Episode 32 - The Apartment

Weird media. Ni misters is see that guy with it now? He's an actor. All I can't drive and I only can't driver in his place. Good evening and welcome tonight, mister Walters Taxi Podcast.

I'm HP your co host and with me as always, it's my co host, Father Blone, Father Blone? How are you this evening? I'm not father in lun tonight, I'm the King ad Whammy and your butt kiss. That might be my favorite intro that you've done so far. That that's perfect for this episode.

We'll talk about that tonight. We're discussing season two, episode ten, The Apartment. This was written by Barry Rubinowitz and directed by the resident director James Burrows. So reminder, we're doing these shows in broadcast order and not in order of filming. We opened in the garage as Simpleton.

Tony runs in and he gushes to the other caves that he actually had Neil Armstrong as a fair in his cab. Can you believe it? Father Malone? Is this? Could this possibly be true?

No, it's monumental, it's got to be true. It's got to be true. As we'll find out, not so much. Histori unravels quickly as he goes on to say that, they ask where'd you go with Neil Armstrong? The other Caveys say where'd you go?

And he says, oh, I went to the unemployment office, and this raises red flags. Everybody has a look of concern on their face because they realize that once again, Tony the idiot is getting had. He goes on to say that Armstrong paid him with something better than money, and to which he pulls out a rock that he claims to be a piece of the moon. And Bobby tries to politely expose the truth to Tony, but for some reason, Alex rudely shushes him like a parent whose child is telling a tall tale and somebody's trying to correct them, and it's like no, no, no, no, no, Let the kid have his moment, which just confirms that all of the Cabby's believe that Tony's just an idiot? Does it not?

Certainly does this episode so far putting it in sesame street terms, is brought to you by the color yellow. For some reason, there's a preponderance of yellow going on. Wardrobe wise, Tony is in his baseball tea, which is yellow trim and Nardo has decided she's going to be the mascot for a fast food chain. She just hasn't decided which one, but she's good for any of them, because every fast food chain has the combination of red and yellow, and she's got both going here. So at that point, Louis hustles down that famous central staircase.

He's coming down from the boss's office and he's complaining he's gotten chewed out by mister McKenzie because evidently someone has spent the night in the garage in Mackenzie's office specifically, So Louis goes over and he tries to pump the cabbs for info, during which, in a kind of a funny moment, Loacha strolls by on his way to the bathroom, and he's resplendent in a bathrobe. He's got a towel, he has a little cup with his razor, his toothbrush. The whole works like a caddy. It's like he's on vacation then at a hotel, you know, just going from the suite into the restroom. Yeah, it's no big thing.

Loca just seems very comfortable, and he's on his way to get ready in the morning and Louie then goes over to the bathroom and angrily pulls Loka out. He demands an explanation, and he goes on to say that the cleaning lady found quote a strange man asleep on the sofa, and Loca, with a half smile, answers creepily, how did she know I was strange? This might be my favorite line, bar none of the whole episode, Father Malone. This is it's a moment where Loka falls away and Andy Kaufman is revealed. It's so much an Andy Kaufman moment that I just love watching it.

Don't you agree? I totally agree with you. I have a competing best line of the episode that comes later that okay. Loka insists to Louis that he lives in the garage now, but Louis goes ahead and reads him the riot Act. He insists that he can't live in the garage, he can't he can work here.

Louis says, he can work here, he can die here, but he can't live here, and the rest of the cabbys, of course, come to Laca's defense, and Loaka finally explains to the cabbys because they ask him what happened to your apartment? What went on? And Loka explains that they tore the building down. They ask why did they tear the building down, and in my second favorite line of the episode, he says, because it would not burn This was a time, actually, this was probably a time when a lot of the landlords, the slum lords in New York would burn down the buildings for the insurance money. I think this is a reference.

This is this is still prime burning down everything time. Yeah, New York City. Absolutely, they're making a comment on the current state of affairs. And it's good. I once again beyond the fact that Taxi is a well written and funny show, it's great.

This is yet another example of a little time capsule moment in the history of New York. This is a good example of that. So we fade back into the garage. Sometime later, Alex comes in. He's bringing his bookings to Louis, and Tony asks how the Laca apartment hunt is going.

Nodice Alex says, there's really nothing much in Laca's price range, which is not surprising because I'm sure real estate now is terrible and it was probably just as bad back then. Especially I bet. He could find something. I bet he can find some shape. Actually nineteen ny you.

