Episode 31 - The Great Race

Weird way media. Night. Mister Walters. Is see that guy with it now? He's an actor all the name.

I'm a driver and the only camp driver in his place. Good evening and welcome tonight, mister Walters a taxi podcast. I'm HP your co host and with me as always as my co host, father Malone fallom alone. How are you this evening, muppets, We're talking taxi Season two, episode nine, The Great Race. This was written by Glenn Gordon Keran, who you might be.

That name might be familiar to you. He would go on to be the creator of the of the hit exactly the hit show Moonlighting, which was the starmaker for Bruce Willis. You know what I did not? I somehow missed his name in the credits here. But now that you've said it, it makes total sense that the frenetic energy and fun of this episode completely is what's on display and Moonlighting.

This one's a treat. It was, of course directed by James Barrows. I neglected to say that. Reminder, we're doing these shows in broadcast order and not in order of filming. We opened in the garage as Louis hustles his way down those central stairs, he's complaining that the boss has chewed him out because of the cabby's lousy bookings.

Louis goes on to say that back when he was a driver, he'd be ashamed to show his face if he had bookings less than one hundred bucks. He claims that he could get in a cab right now and outbook anybody, which Wheeler starts to take umbrage at. I love this premise because every boss you'll have in your life is it hasn't said this, or she hasn't said this, or thinking it. Yeah, Wheeler kind of gets his hackles up. He responds with skepticism, and Louis replies, try me call my bluff.

And then Wheeler starts to talk tough about accepting the challenge, but instead he volunteers Alex to be Louie's opponent. Bobby's point is that Alex can outbook Louis anytime, anywhere, and this is a great bit of physical comedy. He starts jabbing his finger in Louie's face, and what is an animal like Louie going to do if you do this too many times? What does he do? He bites him, but he does want him like gets your figure out of his fence.

Yeah, he bites him on the finger, and it's. You know, it's bad though, because he doesn't really bite it the comedy here at the physical comedy, he doesn't really bite it. He sort of like ends up. Looks like he's like chewing on his fingernail. It looks like he's come in to give him a manicure with his teeth.

He does his finger a little bit. But I really appreciated the commitment to the bit that he would actually put a wheeler's finger in his mouth. Yeah, is this David Mammock got the idea for Glen Gary Glenn Ross. You think so it could be. I don't know.

He was pretty active around this time. Right, you know, and you know, and then eventually writes that opening scene for the Alec Baldwin like I could take these leads right now, and I could have you. Know that I didn't think of that. That's a very good point. Alex essentially tells everybody to calm down, and he's forced to admit that he knew Louis as a driver, and he can attest to the fact that Louis did bring in a lot of money, which is interesting because I think in the first season we were led to believe that Alex has been driving a cab for what ten or fifteen years?

Yeah, so that's within the realm of possibility that Lovy might have. Been the last one or two years of Louis as a cabby before he moved up. Sure, yeah, so he's aware of Louis's reputation. He would have seen it firsthand. Which I love.

I love this backstory and I love that it's enough to make Rigor reconsider this bat like I will probably lose. We always Figger unsure of himself before he committed something like this, because we've already seen this episode in the form of a poker game, but this one is just much more successful. Yeah, he's got to be pushed, he's got to be goaded into accepting this challenge. But Bobby tells Alex he can't back down, but Alex is really apprehensive, and then Louise starts in with this business about calling Alex a chicken. Side note, when exactly was getting called a chicken the height of all insults?

And at what point did it stop being a big deal, Like if someone called you a chicken right now fall the malone would. You care, no, not even remotely, And I know it definitely was in no way in fashion moment it became such a horrible achilles heel for Marty Fly. I remember thinking at the time that that movie came out like this was these like these, this is what these screenwriters think calling somebody chicken? That'll do it these days? Is it nineteen fifty eight?

Answer your question, nineteen fifty eight is the last calling somebody chicken meant anything? It's just that the goddamn boomers kept squawking ha ha about calling people chicken and like it's a big deal. Yeah. And I was thinking specifically that probably the highest profile example of this was, as you said, Back to the Future Too, where Flea calls Martin with fly a chicken and that basically forces him to drive the car into traffic. He has the accident that injures his hand, he can never whatever.

