Episode 11 - Memories of Cab 804 pt. 1 & 2

We're being way media think mister Walders is that guy with it? He's an actor A faults rise by the main I'm a cant driver on the only can't driver in his place. Hello again, everybody, and welcome to night mister Walters the Taxi Podcast. I am your co host HP and with me as always is my co host, Father alone, fatherom alone? How are you this evening?

But zoon goes a feat. I can't wait to get to it. Thank you very much. A reminder, we are doing these shows in broadcast order and not order of filming, so we are going to cover this is an interesting episode for us. Father Alone.

We're gonna be covering a two part episode. I'm just gonna call them collectively Memories of Cab eight o four. Originally it was eight o four Part one in part two. This was written by Barry Kemp and of course directed by James Burrows. Now this is, as I said, a two part episode which is shot as a pickup episode.

Are you familiar with the concept of pickup episodes, Father Malone, No, I have no idea. Tell me. A pickup episode is comprised of bits and pieces that are shot at odd times, sometimes after the episode has been shot live with an audience and the audience members have gone home, or there's technical reasons why they had to reshoot it. But basically these are shot at odd times, bits and pieces over time, and then they're assembled, typically for economical end of season shows. And according to Frank Loves in the Official Taxi Fan Guide, some of the very first taxi scenes ever filmed were shot for this two parter.

I'll give you an example. The scene with Tony was shot on the Queensboro Bridge, which was shot at the same time the opening sequence was shot, which is famously features Tony driving the cab. Hey, what do you know about that? That's great? So effectively, in the middle of their first season, what the creators of the show have done is made a clip show.

It's kind of genius, it is, and it's it goes beyond what we would think of. When I think of a clip show, followed Malone, I think of somebody who says, you remember that time we were in the house and something happened, and then they do a flashback to a previous episode that we've already seen. Right, That's exactly what happens here, except it's all new material. It's all new materials. I don't know that this is a practice that still goes on today.

I was kind of tickled by that, the realization that this is a clip show, but the clips are all new. Do you remember when most shows would present a clip show and they would have like a special guest come by, like Lucille Ball on the set of Three's Company, telling us about the characters, like let's meet Chrissy, and then we get a whole series of clips of Suzanne Summers. I hated those versions of clip shows, Like this is a much more subtle version of the clip show, and like we said, it's all original material here, so that's at least good. By the way, the first clip show ever was Robinson Crusoe of Clipper Island. It was a serial in the nineteen thirties.

While they were filming, there was inclement weather that impacted their location filming. So to make up because they had to put these out week after week, they made a couple of remembrance segments with the characters sitting around saying, remember when we fought that guy at blah blah blah, and then they showed scenes from previous episodes. That's the first ever clip show Wow, very cool, cool fact And like cereals, we get a title card at the beginning of this episode, we get memories of Cab eight oz four. By the way, this isn't the last one of these episodes we'll see. I will say, just spoiler alert, this is probably my least favorite of these pickup episodes, these two parters that typically happen at the end of the season.

But that doesn't mean it doesn't have its charms, and we'll talk about that. We kick things off and the opening b roll of this episode is actually a shot of Cab number eight oh four driving through the night. It's not apropos of any action on the screen. We just see a nice shot of a cab driving through night, Cab ETO four. I loved it both of these episodes, parts one and two.

They're a b roll extravag ends and I love it. I love all of the shots of New York at the time period, and I love that the crew weren't just giving us the standard we're following the cab. We got a lot of pushing shots the following behind a cab that are great and effective and I don't know, and lots of characters getting in and out of the cab, like a lot of location work there. Anyway, Sorry, I love b Roll. I could not agree with you more because it's like a little cameo of what New York was.

We've talked about this in previous episodes the podcast, and it's great, but we see a lot of that here because I think through necessity they need to pad the episode times a little bit to show a lot of b roll. We open up actually in the garage again, Alex, Bobby, and Tony are going over the racing forms. They're going to go to the track, right. Maybe the biggest surprise of the whole episode is they're waiting for Burns to come back. They won't go without Burns.

They think he's going to talk to the horses because he's a hic. Maybe that's part of his forestry training. Is he can you know, the horse whisper or something. Or maybe it's just another example of his descent into moral depravity. We've seen him and his wife struggling with finances.

Now we have evidence that he's blowing his money at the track. It points to a darkness we'll come to in a little bit. Oh yeah, So Bobby nervously asks Louie where Burns is. He should have been back a long time ago. Just around that time, Louie gets a call and it sends him into an instant rage.

He is he goes from zero to one hundred like that, and Louie angrily informs you the Caves that Burns had a wreck. He's wrecked. A cab Riager starts to defend Burns until Louie tells him that it was cave eto four. That's just the mention of cave eto four sets all of the Caves off. Even Rieger, who has been John's staunchest defender, is suddenly very dubious about letting Burns off the hook.

I think Elaine appeals to Rieger, and Rieger says, in every cold manner, he says, he shouldn't have wrecked ATO four. Did you have the same vibe all of It's almost like a post hypnotic suggestion that sets all the Caves off once they hear eight O four. Well, we've all worked at a place where a piece of equipment or some element of the job is preferred over others. They have some sort of attachment to it, and everyone here at the Sunshine Cab Company has had a personal experience in Caveato four that has touched them in some way. I imagine when they're giving out the cab assignments each evening, they're all kind of secretly hoping Parato four.

And now those dreams have been dashed. Why Burns. But before we get to that, I do want to mention the most important part of the scene, which is that Nardo shows up in the rest of her separates her corduroy separates. Last episode we got we got a vest and slacks. Today we get the blazer and the skirt and a red red blouse underneath.

That's, oh my gosh, she's she's so spectacular. Another nod to the costume designer. She looks fabulous. I mean, this is like a metaphor for the ages. Right, Burns, the most hated despises Cavey has finally damaged something near and dear to all the rest of the Cavey's hearts.

