with it i mean it just i felt like it was a movie that was just having fun for the sake of having fun and just not worried about a coherent plot but rather just entertaining the audience.

And I think that's something that gets overlooked a lot. Everybody, you know, is wanting something to be, you know, allegorical or it has to make some sort of statement. It's like, well, no, movies, they can just be just entertaining or they can just be beautiful to look at. That should be a simple thing that we just, I think is taken for granted a lot anymore. I really like that.

It didn't over explain any of that either. It's like, we just drive from one segment to the next and it doesn't feel like it has to tell the separate story and like wrap it up like it's like it's each individual little separate movies it's the fact that it all just flows into this one sort of through line but not enough to make it really the. Only through line is that this guy has some sort of like specialized job that is going out and you know embracing these roles and But for what purpose? You never really know. Yeah, and I kind of like that it doesn't over-explain any of that.

It's just sort of left for you to do what you want with it. Have we caught up all the. Way to the last year and a half? You nodded, Alan. You've seen it?

I did. What was your take on it? I really liked it. I feel like I'm missing something because I don't remember the musical parts and everything. There were two.

There was like the intermission where it's a long tracking shot. They're playing an accordion through a church like he is, and he just starts picking up more and more musicians as it goes through. And then there's like the sort of ballad at the end. Yeah, it's one of the Minots, isn't it? Is it Kylie or the other one?

I can't remember. But like she comes in and like that's her big scene. And like it's actually a pretty good scene even before that, but it just launches into what is, Again, each one is sort of like a segment from a different genre anyway. So it's like that becomes the big, you know, Hollywood musical segment. And it's very, yeah, it's very operatic.

And I just really responded to that one. But yeah, that's, I don't know. Those were just the standouts that I remember. My favorite segment, I think, was actually when he was the really crazy homeless guy with the long fingernails. Yeah, that's the Monsieur Merid sort of sequences.

What everyone, because as he's walking through the cemetery, everyone's like... It's Monsieur Merde. I like the idea that this weird character that comes out of the sewers establishes Mr. Shit. In this world.

Everyone already automatically sees him and they know him. It's like a Bigfoot sighting. So it's not like it's a one-time thing. You're just given the sense that he does this regularly and you're just seeing one of those moments to where he does it. Interesting.

And if you can kind of consider like the makeup and in like the physical transformation, like the way he's walking as that character versus doing the very elaborate acrobatics when he's in the green screen room. I mean, just the physical transformations he does are as impressive, if not more so than like, you know, the makeups that he's wearing. And the weird like limousine idea that takes us through, but then like the, It'll veer off and do the thing with the daughter. So we do get these weird little segments and all these different almost genres of movie. I kind of want to watch It with Cosmopolis.

I think the two would make a very weird juxtaposition together. Just two films to where the character spends so much time in a limo. Let the karma linger on your perfect skin Your widow's peak and your lucky grin And the bluest eyes I know As you turn to go Let there be a record of your gorgeous voice The turn of phrase would fill my days with joy Something like being singing soft and low As you turn. To go. I know I'm not supposed to say I'm sorry I know you've had more loves than murder hurry.

But you know you're. The star of my life story. And I'm so sorry. Now, before the next show starts, let's enjoy an intermission. You'll find our snack bar chock full of good things to eat and drink.

Tasty, tempting hot dogs, thirst-quenching soft drinks, fresh, crunchy popcorn, a complete assortment of delicious candy, and a full line of cigarettes. You've plenty of time, so visit the snack bar now. A tasty treat will double your enjoyment of the show. Hey kids, just a quick reminder. There are some other holidays coming up in the near future.

Now, I won't say what they are because I don't mention those holidays until after we get through Thanksgiving. That's just how I operate. But sometimes you do have to plan ahead and, you know, try to get. Gifts for other people. So what I will say is if you go to tweakedaudio.com and put in the discount code MELTDOWN, you can get some earbuds for 33% off and free shipping.

Not a bad gift for. One of those holidays that shall remain nameless. So, go to tweakedaudio.com, enter the discount code MELTDOWN, and start shopping for whatever those things are. I want you to work with this guy. The parade may depend on it.

From the moment they met. The parade isn't about money. They felt they were perfectly wrong for each other. We don't have to like each other, but we do have to work together. So obnoxious.

He sleeps really hard. But love. You're dating him? This is a business slash work thing. Sounds like a date to me.

Marches to a heartbeat all its own. Live in the moment and see what happens. Love at the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Want some music for your ears? Doo-Wop Shop makes it easy to rent for any event, business meeting, or special occasion.

From PA systems to karaoke machines to just about anything that makes noise, you can rent it from the Doo-Wop Shop. In Louisville, find them either at their Highland Store at 1587 Bardstown Road or in the East End at 2915 South Hurstburn Parkway. And look for them online at doo-wop-shop.com. Doo-Wop Shop. We're serious about music.

Hi, I'm Leah Thompson. You're listening to Movie Meltdown. An evil outlier that you can imagine is about to engulf the earth. Oh, no, no. We have fights here all the time.

Can you just sit there? She took my eggs. It's time for Sofa Theater. Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, of course, and cranberry sauce, which is easy, I mean, Let's open the can. Oh, sweet.

I like it from the can. Nobody likes it from the can. It's just completely selfish of her asking us to come all. The way to New York. Some families do whatever it takes to remain close.

They're probably not even going to come. Okay, everybody, let's move it! And then there are families who know better. We're going to have a very nice time. You don't actually believe that.

It's possible I think yes no no does anybody have a stove by. Tomorrow try Wayne in 5D he's got a new stove are. You Wayne Wayne with a new stove. What makes her think she can cook all of a sudden I don't remember her ever being in the kitchen she's met this new guy. Bobby apparently this guy Bobby reminds her of me this is a nice thing you're doing you must have a special relationship we're.

Very close for days i've been trying to think of nice april memories and i can only come up with one she was just gazing out the window and she said oh mother don't you just love every day that was me what. About the crayon drawing she did of the main flower the one you had framed that was me too cut it out you don't get along do you not at all never. Have Just off the top of my head, I have one. She was sleeping. She was wearing a pink nightgown.

That was me. Kidding. You've never been in love. Yeah, well, it does things to you. Once there was one day when everybody seemed to know they needed each other.

Pieces of April. Welcome to Krispy Kreme. May I take your order? Just remember, everybody, April is cooking. We'll need an extra dozen glaze.

Even though I met you only recently I find myself falling in love with you. I don't know quite how to put this decently. But what's the chance that you could love me too? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Has made my dreams come true.

And turned my. Gray sky blue. Why, it's you, you, you, you, you. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Turkey season?

We know how you love turkey. Speaking of that, what is this guy's deal with veganism? Because I remember the thing that I hated the most about a boy was about the stupid jabs at veganism. And that's the same dude. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of us.

Peace in April. We are getting ahead. Let's begin. But I do think it's funny within the communities themselves when there becomes this little war. Because we did have friends that were vegetarian and were pretty hardcore about it.

And then they had friends that were vegan. And they're at a party. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm working around whatever they all brought. Just finding what I want. Then the vegetarian offers something to the vegan.

And he's like, well, if you'd eat cheese like a normal person... So I'm like, each one is like a stage of like, well, but you won't eat. Never mind. It becomes these levels of like everybody overanalyzing what the other person has their thing about. And I don't know.

I thought that was funny because I feel like it does exist. And I like the fact that the chick has a lot of attitude. I was. Just confused about how she didn't just kind of presume somebody wants to borrow my oven for Thanksgiving that she can assume it's going to be something with me because it's Thanksgiving. She agreed in the first place and then was taken by surprise.

So that lady's just kind of a jerk. She's just kind of a jerk. With all her bumper stickers on her door. Right? Just to establish who she is.

It's usually how it goes, actually. People with those bumper stickers are very well established in their mind. All right, so this week's holiday edition of Sofa Theater is. You sound excited about this. You don't think it's a holiday?

Sorry to stop you, but you were just like... There we go, it's holiday time. If we've learned anything from the holidays, it's really. I am so overwhelmed with joy that the whole old group is back together again. Spending time with the family is trying on many occasions, but...

