Episode 72 - Fledgling

Weird media. Nis you see that guy with it now he's an actor, a. Driver, and the only camp driver in his place. Good evening and welcome to night mister Walters a Taxi podcast. I'm hp or co host and with me as always is my co host, Father Malone.

Father Malone. How are you this evening? I'm good now that I'm not watching this fucking episode. Oh boy, that's not a good start. We're talking Taxi Season four, episode eight, Fledgling, written by Ken Eston and directed by the estimable James Burrows.

See what I did there. Reminder we're doing these shows in broadcast order and not in order of filming. This is one of those shows where that's doubly important to note because this one you can tell, especially if you if you judge it by Elane's fashion. This was filmed. I think back when they when they did the on the Job too for do you remember that where when Alex was a security guard he put on his own little show that was This was basically dates back to that season, to the previous season, but I don't know.

Why million years ago. It seems feels like it feels like it. There's just sitting there and they were like, we need to fulfill a quota here, pull that one out. I don't know why. But but what's also what also brands this as coming from an earlier time is obviously we will find out the presence of Bobby Wheeler, who I don't really think we've seen much of this whole season.

I think he was in one episode and and it's very short, you know, short amount of time in that episode at bat so. So yeah, so this was I I say that in every episode of this podcast broadcast to order, people will go oh, I keep saying that, I'm telling you why because this is important. Oh before I even get started, Father Malone, I would be remiss if I didn't note this. I check the show's statistics every once in a while to see how we're doing downloads and who's enjoying the podcast. And I've been shocked.

In the last week and a half, Father alone, there have been a spike in downloads from Get This Vietnam whoa where Apparently someone or some folks in Vietnam are starting to dig into the show. They're going through the whole catalog. I couldn't be more pleased. It's not one particular region, by the way. Some of it's coming from Hanoi, some of it's coming from Ho Chi Minh, different provinces in Vietnam.

So I could not be more pleased if anyone, if you're listening to this and you are one of my faithful Vietnamese listeners, please reach out. I'd be more happy to receive your email and give you a mention on the show. The email in case you're wondering his HP Music place at gmail dot com. So even if you don't reach out, thank you so much to you and all of our other listeners. It's greatly appreciated.

So with that, we're going to come out one in Vietnam. Well it's not just one that there's many in Vietnam apparently. How do everybody in Vietnam. I'm looking forward from you definitely right in. Please do please write in and like I said, we'll try to give you a mention.

So let's get into this episode that you're so looking forward to. Father. Now, we kick things off in kind of an odd setting. Father Maloney, Elene, and Alex are in what appears to be the worst set decorated apartment corridor ever. This This might be the laziest taxi set that we've ever come across.

I've seen high school plays with better set dressing than this. Father Malone, Did you notice this? I did right away. Yes, it's set a disturbing trend for the rest of the episode. Although I was pleased to not just start in the garage again because we just seem to be hanging out in the garage a lot lately.

There's a lot of that, and I think you made the point recently. I think it was maybe the last episode or two where you basically said this feels just like a workplace sitcom and taxi always should You felt like it was striving to be better than that. So this move away from the garage kind of takes you out of that workplace, generic sitcom vibe. But that criticism is going to come back so hard by the end of this episode. Yeah, this is this Well, let's sally forth here.

Alex tell you ho smells sorry. I went to Caddyshack. There, Alex is toting a painting, like a big painting under his arm while Elaine is preparing to knock at the door. They're arguing. Alex doesn't think they should go in, but Elaine says this might be their only chance to meet the one and only Craig Egan.

Who is Craig Egan. We're gonna find out, Father Malone. He's not known to us, certainly wasn't mentioned in any other episodes. But let's see what he's up to here. He's famous, I tell you he's famous in the world of taxi.

He's apparently a very famous artist. Alex is wary of stories that he's heard that this guy Egan is a recluse, but Elaine dismisses them as exaggerations. Elaine knocks in a curt voice from inside tells them to go away. Elaine explains that she's from the Hazelton Gallery. The way, did we ever actually hear her use the name of the gallery that because Hazelton.

For some reason, it reminds me of the word ovaltine Hazelton. It sounds like some sort of breakfast drink, but that's where she works. The Hazelton Gallery apparently. Had no idea. Good to know I am.

When I'm doing my tour of fictional New York, I know where to stop. You will go to the hazel on your way to Marios for a bite. Perhaps absolutely, she's brought this painting to Craig Egan to authenticate. Egan tells them to leave the painting and come back tomorrow. But Elaine, we're seeing the first glimmers of this persistence that Elaine I call it motherly instinct.

She gets annoyingly, singularly focused on something and she will not let it go. She says, well, can we at least open the door a little bit and you can you can see, And then Egan cautions them about his dog, at which point a clearly imitated dog growl and bark can be heard inside the apartment. This episode has spared no expense. Alex really wants to leave. It's almost like Alex feels like he's in some sort of horror movie, like he just wants to drop the painting and split because he's afraid of what's going to happen.