There's no going back from this, HB. Let's just get into it. I've been charting the decline of John Burns since he joins Unshine Cab and what started out innocently enough just the tale of a young man being seduced by the various terrible traits of his cabby brethren, has now turned into something else. I think this episode marks the opening salvo and the Burns astopheles his plan to ruin Sunshine Cab Company. Right, he's finally gone all the way over right, whatever dark urban power that undulates in New York City has finally taken hold of him, and he's out to destroy.

I haven't forgotten Kitty Geneviez. Clearly neither has John Burns. And it begins here. Nothing is forgiven now that everybody knows it's ATO four. They were all willing to make excuses for John, but this is a bridge too far.

Tony makes the comment that another month and eight to four would have set a company record for half a million miles, which, if you look at these cabs in the condition they're in, that's something special. Maybe it needed to be retired. Maybe, But doesn't someone say, like, well, I love the ATO four. You know you'd put it in your drive. It went into low Yeah, Alex Rieger Wax, think about eight O four.

I think that's that goes against your point. I think ATO four was one of the few cabs that was in good condition for its age, for sure. I'm just saying, if they loved it all so much, maybe they could have treated it a little more tenderly and not given it to John Burns. Maybe it's that special. If it's that magical, you don't let the goblins near the unicorn.

They're gonna kill it. Now, none of the cabbies want to go to the track. They're all want to stay. This has become like a show where somebody has a horrible accident and oh my god, Tuscadero got banged up by the by the Malacchi brothers, Like, what's gonna happen? Can we get?

Can we get? Was it leather was a pinky? It was a pinky Tuscadero got in the accident because leather. Tuscdero needed to serenade us because it was Susie coatro Oh my god, I've fallen down the seventies rabbit hole. Get me out of hb We digress.

So they all want to stay. The cabbies want to stay in the garage and find out how bad the damage is. This scents them off into a reflective mood, and Alex kicks off the storytelling by noting the irony that he originally picked up Burns in eight o four, continuing this metaphor of this destructive force being known to the caves right from jump. Interestingly enough, this was shot for that first episode but was not used. So we have this little mini scene where Burns gets into the car.

He's a yokel from wherever, and he in a bid to make conversation with Alex. He starts messing with the safety shield and pokes it, and the safety shield falls on top of Alex as he's driving and makes him almost go off the road, which at that point Alex, echoing the audience sentiment, Alex muses, I should have known then, because y'all should have known. He should have known. Now here's the episode kind of turns into the anthology film Tales from the Crypt, the Amicust production Tales from the Crypt, because each of the characters in turn starts to tell us their dream. No, and it's not to dream here, but it's what they actually when actually transpired in the cab.

But well, but take note, in keeping with the theme of the darkness at the heart of John Burns, all of their stories are a little bit off, a little bit dark. There's something going on at Sunshine Cab. Is it ironically named? Perhaps? I think so.

And I also want to say that these are all highly unreliable narrators, so as we describe what happens to them or what they say happens to them, bear that in mind, particularly Nardo's story. But we'll get to that in a minute, particularly when Wheeler opens his mouth about anything. Right. Speaking of Wheeler, it's Bobby's turn to rhapsodize about eight o four. In his telling, he was driving it to four when there was a rash of robberies.

There was somebody mugging cab drive. Bobby started carrying a piece with him like a thirty eighth special. No, it wasn't a thirty eighth special. Three fifty seven is what it is. Wheel is driving eight to four and a guy comes and tries to mug him.

I was struggling to try and remember I've seen this guy before. The robber is played by a fellow named Skoeie Mitchell. Did you know Scollie Mitchell. I do know Scoe Mitchell. I know he started in a nineteen seventy version of Barefoot in the Park, an all black cast version of Barefoot in the Park that only lasted a few episodes until he quit.

I know him from there. I also know him as Richard Pryor's dad in Jojo Dancer Your Life is called. That's where my familiarity with him. No, and that's and that his mother, his brother, Billy Mitchell is a is a pretty good jazz pianist. That's that's my sum total knowledge of Scoe Mitchell.

Also, the names Scoei also just sends me into a tailspin into The Simpsons, because they had a parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger with a character named to McBain who was always fighting Mendoza's partner who's kind of based on Danny Glover's character from Lethal Weapon, but bears an uncanny resemblance to Scoe Mitchell is named Scoee. So every time I see the name skoy, all I can hear is the Harry Shearer voiced Nick Bay and saying Scoe see. And I thought when you talked about Billy Mitchell, I thought you were going to say he had a brother who was pretty good at pac Man, referencing, of course, Billy Mitchell, who had the perfect pac Man game. You will never hear me refer to that man. No, he's a loathsome I've seen him in It was like a variation of the Newlywed game where you would appear with your wife and you would be like backstage with headphones on and they would ask your wife questions.

I've seen this show. I think Stilla and Mirror were on it once. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, No, totally the name. I couldn't dig it up for the life of me. But let's just say he did the rounds of seventies game shows.

He was on passwordenties and eighties game shows and a ton of seventies to tech them shows and comedies and guest stars and a lot of things. And he's delightful. He's really good here. I love a reasonable thief and he's the ultimate reasonable thief in this episode. He is so good in this he is really funny.

He tries to reason with Bobby because Bobby pulls his gun. This guy has his gun pulled and he basically just tries to appeal to Wheeler and say, look, son, you don't have to do this. You're misunderstanding, Like this is the point at which you give me the money and I take the money and I go no tricks Bobby refuses to back down. So now they're at a stalemate and they sit in the cab, and they sit in the cab, neither person is going to put their gun down. They end up fogging up the windshield.