This week's feature is Pieces of April. The year is 2003. The director is Peter Hedges, and the synopsis, according to IMDb, is, and I would say it's a spoiler, but it really is the premise of this movie, a wayward daughter invites her dying mother and the rest of her estranged family to her apartment for Thanksgiving dinner. That's not a spoiler. It's established pretty early that she's got cancer.

I'd rather she have cancer than just have a really bad wig. What year was this? 2003. 2003. 2003.

2003. Doesn't it feel even older, though? It feels like it was written right after the director saw Singles. 96? This would be mid-90s, Soundgarden in the background kind of.

That was actually my complaint of the film when I saw it in 2003. Okay, wow, good. Which, what was? 10 years ago. Just that it felt dated.

It felt dated? Yeah. Now it just all feels retro, but. Which, I mean, which part? To me, everything in that era now, like, everything late 90s till, like, pretty far into the 2000s, like, you just get that technology thing.

Like, even now, I'm like, why didn't everybody have a cell phone? Like, you know, we all are just attached to them now, so. Yeah, we can't remake this one. The only person that had a cell phone was Cisco. I don't understand, you know, why is.

That's because we assumed at the beginning there that he was probably a drug dealer, right? That's kind of what they were setting up like. They were trying to give you that idea. And then I told Len when we were watching. It, they want us to think he's a drug dealer.

Because they're being all coy about he has that thing he has to go do. And he's black. Who says that thing I have to go do? Movie people. And then we're going to feel really bad because he's not going to go.

It was never drugs. It turns out he's going to get some nice clothes so he can go sell drugs. So he can sell better drugs to better people. I thought that was a little coy. It goes on for far too long.

It takes him half the day to get a blazer. Well, they were all pimp clothes, man. What do you want? Because there's not a Salvation Army, you know, every other block. In New York.

I guess he didn't know that's where he was going, but that's kind of what I was thinking, because I'm like, I could get to like five places similar to that in a very short amount of time. Except they're all closed on Thanksgiving. Like, as you saw, he passed by the closed grocery store to establish that, in fact, all businesses were closed on Thanksgiving. I mean, I think they were trying to just... That's what I was thinking.

Why did he not plan ahead? Yeah. I mean, I won't diss a little subplot to where the new boyfriend is trying to do the best he can to make a good impression, but it's like they padded it to almost make it like a second little minor movie within. That kind of came. Across as the most unnecessary thing.

Well, and they needed something to get him out of the way because she had to have her own struggles going on by herself, so it's like, we need to send him on a thing somewhere. And it really is that thing he has to do. So it's a very short movie as is. So maybe they just needed to bulk up the plot in the runtime a little. Bit.

I guess the other reason why I asked the 2003 thing, it really felt, and I don't even know about the date of release, but Little Miss Sunshine, it's almost the road trip and the grandma and the, Everything seemed like they were trying to be that storyline as well. This predates it by three years. Yeah. But it does feel like that exact same. And that was one thing that I was kind of thinking as I was watching it.

And that's at least one thing that I like about it. Little Miss Sunshine. I watched that movie and I'm like, there's no way these characters exist in real life. I can't really buy that with that movie. It's fun.

It's silly. It's like almost watching... You know, a National Lampoon's movie. It's like, yeah, these are fun extensions of characters, but I don't find them credible. But, you know, on this one, I found them a little bit more plausible than that genre of movie usually offers up.

I did get flashes of that with the old lady in the backseat. I mean, it was a little National Lampoon's for me. Yeah. Am I the only person who got a good man? It's hard to find.

It's just.... It's just you. Would you like to elaborate on that? Oh, you know the story with the grandma in the backseat and she brings the cat and the cat jumps out and they all get murdered? It's just you.

It's just the road trip with a little family. And murder. And then nothing else happens. Well, you don't know that at the beginning. That's true.

They could get murdered. they think they're about to get murdered by a scary black guy with a bloody face. Right. That's true. And I will say that that part did actually make me laugh out loud. I was like, oh, this is where this is all going.

I felt like his performance was great. Which one? The boyfriend? Yeah. I really did like him, and that's one of those that could have been, I don't know, it could have gone the wrong way.

It could have seemed like we weren't supposed to like him because you're on the family side or something, but from the first moment, he's so damn likable. And then all the way through, you're like, No, he's, like, the best thing that's ever happened in her life. Like, he's the one person that's, like, actually cares about her and is, like, trying to help her get her life together and, like, worries about what's best for her. Like, even above himself. I wanted him to leave her because I thought she was a horrible person.

I was like, what redeeming quality does she have? She hates everyone. She's rude to everyone in her entire family. No, I was okay with her. That all seemed right in my mind.

Oh, okay. Well, I. I'm a jackass as well. I don't know. What's that?

Well, as the black sheep of my family, and it's not anything like that because I get along with my family, but I understood it, I guess. And also, I watched this for the first time 10 years ago, and so 10 years along now, a lot more stuff has happened. To kind of this... Yeah, I don't know. And that's the way I kind of see it.

A lot of people have cohesive families. Components of my family just hate one another. It's like you can tell if you get me around, you know, all my brothers, you know, we're going to be looking at each other like, I fucking hate you. I hate. Between the brothers or other family members?

When I see all these photos being posted, you know, online of everybody at the holidays and everyone's just like all lovey-dovey, it's like, no, I totally get like that aspect of the movie to where, you know, An entire chunk of the family doesn't want to talk to a sibling. Or, you know, you don't even want to get over. And as soon as you're going over, like, you're pre-eating because it's like, oh, they think that they're going to be able to cook a meal. You need to fill up before you go over there because it's going to taste like shit. Like, that expectation, I've been there, and I've also had that happen to me.

So, you know, that aspect of it, you know, I very much identify with. Which is always why I've kind of like... The movie sort of clicked with me. It's got some caricatures of human beings that I don't find... They almost don't fit in.

Like the fellow... The other boyfriend? Yeah. Yeah, that was a little silly. Well, and I'm talking the guy that locks her turkey up.

Sean Hayes. Yeah. I can't stand that character in the movie and... It's like you're the most effeminate, lecherous guy in the world. Your personality and the way you're doing this performance does not sink in with this guy that's wanting to make a move on this girl while her boyfriend's out.

Is that what that was? Because, again, he plays it so weird, I wasn't sure what exactly. He was doing. And I only assume it because the camera is doing just the pan of Katie Holmes' performance. Rear while she's cooking But.

I assume Sean was like Whatever don't want any of that so Hello. What Hello. I was knocking on a lot of doors Looking for you Yours was ajar Come. In How's it going. No foreseeable problems I was about to check your turkey myself, then I thought, since it's yours, maybe you'd prefer to do the checking.

Okay. I certainly could do it for you, and will, if you'd like. Didn't want to presume. It's fine, whatever. It's a common misconception that you can just stick a turkey in the oven.

Turkey needs to be tended to. He needs to be cared for lovingly. One must pay close attention to poultry. Sure. So much can go wrong.

Turkey could burn in places, be overcooked, undercooked, which is a health hazard. And what about basting? Look, Wayne, I'll be up in a second, okay? Okay. A second's up.

Just give me a minute. Tick-tock. It was a long time where I just didn't like his... Mostly, his TV performance was so one-note and so kind of offensive that I was just like, I just didn't like him. And I've seen him in other stuff, and I've seen him on shows now, and I'm like, he's not bad.

I don't hate him in the real world, but that character on TV got so bad that this was at least dialed back a little, but it was so weird. Which character? It just didn't fit the... Oh, Will and Grace. Yes.

I've never seen it. Yeah, it's okay. You're not missing much. I was not thrilled with pretty much everybody on that except for... What's her name?

Megan Mullally. Yes, Megan. Megan was hilarious. It almost made up for everyone else being kind of terrible because the other three main cast members I was not thrilled with. But yeah, in this one, it's like he's not playing that note that he always played.

So I was like, well, that's nice, I guess. At first, I was like, this is refreshing. He's doing it. No, what is he doing? Like, I just.

Could never make up my mind what he was doing with that role. It was just weird. It felt like another movie. It's like we just walked into another movie. Yeah.

