The Devil's Hand Holds a Custom-made Doll (Promo)

So this episode is a very special Horror Club episode for exclusive Horror Club members only. And you could be that. If you're not, you're doing this wrong. So one of the big benefits is that you get to pick one of the movies we're going to talk about in the upcoming future world. And if not, we're left with choosing our own.

Now, if you've been following along, not that long ago, we had the bottom feeder discussion, which I feel like everybody needs to have that at some point. Sit your kids down, bottom feeder discussion. But that aside, I've been trying to, again, occasionally, I venture out into the world, so I'm trying to see what our horrible fallback plan is. So I sent you guys a photo of the last... Arguably horror movie.

That's the thing. I keep finding weird ones, but they're not really even horror. That one was... Let me see. Eye of the Beast starring James Van Der Beek.

And as I looked it up earlier, it's a TV movie. So it's gonna be great. There's something with tentacles on the front cover. I don't know. Might just be an octopus.

Might be some sort of kraken. Hell if I know. But. I hope it's. Just a big octopus.

Probably is, actually, because they can't afford a real monster, so they'll just use stock footage. Yeah. Planet Earth. Pull Ed Wood and throw some random wrestle around with a plastic octopus. That could be what we're watching.

We hope not. I haven't really. I didn't buy it. You're lucky. I didn't buy it yet, so that's a fallback plan.

Hopefully, you will join the club and give us a movie to put on the list so we can watch something. Much better than whatever Van Der Beek has put together for us this week. So, just saying. Join the club. Go to MovieMountain.com.

Click on the Horror Club link and you can give us a movie that's probably better than Eye of the Beast. I don't know. You're all about some Van Der Beek. Because I'm looking at a picture from the movie of one of said tentacles. It doesn't even look CGI.

That's how... Practical effects. Yeah, that's how impressive this movie has to be. Okay. But until then, you can listen to...

Uh-oh. I mean... It. Looks like a spirit Halloween decoration. That's fun.

That would cost several hundred dollars to put in your yard. This looks like something spirit Halloween would reject. But you don't need to reject any of that. You can join the club and be embraced by the wonders that is the Horror Club. So, in the meantime, you can listen to these snippets of awesomeness from this week's episode to try to tide you over.

The subtitle of this movie, to keep on theme with the earlier ones we talked about, could just be Horny Men Make the Worst Decisions. It's literally like. Honey, I can't argue with it. You see the torso up of a beautiful woman in the sky. That's all you need.

That's all you need. Your point? And you're like, I'm going to throw out my relationship. And it's just like, the more it went on, the more annoyed I got. Because this is something I've noticed in your independent B-film, independent or B-film movies from this time.

You'll have just this really kicking opening song. Mm-hmm. And then everything's downhill from there. Yeah, kind. So, do you ever, like, get dressed in what might be considered lingerie and invite a strange man to have dinner with you?

Answer the door in it with maybe a robe, kind of? I don't know. I never figured out what it was. It all looked very nice. But I'm like, is this what you wear out in the world?

Is this what you sleep in? It could be both. I don't know. She was like rocking the lounge wear and street wear before the pandemic. Definitely.

I'm like, now I wear sweatpants all the time. But that's a little different than a floor length silk gown and sheer robe. Or whatever it was. I want to now. Yeah.

I want to get myself some matching sets. And then just invite a random dude over. Yeah. And have your houseboy make you a dinner. My boyfriend.

Like, beers. Is he okay with this plan? Because I feel like he shouldn't be. Well, how does that guy have time to sculpt lifelike dolls and run a satanic cult in his basement? But I'm like, just once we get to the store, I started thinking, I'm like, what kind of a weirdo? has a doll that looks like somebody they know.

Like, wouldn't you be creeped out if you knew somebody? Oh, wait, no, look. I felt like his motivations kept going back and forth. Like, he seemed like he was super into Bianca now, and so now I'm in the satanic cult, but then he comes back and, like, pulls the pin out of his girlfriend's doll, but then he still is, like. He's looking up there going, are they gonna sacrifice a human?

And again, that's about as upset as he seemed about it. Yeah. So, like, humans or what? Can we eat them afterwards? Nothing seems to faze this guy.

Sure. There is a lady. In a skirt. A very typical early 60s, late 50s skirt. Mini-ish.

Short, yeah. She is bent at the waist. With her arms. Crossed across her chest like, oh my. Some elbow action going on.

Yeah, some elbow action. Her derriere is promptly in the air. And she has a surprised look on her face. But what's interesting is several inches above her back, not her head, her back, is a small little man in a suit. Like, they're not messing around.