And when Bobby goes to wipe away the windshield to see how much time has passed, like, they realize that they've gotten a ticket because they've been sitting in this cab for so long, which you know, delights the robber. He thinks it's the funniest thing. The writing is great, the performances are great. I love this whole segment. I love these two guys.

So more and more time is passing and they're getting more and more tired as they hold these guns up and Wheeler he has this idea that they're going to take a break and switch hands, switch the guns to the opposite hand. Have you ever held a three fifty seven magnum How many hours had they been holding it? That the police game and put a ticket in. He's got a good idea. That's not what I think is a bad idea.

What I think is a bad idea is giving you, the robber, any chance to try any funny stuff because what's he going to depend on this guy's, you know, his word that he's not going to try anything funny. Because guess what they do the count of three, one, two, three, and the robber kind of like pushes himself into Wheeler and they fumble the guns off all of the floor they pick up. Now they've got each other's gun. I'm going to disagree with you about your characterization of the tussle. I think they were both switching hands at the same time and their guns collided because they did it too close to each other.

I don't think there was any miss shift going on between either of these combatants. I will respectfully disagree. I'd say go back and watch the tape. But nevertheless, they fumbled somehow with the guns. They each come up with each other's gun.

Now Wheeler has the robber's gun, the robber has Wheelers destroyer and his hand cannon in his hand. When Bobby protests, the robber in conforms him that his gun wasn't loaded anyway, So now Wheeler is totally screwed. He says to Wheeler, look enough games, son, just give me the money. But in the last ditch effort, Wheeler shoves the barrel of his gun into the robber's gun until they effectively become one gun with two barrels. They get they get stuck.

The robbers just kind of like, hey, man, you're no fun to stick up. Yeah, yeah, And he just hands the now one piece giant art sculpture that his two pistols stuck together into Wheeler's hands and then tries to leave. And this is my favorite part. Wheeler says like, oh no, no, man, I'll hit you. That phrase, the his intonation, the way he said I'll hit you that.

I've been hearing that for forty some ideas. I realized while rewatching this episode this might be the episode of Taxi I have seen the most. So anyway, when the robber finally gives up, Wheeler isn't going to let him off the hook. Now. The robber owes him forty eight bucks because the meter has been running this whole time, plus the cost of the ticket exactly.

So the robber gives up the money, and he dejectedly says to him, Hey, I don't have enough money for cab fair can you get me a left home? And Wheeler, in a moment of compassion, says, all right, where do you live, and the guy tells him his address and he says, you're gonna take me there, and Wheeler says, no, I'm just gonna tell the cops where you live, and then just drives off and that's the end of Wheeler's tail. I didn't like that. I didn't like that part of it. Why why didn't you like?

I thought that was pretty funny. You know, you know Wheeler won that contest. He he robbed a robber. You know, he didn't need a tournament. Bobby Wheeler has betrayed the code of the streets, HB.

And we now have to turn our backs on him. I didn't have a problem with it. So when now we're back in the garage and now it's Tony's turn to tell his tale of cave Eto four, and he says that he saved the guy's life Oncenato four, and we cut to another wonderful, wonderful b roll showing Tony picking up a guy Nato four under an overpass kind of thing. Yeah, it's all great, it's all good location stuff. And if you tell me that this was made for the first episode, then I say, right on, it is the other.

The other great thing about this particular vignette is it's one of the few where you see the cabbies in broad daylight. That's true. Yeah, we had we had a conversation about that if we ever see them, and I guess here's the answer. We do, and it's Tony Banta here it is. So he picks up a guy with a drifting two pay.

Did you know who this gentleman was getting in the cab? Ed dot Weinberger, co creator Ed dot Weinberger. I've been watching this episode for many years. I never knew that he was the uncredited suicidal passenger. The guy tells Tony to stop on the bridge so he can kill himself.

Just as he hoists one leg over the bridge to do it, Tony yells, hey, don't do that, to which the guy responds okay and gets back in the cab. And that's the sum total of Tony's vignette of eight oh four. It's it's a good bit. It's a ruined a little bit for me. From the crew van that's parked directly behind the taxi and the like.

They add in a haunt a horn honk as if it's traffic, but there's no one driving. There's no one at the wheel of the van behind it, so that that was not so great. Listen, it's it's kind of a fun story, right, band to saving this man from jumping. But what what drove that man to jump in the first place? John Burns, we'll see you see him weaving his web.

Here. We go back to the garage, and now Bobby and Tony are arguing over whose story was better. I mean, I think we can agree that Bobby's story was a lot better because yeah, it prominently featured Scoe Mitchell. Louie comes out of his cage to inform them, and he has an even better story than all these cabbies. He's right right, this is my favorite of all these eight oh four tales.

We actually learned a lot about Louie. Of course, of this we cut to Louie. He's driving a cab. He's just randomly yelling at other cars and pedestrians, as he would expect Louie to be doing. He's hailed by a father who wants Louie to drive his young son to a private school.

What's the kid twelve? The father gives the kid six hundred dollars with express instructions that it's for food, books, and necessities, and he says, and I quote, it's not for gambling, pornography, or to purchase weapons. He asks Louie if he's a father, to which Louie replies, I don't think so. It's a better way of saying not that I know of. It's actually a funny way of saying that.

And the father says back to him, don't be so. The guy says goodbye to his son and says that he's going to tell his mother he's sorry he made her cry, which is kind of the final bit that you already hate this kid because you can just tell he's just a no good nick The kid is played by Chris Barnes. Barnes Baby Tanner from The Bad News Bears. Everyone loved Kelly Leak, right, We all looked up to Kelly Leake. No, not me.

I was always a huge Tanner fan. And he's a tiny, tiny force of nature. He's so great in those first two I think he's only in the first two Bad News Bears movies. When I went to look up his IMDb. He stopped acting sometime around nineteen eighty five.