And tonally, I don't understand what's happening. Like when he's talking about, you know, the oven and he's stroking it. I'm like, okay, evidently at some point in time, you all like, I'm sure the crew was standing back and they were laughing and found that funny. But at no point in time did someone have the guts to stand up and say, This does not fit the tone of the rest of the film. It doesn't.

I think there were things... See, I was kind of annoyed by certain things, and I think there was another one in my mind that was the quirky character forced in to make it feel more like an independent movie does. You know, you always got this, oh, look at this fully developed character in this real world that... oh, I'd love to know more about that character, but we don't get much of it. Which is also the way I felt towards going into the whole quirky indie thing, because that definitely was on the rise in the early 2000s, with them just getting the mom high. And she's listening to the rap music.

I'm like, oh, this is the funny little quirky indie comedy moment where it's like, ha-ha, the mom's high. I feel that whole scene actually kind of moving. The way she's coping with her own mortality. To me, I liked it more when it came to the COVID mortality, like when they're looking at the photo album. I think that's a really nice little scene where you're seeing why the son, what he's doing with the photos.

And then just she's looking through it. She brought it for April to potentially see if she's interested. And, you know, even the mom or the grandmother has like that moment where she's like, you know, I thought her singing was better. Like she. she at that moment shows like a little bit of clarity as opposed to just being some stereotypical Alzheimer's patient or patient with dementia or someone. And she just looks over and she realizes what it is and she knows, but it's almost like you get the sense that maybe the grandmother, the mom's mother, um, she's almost using it as an angle to not deal with that situation like that.

It seems like it's very inferred in a very subtle scene. And I like that a lot. Well, and it's probably like those two scenes, but mostly the photo album is almost the only time in that, definitely up to that point in the movie that there's any humanity in the mom. Like the mom is just a horrible person, like the entire rest of the movie. And you're like, yeah, I know you're dealing with your stuff here, but these are still your children.

This is still your family and you can't, go that. Far like you're crossing the line i think part of that too is so you sympathize a little bit with april yeah so that way you see that you know as she's going around just pounding on people's doors like you need to open up you need to help me you kind of also understand it's just she's inherited some of that personality from her mom if anything maybe she's the most like her mother of all three of the children that's why they don't get along i don't. Think she's a terrible person actually this again this it's been so long since i've seen it since then i've I'm a father and I'm also doing that by myself, so I understand this weird pressure that comes.

From when the family's coming over. The part where she gets out and she starts ranting because she is so disappointed in April and this experience that they've had. It's kind of a mean thing, but at the same time, I don't know, it's just a weird kind of mentality that I felt sympathetic towards her. I can't imagine growing up and feeling like you can't connect to this person that you helped raise. Especially if you're dying on top of that.

I thought any of that that they earned in that was lost when she was going through the I can't think of one good memory from my child. Again, that was just mean for the sake of mean. If there's. Being a parent, if there's that kind of a problem, especially with a little kid, that there's nothing wrong with a little kid, unless they're pure evil. Unless this is a horror movie and this.

Is an evil child. She's the Damien, yeah. That's your fault. If you can't find something, some good memory, that's your fault. And you better get that out of your head because you're putting all of it on your child.

And a lot of that's true. And that's... I'm always saying that, and this will be fun for those of you that have children, which there are several here. Because I always, like, it's not just about this movie. Like, I always have this, like, serious tone when people decide to have children.

And I'm like, it's like you are entering into this agreement with life that you are now responsible for screwing up this person. Like, you are solely responsible, or maybe there's two of you. Together, you're responsible for... how messed up this person is going to be. And so many people just like, oh, well, this is what happened. We're having a kid.

And I'm like, no, really? Like you, so many people just do not take it seriously. And I watched these kids grow up and I watch how they're getting messed up. And half of it is just neglect. And half of it is just a tone that they're not.

And so, I mean, again, it certainly varies from parent to parent, but I think it's really interesting to see like, this sort of played out that we see. That frustrates you come to my work and it's like you hear students that are getting ready to have a baby to where they're like oh it's gonna be cute and they're almost like they're anticipating essentially having a new puppy as opposed to realizing the ramifications of what's coming down the pipeline then you'd really. Get and that's that's where i call bullshit but but it i mean there's another side to that too but well. I'm found that a little unbelievable that they just couldn't find that i mean come on it's almost like they make their family issues like that bottle of poison labeled poison and a melodrama it's like this this isn't adding up i know we're supposed to relate to them having family issues but there's kind of a hole.

There though at the same time i feel like there are some families to where they purposefully see what they want to see and so it's like i'm sure that she has done good things it's just they spent so long focusing on the bad it's like they almost pretended it doesn't exist and now believe that it doesn't it's a weird sense of denial. And we only see one day out of her life as well and at the end of the day she realizes she sees the other girl in the in the bathroom and realizes maybe some of this is my own fault and so i feel like we have that moment she's I'm sure, you know, maybe on any other day she could come up with some lovely memories from when April was a child. But on this particular just really terrible day, she just maybe doesn't even care to do so.

But I think that's, like, a huge message. And, again, not in the movie, in life. Like, it really is, and especially the younger the kid is, that, like, the reason the way they are the way they are is directly responsible. Maybe not 100%. but directly responsible for you and your environment and what you do. And it's like, it does just sort of continue to build as they get older, they go off on their own and they start making their own bad decisions, but that's a whole nother side to it.

But I think it is one of those, like the mother feels like in my mind watching it, I'm like, the mother feels like she's not taking any responsibility. Like April's just a horrible person and I don't like her. And I'm like, well, how did she end up this way? It's like, yeah, you're talking about times when she's doing drugs and when she's not listening, but, how did she get to that point because she didn't just happen there one day it's like it was something that happened in her life and you were there for that and you somehow let it get to that point not that you're personally responsible i mean that that stuff just happens in life but it's also the way you deal with it when you're at that point instead of just letting it lapse like it seems like she has these last.

Years they infer that you know she's um had cancer for a while and they also infer april's been this way for a while and so you know part of me is i was like you know putting one and one together it's like is it possible that doing all these drugs all this stuff it was basically april's way of coping with the fact that her mom was potentially dying it's like she didn't know how to deal with it any other way the other kids had the strength and maturity to deal with it in their own way find their own outlets but this is just how she found hers and the mom never recognized that I. Guess the empty place for me is I never really see anything wrong with April. Me neither. I hear about it. I tell stories.

It's like they don't trust us to care about her if we see her being. They tell stories, but they're also pretty unreliable narrators. Well, I actually like that it is her now, and we don't see her doing these horrible things now. Because I like the fact that it is her trying to do something with her life. That she's almost at this point been branded as she's the bad kid.

She's the black sheep. She's the, you know, as though at that point you have no choice. You just have to continue down the road to be a fuck up for the rest of your life. And I don't believe that. And I like the fact that midway in she's like, no, I want to be with Someone who cares about me.

I want to do something with my life. I don't want to keep making these mistakes. Essentially, we're almost on par with the boyfriend in the sense to where we don't have that context for what she'd done in the past. And so if this family shows up and they're telling us all this stuff, we're like him to where it's like, I don't see that. I don't know that aspect of her.

And I don't care because this is who she is now and I don't see anything wrong with it. And we don't know that she actually did anything bad either because their concerns were tattoos, which is not a personality flaw. Her other concerns were drugs. We don't know. What that was, it may have just been daughter.

Yeah, she was doing drugs in the car or in the bathroom. Not only was she doing the drugs, she was teaching her son to do them better. And she told him her one thing was to complain to him that he didn't roll with Titan. Again, kind of being a jerk. Have we talked about how cute she is?

April? I agree. I was always a sucker. I've never noticed that actress before. See, that's the thing.

You were always on the other side, on the Dawson clan. I tried to watch it and I couldn't. Yeah, the writing's rough to get through. But that's the thing. From day one, it was like, and it's funny because it kind of backfired on the network because they brought in, what's her face?

The blonde chick. Michelle Williams. They brought her in to be the big female lead and she was supposed to get all the attention and she was supposed to be the one And America collectively went, no, it's the girl next door. Like we all kind of, which it feels like that's the way it was supposed to be in the story, but I still don't think they planned for that. And they started shifting the writing as it went on, because I don't think the Joey character was supposed to be as big a deal.

