Lost Tapes Chronicles Finale: Reptilian

These are the creatures science refuses to recognize. If our eyes see it, if our cameras capture it, doesn't exist. Do you believe? Do you believe in life after love? Yeah?

Hello, I don't know what I believe in other than I believe. Again, I believe. I believe. This is an episode of Scary Stories. We tell I am still your os Chris Tashu, and I am joined by one of the other hosts of this show, your friend and mine jes Fired Hello.

And to round out this Lost Tapes rewatch, Maggie showed up about what halfway through the first season. All right you I think like after four episodes. Yeah, so, Maggie, you're here to help bring the show home. I know it's been a long journey. It feels like graduation, only with like a cold slap to the face, just scally slap to the No.

I guess the tracks for like high school graduation. I did feel like, Wow, I got a piece of paper. You're gonna say, scaly slapper, Yes, yeah, No, this is a way better graduation. I must say. At least this had like a really laughably sad rave party underground, a really cool seeming party.

I don't know about y'all. Oh yeah, right, I wish you would here, Yeah, flashing lights in my pace. Bye God Jesus. So yeah, on this episode of the Lost Tapes Chronicles, we are ending this little mini show within the show that we've been doing with a look at the tenth and final episode of the third season of Animal Planets Last Tape, aptly titled Reptilian All about Yes, you guessed it, the lizard People, ladies and gentlemen. I know lately.

Sorry, this is a family program, but the lizard people are taking over. They're turning the Animal planet. Kay. Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, go buy my whatever toot paste that prevents covid. Jesus, what the show?

The show got us ready last episode for where it was going this episode, it's like, all right, we're going to introduce you to the militia, guys who believe in the reptility. At least they do now God right? Oh lord, So yeah, we're gonna be talking about the final episode titled Reptilians all about Reptilian humanoids, otherwise known as that's the thing here, folks. This is not a cryptid no, this yeah, makes sense that this show would end this way at this point, why right, I mean, unless we take it in the purely like lizard alien person, is that like as NV, like you know, like the B style, like the V style really purely alien but just happened to be you know, lizard based. I don't know.

I don't know, Like that's the question though, because the lizard people that we're talking about, there's an episode of Jesse vent Toure's conspiracy theory on those lizard people, which are the conspiracy you know, Prince Prince Edward or you know Obama is a lizard or whatever the fuck? Right, right, That is what my expectation was through this episode. It's not that though, No, it's adjacent, but not quite which I do appreciate this one. They just have like an underground cavern and like to saran wrap people and see like it's quite a whimsical really there more taste favor. Yeah with that, yeah, I don't understand.

So okay, So the setup of this this episode is New York City. Women, children people are are going missing because of underground raves, and we have a cold open where we have the funniest like actress in this entire show. Oh I wish you were here, right, say that whole setup of them walking into that place. First of all, no, never, oh good, never know what I am through there. But they walk all the way there.

Her boyfriend's filming the whole thing because you know, lost it. And they get there and the bouncer and you know, the lizard bouncer is like, nah, not allowed it to the boyfriend, and so she's like, I'm just gonna your camera, you can get I love it without you, and he just leaves because he's not allowed to go. It doesn't wait, doesn't anything. He just straight why He's just like, oh man, limb. But what do you think though?

You know when when she walked into that room where the rave was and there was nobody else. It was just a room with flashing lights. It didn't look like there was very much of anybody else in there. In ice cream socials with poor people, yeah it was. Oh the setup is so strange because then all of a sudden she's dancing, talking into the camera and then she's just being suffocated with a bag over her head.

Which hey, they played that pretty well. It was probably one of the only like in the last hour of many episodes of this, probably one of the more legitimately creepy things that has happened in an episode. Yeah, i'll give I'll give you that. You're not wrong. However, what does this have to do with this lizard people are doing it though?

It's got footinge braw. I guess we see what they've got. Like shiny eyes is kind of like the indicator for the most you're not looking at them through the right eyes. Like bro that line. Oh, I actually did not mind this episode because it was so ludicrous that it just made my day.

Honestly, have you guys ever seen a dinosauroid? Have you ever seen those before? Okay, that's what this. The lizards in this episode looked like that, like weird dinosauroid thing. I don't like.