But I always thought even then that that was a very thin sort of premise to hang that that type of situation on, Like is that really going to cause someone to get that upset that they're going to like risk life and limb And in this case, maybe that's maybe the worst part of this episode, which is not saying much because it's a fabulous episode. But probably the thing I like the least was is he could have done something, could have been more creative in goating Alex into accepting this challenge. But that's a like I said, that's a nitpick. It's not a big dea. What maybe for those guys are of a similar vintage, So maybe chicken, you know, back in fifty eight they were both kids, like chicken means something to them.

It's like saying this guy is a fucking prick or something. I don't know. I don't know, but but Alex says he doesn't like to get involved in things like this. He gets a little crazy, and I think we've seen flashes of this. We eventually learned that he's at a gambling problem.

I think we saw that when he played cards with Louie's brother, that he tries to level with Louis, and that it's taken him a long time to get over competitiveness in his life and he'd rather they just drop the whole thing. HP. How far in the episode are we now? Maybe five minutes not even I think it's very very early, right, and we've already learned this, like thing about Louis in the past. It's true, we know much more about him.

We know a lot more about Riager and his unwillingness to go up against Louis, like he thinks they'll be beaten. And now we know learn this other thing about Rieger, and it's being bang boom, Like we just watched an episode with of a love triangle with Banta and Wheeler and some lady, and I didn't learn one thing about any of those fuckers over a twenty something minute sequence. Say episode, the writing here is really really good. I can't recall off hand if this was his only episode, but if it is, it's a shame because it is, like you said, it's economical where it's going at a rapid pace. We've already we're only like four or five minutes into the episode and we're already cooking.

There's already a lot going on here, a lot of pieces moving. And a lot of character. That's it's insane how much is put together just in this moment or two. Yeah, it's fabulous, and everybody we will see this as the episode goes along, but really everybody has a little piece of this episode. This is one of those great taxi episodes where the whole gang is involved to a certain degree, and it's wonderful, especially as a palate cleanser from I keep talking about the previous episode, but it cannot be overstated how dreary it was.

Louis. He hears this from Alex, and Louis starts hopping around the garage making chicken clucking noises. And now Alex is really getting mad. We've seen what Alex can do. He's like Bill Bixby in The Hulk, Right, you don't want to get make Alex angry because you won't like him when he's angry.

Ironically, we really do like him when he's angry, but it's true not probably not best to be around him when he's angry. So he does the classic thing where he says to Louie, you cluck one more time and he'll take you up on this silly bet and he'll beat you. And now truly he makes a meal of this. He grabs the mic from his he takes the microphone from his cage, and he makes the loudest clucking noises they're echoing throughout the whole garage, and finally this puts Alex over the edge and he agrees to the contest and all of the Cabby's, and it must be said the viewer, we're all now, we're delighted with what's going to happen because it looks like fun. Right, Everybody loves a caper.

Everybody loves one of these self contained bottle episodes where it's just about some silly bed or some silly wager, and I'm in for it. I love this kind of episode. Yeah, it's fantastic and we're obviously in the right hands for it. Bobby hypes up the garage with this announcement that this is the King Cabby Contest and it will take place tomorrow. But then Alex says, why should we wait till tomorrow, Let's do it now, and everybody is hot up.

The buyer, he's really he's very, very hyped up for this, and Louis agrees, and now Tony starts off the betting interest. He says, I'm gonna put one hundred dollars on Alex. Louie covers the bet, and then he says that he's going to cover all the bets. So now there's all this betting action going on, people betting on this to that the other thing, and then Louis decks himself out in his cab uniform, which is awesome. It's this leather coat and a scarf and one of those page boy caps.

You know, leather page boy caps with a button on it. Oh my god, I'm like, this episode is great. And then it gets better and oh, now this it's a delight. This episode's a treat. It's so much fun because we're geared up for this contest.

What's going to happen? We don't know. Oh side note. Throughout the scene and the rest of the episode, by the way, you can hear the distinctive honking laughter of Jim Brooks, one of the producers. It's always for me, that's always a mark of a really excellent episode because you can hear him his laughter above the audience consistently.