The last we've heard is he's working as a florist in Utah. Listeners of Night Mister Walters, if you have any leads, please feel free to contact us. You can find that information on the website on the weirding Way Media. If you happen to beat Chris Barnes and you're listening to this episode, feel free to reach out to us too. We'd love to hear from you.

I'd love to catch up with Tanner from the Bad News Bearers. That would be fantastic. So after sarcastic exchange Louie has with the dispatcher, Louie tells the kid prophetically, remember this, all dispatchers are scum. The kid convinces Louie to let him drive for thirty bucks. When Louie asks if he's sure, this surly kid replies, you don't steal cars without knowing how to drive them.

I love him, did I mention? I've seen this episode more than any other episode. I've seen this from a very young age more than any other episode. I loved this kid by now. Now we already know how lowthsome Louie is, but here he's being matched by this little pint sized terror getting driven to a private school.

We're kind of rooting for Louie in a weird way, but at the same time we want it. We're happy that Louie's getting put in his place. When the kid goes in the front seat to start driving, he like picks up this like he's I don't need this, and there's a cushion that Louie has sit on to raise them up. Hello, yeah, I don't need this, pillow. I wrote the line down.

I loved it. Yeah, which is you know, Louie d Palma, no doubt, is tired, more than tired about being compared to a child because of his height, and here's a child who's his match in every single way. By the way, kudos again to whoever is running the poor Man's process, because I don't know if you notice this, father Malone. But there are times as they're in their conversation, Louie will say red light and it's actually a red light reflected on the cab. And then he'll say green light and the green light is it's nominal?

Right? Oh yeah, yeah, we've said it before, We've said it since the very first episode. What's going on here? Any any of their process shouts where we got that the cab me's driving at night. It always feels like they're driving and it's not that it's them just sitting on a stage, and it's it's because of the hard work of the technicians behind the taxi.

Over on Melrose Avenue at the Paramount Lot, Louise starting to make conversation with this kid as the kid's driving, and he asks the kid about being rich and what his mother looks like. And the kid whips out his wallet and says, oh, here's a picture of my mother. So Louis looks at and he says, oh ooh nice bazongas And the kid says, are what are bazongas? And Louise asks them how old he is and the kid says twelve, and wo what's what's Louise reply, Bazonga's a feat. Okay, it's a It's a good joke.

But at the same time, this kid smokes a pack of unfiltered cigarettes a day and knows all these bar bets that can completely stupefy younger Louis the palmer here, so like, I appreciate the humor, but at the same time that kid would have not said what are bazanga is? It is a bit of a stretch, especially considering that the father already warned him against buying pornography, pornography weapons like this kid's all said. Now, the conversation between the two of them starts to escalate into barbets that the kid is smarmily keeps winning right there, and they're like textbook barbets. He says he knows he could predict the score before the game between the Celtics and the New York Knicks. He wins the bet by saying zero zero.

He says to him, he bets that he can say all fifty states in less than a minute. That says stupid, like Louis should have known better. Louis should have known this one was ridiculous because he says, all right, you're gonna say all fifty states and less than a minute, you're on. And then all the kid does is say all fifty states hat and takes the money off the dashboard. They finally arrive at the at school.

Now to Palma is not happy about this whole situation. I think the kid even says like, oh, I wish this ride could last longer. He soaked him for two hundred dollars. Yeah, no, it's a lot of money and then they pull in and the kid offers one final bet to win back his money. He says, is right, He says, this is you know, this is a man's bet about who can hold their breath the longest.

Louie agrees, and he's gonna bet the whole eight hundred dollars that's the six hundred the kid brought with him anyway, and then another two hundred that he just won off Louie. They make the bet and they start and it starts to look like Louie is in some distress, like he's about to pass out or kill over. He has this strange cross side look to himself, and he actually does kind of killed over entirely. Yeah, like he's he's no longer conscious. The kid says, oh, are you okay, to which Louie proclaims, you breathe, you breathe.

There there's a huge audience reaction. Everybody is now delighted that Louie has finally put one over on this twelve year old kid who has been such a prick to him the whole time that he's been driving. Now the kid starts crying about how the money was supposed to last him all year and now he's got nothing. Louie looks at the kid and maybe sees something of himself and this boy, who would get out of here. I'm leading up to something here.

He comforts the boy, He admonishes him. He says, you learned your lesson right, and the kid says, well, you bet I did. Louis says, all right then, and he pulls out the wad, and just when you think he's gonna peel off the six hundred dollars, he gives the kid a twenty and says, here you go. He has the most sanctimonious look on his face. It looks like Louie thinks to himself, I've done a good deed for the day.

Yeah. No, in his mind, he really did do a good dude. They're giving any of that money back. He could have kept it all. He should have kept it all in his mind.

Or here's some of my thoughts on this scene. This episode taught me that the New York Knicks are the New York Knickerbockers. I had no idea prior to this, because Louis says that in dialogue. So I appreciate the episode just for that. When I was a kid, I was horrified at the thought that this kid had lost all of his money.

To me, being young and seeing this, there was nothing I could imagine worse than being entrusted with a bunch of cash and somehow ending up there and it not being there rewatching it. Now as an adult, all I can think is this rich little bastard is just going to call home and say that Cabby stole my six hundred dollars and they're going to send him another six hundred dollars. Yeah, and I think we can we can speak from some experience, with our experience at private school spot alone. The problem is, HB, I gotta say this that this is this is a sort of expectation denial situation the Taxi set up in my head because you and I did go to prep school. We went to a prep prep high school together, and I was expecting to meet a Tanner character like this character from from Taxi, who was like on the make and at least like making something happen.

He was a scammer and a con artist. Like like that guy. He could be the prick and I would I would I would admire him being a prick and still be his friend. But what we were dealt with were just pricks. Yeah, that's fair to say.