I don't understand a couple things. Lizard people like this has never been told this way. They're like mole people in this episode, right, yeah, so why why not just do mole people? Why? Why do wow?

Why do any of this? I was so exasperated by this show. Is there a gent well, I guess molti people is nine. Guys are just missing a whole point. There have always been reptilian things in New York's, like underground we go, Oh my god, a super Mario Brothers movie.

I'm sorry, gang, we're just in super Mario levels. All right, what if that was it? These are goombas, Thank you very much. God. Dennis Hopper shows up Monkey monkeys, that is Denis Hopper will show up as bowser as king Koopa.

What was the bouser to that underground rave man, that's where you have to get the super boots. God, it's and okay, so we have the cold open and then lo and behold Maggie. What don't we get again for like the fucking humpteenth time this season? We don't get the Enigma Corporation again? No?

Yeah, once again an easy insert too right. Two cops go into the sewers. In fact, it probably would have been the same like two that we got in the very beginning, where it's whatever Stacey and Brent going names. Oh Tanner Noble, thank you? Okay, no, no, no, Tanner Noble noted that was the guy who died.

It was Noel Connor and at least Mooney Mooney, that's right. I remember. It was something that made me think of killer clowns because they won't make stem me out of me there's always so good. I don't know why they where. There's no Enigma Corporation anything in here, but that they're the two detectives are dispatched to go and find the lizard people and the sewers and so to do that or to find out where the raves are I guess.

So. Uh So they go and they find Spike. Yeah, I love it. It's so obvious and amazing. So so Spike is a promoter for the lizard raves and Spike and they go to the Bronze.

Yeah, I don't. It's such a weird idea for an episode, right, because the lizard people are what are they? They're just a list, Yeah, and they're just abducting teens, like throughout it, we get, you know, just eating them snippets of Oh, teens are going missing, and we're gonna blame rape culture on it, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. But actually it's the lizard people that were doing it. It's the Lizard people and five other people that won't stop showing up to these underground ways.

They're the bait. They're like, well we have to have somebody. We'll just make some close friends and we'll just kill its. Yeah, that's create That's what I don't get here, Like, what is the what is the goal here? Are they killing teenagers to eat them?

That's why I would Figer I thought so, yeah, because I mean during the Animal Facts portion of the show, they were just giving us facts about reptiles in their vanderisms and considering that they're predatory, and they made like distinct and like points being like, oh, with their skins, like they can move fast, they've got power. It's like I would assume that they're just trying to like indicate their saran wrapping teens to pull for you know, more than just practical groups of gaffes. Yeah, and they talk about the Komodo dragon where it's always written where they are like, oh, they're ambush type hunters, so they set up these you know, traps, and even if they're not hungry, they'll still you know, like go after prey just for the hell of it.

Once they catch them, they don't let them go. So it's very like, Okay, they're they're lizard people in the most literal way you could think of them as like they act like they live underground and they purely just hunt people, and that's they are the lizard from Spider Man. Yeah, yeah, right, they like to causeplay is lizards and that's that. Are they in this? Are they reptile humans or are they reptiles?

I think they're humanoids. Okay, it's just weird, right, or wear clothes they have of their own. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, because they be men. Yeah, they mentioned like the alien aspect of it, so I think they're doing the classic Loss Tapes vague wash of or it's like, well it's up to you, which honestly is a good approach considering they've been overly specific in the past, like three episodes. Yeah, but I feel like if they're going to do reptilians, this was a really weird way to do it, almost like this is the only way they could do it.

Well, I mean they had to tiptoe around the conspiracy theory aspect, right, because conspiracy theory aspect of it, it's heavily heavily political and you're dropping it. Yeah. So while you know, previous episode that we all talked about had a little bit of a slant military military wise, they're not going to go full bore into heavily political conspiracy theory world, and so they chose a cryptid that's not a cryptid and had to basically make something up, ignore what and more or less ignore what already exists because what already exists. Again, it is like you mentioned for the show, Well, it's kind of problematic depending on the direction you go, but the fact that it's I mean again fucking doing an Alex Jones impersonation should give you an idea of how problematic lizard people can get.

