Stocking Stuffers 11.4 Christmas Trade with Elwood Jones

I miss your two kiddoth hot widowed dad understating facts. He's hot, he's a widow. Robbie's school. I'm lady Ali. The holiday party is in three days.

I want everything to go off without a hitch. When he took your milk money last weekend and melvined you in front of the whole. School, and that was me, I just wish once you could see how tough it is for me to pull all of this together all the time. Oh yeah, well, I wish you could see all the crowd that I have to go through. Why don't we.

Look like you? Oh my god, Robbie on you? What's happening? Him totally for you? Will you stop looking at me?

Why? Because it's wearing me out? That's why. What does Brockie brother have got to come in? Mister Taylor, it's a start kip you dad.

You're run up and boring and local. Who the whole office is talking about it. They said you had some kind. Of meltdown Ploe. Wait, I can explain.

You're a very good lawyer. I'm sure you can. Mitch Taylor. I see, look who are you? I'm the guy who called the fixture bear here?

I am. I don't worry too. As soon as the part comes in, I'll have your bear all fixed up as good as Jim. Welcome to another episode of The Feminine Critique Stocking Stuffer, Season eleven. We have reached the moment in the in the season we're gonna go back in time a little bit, a good decade to a movie from twenty fifteen.

You heard the trailer, and this has a lot going on and I can't do it, so I have brought in the one and only Elwood Jones to talk and dissect Christmas trade with me. Hello, Elwood, how are you? Hello, Eily, It's very nice to see you again. Indeed, we have to be careful what we say around these parts, because if we say it too loud and use that that terrible wish word, then we may end up body swapping. It's a long flight.

I have no problem with like living your life and seeing what it's like, but it feels like it'd be really inconvenient for us to then swap back being continents away. Yeah indeed, well I don't. I don't know that it would be like one of those perfect like setups for like a freaky Friday swap it's so flight. We live on such different lives. Obviously, you leave the exciting life in the States.

I live the family life here in the. UK storal life. It's held chaos and ta over here, and of your side came coffee. And hot dogs. Now here's a question I hadn't I hadn't really thought of.

Uh, if we were to body swap, right, if we were to encounter a magical Teddy Bear from Santa's Workshop, probably, although we're not going to say that in full, would you speak with a American accent? Would I speak with a British accent? Or would like or is our body like already prone to speak a certain way? You would speak whatever accent of the person whose body you swapped into. Okay, the same way when we look at like Freaky Friday, that their voices voices, but the personality is what changes.

It just happened. So was he Freak Friday came out the same year we're doing this one. Yeah, Well, you know, disadvantage. Let's let's let's be clear their body swap. We don't get enough body swap movies.

I love a good body swap. I grew up with vice versa. That was probably like my prime body swap. I didn't see Freaky Friday until I was like babysitting one day, and then the Lindsay Loewen movie came out when I was a grown up, so I wasn't really like it wasn't a movie that defined me then. But Vice Versa, which I think this movie owes a lot too, I think it is.

That's the vibe it's going for. Have you seen Vice Versa with Yeah, I saw Vice Versa back in the day. I think savage. It wasn't like one of those like going to this going to the theater to watch Vice Versa. It was still like one of those things.

It was just on one night and you think, oh, I just takee that and it just becomes part of your background, still childhood watching. Oh yeah, and it's one we watched a lot for whatever reason. And I still, for me, the funniest stroke in that movie is still when they fight about what the plural of moose is and that it should be nice. I don't know why. That's what stuck in my head from that movie.

It did. I don't know that we have anything as memorable Christmas Trade. And I also find the title very like it should be more playful, and I can't figure out what it should be. But I kept wanting to write because when I saw this movie was on and here in the States, it's on Canopy, which is a streaming service you can get through your library, through most of your public library. It's not every library participates, but it's there that way.

It might be on two B and some others. And I knew. I'm like, oh, it's the the body Swap movie with Billy Baldwin. Great, I won't forget it. But yet every time I went to look it up or write it down, I kept changing the way.

I'm like, it's trading Christmas, a Christmas trade, a trade for Christmas. Like I could not remember the title. It's a very generic title, but I don't know what it should be like Christmas versa. I don't know I have full Christmas swap swap. It sounds so much better than trade, right.

Because there was the one where you like, you like al sit around you exchange gifts and you can swap them. Was it. There's a white elephant. It has a bunch of different names. I know, white elephant is one of the terms for it, where it's had.

Something into that, but like, Christmas Swamp just sounded better than Christmas Trade. Yeah, and I'm looking because I'm like, well, there probably was a movie called Christmas Swap. The answer is yes, there are, there are multiples, but the Christmas Swap came out in twenty sixteen, a year after this movie. They could have taken it then. And then it looks like there is something.

Just Christmas Swap is on Amazon. I can't find out the year, so it's possible they just didn't have the availability. But still, Christmas Trade also like trade being like a term used in different ways, and this is a like for all intents and purposes, a family film about a child and his widowed father. So it just seems weird. And then along with that is the people behind the movie.

So I was curious. As always, I look up the you know, director, and it's the writer director in this case one person doing double duty a Jewels SUSA. Does that name mean anything to you? Did you look up what else the director had done? I looked at what else he had done, and then surprised they had seen anything else he'd done.

I must say he looks like a young kinsky, though on his profile he does have. A very It's like Kinski had an affair with Billy Bob Thornton and they had a child, and that's that's what this matters. Oh yeah, right, he's likely the Billy Bob Bibra out thing going. He's like, that's or the guy who looks like Jim Jimush at the start of Escape from New York. Yeah, I see it.

So I didn't recognize most of what he did, except for his twenty twenty four credit, which unfortunately I'm sure he wishes he was not involved in either. He is the writer and director of Rust, which is the western where in Alec Baldwin, star of this movie of Christmas Trades, brother Alec Baldwin shot a prop gun that was not a prop and the ridiculously horrific tragedy it actually did. He got shot, the director was also shot, and then the cinematographer who died from the gunshot. So like, oh, I feel like, now if I am this guy, I want to talk more about Christmas Trade. It's a ten year anniversary of Christmas Trade.

He should have done a special edition like Q and A and interview so that he could, you know, kind of clear some of the karma and such. But yeah, from the director of Rust. If you wanted to see what the director of Rus could do with a Christmas movie, Well, we watched it, and we can tell. You this is the second time we've watched a film with a director a weird link, because last when we hung out was from the director of Awaken Frightened, Yes, Blood, Yes. And I didn't even look at that.

I just purely like saw the like body swap movie Billy Baldwin. I'm in and I gave you a choice of like two. You were like, iep that one. Yes, oh yeah, and it was like the weirdest choice, because you gave me this or you gave me the film. Greece Olivia Newton Johnson.