But Elaine insists it will only take a minute. After the sound of several locks being unlocked, the door opens and they all cautiously walk in. Now, inside, Father Malone is a pretty decent studio loft set. I actually thought this sort of redeemed the crappy, cheap looking corridor to a degree. There's paintings everywhere, there's painting supplies.

My favorite is in the back there's a painting of a pencil sharpener, which made me wonder, maybe if this is the same artist that painted the electrical outlet for Bobby a few seasons ago. Did you notice that must be They must somewhere in props on the Paramount lot. They have an entire collection by that one. Dude. I'm sure there's just other random objects like vacuum cleaner and kitchen faucet.

This artist evidently specializes in absurd realism, because that's what we get here anyway. Egan pops up from behind the smallest referra curator I've ever seen. This thing is only a little bigger than a dorm fridge. I don't know what is he huge? It makes him look like a giant.

He's played Craig Egan is played by Paul sand a sitcom and sometimes movie actor that's been around Father Blone since the early sixties. He's popped up in small roles in The Hot Rock. He was in Fantasy Island. I remember him from Holy Moses, Remember that terrible movie. That's exactly where I know him from a Holy Moses.

He had a very specific type of character that he would play. He was also in the X Files. I was interested to find out he's been in a lot of stuff, and I think he still works on occasion, he's still around, he still works. He's like, you know what he is. He's a lovable Charles Groden, that's the personality.

I don't think he's as smart. He's the smartest person in the room. But instead of acerbic, he's just sort of self deprecating. Thank you. The word I was looking for was he's not as acerbic as Charles, but he has that sort of shaggy quality.

He even got his own shot at a sitcom in nineteen seventy four, Father Loane. It was co created by James Brooks, So there's a connection. There's a Mary Tyler Moore connection here. It's called Paul Sand in Friends and Lovers. That was the title.

Intriguingly, the show, like Cheers Father Mohand, was set in Boston. Sand played a bass player in the Boston Symphony who navigates life in love with his brother Charlie and Charlie's wife Janice. Charlie was played by a guy named Michael Pataki. Do you remember Michael Pataki? Do you know who that is.

I know him from an episode of Tales from the Dark Side, but remind me of where else I know him from? So I know him best from He was in Rocky four. I don't know the character's name, but he was like the guy who is not the trainer of Drago. Whatever he hits, he destroys. That's Michael Pataki.

Oh, yeah, definitely. And I always amad that he was actually Russian, but come to find out that he's now if he's yeah, you know, he's just you know, he's just an everyday guy. So he was. He was. He played Charlie paul Sand's brother in this and Janice his his wife.

Michael Pataki's wife was played by a pre Lavernon. Shirley Penny Marshall also on the show. Jack Guildford was on the show. Terry Garr was on the show. Another taxi connection there, Henry Winkler The Fawns also made an appearance on the show.

Now there there were no full episodes available on YouTube. I will say this, much like the the credits for Banichick, which was similarly set in and around Boston, the credits for this show are incredible and I would encourage you to seek it out, father alone, anybody else who is maybe wistful for the good old days of Boston. Because it's all shot on location in Boston. You see Paul San lugging this giant base around Boston. He's getting on and off the Symphony Tea Stop, he's jogging, he's doing all he's playing with street performers.

But it's all there. You get to see Boston back in the in the early to mid seventies. At least, that's good. I can't speak much to the quality of the show. I'll watch those credits definitely.

I love that. I love that era. That was our tiny people era. I have vague memories of seventies Boston. You know it's changed a lot, but even just to see the Symphony Tea Stop, I mean, it still looks the same.

The area around Symphony Hall hasn't changed all that much. So I think you'll enjoy And anybody else, like I said, who maybe you've moved away from Boston, you haven't been here in a while, This might be a nice way to kind of reminisce a little bit about about Boston. The show, unfortunately, was canceled after only fifteen episodes, and it was replaced by The Jefferson's Father Malone, which became a huge monster hit, and Paul sand once again misses his opportunity to become a big, big. Star, cementing his dynasty on television, branching out. I didn't know that The Jefferson's was such an old show because that was on when we were kids.

It was we used to see it on broadcast television. Yeah, yeah, I remember, Yeah, I remember seeing it on air. Yeah, you know, so I must have ran for over ten years, I would surmise. But nevertheless, back to Craig Egan and his his apartment. Here, Egan fesses up to imitating the dog barking and and he goes and authenticates the painting, and afterwards, Alex realizes that all the paintings he's seen at the art gallery are all made up of views of this apartment.

