Episode 70 - Like Father, Like Son

Weird media. Nike is see that guy with it now, he's an actor. I'm a driver. I'm the only camp driver in his place. Good evening and welcome tonight, mister Walters a taxi podcast.

I'm HP, your co host and with me as always is my co host, Father Malone, Father Malone, Hawaii. This evening. I'm good. I was so happy spend some time with one of the cast members of Caveman. Good Call.

We're talking Taxi Season four, episode six, Like Fatherlike Son. This it's written by David Lloyd and directed by James Burrows. Reminder, we're doing these shows in broadcast order and not in order. Filming this episode, we begin in the garage father alone. Tony comes in.

He's carrying a letter and luck. Let me, let me, let me jump in here, HP, let me start this episode if I might, because sure, this is so sitcom trophy. He's in the background. He opens an end LB, he goes, oh why me, and I thought, oh, jury duty. Huh, that's that's one I wrote down.

This is the universal sitcom sign for jury duty. Because he comes in, he's got the letter and he's like, oh, why, here's the thing. Let me back up. For a minute here, Uh, father malone, have you ever served on a jury? I have been called to and I have you know, responded, then I would definitely come.

And then the morning that I was supposed to go, I received a phone call telling me that I would not be The case wasn't going forward, so I was relieved of duty. Sure. Sure, I've been called several times and once I even had to serve on a jury over two days. And I will tell you this, Yes, it's an interruption in your daily life. Yeah, you might have to miss a couple of days of work or whatever.

But I found it very interesting because it's something that you don't really get to do all that off and then sometimes maybe you get lucky and you get an interesting case. The case I had wasn't incredibly interesting, but it was, you know, it is. There's something to be said for seeing the the justice system in action, being a part of it. So I don't. I don't when when I see, you know, the sitcom characters bemoaning their bad luck because they have to go to jury du They're like, what the fuck, dude, Like, that's the that's a foundational piece of this country.

I don't care if you don't want to do it. Just do it. It's you, it's your civic duty to do that. I had a friend who threw away every jury summons he received, and I said, you can get in trouble for doing that, And he said, what do you mean, Like they can't prove I received that, And he was right. I thought you were going to say you got arrested or something.

He's absolutely right, because at the time it was just by mail. You know, they can say we sent it to you, Like, how else were you going to know other than receiving it in the mail. And if you didn't receive it, then how can you be culpable? I mean, clearly he was just throwing them away, but he had a point. That's fine for him, but I for me, I always find it interesting to go and try to serve on a jury.

The whole process fascinates me. So I can't really see where Tony's coming from here. Sure enough, we're right. He's complaining about jury duty and the phone rings in the garage. Jim is nearby.

He wakes up. He's woken up. Jim is woken up. He's sitting there. How did Dad get the fucking payphone number?

Well, no, he looked it up in the yellow Pages. I don't, and he would have gotten the cage, because if you want to get a cab, you're not calling the goddamn payphone, You're calling Sunshine Cab. This look, I know this is just a convenient thing, and I keep bringing it up because it bothers me every time. But like anyway I hear you. I sorry with that particular harangue because I'm sure it's going to continue on into season five.

Well, are you suggesting that the phone on the concrete pillar is unlisted? No, I'm not suggesting that, but I don't think he would. Look, how do you look up the payphone at Sunshine Cap wouldn't you just look up Sunshine Cab and call. The short answer on that is, if you remember we met, what we're going to find out is that it's Alex's father looking for him. Now we remember, back in I think it was season two, Alex's father had a health scare and Alex went to see him in the hospital.

My guess is, to answer your questions, not a very funny response, but probably at that point Alex might have said, in a fit of sympathy, might have said looked at. If you ever have a problem, call this number. Here's where I can be reached. Okay, in this case there's some continuity, but ordinarily I'm just like, what are they doing? True?

So Jim picks up the phone and answers it. Jim tells Alex it's for him, and Alex is walking towards the pillar. As he's walking, he asks Jim who it is, and Jim says it's your father. At that point, Alex does an immediate about face around. No, No, don't want.

To No, I'll be turning around. Jim says, your father says it's important. You need to talk to him. Alex says that they've only talked once in the last twenty years, why is he calling now? And that one time was, as I mentioned, the previous episode a few seasons ago where they saw each other for the first time in twenty years.

So it's a lot of I won't do it, We're gonna do it, You do it, Get the phone. No, I won't get the phone. And then Elaine, with her fucking hypnotically horrible sweater dress, convinces him to get to take the phone. It's the worst look she's ever had. I cannot abide a sweater dress.