Right. They took the sheer fact that they're taking over as just that, and it's like we're in like the Lesser Lizard, like on The Lizard Person totem Pole. They're not going for Washington, d C. And they're just going for like New York. This feels like the setup feels like an X Files episode, Yeah, a little bit, Yeah, sure, where it's a Monster of the Week.

Mulder and Skelly go to like Seattle because there's a bunch of kids that have gone missing. But there's rumor of like, ooh, this weird underground club and the people that run it have you know, might be lizard people. And then we go to the Rave Club and we find the teams like you know, so around apted poles and you know, Mulder and Skelly shoot everybody in the place. But X Files oddly violent show. I never see the got out of a lot of those cryptids don't survive those encounters with the FBI's duo very very frequently, they don't.

The ones that do never come back ever comes off. That's fair. Also, to be fair, the X Files, similarly to this show, really bungled the big Cryptids, Like there are not a lot of good episodes of The X Files featuring the big ee Cryptids, like chuop a Cabra. That episode's fucking joke, The Jersey Devil episode equally a fucking joke, and then episode that might be the only one, but that also has like a weird like anti climax thing it does, but is very much like a Molder Scully Bond episode. And sure for it.

So that's fair. Give me the drama and just want sexual tension. I just want a better Fiji Mermaid episode. Please, It's like moonlighting, but they worked for the FBI. Fuck That would make so many fans of the show.

Myself, I don't care, but fans of the show would hate that comparison but in those later seasons it kind of starts going. It's like, well there won't they like, fuck, you would have fucked by now five times over? Come on, right, and then I have a kid together. It turns out to be an alien, yes, or a be and maybe they were a lizard person. Yeah, yes, they were a be from the second Yeah, like that's what the xmiles ever do?

Reptiles U There were a fewer. One was like a like an amphibious man, but the Amphibious Man like that title. It was like picture just like the circus poster of the amphibious mask. Yeah not not even it's Phineas the Amphibious Man. Please gott to create that, AYI next?

Please? Yeah? That that AI could do anything at this point. Give it some give it, give it some direction, and it'll it'll it'll surprise you from what I've heard. Man, Maybe that's how they wrote this reptilian episode.

It was just early AI, so it only had so much to work with. While the writing ones are terrible, I'm sure the ones that were only fed purely like early two thousands information would be trash fires. So I don't think they'd give it. I don't think they've given up on this show, but I definitely think that where we are now is essentially unrecognizable, right they have if just it's weird that this is how this show concludes is with reptilians. Yeah, the topic's weird, but I think it is quite on point, at least for the last episode.

I don't think this was the best episode of the season necessarily, but this one, if I mean, I'll definitely be thinking about it. It had decent visuals and they did actually show parts of the creature at this time, which, thank you, That's all I want in life. Well, I'm sure David Ike likes this episode a lot. Yeah, or fucking the reptiles. I just it's weird that they would even approach reptiles because of the overwhelmingly problematic association with people like David Ike, who you know, believes they're all, you know, secret lizard Jews or whatever the fuck like that.

Why why you would get this close to that is very strange to me at least. Right, of all the ways to end this show, wouldn't it been better to end it with like, I don't know, the Locknest monster, right, yeah? But or big or Bigfoot again or even wait for the moth now until the end, just aliens in general, dude, the Alemann's Life bro Right, I would say that my expectation was that this was going to be the alien reptiles, and that's why they left it to the end, because if it had been the alien reptiles, then I'm then I'm on board with why they've waited, because it's like, you're gonna do the big granddaddy dumbass conspiracy, which is cryptid adjacent, like there's not a you know, secret bigfoots running the world thing.

There's only one of these, right, it's reptile people. So it kind of I mean, in reality, we can you know, Jess, I know we talked about early on with the show. We didn't want to give those kinds of insane o conspiracy theories a platform, which is why we've never talked about reptiles because it verges on that very easily. But it kind of is like the big conspiracy with cryptids, like the far reaching one, because like bigfoot lockedness, like those those are what like isolated to one area, right, like Luckness can't. I'm not worried about the locknest monster here.

I'm in fucking Lincoln, Naska. But like you, you'd stay out of that one unlock. You're fine, right, But with reptilians, at least that conspiracy theory version of it, it's like, well, they're in control and there's nothing we can do about it, which is scary, but like again, it's so fucking cuckoo bananas right. At least there are fun parts about it where it's like go on YouTube and like, oh, look at the way the eyes moved, Like, oh my god, these people waiting much time on their hands. But when it goes through the kind of racially motivated lens is when it becomes a very big problem.