And everyone was just like, no, she's kind of great. And everybody wants that to be their next door neighbor. And like, so again, it was a weird, simple show in its own way, but it had decent performances. I never got on board with the Michelle Williams thing. And it's funny that now she's gone through all these weird little performances and indie roles and has built her way up to being this big actress.

I was just never thrilled with her. But I always thought Katie had potential to do way more than that. With me, it was just what she was wearing. I'm just a sucker for that kind of low-dollar style. It's just awesome.

Again, I like that that was her outfit for her big day. And it was almost like, I'm still going to be myself. Like, I want you to accept me for who I am, and that includes I dress like this all the time. It was just so great. The thing she did with her hair, the little...

What is that? I don't even know what that is. Then she had that thing wrapped around her hand somehow. That was really cool. She's pretty likable.

For me, cuteness notwithstanding, I thought she was the weakest part of the film for a movie that is titled after the main character. I just felt like there was so much shorthand about the feelings that we were supposed to feel for her. She has no charisma. There was no quality to her that made me care at all. I got that she was supposed to have this gruff exterior, but really she had a heart of gold.

But really she was just misunderstood, and why can't people see who she really is? And it's just like, I didn't know who she really is. She just felt like this very empty vessel to me. I think that's why everything, all of her troubles and all of her past were on purpose. She was a blank canvas, and we were supposed to be that character.

So we could project all of our faults onto her, say, no, we're better, and then, oh, well, she's cute. And then. And maybe that was part of her problem. Maybe she was one of those girls that was a blank canvas and she waited until the boyfriend came along to attach herself to and all she did was end up with horrible boyfriends. Maybe she was an asshole until Bobby came along.

Bobby was the one that kind of went, oh, well, you know, you don't have to be like that. And she saw something good in him and then wanted to be better herself. And that's why when he left, she was an asshole again. I thought she was kind of an asshole during the movie. I didn't get that.

Well, she was just kind of entitled, and she was kind of gruff, and she wasn't particularly nice to the people who were trying to help her out at first. And then they would ask a little more, and then she would show how she was really a normal person. I don't know. I would say it's probably fair that one of the reasons I largely like it is I almost identify more with the situation than the character. I totally feel that, because I mean, you know, like going back to the way it is with my family, you know, the first, you know, we always had the Christmas tradition of getting together for breakfast and, you know, and my grandparents, they would always just go out and get Krispy Kremes.

And I thought, okay, my first year in my new house, I'm going to have like, you know, a nice breakfast. So I made like, you know, a breakfast straw to hash brown casserole. Like I made, you know, a big spread. And then, you know, the first person to show up is, you know, the sort of black sheep brother. And he, comes in and i was like oh the food's already he's like i just picked up some donuts at the gas station and i was like okay and then my grandparents get there and they had brought um like an inman's strudel and then i was like well i made this you're like no we're not going to eat that thanks for having faith in me guys and then you know i and then same with like my mom came up and she, she's like, Oh, we just stopped at McDonald's.

So like everybody, like they knew, they knew that I was making all this meal. And you know, my brother, um, John, he, thankfully he like went and got this nice, um, spread of stuff. He's like, this is really good. And my grandfather's like, it looks like shit. And then my brother, John's like, no, it's real good.

You should try it. My grandfather went over and I've made wassail that, you know, had to like simmer overnight, you know, let all flavors out. And he gets this mug of it and he sips on it and he goes, tastes like horse piss and just dumps it out. And the whole time I'm just like being nice because that's family. It's like, and so I totally sympathize.

And then the next year I did it again and I even knew, I was like, I knew they're all going to eat before they come here and fuck them. I'm still going to make this breakfast in the event that they want to be nice. And so I totally bond with or identify with She knows they're going to shit on whatever she's doing. And she even kind of doesn't want to do it. She's doing it anyway, because that's what the holidays are about, is not killing your family, but bringing them over there.

So you relate to this in a very specific way, as if the writer had been reading your diary. I guess he has. This is sort of the Bo Kalin story. I mean, I think it's identifiable for... Everyone who doesn't have, like, the goofy Hallmark Christmas holidays.

You know, this idea, like, everybody just comes over, everyone has a great meal, exchanges presents, and it's great! It's like, yeah, congratulations. It is, but they give you both of the possible good endings they could possibly. Have gone with. I think the ending goes on a little long.

It's like, okay, she gets to know the people in her building, and it's nice, and they come over, and that Oh, and her family comes after all. Oh, and the guys, the motorcyclists. See, and that's where I thought it got a little bit greedy. I felt like re-watching it, I thought they should have just ended it with the initial photograph. Like, that's it.

Not show everybody showing up like, you know, it's the ending of A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life. And don't even establish that necessarily she brought the neighbors over. It's just. You hear a knock at the door, she opens it up, and there's, like, the photograph still. It's like, you've got to cut there, and that would have been much more subtle, and it would have worked so much better.

Why do they have so little trust in the neighbors that they're still doing a self-time photograph with all those people hanging out in the room with them? This is runoff with the camera. That's true. It's New York City. I do, it's one of those, I really, thinking about it after the fact, it's like, I could have even been fine with the parents not coming back.

Like, it would totally sell the mom down the river. They have that redeeming moment when she sees the other daughter in the bathroom. But I'm kind of like, it really would have still been fine with me as a story. Because that's kind of my favorite thing about it is almost the structure of it. It's just like, okay, her family is totally estranged from her.

But in the process of this crazy situation that the oven doesn't work, she is forced to go out and meet her neighbors. Because none of us really interact with our neighbors. They're all weirdos and. We know it. We don't want anything to do with them.

But in this situation, yeah, Fred's hiding from one right now. And when she's talking to the neighbors coming down the steps, they're not even listening to her. They're just walking past him. I don't think that's necessarily a New York thing, even though that's great. That's universal, I think.

At least now. I don't know that it always was. But I like that this bad situation forces her to have to interact with the people around her. And in this one, again, it's very movie-like. In this one day, she builds this makeshift family. out of the people living in her building.

It would have been awesome to me if they were all eating at the end of the movie. Yeah, to me, the neighbors that seemed the most believable and I really liked was the couple that she meets at the very beginning when she's first using it. That exchange I really liked, especially that, like. Their relationship seems very believable, I feel like. Just the constant, like, undercutting one another.

But, you know, it's... But at the. Same time, like, you always know what I'm thinking. Exactly. Really, it's very, it does feel like they were like a couple that had been together for years.

And I like that they bonded. Like, it was one of those, like, when she answered the door, she had that, you know, you're very privileged attitude. What have you got to offer in life? And then, like, we cut to her crying. And it's like, the family trauma is the one thing that bonds us.

Across the board, and that, I guess, is what you can take from this movie, that we all see at least some piece of that family trauma and be like, all right, I get that part. About that scene, though, I was kind of, I feel kind of weird about the woman. She opens the door and all April says is, I've got a problem. And this woman is. Immediately like, you're young, you're white, like, what the fuck?

I loved the laugh, though, when she laughed in her face. That was. And I think, too, that that almost might be her kind of joking with April, and April doesn't get the joke. You've got problems, do you? I think there's a lot of people that are like that.

Yeah, but a lot of people are kind of jerks. But she's not. This woman isn't. She's a really nice woman, so it just seemed really kind of weird. But with all of them, you have to get past the gruff.

She's married to that. Guy from The Wire who always said she is. I'm sure that's what he was thinking. Going back to the Krispy Kreme thing, my biggest concern with the movie was that scene where the mom is like, how can anyone not believe in God? And we get this nice wide shot of Krispy Kreme.

They paid for the movie, is what we. Apparently. And they are God. And that's it. Oh, I thought her prank on the family was just completely unbelievable.

I mean... Like, hilarious? It was kind of funny, but I mean, it took me out of, like, really believing in the people and the situation. And it was drug out a little too much. Like, she was playing it so much that you're like, okay, now she's going to say something stupid, right?

Which, I mean, I don't think it's that bad of a performance. It wasn't until I was, like, looking up some stuff, and I was trying to figure out where Oliver Platt disappeared to is how I got on IMDb with this page. That's a good question. But I suddenly realized, like, oh, she was nominated for Best Supporting Academy Award for that role. And I was like, I like this movie, but I don't see that.

