Stocking Stuffers 9.9 Merry In-Laws and Season 9 Wrap-Up

Alex Spencer, will you marry me? Yes, Chris, don't you think it's time? But I meet my future in laws. Alex was actually hoping you could come for a visit, but I completely understand you're coming right now. And what wow?

Okay, please call me mamma, and you can call me San Santos Santos, just call me mister s and the first Christmas my true love after me, Piety, the Pentry, Leslie, Sorry, how I'm sorry? Then it's decided. We'll I'll stay together like one big, happy family. There's nothing in any database anywhere about this man that you would have us call it your future father? How long do you plan on keeping who you are a secret?

He's Santa Claus, my dad. You're serious. I'm not making this up. It's all real. It's Asrael as you choose to believe.

Now, that's more like it. We have waited an entire season eight complete movies that were set at Christmas that aired on Lifetime or Hallmark or Netflix or landed on to Be or any one of these places, and none of them, none of them purported that Santa was real. We had a wisp of Santa in borrowed Hearts, which was also like the most realistic of any of them, and yet nothing we got no real Christmas magic, the sprinkled sound effect. What was the point of them in any of the years, because it was just people doing stuff that people do, not doing magic stuff that magic Santa does. So obviously it is with that that I join you for the finale of season nine Stocking Stuffers, the femine critic on Emily here where we are specifically deliberately going after a movie that has Santa Claus.

Now this is a solo episode. We are wrapping it up, so we are going to dive into Mary in Laws, and by we I mean me, though you are joining on this sleigh ride of magic, if you will. When I finish that, I will give you a rundown of the best and worst of the year. I'll do my ranking of all nine movies. Nine not that many in the past.

I've done more. This year just kind of got away from me. I will vow next year to do more. But anyway, in Laws, as you all know from my impassioned speech about two minutes ago, I really missed that we didn't have any Santa Clause movies this year, and that bothered me. So I was trying to figure out, all right, how do I close this season?

It's just gonna be me. So I need something that's, you know, a little bit more exciting, because it can be hard to get through some of the more sloggy ones. And I need Sanna. I need magic, maybe an elf, maybe a Missus clause, maybe you know, some kind of magical star even something. And Mary in Laws from twenty twelves.

This is an eleven year old movie, which again and Stocking Stuff for Terms is a good eighty five years old. These movies age longer than dog years. I can't quite figure out Reindeer Yours, I guess would be more appropriate. But Mary in Laws had had been on my list forever because I saw the concept. I saw that I had George went and Chlley Long and I said, Okay, in one of these days, I'll get to it.

It has moved streaming sites several times. It was on Amazon Prime for a while. At this particular moment in time, I watched it on to Be Again. To Be is free. You do have commercials, but it's not that many commercials on.

And also it's a site that I always recommend Mary in Laws from twenty twelve, directed a female production team, so written and directed by women, directed by Leslie Hope, who is also an actress. Canadian has directed a lot of TV also an actor. Has was in one of the seasons of Slasher. So that's how Canadian you know she is. And Barbara Kimlikra, which is a great last name, is the writer on this and she has also done her time in both Lifetime and Christmas.

You can look at her filmography a whole lot of titles that are typically either you know, something scary, Lifetime thriller or a cheerful Christmas you Light Up My Christmas, Random Acts of Christmas, Christmas Cavenger Hunt. All of those were in twenty nineteen. So Busy Lady, Busy Women, Bury in Laws. This movie is something right off the bat. I'll tell you I had fun with it because it is older, because it is cheaper.

I don't know where it initially aired. It is not mar Vista, although it really feels like it could have been mar Vista, so the production company I didn't recognize. It doesn't have any like I don't think this was a Hallmark. But again, twenty twelve was a very different landscape, so it's hard to say it. It's something.

And right away you know something is different about this movie from a typical Hallmark fair because it opens with a couple and they're in bed together and they are not married. They are not even engaged. They will be in about two minutes after that point. But two people in bed together, and like, they're clearly like a couple, and even to the point where he's like pulling her into bed, She's like, no, I have to go to work. My son might hear.

So You're like, wait, wait, she's got a kid. They're not, man, what's going on in this puritan world of cozy Cardigan and Christmas? Breaking all the rules? Everybody breaking them all? But the she in question is Alex.

Alex is a astronomer, a scientist. I mean she's a scientist and the science she does is looking at telescope all day, which I guess would mean an astronomer, but I for some reason, they never say that word out loud, so I'm not sure if I'm right. She has a son. The parentage of this child, Uh, it's confusing. There's so much going on.

Okay, Alex has a five six year old kid named Max and Alex is living with Peter. Peter is a kindergarten teacher. Peter is Max's kindergarten teacher, which I'm sorry feels like a huge conflict of interest. I know kindergarten grades probably don't really matter anywhere, but I don't know, like you're dating your son's teachers in this day and age politically, I feel like that's you wait until summertime, you wait until school year's out. When this kid, he doesn't get the lead in the you know, school Nativity pageant, but if he did, and I was the parent of the understudy, I would raise hell.

But anyway, they're together. She is very science, science, science, He is very kindergarten teacher, and you find out he is not just a kindergarten teacher. He is also the son of Santa Claus. That's revealed pretty early. You heard it in the trailer.