Yeah, it's a literary and john and I have a very weird grudge against Living Newton Jump because she did a cover of ELO's Xanadu. Okay, well. Yeah, I mean so many times I'll be like, listen to radio and so oh we'll play Zion and you're like, oh, great, Elo, and then they play the Olivia Newton john version and it's like, no, no, no, no, no. Elo is the only version of the song. Sadly, we don't have any Billy Baldwin covers of Xanadu.

I did look up to see if I could find him singing anything I can't. I couldn't, but I did find an interview he gave about this movie, so I will play really at the end, yeah, he doesn't have much to say other than like, because they're like, oh, so, how do you play a child, He's like, oh, I'm kind of a cute and hort Uh so why don't we go into the the plot of the movie, and then we'll obviously go through our lists, So Elwood, could you give kind of a plot synopsis? Spoilers are fine because I don't know that anything will be shocking in this. You know, made for TV, not Hallmark. I don't know where it aired, but it's definitely not a Hallmark production, although again it follows many of the same shared things.

You'd find yeah with this film, with its three hundred and seventy eight people who have actually logged in on love box sees. William Baldwin played Mitch Taylor. He's a career orientated single father who's raising his eleven year old son Robbie here played by Michael Campion. Both are dealing with the fallout of his wife dying. It's the owner of a small town bakery and he's been Basically both of them are dealing with it in their own ways.

He has obviously moved on and found a new go friend in Deonise Richards Chloe, who put Turns up for about the grant of fifteen minutes in this film, and they're basically at loggerheads because both feel that the others ada and at the same time proposed it's all of like, oh, if you could walk a mile in my shoes, then you would see how hard I have it, Like I have to work for a living and make Christmas happen. Dad's like saying, and you get to just hang out and goof off at school with your friends. They find a bear dumped on their doorstep, which unwittingly grants them their wish, and then they end up swapping places. And now the son has to deal with trade that his dad's doing as a lawyer, and dad has to go to school and deal with being in a Christmas play and school bullies and that sort of fun things.

Tedium ensues. Pretty much I. You know, you go into these movies where like a base level and somehow imagine is to exceed at the base level. That was my first thought with this movie. It's all like, just how lazy is this movie?

Even for a DTV movie? Yeah, it's one of these I watch and I think I wish you were a worse movie, because then you'd be more fun, because there's elements that are pretty bad that made it fun. There are some supporting performances that I like, am so thankful for some of the women in this movie who are giving it there all and just saying like I need a real so I am going to be big in my one scene. Bless them because they keep this movie at least interesting. But it does like there's little conflicts that's one thing and then the other thing.

And I feel like this happens in other body swap movies, like how how young is this kid? Right? The kids? What? What would you say?

Like he's like eleven, ten or eleven? Yeah, thing it's like eleven or twelve? Yeah, I think they mentioned in this film. So if you are eleven or twelve, are you a buffoon? Because when he's Billy Baldwin, like in a professional setting, he's just like he's more like a dog body swapped with Billy Baldwin and now he's a Golden Retriever puppy and he's shoving marshmallows in his mouth and he's drinking.

He's like slurping juice boxes and like just acting like no, I'm not gonna say, oh, acting like a child. Well, yes, obvious he's supposed to be acting like a child, but like the kid in this movie is like an eleven year old kid. He's not three. And that's what Billy Baldwin feels like he's doing. It is weird, isn't it, Because with this kid that they've hired, it's clearly like this Bieber lookerlike I guess at the time.

I guess that was the the haircut at the time. It's not just say his haircut is is like fashion choices. He's like very like young Biber, not you know, Karen Bieber. So that was the main sort of vibe I got off him. But it also felt like so much of this film is like did he have no clue what he was like signing up for that they built this body swap around him.

Well, because as the kid, I think when the kid is playing adult, he's fine, Like I like the kid actor I think is fine. I think he's perfectly capable of doing what he's doing. And when he is playing the body swapped version, I thought he was good. I thought he was playing it like a like an adult in a child's body, and that worked for me. But him before when we see him as a kid, like he's not a puppy, like he's a kid.

And so when Billy Baldwin is then like channeling him as now I'm you know, now now I have the child in my body, it's not it's just so weird because it's like you're not you weren't in the same movie. You weren't watching this kid's performance. You don't know what he was doing. Yeah, he's the Billy Bulban is trying to do like the child thing, but he's just like going much younger than the child he's actually body swapped with. And as you said, already, he's like they're asking for like jukes boxes and redvines and right, it's not because we see we see enough for examples of like you know, the kid in the Grandit body when.

We's a big being probably like like my was I thinking of it? Even if you like cook hit Vice Versa or Friday. They're not devolving. It's as much as this the kid is at least trying. That's and that's the thing.

It's like, it. Doesn't feel like this that the kid here is in any way taking cues or or acting like like he would be trying to do this. And it's very frustrating because I feel like the kid is doing like the child actor is playing it correctly. He's playing it as I'm Billy Baldwin inside my body, and Billy Baldwin is just like, no, I want to be goofy, but it doesn't fit the writing of the movie. And it's very like, dude, come on.

And again that's where direct like, and I am sure Billy Baldwin is probably not the easiest guy to direct on a movie like this. It's very low budget for a you know, young director, but like, just find it, find a line, because then you have other like who are Denise Richards in this movie? Like it was she in the middle of of funeral arrangements while filming this, because she's so dour and so sad and is barely in it, And it just again feels like why is everybody else operating at a three and Billy Baldwin's like I'm going fifteen. It's funny as well because in this one he's not Billy Baldwin. Now he's William baldwinim you know, he's classing out the same way that Larry Fishburn became Lawrence fish Ben because he's now a serious actor.

I wonder if you can like put a bar down in his career of when he made that change, because I remember being confused back in the day because there were so many Baldwins. And I'm from Long Island, where like the Baldwins are like, I guess probably your version of royalty, right, like you have actual royalty. We have Long Islanders had the Baldwin. Everybody had some connection to a Baldwin, like he called your house to raise money for animal welfare at some point in your life time. And there were so many of them, so that then when you would meet, like when you would see there's like, oh, there's an Adam Baldwin that I didn't know there was another Baldwin.

No, he's not related to the Baldwins. Oh, okay, that's confusing. And even though I am fully aware that William and Billy are the same, like, if your name is William, you might be called Billy. There was a period of time where I thought, are these two different? Is one of them a Baldwin and one of then unrelated Baldwin because of the way it was used, Like usually actors aren't interchangeably using their names in credits, but in this case, yes, he's going for William, but yet he's playing it as Billy.

I'd say that. Yeah. It's the thing with the Baldwins is that you look at Alex and then you look at his brothers and it's like you know when you breed dogs too much. Yeah, and makeup is sort of running out and it looks progressively dumber. Yeah.