Not out of her. To me, it's just I feel like some TV beats in the writing. I just feel like they're sampling some TV show moments. Which, by now, if you fast forward all these years, he's writing for television. Yeah, well, and how believable is it that their kids are both on the newsroom?

I mean. But going back to Oliver Platt, it solved my question, because he was... everywhere in. The late 90s early 2000s definitely everywhere like 10 movies a year and it'll suddenly he just disappears and it's like oh he's apparently he's doing more television now like he's always still busy but he just went more to television from film. That was kind of my thing I'm sitting there as we get into the watching him and I'm just like I said that I'm like remember when Oliver Platt was a thing like yeah he was just he was never really A-list but he was definitely a go-to B-list kind of guy in like that late 90s era and Yeah, I was kind of thinking the same thing. It's like you go to the village eight at any given time, he's in like four of the eight movies.

Yeah, really. Well, and it was kind of interesting, I guess, to see him not be a complete and utter jackass, because he's usually so unlikable in a lot of his performances, even when he's good, because he's turned in some really good stuff over the years, but it's not normally likable characters, so you do feel like he's the only one in her corner. As you're getting there, he's the one that's the only reason they know where she is, that they've kept in contact with her, is because Dad's still kind of pulling for it. Even as Paul Bunyan in Tall Tale, he's an asshole. That's right.

For those of you who forgot that movie existed. Everybody did. I remember seeing commercials for it on TV when I was a kid, but I never saw it. Patrick Swayze's Finest Hour. Patrick Swayze.

Makes me want to go watch it now, though. It's another episode. Yeah. Didn't she sing kind of middle-child-y for the first girl? No, I got that, though, because I realized, oh, I'm the first pancake.

No wonder. I felt that, actually. Yeah, that was a good line, I thought. Actually, I like that expression. I never heard that before.

Yeah, I was one of those, oh, now it comes together. You're supposed to throw out the first pancake because it's not the good one. I kind of got that from that role. So, again, I feel like there is that, like, when you're the first child and you're supposed to do all this stuff and you don't, You get the extra level of black sheep, the extra fuck up of the bunch when you're supposed to be the one leading. The way and you're not.

And they established that the mom was really young when she had her and probably didn't want her and blah. But I'm interested in how you make pancakes. I feel like. The first one's usually the best one. Really?

Yeah. Mine too. Mine are never, no. It's not the case for me. It's not the case for me.

I didn't know it was a thing. And that line, I was like, they know me. They've been reading my diary, too. Have they also checked my waffle maker? Because usually that first one of those is a little iffy, too.

I always throw out the middle child. That's what happened to that other kid. Good thing you only had two. That you know of. Actually, sometimes.

Remember poor Bobby? Sometimes I can't believe my siblings and I survived our childhood. And then I think, you know, our backyard was lumped. It would explain a lot you do have an odd childhood friend yeah. So can we talk about the other stuff this fella's done all right because i was just kind of looking over it and i feel like it's all kind of the same genre which i'm gonna call quirky heartwarming.

Yeah it's definitely hitting that that same stride as he runs through most of his career there. And then I saw that he did this film that I just immediately discounted wholly when I saw the trailer, The Odd Life of Timothy Green, which looked unbelievably horrible. And watching the trailer, I was so confused. Like, this is so quirky, yet so heartwarming. And I don't understand what's happening.

And I wasn't sure what audience they were going for. Then I saw that it was created by Zappa. And now I kind of totally want. To see it more than anything in the world. Another episode.

So has anybody seen it? No. No, I saw the trailer and went, what is this? And Jennifer Garner, and goodbye. Well, it's the same with Dan in real life.

I've never seen that one either. I didn't really hear anything positive about it. No, quirky, heartwarming. I didn't like it. I did like that Sandra Lurkey was on at the end, and I liked all the Stephen Merritt stuff in this soundtrack.

So I will say that if this man has nothing going for him, He has at least similar musical taste to mine. I was going to say that. I think, and you don't really get into it, like the end, they kind of knock out a whole bunch of them, but I'm like, there is a really awesome soundtrack work there. It is him. If you can.

Deal with some sort of quirky, heartwarming TV moments, there are a. Couple of really good ones. Which, Dan in real life? Dan in real life, yeah. There are a.

Couple of really good moments. Should we mention that you're eating pizza right now so people don't worry? It is the Thanksgiving episode. He's eating one of my muffins that are going to be dry because I was trying to make it vegan for Lucy, but. Then I didn't realize that, yeah.

And I put whipped cream all over the top. Now we know why Bo's family doesn't eat at his house. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we just had a bunch of donuts before we got here. What about the title Pieces of April?

I thought they were all going to wind up eating them. It's a sequel to Pieces. I can't relate to quirky, heartwarming movies about family because in no universe do I want to reunite and have a happy moment with my family. I just want them to stay away from me. Just leave me alone.

And that's my happy, heartwarming moment that my family did not try to contact me. or get me presents, or come over. That's my idea of heartwarming. We are dating drug dealers. Give it a couple years. I'm on the level where it's like, okay, in any other time of the year, it's not socially acceptable to try to make that attempt, but it's like, the holidays, it's socially acceptable to try, and you know, it usually fails, but it's like, it doesn't seem a tad out of place.

Like, this is my angle. It is sort of a forced thing that we do to ourselves like we're gonna enjoy this holiday like and he's almost saying that at that point outside the car but like you do have those especially parents that are like kids are being a brat and throwing a fit and you're just like no we're gonna have a good holiday and like so it does seem like that time of year you make excuses and you try to force this happy version of everything in there and it doesn't always work that way i. I just want to know if while they were eating anyone noticed how dirty the sink was I loved. Actually, that was my favorite part, was just how filthy those apartments were. The apartment was, yeah.

And, like, the week-old pizza in the refrigerator. I was like, I'm not eating any of this stuff. Well, just that opening, like, scene of them making that food look possibly the most disgusting most foods have ever looked. And I also felt like they were like, okay, Katie Holmes. Here's some stuff.

You try to figure out what to do with these utensils and these vegetables. And it was just like this starlet. Look at the potato. Yeah. She had no idea what she was doing.

I've never made food before. That was her most realistic performance. She's like, where's craft services? Right. Just go get a bagel over there.

I'm cool. There you go, Charlie. That Waldorf salad, if someone serves that to me ever, I might smack them. But the. Stupid bumper stickers on the fronts of doors aside...

Like, as soon as they walk up, it's like, oh, look at these bumper stickers. I know who's going to be. Behind this door. It's just like Nightmare Before Christmas. You opened up the Christmas door.

You're going to go to Christmasland. That's kind of the way I felt with the bumper sticker. Everything else, though, about that building seemed very believable. Like, you know, here's this girl where she's really not holding down a very good job, and she moves to New York, which is an expensive city to live in. And, you know, the first time she has someone over to her first place, she owns.

I mean, it's utter squalor. But, you know, you're proud because it's your first place. And you're making your way as bad as it is. Actually, that is one of my favorite moments was the crazy cat guy. But before we get to the crazy cat, like that speech about the mother, I'm like, oh, this is great.

And then, like, I know it's not going to end like this. And it ends in a goofy, silly way. But I'm like, that lead into it for me was kind of worth it. It was pretty fun. I didn't understand why she discounted him.

I mean, he had a functional stove. If you've been around somebody with cats, there's cat hair everywhere. It's a desperate situation. We didn't smell the smell. I've dealt with, and it's a family member who does not realize that there's cat hair in the food that they bring you.

We won't name names. But yeah, she will show up with, hey, here you go. And I'm like, oh, we're going to have to weed through this. I'm fine. Are you a cat heritarian?

No, I just, I have filth everywhere in my home. But I try to keep fur out. Of the food. One Thanksgiving, my mom had, like, this stuffing in, like, a glass thing sitting on the stove and left the burner, the electric burner of the stove on. And so we're just sitting there, and at some moment, the glass thing shatters.

And it explodes, and the stuffing goes everywhere, and there's shards of glass. And she's like, well, that's ruined it. You need a rabbit. And you thought to yourself, this is like a scene out of a movie. A holiday movie where things go wacky.

