178. Abigail Untold

Yeah, we're we Meeta, Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Feminine Critique. I'm Emily. I am Christine, and I'm sorry. You know, I was going to announce our special guest star, but I'm just going to close up shop. We're done.

We're done here. Goodbye. That's our episode or something ever. Bye. Oh I kid, go ahead, go ahead.

Don't let me introduce you. Please, you're ready to do it yourself. You don't need me here. It's me Fuzzy. Everybody.

Sorry, I thought we were doing that thing where we just said our names. I do that because we're just always here. But like when it's somebody extra super special, just like a build up and fan fair. You are the Heather Locklear of the Feminine Critique. There's always special.

Always special guest star and on multiple episodes in which you really should be considered a cast member. Yes, that's true. Thank you, I appreciate it. It's always great to be back with you ladies for cat fights and what have you. Before we pull all of our hair too much.

We have movies that we're talking about, don't we sure do? Yeah it is, you know. We we come here together for a very special occasion. It's the year. Everybody know what you're wearing right now?

Yeah, right now? Yeah, Yeah, it's tight twenty four which means it's the ten year anniversary of a couple of things. Okay, it is tomorrow is the tenure anniversary of my marriage. Oh, exciting about that. But perhaps more importantly, and the real reason we're here, is that it is the tenth anniversary of a little movie called Dracula.

Untold. I didn't know if we were supposed to say it. I like to just keep king to the rules. I'm like a vampire. You don't know which way I'm gonna turn.

That was a great dramatic pause. Yes, thank you, thank you, leave him wondering if you had a stroke. I really was gonna keep it going for as long as ac and then I got thirsty. So uh yeah, Dracula and told twenty fourteen, and we're gonna talk about that, and then afterwards we're gonna. Talk about another little movie.

The movie is dramatic pause. Fill it well, fill the dramatic pause with announcing the movie re covering, Oh, Abigail, Abigail this year from this year. Correct, Yeah, you're of our vampire lord. Indeed, now you as we always say no this not always, but I don't know. We're gonna say to this one, we will talk in detail about both movies.

So we're gonna do Dracula and Told first, and we will spoil it, and then we'll take a quick break, and then we'll do Abigail and we will spoil it these movies. Had you both seen both of them, or one of them or none of them before. I had to watch Abigail for this podcast. Okay, so I had not seen it. I just watched it sound I end a little bit peek behind the curtain.

I'm the one who picked Dracula and told I'm so sorry, but I'm not sorry because that movie is awesome. You'll get into it. Uh. This was one of those cases where you because I had said to Jason, like, hey, pick something, what do you want to do? And he came back with that one, and I'm like, yeah, sure fine, And as soon as I did, I'm like, oh that's Christine.

I'm like in my head, I'm like, I bet Christine really loves this movie. Without me knowing anything about this movie, I was like, I know, this feels like I'm sure Christine will say yeah, and Christine, What did you respond to with. I'm sure it was a lot of little screaming and stuff, but I think I asked you if you were serious, because. Oh, I said, oh my god, this is the best day of my life. Oh my god, your movie, sister, Christine, I like it.

It's true. I have seen both of these film films. I owned Dracula. I'm told I have a lot to say about it. Yes, all right, so let's dive on in.

Directed by Gary Shore, who had done one thing that I really liked before this. I think it was before, which was a There was a horror anthology with which had like a bunch of different directors doing segments, and he did the one for Saint Patrick's Day. The anthology was called Holidays, and it was like a different holiday for everything, and I remember really liking his segment. So I was looking forward to this movie, and I knew both of you really liked it. Yeah.

My friend of mine had me watch it and I kind of went in eye rolly, and by the end of it, I was blown away. I was like, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. Can I tell you my experience with it? Yes, very similar so very. Rarely, very rarely did Zach and I watch different things, not in like a codependent way.

It's just like we just like to watch things together. But he was like, yeah, watching Dracula, I'm told. I was like, good luck. And then he had to be like, no, no, no, I think. You need to watch this had seen him before.

No, So he starts it and we get to Charles dances in this movie. Everyone it's gonna come out, so might as well say it now. He gets to the first Charles dance part and he's like, I'm no, We're gonna watch this together. And I was like, oh, okay, all right, and I very much arms folded, like I don't know what you think I'm gonna get out of this. Oh, I got a lot.

It's just really good, you guys. It really made me lament the loss of us, like verse right, what could have been? We it was? This movie is one of the best origin stories I've ever seen period. It's just so good.

We get all the stupid stuff you don't want to know about a character that's already established, but it's fun and it's enjoyable. I'm just gonna spend this entire episode just agreeing with Pristine. So should I just like go to the bathroom for a really long time? Oh okay. So, first of all, for anybody listening who hasn't seen it, it's on Netflix, so you can watch it that way.

I am not okay. So I was excited to watch this because I knew you both really liked it. And it starts and I'm into it because I loved what they did in that first scene, the opening and the word it's like kind of narrating the sort of backstory, and it does this thing that's almost like like a museum type wax figure thing, where it's like instead of just you know, showing flashbacks or showing like an animated thing, it's like people that are like frozen in Spain in place and doing things. And I'm like, this is cool. Visually, this is really neat, and I do think visually this movie does a lot of really cool things.

I had one glaring problem right away when I realized I'm like, okay, wait, what year was this movie made? My look and I'm like, okay, I'm like this was had to be made like this the year after three hundred, right three hundreds of Rage. It was a very particular style we were going for, and it was okay to kind of have certain feelings about certain types of people and places of people. And then I realized it was twenty fourteen, and I'm like, I'm sorry in twenty fourteen. In twenty fourteen, we were casting Dominic Cooper as the evil Turk in dark skin makeup and making all of the dark skinned people evil monstrous, And here's Dracula and his blonde wife and his blonde like best man, and I was like, they're good And it was really hard for me to turn around on that.

Let me make my joke. It's less offensive because they're not actually people. It's all what white guys, right. But not? It's why it's no.

But I'm just saying obvious. Like I can't I can't tell which would have been worse, Like would it have been worse right to have cast an actor of call? Like because the way I mean, and I mean, three hundred is really really bad at this like three hundred again, Like I like three hundred in terms of like I enjoy watching it. It's like hot men and brutal violence and all that, but also every time I watch it, I'm like, what this movie is really racist and homophobic, and again like I don't know, yes it is, but this is twenty fourteen. It feels really late to be casting, like because at first I'm like, hey, Domina Cooper, maybe he's Italian.

No he's not, Like it's not even that, Like, no, he's not even Mediterranean. Like he's a fucking white British guy and he's they dark in him and make him a darkn and the villainry is so like CD, which is fine, but why are all the white people so good? It really bugged me, And I'm sorry because it really did, Like was just this big chip on my shoulder that I had hard time getting past. But there's other stuff that I really liked. You know.

Sometimes sometimes things like that get me. Sometimes they don't. And I wish that I could like put put a pin on why, like I could figure out what offends me and what doesn't. I remember watching Anchorman. I hate the I hate the movie Anchorman because of its sexist misogyny, and like I realized that's the point that the entire time I couldn't enjoy the movie because like in my head, I'm just like, why do women have to work twice as hard?

To get half of you saying something here. Yeah, I just couldn't let it go. And sometimes I can go along for the ride. Same one. I went along for the ride, and it didn't stand out to me glaringly, mostly because like I don't really know what a turk is.

I just know that's one of my business. So it didn't stand out much to me. But I get where you're coming from. Yeah, but let's let's let's keep going because there are some really good Luke Evans is fantastic. Luke Evans is a god among gay men.

He is. Yeah. I would just like to pause here to again tell everybody that they should really watch Immortals for no other reason than the fact that Luke Evans is literally a god in it and all that stuff is filmed incredibly well and it looks really cool. Yeah. So if you're into Luke.

Evans the way, I. I don't know what that is. What is Immortal Mortals. It's a it's a Henry Cavill movie. It's Mors who did The Cell and the Fall.

Oh yeah, but like also there's this whole thing. Yeah, there's so many helmets. Snicky Rourke wears a helmet and like every scene it's a different helmet. It's all that stuff is boring. But then they get up into the sky and it's beautiful and people have lovely crowns and nice outfits.

Yeah, the costumes, I think, because here's a funny tie in, because I will say, watching this movie, like twenty minutes into it, I'm like, man, it's been way too long since I've watched bram Stoker's Dracula. And midway through this movie, I'm like, I'm we don't own a good copy. I'm buying Bramstoker's Dracula. And two days after I watched this, me and Brad and sat down and we watched Bramspicker's Dracula, and I mean, yeah, perfection and that movie too that I mean, the costumes are incredible. I believe it's the same costume designer who did because I know she did a bunch of Tarsum's movies.