Alien four, Alien Resurrection, the scene where Ripley discovers all of the clones and they're clones at different levels of like Houscs's while the cloning was That is always what I think with the Baldwins, because they look very much alike. And there's the interview I watched with Billy Baldwin where like he's fairly like clean, like he's clean shaven, he's sitting up straight, like I if you looked at it, it would be hard to realize he wasn't Alec Baldwin in that in that moment, like they very much are alike, but at the same time and again, Alec Baldwin has his own thing going on. There are times when I'm like, yeah, you go, Alec Baldwin. Other times I'm like, oh God, please stop talking. But the one thing you have to say about him is that Alec Baldwin's a really good actor and a very charismatic man and a very funny performer.

And it feels like all the other Baldwins occasionally have moments of that but just can't get there. And so now I ask you, how different would this movie be if it was Alec Baldwin in this part? Oh, I think you could have had Adam Baldwin flight and they would be impassable because you got there's a couple of the low down brother you Billy and the one I mean, yeah, Daniel's enough when he also turns up in like Christian movies like Christmas we have a capital C and yeah. Well, and then Stephen is the Christian one. Because Alec and Billy, I don't know about Daniel are very liberal.

Stephen Baldwin is the conservative Christian born again whatever whatever, Yeah, we gets very I don't know where Daniel falls or reform. I think Billy falls on the left. But it's hard to say I have. More grasp on the scars Guards than I do the Baldwins. There are more of them than you realize.

Too. He was watching a very low budget horror movie recently and I see the name scars Guard in the beginning, and I'm like, I wonder if that's the scars Guard. And then I'm watching the movie it starts, I'm like, no, this movie was made for five dollars, it can't be a scars Guard. But I'm watching it realizing, oh no, that's definitely a scars Guard. Or all the men in was it Denmark?

Like they all must look exactly like that, yes, Sweden. But it turns out no, he's another scars Guard. Just again down that row there's like number seven is currently doing very bad horror movies. So yeah, yeah, can have a scars Gard now exact, yes. The scars Guard for every budget.

All right, so let's dive into the tropes. Now, this is not a Christmas romance, so we do you know that not everything quite applies at the same time, A lot of stuff does apply. So the first thing being our lead in need of a lesson. Now, in this case, obviously this is sort of mixed because we have co leads. Their lesson is not love, but they do need to learn something, would you agree.

Yeah, Yeah, both have got a perspective to learn of the other because they've still very much sort of like locked into their own little perspective following the death of the mother. It was obviously clearly the lynch pin of this family. Yes, And while he's just trying to be I assuming he's more sort of ground because he felt like more like a normal, sort of twelve year old. He just felt that his dad had no time for him. Ye, which is a very traditional trope.

We've seen it many times before. Dad, I think just needs to learn to loosen up a bit and stop being such a workaholic. And I think the only sort of thing for the son is just that, you know, Dad's new girlfriend not so bad. Yeah, seems very nice. Actually, Denise Richard's playing a normal human being.

I was so I mean, I was so excited to see Denise Richards because like one of the very first records we ever did was starts at Troopers, right, yeah, and it's like, oh great Wenn Denise Richards. But it's a DTV era. She's when she's not making weird OnlyFans content with her daughter that she now makes DTV movies. I was like, what does the Denise Richard DTV movie look like? And now I have my answers.

She just turns up and looks kind of bored. And I have seen her in one other of these. It's funny is her and Dina Meyer also have Starship Troopers. Also does a lot of these movies. So does Patrick muldoon.

And it's one of those things when ever Dina Miner shows up in a movie, I'm excited, and she's always great, like one of the an actor who will seems to have never gotten Like no, it's not that she gets bad parts. She's never in a good movie, but yet she's always good whenever she's in And even these bad Christmas movies usually if Diana Meyer is there, I'm like, oh good, she's gonna bring something. I've seen Denise Richards in one other movie where it was similar to this, where it was like, ooh, we got Denise Richards. We can put her name in the opening credits. People are exciting for Denise Richards and they gave her nothing to do, and so that's odd.

I'm sure there are movies where she is the romantic lead, but I just have not put them on my radar as of yet. So I guess that is in a way the love interest. Right. So Mitchell is a widowed dad and he's called out for being a hot widowed dad in a kind of fair to me. That was like one of the funny things in this movie was the other women, like the other moms, who were like, oh, we got one.

There's a single dad and he looks like a Baldwin. He's like a decent bald when he's like a number number two Baldwin. That then they just keep referring to him like with we're like, oh, hot widow dad is here. So that that itself was fun. But there's there's a noticeable lack of men in this town, so the options are kind of limited.

But even like the Sun has his own romantic fingering on or more, he's told he has a relationship, but he's never really mentioned again. Oh you're gonna get me, gonna get me a necklace and some stickers because it's what boyfriends do. And it's like it's just announced. It's like, yes, you have a girlfriend now. Yeah, and it could have been cute, but they like just forgot about it as a movie went on.

Yeah, all right, so let's talk about our setting, because this is no and typically it's a big bad city, a term small town, or a magical winter wonderland. Where was this movie set? Uh, is some small town that's all like going for it. It didn't seem to how like a name as far as I was aware, I I could. Have sworn they said in the beginning that it was Los Angeles.

But yet to your point, like there's one department store in town, right when you go anywhere, you bang into people, you know. So it's treated like a very small, small town version. Of LA And we have that drive through the town at the start where we see Mubbum's old cupcake store, and I felt more like small mountain town, like the outside the house like mountain town. Yep. And it makes sense.

Yes, dad has to go into the city to do work. It doesn't feel it doesn't feel white Los Angeles. It didn't. Yeah, except for the fact that like they get away with it not being winter, right, Like everybody's wearing light clothing. They don't have to, like, they don't have snow on the ground, so it kind of I don't know, and I and I'm like, I grew up in a four seasons.

I grew up in New York, so to me, like, it's always weird when it's hot at Christmas. So unless you're gonna really make it work, like I kind of hate when movies set themselves in LA. No offense to anybody in LA has to deal with this weather and Christmas. Sorry about that. So number four is our dead parents or wife?

What do we get one? Yeah, we go dead mom in the. Very first scene, and you you clocked it. I had actually forgotten this. What was mom's job?

She owned a bakery, a cupcake store. Yeah. How much more Christmas strategy can you get than a dead mom baker? Now let's talk about number five, our sassy sidekick. There's not a sidekick.

There is two. There's a sassy assistant who's sassy and her jumpers. Oh yes, lots of very, very tacky, very I think she has three scenes. In every scene she has a different Christmas jumper. Yeah, she has like that apron thing happening in the first one.

Which she's got a kitten one and another. And for the Sun's side, we have. A kookie teacher, yes we do, you're right. Who even announces to a class that she's going to sleep for thirty minutes where they have a test. She's got an eye mask and everything does within my type.

I got the vibe from her. That was my main takeaway is let's cooky side cake potential. Dating, like right, doing it right? Yeah, the right, the right sort of cookie for me. But there isn't like a sidekick as such, so and I really thought like with his assistant, she would like become more prominent, but instead she's sort of like the headless chickens who sort of runs around and it's like, uh, yes, I can get you a juice box, but what are we going to do?