I think the less said about that the better. But yes, we didn't meet anyone who like had this some grand scheme, you know, like like in Toy Soldiers, the kid who's making the liquor in the mouthwash bottles, you know, or Clint Howard in Rock and Roll High School. There was no sort of school scammer guy. So that's Louie's story. We're now back to the garage again and Elane as you you know Elane.

You can't keep Elane down. She's she's miss optimism. She says, well, maybe, you know, look on the bright side, maybe it's just a fender bender. And right then we see the object of our ire Burns. He walks in.

He keeps proclaiming that everything's all right, he's fine, nothing to see here, He's fine. And then right behind him the tow truck comes in with the total demolished hulk that was eight oh four. Like she met Christine out on the roads, right, it does look like something out of Christine. It's it's completely mangled. And Alex goes over to try to open up the passenger side rear door and it falls off in his hand.

One of my favorite moments when Danny DeVito's reactions as like, what are you doing? Why are you touching it? That is the end of episode one of the two parter. We see Burns walk in and all the horror that he's reeked by the senseless totaling of atoh four god knows what. Plus oh no, there's sense to it.

It's just kept from us, kept in a dark heart of John Burns. There's a quick narrated recap of the previous episode in part two. Were be able to find out who did the narrative, it sounds like one of the writers or one of the creators of the show, like somebody involved with the show, like we need something here, but I do not know why they didn't turn to one of their fabulous cast after this quick you know meanwhile kind of thing. We're back with the record of ATO four. Alex announces that ATO four is about to go quote under the wrench, which sends Burns.

He starts wailing that he wishes it was him going under the wrench, and the audience collectively nods their head in agreement, Yes, we all wish it was you and not ATO four. Burns, and every character in that garage is also thinking it. Oh yeah, but here's the thing, HP, that's exactly what Burns wants. I've already heard your dark tales. Tell me the good ones.

Tell me the ones that will make you actually miss this hunk of slag that I've returned to you, as so many of your memories and dreams will be. Speaking of which it's a lane. Ever, the compassionate caregiver is the one who tries consoling Burns, but even she is greeted by glum, accusatory looks from the rest of the cavies. Maybe they're all onto Burns's evil scheme. Who can say.

Now Lacca walks in and it's like a scene out of a medical drama. He's like the surgeon who's come in to try and save the dying patient. All the cavees rush over to Lacca, and like I said, he's greeted like a surgeon getting ready to go into the r I think even Burns is putting his gloves on as you would put on latex gloves onto a surgeon. Louis says, we really should get a specialist on this, and Lacca kind of dismissively waves his hand and said, there's no need for a specialist. He can fix it.

He's so confident. Lacca strides over to eight oh four. He performs a kind of a cursory examination with a lot of h M and kind of prodding and poking as a as a doctor with probe and prod a patient, before he finally announces I quit, and he just starts walking off the stage. Everybody's freaking out. They all convince him to go back and give it a go.

He decides Groutually he will try to save Ito for but even he doesn't see much that he can do for it. And now whose turn is it to tell their Into four tale? Elane? My goodness, thank goodness, we got to spend some time with Elane Narder for a little while after all this folder with the bird the rest of these people, Thank god, did you just use the word falder all? That's right.

Elaine wants to tell her story, and initially curiously that none of the cabbies rise to the bait. They all just seem very disinterested until you know scumbags they are, until she says that it's her story is about a guy that she picked up one night and all of a sudden, now they're all rapidly interested. Suddenly the saxophones begin playing in their heads and we got yeah, isn't of Nardo and flagrante delecto. Alex brings up the fact that Nardo in the past has stipulated she has a no passenger's rule for dating, but she says this one was special. Oh baby, she's in the cab, she's driving around.

She picks up a fair and who does she pick up in the cab. It's mister reverse mortgage himself. It's Tom Selleck. Of course, it's Multiverse Indiana Jones, Tom Selleck. It's a young Tom Selleck.

He needs a ride to the country. He's going to an art auction. It's one hundred and forty miles away, which initially Elaine kind of box at, but one look at this hunk in the backseat. Her reservations melt away, and she does basically a complete reversal and says, yeah, come on, And she calls and she says she'll be a little late. How late he asks, She kind of arches her eyebrow and says, don't wait up.

I had mentioned this before. These are unreliable narrators. I don't for a second by the perfection of how she describes this whole scenario. What are the odds that it's God's gift to women? Walks into the cab.

He's an art collector and art dealer, and he's going to an art auction. These are all things that are like bing bingbing all setting off like Nardo is a liar? Is that I am? You're putting across here. The sweetest, the most delightful, the purest of the cabbies is somehow just involved in mendacity.

I'm merely suggesting that she's gilding the lily, perhaps a bit because it just seems too perfect to be true. Maybe that's the magic of EtOH four. Maybe I'm just looking too deeply into this, or maybe she's fallen under the spell of the evil lord Dark Darkness, John Burns. Look, everything is in play here. I'm not going to dismiss any theory.

At this point, she decides to drive this guy one hundred and forty miles, and initially they start to make small talk. She tells the guy about her art gallery dreams, and hey, what do you know? It turns out this destination is an art auction, and he asks her to join him, and she initially demures. She says no, no, no, But you can really see that Nardo is starting to warm up to this guy. They cut back to the cab.

They kind of faded and fade out. Now he's actually driving the cab, which I thought was a funny juxtaposition. There. Here's where the unreliable narrator thing comes in. He's pouring his heart out to Elaine about how he got divorced because he wanted kids.

The next wife didn't hp listen. I know you keep accusing her of lying, You keep saying gild lily, but she's lying. But here's the thing, this might be the one good story. Maybe this was the perfect night for Elaine. This is why this is why people should actually admire cab Ato for because a magical moment like this could have happened and it still ends tragically.