So while the film does kind of take a little time to get there, he proposes in a terrible way we are because it is twenty twelve. One thing I will say for this is that it has the kind of toxic male energy that nobody really thought of as toxic at the time. If you will so he proposes to Alex in a cute way, decorates the house for Christmas, and has like a little toy bring down the ring, except he also does it like with the kid in the other room watching, so the kids like, you know, poking his little head out the corner being like, yeah, Mom, marry him. I'm sorry. It's not as bad as like, you know, doing it at a packed basketball team in front of thousands of people, but it still feels like you're cheating to be like, hey, no, I'm a good gonna be a good dad to your kid, and for the kid to be like, Mom, please marry him, because you'll ruin my life if you don't, because then I'll feel kindergarten and this kid, who obviously will get to when we talk about clone a child.

But I do need to talk about a little more on who is this kid's father because I'm trying to figure it out. I'm like, oh, okay, I guess she's a widow. That's weird. Or is she divorced? I don't know.

They haven't said either. We meet, Alex's parents are very strict, so dad is a scientist. He is again an astronomer. Question Mark mom is a therapist or a psychchrist psychologist. They don't really say specifically, but she is in the you know, mental health field of care.

And dad is very you know, there is no Santa, there is no fantasy. You should not marry a kindergarten teacher. You should marry this other creepy guy who works with you at the science lab place. And I thought for a minute, like, oh, is he the father? But no.

I posted this picture on both Instagram and Facebook because it is actually rather jaw dropping. I had to watch this at nighttime. My husband had fallen asleep and I was watching. We were in hotel, so I'm watching it. He's sleeping, I have my earbuds in.

I'm trying to be quiet, and I almost woke up the entire hotel when the sound of my jaw hitting the floor. Because there's a throwaway line that the dad who's very much, very controlling in Alex's life and has always told her what's good and what's not and what to do and what not to do, he said to her the one time he didn't listen to me, I told you not to go to that Stephen Hawking conference when you were eighteen. I told you that's where all the weirdos are. But you went and you came home pregnant and alone. What the fuck?

What the fuck happens at the Stephen Hawking con friends? What I mean, that's a movie right there. That is a lifetime movie right there, I think. But that is just a throwaway line in this movie. And it's so much to take in.

And I haven't even gotten to the fact that Peter is the son of Santa Claus. Santa Claus, George Went, missus clause Shelley Long. Yes, it's a Cheers reunion and it's adorable and they are fun in this movie, which is really nice to see because a lot of a lot of times that I think in later years, these kinds of jobs became very by the numbers. Shelley Long has done a fair amount of very kind of cheap awful, Like she's in a couple of the Dog who Saved the Holiday, Christmas, Christmas Holiday, Easter, Holiday, Easter Vacation, Christmas Vacation, and so on. And this is nice for her because she gets to be kookie, she gets to have fun.

She's giving it her all. George Went has been fun. It's a relief. But like also, Okay, so there are Santa Claus and Missus Claus and they have come to meet their son's fiance. She does not know that they are Santa Claus and Missus Clause.

Uh. It is really weird how long it takes all of this to unfold. And I get it, it's probably a pretty hard thing to spring on your fiance, especially if she's very science science science, no Santa. But it the problem isn't so much that it takes him a long time to tell her this. The problem is it is unclear what this actually means for their relationship because is Peter, and first of all, was his last name Clause?

I guess it was. I don't know how you know? That never really comes out? But anyway, is does he have to be Santa? Like?

There's a throwaway line at the very end where mister Claus or Santos as he goes by, briefly says, you know, I'm gonna retire soon. Okay? Is it a family business? Is there another child lurking around? Because like does Alex who is now you know, has discovered a new star and stuff?

Does she have to give up her astronomer life for Christmas? I don't know. It's fine. It all ends up well. There are hijinks along the way, but in the end it's the spirit of Christmas moves everybody.

They get married. It's cute. We're all happy for them. So let's dive in because there's a lot and we're just getting started here again. A few other little things that oh, okay, one thing that really bugged me.

I now we'll talk about the actor. But so Lucas Bryant plays Peter or Peter Claws. I guess I'm not familiar with him. He did look very familiar. He's in a lot of these kinds of movies.

He's Canadian. He has top build in this movie, I think, and then it's like then it's Shelley Long, and then it's the actress playing the lead, and then it's like everybody else and with An and George Went. It's very strange to me that Shelley Long and George Went don't get like the co and credit because they're the reason a lot of people are coming to this movie. But what do I know? What do I know?

I've only done nine years of this. A lot of sprinkle sound effects, which is appropriate because it is magic. So that's good, but let's dive in. So our female lead in need of a lesson. In this case, we have Alex.

Alex is played by a definitely Canadian actress, Kashia Cassia Warshawski is her name, and I actually liked her. She has not had a huge career, even in these kinds of movies, which I feel like she fits in. Well. She's interesting because she doesn't typically these parts are very cutesy, young, perky but not much there, or kind of older veteran kind of slumming in these movies, and she's sort of in between, like I could see she has you know, she reminded me of was Debora ann Woll from Punisher. She had that kind of energy and I liked it.

It kind of balanced out with the more goofy Peter in a way. But her character, Alix is science, science, science, and you know, there's a I think the movie doesn't quite settle on who she is because she's very into science because it's what her dad wanted. And when Peter proposes, her first instinct is like, oh my god, what do we do about Texas? Is it better to get married or not married? Do I change my name?