And then he's like giving the when he's planning the party at the end and it's like, oh, we've got this violinist and we've got high schooltures and he's like, oh, that sounds really boring. What we should do is get like marshmallows and the bouncy castle and stuff. Five year old a twelve year old isn't into bouncy castles. No, right, all right, so let's talk about our villains, because we actually have villains in this movie, and that's exciting because we don't always have them. I'd say we have two, Okay, well we have three two and a half.

We've got the high school bully, which is to be expected, who I was sure had a Scottish accent when he's the first introduce I thought he was like Linus, like her from Rushmore. But then then like Frankenstein's Monster in that Del Toro version, he loses the accent completely that you've introduced with. And then for Dad's got a boss who's clearly been based on the mom from Rugratslica's mom because she was always on the phone, but she's always on the head piece. Well that's the best way, especially in like this era, the best way to establish somebody as a workaholic jerk to give them like a big blue, prominent bluetooth type thing so that they're always talking like you don't know, and they can do the thing where like they look at you and they're talking and then like you gold answer them and they go no, or like they don't have to say it.

They just point their finger at you because clearly they're talking to the person on the phone who's more important. I loved her, Oh really, yes, I needed something to hold on to. And suddenly when you had an over the top, like angry lawyer woman who was just going for it, I thought, I'm like, you know what this is giving me? Like you raise the pulse of the movie from being dead to being something. So I was happy to have her.

I liked her assistance that she walks around with yes, all like. Six like beautiful young women who. Assisted a scowl. Yes, it's like. And then I'd say, we do have again, not really a villain, but like a character that get that can cause trouble.

Francis's mom, right, Trish we mentioned earlier? Oh yeah, who was just another mom from school who has a crush on Mitchell. Did you recognize that actress? Do you know who's this is interesting? So she is sort of lineage royalty because she is.

That actress is named Jennifer Grant. So her most probably notable like performance was on nine or two and oh she played Steve's girlfriend. She's the one that there when Brandon and Steve are on a dating game show. She's the bachelorette, uh, and then Steven her date for a little bit. That's all well and good, but more importantly, she is the daughter of Carrie Grant and Diane Cannon really and she actually does look and like speak like a combination of the two of them.

So that was just a fun like, oh, look, Jennifer Grant is in this movie. That's cool. She doesn't get much to do, but I thought she was also like kind of funny in what she was doing. The supporting actors in this film fell a lot better than the main actors. So anyone who's like you would recognize to have been the main actor don't do particularly well here.

But like all the supporting sort of casts, she was good. I mean, as a sa she's got that cougar mom vibe. But yeah, she was. She was perfectly fine. I didn't really see her as so villain by I suppose she is, because obviously she's there to mess up the relationship with Denise.

Rich Is his character because we have that scene where he's in the departments store and he's playing with all the kids, because there's many scenes of him playing with kids, yes, in this film, and soccer skills yeah, he but he's not just playing with the kids. He's acting like a child. And apparently this is very attractive to the women in town. Well, obviously that is deep down what every woman wants, is they want to look at a man and see a Baldwin who's actually seven years old, a seven year old puppy. Who's also making lightsaber sounds with a role of Christmas wrap.

Haven't you done that? Though? Haven't we all done that? I thought everybody doesn't. I would have thought that that would have been out of like with been out of style for when this film came out twenty fifteen.

Well, this is a kid that probably grew up with the prequels, right, oh right, this kid's like it was born probably like that was probably on rotation. So yeah, I'd buy. It because obviously, you know, being kids in the eighties, like Star Wars is very much like at the background. Even as much as like Disney and the Prequels tried to kill your enthusiasm for I think they've just about succeeded now. At all.

It's a whole it's a whole new world. I guess. But at the same time they're just pumping out alien and Predator movies and that's really good. So again it's like a living Newton John. I've got this whole conungeum with the Disney Corporation.

It's like it's like you're killing Star Wars and Marvel, but you're giving me a more Predator. It's like, oh, this is sort of balancing out. I know. They found like they find a way to get everybody right. For me, it's the Muppets.

It's like, no, I'm don't need Disney. Oh crap, you did another Muppet thing. Yeah, it's it was so good. The Muppet Office thing they did last. Time, the one from like two thousand and I was fourteen, the one that was Yeah that the Muppets, the TV show that was the documentary.

Yeah it was yeah, it was like watching the Office. It was no brilliant. That was the year that ABC somehow was catering to me because they had the Muppets, they had Gallivant, and they had Agent Carter, and all three shows were not doing well at all, and yet they like kept they were like, no, we're we know they're good, so we're going to keep them going. And all three of like stood the test of time even though they were all eventually canceled after another year, but still, I just I can't. Believe how many times of rebooted the Muppets now and they gave it one season and then they like bring it back in it like, yeah, we're bring the Muppets back.

It's like you've done it at least two times in recent memory. But the same time, it's one of those things where I think when something is aimed at a younger audience, there is something to the idea of like you can reboot something every four years because the target has sort of aged out and now you have another target. Like I have a niece who's twenty years old, and for her, the Muppets and Muppets most wanted are like the way Muppet Muppet State Manhattan was for me, Like she grew up with them, and those are like definitive to her. She has since gone back and watched other Muppet things like that's gonna be her Frozen and Amber moment. So in another five years, my younger nieces and nephews will have a new Muppet property.

So it's you know, good good entertainment stands a test of time, just like Christmas trade, right, Oh yeah, yeah, montages. We're up to number seven. I don't think we have montages as such because everything just seems to happen in real time. Yeah, there's a lot that seem like they're gonna be montages that aren't that much. Like the opening credits is so of like here's what the here's how the kid gets ready, here's how the dad gets ready.

Because they have like sceince you would assume would be a montage, like when he goes in the shopping street with dad's credit card. True, yeah, it's yeah, it's yeah, but it's still him moving around in the location, right, It's like him going to buy a necklace and then him playing with wrapping paper and him picking up a toy and so on. So i'd classicate with that. But there is a good one. The when child Billy Baldwin, uh is I think he's going to school but he's trying to keep adults.

Billy Baldwin with child in him home and the dog walker comes by and he's like, dog walker, I'm gonna pay you to babiesit my dad, And it's basically the dog walker just like in the house wild jingle bells plays and Billy Baldwin acts insane. Right, Okay, so there's a few and then I guess there's a Christmas pageant. We're like the twenty five year old children seeing jingle bells. Those kids are really old. Yeah, nobody, nobody seemed to have any commitment to the bit whatsoever.

Yeah. Yeah, I think they like realized they needed kids on stage and found some short adults and tried to put them in bad lighting so you wouldn't actually tell that they were in their thirties. The when he gets the end, and it's sort of like where you've got adult child who's sort of like then he's trying to remember the bits and he's like comparing it to his bar exam and it's not like, yeah, they're comparable. Makes sense, all right? So number eight is slapstick?