I know she did The Cell and The Fall. I think she might have also done the costumes in Immortals. So there's your your ti in. I love that you're just saying Tarsum like that's a thing is a thing. Tarsum is a man who has directed movies.

He just does he go by one name, like I think he I. Think it's like Tarsan sing. But then general like early at one point he's like like a lot of these out these one named people were like for a while they can use two names, and then they hit the point where it's like no, like so right now, okay, I just looked him up. Yeah, you're right, it is you have it's Arson saying. But if you look at like director, it's like director as Tarsum or as Charsan saying.

So it depended maybe I'm like what he was doing, whether he wanted to use this ful. You know, he makes beautiful movies, gorgeous movies. They're not always very good, but they are gorgeous to always beautiful. Yeah, like McGee, I got it, okay, very much. Yes he is the he's no, but yes he's he's a better mcge but he's still I can't.

Honestly. One of my favorite films is Charlie's Angels, the original Charlie's Angel of course, yes, And I think a big reason is it is so beautifully filmed. Every skin tone, every lock of hair, everything is the most gorgeous photo you've ever seen in your life, and I think that really influenced my love of that movie. So that's where I'm coming from with that. Like McGee is great visually, Yeah.

I don't disagree, and I know I think they are. I think nick Gee is like the commercial Tarsum. Okay, all right, I can get behind that. I will and verified. I think it's ico Ishioka, who won the Oscar for Dracula's costumes also did the costumes for Immortals.

What what? Oh? Nice it all comes together? Did she do the costumes for Dracula and told she did not? Sorry Betty?

Sorry? Then you know, Emily, I will say that this film also really made me want to rewatch Bromstarterstracula, and my friends, my movie friends that we always get together and watch movies with, have never seen. I'm dying. Oh my god, that's so exciting. I wish I had never seen.

Oh, I know, I wish I could experience it again. It's one of the most visually beautiful films i've oh. Completely It is also because I realized, like I don't think I had sat down and rewatched it beginning to end since I had seen it in the theater when I was ten yes, I know, weird, but it is a movie too that is like, aside from just being like gorgeous and entertaining and all this, it is it is a I don't know the rest of you have this this experience. It's a very specific sexual movie if you were like a horror kid at that age, very impressionable movie when I look at him like, oh, this explains a lot about me. Yeah.

Right. It was the peak age of horny movies, and I like seeing it. You're a little younger than I am, So how old were you when you saw it? Ten? Okay?

I think I was like seventeen, and I think I got more of it. I can imagine being very like, oh, why is my bathing suit area feel that way? Exactly? I've seen it earlier. Yeah, but I do think Dracula and Told also is at times very much like not specifically, but it is definitely inspired by Bramstokerstracula.

Absolutely the Undying Love, like Dracula as a horny lead that like, yeah, totally. The way I don't understand how gravity works in either of those movies, Like that his wife plummets out of a very spoiler alert very like High Tower, where like obviously she's not gonna she's you know, she's gonna die, But like, how does that kill you? Doesn't it kill you when you like hit the ground, but instead like she's dying in both cases right like he like she's still talking to him after having fallen thousands of feet to the ground. I think it's because they don't want to show her broken body. Yeah, it should.

It's not that kind of movie though, You're supposed to be more romantic. Yeah, yeah, weird, Like if she gets a cut, it's that beautiful cheekbone cut, you know, have one line. It's that kind of movie. Yes, fine, that's fair. I don't know why it bothered me so much because normally I can get past that.

But I was like, wait, come on, did like ten minutes ago in that very long fall? Can I tell you something though? And this is a physics thing, so I don't know. I'm not smart, but like I understand that like two things. Couldn't he have turned into a bat and like.

Been the entire the entire time. He couldn't turn into a bat, Yes, because. He couldn't fall faster than her they were both falling at the same rate. But he could also be a bat that that could then fly faster than she was falling, So that's. What and then turned into a man and then turn into human or human vampire whatever and like cushion her fall.

Yeah exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. The selective battery of Dracula. No, but in this that's a problem with I mean, because so essentially we didn't. Really give much yeah Christ take it away. Yeah, essentially, but no, no, it was this was going to be the Dracula in the Dark Universe, if everybody remembers the Well, it.

Wasn't intended to. While filming, they realized towards the end, Oh wait a minute, we're building something. We could do something here. Yep. So technically Luke Evans was going to be the Dracula in your Tom Cruise, Mummy Johnny Depp Invisible Man Sandwich, like that was what was gonna happen.

Maybe, So this is kind of like this ends up being like a dracular origin story superhero movie. So it's a dracular Dracula story, but in kind of like the superhero format, which is interesting and strange, right and and also fantastic and wonderful. But because of that, it's it's a very strange movie tonally sometimes because it's it's doing a lot of different things because it's doing Dracula shit, but it's also doing like escalation and like big fights and superhero stuff. And then, like Emily pointed out, a woman falls to her death and looks perfect, hits the ground and then just I guess dies from the shock of the fall. So it's a very strange movie.

I don't remember my original point, but I felt like it was really important to point out that it is essentially a traculous superhero movie. Well, was it always intended to be PG thirteen? Do we think? Oh boy? I mean stuff like that fall.

Yeah. With the money put into this, there's such a high budget. I'm sure that they were shooting for PG thirteen. They wanted kids to go see this movie because. Yeah, he's a very safe Dracula exactly.

And I think that's another thing that kind of for me, because as we know, there is a very large contingent of annoying movie people out there who were like, it sucks because it's PG thirteen. We are not those people. I am Christine and I especially are very happy with a great PG thirteen movie that understands exactly what it's doing and PG. Thirteen can be terrifying. This is one of those cases where it feels like it is that had it been like we can go are we can go for more adults, I do think things would have clicked into place better because there is something about the very nature of like exactly what's going on with the Turks in this case, with their enemy who are enslaving boys, Like there are things going on that the movie like can't go into an it and and as you said, you have a hero like your hero is very morally supreme and all of that, And I do wonder if it could have I don't know if it would have been a little bit more substantial, if they could have pushed a little harder.

Well, I think with an anti hero like that's that's essentially with how they're painting Draculas, like a guy who's like torn between two worlds dark and light, et cetera. And r always works for that for that genre. I mean that that's like Deadpool. That's why Deadpool is so successful because he's kind of an edgy superhero, you know, and he's he's not really X Men. He doesn't he doesn't fit into the X Men but he doesn't fit into the villains.

He's somewhere in between. He's his own third thing. And so that's I think in our always works for like a conflicted villain. So yeah, it would have been better as an arm but it's fine, Yeah. Just because I don't think he had like not that he doesn't have conflict, but like he feels more like Superman, where there's no doubt ever that he's going to bite his son or do anything bad because he seems just so good.

Yeah. Well, and I and I would say that I would have a problem with that except for the fact that the movie does something I think is very interesting, and I wish it had been forget the whole turk thing, because I agree with you, Emily, it's just you're just stepping in shit with that. Just don't do it. Yeah, but like all that whole kind of like Charles Dance like gave him this vampirism that he could handle, and then like these these motherfuckers in his village just like are vampires and are awful people are awful vampires and can't handle it and just start biting everybody and being. Pieces of crap.

And I thought that was really interesting. Because it like kind of it kind of highlighted, like it actually gave you a reason to be like, wow, Luke Evans is a superior person because look at all these people when they get it, they can't handle it. So it gave you like it's something to juxtapose it against, which a lot of a lot of things where you have that like sterling perfect hero, don't ever do that. I think I wanted more of that though, because it happens so quickly, right, you don't even realize. I didn't even quite realize, oh he's turning people because they don't show it, and then you know the whole movie.

It could have been the whole movie, and then you have you know, they've defeated the Turks. He turns around and there's a bunch of vampires around. It's like, okay, great, here's who's left you guys and my son, oh god you're gonna come okay, fine, you're all dead, son, son out world dead. Like it is probably a minute of screen time that you get that realization and get to think about it, and it's just yeah, I think there's like patches of this movie that I wanted expanded, and other parts that I think they would have been well, you know, better suited to not as as dive into. As much exactly.

That's a really interesting point because so many movies, it's the it's the chosen one. You know, we got your Harry Potters and your Luke Skywalker's and you're never really told why they're the chosen one. They just are. It's divine and there. Or with their daddy and or their or their uncle depending on you know, your grandfather.