Think like a flophouse, something really. Seed yeh CD, maybe not so CD, Like he could probably find something. The real question is why he didn't just take the bank seat of a car out and put it in that tool room that nobody goes into him anyway, and just live there. Like, why was he going upstairs to the boss's place. That's weird?

Well, the reason is because the boss has the most well appointed and comfortable room in the garage. Probably he's got a couch. He's got so much he's saving so much money on rent now, he could just buy himself a couch and put it in there and cover it with a tarp. If the situation was indeed that dire, that I agree with you, he should have just hauled a seat into that tool room that nobody ever goes to, to your point, and just grab some shot eye there. The only thing he couldn't do is wash up and do all of that.

But he could do that before the cavies came in about you. Well, the thing is here. The thing that they're not taking into consideration, I guess is well, I mean the boss would be gone during the night, but it it is a twenty four hour operation, right, Well, yeah, maybe that office is the only place he can go to sleep. Yeah, but there must other mechanics have got to be able to access that tool room. But they don't.

It would be like a hospital. They just be like, Hey, I guess sorry, man, I just got to get this tool. Well, what's interesting is you raise a good an interesting point because if it is twenty four hours round the clock, then I mean Louie's not there all the time. So who's the dispatcher when Louie's not there? We never find out.

Yube, No. Could be, anybody could be Ben Gretzky. Ben Kretzky is dead. He's the best union rep they had in that garage. So I go ahead, you were going to say something.

No, I no know? Gohe all right. So Louis reiterates to Alex that they better find him a place and why because he's already thrown his stuff out in the street. Now here's my first side note of this episode. Bottom alone.

When did throwing someone's stuff out the window or into the street become a thing? Because I've seen this in a bunch of movies and TV shows around this time. But I can't honestly say I've met someone who's ever had their stuff thrown out a window into the street, have you? Yeah? Tell me?

Oh, I know plenty of people that have had scenarios like this happen. They come home to find all of their stuff thrown out. I'm not one of them. Okay, that's good. But is it usually like they're they're you know, they're married, or maybe their boyfriend or girlfriend gets fed up and in a fit of passion throws it out the.

Window absolutely or just pops it on the lawn or in a driveway. Yeah. Like, it's not maybe as dramatic as the I mean, it's more like what you see here, Louis just hauled this stuff up to the curb. The dramatic throwings stuff out the window as a concoction of the screenwriter somewhere. I'm sure it happened in some silent movie, and then that was so hilarious that some other some kid grew up and wrote it into his movie, and on and on and on.

I don't know how much that happens. It takes a very dramatic sort of person to treat their significant other to a big theatrical show of tossing their shit out of a second story window. Yeah, because isten't we talked about DC CAB previously. Wasn't there a scene where Max Gale's wife in that movie throws his stuff out the window and frustration because she wants to kick him out. No, yeah, that was around this time.

Yeah, but see that at least was a comment on that trope, because she follows it up with a flamethrower. That's true. The real question this point in the episode to me is why have none of the Cabby's offered to take in life? Tony Banta is frequently on the road as a boxer. Bobby is always out and about and trying to hustle work and rehearsing and stuff.

He's got that sweet, sweet downstairs apartment Laca could live in the one of the closets we haven't seen. I bet there's a closet we haven't seen in that In that thing, you. Would think at least Alex would offer. I mean, Elaine, she's got enough going on with her kids, but I would be surprised. He's excused, but she would offer.

Yeah, she would offer, And I could see Alex saying, look, you can stay on my couch for you know, let's until you get on your feet. Let's give you a couple of weeks or whatever. But I but then I think the clue that we're looking for was in that line that I loved so much, which is that maybe Laka is does have a strange, bizarre side that for all of the cabbys patting him on the head as almost like a pet that they really like in a door, maybe there's some part of the cabby's that realizes that laka is kind of a creepy guy. That might be why they haven't jumped to his aid here, that's my guess, could be, could be. At that point, Loca walks in.

He's kind of awkwardly carrying his stuff back into the garage, and he's outraged that someone would do this. But on the bright side, Loacha is happy to report that he found an apartment. But just to be on the safe side, Elaine suggests that Alex go with him to check it out and make sure that Loaca is not getting taken advantage of, which which is good advice. Once again, Elaine, she's rejected the iron rand focus of her life and now she's back to caring about everybody again. No, because if she really was caring, she would have invited Loca to stay at her place.