That's going to be very complicated. So there's a lot of things like that that they're trying to make her very neurotic. And I think in a way this movie should have been more about her than about Peter. And I think that would have worked, both in terms of the performance and in terms of the character, because she has a bigger journey to take and I don't think I feel like the movie robs her of that a little bit. But anyway, like the actress, that's good our bland love it interests number two in this case again not a widow dad, because instead he is a gung host stepdad to be slash kindergarten teacher, and you know, he kind of bothered me.

There were little things that I thought we're gonna pile up. When he proposes, she says yes. They are having dinner with her parents, and you know, there's like a oh would you do today? And she's like, oh my god, I discovered something scienceish that's really important that's gonna get us on the cover of Telescope Weekly. And she's really excited about this.

And Peter's like, excuse me, excuse me. We also got engaged now, yeah, sure, okay, getting engaged huge thing, Yes, a very big day in my lifetime. But also like the fact that he's just undercutting her immediately when she's like, hey, this great thing happened at my job that I care a lot about and he's like yeah, And also you're gonna be my missus. Didn't like that, didn't care for it. He was also kind of an idiot.

So there was all of those things. And then at one point, again like he's fairly young in this movie, right, it's really supposed to be maybe I don't know she is specifically again, she got pregnant at eighteen at the Stephen Hawking conference. Her kid is six, so she's all of twenty four and is a super sign. Just of course he is a kindergarten teacher. I don't know.

Let's say he's thirty two tops. And at one point she's talking about him and says, you know, he really deserves a promotion. He really works hard with those kids. Yeah, he's a fucking teacher. He's supposed to work hard with kids, he's supposed to like kids.

But like, you don't become principal the next year of your first tenure there, especially when you end up marrying one of your students' moms. I'm sorry, didn't agree with his career trajectory right there. Anyway, Number three setting a little disappointing. We actually didn't get many real magical winter wonder lands this year. And this is no exception.

We're in a town. They don't say what town it is. We don't really see the town. It's Canada. That's what we'll leave it at.

Number four dead parents or dead wife. No, no, again, we don't know what went down about Stephen Hawkin conference, and it might have been worse then, Like I don't know somebody coming in and just slicing up Shelley Long in front of all of us, that that might have been easier to watch than whatever happened at the Stephen Hawking conference. So I'll give it a little bit of a pass. Number five sassy sidekick. Okay, we it just gets very complicated.

We have an elf named Linda. I really like that the ELF's name is Linda. I find Linda if no offense Indy named Linda. But I feel like Linda is a really good joke name. For different reasons, we've named our GPS Linda.

There's that great joke on Kimi Schmidt about how women in HR are often named Linda. An elf named Linda pretty funny, the elf in this case not that funny, no earrings. She's supposed to be like bumbling and keeps messing things up, but I just found her kind of bad at her job. And it was also confusing because the whole missus Clause and mister Clause decide, oh, yeah, we can drop everything December twentieth and fly down to see our son because Linda is taking care of it all. No, but Linda's is there with them, So who is running in the north Pole?

I don't know. I'm glad that this movie purports that Santa has really figured out a system for not being there all the time. That's good, that's good leadership. But still we have another candidate. We have Vicki, who I was really kind of hoping for a different reveal.

But early in the movie, the dad says something to the effect of, like I told because he told Alex there is no Santa Claus. And then he also tells six year old Max, so there's no Santa Claus. And he says he's like, I should have told your sister that too. Otherwise this way, she wouldn't have ended up where she did. And again you're like, what she also like gang bang at the Stephen Hawking conference, Like what's going on with this family?

But no, Vicki just became an actress and that's apparently more shameful than anything that could possibly happen at the Stephen Hawking Conference. We do meet Vicki later. She's free spirited, she's a little kookie, but no earrings, no great outfits either, But again it's our twenty twelve. They didn't really know what they were doing yet, and she almost is more like giving sage wisdom than giving wacky antics. You could maybe put missus Claws here.

It's confusing, is she here? Is she a sage old person? Again? She does both, and she's played by Shelley Long magnificently. So there's that number six evil woman or villain, villainous boss.

Typically in this case we do have two active villains, which is nice because we really had very few this year. Our main villain is Alex's dad, who hates fun this is big thing, also hates sugar. And there's another one, which is Edward, who is her creepy coworker co scientists science partner, lab partner, I don't know what you call him. And he's also just done settling. Definitely has played like the creepy guy in lifetime thrillers before.

He's there to sort of be, you know, somebody in the way of true love. But obviously it doesn't matter. Now number seven montages, we get a few, thankfully. The first one is when we're introduced to Peter's job as a kindergarten teacher, where he just has all of his kids making Christmas decorations so that he can then decorate his own house with them. Uh.

I know, I guess that's what teaching in kindergarten level might be, and I appreciate that it was christmasy. We get a baking montage and it's a really, like I wrote in all caps, this is a real montage, because as we know, we've had a lot of half montages or fake out montages. This is baking. There is a song about being naughty or nice. It is Shelley Long dancing in a kitchen.