Right which Star Wars you're watching the fucking up the universe this week? But this one, I think that it was. That's a really good point that it showed that this person like had the moral fortitude to handle vampirism, whereas most people don't. That's why he is the er vampire. He is Dracula, the King of vampires, because he could handle it.

I think that's what the movie is saying. I'm not saying that Dracula is I'm not a I'm not a Tracula apologist. Everybody want to make sure that's out there. But I think in this movie that's what it was trying to say, that he's the one who could actually handle this curse. And I think that's one of the coolest things that it does, because like the whole protecting your your kingdom thing is kind of like obvious and stale.

So it's neat that it did something else. And then all the Charles dance stuff. I don't know if you guys enjoyed all that weird lore in his performance as much as I did. Oh I will always There's never been a time in my life when I have not enjoyed Charles dance. And he's one of those actress who I love, who like, no matter what he's in, he's going for it.

Yeah, chew and shit up in this. It was really fun to watch and that's what makes me so sad about it because spoiler, we get all that stuff Dracula origin story stuff, and then we're in like present day with like hot present day Luke Evans and dance exactly, and he re meets his wife like very bram Stokers in that lay and name is Nina, and we're. Like, oh my god, I started crying. I get really lo but like I was like, oh God, they're gonna be together. It's so beautiful.

And then Charles dances there and he's like, good a call in his favor and that's the ship we missed out on. Yeah, I would have loved to. Have seen that movie. Yeah, it's tricky on one hand, yes, on the other, It's the thing I always feel whenever there's like an actor that has so much to them and you're like, no, I don't want you stuck in that role forever. I guess that's true, but like, I don't know, I could have taken at least one more Dracula movie.

And what could have been more of a springboard, Like he's sure, he's prolific, He's in a lot of things, but he's never had a big star role. I would I want to see him in some big starring roles. I want to see him as a leading man and as more of an action star. He's he's so charismatic. He was, he had a I mean, I feel like he was the hot thing for a while.

I don't know he'd like, I mean, right, wasn't was he star the Beast? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was guessed on in that. I tried to watch it. I can't get through that movie.

No, I can't handle any of these Disney movies that are still just animated, but not like there. I don't they make the uncomfortable and I don't like them. Uh yeah, I haven't watched one. Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. I feel like he I thought he was.

I mean he's I guess it's like some of the weird little things that like i've seen him man, like High Rise. But you're right, and he's in some of the Fast and the Furiouses which I did not know. Yeah, yeah, he's he's He's barely in them though, as most of the villains, and that he's not the centerpiece, which is which is a shame. Yeah, I think it's well. When I say leading man, I mean opening a film.

I don't think you're right, A film like hit on his name alone. I wish that for him, though, I think could have been that that star. Yeah, it's purely because I've somehow the few things I watch on TV happened to be things that he was in, like Nine Perfect Strangers and The Alienist that I tried to do and gave up on. Like, yeah, I was watching Palm Royal, which we talked about via text a little bit earlier, and there was one actor on there. I was like, who is this guy?

I know this guy? And I went to IMDb like you always do, and I started looking through and it's that thing where I don't know him from any one thing, but he was in every single TV show I watched. Yeah, Like he was on New Heart, he was on Night Court, he was on Cheers. See. The other part to that is, uh, he could have also been in a lot of commercials you've seen.

Oh That's what I've started going crazy watching because I keep seeing that same thing happen where I'll see an actor and I'm like, no, I know I've seen this guy. I know this guy. I know that voice, I know how he says the word cleaning and then sody A dawns and me. I'm like, y'all, I'll never find it. But he must have been in a commercial for vacuums.

Yeah, And you can even see like an image of him, like, no, yeah, picture him in a suit tipping a hat, right, what the fuck is that from? Yeah? I could picture like him spilling juice on you know, his wife's dress and her rolling her eyes but then taking care of it. You know. Yeah, probably You're probably right a lot of it is commercial.

Mm hmm. That's interesting anyway. Yeah, but you're right, Luke Evans has not had the career I thought he did. Yeah in my mind, like he was. Just everywhere for a while.

But you are right, he was. He's work, he works very steadily. I'm sure he you know, is employed and has health insurance. But he he should be a leading man, and it is he odd. He was our best shot as an out a leading man, I think.

I mean, there are other out gay actors, but like Matt Boehm, pretty face, I don't know if there's much there. You know, he's talented enough. I don't know if he's a leading man necessarily. It's not the same. There's something about Evans that is like, is that he is a leading man doesn't have Yeah.

He has the body, he has the face, he has the charisma and I think too and the talent. And I think he can play gay and straight, which I think is one of those things that often comes up of because he he came out pretty early in his career, I believe, like I think it was. It was one of those things if if, and I could be wrong about this, but I think it was a case where like people knew and he just kind of said like okay, I'm just yeah, I'll come out then and say it like. I don't know that he was ever intending to. But you know, good for him.

I'm sure many people are very glad he did. Did it hurt his career at all? I have no idea, but I I agree he could be a superhero. He could be James Bond. Why isn't he James Bond?

Wait a minute, you haven't even mentioned that, right? Wait? Is he James Bond? Do we know who James Bond is yet? Did they announce it?

I think we did, didn't they? It's somebody stupid or somebody boring? Right? I think it was somebody I wasn't interested in, but I don't know. I don't really know who.

Oh it's Aaron Tylor Johnson. Okay, Oh see I was right. There's no shade to him. I'm sure he's great. Sure you know I sound so shallow and I go on this diatribe, but I am so sick of Hollywood trying to shove weird faces down my throat and tell you they're attractive, Like I like the guy from The Bear.

I just can't with your gooney Jean Wilder looking ass face. I can't get down with this. You might have a hot body, but put a bag over your head. I know I sound horrible, but he's not attractive. He's kind of goony, which gooney is fine, but it's not necessarily attractive.

See and like Benedict cumber Batch and you're weird promagnet eyebrows. I don't like it. Stop making me try to like it. I mean, as somebody who likes the weird little dudes, but I don't like those weird little dudes. I like the weird dudes who are like actively you know, not considered attractive, but not the ones that they're shoving down my throat.

So yeah, yeah, I think it's like mostly people say see a hot body, They're like, hey, this guy's hot. I'm like, no, you need like you can't just be ninety four percent of a hot person. I need the head as well. I'm sorry, I think the guy from the bear is hot, though. Oh really, I think he's crossing.

I'm not going to get into this. It's okay, no no, I'm just saying no, no, no. I think there might be something in that like weird hetero part of my brain that's like this guy's hot, right, Like I can't help it. I do like awful men sometimes. We all do.

I think I can. It's one of those things. I get it on Jeremy Ellen White the bear, Dude, the Bear. Yeah, I think I get it. It's it doesn't it doesn't click for me.

But like I can see somebody next to me looking and I'm like, yeah, I get it. It's doesn't you know, Yeah, yeah, It's not like we're others where I'm like, I just don't see it. But you remember when everybody tried to convince us that redheaded guy from like CSI was hot back in the nineties. Oh, oh good god, David Caruso. They kept trying to tell us that he was the next sex symbol.

I was like, oh, fuck yourself, he's not. He's fine, that's a fine face. Don't tell me it's hot. I am the most shallow next. Jason on a dating show so badly.

You can edit that out right, No, I do not know how. Yeah, we don't edit here, buddy, they get. There. Yeah, I definitely want to see a dating show with you. I am so canceled.

My god, Pazzy's comments about David Caruso. It's all gonna come back to this. Okay, what wait, let's just move on. Dracula. Great episode.

So, yes, Dracula and Told is a movie that I thought was entertaining enough. But I don't know that I would, you know, be buried with it the way both of you will. Okay, you know, I feel about this movie the way I feel about Alien Versus Predator. Like, I know it's not a good movie, but it's an awesome movie. It's an awesome movie.

It's so as someone who I think by twenty fourteen, I was kind of no definitely, I was out already on superhero movies. Okay, So I it's tough to. Be like a comic book fan and feel like the mass amount of movies that are being made are not for you somehow, So like this really scratched an itch of. Like, well, I like that shit. I read comic books.

Yeah, this I think delivered a lot more than definitely Marvel stuff, but like evenc stuff, like it felt like it. Was doing it right in a way in a way. So I think that's why I'm maybe a little bit apologetic, or maybe I don't even see like the things that are wrong with it because I'm just so excited the fact that. Exists It's a really interesting lens to watch it end because I've never been a comic book person, so I never had like that full cycle with those movies. I enjoyed a few of the Marvel movies and then suddenly I realized they were getting complicated and convoluted, and I was like, yeah, I'm done.