Like, it is full on horrific at many points. Okay. Which is probably one of my favorite and also at the same time least over-the-top William Castle movies. Wait, why is there always a sex tape involved in his movies? I'm just piecing this.

Together, too. Oh, now I'm trying to think. I don't think that there is a sex tape in this one, but it's very good. You're just looking for an extra director hole connection there. I did laugh out loud when his name popped up.

No offense, William. Because you're 11 years old. It's okay. I'm sure he's long dead by now. And this was the time where they're handing out Quaaludes like little Tic Tacs.

Just go get a prescription. Who cares? Knock yourself out. He also slept in a twin bed. Because he's cool.

As a grown man. gave me concerns, but that's fine. He was a bachelor in 1959, which was when this movie was actually made. And that's when... That released for two years. That's how I can get the cool sheets, too.

I mean, that guy, probably. That used to be the case. It's becoming easier and easier to find Star Wars sheets. That's true. I know, because we have two sets.

Why would you. Bother to do astral projection to someone you're standing next to? 10 inches not feet. Yeah i mean you're right behind him you're he's like look ahead there you are or turn around she's right. There he's such a jackass he's like it's like you're right here in the room.

I don't know i was just trying to decide were they thinking that far ahead and actually planning it or were they just sort of ripping these pages off as they go yeah you're like here say these scenes now say these words And then the next scene, it's like, say these words. I'm like, but these don't match with the last scene. Shut up and say more words. These aren't even typed, for Christ's sake. I scribbled them down.

You can read most of them. Now go. You're not a cocktail napkin. There's a stick figure. And tiny dolls.

That's what this is all about. Dolls. Now shut up and read my stick figure. Maybe there's some progressiveness with the acting. I'm just like, why do you have a goddess of love and you're in this worshiping this demon thing, but then Buddha's over there and then you've got swords and shit.

I don't know. Like nothing matches up in this. It just seems like they came up with some. And dolls. Yeah.

Again, it's like they change their mind every 15 minutes or so. They're just like, this is a movie about creepy dolls. And then they're like, no, wait, witchcraft. No, wait! No!

Like, every few minutes they kept going. I got a better idea. Hold on. It's a wagon wheel chandelier with swords. What else do you need?

Get it? We're done. And it's controlled by sewing machine pedals. Let's do lunch. We're done now.

Well, I almost feel like somebody was like, okay, you guys go to lunch, come back with some notes on what you want this to do, and then they came back and they're like, He's like, none of these, I thought you guys had lunch together. And they're like, oh, you wanted to have some lunch together? We just went off and. We were supposed to talk about that? No, no, no.

And I believe it was described at the time. as an inane virtually plotless mixture of haunted houses hot rodders. And rock and roll oh hell yeah that's what. I said i was like yeah you sound like you're trying to make it sound bad but you're doing it wrong because that sounded awesome. Why would this high-powerful witch priestess be interested in me, an unemployed electronics man? I think the internet's falling apart.

Are you haunted? Maybe. Electronics! Electronics! The wave of the future!

If only we had a douche with a doll fetish to fix your electronic devices. That can be arranged. A scientist develops a serum that can eradicate scar tissue. He tries it on a girl with a horribly disfigured face. It succeeds, but then he discovers the girl is an escaped mental patient from a local asylum.

Yes. Wow. So go ahead and pencil that in. I'm into that, yes. My thought was you guys put that much detail into that scene.

If you could have put half as much effort into the rest of the movie, maybe you would have had some. Well, that reminds me of I Drink Your Blood, where they were just this big, fun, multicultural gang of devil worshippers. Everybody gets together to worship Satan. It's like, well, good for you for having a diverse cast. It's cool that you're hippies and all, but you're also murdering people.

You're doing hippie wrong. But oh well. You know, maybe that was the warning in I Drink Your Blood that race mixing leads to evil murder. Could be. If you guys don't know what we're talking about, go back and listen to the I Drink Your Blood episode.

It's a fun one. And then tell your friends to join up so they can hear it too. Because it's awesome. We got a lot out of that episode. That was a good movie.

Can we just talk about that movie from now on? Let's just switch over. Because I feel like it would really go with the theme of this movie. If you don't join, you're going to get attacked by a plastic tentacle. Tentacle.

I said tentacle. Come get wrapped in our loving tentacles of the Horror Club. Oh, man. We need to put that on a shirt. Yeah.

Join the club. Maybe we'll make a shirt of that. I'd wear it. Go to movieoutdown.com. Click on the Horror Club link and be part of the tentacle fun.

Or not, if you pick a better movie. to hold you near my heart. Say that we'll never drift apart. Eight arms to hold you near my heart. Say that we'll never drift apart. Eight arms to hold you near my heart.