You know, when you start talking about the Rothschilds and reptilians, it's like pump your brakes right, like now, Ryan, Yeah, Like, oh, we were having a fun conversation until we weren't. All of a sudden you had to ruin it with saying that the space lasers in the sky are causing California wildfires or whatever. Fucking insane shit people say these things, right, It's just I don't know, like, of all the things to do, I guess it makes sense that this is what they would do. I guess it's kind of a bummer that they didn't just do that like that the head of the Enigma Corporation wasn't like a reptile in the end, that kind of thing. That's what that was the twist.

But I was expecting if they bothered to keep up with the thing they did and the thing that they introduced specifically for this season, Like seeing the lineup at the beginning of the season and knowing that it was ending on a reptile episode, It's like, oh, yeah, they're probably gearing it up. There's setting these little steps up so that you know, it treads out whoa Nigma Corps really collecting the lost tape, so that no one knows that there were cryptids in the first place. I was thinking the same thing, by the way, I was like, why are we doing this show's job for it? What the fuck? It's so disappointing.

It's inspiring, though, you can just keep thinking about it. All we have to do is just bring this show back. I know, I know, we just talked too much smack. I just don't. I just don't think.

Well, here's the thing, I don't think any of our criticisms of the show have ever verged outside of like legitimate I think for the most part, if you were to sit down with the people who watched this show and we tried to get a hold of them and they said they would talk to us, but they never did. But the door is always open, the offer is always on the table. I'm just nothing to be sorry about. A lot of these episodes, at least in this season, have really given up the spirit of this show. And that's the complaint.

Almost entirely this season for me, has been the spirit of what made this show great has been lost because they wanted to tell different stories, but those stories didn't have to be told in such a drastically different way. And some of these are just like the Q Serpent God one, like God, what were you thinking? What is going on now? One at least stands out in my mind out of the episodes that existed in this season alone, and it's like, well that was interesting, but I learned more about Mormons than I wanted to do. And then it's like Reptilian and it's like, Okay, yeah, I guess this is an alternate way of going about Reptiles.

Man still going and you know, welcome to it? Is it like outside of your building. It was damn. If you want to repeat what you said, you probably should. Oh, as if I were everyone wants you said.

Yeah, Bro, the trains going, Man, the train's going. That mile mark is back. No, I'm never going to repeat that sentence again for the rest of my life. I can tell you everything about Eta, often short stories right now and he but no, I don't remember the last thing said. Sorry, Chris.

Is when when we talk about TV shows, which we've talked about TV shows and we watched TV the three of Us two, we often are left with the last impression that's made is the way where we remember the show looking at you, Game of Thrones looking at you, Dexter looking at you, X Files? Does looking at you every latter half of America or sy Does that ring true for lost tapes as well? Does this last season, this last episode really sink any value that the show ultimately hadn't? I don't think so. But this last season is really tough to get.

I mean I would just say watch the first season and check out a few episodes of the second season and then just pretend the third season doesn't exist. Fair. I mean, this one was rough. I don't think this last episode was like the worst sendoff. I think this is one of the few episodes that is closer to how the earlier format was.

Definitely had more of the animal facts, which I always give a gold star for the attempt. It just doesn't have the same tone. It grew in a different direction, which is fair. They were trying out different stuff and it didn't work, and sometimes these hair brain schemes do that. I can at least appreciate that they threw it out, for sure.

I don't think this is like a bad note to end on. It's just very strange and questionable, and it's fine. Like well, I was not really prepared for how much then of the zombie episode would inform the rest of the show's run, because once that episode airs and when we watched it, like it was so different from anything else that we had seen with this show that it I wasn't expecting it to really just be well, this is the tone of the show now, Oh my god. So this episode at the end, it's a better version of that zombie episode. I will say that much.

I think that I don't know where you would come down on this, Maggie, But for this season, this may be the best of these kinds of episodes. I was about to say the ones that stand out in my mind for the third season is obviously this one, but that doesn't count for too much. I just watched it. But also on the boat one with the giant Octus, that one wasn't the worst that I've seen. What was the best water episode that they ever did?