But it wasn't like and I think we've talked about this, like for me, I've always been hard, not like hard horror, but like I want horror, I don't want like It's why I was never a comic book person in a way, and like superheroes to me, I never got because I'm like, I don't know, like nothing, like there's no real danger to superheroes to me, right and growing up, that's that's very much what it was. And even in recent years, like you can say, oh they got darker, but like they didn't. They still always have to come back to a certain ending and nobody ever really crosses the line, and if they do, they undo it in the end credits are in the next movie. So it was always a thing to me that like this never felt as it was like reading mysteries when I was a kid.

It was the same I'm like, no, no, no, Like I don't know it's all solved. There's nothing. I want something harder and crueler in this part of my life. So this I can see that, like where this does give you the action, like the way the action is where it's not like really brutal battlefield stuff, but it's pretty cool battlefield stuff, and it's it's visual, and it's it's neat, and it's it's choreographed and it has that feeling. And yeah, like I enjoyed a lot of aspects of this, and I was not bored.

You know. And I will say to you know, we do you you Christine? You love the Gilmore Girls, right? Is that you? I've never seen enough thing?

Oh and you haven't either, Emily, Right, I have. I've never been able to watch an episode of that show. I find it annoying as fuck. But for me, you know, a lot of people say it's just like of rich white people with problems, and I'm like, yeah, sometimes that's what I want. Of course, I think, Yeah, I don't want to be challenged.

I just want to go in kind of knowing what I'm gonna get. Yeah, and this was a great action movie and I kind of knew what I was gonna get, but it did it really, really well and beautiful. Yeah. So I'm not saying to turn off your brain, but like, sometimes you don't necessarily need to be challenged with every single movie. Yeah, sometimes you can just sit back and enjoy something for what it is and you know what they're giving to you.

And I think this is a perfect example. And the visuals of this movie. This is a movie that to just watch it like even if you and I mean the music's pretty good too, but even if you muted it and didn't listen to anything and just looked at it, it's gorgeous. And I mean, the costumes are gorgeous, even though they weren't the same Dracula lady. They were by the lady that did Lord of the Rings and who also has an Oscar, So there's very good quality to that.

And like there's some visual stills, Like while we were talking, I had the IMDb pageops the trailer kept playing and I'm looking at it and I'm like, man, yeah, this this looks like a Tarsum movie, which is gorgeous. M h. Yeah, you know, I not to divert, but I recently watched the Last Voyage of the Demeter and one. I was really anxious going into it because, as I mentioned Alien versus Predator, we all know how Alien versus redit or two went where you couldn't see a goddamn thing. And so I'm really burned by dark films that take place mostly at night.

Now, this film and The Last Wage of the Demeter, I feel like they got night shots. It's so hard to do that where it's not just some stroby or you get the pixelization that you usually get with with dark darkness on a big TV. I was really impressed with the way they did night shots in both of these movies. You were able to tell what was going on, and I was happy with it. Yeah that's important.

Yep, so A plus. We do that? Why not? Sure? Yeah?

I know it's this was a like I audited this movie. I don't have to create it. Okay, got all right? Anymore to say on Dracula untooled. For me, and I'm just.

Sad for what they took from us. I will say that once again, I really would have liked to see this universe. As I enjoy the Marvel universe. I actually do like the intes of it and how you know you thinkos about Like I watched the videos that are like, ooh, is does this mean that this character's gonna come in? And what is this character's reference mean to that?

I love those and I hate that so much. I know, I love that shit. I'll watch New rock Stars every day. I love that. And this could have been such a more intriguing like you know, it could have been the Penny Dreadful of the cinematic universe, like I trually bring in it this week, I.

Guess for me, like that's fine for TV. I don't. I don't want movies like that because I'm the amount of time between me watching a movie and watching the next movie, which could be a year, it could be ten years. Like the idea that oh, you're not getting everything because you didn't see the addendum video and stay for the end credits that happened fifteen minutes after the movie ends, like it's it. I'm okay with like other media expecting workout of me, but I don't.

I want my movies to be self contained. That's really funny, because yeah, I mean, I'm that way with television now, and you remember, well I used to be let me say I used to be that way. Remember when we watched Game of Thrones together and I just sat there angrily on my phone the whole time. It was because that show expected too much from me. I don't know who all these people are.

They're all named like Longiness. I don't know what's happening. I don't know who's related to who, et cetera, et cetera. And when I tuned out, when I decided to not watch that show anymore, is when Ario went up to some boat and asked for a ride and they said no, and then she pulled out a coin from her pocket and they're like, oh my god, right on board. And then you and my exports were both.

Looking at me like eyebrows, eyebrows, and I was like, what the fuck just happened. You're like, don't you remember that coin from a year ago? And I'm like, bitch, I do not remember a coin from a year ago. But that's what they were supposed to do, because they do the previously on Game of Thrones, and they tell you what happened a couple of rock stars. It just tells me I can just go and they'll tell me what I need to know before I go see the.

New movie OKA did? What was the other? Was the Mummy? The only other movie they made? No?

Continue, hold on, hold on, I have to I have to look it up. I'm sorry. No, they did the Mummy. Which did either of you see The Mummy? I did like three times.

Oh I don't love. It right now. There is talking. There is talking. I don't know why, as I do know why because it's not accurate.

I just want to I just want the Dark Universe movies. But it keeps giving me what they were always going to do, and it's like, bro, that doesn't help me. It's why robots are not our friends. Everybody, I don't care. Uh yeah, definitely the Mummy.

I think it was just the Mummy. Yeah, you're right, I think it was. Yeah, in my in. My heart, it was so much more. It was going to be so much more, right because then I think you're right.

I think it was going to be an invisible man. And then they were gonna do like Dracula and told meets the Invisible Mummy or something. Oh wait, weren't they gonna try to tie in that Frankenstein with a handsome face? Oh? The Aaronet?

Was it? The Aaronet cart One. Yeah, Aaron, weren't they gonna tie that in? That's what I don't know. Wait, what about the Wolfman.

Wasn't the Wolfman the Benicio del. Toro that was so much older? Wasn't it was like two thousand and eight? Who was Wasn't that what is her name? Angelia?

Wasn't she's supposed to being something. I hope this is all recording, and I. Hope I did press record again. So yes, oh yeah, you know what I think I might be confused about though. Let me just clear this up.

Russell Crowe is in The Mummy as like Doctor Jekyll slash Mister High and they were gonna. Do a movie, so maybe that's not that Okay, okay, back now, they had ambition and then very quickly they realized it was not going to happen. Yeah, well, I regret. It's my one regret in life. If I could go back and change time.

That a duet in Burlesque. Oh God, why do you? Why bring that up? Jason? We were having so much.

Fun and now I have to go to bed thinking about how the perfect movie that is bur Lesk has one imperfection, and that is the fact that they do not have a duet between a Staki and Shirk. Why where would you do to me? You can't go to bed yet because we have one more movie. To Yes, we do. Let's take a quick break.

We're not taking a break, Wenna. I'm gonna say that so that I can hit stop in the recording and then we can come back and talk about Abigail. And we're gonna come back and talk about Abigail. F brokeal bellly. That's thing so strong.

Somewhere inside me. And I'm down, but. I'll get up again. Don't count me. I'm trusting yet.

I've been broad. Down to Mondies. And I've been pushed. Where passed the point of breaking, But I can't take it. I'll be back back on my feet.

This is far from over. You haven't seen the last me. I haven't seen twenty twenty four Abigail. Hey, Hey, real quick. What did you guys do on your break?

I went to Guam. Yeah. I called my grandma and Guam. Wait, we're in guam So City, the capital. Yeah, I assume.

Where they're filming The Mummy too. Yeah, starring Russell Crowe and Angelina Jolie and other actors from the late nineties. I just watched yeah, okay, no, no, what did you just watch? I just watched The Exorcist. Oh, like the Pope's Exorcist or the Exorcist.

The Last Exercise is so good, you guys, but not the Last the Final Exorcist, the real Exorcism. It's called the Exorcist. I think. No it's not. It's called the Something Exorcist.

Yeah, it's what's his name? Who did? It's the the boy we all love, who was the little brother in Teen Witch who then wrote Final Girl wrote this movie that is an Exorcist movie, the Exorcism. Yeah, Russell Crowe has two Exorcist movies, so we really need to be clear about what. Isn't it soon to be three?

Because isn't it l isn't there a Pope's Exorcist two coming up? Maybe not? I hopeless? Okay, oh and holy shit, you're right, this is I am so confused. Okay, I did watch The Exorcism.