And as he's walking around saying, oh, I've seen that refrigerator and I've seen that window, he's effectively backing Egan into a corner. You get the sense that that Craig Egan is maybe not very comfortable around people. Elaine compliments Egan as a genius, and there's some awkward back and forth. Finally we learn that that Egan is he owns up to the fact that he's a gooraphobic, which is a terror of leaving his house. Elaine presses him on this, asks him, how does what do you do when you go out?

And Egan admits he just doesn't go out. Now, at this point, I'm feeling like we're getting in trouble with this episode Fathering Alone, because Elaine gets this gleam in her eye that we've seen. It's like wounded duck syndrome where she kind of sees this, you know, this person who needs. She feels like Nightingale syndrome. Yeah, she she sees this person who in her mind needs help, and rather than enlist the aid of a licensed professional, she's going to take it upon herself to try and figure out this guy's problem and solve it for him.

Yep, what a terrible idea for a sitcom half hour Right now, as soon as she started like zoning it. Look, if this episode had been about her mania and her need to do this, then I might have been fully on board. But it's not. They're treating it like she's actually doing a good thing and we're supposed to lead up to a heartwarming moment when really she's got a fucking psychotic need to fix things, no matter who gets hurt in the process. Yeah, there's no regard for the damage that she could potentially do to this poor fellow who has real problems.

She is a delivery girl. This guy didn't ask her to come to his house and fix him. She's supposed to drop off a painting. He's doing her a favor by letting him in. What she should have done is what he asked, which is put the painting down and I'll get it when I'm ready.

Yeah, she starts acting like a psychotherapist to. She was sounding like a psychopath. Alex, meanwhile, is the only one with any real sense in all this, and he tries to stop her from doing what she's doing, but she insists she's gonna stay to try and help this guy. And Alex he's imploring her to leave Craig Egan alone. But again, we know how Elne gets with wounded bird syndrome.

Alex says, oh, he's gonna leave anyway, and he goes out the door. Now Here, it gets a little weird here because Elaine. Now it's getting weird. No, it's been weird now they the weirdness amps up. It does because Elaine gets this sort of alluring tone to her voice and her actions, like she's trying to seduce the illness out of Craig Egan.

It's bizarre, so she it's a fatale voice, it is what's going on here. She's like a black widow. It's a very sexy voice to try and treat this man's honest to god foot be Hey. I've noticed you can't walk out that door. Why don't you come a little closer to me, honey?

No, She sort of sidles up. She expresses this surprise that he can't simply walk out the door and do all the normal things many people do, and Egan says, well, it's not that bad. He's got everything he needs right here, and Elaine starts to ask him about how long he's been like this, but all the while she kind of has this plan, doesn't care. She's just like, the wheels are turning. How can I fix him?

How can I make him go outside? What's the first step I can make him do? Right now? Yeah? She's half listening to his answer, and she opens the door, like she's trying to make I know, she's trying to make it as matter of fact as possible, but again, she has no business trying to treat someone with a legitimate psychological issue.

So she opens the door. She leads him to the door by the hand, insisting that they're only going to take one step into the hall What. Is happening right now? She just met this guy. He's like, I'm an agoraphobe.

You know, he's been like this for years and years, and like he even kind of makes a joke like many have tried, like ha, like like please stop, yeah, don't do this to me. He's trying to be as nice as he can because it's obvious that she's not the well like you said, he says it, but she's not the first person to try and tackle his issues. But you know, rather than you know, break down and freak out about it in front of her, he's trying to be nice and make a joke out of it. But there's some real seriousness of what's going on here. So anyway, she does coax him into taking one step out the hallway, and then he gets super excited.

He's like a child, like, oh, I'm gonna do it again. Here, I go, all right, just be this time, okay, and he like jumps and comes back and jumps false. So it does feel so fake that he's like, yippie, I've been waiting for somebody to come in here and fix me. Yeah, it's it's super cringey and super just fictional. It doesn't feel authentic.

And like, by the way, is that how agoraphobia actually works? You just need a beautiful red head to drag you outside and then suddenly I'm cool. Now Elaine is lucky that he didn't have an episode and hurt her or hurt himself in the process. See, that would have been an acceptable, like end of act one where she takes him outside of me as such a panic attack that he has like a stroke and she's ruined his life that I would have accepted. The only other scenario where I would have accepted this HP and I'm just going to be a pig now, is if she had gone naked out into the hallway, like come on, like then I'd be like, okay, yeah, like even the worst agoraphobe in the world would be tempted out there.

But just a sort of mommy like take me by the hand, like, let's go out together. Bullshit. I am not buying. It's irksome. But if you go with like the naked or cancelly clad, then you've crossed into Benny Hill territory and you've lost the thread completely.

What thread? This is bunker spill. This is no longer about taxi drivers in their lives. The credits of this show is from that first episode of Taxi where he's like, I'm a cab driver. He's a boxer, he's a blah blah, he's a blah blah blah blah blah.