Oh, I don't know. I think she's had some worse looks than this. I'm not this. Oh no, you know what I can understand, like a knitted dress thing, but with form, this fucking it's like you're just you're wearing a sweater and then somebody came and just started knitting while you were asleep, and they just made it an extra two or three feet long. It's absurd.

It is very ill fitting, I'll give you that. But the sack like a like a like a. Knit a sack bit of yarn. It's a awful you've brought up in the past. Though there are certain colors that you think should not be used.

Red. If it were red, it would be the most hillacious outfit in television history. At least it's not that it's just some drab like a gray all right. I didn't think it was as bad as it's gotten, but I will grant you that it's not her most flattering look. Jesus Christ.

Later on in this episode, she joins the Fantastic Four. So I don't know what the hell is happening. A lot of piping, and that that outfit so you're right. A Lane drags Alex bodily over to the phone and then Alex starts talking. Louis sidles over to the rest of the cabbies and asks what's going on in the garage?

What's this, what's the scuttle butt, what's the what's the gossip? And they all play coy except Jim, who spills the beans about Alex's call and Tony's jury duty, and of course Louis Mock's dumb dumbeh Wait. Wait, now here's my favorite part of the episode, honestly, hb is that is that he tells He's like, look, Alex is talking to his dad, Louis and his jury duty, and Alene looks at him like, how dare you betray us? And he's just like what, who cares? And I totally agree with him.

Who gives a shit? Just make it go away. This has happened. That's happened, and take your fucking massive rumor rumor mill and go back to the fucking cage. Lluela Parsons, Yeah, I mean, but this this thing with Louis knowing about Alex and his father, that's gonna come back.

We're going to see that come back in this episode. That was a reference to our seventy for our seventy year old listenersson, Louella parsons, Yeah, kudos to you. Every day is a gift, isn't it. Just then, Alex comes off the phone and tells everybody that his father wants to take him out to lunch. The father has said to Alex, look, we've been strangers for so long, it's time that we became friends.

And the father is on his way over to the garage. Jim is confused about all that he's saying. Alex reminds him that his father walked down on their family, and he's only seen his father the one time he was in the hospital a couple of seasons ago. Other than that, he's had no contact with his father. That's when we met Alex's sister and she like fucking got on him and like, you got to go fucking talk to dad, you prick.

Clearly, after this brief moment of concern for his father, they haven't seen each other again in the next ensuing two or three years since then. So you know what, I would go for a free lunch. Alex is very stung by this whole thing, and I can't blame him. If the father truly walked down on this family didn't provide them any any support financially or anything else, I would hold a grudge too if I were Alex. But it felt like in that previous episode in the hospital that maybe he had had a breakthrough in how he views his father and maybe he wised up.

But clearly that's not the case. Elaine wonders why Alex's father is in town, and Alex sheepishly admits to her that he's been living in New York since nineteen seventy four, and Elaine is aghast, like he's been here this whole time, and you've never taken the time to go see him or whatever. Alex tells the Cabby's look, my father's always been a ladies man. Every woman is a challenge to him. So he's just he's kind of bad news.

And Elaine says, I he's probably just a sweet old man now. Just then Alex spies him coming in and he dashes away to the bench near the coffee machine, and then in walks Alex's father, Joe, once again played by Jack Gill. Also, somebody is probably familiar to people who know Lluela Parsons probably the same group of people. The then diagram on the Loela Parsons and Jack Guildford is probably a match in the middle. They're followed alone.

So I love Jack Guilford. Jack Guildford is Look, if you're gonna pick somebody who you adore, despite the fact that he is somebody who left his family and is really not a nice guy for doing these things, You're gonna pick Jack Guildford. The man could probably he could charm the pants off of anybody. He seems like such a gentle, sweet guy. He's the last person I would have expected to be Alex's father, but he sometow seems completely appropriate for it.

They obviously have more to do in this episode than they did in the previous The previous one, it was just kind of a surprise reveal and they have a nice moment together, but in this one they have several scenes together and a lot of dialogue together. So I agree with you like by the end of it, he seems he was wholly appropriate as Alex's father for a variety of reasons. And he's in one of my favorite movies from nineteen seventy one and it inspired the name of one of my favorite bands of all time. They might be Giants with George C. Scott and Jamie Woodward, where she is a psychiatry.