It's wonderful. It makes you feel like this like if they're charged up for it, then I'm going to be charged up for it, you know, absolutely, because he's been Because you got to figure Jim Brooks has been watching rehearsals for this show throughout the week and he still thinks it's hilarious. Yeah, and wonderful that it's such an involuntary response comedy, I mean laughter to comedy. That's how you know it's funny or not. Did you laugh?

Yeah? Alex announces that he's ready, and Bobby then makes an announcement that the winner is going to be the Cabby who brings in the most money in eight hours. It's very important. It'll come back to that later in the episode. Alex asks what the rules are, and then Louis says the rules are there are no rules, and they shake on it.

Nardo goes over to Alex and wishes him luck and says, well, if she hadn't the extra money, she'd bet on Alex for sure, and this catches Louise's ear and he says he'll cover that bet. She says, well, no, you don't understand. I don't have any money, and looking for an angle by which that she can bet something, Louis asks Nardo what what's a date with her worth? She thinks for a moment, and she says five hundred dollars. Now, according to my favorite website, the amortization dot org, how much is five hundred dollars from nineteen seventy nine.

In twenty twenty four, follom alone eighteen fifty. No, it is two thousand, two hundred and sixty five dollars and forty eight cents. Almost four hundred dollars off. What's going on here? No, but think about that.

She thinks for a minute, and she believes, in today's parlance, a date with her is worth almost twenty three hundred dollars, which, of course Louis is incredulous at. But then Nardo thinks she got the best of him, and she smugly walks away. But then to her surprise, Louis takes the bet that stops her dead in her tracks. Anyone would take that bet, that's the dumbest thing ever. So then Louis and Alex get in their cabs and Laka starts the race grease style in front of the cabs with a handkerchief or whatever.

Laka starts the race. And potato three potato. Yeah, won for the money for the show. And then we got this crazy shout of two cabs racing out of the garage. Man, it's awesome because we rarely ever see the cabs actually moving in and out of the garage, so it really gives you a sense of scale for the garage.

I think they did a great job with that. So now they race out of the garage. I think actually Louis has the inside track. He cuts in front of Alex, which. I believe it.

Looked like they might have, but as you'd expect, Louis looking for any angle. So they dart out of the garage and we cut it. We cut to the inside of Alex's cab. We're back to the poor man's process, which we haven't seen much. Excuse me, so step away the fuck back.

No, we don't cut to that. We cut to a b roll extravaganza. They pass off the b roll of cabs rolling out of Sunshine Cab here at dusk that we've seen dozens of times, and we're supposed to pretend that that's Alex Rieger. And then they cut to an insert from that previous Angela episode where he's wearing something completely different, just to establish that is Rieger in that cab, and then back to the b roll. I was like, what is happening?

Like this episode just keeps getting better. We're inside of Alex's cab and he hears from Bobby over the radio that Louie's tearing it up. He had eight fares in one cab and Alex isn't doing so well. I think he says he has what he's had one fare and the guy stiffed him. But then Alex excitedly sees a fair and he pulls over.

And then two nuns. It sounds like the beginning of a joke. Two nuns get into the cab and they say to him they're going to go to the movies, and unfortunately for Alex, they can't agree on which film to see. One of them wants to see the Muppet Movie and the other one wants to go to see a revival of the Sound of Music. Which they've seen a dozen times already.

They're nuns, of course they've seen it. They probably watch it every time it's on television. The Muppet Movie is in theaters. Oh, there's no contest here. It's funny because that dated the episode for me, because I saw the Muppet Movie in the theater when I was a child.

I would have been five or six years old at the time. So at the General Cinema's two in Saugus, Massachusetts, did. You really wow? Is that? How was that theater around very long?

Was that still around when we were when we were. In high school up until about I think the nineteen ninety might have been its final day, or maybe even a year earlier, but it was turned into a parking lot. It was very depressing. I believe I saw it at remember that PbD Cinema right across from like Shaw's Supermarket, kind of in the middle of where. Oh yes, next to the North Shore shopping center at the.

Tidy Yes, I think I saw it there. It was not a very good movie theater. What excuse me, sir, I have very good memories of movies in that I liked that theater. You know what I remember getting in that theater? Remember they used to sell the programs for movies.