Yes, then okay, and oh god, this is gonna make me get canceled again. But Russell Crowe is such a pudgy, little old man. Now it's kind of cute, love adrrible because like you know, Russell Crowe is like the Gladiator to me in my head, I really. Mean the Gladiator. The Gladiator.

So I was seeing in this movie, I was like, oh my god, how old am I? That's terrifying. So do you want me to tie this conversation into Abigail because I got a way to do it. Yeah, okay, I wanted I want to. We're gonna go back in time.

The year is somewhere between like nineteen ninety nine. No, no, it's like two thousand and one, two thousand and two. And I go to a Broadway show with my friend and I think maybe my brother or something. We went to see The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, the Broadway musical. You've never heard of it because it only ran for a couple of months.

It starred a young Kristen Bell in the part of Becky Thatcher. And we go to see this movie, this movie, this this Broadway musical, and it's like a very clear that like it's not a big crowd there, Like it was definitely I think like we got tickets from someone. It was somebody's friend was actually in the show, so that's why we were there in the first place. And it was not a packed house. It was the year that like The Producers opened or something, so it was like everybody was talking about every other show other than this one.

But we're in the audience and the usher it's like me and a couple of my friends, and so we're like, I don't know, nineteen twenty something like that, and one of the ushers was like kind of like we thought he was just trying to flirt with us, because he keeps like at intermission he comes, He's like, hey, you know he's here. We're like, no, we don't Russell Crowe. No. I think he didn't say it. He was like, you know that guy from uh, what's the movie?

Like the Gladiator movie. We're like, were Rustill? Great? Yeah, Russell Crowe he's here. We're like really.

He's like yeah, he's way down. He's like you can't see him yet because I think he's backstage now, but like he's here. He was out smoking. He was like smoking in the back and now he's he's like watching the show. We're like, oh really, And and the entire second act we're like, you think Russell Crow's really here, and of course never thinking why is Russell Crowe at the Adventures of Tom Sawyer on Broadway.

He doesn't have kids, like and it's I don't know, not the Broadway show. You'd picture Russell Crowe going too right. But the show ends and the usher is like, he's leaving. If you leave quickly, you might be able to catch him. So we're like okay, and we all just like run out of this Broadway theater thinking we're go to see Russell Crowe, And sure enough we get to the street and there was a bunch of like other people around us that were doing the same thing.

And we see this like a little old lady in front of us who just like walks over because we see him, this man crossing the street. We're like, is that him? And this lady's like I'm getting him, and she just runs across and with like a program, I think, and like you see him turn around and just look at her and like like shrug and like sign and then like wave and walk away. We're like, holy shit, that was Russell Crowe. Why was Russell Crowe At the Adventures of Tom Sawyer on Broadway.

Can anybody take a guess. A court ordered service? Maybe no, no, So as I on the way home on the train, I'm going through the program and doing the usually what I used to play with the Law and Order game where you tried to see how many actors in the cast had guest Strode on Law and Order. Sure, but I stopped quickly on because I see an actor I don't recognize the name, but I'm looking at his credits and I see one of his credits is the movie Mystery Alaska. I'm like Russell Crowe was in Mystery Alaska.

Russell Crowe came to see his friend Kevin durand who is in Abigail. Oh my god, what a great Yeah. It only took us thirty five minutes to get there, but I thought we had to tie it together. I'm very proud of you. Thank you.

Yeah, the guy who invented the segua. Would we should give you a star? I would just take He died like in a Segway accident, didn't he? Oh? How I wrong?

Killed by the very. Or was it that his name is Segue? There's something really really like wow about that guy. It's one of the two things. Anyway.

Abigail starring Kevin Durant from Mistery Alaska and the Adventures of com Swear around Broadway. You know, it's funny. When I saw this guy, I was like, I bet that's a guy Emily finds really hot. I do that, Yeah, of course I do, don't you. Emily and my mom.

Kevin Durant in Lost, Yeah, yeah, but I I think it might be situationally specific with him. For me, I don't think it's across the board. What's that movie where he's like a cop in a small town where well thing whatever, Yeah, like the monster thing. He's a some kind like he's hot. No idea, but I immediately thought.

Of that movie too, Emily, I don't know. The only two people Dark Something, Wait, and. It's about the sheriff. And then it turns out that it's the mortician who's dressing like a were wolf. Fat movie.

Maybe? Oh did I do the. Movie that's like wolf wolf, Hollow wolf wolf something? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, the guy that was that was murdered first and Halloween killed Jim Cummings.

Yeah. Dark was the Night, Dark was the Night? Yeah it was anyways, Cabby. Starring Dark Was the Knight's Kevin Durant Okay, okay, so I Christine had seen it before and I knew kind of how she helped aout it. But she also said, when you talked about it, you say you said, if you ever want to cover it, I would watch it again because I'm curious.

I'm saying I as in, I'm Christine. You said I'd be curious if I could see something different at the second time. Yeah, I did say that. Okay, interesting, I'm really because I have a little insight. She told us beforehand that there was one of these movies that she hated, and by the process of elimination, I'm wondering, is hate this strong word.

Hate is a strong word. So I'm trying to write horror movies in Hollywood. So I really would like to watch my mouth more. I didn't hate this movie by any stretch. This movie was not for me.

If I had seen this movie when I was fourteen, it would have been my entire personality. This movie is not for me. I am not the audience for this movie. So I am fascinated because I will cards on table. I didn't love it.

I liked it, and I watched it with my husband that this one was like two weeks ago, and the movie ends and we kind of look at each other and he's and it was the rare. Usually it's the reverse where he looks at me. He's like, I loved it, and I'm like, I liked it. I didn't love it interesting And Brandon's such a wild car. You're telling me ten years married to this, wow, And I mean it was, I would say, I because I'm trying to remember like the other because of these guys other things like Ready or Not I really enjoyed and I've only seen it one time.

I know Christine has very strong feelings on it. Brandon loved Ready or Not, and so I think it's like an interesting like Okay, I think these guys are speaking to you. No, I did not like either of their screams, but that those are movies that I do very much feel like I the way Christine, I think you feel about Abigail. I know I am not the target audience for their screams. I get it.

It's the ship has passed me by. It's they're not for me anymore. With Abigail, there are certain filmmaking things I think that are not great. Here, the ending of this movie that goes on for nine years, a character telling another character how to kill her. I don't understand how that can get like how you put that in a movie like that, Like there's some exposition, like some of the writing even and I know they didn't write this, this was another screenplay.

But there's like certain things about this movie that I think are clunkier. And so again, two things I did enjoy. What it's a fun movie. I like it. But the other thing that hurt this movie for me, and I know I said the same thing about The Omen recently, was it's no matter what you do, it's really hard not to hear hype for a movie, and this was one that because with the New Omen it was like movie critics that were saying, this is great, and then I watched it, I'm like, but it's not.

And with Abigail it was like our brethren, it was horror movie fans who were all over this, like this is the perfect movie. I'm like, it's good. Why can't I feel the magic that you're feeling? So Jason, where do you live? Oh?

I'm sorry, Christine, No, I just real quick because you had said it's not written by the Screms and the Ready or Not. But one of the writers is the Screams and Ready or Not. One of the writers is the Hole. In the ground movie okay, which is which is a movie I enjoyed, So I don't know there if I gave you the elevator pitch, if somebody came up to me and pitched this movie, I would be like, please deposited in my hand and me of course, because if you don't know, the setup is these criminals that don't know each other are all brought together to kidnap this little, hapless, tiny ballerina girl who turns out to be a vampire. And this is all a ruse and it's like a killing.

Trap thingy and Matthew Goods at the end of it for no reason, but it's it's that's the movie, and that's in my opinion, it's an amazing idea. I am a from dust Field on Apologist. I will go to bat for that movie until the. Day I die. I think this has shades of that idea, like a zipsy doodle, like, oh, we thought it was a heist and now actually it's like a vampire bloodbath.

But that's a tough thing to pull off, and I think for me, with such big promise, it just didn't pull it off well. And when the marketing didn't let the movie pull off its biggest thing, which. You know you couldn't. You knew exactly what this was the second you sat down to watch. It, and it really and it's such a shame because you're why because I think the other thing that really bothers me about it is I understand why the studio felt like, no, we need to tell everybody it's a horror movie and she's a vampire.