This is about cab drivers trying to make it in New York, and here we are, fucking Elaine is solving the problems of an agoraphobe. Art. Okay, please please continue. It's not aspirational. It's not a slice of life.

At least it's not aspirational. I'll give it that. See, I thought you were going to look at it as a positive in this case, but whatever, I guess it is what it is. So Elaine, seeing this happen before her eyes, she's happy and she crows about how she can't wait to tell Alex. As we fade to commercial I can't.

Wait to tell Alex what a psychopath I continue to be. He's going to be so happy that nothing happened in Europe. I can't wait to tell him all the psychological damage I've inflicted on this poor man. So we fade back in where now we're back in the garage, the dreaded garage. At this point, as Alex is reading the paper by the coffee machine, Elaine walks in and tells Alex that she must talk to him.

I must tell you of all of my experiments with this new subject. He's coming along swimmingly, so the. Very burnsy and about how you just said that, you know, Burns being the one from season one who secretly sabotaging their whole world. It's moved on to Elaine. That's the demon had to go somewhere.

I guess it's parked nestled in the frontal lobe of Elaine Nardo. So Alex makes a few dumb jokes about Elaine's nursing abilities, and Elaine tells Alex she's making amazing progress with Craig, and this only incenses Alex even more rightfully. So I like it. He's actually he's making fun of her when she comes in and it's pretty funny, actually like it, come over and fix me too. Well, you could you could read it a couple of ways.

Father alone. You could read it that he's he's legitimately upset that she's, you know, playing psychiatrists with this poor guy. Or you could read it as maybe he's feeling a little bit jealous that she's directing all this attention at the horror. Or you could take it as just accepting that this is another quirk of one of my idiot friends here. Just like Reverend Jim would walk in and go, I bought a racehorse.

He'd be like, okay, Jim, I guess we're gonna deal with that now. Plus he had to fucking stand there extra time. And wait, you know what I mean, he probably waited in the cab for her forever. Oh you mean when they were at the apartment and he's like, well, I'm out of here. I split and then she's like, you know, dealing with this crossing the threshold business.

I could see that Alex tells Elane that she should get egan to a qualified doctor. He's again, he's the voice of reason in all of this. It's insane and This is usually the reverse, by the way, right, it's usually Nardo going, what are you idiots doing? Stop this behavior. She's the one who convinced Alex to take Latka to the psychiatrist to treat his you know, multiple personalities.

You know what sucks is this makes me really not like Elen Nardo because this is actually damaging and crazy what she's doing. But ordinarily, when she's the voice of reason, it's like they're going gambling, like, yes, of course she can be the fuddy duddy, but like it when the tables are turned, like can it just be like she's spending too much money or something or you know what I mean, like she gets addicted to fucking, I don't know, coffee. But it has to be this thing where she's actually psychologically breaking another human being. And the thing is it's there's no thought to it. So it's not even like she's being evil about it.

Because if that were the case, HP, I'm on board. If this was at Lenardo going watch what I do to this guy, right. I will bet you that I can destroy this man in a met It's like how to how to lose a boyfriend in ten ten days? Like if there was if there was a prolonged scene where like somebody like say Louis was making fun of her like she couldn't seduce anybody actually, and go like, well, I'll show him. And then the rest of the episode is this and it seems like really warm hearted and at the end she's like, fuck it, I did it.

I destroyed him. I told you. Well, yeah, I could see. They're in Marios and she's like, I'll seduce anyone in this and they're like okay, and he taps on the paper this guy, this is the guy, and it's like, well, she reads this article about this famous you know, like like shut in, and now she's got to figure out how to get through to him. That.

I mean, that would have been sitcom in it's in its own way, but at least they would have made more sense, and maybe she might have fallen for the guy, despite the fact that it was for a bet. Totally sitcom idea. But what we're getting is total sitcom town either anyway, except we're getting a one way ticket to Maudlinville. Look, we already talked about Paul sand He's a very specific type of actor. But if you're going to have him be in a taxi episode.

He's his strength is his eccentricity. You could have had him in any manner of roles or something interesting. But yet this, this whole thing just makes me kind of hate Elane in the moment because she I don't understand what she's after. What Like, yeah, like they could have done literally anything with their SITCOMI bullshit here, and they're like, I know, let's make her a total villain. She's like, she's like Iago here man Shakespeare's because shakes the Iago has no motivation other than the villainy itself.

Like this is okay, It's not a good look for her or the show. Lane as Iago, I really like this idea. Actually, so she she brushes aside all of Alex's criticism, and she tells him that, well, you know, Craig is walking to the mailbox now and they had lunch on the fire escape. Elaine is thrilled to see this guy's progress into the outside world and says she's figured out how to do it. Her plan is to take Egan in her cab and drive him to the garage.

Why well, her reasoning, I'm glad you asked. Her reasoning is she's already told him about all the other cabbies. Bring them by. He's got a great pad. Just take them up, you know, Bobby, I'm sure would love to see this cool, swanky artist.