She's a psychiatrist named her last name is Watson, and one of her patients comes in. It's George she Scott. He believes he's Sherlock Holmes, and then they go off and have adventures together. And Jack Guildford is George Scott's character's best friend and they have some adventures as well. Anyway, they might be Giants.

Everybody check that one out. What a great piece of trivia. Jack Guildford is marvelous. I mean, he's such a I can't say I'm not familiar with a lot of what he's done is oover, but you know, he's just he seems like such a sweet guy. If you're gonna have anybody that you want to have, you want to root for.

Despite the fact that he's kind of a jerk, Jack Guildford's your guy. There's no way you can hate the guy. And that plays into this episode as we'll see. So Alex and Joe have an awkward hello. Alex kind of introduces him to the rest of the cabbies, As we cut to Marios, Alex and Joe are there.

They're sitting at a table. Why would they go to Marios to eat? Alex hates it there to eat well. And we come to find out that Joe actually has a bit of money from his second wife, so it's not as if he couldn't afford to take Alex somewhere nice and fancy. You know what.

In fact, yeah, it's his his character is initiating this thing, and he says, let's go out to eat. Wouldn't he go to some fancy place, or at least someplace with the you know menus that aren't like under fucking lamination? He would. But I could also see Alex being protective and saying, look, if we're gonna go eat, we're gonna do it on my turf, Like I want to be on solid ground when I'm dealing with you, Joe. So let's go across the street to the pizza place because fucking Marios is terrible.

Yeah, well, I could see him, But also I could also see Alex paying lip service and going, yeah, let's see, but he'll he'll be quick. I'm not that far from the garage, and I can get it over with so the. Real reason is because they need Louis to be there too. This is true because Louie couldn't afford to go to a fancy restaurant that they could probably go to. So they're they're they're commiserating awkwardly during this lunch, But Joe cops to how wrong it was to cheat on Alex's mother and leave the family.

But he does say that he was smart enough to realize that he'd be a bad influence on the kids and leaving was probably the best thing that he could do, which is a weird way to rationalize the whole thing. But he's probably not entirely wrong that maybe in his own in his mind, he was sparing the kids from being unduly influenced by by a scoundrel. If you will, it doesn't make it right. I'm not suggesting. No, it's total bullshit, but yeah.

He's at a minimum, he's rationalizing it to himself in a way. Joe says that, look, he's not saying that Alex and he have to be best buddies or even close, but can't they just be two guys that get along with each other? And this kind of breaks away a little bit at Alex's walls, and he reluctantly agrees to give it a shot with Joe. Let me say this about Joe Rieger. He definitely knows who he is and he's not going to be anything but and that's admirable.

Yeah. I mean, he's a shit of a human being, obviously as a father and probably a terrible partner, but he is who he is he is. And I think part of that is the fact that he's presumably in his seventies at this point. I think I think actually Jack Guilford was in his early seventies and during this episode, so there's an element of probably. I mean, I don't think he I don't think he would be any much different when he was a younger man.

But I think when you reach a certain age, you know, you're like, I'm not going to change anyway. What am I going to change for him? I'm in my seventies, I am who I am and whatever. You know, it's just age gives you that luxury, and I think that's part of it too. So Joe asks Alex why he didn't remarry after he divorced his wife, and Alex says, it's been hard finding a woman that he's interested in.

He says he wants someone who looks at the world and doesn't take it too seriously, and someone who's not afraid to ask for what she wants. And that just at that point, a woman at the next table asks alex for a newspaper. She says she wants to read the Doonesbury comic on Alexander Haig. So this is ticking all the boxes. Wow in fine comedic fashion.

Now the woman at the next table. Hey, what year is it? By the way Dunsbury and Alexander Haig. This immediately dates the episode. It's eighty one, I think, or eighty two eighty one clearly yeah.

The woman who is now part of this episode is played by an actress named Barbara Babcock, which I think we've all seen her in a million things. She's a veteran of tons of movies and TV shows. Most notably she was in Hill Street Blues. I think she won an Emmy for Hill Street Blues. In fact, personally I always found her sort of matronly, not not really someone I would consider like a sexy woman.

She's sort of in the same category as Holland Taylor from Bosom Buddies, do you remember who that is? Oh? Yeah, but I thought holland Tael was extremely sexy. Honestly, did you really? Did you?

I sort of put them. They felt like maybe the same age range, the same, the contemporaries of each other. So I get the I get the type you're talking about, but I just happened to be turned on by. Okay, tell you what Joe was seeing and then Alex is not immediately seeing is that clearly this woman is perfect for him? So, like I said, Joe watches this play out and and uh, he points out to Alex that she's she fits his description of the perfect woman.