I don't know was there slapstick in this movie. I think he thought he was doing slapsticky style comedy. He clearly thought that he was being a lot funnier than he was like, And there's so many bits where you can see the going well, the joke they were going for, and it falling flat, like he's been rushed into the meeting and he's like, I need folders I need post its and fings. And then you obviously got the back and forth where he's the assistant guys holding onto the onto the folders. He's like, oh, one minute, one of these let go and it's all gonna flap.

But these posters just like flap on the air and then just fall flat. It's not a scattering I feel like a lawyer actually, And it might have been ad lib. The lawyer says something right after. He's like, well, that that made a mouse. That was again one of the few like funny moments in the movie, and I don't think it was scrpted.

Yeah, And weirdly, when they go into the meeting, and my mind just went to like burdemic for some bizarre reason. I was just like looking in the background and like looking for like actors trying to like get a talking bit in like improvise something just they can get their sad card. Yep, yep, because that's basically how your sad card works is if you have a talking bit in a movie, you can get sade cards. Yeah, and a lot of these guys looked like they really wanted to sack. Well, we do get a spit take that again, like I don't remember it, but I wrote down it's more uncomfortable than funny, Like it felt like that, Like it made me like like I could feel like being in that meeting and being like, oh god, we get a I just feel like a cat.

But walking in front of me. I love it. It's I have to close my door is closed back here and I have barricaded it. I have to move like a heavy box in front because there was my cat tries to break her way in and she just won't stop talking when she's in. So a cat, a nice cat, but walking across my screen.

Love it? Yeah, yeah, we have that. The same way, he's like supposed to be drinking the juice box and it just goes on and on and it's like the w was smallest juice box, but he's drinking it like he's like got one of those big bottles everyone has in the gym, and still imagine is to like do the panic squeeze, spit take, and it's like how much juice is in this juice punks. And like he ends up spitting like on the client in a way that again like it's not funny, it's just gross, like and granted it like this is post COVID. It's you know, we I think we probably like think of it different, but it like it really was just like like you could do that in a funny way, but this doesn't.

We do get Chekhov's law of a swimming pool right. If there's a swimming pool, then Billy Baldwin's gotta fall into it. We don't see him in the water, but we hear him fall. We falls into Was it in the pool? Was it a moat that he falls into it?

It was some form of water in a place it shouldn't have been. Yeah, yeah, because he's playing football with the local kids. Yea. Yeah. And don't forget the last one that I had noted was the treadmill.

Cause again, if you put Billy Baldwin on a treadmill in a comedy, he better fall off the treadmill, which we here happen. Do you think he has ever walked in a treadmill before? Because it did not look like he understood, but he was like I'm guessing it was like I'm kind of imitating what he was doing. Now, Like was that essentially like his version of walking on a treadmill? He seemed to use it to pull this energy in that opening shot where he's just like running on the treadmill and then it's like, yeah, that's about all the exercise I'm going to do today.

It just seemed to then realize, oh, wait, the scene's going on longer. Yes, and I still had to be on the treadmill. Yes. And the idea that like it's like his lunch break where him and Denise Richards I guess work out on their lunch break, but like she's on the treadmill with like her hair all done and her makeup on, just like again walking like the long walk style, like three miles an hour. Just like I don't believe that that's how Denise Richards works out based on her body in this movie, Like she's not ambling on a treadmill.

It was so when when she turns up because she's so it disappears from this movie for the longest time. She's there, start and then she disappears, and then it felt like, oh, I was going to the gym and I'll put some time in on this movie. It's like she had other things to do, Like she had a guest fast for the gym, so she's like, yeah, sure you can come and film with me. That's basically it's so like, yeah, I'm going to move to Tassie. It's like, I've got to go to the gym, so let's just create a scene where I go to the gym.

Yeah. And they were pretty just so like yeah, whatever. Okay, well we'll take it. We have three days to film, let's do it. She seemed to be on a much more limited like contract and I don't know where Denise Richards had to be that she couldn't like fully commit to this movie, but it felt very much like we had her for like a day or so.

Yeah, definitely, And it really says a lot when Tom Arnold is the shining point of your movie. Yeah, so let's talk about that because I feel like that's kind of where nine ten come in, which is Sage old person, it's Santa Claus. I it's when I looked at the description of the movie, I didn't see Tom Marnolds. So then when I turned it on and like I see him like third build or whatever it was, I'm like, oh, okay, we got something going now. So to tell me about who Tom Arnold is in Christmas Trade.

Uh, tom Arnold is the customer support. He or the it's the best way today basically because with this bear they find a number and their phone only help support and he just randomly turns up at the door and it's like, Oh, I see what's wrong here. Someone set this bear to evil pretty much because and it felt so weird because the Bears seemed to be like working off. Oh, if you make a wish, then I'm going to come to life. Same with like all these sort of like totems and things for body swam.

But no, according to Tom's character, is like, oh, it's it's faulty. It must have got like damaged in shipping, right, So I've got to wait for this part to come, but it's going to take three days. So you've got to like keep this going for three more days and then come back with the part and and fix this. And he really commits to his beds. He's only a very small part in this film, but he's fun yeah with it.

He's really lighthearted in it and does his his lines well and his whole performance as well. And I was very surprised because Tom Manold is not this is a guy you expect to be the shining point to your movie. It doesn't speak well to your movie. If he's violent, he's either awful or really like giving us sort of like a true lies tom Oland tweets I switched on and he's sort of like really lays it in on his lines, and. I would gather like because this was again clearly like an afternoon of having Tom Martle on set.

I bet he's one of those guys who, if he's in a good mood, you're gonna get a great Tom Mardol and everybody's gonna love him, and he's gonna be great on set, and he's gonna just like, lighten up your movie. It's gonna be great. And if he's in a bad mood, you are getting like just a pile of poop. Because I have seen both versions and it's not like, oh, he couldn't do this part, like no, no, no, he's playing the same part in this other movie. And yet he's insufferable.

And I wonder how much it is just like you gotta get him on the right day. Yeah, exactly. He's such a a long his longevity has been incredibly surprising. He's my divorcedxann to Rozanne Man. I remember I watched and I loved and it was probably what like nineteen ninety four or so when they were married, and he had a sitcom on Fox I think called The Jackie Thomas Show, where it was a one season show where he played like the lead of a sitcom who was really dumb and the show is about all the writers trying to like work around him, and I remember being very funny and it aired for one season, and that's that was my fold experience.

And then he did that that show where he for Vice where he was going to expose the truth about Trump, and it's like, do we really think tomld He's going. To have like all that's something I'm kind of like. Trump's first run as president, and he was sort of like it's I knew him back in the eighties and he was an idiot then, and it's just basically. Only we could all listened to Tom Arnold, everybody. Him going through like footage and documents that were out there already, and he was sort of like just doing the Louis thru bit where he was just sort of like presenting information but like interviewing interesting people about the topics and like the videos being shown and stuff.