But it all works out in the end. Speaking of the end, those still photographs, what movie? Was it To Serve With Love? I was trying to remember what movie ends that way. Or maybe there's lots of movies that end this way.

It feels like a couple of them. With a series of photographs? Yeah. There are a lot. That's a thing.

But, I mean, it at least fits in that the son was doing that the whole time. So I do, like, especially, like, the opening of the door photograph was kind of cool because we do feel like we're switching to his perspective for a second and we are, like, he is literally taking these photographs to document for the mother. So I kind of like that moment. The end ones were a little more cliché. Yeah, if you've seen Too Many Cooks, which has been circulating online, that ends with a photo.

More than once. That's about a family. An extended family. It's one of my favorite things. I like that guy.

What's his name? Gallagher? Something. Jim Gallagher. Who was the son?

That was someone in the cast. Yeah. I think he's the son. He was not bad, actually. I ended up, like.

He was a short-term 12. I don't feel like he had a lot to do in it. But he becomes the only other one that's kind of likable. Like, the daughter is such an overachiever, and, like, so down against again we're supposed to like april and she's so anti april for some reason that we don't really even know why other than like she's the older sister so it's some sort of weird competition maybe but or. Maybe it's not necessarily it's a competition is once april fucked up and it's like oh well it's on you so you get the unrealistic expectations put all the pressure on her resentment yeah could be.

But we don't really get much of that too she's and i've come to like her now she's yeah. Just is. I don't know, the other black sheep in my family, she just turned 18, and my siblings will kind of talk about her in ways that this felt kind of similar to. I didn't actually like her acting in this movie, though. I felt like, sorry, I felt like it was really, or kind of specific and contrived, but I.

Get it at least. There was no depth to it, really. Like, you didn't like her, and you're like, there's not really anything to like, and then all of a sudden, at the end, they have this sweet moment where you're like, oh, we're sisters and we love each other. But I'm like, we didn't get any sense of that the whole car ride up here. Yeah, that's why I think they should have just ended it with that initial photo.

Like, when the rest of the family shows up and you get more photos, I'm like, no. That's the only thing that, to me, they got greedy on. But I feel like, again, I almost bought that moment of them. Like, I do feel like she needed her big sister. Like, I feel like that moment was genuine.

It just didn't fit with anything else they'd done. And I wish we would have seen a little piece of that. I wish maybe she had a moment in the car where she was like, where the hell is she? Like, I needed a big sister and she wasn't there for me. And like, if we saw something break in that like facade that she's kind of putting up, I kind of would have liked that because I feel like the moment at the end almost would have been real if we would have had some piece of that other.

And the other part of the story. For me, I felt like that kind of character was about how she was sort of the anti-April. And so that was sort of how she built her identity, was that she was the good alternative to April. And so if April comes back into the picture in any way, shape, or form, then her entire world structure is threatened. Again, not something.

No, it's not. But still, I would have liked to have seen a little bit of that come through. That there was still something in there, too. fine redeeming about her because she kind of doesn't come off that way. I just wanted to smack her the whole time. Yeah kind of but i think that's that's one of my favorite moments in it and i think it is sort of solidifying that feeling of what we're getting from april is is especially the whole black sheep thing that we're on now it's like that moment in the and of her in the stairwell and and again our worst character is upstairs calling her a bad girl bad girl But the moment when she says to herself, no, I'm not.

And it's almost her telling herself. And that's why I kind of got that feeling of her rebuilding her life. She's like, no, I'm not. And I'm not forced down that road. I can do what I want to do.

And I'm trying to do better. And I felt like in that one scene, like that's the one time I feel like you see her being like, I don't want to be forced into that black sheep thing. I don't, you know, it's not written that I have to be that way from here on out. And little niggling things. It was just me.

In China, they know what Thanksgiving is. So if they're Chinese in America, then they're going to know it. Is this a big thing to go to KFC? That's Japan, I believe. Or is it?

I thought Japan had that. I think China is just KFC. KFC is huge in China, and it's a filthy fucking lie, too. Because I walked in, and I looked up the menu, and I was like, Because, you know, I'm not going over there to eat Western food, but I'm going in for the novelty of what's different. There's no mashed potatoes and gravy because they don't have, like, when you try to explain gravy, they look at you like you're insane.

It's like, well, you take the fat drippings from the meat that you're cooking and then you, like, mix in, you know, some cornstarch or something and let it cook and then you put it back on the meat. What's that stuff they put on Wosu guy? They're like, what? I think all that stuff's been Americanized anyway now. Pizza Hut, though.

Pizza Hut is a nice sit-down restaurant over there. Like, you actually go in and a maitre d', you know. Seats you in the menu. Like, it's upscale dining. The wonders of young.

It's very weird. I once met a Chinese guy who said that in China, McDonald's delivers, because it's so expensive, even French fries are, like, something only, like, upper-middle-class people can afford. So if you're going to get from McDonald's, You just want a small fry, they'll bring it to you. No, it's pretty cheap. The main reason that they actually do the delivery is because you can eat so cheap from street vendors.

There's somebody selling food like every few feet. And so if they're going to compete with all the street vendors, they compete by delivering. Maybe he was just really poor. He was talking about how he was talking to his girlfriend and she was eating dog. And he was like, if you eat dog again, I'm going to break up with you.

She's like, Well, I'm going to have leftovers, so I guess this will be our last conversation. Okay, that's like something out of an indie movie right there. And then she jumped on the back of a stranger's motorcycle and drove off. I've done that before. And the dog's name was April.

Not the dog part. Of course, that's disgusting. No, a friend I visited in Beijing, though, for him, he had the same delivery man from the McDonald's down the way. and it was also his drug dealer. So, like, it was the best of both worlds. The guy would show up, and he would give him weed and junk food.

I thought you were going to say bring him his McDonald's and his diabetes medicine at the same time. We need to work on that. In this country. Why is it gross to eat dog but not cow? I don't think it is, actually.

I mean, it's just in America. It's just our mindset. It's not better or worse. They're both a bad thing. But we judge them for it.

Yes. I know a horse is illegal in America. It is. I don't know, it's weird. I think of that, I mean, I eat meat, but I think of that and it does seem really weird.

Like, I have a dog, I can't imagine ever eating a dog. But, I mean, if I was in a different country, I probably wouldn't really have. I don't think it would be that good because they aren't herbivorous and so just the quality of the meat's not gonna be yeah that's what i've heard. It's not very good didn't you say your wife had it and it wasn't very. Good no she was on her way to go to a restaurant that served like a nice restaurant she was in south korea and she was like okay i'm here i may as well go and the woman that was going to take her got sick, and then she.

Had to fly out. Do you get to choose, like, lobsters? I don't think so. Of course, it might be the opposite, because, I mean, the Chinese, they actually, it's reversed. Like, we're all about white meat here, and, you know, there's sort of the, a lot of people don't like dark meat.

It's flip-flopped. Speaking of which, where'd your puppy go? Notice he's hiding. Crazy bastards you're talking about. I mean, we already eat adorable animals here.

We eat lamb. I think it's just disconnected in this country. If most of the people that eat meat had to kill what they eat, a lot of people would stop eating meat. I realize that. I acknowledge that.

It's just the way we are. It's just ethnocentrism. The people that are. I think that is an adjustment and It's whether or not we can find a good way to back that off for all the people who don't want to take responsibility for killing their own feet. When I was in.

Third grade, for some reason, people came in and gave us whale. And we ate whale. And it was horrible. This was the blubber? Or the actual.

Yeah, and you couldn't quite chew it to where you could. This is when I really, really hope that Fred goes into this long story. It's kind of like in the opening of Moby Dick when you read for like ten chapters about all the different things that blubber can be used for. Continue your story, Ishmael. That's pretty much it.

Apparently they just did that so that I would have that story to tell for the rest of my life that I ate quail. Sounds like a street team thing. When I was a child, we went to a barbecue. My mom convinced me that what I'd eaten was snake, and I believed that. I believed that for, like, at least until I was a late teenager, you know, probably until I was 16.

And I was like, remember they were telling me what you had barbecued and ate snake? She goes, I was just kidding. I hate it when moms do that. And that's why you turned out this way, April. Your mother was a jerk.