Yes, yes, what did you get? I don't remember. I remember. What I do remember about the movie program was in the back was a full poster, like a reprint of the Jesus Christ Superstar poster. And I remember being weirded out by that as a tiny Catholic.

As you should have been, probably being that young. I don't know why they're arguing, because, like you said, they should have gone to the Muppet movie because it's a new movie they hadn't neither of them had seen before. But one of the nuns says she doesn't like Kermit, which is weird and the face. But this is all good. It's you know what it does.

It danced the episode, but it's so fucking topical seeing nuns arguing over the Muppet movie versus the goddamn Sound of Music. Again. Yeah, it's it's it's funny stuff. One of the nuns is played by an actor named Julie Payne, who is another recognizable face that we've seen in things like She was the mime in This Is Spinal Tap, one of the mime waiters at the beginning of the movie. She was in Curb Your Enthusiasm.

She played Cheryl's mother in that. She's done a lot of voiceover work as well. She's the one who wanted to see Sound of Music. She is the one who wanted to see Sound of Music. The other nun is interesting.

Her name is and I'm not making this up, her name is Chres Mursky, which is a name I'm not familiar with. She her claim to fame is she played Missus Wormser in the movie Revenge of the Nerds. I couldn't remember that at all, but that's about her only acting credit. But It stood out to me because I was a big fan of that movie growing up. Its not age well, as it has to be said, the argument between these two nuns reaches it pushes Alex to the point of he kicks them out of the cab.

He kicks two nuns out of the cab, but almost immediately he realizes his mistake and gets them back into the cab, and after some more bickering, they pick a movie, and to our relief, they picked them up at movie, which was, to your point, the right choice. Here's my note that I wrote for the scene kicking out Nuns. Love it. Judd Hirsh plays it really well because he's so exasperated, and then almost immediately he talks to himself says, wait a minute, did I just kick out nuns? Oh, come on, get back in here, and then he calls them back in.

It's believable that they would get back into the cab after get being kicked out because he plays it so well. He plays like he's really remorseful about this. So we fade out and in It's later in the evening, Bobby reports that Louis hit one hundred bucks, and at that same moment, Alex is at forty dollars, so Alex's got to really kick this in a high gear. He's losing by an almost two to one margin to Louis at this point, Alex, now there's maybe one of my favorite parts of the whole show. Alex pulls over for another fair, which turns out to be Hey, it's screen legend, James, I just do eyes Hong.

This is this man needs no introduction. He has credits stretching back to nineteen fifty three. He's been in Perry Mason, he was in The Sand Pebbles, The Rockford Files, of course, Blade Runner, Big Trouble in Little China. This is mister David Lopan in the cab Shut up which side note. I just watched that the other night again with because my son asked to watch Big Trouble Little China.

Yeah, what a fucking great movie. It really is. It only gets better. It only gets better. I there's little things that I see and notice with him and his interactions with Wang.

It is awesome. Eggshen is a delight of a character. It is my dream to own a two can bird. They're my favorite animal in the world, and they're playful and fun and if I achieve that goal, he will be named mister David Lopat. Why a two can in particular?

Like, what's the tie in there? Have you ever been around at two can? No? Never. They're like dogs with wings.

They're really fun. They're playful and silly and they'll play catch with you. They're just delightful and they're beautiful that beak. You know, it's just I don't know. Two cans have always done it for me.

And then to find out that they're the mascot for Guinness Brewery. Wow, Okay, I'll take that one too. Give me all the two Cans. He was in everything, everywhere, all at once. He's got over four hundred and sixty four credits on IMDb.

James Hong is nothing less than a living legend. And here Hong is playing an Asian businessman who doesn't speak any English and he's preferring a huge wad of cash on Alex, and Alex realizes that he could basically cheat this man blind, and he'd be none the wiser because the guy doesn't know how much it's gonna cost to get him to wherever Alex needs to drive him. And Alex even checks in with a lane for advice over the radio, and she as as we've seen this darker turn of a lane. She is elated to hear the situation like he in her mind is like, yeah, of course rob the guide blind. It'll get me away from Louis.

Of course you're gonna do it. Alex considers the situation a little bit more, and after some you know, slightly dated language barrier jokes, Alex ultimately does the right thing. He takes only what he is owed for the fare, and he gives. The money back. It's five bucks, he's gonna have like nine.