It's adorable. And then last the school play is sort of done. It's if it's a montage because it's like, okay, now, the cute little kids are doing their Nativity thing, but it's staged in a way where I guess they just probably couldn't get like the complete shot of them doing it right, so it's just bits and bits and bits, and then there's some electronic Christmas music plane and we keep cutting to the audience laughing a lot like heavy where you think like they also had edibles or something to make this more fun. Number eight slapstick. Okay, God, I forgot about this, So there's other reasons I didn't like Peter early on.

It's like their second night together and they're trying to sleep and he's snoring and burping in his sleep, and again, like we do things in our sleep, that's fine, but like if you're snoring, be respective to your partner, get a seapap, go see a specialist. In this case, like he's just gross and she can't sleep and that's the thing she There's also slapstick. She's a scientist but she doesn't know how to cook, so there's wacky antics where she's burning things and she jumps and fell out of bed. I don't remember what happened, but I wrote that down so I believe myself. So sage old person.

Number nine, there's a little bit of George went giving wisdom. There's a little bit of Shelley and Long kind of just teaching everybody around her wisdom. So we'll take that and again fine, finally, yes, Emily, there is a Santa Claus with that, let's dive into the bonus round our music choice. There's a quite a bit of public domain songs as you would expect, including Nutcracker Sweet, which usually we get a lot of, and I feel like this year you haven't heard it quite as much. A million different versions of jingle bells, including a very like electronic computer game version which is played forgot about this when when Dad steals some of George wentz DNA to run testing on.

Is that a thing that astronomers can do like you can just I know scientists, But like, I think astronomy and biology are very different fields. So I don't think like, oh, yeah, I look at stars all day, I know everything about the heavens, and I can also swab a cheek and tell you what kind of chromosomes this person has. I don't think it works that way, but what do I know. I'm not a scientist. Again, A lot of words, salad Christmas songs there, Oh god, there's a really long twelve Days of Christmas, which I just know, Like they're singing it at the dinner table and half of them are really into it, and the dad's face is like literally twitching, and I'm sitting there thinking, I know you're the villain, but I'm with you in this moment.

I identify here, not there. Let's see, there is our secret family recipes. So missus Claus has this pretty cool ability where she can read somebody's sweet profile, so like she know is talking to her co mother in law and just magically is like, I know you love gingerbread cookies. Here I made you some. I know these are your favorite.

Like she knows that I think Alex is a sugar cookies. Like she can look at somebody and immediately say you are a butterscotch whipple or whatever. It might be a lot of those. And again it's cute because it's missus Claus what we're supposed to do here in these movies in which Pallmark didn't get the memo on In twenty twenty three number three, s Mom is this in danger? No, but there is a slight worry that Santa won't get his sleigh fixed because a magical part is lost, and Linda the elf sucks at our job and doesn't realize that no product placement that I caught cloying child.

Let us talk about Maxwell. Oh, he's he's something. Uh, I you know, I get it, Like he's got a shitty grandpa who kind of keeps making him like takes the wonder out of being a child. But maxwells also kind of a shitty kid. He's telling everybody at school there is no Santa Claus kind of a jerk move.

And again, I know these movies are film quickly. I know there's not always the full range of time to spend with young actors, but this boy speaks very monotone and it kind of you know, you gotta it doesn't quite match the ter of what Shelley Long is giving us, if you will. Uh, we did not have a Finding the Perfect Tree. I guess I'll cut that for next year because it really didn't come up much at all in twenty twenty three. Empty Coffee Cup Acting Guys, here's the thing, George Went and Shelley Long, We're on the greatest show ever about a bar right one of the greatest sitcoms of all time.

You don't star in Cheers for George went for that full run for Shelley long several years. You don't play norm and not know how to fake drink out of a cup, so cheers to finally like literally cheers, I'm raising my fictional glass and fake drinking out of it. Not nearly as well as George went ken No. Number eight Actors trying hard not to take bites out of something. Uh, there's a lot.

I mean there's a lot of because there's bakings, there's a lot of like stuff, and I gotta say, like, ugh, again, Peter's just gross. He's a very good looking man. And I don't know if it was like part of the joke was that we're gonna make him, We're gonna make him snore, We're gonna make him just icky. But when his mother first arrives and is you know, of course, like, oh, I made your favorite cookie, and he takes it and he like smushes it on his mouth and then like rubs it into his lips, and it is it's like he's putting it on as if it's makeup, and it's upsetting. I did not like I did not care for it.

Number nine canadianisms. Yes, yes, and yes you can tell by a lot of accents that we are in Canada. Warm weather watch. You know, I didn't clock it as much because they're not outside. Alex whenever she is going to work, she is dressed like stockings in boots.

She looks like she's going to work in a you know, mild December. Maybe not in Canada, but again we don't know that it's in Canada, so it's okay. Eleven old people aggressively matchmaking again this year. Last year it was crazy. It was everywhere this year not so much including here, because you know, missus and mister Claus are happy enough for their kid.

But the other side of that is, if anything actually anything, the dad's kind of really trying to push her on Edward, which is upsetting because Edward's clearly not well for other reasons. But anyway, And twelve our favorite fashion moment. It didn't not a lot of standouts in this one. Alex dresses very I guess the way astronomer would there, and there aren't you know, there's not a big Christmas ball, there's not big wacky things. Shelley Long is dressed pretty goofy the whole thing.