Maybe I'm just looking at it with two jaundiced of an opinion. I trust Elane Nardo clearly you don't. Maybe not hands off. She's my girlfriend. Now, so they're driving, and even she admits at this point when he says he wanted kids, she didn't even, she says to herself, like you're you're too perfect.

They finally pull up to a stately mansion. It's the end of the line for Mike Beldon. Now we know his name. His name is Mike Belden. Terrible.

You see it sounds it's like George Glass, It's phony, phony as hell. He asks Elaine to spend the night with him, confessing that this might be his only chance because he's got to fly to London the next day and he doesn't know when he'll return. Elane is conflicted, She's very conflicted, But finally she says she just can't do it. They eric kiss, very passionate kiss, and he pays for the ride with a hundred dollars tips. Oh I got one hundred dollar tip?

Did he pay for the ride and give her one hundred dollar tip? Or did you just give her one hundred dollar bill? Because all I saw was him handered one hundred dollars. No, no, no, no, he paid for the ride. And then he says, and this is for you, and she says, one hundred dollars I can't.

She refuses. He says he wants her to think of it as a down payment. On her art gallery, which is very sweet, and she jokingly asks him, well, what would you have given me if we had spent the night? Oh my god, memories, baby, that's what he says. He says in the tenderest of tones.

He says, a very sweet memory. And just as everybody is kind of clutching their chest, going, oh, this guy is too perfect. Over the radio, Louis comes on and says, you're better off with the one hundred because he's been listening. Apparently the radio has been on through this whole trip, right, and Louie has been spying on them, And of course Elaine is mortified. But you know what, Mike Belden, he's fine.

He's like, you know what, that's cool, you know, because he's a perfect guy. He's a perfect guy. You know what. Here's the thing now, HP, we have corroboration. There's no gilding of anything.

Louis de Palma heard the entire affair in this segment. I'm going to call memories of Cab two six four because that's the cab Tom Selleck gets into not cave eto for this is why Mary lew Henner is worth her weight in gold. Wants her performance In this scene when she's driving the cab and having this conversation with Tom Selleck, Elaine Nardo never stops driving. Compare it to the very next scene where Tom Selleck is driving. He is the absolute worst at fake driving a car.

He spends the entire scene basically not taking his eyes off of Nardo, and who can blame him, but it just made me very, very nervous. Near the end end of the scene, I counted he kept his eyes on her for five seconds. And then they cut to an exterior and the car is going through this winding wooded road. This is now a horror story going on, expecting the expected them to go off a ravine. Yeah, bad, bad.

Fake driving is one of those things that once you notice it, it takes you out of the scene almost completely. I think they oversold the idea that he just can't take his eyes off of her drive the car. Tom sellec I now have a question about the end of this her fond memory of Cabato for good. Now it's wistful because this was the perfect man and it's the one that got away. But it was a magical evening up until then.

Now, let's say that Mike Belden got in the car and was a dummy, did not promise any of the potential boyfriend material, right, would Nardo have fucked him? I say yes, see, and I was gonna say no, really, if that guy got it. Now we were talking about the seventies and the permissiveness and certainly the slippery morality of here, and certainly Nardo has boasted of her sexual promise on occasion. If that guy gets in her a cab and she's like, I'm never going to see this guy again. And he's a dummy and I don't really have anything in common with but you know what, look at him, I'm gonna have to agree to disagree, because to do that would be to ignore the fact that she has a very well established moral compass, and we see it in every episode.

I can't see her throwing that all away, and the fact how could she live with herself with her kids that she's done it. We need another We did a separate episode like Memories of Cab two two two or something like that, you know, where all the real bad stuff happened. So now Elaine says that it's Alex's turn to tell a story. Now, I thought he already told his story, the dumb story about how it burns almost killed him by pushing the safety shield onto his head. But apparently that's how they padded out part one when they figured out we have enough material to make two episodes.

Sure, Sure, And after paying a little lip service to the idea, Tony says that Alex probably has the best story of them all and Alex I liked that. Alex kind of gives him his wink and was like, you bet i'd one are the two stories that he suggests before he lands on the pregnancy one. Alex's other two stories that he references about eight oh four before he lands on the one, He discusses he had two stories. One was about a contortionist who insisted on riding in the trunk, and the second story is about a woman with a head of lettuce who insisted that it was alive and was asking Alex to ask it questions. Both of them wouldn't be better stories than the story.

Probably. We go into Alex's story and it's wintertime and an expectant father and his girlfriend hail Alex to take them to the hospital. She's very pregnant. She's about ready to deliver her baby. Who's the father?

It's a familiar face in Nigo Montoya, Alex Rieger killed his father. He needs to prepare to dies. Mandy Patakin. It's crazy to watch this episode where not only does Tom Selleck feature prominently, but Mandy fucking Patinkin. This is yeah.

Man. Obviously he's known, like you said, for Princess Bride and he's a big Broadway performer. But for myself, he I prefer to think of him as Detective San Francisco and the criminally underrated movie Alien Nation. That is a good movie. Rockney s Abandon wrote that one if anyone listening to this has not seen it, I recommend that you do.

It's you will not be disappointed. It's a great movie. His girlfriend, I guess that we find out, is named Regina Bath like a Batman cut out, you know, like a bath sure biff band boof. She has no real credits of note, however, she starred in a nineteen seventy six movie called Atlantic City Jackpot aka The Money, which also featured Danny Dan Divido as the bartender. Are you familiar with this movie father alone?

Yes? Actually you are? Was it a I couldn't get much information. Was it a comedy? Was it yes, let's say comedy action?

Or I saw it as a kid. I have no recollection more than that. I do remember Danny DeVito and a lot of things early on, and certainly I was always willing to watch because I liked him from Taxi. The movie that I was surprised to find him in that I had no awareness of until I saw it was a movie called Swap Meat, which was your garden variety drive in CNA flick and Devido features prominently in this movie. Have you ever seen that?