And he gets up and starts talking to the woman and tells her that Alex just described the perfect woman and he described you to a team we're already seeing. Joe has this incredible charm and this confidence that he can just get up and talk to this woman with with with no context at all. See, this is why you would tolerate him, because he's that guy, and you want to be with that guy. Sometimes he's the epitome of charm, you know, for for a lot of reasons, he just seems like such a sweet, charming old man. So he gets her name.

Her name is Karen, and essentially Joe sets the two of them up, Alex and Karen out on a date tomorrow night. By the way, as this is all transpiring, Louis is observing all of this silently from the bar. The camera makes this point, This. Is how you get Louis out of his cage and involved in an episode. This is what his purpose is.

I don't need to feel bad for him. I need him to be as mean as he can be. Yes within bounds though, Oh yeah, not criminal, not criminal, just a bad you know, an annoying Assholely so, he's watching all this happen, and Alex says, is his goodbye to Tommy TJ Castronova. Again, TJ Canova got time on his hands. He says by to Karen and he leaves.

But meanwhile, after he leaves, Joe can't help himself. Clearly, he goes over to Karen and introduces himself to her, never by the way, mentioning that he's Alex's fock. He gives her a fake name. He says, like, I'm Joe McGuinty. He didn't he did he?

I didn't think he yes, Oh, I thought he just said I'm Joe. No, he gave her a false last name. Oh, I must that's the joke. There was a joke at that, but like there was an audience laughing moment, audience, I'm good with English fire bed. So Joe ingratiates himself with to Karen and he invites her to some kind of political comedy symposium that features Art Buckwald, and it's annier.

It sounds like a fucking moot man. I would go remember Art Buckwaald. I liked Art Buckwall. He was finn. Remember he sued Eddie Murph and he won.

Oh for coming to America. That's right, because he wrote the story that it was based on. Right, he wrote a treatment called Queen for a Day. Ah. But these are all Art buck Wall, Jules Sweiffer, These are all very contemporary references that are under thirty five.

Listeners are just going to eat up completely. Right, Jules Sneifer just coming off the huge success of his screenplay for Popeye? Did he write the screenplay for Popeye? Really? He did?

Actually? Oh, I didn't know that Karen is reluctant to go on this date with Joe because she says that you know, didn't you just make a date with me and your friend, and Joe says, look, this isn't really a date, and Alex isn't really my friend because I've only seen him twice in the last twenty years, again neglecting to mention the fact that he's Alex's father. These are lies by omission. Yeah, he's he He's a scumbag, but a lovable one. And again Louis is still observing all of this.

Now he's at a table, and I think he has a menu over his face to hide. And great here he's enjoying this so much. It's so great because you get a great payoff with Louis. So Joe escorts Karen out of Marios and Louis at this point he can't contain his glee at the situation. As we as we fade the commercial, Now we fade, we cut back to the garage, and we fade back in as Tony walks in and Lane wonders why Tony isn't that jury duty, And Tony says he kept getting turned down by the lawyers.

Apparently dumb. Dumb Tony answered the question of length of residence with about thirty feet. I mean, if you think of his apartment that's about thirty feet that's true. Is do you think that that kid Brian is still living with Tony at this point? Remember they they were gonna live together.

I think the car. Maybe maybe Tony like threw one punch too many and didn't know. I think they were sparring one night. Oh wake up kid, Wake up, Brian, Wake up. I mean you gotta get over here and help me transport a body.

Don't say that on the phone. So suddenly Wheeler is complicit in a murder. That's where this episode should have gone. Maybe that's why Wheeler is not around anymore. Maybe he just he can't live with the guilt, so he avoids the garage entirely.

Who knows or Tony took care of him, He took no loose ends a conspiracy of one. Now, yeah, you know that. Well that but that would imply that well, actually that I could see Tony doing that, because that's a very simple way of That's like a simple plan, right, cutting all the loose ends, got to kill the brother. Yeah, so uh. Anyhow, Alex comes bopping at this point, he's whistling, he seems to be happy.

He gives Louis his his take for the night or whatever. Miss Mango on my shoulder? Remember that? No? What's that from from the movie Splash with Tom Hanks when after his first night with Daryl Hannah, he comes back to the fruit market and he's singing Zippity Dude but with foot lyrics.