You know what, HP that could have been an episode. I'm gonna throw a party. I'm not comfortable with the outside world coming in here either. No, you're at least gonna make that concession for me. Here come the cabbs instead of this boy in the plastic bubble on in a checkered cab man.

You know, when you say that, I'm reminded of the fact that a lot of the best taxi episodes took place at parties or large gatherings. Remember the the art gallery where they were going to ben auction of painting. That's kind of a party. When they went to the house boat party they thought was Woody Allen's big famous masquerade. Like Elaine didn't want to invite anybody because she was all embarrassed by them.

Yeah, I seriously that would have been because then we already said this, the best taxi episodes involved all of the cabbys and kind of letting them bounce off of each other. But this is this makes no sense. There's a dozen different ways you could write this and make it better. And I love the fact that you, the writer, Artie, just coming up with good idea after good, better idea than what we actually had delivered to us in this episode. Well, in fairness, clearly they recognized how bad this is because they kept it under wraps for like an entire season, and this must have been aired simply out of desperation.

It had to have been, because it's a fully produced episode that they sat on for almost the season. It's inesane men. They pay for Paul sand of Paul Sand's your friends and neighbors, so anyway. It's like the Cabby's and this guy already know each other, so he'll feel comfortable coming to the garage. In the In the cab, Alex again he's the sole voice of reason here.

He tells her that she could do irreparable damage to this guy and she would never forgive herself. And then in the in this moment, she gets weirdly vulnerable. Elaine gets weirdly vulnerable and admits that she's scared too, but asks Alex not. To this is all you're doing. She asks Alex not to quote take this away from her because she feels so worthwhile.

That's a direct quote from this episode. She's really doing it selfishly, so she feels like she's accomplishing something. Egan has gone bye bye. What do you got left? It's has gone by.

So and furthermore, she insists. Elaine insists that she's only doing what the accepted practice with phobia's is you give people gradual exposure over time, which is that's so surface level? Are you too dating? Like, what is the gambit with you? Elaine?

You do realize you have children at home right what do you where are they right now? Maybe her kids are just like they're at that age where they're kind of embarrassed by their parents. Maybe they don't want to deal with mom for now, you know, teenagers. Maybe she just feels the need to baby somebody, anybody that this is the first guy that she came across with the legitimate need that she feels like she can address. You know what this episode needed.

We needed to meet his son played by that kid who played Tanner in that first season episode where he took Louis, took him from all of his money and though he was that rich kid like he should be, that character should come back and be this kid's on this guy's son, and then HB and then it would be a fucking backdoor pilot for a series, because that's what this feels like. I kept thinking the entire time, like, is this is this going somewhere? Like? Is ken Berry gonna jump out and start doing his cabaret act at this point? Okay, that is the textbook example of the back door pilot.

The Brady Bunch episode with the three Musketeers, the kids that are getting adopted by this cabaret performer and his wife who just show up and are suddenly friends with the Bradys for one episode and then we never see them again. Yeah, but they set it up beautifully. Boy, you had me going. So she begs Alex basically to agree to this, and somehow he does. He capitulates I didn't make any sense.

Side note, Just before we fade out to commercial, we see that both Tony and Bobby are sitting at the poker table. We made mention of this earlier. This is only the second episode this season. That when I saw Bobby, I'm like a ghost. Like, he doesn't say anything in this whole scene.

He's just there playing cards with with with with Tony. It's it's crazy. If this series we're airing now and they had this episode to air, do you think they would just digitize him out. Just wipe him out of the scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just cut around him and if he isn't a scene, just go just paint him out.

I think it depends on how acrimonious the split is now, because if it's a situation where he's. You know, I bet he wasn't stoked to be fired. He did speak at times about how he didn't feel like he had a real place on the show after a while, which it's hard to disagree because it's a it's a packed cast. I mean, it's it's hard they could have I mean, you know, they've done similar things like what's a what's an example of something like that? Now?

Is there an ail? I remember when that that terrible fucking movie came out, Zack Snyder's uh something of the Dead. It took place here in Las Vegas. It was idiotic, and there was some comedian who was like really problematic and me too afflicted, and they replaced him with Tig Nataro like wholesale. They just like like like wipe like painted him out and painted her in.

Yeah. Well that there was a Kevin Spacey movie that they did that with too. It was like All the Money in. The World with Christopher Plumber. Yeah, yeah, with Christopher Plummer.

I mean he and I think I might be mistaken, but it wasn't Christopher Plumber like nominated for an Academy Award for that movie that he just Yeah, I could. I could see it basically like playing like an Emperor Palpatine or something. Right, they just put on a green screen set and they make him do the lines. It's done acting with anybody. Yeah, I could.