But I will say again the year of the coda, we had a lot of codas, which I'm all for. The very end of this movie, as soon as you know the credits start rolling, we get a little slide show of their wedding pictures, so their wedding kind of looks like a Vegas wedding. Actually, Alex is wearing the sort of like short white little fur thing. Again very missus Claws to b esque. But I did appreciate Vicky, the sister in those pictures, had a white pantsuit that again felt fitting to the Vegas theme that in my head this was.

Even though this movie was not in Vegas, at that moment, I felt like it could have been. So do I recommend Mary in Laws? Ah? Kind of, maybe, maybe not. I don't know.

Look, it's post December twenty fifth, so you're probably not gonna watch any of these for a year. Anyway, in eleven months when you decide to dive back into this world of cozycrdion and Christmas movies, this one has enough weirdness that I found myself like frantically typing a lot while I watched it. It's goofy. It's weird. You have Shelley Long and George went being really fun and giving very goofy, strange performances.

The lead actress, I think is I liked her. I liked watching her. That was good. There's just strange things going on here that made it count. And again you finally get a real Santa Claus.

So for all that, it's a it's a medium recommend and marry in laws. And again part of that is just my mood and where it hit me and where it landed. I actually, now that I think about this, I watched this Christmas Eve evening and then finished at Christmas Day. What a weird time this year has been. As you all probably figured out, you know, the in terms of when episodes were recorded first when they aired.

I was away the week beginning December eighteenth, so I had to record most of these before then. And there's a little gap then between the last one we did and then this episode here, so the rhythm gets a little weird. But all that being said, it's time to wrap up the year. So here we are. So what we're gonna do.

We're gonna first do my ranking from nine to one of these movies, and then I'll go into some of my favorites or my favorite to and least favorite things that hit some of the tropes. So we covered nine movies this year. We're gonna talk about all of them. So let's start with I will say off the bat, no full out duds here in past year, as we've had some that were insufferable. I didn't hate watching any of these, and some of them I might have been affected by in different ways that I didn't expect.

But in terms of looking at the list, what was my least favorite? Uh, and the one that I would say is definitely one that I don't think anybody has a reason to watch. Number nine coming in. Number nine was the first episode Mistletoe in Montana. This was Lifetime directed by Kelly Martin Sir and Wilsa Joan Hart, set in Montana, filmed in Montana in July.

It's it wasn't terrible. It just this was very by the numbers lifetime. It felt even if I didn't hadn't read about like the hell of filming this movie, you kind of felt that there was no magic there. It just was very by the books, So nothing remarkable. That's number nine.

Number eight, and immediately there's a huge gap between number nine and number eight. I'm gonna say kind of went back and forth here because I liked this a lot more when I watched it, and then the more I thought about a lot of it, I'm like, but it didn't finish. It did have like hanging threads, and you can't do that in these movies, and I liked it more than my co host on this episode, Dear Jason Fozzy Nelson. But I'm gonna put to the Christmas Setup, which was the second episode we did so far. We're going in order if that might be a trend.

Christmas Setup was the fran Dresser, the gay romance, the gray romance aspect was pretty good in some parts, but the movie itself was I don't know, it was lacking something and didn't feel fully coherent. So that's gonna be number eight. Number seven, I think was the third episode I fell recorded, maybe, and this one it's a tricky one to put here because there's things about this movie that are really funny, that really work, that are really different and special. But also overall, I kind of hated the leads, and even though I like the actors, and that makes a difference when you're actually invested in a movie or not and invested in a relationship working. So number seven, I'm gonna say was Xmus.

That was I can't remember if there was a hashtag in that one, because there's nine different versions of an Xmus Christmas movie and I some have hashtags, some don't. This was the one with Leyton Easter. Uh yeah, Xmus. It's funny. There's things about it that are laugh out loud funny.

But overall, if I'm really thinking what worked for the cozy Cardigan audience and what it's going for, I don't know that this one fully worked for me. So we'll see number six. Uh again, this is where things get off the rails very quickly, because guys, you know how much I loved Borrowed Hearts from nineteen ninety seven with Eric McCormick and Roma Downey and Hector Alizondo as the Devil or an Angel. We haven't figured that part out yet. Uh yeah, it's number six, but that doesn't mean I don't recommend it heavily.

Please watch it. Number five the most typical, probably of the Hallmark movies. But I think the more I've thought about it, the more. I thought, you know what, for what it was doing, this was a really crisp version of a Hallmark Christmas movie, and that is a merry Scottish Christmas. It's the Leashship Bear scott Wolf one sent in Scotland, filmed kind of around near Scotland.

Not life changing, but it knows its formula and it knows what it has to do so well, but does it with a little more professionalism than some of the other ones that you'll find, So I'll put it there number four. I don't know sure Mary in Laws, now that I'm thinking about it, I might have swapped four and five, but hey, Mary in Laws was weird. It kept me guessing. I didn't know we were going to have a reveal of the wild sex antics that go on at the Stephen Hawking Conference. So for that alone, it's it's a number four.

And now our top three are Bronze Medal of the season goes. It's an Olympic year, so it really is a bronze medal. I the movie that made me maybe cry, made me well up, maybe just a bit. I can't say that out loud. I don't quote me on that, but yes, my eyes felt fuzzy.