Yeah, it's a big water cash. And he gives the rest back to this businessman. And the businessman finally realizes what's happened and he expresses some gratitude to Alex. And I have to say, there's a moment where the camera cuts to James Holk's character as he leaves the cab and he gives this look to Alex as he leaves the cab, and I just thought it was remarkable. It really is this sort of look like I appreciate what you've done, like kind of almost nods to Alex as he leaves the cab, and then he's gone and Alex is left having missed this big opportunity to make all this money.

He doesn't need English, he doesn't need your dialogue to be great. He'll just jump in taxi, say what he wants and leave. You know. HBO over on my show Midnight Viewing, and we just reviewed an episode with James son So tells from the Dark Side. It was called it All Comes Out in the Wash and he's the villain of it, and he was great.

He's a villain really well, well. He's more of a force of vengeance. Let's say, huh, what's the episode about out Briefly. It's about not at all stereotypically. James Hong runs a a laundry service, but in this case, horrible people bring their clothing that they committed terrible accent and once washed, their sins are washed away and they no longer feel any guilt about it.

That sounds cool, and James keeps putting the screws to his clients and it's good. It said, yes, everyone sho check it out. At this point, we finally cut over to Louie and his cat. We haven't seen Louie doing what he does, and he's driving around an older man in a trench coat another the show Loves People in trench Coats. This man is an actor named Scott Brady.

Are you familiar with Scott Brady? I am not. Fasten your seatbelt because you're about to have your mind blown. Father alone, we have here, we have yet another Joe Dante connection. Yes, we do.

He played, among other things, the sheriff in Gremlins. Remember the sheriff, Oh my god, yes, of course. You know what's funny HP in my mind when I remember this episode, the blind man in the back of Louie's cab is Rance Howard. He looks like him, but he's not, though, So when. I was rewatching this episode, I was rocked by the fact that it wasn't Rance Howard.

And even though I had some glimmer of recognition with this guy, I was just like, man, what's wrong with me? You're not far off? Though the guy does bear and we'll talk about him shortly. He does look a lot like Rance Howard, but in this case, this guy Scott Brady, Like I said, he was a sheriff in Gremlins. I remember him.

You remember him, of course. But here's some interesting facts about Scott Brady. For a very odd name. By the way, his brother was also an actor. Do you care to guess who his brother was without cheating or looking.

I'm not looking up anything. Does he have the same last name? No? Oh, is it Rance Howard? No, that would be quite a coincidence, but no, it's not.

Rin's Howard. Give you one more guess, just to take a guy. He's older. I think his brother is older. If that means anything, uh e g.

Marshall. No, but you're close kind of. His brother is the actor Lawrence Tierney. Oh my god. Wow, yeah makes sense now.

Yeah, yeah, Joe from from Reservoir Dogs. Of course he was. I think he was a Lane's father in Seinfeld. Lawrence Tierney scary scary man. Yeah, they don't want what you met him once?

What was that like? He was phenomenal, he was Everyone was into him because he came to see Reservoir I played. I was a projectionist at a movie theater at Santa Monica and we showed Reservoir Dogs, and over the course of the run of the film, one by one each of the Reservoir Dogs showed up and watched the movie there. But Lawrence Tierney was the first, and he was delightful. He had tons of younger women fawning over him, like what.

And we had in the theater. It was kind of an art house cinema, so we had these Jacques Tatis, these giant French subway posters up, and there was I think it's mister Hulo's holiday. And he kept going on and on about what a genius Jaque Tatis was, and then he was like, look, I'm going to do his walk, and then he did this Jacques Tatis walk across the lobby. So I have fond memories of Lawrence Terney. I mean, I understand that he was a volatile human being and caused a lot of strife on sets and stuff, but what I got was super nice.

And then he signed my Reservoir ARCS poster and he signed it to the Terrible Boss of the New Wilshire crime Family, which the New Wilsher Theater was the name of the theater. Wow, that is a great story. There's some indication that he was estranged from his brother Scott Brady, so it's not surprising to hear you say that maybe he was a little difficult to deal with, But it's my understanding that they were stranged for many, many years until I think towards the end of one of their lives, I think they reconnected. But here's another interesting bit of trivia about this fellow, Scott Brady. He was originally offered the role of Archie Bunker in All in the Family.