And then as his lunch break, he would go and film a movie like Christmas Trade. Yeah, I mean I don't hold it against him. I mean we all got to pay the bills. And actually say, with so many of these, it's like the actors who aren't getting offered other parts, but they can go and do like three or four Christmas movies. And like, he works a.

Lot in this, in this very particular genre. Again, he's not on homework. He's he's in the mar Vista ones and the Lifetime ones, and he sometimes can really like bring life to it, which he does here. And the one thing I couldn't figure out. At one point he says like, oh, your dad doesn't remember, but he had a bear like this when he was a kid.

Right. Did you catch that? Yeah? It seems like they were hinting that this is some alternates sort of like a plot where the bear is sort of dropped off at families who need it. So I think the bird gets dropped off with the businessman at the end.

It wasn't too clear whose door is stop it was because you know the dad's doing that. He's handling the case for that businessman. And it's established that he's got a younger son, but a much younger son, So I don't know if they were like setting they were trying to set that up, and it was sort of like, oh, it's sort of like this secret plot where we're going to steal festive cheer in people by body swapping. It's like the Box but Christmas. Yeah exactly, it's it is the Box.

I like it. I like it all right, So we kind of we don't officially get Santa Claus, but I feel like Tom Martole is very heavily hinting that like, of course this is this is from Santa Claus. He's more like Elf viae Busney. Yeah, very much like he's head Elf and he's just like, yeah, well you know what the guy in charge had to say about this. So again, like it's not explicit, but I think we can safely assume that we have Santa Claus here.

Oh yeah. Even like dud jokes he makes, he twists them so that charming is sort of like, oh, yeah, we once had a rocking horse, so it was supposed to go to like Divada, but it ended up in Alaska? Can you believe that? And it's like that's an awful joke, but you've turned it into a charming He made it. Yeah, he made it very very charming.

Ready for the bonuses? Sure, all right, So our public domain holiday songs, we have a lot of them. Did you catch them? I certainly called them because they were like like punk versions. Of the think yep very much.

But they went like obvious choices. I want to say there was a little drum boy in there, but I could be mistaken. There could have been. I didn't catch that one, but they went they went the usual offenders. Oh, I mean the ones I might have missed some because the ones I caught were all like rock jingle jingle bells, rock Joy to the World, rock Deck the Hall or no Deck the Halls were just the kids singing Deck the Halls.

But then there was a rock version of Deck the Halls during the shopping montage. Yeah, and we. Had Silent Night like we had I feel like they like hit all the all the big ones, and you're right to an extent. Some of them were more like I do the world like that kind of attitude. Yeah, it's very much like YouTube pop punk bands.

We found. There was one word salad Christmas song in the beginning the opening credits were I didn't write all the words, but it was Christmas lives in each and everyone to come out and bring the fun. I don't want to know if you're covered in snow. That's all that I got from the lyrics. I was fully expecting Billy Bowl when to a rap.

I just wanted more in that regard. Does it as either as the child version or as the adult version that he would find it. He would burst into a rap because we see on the cover he's there with the skateboard and the backwood cap, and it's so like you got to do a rap. The cover of this movie is and the and the little boy is wearing this really oversized suit with like you know, the arms hanging down, and but it's like Billy Baldwin, like you're saying, he's there with a skateboard over his shoulder. It's very how you do in Fellow Kids.

Like it's very like the Saw, you know, the Jigsaw in Saw seven when when Saul goes to the book signing and he's wearing a backwards baseball cap, like e's so that And I was so hoping we'd get more of it, and we don't because instead the kid he plays it like he's seven, as opposed to playing at like a ten year old trying to act like he's fifteen. Whether plant lines are so detached that neither of them really help each other. No, which is what you normally expect, is that you know that they have to find ways to creative ways to help each other. I understand one another. Yeah, but they just basically set up on their own pass and it's like, you're a kid.

You've got to do your dad's job. Your dad, you've got to do the kid's job. Yeah, there's no crossover, there's no. There's no real moment of like, wow, I didn't realize how hard you have it. Wow, I like now I understand what you're why you do what you do.

Like, it's just kind of like, hey, dad, I approve your girlfriend. Here's an engagement ring for her, Like right, oh yeah. It just basically boils down to, oh, I can just basically go on a shopping spree, get the dog that I want, and have all these things I want, and it's going to be all Fun's gonna remark, Dad's gonna remark, Wow, my credit card got quite the workout and. I almost got fired. So we should have thought about that.

But to give it a little bit moraty like, but I kept the receipts. Yes, yes, even though I left all my stuff there when I thought that when I accidentally kissed Jennifer Grant. All right, So number two is our family recipe, which I didn't really get all the holiday cocktails. Instead, it was more the idea of like kids like juice boxes and marshmallows. Uh what that makes pancakes?

Oh, it's been surprised of. And it seemed like the sort of recipe that he had practiced or that he had got from the wife. Because the kid comes down in sort of like pancakes, and it looks so skeptical and it's like, wow, pancacakes. I don't think pancakes are going to help, and the pancakes and the like really good pancakes. Were you married to a baker or something?

Yes, exactly. Let's see. Number three is our small business in danger? No, just like yeah, well, I mean I guess the bakery closed, so we know that. Yeah, that's yea, the small business.

But his law firm apparently all hinges on his performance. Yes, that presented is a big law corporation. Because she's speaking to international clients. There's probably only two lawyers in this firm, ones are paralegal, and it all hinges on him handling this case. So I guess there is a probably very high cost law firm in danger.

Let's see the next one. Product placement. I don't think anybody would have paid to be in this movie. Or I don't know why my cameras uoming or suddenly I'm getting like a my cat's be giving me an attitude, like for those at home. My camera is doing this like like extreme close up, extreme zoom out on me.

I don't know why, but yes, as soon as your head turns, it's. Like I know I have a new camera. So the camera, the built in camera to my Mac just died on me, and briefly the one it work did too, and I thought it was like did my face kill computers? But it turned out my computer, my MacBook, it's like nine years old and it's perfectly fine except for the fact that the camera won't work anymore. So I had to get this very crappy little extended camera that is now possessed and acting on its own.

Anyway. Product place meant nothing that I clocked you. I was sure that there was something on the juice box. I thought they were like minute yeah, yea yeah, And the juice boxes also turn up at the party at the end the camera around in a silver tray. Yes, which again like could have been cute if they, like if this movie was written, I guess, because the idea is fine, like oh see, like it actually it's kind of fun to be at an adult party, but to be like eating like you're a kid.

But like if it was a juice box, like in a wineglass or something, I don't know. There was elements to the party which like works, like the big mock presence, and then you have things like the pedal car plane. Yeah, and it's like, why is that that that's even too small even for child? You to think that's a good idea. And a bouncy castle for the one child that's there, and a bouncy castle that's like young child's size, not like one of the ones that you could get for adults at a drunk party.

It has to be the most famous bouncy castle in the world. It looks so solid. It was a very sad look that child was not getting any bounces with that thing. You're very right about that, all right. So after that we have cloying.