When I watched My Southern Family Christmas with Bruce Campbell and Moira Kelly, uh, I don't know, didn't hit everything, didn't felt with more a family drama than romance. But the family drama stuff I thought was actually handled really well and Brice Campbell was great in it. So that's number three. Number two our silver medalist would be Mystic Christmas, also a Hallmark production from this year, and can I say it did a few things differently than your typical Christmas movie, which was nice and had a really good lead, had really snappy dialogue, was had a nice directorial style. It just moved well.

So I appreciated how how well it worked. And again it felt like a movie which you don't know is good in here cough cough, miss in Montana and number one crazy not what I would have expected. But come on, which movie do I think to myself? Do I keep thinking of and smiling and keep thinking of and saying, you know, maybe I'll maybe I'll put this one on in the background next year. It is, of course Christmas Full of Grace, which was just zany and funny and body and all these things that you don't typically find because again, it's not an American cozy carting and Christmas movie, but yet it had that feeling translated to a different culture through a different lens.

And I'm glad, really glad I watched it, and I next year one of my goals will be to definitely work in more international titles with that. Some other trends that we caught this year quite a few movies where we had the men changing their lives for women. Typically it's the other way around, where the woman decides, Oh, I think I'll stay in the tiny small town with you know, no job opportunities. But in this case, we had several movies where the dude was like, hey, I'll move to where you are. And that was Mistletone Montana.

That was Exmus That was not Christmas set up, not Marry Scottish, it was one more my southern family Christmas. Are the guys like, yeah, I'm tired of my town. I'm going to go travel the world with you. Not something you see every day. And I appreciate that we had flyers.

Flyer distribution was big for both Christmas Full of Grace and Missed It Christmas, and both of those are my top two, So I mean lesson for twenty twenty four. If you want to make a good Christmas movie, add flyers into your movie makes a difference. Pea coats are always trending this year, though they really guys, I mean everywhere, and I think this is again where I look at my uh not my Mary, my Merry Scottish Southern Family Christmas Barred Hearts A Merry Scottish Christmas where Lacy Shavert wore nine coats over the course of ninety minutes. That's a movie that is made by people that know how to make these movies and have made a lot of them. And I almost wonder if it's almost a meta thing now that they are directly putting in there for savvy watchers to be like, oh, that pekoat, that peacoat.

It just it seemed so ridiculous that I feel like it was an intentional But again, you also had multiple pea coats in several other movies where characters were going somewhere for like three days, and then the last trend of the year that I will say, and again, I don't know how I feel about this, but we've had some very competitive women Mistletone, Montana, Xmas, Mystic Christmas quite a few of them where you had, you know, women at game night who were kind of had to pull back and that kind of thing. I'm a competitive woman, so I see that and I say, Okay, what are we saying here? What are we are we just pointing it out? Okay, just so I don't know what we're doing with that yet, but I did want to point it out onto a few more of the best and worst.

So running through our leads, who was the best to lead? Again, I look at the top two movies because both of them and typically that is the thing that is going to really make or break a movie is how much do you care about these characters? And Jesse Shram in Mister Christmas and Yasika Kayane in Christmas Full of Grace, who gave the bonker's performance again Carol dubbed it the human Raccoon just I don't know what she was doing. It was everything and I want more of it. And Jesse Shram also just had great comic timing Mister Christmas, which you don't always getting these worst.

You know, nobody was really a dud. I think Melissa Joan Hart kind of was struggling in Christmas Mistletoe Montana. But again, based on everything we've learned about the Bears in COVID, I kind of understand it. So even though I'm not their biggest fan for a lot of reasons, I won't go too rough on that favorite love interest. It's tough because we had a lot of of like guys that were actually good for the women, which again not always the case.

You know. Chandler Massey was again in Mister Christmas. Last year or a couple of years ago, he was in Last Stop Christmas. I think a good find for all Hallmark. He brings a neat energy, But honestly, who actually gave like the best performance as the love interest?

It's Eric McCormick. He knows what he's doing in Borrowed Hearts and he's really good in it, like as an actual performance. Least favorite love interest, you know, in My Southern Family Christmas, the guy was kind of dull, but he also was the one that's like, I'm gonna change my life for you, So I give him credit for that. So instead I'm gonna say Peter from Mary in Law's Toxic Man, Alex run, you can do better. Setting our favorite setting, we didn't really have magic, which is a shame because you know, I'd like my magical winter Wonderland.

So my favorite setting, I'll say a merry Scottish Christmas was in Scotlan in kind of Ireland mostly, but it looked cute and we'll go with that. Also had like kind of Wickerman undertones and Midsommar undertones, So credit there. Least favorite setting. I still have been awakened at night here and there wondering why did the Christmas set up say it was set in Milwaukee when it was filmed in Canada. Why Milwaukee?

We didn't do anything with Milwaukee. What was the point of that? And that bothers me. I'm not gonna let it go so easily our favorite montage, that's easy. Not my favorite movie of the bunch, but X missus Holly Lujah getting to the airport leaving for the airport, not actually leaving.

That scene is laugh out loud funny. It is done brilliantly with very good comic actors and worth watching that movie Favorite Dead Parents. You know, Dick, what can I say? I just appreciated how it was less than three minutes into mistletone Montana when we get a comment about dead mom and how dead mom? It's like, oh, sorry, your mom's dead.