I understand that, but I need to know at what point in putting this movie together they knew they were going to do that. Because the problem is, this movie on paper and on the movie you are watching, does not plays as if you don't know. It is playing this as this poor little girl and oh my god, like these people are so bad and she's so sweet and and it's this weird, dramatic irony where you, as the audience, are like, I don't what is this scene doing because I know she's fine. I know she's a vampire because everything about the marketing has told me she is, so these early scenes of her and Melissa Barrera just doing this like it just it doesn't land for me ext because I know watching it for the first time, but she's a vampire.

She's evil. I know this and I and have they not had to tell you this, it would have been great, Like to go into this not knowing anything would have really been like that twist would have been great. And the moment she says I'm really sorry for you whatever she says, like, I'm like I'm really sorry for you, or like you're gonna be in trouble, You're like wooh, But you don't get that because you know she's a fucking vampire. And it's like forty five minutes before this happens, and I just like there's a certain point wait where you have to like go back and kill your darlings and say, well, this doesn't really work, if you know, but where I'm saying this, and it worked for everybody else other than Christine and to an extent me, Uh, Jason, would you think maybe Jason.

Well, it's interesting, Emily, earlier you stated that you when we were off air during our long long break, I. Think eight times, Thank you very much. I filmed the next Marvel Cinematic Universal Monster movie. Well, you mentioned that there's a story that you tell about me, you know, without using my name, but you've like you tell this story about me because to other friends, and I kind of live on in infamy in your mind. And I have those those as well.

You know, stories that I tell about people I've met over and over again. The person may be long gone for my life, but I still remember this story. And one of them is a man that my mom dated when I was in I believe well, and I guess I would have been high school, who was an empire. No, I wish they dated briefly. He would go he was an older guy, older than my mom.

He would go to the movie theater and just buy a ticket and he'd be like, one ticket, please, and they'd be like what He's like, Oh, I don't care whatever, whatever's playing all this and he didn't know much about movies. He didn't follow movies, but he would just spend an afternoon go into a movie. And this man got to experience from dust till dawn. No nothing wow in the world. He and he was telling me about it one time and like shortly after I remember like this when I was a child, him saying, you would not believe it.

They were they went in the bar out of a vampire and it was so exciting for him and he got to experience that no going in blind and that's what I wish for this movie. Yeah, yeah, that there's that's a big aspect of it. But also also I feel like it was one more polish on the script. Yep, would have been there. Everything was so close, all the jokes were so close, all the scares were so close, and they just didn't hit home.

They were ninety percent of the way there. And if they'd just been given a little bit more, if Carrie Fisher could have came in, if. She were still that's my favorite thing to say, Jason. Yeah, that is beautiful. Yes, And I often I would like to write movies as my profession.

I often say if someone would just let me, I. Won't put my name on anything. Someone would just let me take a look at some stuff, move some stuff around, have some dialogue, just so I can ship out a nice, big block good. Movies like Carrie Fisher. Yes, that's the dream, that that unseen hand to just come in and be like, actually, let's pull this scene out.

It's just yes, I don't want to look. I haven't made a movie, so who the fuck am I going to say? Shit? But like there's there's just it frustrates me more than anything you had. The people this cast is skin yeah, God yes.

And they're so That's the other thing. How much of it is the cast verse, how much of it is the script. It's just like, if if we had just done a couple things slightly different, we could this could have been, in my opinion, a home run. And I can't that that that upsets me, like just from like a like a writer lea standpoint, like I want to fix it. I want it to be it's best thing, you know, because you have and I'm only gonna talk about Katherine Newton for like a minute and a half.

But and then you have somebody like Katherine Newton who does such good work with whatever she has. Yeah, and she makes some of the shit sing and like despite. The fact that like other people are maybe kind of having a hard time with it, she really makes it work. And it highlights like what could have happened with this great ensemble cast if it like like if it had had another go over or just a little more polish or less studio notes. Who you are?

You are so right because it's like the the laughs, like the funniness of it. I think almost entirely from the cast and their timing, Like Catherine Newton flirting is my new favorite thing in the world. Yeah, like she she is one of the Like I don't think I realized it because we I mean we just at least of Frankenstein, Like we know how good she is, Like she's always been good, and you've been seeing her praise as rightfully since like Paranormal Activity four. But something that I don't think I realized until watching this is how well she plays off of people. And like her and Kevin Durand in this movie, the way she like even flirts with Melissa Barrera, Like just the way she's interacting with the other actors is so cute and weird and playful and and yet like I when you like still think of like who her character is, I still don't really get it, Like, oh, she's a rich girl who hacks and just keeps hacking richer and richer people.

But like then you go back your like, but she doesn't really feel like a rich girl like she was your parents. And then this, like there's certain aspects of it that I'm like, I don't this this even doesn't go together. And like some of the timing of jokes, like the penis on the face joke. Yeah, right, Like that's just a I get it, Like, oh, a penis on you somebody passed out, you draw a penis on their face to joke. We've seen done a million times.

Sometimes it canna be done very funny whatever, it's an easy laugh, but like the timing of it and the way it's done is so like you really wanted to get that joke in here, didn't you? And you did, and now it doesn't make any sense because how did he clean his face that that easily too quickly, and now we're never gonna talk about it again. Like it's just it's messy. You're right, it's sloppy. It needed carry fisher.

And I feel like this is they forgot the one rule because they were trying to make a comedy, obviously a comedy in horror movie, and they forgot the one rule of comedy is the rule of threes. Like there's the first, the setup, and then there is the punchback, but then there's the call or the punch sorry, the punchline, and then there's the callback. The callback is incredibly important in humor. And I feel like it was just one beat, this one beat, like there was no like, nothing tied it altogether, even the story about her son, no resolution like this is it just like, Oh, I guess, okay, she's gonna be a mom now, I guess somehow we didn't find out how or why? Yeah, you know she was gonna do next?

How much blood she's lost? Yeah right? How many ribs were obviously broken from being full thrown around a room for forty minutes by two vampires. Yeah. Zack and I gotten a bit of an argument when I rewatched this, because he kept telling me that it was a comedy, and I kept saying, I don't think it thinks it's a comedy.

It is the first thing on IMDb is dark comedy. I didn't get the humor so much that I didn't think it was trying to be funny. Wow, I think. That really, you know, it wasn't for me, because if you don't understand that there are jokes, then clearly like it's already not on the right foot. Like I can't get on board with this because I don't even I don't even subscribe to this.

Level of humor enough to call it humor, not in a mean way. No, obviously you're not funny. But you're trying to be funny, but that's not mean. But I didn't but I didn't get that they were jokes. Like I thought they were like quippy, like Whedon type quips, but I would wheden quips jokes because like Jason said, there's no punchline.

There's things that somebody said that's not a joke. It's it's this odd like because I was thinking a lot about it. And part of this is that the Dan Stevens connection, but also like I think there's a character named Barrett, like like, oh, there's nods here to other directors that just reminds me a lot of which is like Simon Barrett and Adam Winguard who did Your Next and like a couple of those movies. And it was like I often feel the same thing in their stuff where it's I guess the guest was it was Adam win Guard right, that like there's really good stuff there and I can and I and I know a lot of people that love their stuff and like I can never quite get over like a full hump of loving them because there is something and you said, we'd ask like I think there is something to that of characters that have to be snarky and have to be self aware even though they're you know, it's not it's a straight movie, but there is this winking and it's there's something like I don't want to say bro because like horror, bro has a very specific connotation.

And I've listened to interviews with these guys like they I don't know if you guys have listened to Mike Flanagan's podcast. He has one, now, oh yeah, what he does is he he does like an interview with filmmaker with a filmmaker, then they do a commentary watching the film like they do, like they watch the film and do like a talk through of it, and then there's like a wrap up for it. So the first so the last episode was Karin Kassama with the Invitation, which was very exciting, and the first episode, the first set of episodes was these guys with Ready or Not and like they seem like fun guys. I'm sure they're cool. They also seem like those guys that I think we've like seen a lot in the horror community that you know, really like cool shit and do stuff, but you know, don't ever hire women for their projects.

Like, yeah, I don't mean to just go there. But there is something a bit like rowe about it that that, like I think, and I don't know, I might be reading much into it, but once I feel it all, I don't know. I don't think you are. I think this is my This is the feedback I had about ready or not ready. Or not made me feel icky.

Yeah, I didn't. I didn't enjoy it, and I don't want to. I don't want to boil it down to I said I was gonna stop talking about modern filmmakers. On this podcast. I don't want to boil it, tooil it down so much to like it needed a woman's touch.

But like I maybe. Maybe I just maybe a different point of view, a different perspective somebody else's hate good like I don't know, like how they they tend to it seems like they said, there's like women at the center. Of these scripts a lot. Yeah, And I just wonder if maybe, like do the do the women playing these roles have any like input, like I don't. I don't know.