I could see that. I could see that. But it's just it's knowing now how the story ends. With Jeff Conaway. It's a bummer to see that the end has finally come, despite the fact that maybe he hasn't had some great episodes in the last season or so, I'm gonna miss the character and by extension, I'm gonna miss Jeff Conaway.

So it is weird to see him. It's it's a big ghostly I agree. In this particular episode, we've we fade back into the garage. It's it's late, it's only Alex sort of sitting tiredly in front of the cop. By the way, before I go any further, this is my favorite part of the whole episode, and this is maybe the only reason to actually watch the episode that the see the scene that we're about to get into Father Malone.

You could take this whole scene out of this episode and it would not have made a single lick of difference. But I kind of appreciate that it's this oasis of some some fun comedy. This this has. This has nothing to do with the larger problematic issue of what Elaine's doing to this poor That's what I like about it. Louis and Alex kind of strike up a conversation during which Alex is admitting to Louie how he's uneasy with Elane bringing Craig to the garage.

I think this is meant to be the night before she comes the next day. And then Louis goes to his cage and he emerges with this dusty bottle of wine. Now what I like about this is it feels like the typical scene where I guess it's time to crack this bottle open and we're going to share a drink between two guys or whatever. But that's not the way it goes. So he tells Alex that this is an expensive vintage bottle of wine that he got from one of his first fairs in nineteen fifty seven.

Actually, and it makes me marvel at the fact that Louis has been doing this for so long. Yeah, I think if we go back and look up some of the dates of his service record and stuff, I don't think that'll actually match up. But no, you're right, and his whole the high school reunion episode, Like I think maybe there's a little bit of fast and loose playing with the dates, because yeah. I mean the high school reunion episode was in the first season, which was seventy eight, which would mean he graduated in fifty eight, which means he was seventeen and doing this rolling fucking celebrities for their wine. It does seem a little far fetched, but you know what, Like I said, I'm going with it for the I'm suspending disbelief for the sake of this episode.

Just when you think that Louie is going to open this up for a heart to heart with Alex, he tells Alex he wouldn't break open a bottle of you Who for this conversation, but Louis continues this chat with Alex. The way Louis sees it, Alex went against his better judgment and trusted Elaine, and Louis says, we've all paid for trusting quote unquote skirts. That's louis parlance, not mine. Louis tells Alex the bottle of wine came from none other than Errol Flynn. Louis tells the story about how Errol Flynn came into his cab with two beautiful women smiling.

He's carousing. Flynn told Louis to take him to the Hotel Pierre. When they got there, Errol Flynn has passed out cold. So Louis and the two women they roll Errol Flynn for all. The two chicks rolled in.

The two babes rolled. Him, Yeah, which I is a turn of a phrase. You don't hear much, not nowadays. You rolled them for the dough. So Flynn had on him one hundred and eighty four dollars, He had a pirate knife, and he had that bottle of wine.

Louis was thrilled. All the women wanted was the knife and the wine, so Louis took the money. Then then they mugged Louis with the pirate knife and sold him the bottle of wine for one hundred and eighty four dollars. The moral of this Louis story is that ero Flynn trusted women and lost. Louis trusted women and lost.

So what chance does Alex have. Of course he's gonna lose you. I don't know why when he insults him like that, it always makes me laugh. But so despite the fact father alone that this scene has no bearing whatsoever to the main plot, like I said, it's still it's easily the best part of the whole episode because there's laughs. We're back in the garage the next day.

The cabbys are all get away from this garage as much as so. This gets Maudlin. The Cabby's are all gathered, including Bobby, as Elaine drives the cab in with Craig. This is one of those deals where they actually drive a real cab onto the set. I kind of dig that when they do that kind of stuff.

Elaine gets out excitedly, but Craig locks the door when she walks over to open it, and Craig tells her, look, I've done all I can for today. He's pleading he just's fleeing. He just pleded with you. Let me go, He. Says at one point, I'd love to get out of this cab, but I can't pry my fingers off the door handle.

This is involuntary. He can't help himself. So now Elaine has the cab. He's one by one sit in the back of the cab. Because why, by the way, why are they sitting in the back seat forcing Craig to turn completely around in his chair and kneel on it when he could just sit in his chair and they could lean at the window and lean in and go, hey man.

Maybe she figured he'd feel more comfortable if they came into his world. So maybe they thought, well, we're gonna drive an entire car in here, we might as well use it's a what's a funny looking setup? Save this piece of shit? Got this damn car, this whole car here. First, up his Jim.

He makes a joke by asking Craig to take him the Yankee Stadium, which I thought was actually kind of funny. It's a good line that gets a laugh. Jim is unsuccessful, however, getting Craig out of the cab, and then he leaves. Now it's Tony's turn, who he kind of like Tony cracks me up because he kind of blusters his way into the cab like as if like, but this this joker, I'm gonna get him out of this cab in no time. So he like struts his way in and he talks about how he plays handball to get his frustrations out.