I'm doubling down now, I'm backtracking onto your theory that Laca is so weird and they all kind of secretly. Now, I don't think that's true. Loca is a sweet, sweet man who is a bit of a weirdo, but he's in He poses no danger to anyone. He poses no danger. But this episode raises the notion that he might be a little more perverse than he has let on in the previous season and a quarter.

It's enough, it's food for thought. I'll leave it there. He's just a lecherous that's all. Perhaps We cut to Laca opening the door to a darkened apartment with Alex and he turns. The lights roll well of a fancy building.

We do and and the the I didn't note it here. But what's interesting is later we have another b roll of what's what I ostensibly should be the same apartment, but it's clearly two different b rolls at two. Different times, different building. Yeah yeah, yeah, so I noted that, but I didn't really call out this because the b roll in this portion is very dark. It's hard to make out what's what it actually is, but you're right.

It is a zoom in on presumably his apartment. Laka turns lights on and I am another awesome set is revealed. It's the swankiest eighties luxury apartment that anyone could imagine. It's got wall to wall carpeting. It has chairs that look simultaneously cool and uncomfortable.

The couch and the coffee table even have led lighting on the underside. Father Malone, there's more to come on this, but but what did you think of this, this apartment set. I like those sofas, I like the lighting, I like the I like the control panel. We're getting to that. We're getting to that.

Oh. Just in general, I did not like it, but it felt very much like a set. It did. But what I liked about it is it captured that the artificiality of those kinds of high end luxury apartments from the early the late seventies, early eighties, where like I said, everything carpeted and chrome and not necessarily comfortable. It wasn't built for comfort, it was built for status.

And that's what I like. That's what I think they captured well in this. I'm not suggesting that it was the most realistic environment, but it did the job well, and it was big and spacious and all sorts of little do dads. As we'll get into here. I think I think James Burrows didn't do himself any favors because the blinds that are covering the window are mirrored, which means until those get opened, he's limited the way he can shoot the scene.

But you would never notice it. I mean I only noticed it in the center second viewing of it. Yeah, I didn't really take note of that because, as I said, well, I've seen this episode spoiler alert, I've seen this episode a lot, and I'm always swept away, like I said, by the grandiosity of this apartment. And Alex, of course, once he sees all this, he's taken completely aback by this penthouse apartment. And it turns out that Laka misunderstood how much the rent was.

He tells Alex that it's three thousand dollars a month, which turns out that's all he has in his savings. So basically Loaca only has enough to stay in this beautiful apartment for one month. But here's the thing. Look even in truthout currency, three thousand dollars is a lot of money. But according to my favorite website, amortization dot org, in twenty twenty four money fatherm alone, how much do you think that is?

Three thousand dollars in nineteen eighty. Eleven, five hundred and eighty four dollars. You are so close, it's you're getting better at this. It's eleven thousand, nine hundred and ninety seven dollars and eighty nine cents, So it's basically twelve thousand dollars a month to stay in this apartment in today's currency. So that's a lot.

I mean, that's a lot of money. Now that live and made makes sense, hmm. Yeah. So Laka generously offers to have Alex come over anytime, you can even stay with him if he wants. And at that point, the maid that you just referenced emerges from some kind of ante chamber to ask if Laca needs anything, and this being an eighties sitcom even though it's one of the best, of course, Laka asks for a meek nick, which in Laca parlance means he wants to have sex with the maid, and she, of course begs off.

This will come back several times in the episode, but just put a pin in that again leaning into the perversity of Laca, I think a little bit much in this episode. We're not going to talk about Nancy Steen the Maid. Please do tell me about Nancy Steen. Writer of six episodes of The Love Boat. Nancy Steen.

That's fantastic. She's the Maid. Yeah, writer on Night Cored for two seasons. Nancy Stein. Oh, Caroline in the City, Webster, Webster, my friend.

That's enough to put her in the pantheon, right, there is. A producer on Webster forty nine episodes HP. She wrote an episode of Brock to Mister Belvidere. That's right. Yeah.

Not only did she write on all of those shows, but she was the story editor on The Police Squad for the entirety of that series. They suck her television series. And not only that, but as a as an actress, she had very small roles. But she was in The Incredible Hulk. Remember the show Bizarre.

John Biner showed Bizarre. That was Yeah, that was a late night show, fifty sixth show. She was on Mork and Mindy, she was on Happy Days. But more importantly, she's in Kentucky Fried movie The Zinc Oxide and You. She's the housewife in the industrial film where her kitchen falls apart because all the zinc oxide dis Yeah.