Ah? Okay, I thought I thought you were making reference to another taxi episode with Mango. Interesting? Remember Mango? Chris Catan played Mango.

Can one forget Mango? The most annoying character of all time? Not offensive at all? Not? No, no, certainly, not definitely not.

Elaine explains to Tony, because he's been away for a couple of days, that Alex has a new girlfriend, and she gives Tony the low down. As a smiling Alex joins him at the card table. Elaine says, you've been seeing a lot of Karen lately, and Alex replies, yeah, I guess I have been monopolizing her. This sends Louis into a laughing fit in the garage. He answer, laughter, it's very theatrical.

Uh. Alex asks Louis if this has anything to do with with Karen, and then Louie Is said into further convulsions of laughter. Alex keeps pressing him on it. But but Louis says, look, this is special riga. He says, it can't just be blurted out.

This is like a fine wine. He's like, first you uncork it. Oh, here we go, it's Marcel marso shit. He does this miming. He's like, you uncork it, you let it breathe, and you let it you you pour it, then you taste it.

And every every step that he's describing, he's mining it with his hands, like like uncorking the thing. Look, look, look, look it's so But I love it because that would be the comparison that I would have drawn from Louise's intent with this whole thing, Like I could see him very easily comparing this to a fire something. You don't want to rush this. Louis doesn't want to rush the disclosure of what's happening with Joe. He wants to savor it like a fine wine.

So Louis wonders to Alex kind of coyly, I if he's exclusive to Karen or if Karen is dating other guys, And Alex tries to be like, well, guess what she's seeing other guys and I'm okay with it, Louie, and Elaine asks Louis at this point, just come out with it. What do you what are you getting at Louis. Louis finally says, look, it takes some kind of guy to share a woman with his own father. And Louis says he was there, he saw the two of them leave Marios together. He's this is the purest expression of glee that Louis could ever ever convey.

He's just he loves this. Alex, by comparison, gets very stoic and he leaves the garage as we cut to the same b role that we've seen in the past of Alex walking into Marios. But he's got the barracuda, the white barracouta jacket. It's the same one from the Angela episode. Only they're banking on the fact that you couldn't quite tell that he's not wearing his usual slouch sweater as he walks in.

But I can see that it's an incongruity in the film. Yeah, but you know what, we know b role now. We know it all because they've used it so often that I don't think even a casual like you watch and it's syndicated every single day, You're probably not going to notice. Yeah, but to be fair, no one as they're filming this is thinking to themselves, some asshole is going to be watching this on their computer and can go frame by frame to tell what I'm wearing or what they're wearing. They just figured, like, look, if this is just a quick, one pass thing on a TV set in nineteen eighty two, no one's going to notice these little inconsistencies.

So it's only really with the advent of HD and all of that stuff that some of this stuff comes to light. So I love when they released a movie in HD, all the screenshots that start showing up in social media, where like now you can see the the stuntmen like super close up and it's like, oh my god, like, how did this fool anybody? It is amazing. One of the worst examples of that, And this wasn't even an HD thing. I remember when I was watching Peewee's Big Adventure for the first time on cable.

Let's say it was an HBO or whatever. Oh no, no, this is yeah, this is yeah. The mat on the top and the bottom was yeah. When they transferred that to video, they didn't matt it correctly. So yeah, that's because when you saw it in the theater, you did not see the chain coming up through the bottom, yeah, of the basket.

It was the scene people who don't know the movie by hard. It's Pee Wee's locking up his beloved bicycle and he's pulling this endless chain clown style from one of the saddle bags. And on TV they didn't properly matt the scene, so you can see that there's a there's an opening in the bottom of the saddle bag where they're just feeding this chain. So it completely ruined the illusion. I'm sure, like you said, if I was in the theater would I wouldn't have thought twice about it.

But it was a little nice and they've corrected it since when they put it out on you know, DVD and yeah, Blu ray and such. We cut inside Marios Karen's at a table as Alex walks in. Alex confronts Karen about dating his father and Karen scoffs at the suggestion, which relieves Alex immediately, but Karen knows what happened. She's been seeing Joe, his friend from the other night, Alex's friend from the other night, and someone must have mistook Joe for Alex's father, and this immediately sends Alex into a tailspin as he. Yeah, me and my mother.

Yeah. They say he makes a joke about it, and he says, yeah, Joe is my father, and rightfully so. Karen is completely aghast at this turn of events. You know, she's being deceived, basically deceived from Joe. Another mark's worse than that, because she fucked him.