And every time he talks about hitting the ball, he punctuates it by slamming the car door really hard and going bam. The ball goes back bam like it's it is earth shatteringly loud, and it can't be doing wonders for poor Craig in the front seat. He's probably sensitive to loud noises too. Can you send the guy on drugs back here? That's what he says.

Line it is? It is was Paul sand the No, I think it was Mark Blankfield. I'm thinking of the incredible shrinking woman with Lily Tomlin. No, that was Mark Mark Blankfield. I agree with you that they're easy to mix up.

And in fact, Mark Blankfield appears in a subsequent episode, also coincidentally an E Laane specific episode, but he appears on taxi in a guest spot they're very similar. For some reason, they they they're linked in my mind too. He also appeared in an episode of Tails from the Dark Side, produced by Tommy himself TJ. Castronova, just a few years after here. Yeah, what was the episode about?

I forget There have been so many. Not not memorable, not not the grither or anything interesting. No, it was it was only memorable because Mark Blackfield was in it. Didn't Mark Blankfield. Isn't he the one who was in that movie Jeccoeline Hide Together Together Again?

Fuck? Yeah he was. Man, I love that movie. He's I thinks I need balls. He had the same kind of journey that Paul sand had, I think.

Yeah, they kept trying to kept trying to give him vehicles, and for some reason it just never connected. And it doesn't make sense because he seems like the guy who should have connected. Like I think if Mark Blakfield had been on one of those seasons of SNL early on, he would have been a huge fucking star. I agree, And actually he's a very versatile performer. I think they both are, Paul sand And and Mark blay Field.

But it's just one of those things that's timing. It's luck sometimes it just doesn't add up, and these guys never get the big break you know that they that they deserved. Which is not to say that Mark Blankfield had a terrible career. I mean the guy, The guy worked consistently. It sounds like, yeah, he goes in The Jerk too, that television sequel to Steve Martin's The Jerk.

You probably don't even know the taxi episode that I'm referring to that we have yet to get to with him. But what's funny is it actually does not lean on his comedy skills. He's actually called upon to be a bit of a swave and debonair character, which I would not I would not describe Mark Blankfield as suave and debonair. But I guess we have that to look forward to. Tony strikes out, he leaves the car.

Now, next up is Bobby, who gets into the cab and he lights up this fat cat cigar almost immediately. I don't know what's going on on with that, Like it's weird. He's dressed up, Bobby, He's got a sport code. He kind of looks a little like Judged Smiles from Caddyshack, and he just has this air of like superiority. And it should have just cut this entirely, the whole sequence, or just Bobby, just Bobby.

I mean, look, the entire episode should have remained where it was, but I would have cut Bobby's seen entirely. See, I disagree because Bobby at least had had a laugh or two for me. Because what happens is he gets in and he launches into this story to Craig Egan about how acting and how scared he gets every single time he goes out on that stage. But then Bobby offers this Peter O'Toole quote that hey, if they think they can do it better, then why aren't they up here? Yeah?

And so then the funny part of it is that Egan says, well, yeah, but what if Lawrence Olivier, Marlon Brando, and Lynn Redgrave are all sitting in the audience? And this is like a possibilit that never occurred to Bobby, So he goes they are, and he says, well, what if it's an actor's benefit Bobby and every amazing actor there ever was is in the audience, And this totally punctures Bobby's self confidence and reduces him to this shell. I think Alex at this point comes over and all you hear is this like looped in voice of Bobby saying, Alex, I stink. I don't know why, father Malone. It's it's goofy.

It's a throwaway thing. But it does make me chuckle to hear him say that, to be so deflated by this guy's logic, I like that part of it. I think first season Bobby would have said that. I think fourth season Bobby would have said, the answer is I'm still the best actor in the world. And then he would have pop his collar and strutted out of the cock.

You can stay in there if you want. Well, do you know, Hey, yeah, I'm still me. But anyway, so Bobby. And I would look at those audience, I'd look at them all in the eye, and then he would do something like big dramatic reading and go. And that's what I would do.

That's right, So I did Shakespeare. So Alex then relieves Bobby, and he gets in and he finally Alex the voice of reason. Ever, ever, so the voice of Reason just tells Craig that Elaine, I think we should take you home. I think Elaine should take you home now, and the resulting chatter like all of a sudden becomes like a loud not an argument, but a loud discussion between Alex Craig and Elaine. Like Craig just all of a sudden decides to get out of the cab.

Yeah. The writers say, at this point, we really need them to get out of the cab so we can have this amazing and emotional moment. What can make that happen? They argue loud enough that it drives some crazy has to get out of the cab. Just make that happen somehow.

It's like, I guess writing into a screenplay and then they speak in an alien language and then you hand that to a bunch of actors and like, what the fuck are we supposed to do with this? Yeah? What the hell? So he gets out, Elaine encourages him to take baby steps as Alex and the other caves look on in wonderment at this thing that's just happened, not thinking to themselves, wow, we're doing so much psychological damage to this poor fellow, Like they're like, oh my goodness, I guess she got through to him finally. It's it's so wrongheaded and it's ridiculous.