I have? And now I'm going to have to see that John Breeze is in it. Oh oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna check that out. Yeah. It reminds me of like Scavenger Hunt.

It's a terrible movie, don't don't get don't get any wrong. It's bad, but it's worse than Is it worse than Going Ape? Featuring Danny DeVito and Tony Danza? Yes, it's worse. Well, it depends on the looking forward to it.

No, no, no, it depends on the criteria with which you're looking to enjoy it on Like if you're looking for just a mindless teensploitation movie from like the seventies always then you'll love it. But if you want something is a timely drama about man and his two apes who figure into an inheritance, then Going Ape Is is what you should go with. Well, Going Ape has Stacy Nelkin in it, so that's speaking of seventies eighties actresses, and she was also in Crazy and also featuring Jennifer Walters I believe was also in Going Ape. Back to Potacan for a second, because you know, patacon Is wasn't always be a monster of the stage, so he was well known to the maker's taxi. Because from my understanding that when Jed Hirsh was being a bit cagy about whether or not he would commit to a series of television, the shortlist included mister Mandy Patinkin to take on the role of Alex Rieger, which, thank god Hurst came to his senses, because I would have spent five seasons constantly on edge that Rigor would suddenly start belting out, brother, can you sperad Although we to be fair, we do get to see Rieger belt out being alive twice in a future episode, so that's fine.

But you know, Patenkon would be doing it in every episode. That would have become one of the characters unfulfilled ambitions, right, he wanted to be an opera singer or something. Yeah, precisely, Mandy Patinkin was. I don't know how far up the list he was, but I know that he did. I've read in the Lovey's Book.

I think Tony Danza discusses how he when he went into do line readings he read with Mandy Patinkin, which lends credence to your theory that he would have been on the shortlist. So that's pretty cool. They get in this cab, this father, this expectant father, and his girlfriend. This is a mix up where the father gets in without the without the girlfriend, and they have to have you seen an episode in any television series at any editor where there's an elevator pregnancy, a trapped pregnancy. Here it is.

Every single one of those cliches are here. He's bumbling about this. He's really on board until the actual pregnancy starts, and then he's failing and failing and failing, has to get in the front seat and everything, Oh my god, it goes south from there. He's he's trying to project confidence, but once it becomes clear that her contractions are coming too close to really make it to the hospital, he starts to lose his calm. She's going to have the baby right there in the cab.

He gets lightheaded. The father gets lightheaded and has to lay in the front seat of the cab while Alex does all the work in helping the woman to deliver her baby in the middle of its winter. I mean it's cold. The father is getting nauseous and lightheaded. Like I said, he's still trying to coach the white, the girlfriend and Alex with the Lama's method.

Although my favorite line from this and this was not my favorite segment by a long shop, but my favorite line is the father says to Alex, make sure make sure she's at a forty five degree angle, to which Alex exclaims, to what to what, which is exactly like if I'm in the back stage with Alex, if I'm Alex in the back seat with this woman, and he says like, like forty five degrees to what to the seat, to her back, to her legs, Like what does this all mean? So I thought that was pretty funny. I agree, there are gems here. I know I'm beating on it because it's it's Clicheville, USA, but it's winning because the performances here are all solid. They're really really good performers.

What you know, they can't it can't be bad. The writing is fine, but they're elevating everything, these three because it would have been so easy to have the panicky dad who's hyperventilating and overdoing it and playing it like really huge, and that's not what Potenkon does here. Alex frantically calls Louie on the radio and tells him a lady's having a baby, to which Louie replies, I never saw her before. He asks Louie to send a doctor to their location. The baby's coming, and the father refuses to look.

The mother I think his name is Alan. The mother, whose name I believe is Ruth, says that she'll remember this, and you know she's gonna hold this against him. At the last second, the guy finally says, all right, I'm gonna look, but I'm gonna pass out. And then he looks, and of course this beautiful look of calm and wonder and happiness and just it flashes across this guy's face witnessing the miracle of childbirth? Have you?

And then he turns to the camera and he says, you've been patinking, You've been patinking. That is that is outstanding. So so finally the baby comes out. The father is looking on with pride and love and everything, and Rieger wraps the baby up in his jacket because it's winter, and uh, everybody's happy. They thank Alex, and they asked him, since, well, since the baby doesn't have a name yet, what's what's your name?

They don't even know his name, and he says Alex Bandy Patinkin replies, maybe we'll get you a bottle of scotch. So that wow. Okay, look, I think this is a nothing segment. I did not enjoyant. I think all the performances are really good.

But I will point to one thing that might redeem the episode. We talk about business, about little bits of business that actors engage in. When they say what's your name? Alex says Alex, and Judd Hirst points at his hack license, which the audience can't see. That's a really great bit of business.

That made me like the segment a whole lot, So thank you, Judd. Hirst. It's a great bit of business, and it helps again to create that vers similitude that they're in the cab. His hack license is there. Even if we don't see it, it's there, and it would make sense for the character to point that out to a passenger.

You know. Maybe he's pointing because he wants him to see the spelling of Alex right or something like that. Maybe anything. Oh no, anyone would do it, like my name is right there. You said it best.

This is really a nothing segment. There's really not much, you know, the previous segments. I mean, obviously Wheelers was great and Nardo's had its moments. This was not a great feature for Reager, unfortunately, but but nevertheless we cut back to the garage and now Laca emerged. Oh boy, here we go.

He's finished his work on eight o four and the cabbies rush over and Lock, with great fanfare, presents them with the newly repaired caveato four and it looks brand new. Right, Oh yeah, nothing could go wrong here. The cabbies are delighted. They are just so happy to see eight O four looking good. There's some debate over who gets to drive it first, right, Tony says, hey, I saved the guy's life, and Bobby says, well, I saved my life, and Nardo says, well, I found the man.