Everything starts falling apart and exp the faucets exploding and all that stuff. Oh wow, good job. I can't believe I guess I didn't dig deep enough. That's fantastic. So yeah, shout out to Nancy Stein.

She's good here and what a career. Beside this brief appearance on taxi as the nick nick made, she. Makes an impact. She's very, very good in this. Alex tries to explain to Laka that he's in over his head.

He's going to wipe his whole savings out on one month living in this apartment. And Alex goes over to the phone to call the hotel manager to get Laka out of this mess. While he's waiting to be connected, he keeps getting transferred to other people, and he's waiting. While this is all transpiring, Laca's wandering around the apartment saying goodbye to all of these fancy amenities, and then Laca starts flipping switches on. You made reference to this.

It's this fancy control panel that looks like the one on the front of Darth Vader's costume. It's just a bunch of random switches and lights and toggles and things, and reminded. Me of Richard Vicker's set up in There's Something Side. You have a segment of Creep Show that Leslie Nielsen he's got his house all tricked out. He would feel right at home at in this apartment.

I think, yeah, that's a good call. Laka flips a switch in this state of the art for the time stereo system emerges from behind this false painting and it starts playing lounge music. And then he hits another button, and the blinds that you just talked about being mirrored automatically open, revealing what's unfortunately a very fake looking New York skyline. Oh the Cycloa from Hell. It's so terrible, man.

It's really really bad. That's the worst part of this, unquestionably. And then the final button press causes this fully stalked bar to roll out from behind another hidden panel, Like the panel opens and this thing juts out, and that for some reason that in particular delights the studio audience most of all, like people are losing their minds over this bar that comes out of the wall. That's what causes Alex to stop in his tracks. He can't believe all this stuff that's popping out of walls and things.

Finally he gets connected to the manager and he does a one to eighty and says, we'll take the apartment, and we fade to black, and we fade back in to the apartment. Alex is lounging on I guess it's a couch. It's like a lounging couch. Kind of thing, like a fainting couch. That's the term that I was looking for.

He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt and he's sipping a cocktail. He looks very comfortable with himself, and Laka is behind him. He has his headphones plugged into the wall and he's singing along It's Staying Alive, but he's singing it in his native language and kind of bopping around the room and as he does it. And the maid, who I don't think ever gets a real name in this other than well someone someone in a minute will call her Inga, but I think that's just a joke that he throws out. But the maid comes out again and checks to see if Laca needs anything, and besides another request for Nick Nick, he's all set, he doesn't need anything.

She comes over to Alex, and Alex I have to say he's insufferable here because he says to her that his swizzle stick is a little limp and hands his drink over back to her to fill up. I think the good life is really going to Alex's head in this way. Drink is three quarters full and he's like, top this off for me. I don't want to. And what is he doing?

By the way, he's being a symfortable asshole, but like, what is he doing? He's just laying on that counch drinking all day, like letting the maid refill his drink over and over again. He doesn't seem like watching television or reading a book or listening to mute. Just sitting on a couch drinking. No, no, no, he's reading Better Homes and Gardens while he's drinking his drink.

You didn't see that. I guess not. Hey, he's got it. You can read the front of it, like he's got it open and folded back so you can read the front of it. Yeah, he's other words, he's basically staring off into space.

Pretty much, but he's not the only capy that's taking advantage of luck. Is good goodwill here. So the doorbell rings and then the maid goes over and she, I guess part of her duties is she announces, whoever's at the door? Do we have that anymore? Do domestics perform that function anymore?

I don't know any domestics, nor do I know anyone who would be wealthy enough to employ one. But if I did, I would let you know because I'm curious as hell. Yeah, So she announces that the Tony's at the door, and he takes a seat at one of those uncomfortable looking chairs that I talked about earlier. One benefit of these chairs, however, is these chairs don't allow him to sit in one of his weird positions. He can't sit reverse because it won't work the arms are too big.

So he sits down and the maid asks him if he needs anything, and after some back and forth, he asks for a couple of bruis and some peanuts, and he says that he's enjoying the sweet life with Alex there too. There's another doorbell ring, and a hand kind of comes out from behind the door and answer a note card, and the maid proceeds to introduce Bobby using this note card. It's like when they would introduce Muhammad Ali in the ring and they'd say the Master of Disaster or no sorry, Apollo Creed, the Master of Disaster, the Sultan of Swat, the Ayatola of rock and rolla or whatever. She reads this whole thing a man who needs no introduction. The best actor ever to grace the stage in New York.