It's just it just feels like it's consistently falling flat for me. And I'm beginning to wonder if that's why interesting, you. Know, and let me interject with a quick story that that will relate. I have two really good friends, and uh, I won't say their names. I won't call them out because they have fairly specific names anyway, it's.

Named Emily, when it's Incristine. Oh no, no. But these two gentlemen that I know, two straight men, two of my best friends in the whole world. They're just great people. Well, I brought them together because we all play magically gathering.

I know I've talked about it before, but with you guys, so I'm such a I'm such a big nerd for it now, and I play magical both these guys. I introduce them and separately, I love these guys and they are some of my favorite people. Together, they are so disgustingly broie that every time they see each other they have to do some new, complicated handshake and I hate it so much. I just hate it, broke anything. I really regret introducing these people to each other, because, like, I didn't know that side of them, and now I see this straight broie thing in front of me, and it's so fucking gross.

You guys, I hate it. So anything that straight dudes do like I've never seen my husband do a weird handshake. What does this mean? Oh it's not a bro okay good? Yeah, No, these guys definitely have pro tendencies.

And it's so funny that the guys that you think are just the coolest, Like, you know, these are both straight gentlemen. We're best friends. They love everybody, every color. They're just the coolest people I know. But when you get them together with their their monkey co partners, they immediately like go back to being cave and.

They start drawing Dix on Kevin Durant's face. They want to spit and fire in the backyard. They have fire batons and like they do that ship and one of them has blown fire with like alcohol in his mouth. He used to do that. Then he caught his beard on fire and it's wow.

One of them motorcycle so like every like like seriously though, like he has like a leather vest and like it's a serious motorcycling. So like, I know one side of them, but then there's this whole other bro side that I just can't relate to. And I think that's the same with a lot of these movies. And let me say, as far as bro humor, I feel like really talking shit about men. We are so I am so too broke BROI men.

Their idea of humor is just saying something like I wave. You know. It's like they'll just. Would mean that. I just found it very funny.

That was fun. We all have a little bro in a in everybody, but like the people who really lean into it. If you hang around a bunch of straight broie gentlemen, they're just gonna like quote anchor man, They're just gonna say lines from things that is not funny, that is not humor. And I feel like that's what this movie was doing. It would just show a dick on the face and be like, oh, there's a dick on his face.

That no payoff, no nothing else, just that, and I'm so disappointed. Over and over and over again. I thought it could have been something great, but it wasn't. Yeah, the the thing. Where she escaped from the little cage they had her in, I was expecting, like, Oh, how she gonna get out of this one?

This is interesting? And then she It turns out she could just push the door down whenever she wanted. I'm like, oh, okay. I mean couldn't couldn't you just turn into a bat and fly out of it right right now. And that's at once.

I do want to say that little girl, I think it's a least show weird. I did love her. I thought she was fantasi. She was great. The cast again just bottom to top.

Ye, every time, every time somebody showed up on screen, it was exciting. Like I said, Matthew Good ends up being the vampire dad and like, very exciting to see him, super happy to see I didn't. I know, I've seen him in things I did not know. Like as soon as he showed up, I'm like Michael Sheen, and then I realized it wasn't Michael Sheen. I was like some other guy that isn't Michael Sheen.

This guy yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He is a what's his name? And the Watchman. He's Ouzy Mandias and the Watchman. He's in that weird End of the World movie where they're all wearing suits.

There's and he's in an Agony Christie thing. Yep. That yeah, so. Handsome. Yeah, he's the uncle and Stoker, which is Emily.

I feel like we just oh yeah, we love Stoker. But like yeah, I was but like again, if you if you show me this cast and show me this yeah, Jim. Carlois Mosito for goodness, thing, I know it. So I again, not for me, but I if there are obviously people that are enjoying it, and I'm very happy they are. I really like Showgirls, and a lot of people don't like that movie, so we're all very different.

I don't know if you go through this too. I mean, I know, Christine, you're probably less on social media than any of us, and like, I'm not on it that much, but like when you see, especially in like some of the movie groups, somebody will post a movie and just start talking about it. And this is like the exact case of a movie where like I know, I would find myself being like, nope, just walk away from it. Walk away from it because and especially in this case where I didn't I didn't hate it, I liked it, I enjoyed it, but I just had so many problems with it, and I think a lot of them are coming even more to like. But it's one where I think I understand completely people enjoying it fully and anything, like I say to be like, yeah, but this just makes me feel like, oh, I'm just raining on Somebody's parade exactly.

I didn't like all when they did the names like the Ray but like I don't. I didn't like that, but like I'm sure some people absolutely lost their minds over how. Funny and great and clever it was, but like I just didn't like it. It's okay, though, yeah, I mean rare because I've also seen reservoir dogs like I've seen that, and I know that because I'm old, so like that's what I mean about if like if I was fourteen, like I would have absolutely loved it. I mean, do fourteen year olds know who the rat Pack is?

Though? Well, I would have because I was very worldly. Right, we did. Like kids kids today don't know things before their time. And I hate to sound like a kid's today that no, but you're not wrong, okay, like that because even when I was a kid, I knew about like Bonanza and like stuff before my time at Peyton Place.

And you know these soap operas that I had never seen, but I knew of them for some reason, you know, I just listened to my parents, I guess, talk about them or they were on in reruns. But like people, younger people I talk to today, they don't know necessarily what like anything was before they were live unless it's streaming on netfliwplix. No, it's very true. They need to and I again not to be reductive, but they really need to like see a video about it on TikTok for some like somebody explaining it to them. Yeah, for them to have, which which is fine.

We just kind of all had the same playing field when we were younger, you know, like people from out the playing field is the Internet, and like there's no way they can all know everything well. And like like the history is longer now, like oh yeah, when we were kids in the in the eighties and nineties, TV had been only been around for forty years. So everything that's that's a really good point at TV has been around for eighty years. So I never realized that. Yeah, yeah, okay, all right, sure I get it now.

All right, I'm the dummy, you know. Let me. I want to make a point before we move on to we can't bring up Scream without me bringing up Scream because whereas I loved the New films, but that is because I love Scream, where it's like, to me, there's no such thing as a bad scream. Film because as long as it goes face back, et cetera, et cetera, and I, you know, we have Gail and we have chases. I'm happy no matter what.

I'm very easily pleased with Scream. However, there is this thing relating to Abagail that like, I hate that. I kind of instinctively don't like Melissa Brera because I feel like she's trying to take over from Nev Campbell. And I know that's not true, but it's like the irrational feelings of like a kid with their new step mom, like you'll never be my you know, like, and I still have that and I don't want to because she is great. So I'm feeling like a lot of this, like dislike this movie might be irrational, and I feel like I have to put that out there, but I recognize that it's irrational, and I'm trying to get over it because I think she's fantastic.

She's a great actress, she's beautiful, she's talented, she does stunts well, she has charisma. Everything's great. It's she's not Nev Campbell. That's the only thing I'm holding against her. I feel I'm I'm proud of you for for voicing that so responsibly and carefully, and I feel like it shows growth on your side.

Thank you, thank you. Yeah, trying to recognize my own feelings more. Yeah, I just I didn't like that. I had no problem with the cast and the screams. I just did not.

I mean, the last what was it, scri five of them I didn't hate. I just felt like, oh, this isn't for me. It's for a younger audience. But it's fine. It it feels like a scream movie.

Screw sixum I hated so much. I I just thought it was I hated the way it was New York but not New York. It felt so convoluted. It felt the stakes made no sense. The killers could only like the the mystery, I don't know the more I think about it, and like the what happens to I don't want to spoil anything on the scream sticks, but the fact that the movie didn't couldn't decide what to do with Courtney Cox, so they leave it open ended.

And then they decide, well, we can't kill anybody in this movie. Yeah, because stabbing doesn't apparently, knives in fake New York don't actually go through your body because you can get stabbed like forty times and then you're okay with the end of that movie, and all of that just really bothered me. So I think, you know, I agree with everything you said, but I cannot give an unbiased opinion about scream So I just don't give it just to just assume that I'm gonna love it. I get it. You've got your screams, I got my step ups.

It's all good. Yeah, exactly, that's my thing. That's all. I got a life, and but sadly Abigail is not what I needed. It was fine.

Yeah again, I think I liked it enough. If this is on TV one day, like sure, yeah, well it can be on, but I I just want to learn it can be on. I won't call the FCC until take it off. I won't complain. I won't, like, you know, bang the radio with my cane and say turn this off.