My mom is a jerk. There's this really amazing short documentary that I've been trying to get people to watch. It's called The Blood of the Beast. It's on the Criterion edition of this old French horror movie called Eyes Without a Face, which is also really amazing. Is it by the same director then?

George Fondreau. He made this before Eyes Without a Face. He just goes into the slaughterhouse and he films everything and he juxtaposes it with images of the city and it's all in black and white because he didn't want it to be in color because it would turn people away. He wanted it to be aesthetically appealing, and the narration is just very matter-of-fact. This is what they do.

This is what's going on. Meanwhile, baby cows are being led in, and their heads are just being sawed off. It's a really incredible film, especially if you eat meat. People should know where it comes from. Recommendations, right?

Well, then it's odd that societies have odd taboos about going back to the whole thing. It's like, I don't I don't know that it is illegal to eat horse, but I mean, what do we do in Kentucky? We raise them for racing so we can whip them to death and make them go fast. To me, it's just the racing is almost as macabre as the eating. So it's weird that we put odd.

I'm pretty sure horse is illegal in the U.S. It is, because there was... I think it was the Aldi food store. Their meat was tested, and it was found to contain horse meat, and they got into a lot of trouble. But there are horse slaughterhouses here, which is a byproduct of the racing industry.

This episode not sponsored by Aldi. It's not for consumption, though, is it? It could be exported. I mean, it's very plausible that we. You.

Can't get lung for the haggis. That's why you can't make traditional haggis here, is you can't get lung. Mm-hmm. Which, to me, without the lung, it's vegetarian anyway. I mean, what's the point?

I put lung in all my films. I think the reason that some things are taboo and other things aren't, it's just like Western imperialism. A lot of it is. We just kind of decided what you do is wrong because you're backwards and you're not cultured and what we do is right because it just is. Merca is what that is.

You know, when we were in South America, they had guinea pigs. That's like, that's pretty standard in a lot of countries, I think. And I mean, they have little farms that raise them and everything. And so, um, some locals were like, okay, we're going to go out and, um, we're going to have guinea pig tonight. And I'm like, well, let's go ahead and try it since we're here.

Um, it wasn't good. It, I mean, and I was like, okay, I can get past that. It's that it's guinea pig. It's not, I don't feel anything for the animal specifically, but it just, um, was not to my tastes at all. And I, you know, Even.

In Cusco, the tapestry on the wall, huge mural of the Last Supper, which I thought was right in front of Jesus is bread and wine and a guinea pig. A roast guinea pig. Because if they were having it to them, if they were having a big celebration, obviously guinea. Pig would have been there. Obviously.

Yeah, it's... But it just was. I mean, to them it's, you know, like Thanksgiving kind of important dinner and it's not. And in the Garden of Eden, Eve eats a guinea pig. No, that would be potato if you were linking it to.

Quince. Right. But she's tempted by a guinea pig to do that. Guinea pigs are kind of shady. I was thinking it was the guinea pig of the tree of the fruit of knowledge.

I don't know. And everybody, when she's going to eat that guinea pig, you're going to hear it in the whole garden because those things squeal really loud. Well, I think the nervous behavior of guinea pigs may be related to them being guinea pigs. If you were a guinea pig... I think you're on to something.

I'm a guinea pig. Years and years ago. Here's how I worked a feeder supply, and I felt bad. For all the guinea pigs we kept in the back, you know, just breeding for, you know, sale. So I was at the grocery, and I picked up apples, and I just, like, sliced apples and given it to all of them.

And the next day, like, two-thirds of them were dead. And then, you know, I never fessed up to it, but the boss was right. They were like, some. Dumbass gave them apples. They got fucking cyanide in the seeds.

And I was like, oh, I don't. The darndest thing, anyway. Look at those snakes. Don't feel bad. My daughter just called.

I was trying to be nice. I was like, he. She said she killed a guy in a bathroom the other day. She felt kind of bad about it. And her boss said, I just heard a thump.

Go check the bathroom. And she assumed she meant the ladies' room. Because she's a girl... So she checked the ladies' room, and there was some, like. Woman in there.

She said, I guess she bumped something. And then later, a guy came out of the men's room and said, are you aware you have a man unconscious on the floor of the men's room? And I'm like, yeah, because I poke my head in there every so often. But it turned. Out, you know, how some people lead with the story a little bigger than it.

He probably isn't dead. He just, you know, got hit in his head. Hell down and it didn't exactly kill him it wasn't I don't think what do you think it's manslaughter. Well sometimes sometimes the bathroom stories turn out to. Be legitimate because years ago at the theater just some customer came out to where you know where the staff and I were talking and said hey just so you know some guy just walked in and he was complaining about how he pooped his pants and he started taking off clothes in the bathroom I was like, okay, so I went.

That sounds like that mall. And sure enough, it was very much the case. I opened, you know, there was no dialogue, just the door creaks open as I open it. And there's this old man and he just like freezes and he's standing naked from the waist down, washing his underwear and pants in the sink. You know, it's like all this.

Has gone down his leg. And he looked at me and I looked at him and I just kind of backed up and let the door shut because I didn't know what else to do. And then, you know, I walked up to the staff and the staff were like, so what, is there some guy in there that has crapped his pants? I said, seems so. Which point then, um, This guy comes around the corner, and he's leaving, but he just put the underwear on while just stained and wet, and he's carrying the rest of the clothes, and it's just like this slow old man shuffle, and he's looking at us, and we're looking at him, and there's no dialogue.

It is this black hole of sound that is so quiet as he just kind of shuffles, and he's just glancing at us, and eventually he just leaves. I mean, that's the Mid-City Mall for you. I've never felt more empathy in my life than I do in this moment. I feel so bad. I'm thinking that might be like a record holder for longest, most authentic.

Awkward pause. It was. I mean, I used to collect those. Like what's the longest, most awkward pause you've ever seen? I mean, that's a big lobby at the theater.

It takes a while to kind of make your way out. And, um, So it was, what movie was it? It was The Terminal that he'd come to see. And so, you know. So when he actually lives in the airport is what we found out.

We were really tempted when people would. Come in, you know, they're always asking you. It's like, so how's this movie? So if they'd come up, it's like, I'm thinking about seeing The Terminal. I want to see it.

It's like, you were tempted to say, it's so damn good, you'll shit your pants, ma'am. We slowly shuffled in. And, you know, it was all fun and laughs until you realized that you had to go into the theater and clean that seat. Yeah. I saw a long, awkward pause once.

There was this couple. And the guy was clearly gay. And we all couldn't stand him because he would always. Like, be, uh. I think I was there for this moment.

He was so rude to his wife. And then she would just eat it up. He would be like, I didn't think anyone would know that. And she'd go, oh, well, you're the one who knows. Oh, well, they were telling this story.

He was telling this story. This morning, she comes to the door. God, I'm almost saying names. She knocks on the door of the bathroom and she says, which socks do you want to wear? He's like, I'm naked in here.

This is his wife. Of how many years? They have a kid. So anyway, we're all like. Until they leave.

It was just like. We all heard that, right? Just checking. We all heard that story. And then they leave.

And I think somebody said. They have a grown kid. And then somebody else says... I think she was in a barrel for that. I mean, I've had a roommate for like three weeks, and I'm already to the point where I sometimes forget to close the bathroom door when I'm peeing.

Already hit that part. If you want to pause for your collection, one that comes to mind, this was years ago, we have to do the science fair at our school, and I hate it with a passion. And, you know, it's... This freshman, I was trying to find out what all their topics were, and she told me a couple weeks earlier, and I'd want to talk down about a student, but she wasn't going to be the school valedictorian. So she told me that she was going to solve the Bermuda Triangle for her science fair project.

That's a good project. And instantly I was intrigued. And so, you know, they were presenting to the class before they, you know, went on to the potential next round. And she goes up with a 10-gallon, like, aquarium and an empty 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew. And she'd filled the tank about two-thirds of the way with water.

And she sits the bottle on top of the water, and she's like, all right, y'all seen it floats, right? I'm like, uh-huh. She's like, all. Right, this Bermuda Triangle. She holds a bottle underneath the water until all the air goes out, and then it doesn't float.