Preigna lane embrace and as they they start to do this slow dance, Louis takes the pa mic and he starts doing mouth trumpet like lounge songs through it like this, I'm in the mood for love or something. And as he's he stops. So he's actually, excuse me, he's doing stormy weather. Oh is that what he's doing? Okay?

Yeah, And you know what, this is the actual funny part of the episode, where in between performing a trombone, he is handing out the assignments but doing it in a subtle, quiet way so as not to interrupt the mood. It's really worth it. It is good because he'll be like, you know, Tony Cabbade forty five, and it'll go He'll continue this as Elaine and Craig are kind of slow dancing in the middle of. You Got to one two. I guess ultimately what we're saying is that if there was we we never vote on an MVP for each episode, But if we were to vote on that, I think Louis is the clear MVP of this episode.

He goes above and beyond. I mean, I think everyone's doing their job, but this script is so fucking dreadful that nobody can rescue anything. At least Danny DeVito is giving a moment a freestyle here and make a smile. Yeah, in a little while, you know what I'm saying, child, So so that's it. We fade out.

There's no bumper at the end of the episode. The episode is effectively over at this. Point, Thank god, so not moment too soon. Now we get to talk about yellow lights. What doesn't yellow light meant?

And as a we score on a scale of one to five yellow lights, one being the worst taxi episode, five is the best taxi episode, And as is our custom, we throw it to you, father Blone. What do you give Fledgling? What was the least amount of yellow lights we gave somebody? Did we give something zero yellow lights at one point? Was there something so dreadful we gave it a zero or a negative number?

Well, we never gave negative numbers, but I'm pretty sure you gave angela zero yellow lights. I don't think you had any redeeming qualities on that episode whatsoever. Okay, then this gets one yellow light for all the reasons I've already enumerated this. Like I said, it genuinely feels like a backdoor pilot for something. And if it's not, then what was anyone thinking about Elaine here?

Like they saw the mothering instinct in her and went, let's turn that into psycho fucking lunacy, Like let's just let her loose on the world of agoraphobes. Like if you know what, maybe I would appreciate it if it came back again, like she does it to somebody else, like, you know, an acrophobic and she makes them go up in the goodyear of Blimp or something. But this is just a one off episode meant to pull our heart strings and showcase Paul sand and it just makes me not like either of those things. No heart No heart strings. Here, No, I agree with you on this.

I also gave this one yellow light solely for the reasons that we talked about, I e. Louis, the scene with Louis and the bottle of wine, and the story with Errol Flynn, and then the end where he's doing the song the Jazz Standard while handing out the cab assignments that that to me is worth one but for me to my initial thought was to give it two. But that again, that's that's just below average and I think this is significantly below average, so I give it one yellow light. Father Alone, you give it one yellow light. So we're in agreement once again.

That's gonna do it for this episode of night, Mister Walters, Father Alone, Where can folks find you when you're not clocked into the garage? Come over to midnight Viewing. It's a podcast I do twice a week. Every Monday is either an anthology horror television series. We are finishing up Hammerhouse of Horrors, and then we're starting Ruled Doll's Tales of the Unexpected, and that Monday is shared week to week with our fests.

HP and I are just finishing up our start trek Fest and we're about to start Von Doomfest. We're gonna look at all the MCU movies on the lead up to Doomsday. And every Friday I do a weekly show called Father Malone's Weekly round Up where I look at the latest in streaming and in the theaters. And it's now a video podcast which you can check out over on the Patreon show or YouTube. A couple of days after.

That, when does your Fallout feature start? That will start in May May of the of the of the coming months Yeah, I have a new series. It's a Patreon only show. It's called Vault seven O two, which is all about the television series and the greater world of Fallout seven oh two of course being the area code for Las Vegas, so. You're gonna focus on New Vegas for at least part of it.

Absolutely, and my co host is also from Vegas, and so it's gonna be an interesting and she's a total fucking Fallout nerd, so it's gonna it'll be an interesting conversation there. You go. Look forward to that for myself. Problemillen has already said it. We do.

We've been doing trek Fest preparing to do Von Doomfest. Those are fantastic, a lot of fun. Hope you check those out. I also host the Noise Junkies music podcas and I also have a band campsite hpmusicplace dot bandcamp dot com. Yeah, it's true, the rumors are true.

If you have any interest in any of my musical nonsense, you can check it out there. Thanks again everybody for listening. Please feel free to subscribe to the podcast, write a review or rate us. We'd love to hear from you and I'll reiterate the The email address is Hpmusicplace at gmail dot com. Once again, for father alone to myself, thanks so much for listening and we'll see you again next time.

Thanks,