Child's Despilly Bowlwyn playing one Yeah. Yeah, because the kid's fine. I wrote down the annoying little girl scouting one liners at the department store, but I don't remember what that meant. Oh, she's basically when he goes to buy the necklace, he's buying a necklace and he's buying a tie. Yeah, and she's making making comments.

And I thought she was gonna be much more of a character, but she just never appears again. Yeah, because it's the boys trying to buy a necklace from the jewelry counter and the jeweler counter is just ignoring him completely. And there's a little girl that's just like, yeah, it's hard to be a kid, and then just keeps having lines like that, and thankfully we don't see her again. Now we have his girlfriend that's thrust upon him, who like the Poplar girls, but they don't really do much. They just make demands for stickers and necklaces.

We got the bully who's got that line, got the wicked burn of the up in a tree. It's like because fast and it's funny. Well, I mean, I'm laughing now, but that's because I just didn't have much to laugh at during the movie. It's as I said before, it's all like you expect this very base level with these Christmas movies, and you think I'm gonna find this like enjoyable into some like base level. I'm gonna switch my brain off and just go with the clone this.

But this just felt lazy. It was and it was ugly, Like it just wasn't pretty in that way that at least you can like kind of forget that you have to pay attention and just look at stuff like. It wasn't attractive, it wasn't charming. It was just like and it was very heavy a movie. I think, like it didn't have a light foot to it in a way that I want frost to my movies.

No, it was it was missing peril. I think it's the biggest there's no big like drama. There's no big villain of the pieces antagonistic characters, but there's no like big villain. There's no like what's the stakes here? If Mitchell gets fired, like I have a feeling you can get another job.

He's a pretty good lawyer. If boy gets in trouble at school, like he gets in trouble at school and will be okay, with it because it was Dad like, I don't know, we gotta like normally, I don't know, I can't even remember some of the stakes in other movies. But you could have like the big concert like Freaky Friday, right, it's a big concert and it's a wedding, and it could be like one of those like you have to save the town, you have to save the small business, you have to like impress the girl. I know, there's just nothing and it's like it's three days and then it's over. And normally when you have like the parent in this sort of position where it's over, he's like this high pressure job that they've got and that the boss is such an ogre and it's all like you're gonna work Christmas Day and at the end they just like you can take this job and cram it.

And I was like, that's what's gonna happen here. He's gonna like walk out on the job. He's gonna tell him where job, take the job, and then we're gonna have a scene of him in town where he's now like small town lawyer is gonna wear played and he's gonna hang out with the locals who by that point they will have cast a few more. But in this it doesn't because instead it's like, well, lucky for you, the client you were supposed to press is also a bad dad, and you got to make him feel like a good dad for five minutes, so everything's okay. I kept hoping that be like the town square scene.

Yeah, of like all the all the local townsfolk around a big tree is singing cows, and there's nothing like that. The only party we get is that sterile party that a kid thinks is really cool. Well, at least we do have number six finding the perfect tree, right, the boy is very insistent on getting a tree. That's true. That's something.

Which is just more foundation for you. Don't know how hard it is to be an adult in this. You just picked the first one that you saw dad, and he's still like you think Christmas just happens. It's clearly not happening a toll in your house. Let's see number seven, empty coffee cup acting.

We don't get it, but we do get We get spittakes right with like him drinking coffee and. Oh that's a really precise bit take he nails that planet from quiet distance. Yeah. I think it's because we had that one joke about the fact is DCAF coffee. Yep, and that's that's it, really, But I assumed there was something in it because he'sbviously got to do a spit take.

So but then he switches to juice. So let's see actors trying hard to not take a bite of anything on camera. No, I feel like Billy Bodman's the kind of guy who's gonna eat when he wants to eat on camera, so I don't. He's eats marshmallows, the kid eats pancakes, and there is no other substance in this film whatsoever. Yeah, he did not have a catering budget.

Yeah, I didn't clock. Again, I'm pretty sure it was filmed in La so I didn't clock any canadianisms. Yeah, warm Weather Watch is number ten, and obviously it's in California, So they're justified the entire time, right, Uh, Next one old people aggressively matchmaking. No, but we do have a child buying an engagement ring for his dad's girlfriend without his dad's consent. Right, Yeah, because the girlfriend is sort of like, oh, I don't know he's gonna accept me, and the dad's self like, well, I've not brought a woman around in all this this time, I don't know how.

It's gonna hurt, right, not judging right, like everybody recovers on their own time, but like it's it's it's pretty soon to be engaged. I got really lost in her character art because it's all my mom saw me with my niece and she's there give me the thumbs up, and it's where she really wants me, And it's so like, does she even want to be a step mom? Or is she just doubted your ability to be a step mom? Yeah, it's there's another movie there that also wouldn't be very good, but feels like it needs to be told somehow. Now, the last part is where we do the fashion like our favorite fashion moment now And unfortunately, like I didn't write anything down and this is usually my favorite part.

Nobody looked like we had a party, right. I love a party. A Christmas party in a movie means you get to wear dresses. And I don't remember anything from it. I think Harper was wearing blue.

Like there wasn't even like red velvet to be found anywhere. Anything you clocked. The only one that I clogged is to see assistant in Christmas jumpers. Yeah. See.

Everyone else seemed to be like doing their own wardrobe. Yes, and as if they were going on like a job interview. Or to the gym, or like not even to the gym. To like lazy mom yoga like it right, because it wasn't like a like a real like. I don't think she would hear a sports brawl like.

She's just there and like a because she's got her hair down and not in a way that you'd wear when you're working out. She does have a nice dress when she turns up with the past at the end. Okay, okay, But other than that, you see the assistant who's just got got prime game. I think the assistant in the Kookye teacher. True, I've got the best the two best outfits in this.

Everyone else is sort of like whatever you got in your wardrobe, you want a suit, just. Come, you're gonna film it all your scenes. So if you can bring a card again to make it look like you're in another time, that'd be great. But we don't even get a pea coat. No pea coats.

What is a Christmas movie without a pea coat? No? No, no, no. Even the bear which is creepy as all. Hell, freaking creepy bear.

Its eyes light up. Yeah, and it's very like patchworky, but not in a charming way, right, It's not like it's sort of like Scarecrow like in a way where it just feels like different material over the year was so despair together. And again there could be a story there. But again, hey, if you turn this into a movie, I would take it. I would totally see that as a colored dole bear of ingots.

So o. Well, So, having said all that, do you recommend Christmas trade? Oh no, no, no, no, it's a good god though, No, no, no, this is this is bad. Yeah. And this is coming from someone who has very rock bottomed tastes yep, like for someone who'd like, like, just like yourself.

We spend a lot of time in like the depths of DVD. Hell, and this is bad. Yeah. Yeah, and it's not bad enough to be fun. I think that's the problem I have.