She goes, and there you go. And I said, I just asked the question, so how does that solve the Bermuda Triangle? And she goes, well, you saw it sink, didn't you? Awkward pause. 45 minutes later.

And finally, because I was trying to put my brain around it, finally I said, well, I guess my confusion will be cleared up when I read your report. And she goes, oh, we were supposed to report this? And she goes, ha, I done failed this. And she just sits down and leaves the tank and the bottle up there. No, what would be good if she had some other.

Thing that she was solving like let's solve the existence of the yeti and she just had the same experiment that would have been like the next science so it. Was that day that i just thought it would be so funny to have a sketch to where you know it's like the nobel prize committee is meeting going to give out the nobel prize in medicine and you know it's like the next person comes up and it's like They have figured out this universal cure for cancer, for AIDS, for everything. And so they call this scientist out, and he comes out with the trifold. And he just sits in front of him. He's just very, you know, like this adult is nervous like a 13-year-old kid.

And the Nobel Prize committee is just like, well, how did you, what exactly do you explain this? And he just is reading off the trifold. My hypothesis was that I could cure AIDS, and I did. And it's like, and finally, you know, the whole gag would have to be like at one point in time, one of the, the Nobel prize committee members just raised their hand. It's like, uh, Dr.

Gasper, did your parents help you with this? A little bit. There was a case where a guy was called by the committee and told that he had won in chemistry and he had gone to college in chemistry. And, uh, He said, no, I think you've got the wrong person. And I said, no, it's...

And he said, well, for which of my works? And it was some chemistry thing, and he was. A carpet cleaner. He said, I'm a very good carpet cleaner. But yeah, he was called and awarded the chemistry.

Have you seen. The collection of science fair projects assembled on the internets. Yes. Yeah. There's a Photoshop Friday on somethingawful.com where they went in and Photoshopped titles and stuff, and it's pretty damn hilarious.

Oh, there are some real ones. I know, some real ones, too, that are just, yeah. So, pieces of April. So, Thanksgiving. Have we covered...

Is there anything... I really don't remember that I'd seen this before, so I don't know. This was trying to get a good feeling about it. I think I liked it more than I expected. I think I'd written it off as them just trying to mark it, because there really aren't...

There's like, what, two Thanksgiving movies? There aren't a ton of them, like there are Christmas. And when we got it at the theater back in the day, it did no business. We got it the Friday before Thanksgiving, and because it did. I mean, you need a little more of a window.

Like, that's pretty tight. Thematically, it's like perfect. It's like a Thanksgiving movie at Thanksgiving, but because it did no business opening weekend, it's like we had it that Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, and it's like, well, we need to put in all this new stuff on Wednesday, so it just went out, so it didn't even last a week on its run here. I really don't remember hearing much about it even at the time, and only since then have I known, oh, it's one of the few Thanksgiving movies. So, yeah, I think Again, it has its sillier, more cliche or caricatured moments, but I don't know.

I think I take a lot more from it than I expected going in. I think it still does have some sort of heart that it's trying to put out there, and it does it a little ham-fistedly at moments, but it still has it and does a decent job overall. I just was halfway impressed by Sisko in his few little scenes. He wasn't bad. I feel like Cisco is very underrated.

Yeah. I didn't know it was Cisco until the credits. I feel like he disappeared into the role. Well, I, I actually said like, I remember at the time they gave him like one of those like MTV summer shows. Like they went to the beach and they just like at one point, cause it had always been one of their generic people.

And one summer they just handed him a show and they were like, here, host this. So that seems like, okay, that's going to go horrible. Just hand somebody a microphone and, was really good at. And the fact that we have 48 different talk shows right now on television and he's not hosting is kind of a shame because he was really surprisingly good at being a host. Again, it's not like he was coasting on his massive number of hits.

He had one, so it's like, it would have been nice to see him mark McGrath it up and turn it into a host of something. I know that the part in the thong song is just a slowed down orchestra version of Eleanor Rigby, but it's really beautiful. And I stand by that. I would recommend, just speaking of weird slow down stuff, if you, you may already know this, but if you go onto YouTube and look at Justin Bieber's You Smile Slow Down 800 times, it's this really beautiful 30 minute long, very kind of, There's a whole. Bunch of those YouTube videos where stuff slowed down 800 or 1,000 times.

I had it on. I had friends over, and they're like, this is really good. You're like, haha, Bieber. I also have a thing about the original You Smile song. I smoked pot once and watched the video and decided there was a subplot about how he killed this girl in the video and hit her body in the basement or in the alley of the theater that Theron, I don't know, Justin Bieber.

Might be true. I'm not down with it. See, if there was going to be an awkward pause, Brian, that's where we would have inserted it. No, we have more than enough of our pauses. So, anything else to round this thing out?

Any thankful wishes you want to send on to the people's? One time I was walking downtown near Christmas and somebody came up to me out of the blue, just walked up, put a microphone in front of me and said, is there anyone you want to wish happy holidays or Merry Christmas? And my mind went blank and I was like, no, no, thanks. And then I thought they were going to air it. I walked away and I thought, oh, no.

Not a lot of holiday cheer downtown this year. That's what I would add. And now we all know the real answer is at any point when they come up and throw the microwave in your face, just say, I like turtles. It's always a safe bet. All right.

Well, I will go along with you, Lucy. I did like the music, most of which is done by that one guy. What did we decide his name is? Stephen Merritt. And he's responsible for two of the different bands that make up most of that soundtrack.

And many bands beyond that. Check out the Magnetic Fields, and the Sixth, and the Future Bible Heroes. That was two of the... That was the bulk of the soundtrack. Does anybody remember the old Three Dog Nights song?

That's the title of the movie? No. No? Okay, we've established that. Oh, so there is a reason for the title of the movie.

Yeah, it's an old song. That makes a lot more sense. And does it tie in in any way that. I don't think. I don't know.

I don't remember it. I was trying to bring it to mind because I remember hearing them sometimes when I was a kid, but it did not come back. It doesn't refresh. Well, what I think worked, and again, they end the movie very blatantly with this, but that one April Day song, again, they obviously picked it for that reason, but at the same time, I think it also has that line that kind of works really well in it, which is like, I've always loved you in my way. So it's like, it really is kind of like not this sappy Hallmark moment of like, oh, we love each other.

It's like, look, I fucked up. I'm fucked up. Like, everybody's messed up. We're trying to love each other as best we can. And I'm like, that's a family gathering right there.

We try not to kill each other. I've loved you in the best way that I can over the years. Let's not kill each other. I think that's a holiday sentiment for all of us, really. And it's a really good song.

Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next time. Thanks for listening and happy Thanksgiving. So so One April day, we'll go miles away. One April day, we'll go miles away.

And I'll turn to you and I'll say I've always loved you in my way I'll always love you in. My way Is there a cop still out there? What? Is there a cop still out there? Yeah.

Go give him a muffin. Actually.... Do you have some electronics he can carry out on the porch, Fred? That TV's not bolted down, right? The director is.

I would like to change my vote, though. No. This is probably kind of like a really offensive view, but I imagine all Transylvanian's house is smelling like rotten meat. I don't know why. But not garlic.

I think, yeah. Well, actually, yes. Like, garlic and, like, ranch. No, they can't have garlic. They're all the Empire.

I'm just wondering how long it'll let me get away with this. Torture. Torture. Puppy torture. Is this puppy allowed playful puppy nips?

Or is that... We're trying to get her. Not to do that. Okay, that's why I checked. Don't encourage it.

Her. Her. That sweater's not helping any. Joe. Her.

But it's J-O. So that's why I always double check. So that way I. Don't encourage bad habits. At which point the police officer comes in.

He just sees us all scratching each other's ankles. I knew something was going on here. I had weird feelings about it. Kind of like the Dudley weird feelings. So you had to fix your bike?

Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I mean, sometimes when you're asleep, you'll wake up and be like, pizza? Oh, damn it. Again.

Well, that's why we got the puppy, though. We don't have to use place. It'll clean up after us. I would be a great television producer, by the way. I think I just realized my missus called.

This is not unlike another famous Thanksgiving episode. Do you remember the story of John Alden and Priscilla Mullins and Captain Miles Standish? This isn't like that one at all. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com.