It's Bobby Wheeler. And then he bops his way in. Oh you're too kind, You're too kind, and a nice touches. He snatches the note card back from her as if he's going to use it again. But it is a funny little bit that he's using the maid to sort of feed his ego.

I thought that was pretty funny. I loved it. It's like he's practicing for talk show appearances. Yeah, that's exactly it. He bops his way in and he asks Slaka if he can bring a date over then Tony of course.

Now we just had an episode where her romantic rivals, and I think there's still a little bit of that going on. He bought Tony objects. He says he's got a date coming over. Also, no, and. No, that's not what happens.

Bobby says to Loca, can I bring a girl here tonight? And Loca says yes, and then Tony protests by saying, I was thinking of bringing a girl here, Lada, who cares what you were thinking of doing. It's done. Quit crying about every fucking little thing that goes on in your life, Tony and Jesus Christ, we're not mind readers. We don't have microscopes on us.

Ah making fun of him. You're right, I guess I I glossed over that a little bit. I was thinking maybe asking my girlier, maybe if everything works out, like you can't just book the fucking room. No I did. I just did, Tony.

But he's intimating that. He says something to the effect of, and you know, we want to end up in the same room that you will. There's a wink wink kind of like it you're meant. It's implying that they both want to end up in the bedroom. The whole fucking setup is meant for fucking.

It's like going that room, we'll be out here, like I'm sure there are rooms we don't even get to see here. Oh there are. We're going to get to that in a minute. This apartment extends behind where that stereo is and where Alex is being very ghost and reading better homes and gardens. There's a whole set of rooms back there.

But regardless the bedroom, Tony, I'll be out on the fucking balcony with the skyline of New York spread out in front of me. They finally decide that they want to settle it by flipping a coin, which Tony wins, and then he crows about he's getting the game room, and then Bobby plays it off like, oh, well, I guess if you're in the game room, I guess I'll go in the master bedroom with my girl, so, you know, once again playing Tony's idiocy against himself winning. But then as I talked about, Elaine strolls in from another room behind where Alex is sitting. Apparently it's the jacuzzi. This place has a jacuzzi as well.

She's in a robe and she's got her hair and I wrapped up in a towel, and it looks it's clear that the whole group of Cabvis is just taking advantage of poor Loaca at this point. Although yeah, they are, but Laca doesn't seem to mind. Again, I think they're leaning into the perversity of you know that there's something off about Laca. And everyone is being really venal here. I guess, so poor Laca, Like we find out this is four days before the end of the month, so presumably they've been doing this for a full fucking month now.

Surely they know that their friend a Latka in four days is going to be back to living in the garage. No one is taking any steps to help him here this episode, I found it to be a bit tragic. Clearly, the amenities at this place are fucking fantastic. Elaine's kids are taking swimming lessons and learning French from fucking elevator operator and everyone's having a great time. And I would want to do that if I had a friend who lived there.

I had a friend who had an office on the Warner Brothers lot who had access to the commissary where you could just eat eat for free. Not only that, you could just walk up and there's not it wasn't like a buffet or anything. You just say, I don't know, could I have some mac and cheese? And they be like, yeah, sure, and they like, go make it. So yeah, I understand the will to mooch, but everybody latka or latka.

But in you. In your case, though, this friend of yours who had an office, it wasn't as if he got the the office through some like through some means that was over his head. Let's say he was hired to write for a movie and he was underqualified to do it, and you knew that this was eventually going to end badly for him. If that was the case, I would assume if he was your friend, that you would say to him, hey, man, you know, let's figure this out. Like you wouldn't just go, well fuck it.

If you've got this commissary, I don't give a shit about you and your problems, and you're losing your job in a week, I want to fucking eat some mac and cheese. Right, good luck with good luck with the third act. I'll be at the commissary, that's right. So another there's another ring of the doorbell, and the maid announces at this point that it's Louis de Palma, and Alex and Bobby tell her not to let him in, but he enters. He comes through this ancillary door.

He could go and guess doesn't end around her and comes in and he's wearing he's suspiciously wearing a trench coat buttoned up all the way. Once again, Chekhov's trench coat is in play. We will see that momentarily. Here. It felt like he was on his way to a Dick Tracy convention and went, oh, I think lock this apartments here and.