Agreed? And that was one where they didn't try to shoot Wren in the enigma cor recomplicant things. I would say the Quanzocoal episode was memorable, but definitely not for the same reasons that the Octuas episode was better executed under less resources. I would say, by you, Jess, you kind of came back to this in the third season of these episodes that you saw, where did where? Where?

Where does this season episodes rank for you? Which is the best one you saw? Well? This one is better than the last one? Agree?

Yeah, I think that this, But like I said, I think that I'm going to give this one extra points for having, you know, at least a moderately creepy setup that's you know, more interesting than the other setups that I obviously don't remember right well, and and some and you know again, it kind of is more of a serial killer episode than like a reptile or a lizard thing. Yeah, you just have people getting asphyxiated and hung up and murdered. It's like them being lizards is kind of incidental, frankly, right, what is them being lizards actually have any bare on the plot. They're not shape shifters like they're you know, that's the thing about oh, you know, Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama or whoever the fuck is a lizard like, they're all they're shape shifted like that's the whole thing.

There's none of that here. They even talk about it. They have talking heads bring it up. Yeah, they're just literally lizards with human features, like human bodies with lizards. I don't know, it's very weird.

They, like you said, Jess, they really wanted it to be lizard people period. Yes. Yeah, the bear like what to the literal definition of a humanoid lizard person that acts purely upon lizard brain? Yep. And I guess all they do is throw raves and kill people.

Yeah, and gate Keith, I mean, you're all those flashfires. Well, that's the thing about this episode is the way that these characters are painted because they kind of take the more bombastic and wild parts away from the reptilian creature. It could have they could have been zombies, they could have been vampires, they could have been whatever. Franklyly it them being reptiles is really incidental. Like we see a tail a couple of times, but that's it.

Like, I don't know what. What a kind of weird way to end a weird show. Yeah, I still appreciate it. I still really like to know deep in my heart that the New York canon that anything subterranean is just rife with people. Well, if for this show, that may be the case.

Yeah and Jason, Yeah, all the subterranean creatures hanging out underneath New York. Yeah, they just don't show up to the raves. It's kind of sad. That's the only people that show up are the humans. They're turned away the chut Yeah, what's chut up too?

So he was there? That was very shuddly episode of Lost. Yeah what if it was chuds instead, Like you got it wrong? That would be too. I mean again, them being lizards are so incidental.

It doesn't matter what they are. They're just killing people underground, Okay, Like why not? So uh. I guess to bring this all to a close, Maggie, did you have a favorite episode of this show? You knew I was gonna ask.

Oh, yeah, you know, and I've just been sitting here being like, oh geez, there's so many whack ass moments that I just cherished in my heart. I think Alman of man and might be up there because that has like just a slew of amazing quotes that just roll around in my head, like get to the altar, it's the holiest place in the church. Like, ah, I love that logic. I also didn't mind the uh oh man. The Mothman episode was so bizarre, but I did appreciate what they tried.

That was probably the furthest they stuck their neck out on the chopping block, but I appreciated that one the biggest stretch of all the episodes was the Mothman one. Oh, I know, such a stretch, but you know, they actually like took it to heart, like no they need video evidence that makes sense for the time. It was so weird. But I think almanavan In might might be one of my standout favorites, just because that was one I didn't previously know too much about. And though it was an absolutely nutty and ludicrous setup, it was just so so strange.

I appreciated the crap out of that finding the giant owl pellet the steeple, like get out of town. Yeah, what about you, Jess? Now, Like I still like the cubicab one. I still think that it was probably the creepiest out of the bunge, for like, in context of being a kid, So I thought child alone in a desert because of the cubicaverric yilled it's Paris. I mean, I will say the first episode of this show is a very strong showing for a for a cryptid that effectively really has not got a lot of that kind of you know, I guess characterization before.

There's very few things where it's like Cheopacabra is the main focus. And when I think of the chuop of Icabra, I honestly think of the Lost Tapes episode, which is wild to me, Like that's what I think about when I think of the chep of Kabra is the family with the video camera and the coyotes taking him through the desert. Yeah, I actually I agree with you, Maggie. I think the Death Raptor episode is my favorite because the Owlman of Mannan is a phrase that kicks around in my head a lot for no reason. And yeah, that shot of the guy pulling a fucking whole human skull and like jaw out of a owl pellet is just there's very few things as funny as that because the show plays it so at that point the show is playing it's super straight.