So she's been having sex with father and son. Here and and they they don't come out and say that she's been having sex, but there's some delicate way that Alex has of saying like, well, I guess how far did you go with him? And she's like I went pretty far. And it's like, oh man, it's just awful. You know, I feel for her because you know, she's the only innocent in this whole thing.

I mean, she doesn't know who who Joe was or is so shame on Joe for being such a such a prick, you. Know, yeah, man, this is not. It's very un this is this is something that I could see Louis doing, but Louie doesn't have the charm to pull it off. Alex, and here's Alex says, Oh, it's not that bad. Uh, you know, we it's a good thing.

We nipped it in the bud for anything before anything embarrassing takes place. And then Karen's reaction and is, yeah, she did go there. It is that embarrassing because without saying it, she's implying back to Alex that yeah, I fucked your dad basically, And Karen, again, like I said, is rightfully upset about Joe and the fact that he lied about not about being Alex's father, and Alex asks one thing. He says, what is it about Joe? What makes him irresistible?

And he because he admits, even though I hated Joe, he was always in awe of Joe's prowess with women. And Karen's response is he makes me laugh. She says, he imitates soup Pee soup. She says, but the main thing, and that sort of confuses Alex and we'll see that wrapped up in a moment. But Karen says, the main thing about Joe is that Joe loves women, and Alex says, look, I love too, What are you talking about?

But no, you don't. But but but Karen says, Look, Joe really loves women, he says, she says, like he swooned at the way that she put on an ear ring or something like. He is somebody who is clearly enamored of the female form and just loves women in any shape, size, whatever. He just loves women, the idea of women. Karen says that Joe is expecting her for dinner, and she's gonna go call him and give him a piece of her mind.

But then Alex says, no, no, I'm going to go in person and I'll confront Joe and don't worry about it. So then we I like this. See we cut to Joe's swanky apartment. It is really it is like a luxury apartment. I wrote down here there's a fucking giant fish tank in the middle of the apartment.

I'm like that, that's crazy set decoration. Father baloge it it's a working fish tank. What did you think of that? I thought there was no fish in it, and then I think they made a joke to cover up the fact. Well yeah, but it is impressive that it's there.

The scent design here is fantastic. They've been lacking for a long long time. Whereas in those first two seasons it was just like every fucking episode had some incredible second location would go to at least they've done something here. Finally, Yeah, this feels like a real lived in apartment because there's there's a fish tank, there's a couch, there's a little like dinner nook off to the side where he's Joe is setting the table for dinner for two. So it felt, you know, good, They're they're kind of back the set decorators are back to their winning ways.

I like that. So Joe answers the door, and then Alex barges in, yelling about how despicle he was, how Joe lied. But then as he's in the mid rant, he catches himself and Alex exclaims this place is gorgeous, Like he can't help himself. He's like, what what you know? What is this is amazing?

Good beat. Yeah, and then this is my favorite scene in the whole show. This, the two of them interacting with one another is gold because they're both such professionals and it's effortless. So Joe says to Alex, yeah, his second wife left him a bundle. She was a doctor, So that's where he gets all this money to own this swanky pad, and then Alex, to your point, he notices that there's no fish in the fish tank.

And that's where Joe explains. He said, he always wanted a fish tank, but the fish are such a bother. Which I can see that. I know what you're saying. They didn't want to put fish in it because it's too onerous for like just a set decoration detail.

But I could see Joe being like, I like the idea of a fish tank, I just didn't want to deal with the fish. I can totally get behind it, but I do think he would have done something else with it, you know what I mean, Like you would have put like a sunken galleon or something, or like, you know, a submarine. It's not don't I wouldn't have just been a tank of water, you know. Like well, I like the fish tank, but I don't like them fish. Sure, like like one of those treasure chests that opens and.

Clothes man all that cool shit, you know, like a diver, like a little you know, octopus in a cave. I grew up with a fish tank in my room, father balloone, and I never really saw the point to be honest, I fish aren't really my type of pet. I guess you need you need the constant affection, do you, I don't know. I was felt kind of bad for the fish because they're in this mirrored groundhog Day type environment where nothing ever changes and they're just kind of bumping up against the sides of this fish tank. They don't You have to be careful what kind of fish you put in there, because maybe they'll attack and kill each other.