Now we have to stay in Montana. There's just weird things going on there, and I appreciate that. Also, this is so sort of in the like is this a good thing or a bad thing? The almost killing of Michael Hitchcock and xmus. I can't decide if that was a great move or a terrible move, but I need to point it out because it was wild.

And then I'm like the low the worst list of dead parents. We had a lot of are they dead? Why are they dead? What happened here? And it just made things confusing my southern family Christmas?

What happened with Bruce Campbell's dad, something that drove him away from his family, borrowed hearts? Had like an evil dead dad? I wanted more. It was very VC Andrews feeling in its tone. X Mius and the Christmas setup both seemed to have this sort of like is there a dead mom?

I don't know, we don't talk about mom. Here's a dad? Give me more people, don't you know what you're selling? A favorite sassy sidekick? Oh ho boy?

I don't again, I don't know if I put Shelley Long here because it feels like beneath her to call her a sassy sidekick. But she's great and marry in laws, so I would probably instead say everybody in Christmas Full of Grace, you have a lot of them. You have sisters, cousins, sister in laws, you have lobster earring sister and her TikTok boyfriend. All of these things go a long way our favorite villain. You know, again, rough year for villains, we didn't really have them because Christmas movies have gotten nicer and I, for one don't care for it.

So therefore I have to give a little credit. As much as I found the fact that I didn't like them a problem for the overall movie, Layton Measter and Robbie Arnell are also very funny, and the fact that they were kind of jerks and Xmas was entertaining. So I'm wildly revising where Xmas falls on my list, but I'll put them there as the best villains, slaps favorite slapstick again. Christmas Full of Grace has human zoomies, which is wild and the thing that made me laugh hardest I think this year of any Christmas movie was the gag of her being thrown off a horse is done so funny that you have to see it to understand why it's so good. Favorite stage old person.

I liked that we had hot divorced parents and Mister Christmas, and I thought they gave good advice. But my heart belongs to Moira Kelly, who is so lovely in My Southern Christmas. It's so nice to see her there. She looks like a grown up. She plays that part beautifully, and even though the character is like kind of manipulating things in a way that isn't necessarily great, she's so good and warm that I forgave her for it, so I'll put her there.

Favorite Sanna. I mean, okay, we know who the winner is there, but I also want to give a shout out to a runner up. Jamie Sheridan apparently passed out while filming missletone Montana, probably because he was dressed as Santa and it was one hundred and three degrees, So I mean, I appreciate your work, sir, and your commitment. Hector Alizondo maybe played Santa Claus. I don't know.

It's still very confusing in Borrowed Hearts, but he's there, and I appreciate that Christmas Full of Grace maybe had a subplot where our lead was the daughter of Santa Claus. It's not really explained, but I you know, it's something, but obviously it's George went as Santos Clause in marin Laws, a few others in the bonus. Just to shout out. For music, it was a big year for word salad. There were so many Christmas set up I think had the most egregious ones, but look out for it every year.

It's my favorite new thing and then the worst for music, depending on how you feel about bagpipes. A Merry Scottish Christmas goes for it. Favorite family recipe, my southern family Christmas has like a plot point of the whole. Well, I can't tell anybody about my family my recipe for meat pies, and of course it's got to be human, right. I mean we're all agreed on that.

Good it's Bruce Campbell, Yes, okay, good least favorite family recipe. I just want to say, Marry Scottish Christmas went a little overboard because it was every other scene with some batch of words associated with the Food Network put together and with cinnamon, and it was just a lot favorite small business in danger. The Scottish Christmas keeps showing up here because it was so cozy carting and Christmas Eve, so it fits these things so well. And I am just fascinated by the idea that a small town is going to like Brigadoon, disappear if we don't have these Americans take over their royal titles. It didn't make any sense and I kind of love that.

However, my least favorite small business in danger like because I don't know if it wasn't danger, I don't know if it was saved. I don't know if it wasn't saved. Christmas set up the gay train station, what happened to it, I don't know. Next was product placement. This was the year so aside from Xmus which really went hard on like Heineken and like the Security System and some other things, it was a big year for travel and not all these movies were made this year or post COVID, but it felt very much that without I don't I don't know how intentional it was, but like a merry Scottish Christmas is selling Scotland Christmas in Montana, Mistletone Montana is selling Montana.

My Southern Family Christmas is very much going into like the Bayou at Christmas, go to Louisiana in December, and then for whatever reason, again it's a mystery. The Christmas setup is like, come visit Milwaukee. We're the land of dreams, even though we're in Canada. I don't get it. A favorite coying child, well, okay, this is you know what does favorite mean here?

Really liked the kid in Mistic Christmas. She was funny, she had good rapport with the rest of the actors, but also like really loved to be boggled by the choices made by the little girl Zoe Zoe Zoe Zoe in Borrowed Hearts. I just heard the kid who had like the nervous tick was she would run in climb trees. Again, watch bart Hearts. It's not good, but I need everybody to watch it.

A few other call outs. Our favorite empty coffee cup acting Again it did not disappoint. Yes, we had some real movies with real actors, so they knew how to drink, but we also had the two you know, main young characters in My Southern Family Christmas just bopping around with these empty cups. And it was just egregious, So I need to shout those favorite not eating instead. I'm gonna we had a fair amount of them.