So oh yeah, and it's like weird because the owl man is like a thing in the UK, but it's in California for whatever fucking reason. Yeah, it's like a nineties four or movie. It's like they just really jumped the shark on it. But yeah, stuck with it. Honestly, I think the first season of the show for me is just like most of those episodes have some value, but when we get to the second season, it's just, you know, they started it out with Vampire and that's not a cryptosh.

That were Wolf episode was oh my, oh yeah, oh talk about an x an X Files episode, like that could have been an episode of the X Files. Gosh, that wasn't like an episode of Cops. Chris was, well, it reminds me. I think I have mentioned it when we talked about it reminds me of that X Files X Cops episode. Oh god, yeah, that's right, it's I don't know that.

The second season of the show is very strange, but then the third season is just it's almost like it's a completely different show and it should have just been a spinoff of Lost Tapes and which again could have worked, should have worked. I think this show still could work, Ryan, Like, is Animal Planet creating narrative based content? Probably not a lot. Why not just revitalize this. These creatures are all, like, you know, open free, they're open source creatures, like they're folk lored domain right right, Like the Mothman is a thing like you don't owe anybody.

Oh, you don't owe Richard Adam anything if you make moth friends. Yeah, even if you want some of it. So so I was one. Okay, So obviously we've been talking about how NeSSI didn vehrance, But I am personally curious about which cryptid you were hoping to see or we're thinking you'd see that we didn't get a chance to because I thought that they would do a Gnomes episode. But I guess Gnomes were just terrifying to me and YouTube populous circle like two thousand and six.

I don't know. Well, I was surprised we never got like a dinosaur in the jungle thing, like you know, you know what I'm talking about. There's that's like a very popular one. Dunby even did an episode of that. I mean that for me is a bit surprise, because that's another kind of large one.

I mean they did cover for the most part. I would say they covered everything, right, at least the more well known ones, right, like Mokelly and Bembe, Like that's one of the big ones. But like I guess Loveland Frog, like I don't know, like that could make a case for that one, right, well, considering they brought up so many of like the behemoth animals that already existed that they thought would be like transferable, like well it exists, now, what do you think it's like, Like, dinosaurs would be the obvious one, But I maybe there would be too many complications of what narratives they would be able to do that wouldn't be direct Jurassic Park rip boss. That's fair, Oh a lot, that's very fair. I hadn't thought about that.

How do we not rip off one of the biggest movies in the last decade. Shit, I don't know, man, can they all rape? I forget the raving dinosaur? I do. I do feel like for the most part though, like they covered all the bases.

I think the issue for me was just the way the way that they did some of them was not great. Like sure Bigfoot was relegated to the first season in a rather just okay episode. I think the bigger issue for me is they is they invented stuff as opposed to like Oklahoma octopus oo or megaalanea. I mean, you were talking about that, but that's like that's a dinosaur, Like that's not a it's not even a crypt it existed. Yeah, although I'll give them credit for sorry, drag races rife in our town, but uh living the set of American graffiti, yes, yeah, absolutely, even plastic bags blowing in the breeze.

Wow Jesus. But so I give them credit for like doing the historical big creatures and theory, because yeah, sure it's a bit of a coppa considering just how many urban legends and cryptids there are. But but what made the first season eerie to me is the animal facts and how it was framed so well, because if you were a little kid watching this and you're getting all of these animal facts and like scientists talking about these sightings and shit, yeah, that's scary as hell. For a lot of the latter season, you don't necessarily get convinced half as well that they could exist. In fact, I think we even stopped like asking each other at the end of episodes, do you think this exists?

Where we're just like, of course, what is this? I mean at some point it's like, all right, you're talking about zombies like they don't exist, right, right? Right? Yeah? I mean, ultimately, I think that the big takeaways for me with this show were the bungling of the water episodes, which were almost bungled completely.