See, I thought he was on his way to the poor authority to flash some poor unsuspecting women, because he just looks He's got this rumpled fedora on his head, and he just looks odd. He doesn't look like somebody like a secret agent. He looks like somebody wearing a trench coat and nothing else under it. Kind Of yeah, I don't think it would be as nefarious as him flashing some poor unsuspecting person, but you know, he could definitely be frequenting one of the theaters in forty seconds straight. That's right.

Maybe he's catching Debbie does Dallas the three o'clock showing, and he's stopping over to see Laca. I don't know. Louis orders SuDS from the maid and Bobby says that they should just send him away because he's going to rain on their good time, but good natured Laca insists, despite the fact that Louis just threw all of his stuff a month prior on the street. Laca is so good hearted that he says, no, Louis will stay. Besides, Alex says, what negative thing could Louis possibly say about the best apartment in New York City?

And Louis, who's now sitting at the auto bar that's come out of the wall, says, yeah, he agrees this is a great apartment, but then he lowers the boom and he says, you're gonna feel like killing yourselves when you got to leave in four days. And to this, a laying kind of reaches up and hits one of those buttons on the Darth Vader control panel, and the bar with Louis sitting at it, rolls back into the wall with him still on it, and it closes up. And after they realize that the booze is like, they're prepared to nail up the wall and leave him in there, says, nah, booze is in there, so they open it back up and Louis slides back out. He's still drinking his beer at the time, and he says, all right, I can take a hint.

I'll leave. But on his way out, he says, by the way, you're out of scotch, and he pulls two whole bottles out of Chekhov's trench coat. That's clearly the only reason that he was wearing the trench coat is so that he could hide two bottles of scotch in it. I thought it was very lazy. But that this exchange contains my favorite line in the episode, which over tell me you don't have to get mechanical.

It is a good line. I forgive the lame. He just came to steal some booze in his thing, but but that line is so good. You don't have to get a mechanical. The set, by the way, I'm just gonna harp on it again here.

The set is terrible. It feels like there's a bunch of stage hands behind there, just sliding that thing in and out. None of it feels organic or actually mechanical, but. It all feels artificial. But to me that was part of the charm of it.

All of the stuff in there looks like you could have read about it in a Sharper image catalog from nineteen seventy eight or something. It's just it looks so artificial and overly expensive and extravagant. I liked it. I didn't mind, you know what. At the same time, Michael Mann was filming those exact things you're talking about, but he made it look beautiful and real.

Your mileage mayvary. I didn't really. I didn't find it that off putting. But I can see your point. At the same time, I can see your point.

Louis Leaves and the cabbys are feeling down now. They're talking about missing this place. Alex doesn't want to hear any of it. He says, they still have four whole days, as you said, to enjoy it. Yeah, four whole days to figure out something for Loca not you know what, we have four whole days.

We all love this place so much. I have an idea. Let's all chip in some money and we'll keep hold of this place. It'll be our place away from our houses in the cab and we'll have all these amenities to do. Let's do that.

No, let's not do that. Let's just suck it dry for the last four fucking days as hard as we can. My swizzle stick is a limp. Let's continue to live off of lacs Largesse and we'll deal with it in four days. Hence, but even Alex has to admit that he's going to miss the place, and Elaine agrees.

As you said. She talks about the fact that the kids are at the pool taking swimming lessons, they've got tennis lessons in the afternoon, and the elevator operators teaching them French. She's really bummed about this whole thing. Bobby has the bright idea of holding a rent party where you basically, I mean, I've never heard of this before or after this. I can only assume this is an invention of the writers.

But basically, you hold a singles party and you charge like five or ten bucks ahead, and in an idea straight out of an eighties sex comedy, Elane suggests that they loop in passengers looking for a good time, which I think sounds nefarious just on the face of it, like they're going to inveigle people from out of town who want a good time to come to this swankie pad. Awesome, I think they're just taking them to a whorehouse. That's what every one of these these potential customers are going to think. We fade back into the apartment now it's in the evening. Full I do know about rent parties.

They didn't invent the idea of a rent party, but they certainly I think concocted this absolute bullshit sitcom nonsense of we're going to turn it into a singles party like a speed dating sor said lock this apartment to save the apartment. The hell's going on here? All of a sudden, it. Seemed a little far fetched, but so then we fade back into the apartment. It's nighttime now, and it's now full of dudes with mustaches and quaffed hair.