He turned it down and it went to Carol O'Connor, and the rest is history. Isn't that amazing? Huh? Yeah, I couldn't believe this ostensibly just this quick little guest star bit in taxi had such a rich and interesting backstory behind it. I thought it was really really cool.

Yeah, that doesn't necessarily mean that he turned down the role of a lifetime because I believe there was a pilot made for that show that didn't work at all, and they recast a bunch of people like Sally Struthers wasn't the original girl in it, and so they very well could have made the pilot with him and got No. This guy's too serious. But not to take anything away from it, because he's very, very funny in the short amount of time he's here playing this guy who is smarter than Louis. Yeah, I love I mean, this episode is full of delightful moments. As we've already said, but this little scene here with Louis and this fellow in the back of his cab, this was legit one of the funnier pieces in an already fun packed episode.

So driving two people. We've seen him drive that kid and now we've seen him drive this both have been gold. Louis to get out in the behind the wheel more often. It is, It's wonderful. So the past, this, this, this fellow, this passengers is expressing annoyance to Louis that they've already passed the un building twice, and he accuses Louis of running up the fair and then Louis protests.

The man introduces himself as Inspector Ryan of the New York Taxi Commission, and he tells Louis to pull it over. He really reads Louis the Riot Act and confiscates his hack license, which we learn is actually Tony bantas he's stolen Tony's hack license, and then Louis insults the inspector. I think he bakes he cast suspersions at his family. With a bunch of chimps. Basically right, it really always would want to say to an authority figure and Louis just letting him have it.

It's awesome. Yeah, Louis doesn't give a fuck. He's just like, well, yeah, whatever do you worst? And this inspector Ryan says, he declares that he can't wait to see Louis hung out to dry, and he tells him to go bring the cab back to the garage and he gets out of the cab, and then Louis, when he's alone in the cab again, he pulls out another hack license from his reserve and he says, Bobby Wheeler reporting for duty, and he puts the hack license down and he drives off. It's a great little sort of capsule bit within this episode.

It's really funny. There are no loose ends, there are no fatty bits on this thing. It's just fucking keeps chugging along. It's a machine. It's like a well tuned cab.

It is like I said, there's just something about shows that have this little encapsulated bet or caper or something they're trying to do, and this just ticks all of those boxes for me. I love it. It's so much fun to watch. So we cut to more b roll as we hear Bobby over the radio announcing the current standings. Alex is at one hundred and six dollars and forty cents and Louie's at one hundred and forty seven dollars, so Louie is still ahead.

Inside of Alex's cab, Bobby cautions Alex there's only an hour to go. He's way behind. Alex at this point says, no, you know what, This BET's over. But I see a little old lady. I'm gonna pick her up.

And Bobby says, no, don't pick up an old woman. You'll have to carry your bags. She's only gonna want to go a couple of blocks. But Alex just says, look, the BET's over. I'm done.

I'm just gonna finish up my night. So he has a good attitude about the whole thing because he knows he's getting skumped. So he pulls over. He helps this woman fill it, carry your groceries into the cab, during which this old woman explains that they're all these bags of groceries are all for her friends. She says, one's in the Bronx ones in Brooklyn, another one is on Long Island, and the last bag is hers, and she says she lives in New Jersey.

Now, why this woman is in Manhattan buying all these groceries for people in these far flown corners of the Tri state area is a bit of a mystery to me. I don't know about you. They all grew up in the same neighborhood in Manhattan, and this was their favorite market, and they all have particular items that you can only get in Manhattan, and now they all live in far flung areas. She's the only one capable still of going into the city to get these things for her friends. I will go with it suspension of disbelief.

That's fine. I think that's implicit in what's going on there. And I think the tracks are not at all from this fucking incredible episode. That makes sense. Although here's the thing, the promise that we're that is being leveled here is this is going to be a fair for the ages.

He's taking her not not only all over the city, he's taking her across the river and taking her in a New Jersey and taking it. It's this is going to be a big payday. Yeah. And alex is so overjoyed at the news that she's got all these different places she has to be driven to He gives her a big old smooch, and this being a. Sid is great too.