Yeah, it's not. It's just kind of it's very low energy and it has a big concept, but it doesn't know how to make it work or do anything of interest, so it just ends up like this isn't ninety minutes. It does not feel like ninety minutes. It feels so much longer, so very much. It suffers because it's lazy, and it also doesn't give you anything to latch onto.

Yep, Like even if you're watching like the sci fi shark movies and things like, you know why they made so many Sharknado movies because there's like likable characters you can latch onto, or there's funny bits that keep you engaged in it. There's nothing happening here and it just feels just so I just keep going back to it. It just felt very lazy. Yeah, there's no stakes, there's no one to really engage with, and the comedy is just torturous at best because it's like Billy Baldwin trying to be funny. He clearly thinks he's being like.

This. He thinks he's given a big performance. He thinks he is going big and taking chances and it you know, he's not phoning it in give him that much. He's trying. He's just not very good.

No, he's It's surprising how you can be out your depth in a DTV Christmas movie. Yeah no, but it also it also goes to show that this is not as easy as it looks. And when you you know, you watch some of these movies with your lacy shibers with like Hallmark has this stable of male actors, like I can't remember their names offhand, but they like appear in a lot of these movies, and it does teach you something of like, oh, no, there is there's a way to do this right. And you're still especially the male roles are never going to be the roles that you remember, but there is a way to hold your own and to make it work. And I just don't think Billy Baldwin knew how uh and you know, so this is there.

It's on canopy. You don't have to pay for it. I would still not suggest you watch it. But we've both seen worse. Yes, I'm just trying to I'm trying to think of like where is my rock Bottom?

And I'm thinking, like, the worst movies I've seen have been like that. No Clark's kid Olthood or pretty much any film with No Clark. In Okay, I don't know it. Oh basically, No Clark, prior to being outed as a sex pest, was not doctor who is Mickey? He was like the comedic psychic and He got very upset because everyone swim as a clown.

So his counter was to create this tough guy persona that worked in his head. Then he made these movies called Kiddothood because it's you're not a kid, you know a don't it's kiddlethood. Okay, he's actually justifying this. I had the unfortunate pleasure of having to like sit there an interim while he's wheeling this off and just you know how you sit there when the cars coming at you, just just sit there with that frozen expression. It's like, Okay, that's.

When you say, you know what, I have a movie to recommend to you Christmas Trade. Yeah, exactly, so you can recommend it to someone, just not might be for the right reason. I try to remember, like, what's the worst thing I've ever seen? I think it's that Albert Pun's movie The Wrecking Crew. We did with like ice Cube and maybe like of in Love.

He did like a bunch Room, and they were like well with rappers, they were old DTV ones. You did one with like Snoop Dogg and he did one with sl like The Corruptor or whatever. But I think that that was my baseline for like bad movies, and I think this somehow might surpassed that. Oh no, I mean I've seen worse of these. Would you say it's worse than this?

Oh god, I'd have to go back through the list again. I put movies in very specific camps, like I'm not going to compare this to a bad horror movie. I can't compare this to an action movie like this has to sit in the mar Vista Christmas movie cannon of really like fairly not super low, but like low ish budget, low ambition, make it for Christmas film. It quickly put it out there like the thing. The one thing I'd say for it is like, there's nothing offensive in this, Like there's no I've seen ones that are so very much pushing certain agendas, and this one, at least, it's like I feel like it's heart was was somewhere.

It just had no soul to it. So it doesn't actually do anything. But there's moments that are okay, And I've seen worse performances than Billy Baldwin in this. I just have to go back and figure out what they were. But probably the low point for the year.

But let's hope, Oh god, I hope it's the. Low points for the year, I would say, wwe put out another. You know, they put out one about ten years ago called The Christmas Bounty that was actually kind of fun. Yeah, there was. I think they did that one, and they did the Jingle the Way sequel the same year.

Yeah, and then they did one more that was like an ELF one that I did not see. Oh yeah, this one with Page. Wasn't it with Page and with I want to say it was with. The Acts Miss remake? Yeah?

Yes, the Mis wasn't that one. The Miss was also in Christmas Bounty, and Christmas Bounty was was actually like for again for this genre, for the Christmas romance crowd. Christmas Bounie had some charm, so even them, you know, you never know what You just gotta know who your audience is and do it. And I think with this one, I don't think it knew who its audience was because I don't think it's aimed at kids. I don't think it's aimed at like women that want to watch some escapist entertainment for Christmas, Like this doesn't really feel like it so kind of a goose egg but or you know, some poop and your stocking.

But it happens sometimes. But to all that being said, where can the people find you? What else are you working on this holiday season? Oh? Well, open the Asian simm Film Club.

We've got a annual tradition of Kaiju Christmas. This year we're doing Attack the Super Monsters, which is a weird blend of Kaiju footage which has been badly dubbed an animation. It's actually three episodes of a TV show that have been like spliced together, like those Planet of the Eighth movies that used to turn up where they'd like put three episodes of a TV series together and called it a movie. But that's what's happening over nations in a film club we have obviously movies in Tea were gearing up for our food porn season in the new year, where there's so many things were so far ahead with like recording and the stuff. It's hard to say like what's coming out of the moment.

But currently we're releasing the last three episodes of our wes Anson season there as well. But if you want to follow me, you can find me on letterbox. I'm Elward Underscore Jones, or you can check out the blog which is from the ditch DVD help dot WordPress dot com. Excellent. Well, with all that being said, have yourself for mery little.

Christmas, and to you too. That narrative never gets off. I know, welcome, Thank you so much, thank you so much. What do you use to play a twelve year old boy? I wish that.

I wish that it was a lot of research and preparation and stuff. But I've got such a huge little boy streak in me, my whole life. And you know when you I was describing to a friend before, that's scene in Big when Tom Hanks reaches into the salad bar and he pulls up the little piece of court, And that had to be improvised because there was probably a dozen different moments in this film where it wasn't scripted. And somebody walked by with a whole big bowl full of marshmallows, and I'm like, I'm going to find something fun to do with those marshmallows because I'm eleven years old, and I say roll camera, and I just just this stuff just kind of happened organically. It was a lot of fun.

A lot of the little gems in the movie were not scripted, and of course this script was fabulous too, but. Growing up in a family of brothers too, you know, and as little kids, all theis just draw from little anecdotes. Yeah, but nobody wants up to the emergency room in this really right. Yeah, you get four concussions at a fractured skull before I was eight, Wow, And that was just jumping off the buildings, or from what one of the brothers. Child services would have been.

Not to change the subject, but I wanted to say that I star in this film with Denise, who's Charlie's X, and I do know her very you know, never but I know her well and I know her better than Charlie. But I do know Charlie, and it's it's a really complicated situation. I'm not here to defend him in any way, really, but I will say that, like many people that I know personally in show business and outside of show business and members of my own family, have very very complex personalities that are that I misunderstood. And I'm not defending him, and he's a very complicated guy, but he's got some really really wonderful cool qualities. And it's anybody in Hollywood, the Weird and way Median