Outside of the Kraken episode, which is the best of the water episodes, which is probably one of the bright spots of the final season of the show, the crack An episode is pretty good. Yeah, that one would be like second season tier in my mind. It did. They did a decent job, and it was creative enough, and they like, you see the creature while still obstructing it in a clever way and not an annoying whoa shaky kumway, right, which is what they end up just like leaning on in the third season so insanely are too much. But then the other kind of takeaways are them creating things like the Devil monkey, like the Oklahoma Octopus like it.

Those serve no purpose other than filler episodes. And if you needed to fill episodes with stuff, there are creatures they did not have. There are things they could have done, Like you said, no, I don't know how they didn't do a gnomes episode or trolls or something is hell sorry, those are like it's so dumb to me that the weirdest things will like get under my skin. Is creepy. But like those stupid YouTube gnome videos, it's like no, no, no, no for the little kids that were talking about a mutual sighting of seeing gnomes in little tiny cars chasing them obviously big, but I'm like sweating, Like he's been reading a lot of our slash paranormal recently, dude, I've been on a stint.

Well. And the other thing about this show is by the end of the show, they've also established in this universe the Devil exists, because remember there was the Spectral Black Dog episode. It's it's so weird. They opened up doors and directions that they never went they never went back down, that they never did an exorcism episode, which again that how that never happened is a good question, because they did Spectral Black Dog, they did hell Hounds, so I don't I don't know that that's one of the ones. I'm surprised that they didn't lean on an exorcism episode.

Ryan. By the end of this show, it would I would not have been surprised. I would have been like, this kind of makes sense, all right, No, because they've been doing anything under the Sun cryptids. Plus, yeah, the third season is really just like whatever the hell we want. So so on that note, Maggie, your final thoughts on Lost Tapes The show A man.

I mean, it's one that I didn't grow up with, oddly enough, because I didn't have cable. I was busy watching Arthur apparently. But I enjoyed going through this from beginning to end. It was amazing to see the development for better or worse. But the initial idea is just so strong.

I'm tickled that this existed, especially during that time where I think they were really experimental with what media would draw more people to Animal Planet. It wasn't just the thing that they were known for when I was like a little little kid, which is like essentially zoom Books as a TV show. But it was a good hybrid, very worthy experiment. The results at the end buried, but it was entertaining. I don't think I'm going to trade back the time, except for maybe a few episodes were well at least those episodes are only like eighteen minutes long, so oh exactly, and I could make fun of them anyway, So it's like I find trade offs.

What about you. Jes's final thoughts on last tage. I mean, I obviously did not watch as much as you guys did. I was not following along religiously watching every episode. But but no, I'm in agreement.

I like that the show exists, that it was a thing, that it had a place, and that you know, there were somehow it did get escaped my radar. But I think it must have just been a little bit too after I had, you know, moved out of the Animal Planet watching time. But yeah, it was entertaining for the most part. Again, as as the show hit towards the end, things started to get man, as we've said, But yeah, it's a fine show. I would not suggest watching all of it, Like if if there are specific cryptids you want to like look up and check them out, do it.

I don't think that you need to watch every episode, though I would agree with both of y'all. I think that this I think that this show is an interesting, interesting idea that they did rather well at a time where things like this were not in vogue like they are now, and they won't be in vogue always. I mean, there was a big thing in the seventies, and then they dropped in the eighties, and then kind of in the nineties, but that's thanks to the X Files, and then it dropped again for almost twenty years, and then now we're kind of back into Bigfoot and cryptids and weird stuff and the paranormal and supernatural, and that stuff's never been bigger than it is right now, and next time it happens it will be even bigger than this time, because it just keeps building.

But something like this had a place then, something like this has a place now. I think if somebody did something like this right now on the right network, fucking Animal Planet, even it would kill people would be into it if it was done right, and if the people who were doing the show liked, and I will give credit to the people who did the show. Their hearts were in the right place. Maybe not at the end. But again, like we've already kind of mentioned, most shows by the end of it aren't going to be great.

They're going to complay, especially if they're semi narrative based or even narrative based. They have a long way to fall, and they can fall very quickly. And we've seen We've seen better shows than this fall further than this show fell in its three seasons, and I've seen shows fall in the span of one goddamn season. So as bad as this show has gotten, it's not terrible in it Holistically it's not terrible. And again I mean the fact that it's all about cryptids, Like who doesn't love that.