She fucking grabs him and pulls them down on top of her. It's this episode, what's going on has been saving all the funny for this one. It is Red's typical sitcom kind of behavior where the old woman like gets so jazzed up by a kiss that she grabs the guy and gives him a kiss back. But we we're happy for Alex now because he's got a fighting chance. He's got to drive this woman all over the creation and what's going to be a big payday.

We cut back now we're back in Louie's cabin. This is another great bit. He's he's crowing to himself over a bit of luck that he's experiencing. He pulls over and he picks up a blind passenger, the one that you just the rance howard looking guy comes into the cab he's and Louis can't believe his luck because this is a guy he can drive him all over the place and run up the fair and he believes this guy will never be the wiser because he's blind, of course, And then I think he even says this is my first time in New York. That's which Louis is like, oh, thank you, like he's so grateful to the cab gods to give him this fare.

They finally reach their destination and Louis asks for twenty two fifty, which is a pretty big uh, pretty. Big in modern day money, HB. But not look that up. I have my life. I would say it's like seventy five dollars, which means it's actually one hundred and twenty five dollars.

It's a lot. But then, but the great thing is this, this passenger is no fool, and he says that he's counted the clicks on the meter since he got in the cab, and he only owes Louis six bucks. The PA Daredevil. And he scolds Louis for being a cheat, and Louis tries actually threatening him by pretending. He says, well, I'm a big muscular dude and I'll you know whatever.

The guy and says, well, then you must be talking out of your belly button because he knows this guy has heightened senses, his sense of hearing. He knows Louis this little short guy in the front seat. He gives the six bucks to Louis and leaves in a big huff, and then Bobby finally comes over the radio and says, time's up, bring the cabs in. So now we've got to figure out who's won this King Cabby contest. Be for some reason, though, I have to say, they they entrust the counting of the money to the dimmest cabby they give it to.

It's just like, what's be the funniest? Who is this? Why? Who will you never give it to? Banta?

Give it a Yeah? I mean, I'm not sure Banta can count that high without using his fingers and toes, but whatever Tony counts at the poker table. I think they even have a chalkboard behind them that has like a table broken down of Louis, so. The audience get to participate. Yeah, it's but and everybody is so in the everybody in the garage is so rapped with attention.

They're all just like the audience. They're so excited, like who won, let's figure out, let's break this down, and the entire garage, like I said, we're all in anticipation, except for Elaine, who has been apparently been sitting nearly catatonic for hours because she's afraid that Louie is going to win the bet and she's going to have to go out on a date with him. Oh man, she's so furious here. It's just staring into space, like trying to not make contact, not to acknowledge any of the lecherous things, which leads me to believe, are we Is this a date? Is this a date?

We're talking about here? It it does seem like it's a little more than a date, that. There's gonna be some fucking going on. Yeah, it's and and kudos by the way to marry lou Henter, because at one point Louis comes over to her and starts making smooth talk to her, like, hey, you know, I can be tender, I can be vulnerable, And she has to be able to look into the middle distance in a catatonic state and then look back at him and make a funny joke. But Louis Dandy DeVito is just so damn funny.

I don't know how anyone could resist, like the comedy that's being thrown at her. It's great, she does a great job. They all do. So they finally break down the totals, and Louie's total is two hundred and twelve dollars and thirty cents, which in today's money would be eight hundred and forty nine dollars and five cents. That's a lot of money for eight hours worth.

Of taxi capture something. Wow. Alex's total is sadly one hundred and ninety seven dollars, which today would be about seven hundred and eighty seven dollars. Again, that I sneeze at for Christ's ake. No, they've done incredible work.

This is the pinnacle of being a cabby making this much money. He is so elated he dances a jig on the bench while Alex apologizes to everybody, and then Tony comes over to Alex to try and console him. There's this great moment where he puts his hand on Alex's shoulder and says something like, oh, what are you gonna do? Louie's really a good driver, and Alex says, yeah, thank you very much, and by the way, take a hand off of me, like he. Responds, I think Banta's setup is like you're taking this really well, like good for you, and he's like, yeah, yeah, get your hand off of me.