But I really need to give a big shout out to Chandler Massy in Mister Christmas. I respect an actor who comes to set with an empty stomach and says, I understand, I am filming scenes today where I'm supposed to eat pizza. I will be eating that pizza. Damn. Continuity aside.

Damn, however many retakes it takes, and I will have eaten a lot of pizza. You better keep baking it, keep baking it to look exactly the same in every scene, because I'm gonna fucking eat that pizza. He eats every bite of food in this movie, and I respect man. Respect warm Weather Watch obviously Mistletoe and Montana, which does at least be smart enough to mention that it's unseasonably warm, but still it's Montana and it's December and everybody's sweating through light long sleeve clothing. Also, big shout out to Eximus, which is not They don't say where they are again, we know Canada, but they don't say it out loud except that they are ice fishing, and they are freezing, but they are not wearing any coats while they're ice fishing, and so they're complaining about the cold, which seems unreasonable, and they have a space heater on.

Everything about that really bothered me for continuity, and I mean last the big one was fashion, and my favorite thing I added this year was the fashion watch. Looking for those great outfits I think thematically the thing I'd say I noticed more And how much of this is the fact that I will be forty two, and how much of this is that these movies are doing this differently? But the older women in these movies dress fabulously. Fran Dresser in a Christmas setup has this like beautiful green cape thing. Lady Sophia in Christmas Full of Grace, every outfit she wears is just I can only dream, you know.

So these are things I appreciated a lot. We also separately from that, again, Christmas Full of Grace was the winner here because you had wild, wild, sparkly hot pants and all sorts of things, very lots to admire and again not to be obsessed with it. But so many peacoats, My god, the pea coats. I am still shocked that there is not a more direct shopping line between Hallmark and the things on display in these movies. And Okay, obviously it's a network, so there's commercials this year.

I'm sure there was a daisy setwur cream reference in some of the movies that I just didn't watch this Yere, you have things like that. Usually they used to be big on, like the Balsa hill. Fake trees would appear in the movies. All of that is fine, but you know that there are people like Okay, there is a Twitter account today that just posts about what contestants on Jeopardy wear, and I think it started as a cute little thing, but also it's something that you look at and you're kind of take notes from because there is a very particular Jeopardy Silhouettehere's you're only seeing you from the top up, and you have to blend in with the blue background, but you can't but you don't want to stand out too much.

And so there's like a little art to it. And it feels like Hallmark, which clearly does care about what its characters, particularly women, look like. In these movies, there is thought put into these costumes. Sometimes they are probably reused between movies, but you notice it. Lazy Schebert wears nine fucking pea coats in that movie, and they are all fabulous.

They are all peacoats that you look at you are like, ooh that color is great. Oh I like that pattern. What's a different cut that could be cute? And it just it's surprising to me that I can't immediately go on Hallmark dot com and see a link to some of the things that you saw in this movie and where you can find them. It's just a missed opportunity.

And I'll say it knowing that maybe in like a year there will be a you know, Hallmark Amazon chop where you can go and buy all these things. Just putting it out there, and that's what I'm putting out into the world this year as we wrap up twenty twenty three. It's been a great one. Thank you to all of my guests this season. It is such a delight for me to do this again.

Started somewhat as a joke, somewhat is just something I felt like I had this energy burning in me that I needed to address these movies and what they do, and figured this is as good a format as they need to do that in. And it's really evolved into this great conversation. It's a great chance for me to connect with so many great talent out there, great podcasters, great writers. Please, if you have not already, check out all the guest episodes, check out their work. They're all amazing, incredible people that inspire me.

And you know, this, as always, is just fun. It's stupid, it's enjoyable. It's a good way to just kind of distract you from some of the other stuff going on this season, which can be rough for people, including me. But as always, I appreciate your support and you joining me on the sleigh ride of holiday nonsense. Christine will be back very soon when we return in twenty twenty four with you know, I don't know, something like probably bloody and filled with like loose slims and whatever else sort of the movies we cover, like complicated twists that don't resolve themselves.

But aren't the Christmas set up that kind of thing? Please join us, follow us in the places. We're on Instagram, at the Feminine Underscore Critique, Underscore Pod. I think we're on Twitter kind of at Feminine Underscore Podcast. We have a Facebook group.

That's probably the easiest way, but I understand people don't like Facebook. I can't figure out the reds, guys. It's hard. I'm old, I am lady Sophia, I am not Christmas full of grace and anything you can all do to interact and help, I mean, like, spread the word. I don't really care if people listen.

I just want to like that. If you do listen, please talk to us, let us know things, let us know what you think. If you have suggestions for next year's Christmas shows, if you have guests that if you are interested in guesting, or have people that you think, hey, you should talk to this person because they're fun and also like this stuff. Please share the word find me easiest way as a Twitter and blue sky at Deadly Dolls. And with all of that, I hope you all have an incredible New Year, incredible Christmas, Quansaknika, whatever else happens these weeks and months and winters and such.

Again, I know it can be a weird time for a lot of people. It's not a great time for everybody. It's a great time for other people. So whatever it is, I hope you have found your piece. I hope you're ready to start fresh in twenty twenty four and whatever you do, do not put all of your faith in an elf named Linda.

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