And every day you're you're a little fearful that one of those fish is going to be floating at the top of the fish tank dead, which happened fairly often. So I never saw features that make it out with a with a good deal in a fish tank or crustaceans. They seem to have a party in most fish tanks. They kind of like take it over and it becomes their territory and they like, you know, fucking box with fish. That The only other fish, the only fish that I ever saw truly thrive in one of these fish tanks was I don't know what you call them, but they were They basically would adhere themselves to the side of the fish tank and eat the scum off the side of the tank.

The only fish that should be in there other than the crabs down below, right. Because they're they're bottom feeders. These things are just eating the scum on the side of the fish tank. And they would they would live to a ripe old age. They couldn't, they couldn't get enough with this dirty fish tank.

But you don't need an angel fish in there wondering what is wrong with his life? Right right, right right? So I just never saw the point. But but nevertheless, we will proceed here. Alex is trying to go on with his rant about what an asshole Joe is, but then he's stops himself again and he asks about this second marriage that Joe had, and Joe says, like, I said that she was a doctor.

And he holds up this picture of a kid and he says, this is your stepbrother, mel, Alex, and Alex is like, Mel, I have a stepbrother. This is all news to him. It's I couldn't tell if it was a picture of it was like a high school picture of some like dorky, look like Anthony Michael Hall or something. I couldn't figure out if that was like the kid was really that young, or if the kid was actually like now, he was like a dentist in Van Nis or something, and this was his high school picture. Yeah, that was like his high school picture from like nineteen forty seven.

It was black and white at a minimum. So but yeah, mel is in a very very popular young person's name. Then or now. Alex keeps ranting. He says he doesn't respect anything that Joe stands for and he never wants to see him again.

Joe says, good, I'm glad you feel better now that that's settled. Please leave because Karen's coming. Alex counters that she never wants to see him again either. Jo says, what I cooked my specialty for nothing? And Alex says, what is your specialty?

And Joe says, oh, it's tunicasserole. And this upsets Alex because Alex is like, that was mom's specialty. And Jo says, yeah, I stole her recipe, but I made it better because she always used too much salt, And Alex couldn't get more upset. He's like, you know what, she used the perfect amount of salt. He's so pissed at Joe right now he doesn't even know where to go.

Then Joe offers to have Alex over for dinner, and Alex is like incredulous. He's like, you know what, You're not even bothered that I won't ever see you again. Joe. He's so bald faced about this. Joe says, look, sure it would bother me if I don't see you again, but it's not true.

You have to see me. You have to listen to me because I'm old, Alex. I will die probably a long time before you, and anytime I call, you'll come because it might be the last time you ever see me. Alex. Tonight might be the last time you ever see me.

In fact, that's you know what's He's not wrong, he's not wrong. You're absolutely right. He's not wrong. And at that point I would say you're absolutely right, dad, and I would have thrown him out the fucking window. The rest of this episode is fucking bullshit.

All this fucking He's just a cutesy little old man, and I'm gonna forgive you. Oh you come and sit with me, Alex will kiss me on the head, Fuck you, old man. You know what, There comes a point in everyone's life where you think, like, oh, yeah, this could be our last time. Good there are certain people in my life who if they were to say that to me, what do you mean, like this could be our live I'm so old, I would say it's not soon enough, motherfucker. Again Alex is rightfully disgusted.

He says, look, I don't I don't like you, Joe. And again Joe turns on the sweet old man arm and he says, you know what, I like you? He says, he says, look, call it blood, call it jeans, but every ten years or so, I just got to see you. And he goes on to tell Alex, look, you you're all right, You're funny, and you're pretty good with the ladies, and Alex says, well, apparently you are too, and Joe says, oh, Karen, He says, I just did the peace soup. And then Alex is like, what the what the hell is the pea soup?

And I suspect I didn't. I couldn't find any any real evidence of this. I suspect this is probably something that Jack Guilford did in a nightclub act or something. But yeah, that's it. He was a mimic.

That was his claim to fame. When he started. He was a Boneville guy. Yeah, so he's so so, Joe says, thick pea soup coming to a furious boil, and he proceeds to do this basically this impression on his face of pea soup starting to like like starting to boil, and he makes his cheeks kind of puff out in a very rhythmic fact. It's very cute, and it actually is very you know, it's it looks like it does look like pea soup coming to a boil.

And it's a precursor to the Kentucky Frying Theater is hilarious frying egg where one of the one of the uh the Zucker brothers would just lay flat spread eagles on the floor and then start to bubble and flip over like an egg. You mean, like the actual like live Kentucky Fried Theater. Yeah, yeah, okay, I thought you said naked gun. You know, I thought you said Kentucky Fried movie. And if yeah, I got that was I filled in the blanks on that.