Yeah, But he just says it's so matter of factly as he's starting to count out his tips. Yeah, but it was so it was such a snap of him just get going right back at Tony and saying, get the hands off of me. It was I loved it. I was there for it. And you hear the night's firing up.

Oh my god, it's the future is looking bright. I'm getting ahead of myself. Elaine notices that Alex is counting his tips, and she realizes that the rules only stated that he who brings the most money in wins. He's got this big Alex has this big wad of tips. So now everybody's excited.

Maybe Alex can win this. Louis protests, Of course, he says, only what's on the meter should count. He said if he thought tips counted, he'd have pulled him more than and he goes into his pocket eighty cents. He throws the eighty cents on the thing. Now, Alex's additional forty dollars brings his total to two hundred and thirty seven dollars, which would give him the win.

But they can't come to a consensus over whether tips count or not, so they asked the only person who didn't bet on the contest, which is who father belone. Oh, it's Laca, who's completely oblivious to the contest. It sames, Yeah, he's just sitting there eating his chicken. He's not doing anything, and they all kind of crowd around him and start asking him about the contest, and of course Louie can't help making some very not so implied threats to Laca, but Laka finally agrees. Because they go back and forth, Laka agrees that tips count.

The whole garage erupts, and except for Louis, they're all happy about it, and Alex wins the contest, and Louis ends the scene by walking over to his cage and basically saying to everybody, I hope you all die. And that's the end of the episode. No bumper, no nothing. It's a lean and mean machine. We don't need a B plot because the A plot is so strong and the performances are so strong.

So that's it for this episode. As is our custom, we're going to talk yellow lights. What doesn't know light me a reminder, we have a scale of one to five yellow lights. One is the worst taxi episode, five is the best taxi episode. As is our custom, as well.

We're going to throw it to you fathom alone. What do you give the great race? Well, for the first time in Taxi history, this is a five yellow light episode. This is unassailable. It is if someone were to say what should I watch from Taxi?

I would unhesitatingly point to this one and say watch that. It's an episode where you can, having had no prior knowledge of Taxi, can watch it and enjoy it on every level. And if you've been watching the show, it's even richer because they amidst all of the wacky comedy, which is never not good, they give us some depth to these characters. It's really a remarkable piece of television. I agree with you one hundred percent.

I likewise gave this five yellow lights. As I've already said, I love movies or TV episodes that involve some kind of contest or caper. For some reason, I'm reminded there was an odd couple episode where Felix and Oscar go on, let's make a deal dressed as a horse. There's something about that I don't know. I love that episode and I love this one too.

Not that this is happening in real time, but this is a very self contained episode of high jinks from one particular evening. Some of these taxi episodes go on for months the goings on, but this is literally they decide at the start of the shift that they're going to have this bet, and then it goes to the end of the shift and that's it. The show is over. There's big laughs from Alex and Louis Cabby misadventures. This is as rewatchable as a taxi episode.

Gets five yellow lights from myself, five yellow lights from father Alone. That will do it for this episode of night mister Walters, Father Alone. Where can people find you when you're not clocked into the garage? Check out my podcast Midnight Viewing. It is a twice a week program over at weirdingwaymedia dot com.

You can also find it on Spotify and Apple and all of those regular places and check it out and if you like it, subscribe and give me five stars. Thank you. There you go. And also I want to you have a Patreon. We want to tell people about your Patreon.

Oh yes, absolutely. The Patreon part of the channel has you'll get all of the content early, you get it commercial free, and we do bonus content specifically for the channel. Those are fun, some interviews and silly things. So that's patreon dot com slash fatherm Alone. Wonderful And as for myself, you can find me and many of the same avenues as Father Malone.

I'm also proud to be on the weirding Way Media network. You can find me on guest shots on the Culture Cast with Christashu, and I've also done some work here and there and helped out on the Dark Destinations podcast, which I'm always evangelizing. Great show, great radio show, radio drama, wonderful production value. Check that out if you haven't already. And I also have a band campsite hpmusicplace dot bandcamp dot com.

Some new content coming there soon, so check that out. But that again, that will do it for night. Mister Walters. Thank you so much for listening. Please feel free to subscribe to the podcast, write a review, rate us.

We'd love to hear from you in any way you see fit. So for myself and for Father Malone, thanks again for listening and we'll see you again next time. Nik