They look like they just stepped out of a Just for Men commercial. The camera kind of pans around and you can see and they're talking. I think Tony and Bobby are commiserating they couldn't find any women to join the party, so it's just a bunch of dudes walking around awkwardly as music's playing. And then one guy in particular starts to give Alex the business about how the party stinks, and he threatens to demand his money back if no women show up soon. And who is that disgruntled partygoer.

It's Blue Thunders and Blue Thunders Own. Dick bodkis absolutely Pro Football Hall of Famer. Following his retirement from the NFL, he became a real familiar face on TV. He was in the famous Miller Lite Tastes Great Less filling commercials, mister. Boot because and I have a problem.

I do not appreciate American football. And I don't appreciate rugby. However, there is one thing we both appreciate. Light beer from Miller. Light contains a third less calories than their regularly and it's also.

But our favorite thing is the way it tastes. I'd write, Dickie Boyd, I'll never like you football, but I do love your light beer. Mike, I'll never like rugby, but I do love those cute bill shorts. Like beer from Miller. Everything you always wanted in a beer unless.

As well as appearing in scores of TV shows you said as you said. He was in Blue Thunder, he was in Matt Houston Growing Pains. He was even in the movie Johnny Dangerously alongside other Taxi alums like Danny DeVito and Mary lu Henner. So there you go. Yeah, So anyway, Dick Bukiss is stirring up enough hubbub that the rest of the party goers start to unite behind his cause, and Alex is left to counter.

Alex is left to try and defuse the situation. He starts to give him this drivel that they didn't they don't need women to have fun, you know, when they were kids, they didn't need women to eat. He's like, let's just let's hang out like guys, and then his monologue fall completely on deaf ears and dick Buckus and the rest of the guys want their money back, and it's starting to get it's starting to look like it could get a little violent, and just then Elaine walks in with some party supplies, like a grocery bag full of stuff, and then all of the guys immediately shut up, all of the other men in the room, and they start smiling at her. It's a very creepy tableau. I found it.

Creepy, genuinely frightening, and it was Elaine registers it. You can see the fear on her face because yeah, what does she wandered into here? But to make things worse, Bobby goes over to her and says that she's the only one who can get them out of this, and can she mingle a little bit? And like you said, she sells this. She says to herself, well, what's wrong with mingling a little bit?

That can't hurt. So she starts to mix in with the crowd, and she suggests that they put on some music, and Tony puts on the most generic funk music you've ever heard. It's just source music, completely like off of a library album probably, and she asks if anyone wants to dance, and of course, like a pack of wolves, everyone starts to descend on her, and it this is it gets a little scary, I have to say. Quick thinking Bobby poists her up on the coffee table, which is also I feel bad for Lane because now she's it's like she's like a like a go go dancer dancing for these men like a go go dancer. Oh my god, it's so gross.

And she's wearing one of these kerchief things like as a top, yea like shawl. Yeah, it's gross anyway, but at least it's something. But like once she peels that off, it becomes a full on burlesque like that. Wouldn't be The word burlesque implies that there's some art art to it, and there's some taste involved. But what happens is Alex again, Alex is not the Alex that we know and love.

He asks. He says that they're going to watch her dance to all the other guys, and she starts to awkwardly do this two step on the table, as you said, with this shawl around her her shoulders, and that doesn't satisfy the crowd at all. So then Alex does this weird thing where he catches her eye and rolls his shoulders forward, basically giving her the signal like, hey, let's show a little bit of skin, like make it a little more sexy, right, uh. Mp it up here, baby, this crowd is gonna tear me apart. Yeah and that, and so she steps up her dancing a little bit, but it still isn't enough to satisfy these these men.

They start to advance on Alex again, and in desperation, Alex calls to her and then she says something like look over here, and like you said, she rips off this shawl and she starts giving these guys a real show. I mean, she is like dancing like it's like a like strip club dancing Basically she's bouncing up and down, not twirking, but I guess kind of she's bumping in the old she is and she's really going I mean, she's a great dancer anyway, Mary leuhnna, So she's going for it. And then the men, of course can't help themselves, and for a nervous moment, it looks like she's going to be swallowed up by this throng of men advancing on her. But in a kind of a nicely coordinated bit of comedy, she makes this desperate dive off the table and Tony and Bobby catch her in mid dive and run her out of the apartment and it's great, yeah, And they just roll out with her holding her up.

And at this point there's nothing more to be done. Alex is forced to give everyone refunds and the party is effectively over. At that point, we fade back in to the same apartment as everyone is sulking about losing the apartment now here. Here's another side note. Tony found a way to sit weirdly in one of those chairs.