At this point, HB. They should have had a clip show where they all remember they're remembering who gets to drive Caveato four. We call it Memories of Caveato four, Part three. There's some haggling about who should drive it. Alex finally insists that he has the best reason to drive it, because he welcomed the new life in the back of Caveato four.

I think Louis says, the man is right. The man is right, and he hands the keys to Alex. He's about to get in the car, and Laca comes over to him to give him some caution about it. Oh four. I think the first thing he says is be careful of the steering.

This is great. This whole sequence between the two of watch lot goa be serious is one of my favorite things on this show. I think he says, you know, watch out because sometimes you go this way, the car goes this way. Alex. He says, okay, I'll be fine, Laca, and he gets into the car, and then Laca goes on to say, all right, well, the brakes are very good unless it's very wet or very dry, to which now you see Alex kind of looking a little more worried about it, but he still gets into the car, and then Laca leans in again and says, oh, and don't go over twenty five miles an hour, or the transmission will go cab Louie.

It's a better description than that HP where he tends his fingers up and says, just right, just explosion. You can see Alex is kind of apprehensive about the whole thing. He turns the ignition and what looks suspiciously like some off screen stage hands rocking. Oh my god, it's awful. I was expecting the Blues Mobile exploding and Deely Plaza, and instead of what we got is exactly what you just said.

A bunch of stage hands shaking it and some smoke pouring out from the engine that the little the little box on the top that's his taxi on the on the roof of the cart tumbles over. That made no sense at all, Like you said, there's smoke coming out of the hood. And Alex says, on reflection, I believe I delivered that baby in eight oh three Vadville. Basically he gets out of the car and they kind of walk away and that's it. That's the end of this two parter as is our wants.

Let's talk about the good. Why don't you kick this off follow the Lorne. Well, this is a two part episode, but I think we're gonna do it as cumulative here, right, all is one? All is one? Okay, So overall I loved all.

The B role going on in this episode was fantastic. I liked the entire segment with Wheeler and his would be assailant Scoe Scoe Mitchell. Chris Barnes is the is the MVP of the entire episode. He's so good, so effortlessly charming. And one thing I've always said about child performers, they can appear intelligent without appearing precocious, which is what Chris Barnes has always done in every single one of his roles.

He's a great addition here. I learned a few bar games, bar bets from the episode. That was good in my youth, A lot of good Nardo. That's that's all I can say. Really was no, and I echo so much of what you just said I have written here.

The B role during Tony's segment is exceptionally good. Elane's segment is very week but if not the product of a somewhat unreliable narrator. We've talked about that Louis segment has some great laughs. His is probably the one with the most laughter, the best jokes. It's what I'm looking for from a taxi episode is that segment.

The Wheeler's segment is really good. Also, it's always good to see Burns be the target of so much Cabby ire. I think too often they end up making excuses for him. It's nice, finally to see that he's done something that even they can't forgive. I kind of like that, Yeah, they've totally accepted him as one of their own, unwillingly, like the like the dog at the beginning of the thing.

Right, the bad, let's talk a little bit about the bad. Here are two is the bad part of this entire thing, and the less said about Alex's segment about having the baby in the back of the cab. Now both those segments effectively, if you just jettison part two, you've got a really solid episode of Taxi. We're gonna get the quintessential taxi episode out of either of these episodes or collectively as a whole. As novel a concept as it is of having a clip show with new clips instead of clips that had already happened, it still was never going to be the top quality what you can expect from a taxi episode.

So for me, it was inconsistency about some of these segments. It felt a little bit over long in places like they tried to take what you had said, which is a single episode of Taxi, a good single episode, and make it into two somewhat mediocre episodes of Taxi. You can probably say that that's a feature and not a bug, and that this was by design. Yeah, let's talk about yellow lights center, our favorite segment, What does a yellow light mean? Reminder, we're working on a scale of one to five yellow lights.

Five yellow lights is the quintessential perfect Taxi episode. One yellow light me. I will never watch this episode again. If I can help it, I have to give this episode two yellow lights. It's great in part.

There are some wonderful moments, but overall, the hole is somewhat less than the sum of its parts. I guess if you will. Good good pieces didn't make out an especially cohesive or good whole. If we're looking at these and again we're judging this as one long episode as opposed to a two parter episode. So I'm giving it two yellow lights.

How about yourself follow them alone. I want to give part one three yellow lights and Part two one yellow light, so I'm giving overall two yellow lights to the episode. I'm echoing here, and I like your reasoning. I like the fact that you averaged out the score between the first and the second parts and then just averaged out that total. Luckily, if you were to ask me if you were to watch one of these episodes, I could say, yes, watch part one.

It's worth it. It's funny, and you're gonna have a good time with those characters. It's consistent, and it's all good. There's no padding at all. Really.

Yeah. One of the great things about Taxi is there are just so many great episodes just waiting to be discovered and discussed that I always look forward to this. It's in fact, we get some good ones coming up, some interesting ones. But nevertheless, just to summarize, we both each of us give the episode two yellow lights. So that will do it for this particular episode of night.

Mister Walters follow them alone? Where can people find you when you're not hanging around the garage. If I'm not hanging around the garage, I'm hanging around the Night Gallery. That's my show, Midnight Viewing the Night Gallery podcast, which you can hear over at Weirdingwaymedia dot com. It's one of a few things I do over there.

How about you, HP, What do you got going on? A lot of stuff on the weirding Way Media network, including this fine show, Noise Junkies, which is our music podcast that the two of us do with Heather Drain, the wonderful Heather Drain. I also have done a little bit of work here and there on Dark Destinations, which is Father Malone's wonderful audio drama podcast. I would encourage everybody to listen. It's my favorite.

That'll do it for this episode of night Mister Walters, for myself and for Father Malone, thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time. Hi, mister Walders.