They could have done more cryptids, They could have done cooler ideas with the cryptids. They could have put more time and effort into redoing a couple of these scripts Draft two or three maybe as opposed to one or two. But you know, I think overall, it's a fun show. It's an interesting show. I have to put my stamp as the one who thought we should do this, So any good or bad is going to have to sit on my head, and I think overall it was a fun experience rewatching because I hadn't seen some of this later stuff.

Even so, it's nice to finally have seen the show. I've seen it all. I don't like Jess, like you said, I don't need to rewatch every episode. There are a couple episodes that are good that are worth revisiting, and they we've mentioned them already. But for the most part, like any anthology show tales from the Crypt, Twilight Zone, any of the iterations of the Twilight Zone, there are not going to be a lot of amazing episodes.

They're going to be a fair amount of good episodes, but a fair amount of shitty episodes too, because you know, with twilights on, there's like seventy or eighty episodes, so not all of them are killed. Not all of them kill, just like not all these episodes killed, but a lot of them do, at least in the first season. In the first season is fourteen episodes, so it's not an insignificant amount to begin with the first season. But yeah, I think that this was an interesting show. I would like to see somebody do something with it now.

That's more like, my big takeaway is like, somebody do something with this, because anthology shows are kind of also back in vogue again, and you know with stuff like you mentioned American Horror Story, Jess, so you know, like you said, I mean it's it's This is an anthology show, ultimately at its core, for good and for bad, and it embodies the positives and negatives of being an anthology show. So and bluck ness, motherfuckers. You can do it next time, next time, do it? Yeah, one comeback episode, Do one good water episode, like please, because God just a deluge of awful water episodes. So please.

So on that note, Maggie, we have decided on what we're doing for the next version of this for scary stories we tell all right, and what is that show? Oh gosh, are we doing a Thousand Ways to Die? I think so, oh my god, all right, I will I will prime myself for that one. Because I watched one episode. I'm like, well, shit, it is a weird.

It's another show that is very odd for when it existed. Uh, Thousand Ways to Die was a Spike TV show. It a rated air rated by Ron Pearlman yep, which was I completely forgot Ron Pearlman is the narrator. But it's also like an insanely strange it's it's a it's like a micro anthology show. Yeah, I don't know how else to describe it.

It's an anthology show. But then like each episode is an anthology in and of itself, so great, a collection of terrible things that happened. But man, being a kid and seeing those episodes, it sticks with you. Yeah, yeah, And I am really excited to rewatch it. I have watched one episode and I forgot how much of a fucking trip it is.

And I didn't watch anymore because I wanted to rewatch it cold. I only ever really saw it, like just randomly, like I never went out of my way to watch it. So that's what we're gonna be talking about when we come back with this, and we're gonna be talking about Yeah two two thousand and eight to twenty twelve, Spike TV, one thousand Ways to Die Jesus. So until then, where could people find you on the internet? Jess?

You can find me on Instagram at writer Jess Byer. You can find me on TikTok it's the same name, and you can find me on episodes of the Culture Cast with Chris and the other show we did called One Season Show, and that's pretty much the main place. By you, Maggie, you can find me at one place, in one place only. It is Dolin Museum Dot. It's true.

And I think when we started this you didn't have Dolan Museum, and now you do. Know this is true, and by the time we get through a Thousand Ways to Die, I might not have the museum. Wow. As for me, you can find me at weirding Way Media, which is the podcast network that the projection booths Mike White and I set up for all the podcasts that we work on together and the podcast that our friends make. So if you like good shows that you're gonna want to listen to all of them, that's where you and go and could God, there's a lot of fucking shit to listen to, guys, like thousands of episodes worth, so you've got plenty of time, or maybe you don't.

I don't know, maybe you're on your deathbed listening to this isn't that dark and awful? Which thank you. If you're sticking around series oh boy, yeah, yeah, if you're if you're rid of your if you're death Averse. The next series may not be your bags. Just a warning right out of the gate, So uh and uh yeah.

As always, Maggie, thank you so much for the album, artwork for the show, get to thank you in person, and to Dustin Rutledge for the Campfire Stories episodes. As always, you can find Blondeo that's Alex Malnax band who does the music for us on Spotify. Just search blondo and we'll let our good friend, the former host of Sidings, mister Tim White, lead us out. No mystery is closed to an open mind.