That was my That was my bad. Alex says, well, women really like that, and and Joe says, yeah, drive some nuts. Uh he And and this is I think this is this is probably the crowning awfulness on this whole episode, he says. Jo says, look, all you need to do Alex is kiss me on top of my head and join me for dinner, and and Alex says, I'm not gonna do that, and Joe replies, you're lost. So Joe or Alex starts to walk out of the apartment, and Joe sits down silently and start to serve himself a plate of tunic cast role, which, by the way, I can't think of anything more disgusting than tunic cast role.

There's nothing to me that's appealing about that. Have you ever had I've never been on Earth, I think has had it, and everyone has been disgusted by it, but somehow, see people keep making it. It's just it's just so he's ladeling out this tunic cast role on his plate, and then Alex is still going towards the door, and Joe makes a point of like click click click, like banging his spoon on Alex's plate, serving him some of this tunic cast role. And this is all happening, like I said, with with with no dialogue or anything. And he even sprinkles a little bit of extra salt on Alex's portion, which I thought was kind of a nice touch because Alex said that the mother used to write am on assault, so he puts a little extra salt on his Finally, Alex looks back, he smiles, and he sits down with Joe to eat as we cut to this external b roll of the Manhattan Skyline that I think you described in the last episode.

This is what we know is this is a totally different one. The last one was the Empire State Building in total silhouette. This is like a twilight shot specifically of the World Trade Center, just to add an extra layer of eeriness to the end of this fucker room of an ending it. Is anyway, So we look at the Manhattan skyline and all its beauty as we end the episode. So now we're gonna talk about yellow lights.

What doesn't yellow light mean? Just a reminder, we grade our episodes on a scale of one to five yellow lights. One is the best or one is the worst taxi episode. Five is the best taxi episode, And as is our custom, we're gonna throw it to you, father Malone. What do you give like?

Father likes son, I can't wait to hear this. I give it four yellow lights, but I take away one yellow light because the ending is so fucking poor. Minute. If you hated Joe so much the character, and you were so aggrieved at all of his fuckery in this episode, and it got to use to such a degree, how could you even give it for at the outset. Because I recognized that my point of view, in the way that I would approach the world is in everyone's and that very well might have worked on Alex Rieger.

And I also recognized that all the performances in this episode are fucking sterling, and the direction is really good. And other than the fact that this has fallen desperately into sitcom land at the very last moment, everything leading up to that was interesting and fun. There were some good sort of moral quandaries going on in the middle of this very very funny episode. But the way they chose to conclude it was the worst possible way, So they lost a yellow light there. I gave this three yellow lights, so I guess we kind of lad it at the same spot.

For me, I think Hersh and Guilford have chemistry for days, and Guilford, frankly he enlivens what is a pretty stale sitcom premise. This is this is look make a mistake. This is sitcom land, Like you said, like there's there's this is not one of the more realistic episodes. There's a lot of cases of mistaken identity and so forth, and a lot of you know, silliness there. But also I love Louis absolute glee at the situation and that whole bit with him pretending to uncorp the wine and comparing this to a fine wine that he has to save or I thought that was very worthwhile too.

So three yellow lights. So somehow, even though we had wildly differing reactions to the final scene, uh we we arrived at the same place. So go figure for them alone. It's a crazy world, man, They aner still tickets. It takes all kinds to make a to make a world for them alone.

So anyway, that's going to do it For this episode of night mister Walter's father Malone. Where can folks find you when you're not clocked into the garage? I do a show called Midnight Viewing. HP is a co host on that show. We do festivals together.

We take a look at entire series of movies. We're currently involved in Star Trek Fest, So check us out over there. Good stuff. And as for me, in addition to doing some of Father Malone's great fests, trek Fest he talked about, I host the Noise Junkies music podcast and I also have a band campsite. Folks who don't know, I do a little bit of music here and there for Father Malone and other some other stuff on.

All my work a little bit. What are you talking about? Like? I have twelve different shows and HB has like come through on all of them. So if you if you like any of the themes of any of Father Malone's content, I would encourage you to check out my band camp site.

It's HP music Place dot bandcamp dot com. Please check that out any Thanks again for listening. Please feel free to subscribe to this podcast, write a review or ratus. We'd love to hear from you, in fact, if you want to send us an email, It's HP music Place at gmail dot com. For Father Belon and myself.

Thanks again for listening and we'll see you again. Next to Nik mister Walders