I love how you know it's weird. I love how new York this is. This podcast is a lot of times because we all lived in New York at separate times and her together, so we can't like give an unbiased opinion about New York either, And you were born and raised there. I love that. Earlier you mentioned that this is so dumb that I'm bringing this up, but it really stuck with me.

You mentioned you're like, you know that game you play when you're on the subway coming home from a Broadway show, and you yeah. Your point. We all grew up with that game, did you, guys not? Wait? Is that like a Long Island New York thing?

Only it's going to shock you but not everybody takes the subway home from a Broadway show. Wait, like you all don't remember the day that you realized it wasn't Law and Order anymore, and now now it was going to be like Earn's New Black, Like you didn't have that realization what it's. Going That's interesting is that what happened? It was a couple of different shows. Yeah, it's it's been a few now, but now Loners has been back and su never went away, So now you can you can safely go back.

To my blood. Yeah, you know, I had that thing when I lived in New York. I'd see somebody and I'm like, I probably recognize them from Law and Order because I knew they were with her in something. And the day did happen when it turned out it was somebody from Orange is the New Black, because I kept trying to run through my mind, and it turns out she was one of the guards in Orange is the New Black, the redheaded one that's like, yeah, kind of square headed. It was her, Yeah yeah, and her big old square head.

So yeah, I was there. I witnessed that change. Everybody that's listening to this can relate. Of course, very relatable to run into. Yeah, I mean, look, all of us, one way or another experienced watching Russell Crowe watch The Adventures of Tom Sawyer on Broadway.

Yeah, that was my watching Russell crow Yes, indeed. Okay, all right, anymore to say about Abigail? I think upset it all? What is Alicia We're doing next? I want her to do everything?

Who was she? She was Abigail? Oh? You know, I gotta say, I don't want to shit on a kid, but like, I feel like she was great. I will say she was great.

I don't think she was like I could see a little girl acting, is what I'm saying. I could see that it was a really good actor of a little girl. But I think she has potential to get past that. I really do think she could be one of the best actors, because I don't think Meryl Streep started out where Meryl Streep is. I'm saying this little girl could grow up to be Meryl Streep.

She's not yet. I mean I thought I thought the way she could did and again, even though I think it was done that the movie even tried to do it, but that her going from like girl Abigail to vampire Abigail. I thought, for a whatever twelve year old actress or whatever old this kid is. I was like, now that she made clear choices that really worked for that for me. Yeah, the thing, I agree, And the thing is, I just saw the choices.

I don't know how I can explain it fair. I can't. Yeah, I just saw a young actor making choices for a movie. And I'm not trying to shit on her. She was great and I think she will be greater.

Right, Just so we're all clear. Jason Hayes straight man, kid actors faces, weird faces. I'm coming up. We're gonna edit this whole podcast. No, I'm just gonna thank it.

I'm not gonna release it. I'm gonna hold onto it for when you're on for Office. Take out all the stuff where I said something bad about very successful people making. Lay your four minute podcasts and play a blowhort. Guys, that means us, this podcast is only gonna be about me talking about the adventures of pump Swinger on Broadway.

And it can't be. It just can't be that it is not big. People will be confused. But like in a good. Way, we could rebrand this to just like freeze about Emily going to.

Broadways a little anecdotes. I mean, I do have stories, you know, just saying I saw Jackie Mason's musical It ran for one week and one week only. I'm just saying he had a fourteen minute number about Starbucks. I love that. Like, you know, a lot of times people are when you live in New York.

I know we need in this show, but when in New York and you mentioned like you see celebrities fairly regularly, they think you're thinking of like Brad Pitt or you know, Angelina, Joe Lee, and like occasionally you might see them, but most likely you're gonna see dB Sweeney like you did. Well, you know, if you're lucky, you will drunkenly accost T B Sweeney like I did. I saw Tie from Trading places, trading spaces. I saw him at the Barnes and Noble one day, like that was kind of cool. It's not like I'm seeing Tom Cruise at the coffee shop.

You know, we're seeing people from Law and Order or just The New Black. I did walk by Jake Jillenhall though in Little Italy. That I saw Deadpool. Reynolds was actually Deadpool. No, it was actually Ryan Reynolds and his beautiful wife who everybody needs to stop shitting on fucking stop.

I saw them walking by Rock Bar one night when I was there with the Bears. That's very fun. Yeah, it's a lot of times it's the Lady from What Not to Wear, but sometimes it's a with celebrities. Anything can happen in New York, kids, this is true. I'll end with one more where one day my I was in college and my roommate called me.

She's like, I'm standing on eighty seventh Street outside of a pizza pizza place, and do you know who I'm looking at inside eating pizza with his kids. That's all she had to say for me to say, you're looking at Chris Maloney, aren't you, And she. Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. One thing I want to leave everybody on or real quick is there's a movie called Torn Hearts with Kate's sigall. Have either of you seen it?

I have not yet. You saw it? Yes? And what are we gonna? What are we gonna?

Oh? I hated it? Okay, so different. Yeah, I was gonna tell people not to see it. As much as you love Kate Siagall, I don't think it was worth the time.

I feel like nothing happened in that movie. But that's okay. We can disagree occasionally. I'm trying to make sure it's the same. Oh my god, I just typed in hearts and auto corrected to breasts.

I don't know, Yes it was. This movie was directed by Bria Grant. I'm a Raya Grant stands so like I'm gonna I'm gonna go to bat for anything she does. And plus it dealt with like older women, which I feel like is something we don't get a lot. So omen older women, kid actors and bros.

Kate in milf Manner. Mil Manner tight. Yeah, thanks, all right? Anyway, I think. I think I think we might be done.

I suppose, I suppose before we go, what a delight it was to have our special guest star, Jason. I'm here, Fossy Hill. You're here. You're wonderful. Tell people where to find more of you, including your book.

Oh nice, thank you. I almost forgot I wrote a book. Dare you? How dare you? I did write a book called called Always by My Side.

It's a Gothic horror romance action book. You see, the best books are all the genres actually, if you think about it. So, it's available on Amazon in kindle or paperback version. You can get it there Always by my Side. My author name is Jason Fozzy Nelson.

You can also follow me on Twitter at Fozzy Bear fozz I E B A R. That's it And everybody should buy and read Jason's book. It's wonderful. Thank you so much. Christine.

You also have books. Where do people find them? Oh yeah, on the internet. My name's Christine make Peace. You can just google me.

It brings you to lots of stuff. Also, if you happen to be a movie producer that listens to this podcast sounds fun and cute, I am. And if we didn't fit you off too much as you're not a straight man or an older woman or. Child, I like everybody, I'm evil opportunity. To be clear, it's Jason who has hate in his heart.

True or breast the sweetest I will not allow to slander. Thank you, I appreciate it. I knew you were my favorite. Well on that note, we're gonna go. Yeah, isn't she Hey?

Hey, where can the people find? I don't even know anymore? I'm somewhere on some I could I I'm I lurk. Now. I don't post anything because they're all hellscapes, but I'm deadly dolls in places and Deadly Doll's House dot com is where there is stuff that I have written.

Yeah, I should say we none of us are like big social media people. So just listen to this show like that. That's the best one. I'll be back sometime, So if you want to see me, just find me here. Sometimes I don't want to.

Don't don't find me any other way. We will be doing a catch episode soon because I watched three Airport movies and I am itching to talk about them. So I'm gonna leave everybody with that that. Uh. I was gonna say, colonel, but that's not the thing.

What's the thing that you like? Tease somebody with carrot. Thank you? Why a carrot? I guess because you're yeah, okay, well pretend the carrot's been dipped in like chocolate or something much better.

And you're all donkeys. I am all nineteen seventies stewardess donkeys. Yes, those things and more. Thank you for listening, everybody, Goodbye bye. My favorite childhood story is brought to life this season as Mark Twain's Tom Sawyer becomes a new Broadway musical.

In this scene, Tom and Becky begin to explore the excitement of young love here to perform. To hear you say my name? Please welcome Joshua Park, Kristen Bell. I think we should get engaged. Oh Tom, I don't say that again.

Say what my name? Tom? It's one word I've heard more than any other. What's different about now? I can't explain.

It makes me feel like I've just been discovered. Oh how I love to hear you say my name. I've heard it said so many times anger when I was called the bar to take lay, But never have I heard it said so tender. Oh how I love to hear you say my name? And you should even change to hear me say and Sun.

It's funny hard never made me tremble to. So nervous and so proud. You see the world can turn on. And oh man, and when it dies, the nothing is this? The pounding of my heart must be an old man.

Oh how I love given you say, my man, I love to hear you say,