Did you notice what he's doing. It's not those uncomfortable large couch chairs, but they're chairs that have this very they almost look like seashells in the back, kind of sweeping into the seat. He has taken that chair and laid it ninety degrees on the floor, so effectively, the back of the chair is now the seat and the seat is now the back. So he's moving. He's knocked this chair over and he's sitting on what amounts to the back of the chair.

I don't know how he did it, but he managed to figure out a way. Uh, he's resourceful that Tony Loka says that Louis was right, they're all losers, but Alex doesn't want to hear that. Alex says that, and Alex comes back down to earth a little bit here. Alex says that no one with a friend like Loaca can be called a loser, and they all thank Loka for letting them use the apartment, and Elaine resolves to find the new apartment with Loaca starting tomorrow. Laca is still looking a little sad and Elaine asks him about it, and he has this whole speech where Laka says for him to live in this apartment, it was like a miracle.

And someday when he has no food and he's depressed, he's going to think about this month and become even more depressed. It's like you think that he's going to say, like, and I'll feel better because I had this wonderful apartment, But now it's just going to make him feel worse that he had this apartment and he lost it. Alex then suggests that to everybody else that they leave and let Laca spend the final night alone in his apartment. After they leave, in a final button to the scene, the maid comes out and sees Loca saying goodbye to all these amenities. She takes pity on Loaca finally and finally agrees to do nick Nick and a very appreciative Loka then takes her into the bedroom and weird.

It's a very weird episode. So that that is the apartment. Now, as is our custom, we're going to talk about yellow lights. What doesn't all light mean? Just a reminder, we're scoring this from one to five yellow lights.

One is the worst taxi episode. Five is the best taxi episode and also our custom following Malone, I'm going to throw it to you, how many yellow lights do you give? The apartment? The third act is so bad, I'm going to give it two yellow lights. Hmm, yeah, two.

I'm a big wasn't a big fan of this one. I can't argue with that. I will say that I gave it three yellow lights, which I realize. Look, I can see all of those points, and as we're talking about the episode, I'm realizing again how absurd it all is and how out of character a lot of this is and everything else, and it's unquestionably it's a very silly premise. But for me, it's always great to see the cast all together in the plot and that's what we get here.

This is almost like a single location. It really is a single location for pretty much the whole episode. They with the exception of the garage piece at the beginning, you we never leave the apartment and there's yeah, there's not much Louis and there's absolutely no Reverend Jim, which is really kind of a shame. But despite all the negatives this is for I can't fully explain why this is one of my most rewatched episodes. This for me, I don't know.

There there's something comforting about watching this and how silly it is and how goofy it is, and I like the little touches with Laka and we see beyond under the persona of the cute sort of laka. I don't know, I just I like it, but I also recognize that it's not one of the strongest stories, and it's not one of the strongest uh you know, episodes overall, but I do rewatch it. So that's why I'm giving it three yellow lights. So two yellow lights from Father Malone, three yellow lights from myself. That will do it for this episode of night mister Walters, father alone.

Where can the folks find you when you're not clocked into the garage. You can find me a weirding way media groups and place you can find this fine show. You can hear my show midnight viewing over there. It is a bi weekly show. We have new episodes every Monday and Friday.

That's I'm involved with other stuff, but that's keeping me busy. Man, you are hugely busy. And you also have a Patreon, do you not? Oh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Father Malone, So patreon dot com slash father Malone.

If you want to throw in a buck or subscribe to the shows, you get all the shows early and they're all commercial free and you get special Patreon bonus episodes. Yeah, you can find me all there, go do all that. Check it out. Father Malone is one of the busiest podcasters that I know. I'm not just saying this because he's my best friend, but he works extremely hard.

He provides a ton of content, and his Patreon deserves a look, so please check it out. As for myself, I'm also happy to be part of the weirding Way Media network. In addition to this fine podcast, you can also hear me occasionally on the Culture Cast with Chris Dashu and you can also hear me over on the Dark Destinations podcast, which is another of Follow Malone's fine creative efforts. If you like great storytelling radio drama, please check it out. Otherwise, I have a band campsite hpmusicplace dot bandcamp dot com.

You can check that out. But once again, thank you for listening. This will do it for this episode. Please feel free to subscribe to this podcast, write a review or rate us. We'd love to hear from you.

So for myself and follow alone, thanks again and we will see you guys next time. I guess the Walters