Tales from the Darkside S01E08&09 (Word Processor of the Gods - A Case of the Stubborns)

Dark Destinations may be end times Night's creature. Why would a few more casualties struggle me because of their blood? Will join yours a radio drama anthology. You are wrong how you figure Every mark on Longo is hunting you down. Not you, your partner, he said, I didn't have a ray gun.

Full cast performances set in the haunted corners of the globe. Darkness is coming for you. That's the fear that taunts me. Dark Destinations by fatherm Alone at Weirdingwaymedia dot com weird Way Media. Welcome back to Midnight Viewing, the horror anthology podcast, where this season we're taking a look at George A.

Romero's nineteen eighties series Tales from the Dark Side, I'm Father Malone and sharing the Midnight view with Me or the projection booths Mike White, Elite and culture cast Christachue did Don't Make Me, Don't even Don't Tell Me I'm Dead has covered the whole evening. Tonight, we're taking a look at two episodes from season one. They are word Processor of the Gods and a Case of the Stubborns. Word Processor of the Gods is from season one, episode eight. It originally aired on November twenty fifth, nineteen eighty four.

This one was written by Michael McDowell, based on the short story by Stephen King, which was originally published in January of nineteen eighty three, just one year before in Playboy magazine, where it was originally just called The word Processor that it was subsequently collected and retitled. This one was directed by Michael Gornick, his second feature or his second defeay into a talsonth Dark set. I didn't mention this before, but Michael Gornick shot the entire credit sequence for this series. This one stars Bruce and Davison, Karen Shallow, and Bill Kine. It is about a hen pecked writer who inherits a homemade computer from his recently deceased nephew that may allow him to change his life.

What did you think of this one, Chris, I will say I was only mildly disappointed that the tacking on of of the gods did not yield any sort of ancient aliens or extra terrestrials, because that's when I think of the phrase of the gods, There's only one thing I think of, and that's chariot of the Gods. The Bondanic and book from the seventies that would go on to create ancient Aliens. So when I saw the title, I was like, maybe it'll have something to do with that. Nope, it's I would say, it's a pretty boiler plate wish fulfillment story. I mean, we've seen things like this before.

It's almost like cuts out all of the movie part of what this narrative would be, and it just shows us the conclusion in a lot of ways, because I mean there's a whole story here, a fully formed idea that you could build out into an entire narrative. I've seen them just recently. I mean this reminds me in a lot of ways of a matter of life and death or chances are. It's like I want to do something different with my life and I have to figure out a way to change it. In this, it's just condemn down into twenty two minutes.

But this, I mean, this is a fully pledged idea that is feels like it's rushed through because it's twenty two minutes. That being said, I think it's fine. It's not scary, it's not like it, you know, it feels less. Taiales from the Dark Side than anything we've seen on the show so far in terms of like this is a nice episode, like the stakes are rather low. Bruce Davison really doesn't do anything other than correct question mark his own life, and the only people that are affected are seemingly like the worst human beings straight out of like Rhode Island Central Casting.

But but I digress. It was it was fun, but it did not for me mesh tonally with Tales from the Dark Side as it as it has been so far up into this. I think we're gonna give a lot of that. The tone has changed between this episode of our show and then the next episode of our show. We're gonna be talking about a few things that haven't fit with the first seven eight episodes that we've talked about.

I'm a huge fan of this one. This is one of the few episodes of Tales from the Dark Side that I really remember and remember pretty darn well. I obviously was a fan of the short story. I was a big fan of Night Shift and Skeleton Crew. Really even remember King writing about this because I think he had a Wang computer, so there was a little joke in there as well.

He had a big Wang. I really like this and yes, I love that these people are so awful and getting deleted out of the timeline is pretty great. And you know who doesn't love Bruce Davison. I love that there's the neighbor helper dude who seems to kind of know what's going on with things. The way he's like, I'm not coming over there, be careful and just it feels like the nephew set this all up so that he basically could be given new life.

It's almost like it's a the little Mooky and Pooky for me as far as how that goes. Oh boy, I guess I had forgotten that there was an episode that is very totally inconsistent. I retract half of what I said in terms of we hadn't seen anything up until this point. Oh, you're right, we had. Do you retract the MOOKI or the Pooky half of that.

If you're retracting the Mookie, I'll retract the Pooky. Okay, sounds good. Make sure they both go, That's all I ask. It sounds like we're about to dock ourselves here. Boy.

Yeah, A big fan of this one from the get go, and I really I know Christy said it was rushed I like that it moves so fast because it doesn't feel like I waste a second of time. I mean, we are not messing around with this computer. Like once he deletes that photo of his wife, He's just like, oh, I think I understand how this goes. I don't know if he gets the ideas for twenty best selling books this hat or not, but everything else really fits well. And yeah, I really dig this one.

I should clarify. I don't mean that the episode was rushed as much as the narrative is rushed because of the shortness of the medium through which they're telling it. That. Yeah, though, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with this movie at a very brusque paced How about how about you, father Malone?

Yeah, let me echo what you said, Micah, because I agree. I think this script is incredibly economical. I think we keep seeing that on Tales from the Dark Side, and every time it's happening, it's always kind of a marvel. We've only got twenty two minutes to tell this story, and it could take at least forty if we were over on the Night Gallery Wool. Yeah, the magic tech, it keeps on rolling on tails from the dark Side.

We keep seeing these magical machines, and I think we're going to see a whole lot more of them. A word processor, Bruce Davison says. After the word processor arrives, she says, you can't really afford them these days. So I looked up the medium price of word processor in nineteen eight before you get a word star for about five hundred dollars, no prude, which is a lot but not crazy, not say twelve thousand dollars, which is what you would pay for that Wang System five that Stephen King owned, so he was referring to his own computer there. I think, more than what a work a man can go.

But then if your entire salary is really based on your wife's bingo earnings, five dollars is probably a whole lot. Also, in that scene when Nordoff, I agree with you, Mike, he shows up and it seems to have more knowledge than he's letting on, and then comes back a second time to really let us know he knows more than he's letting on, but then never pays off, never comes back at the end. Oh hey, things worked out okay over here. If you're going to keep bringing him back, then you got to pay him off in some way. Is he mystical or not?

But when Nordoff, the character's name, is when he's dropping off the thing and he's explaining that sometimes these machines are just kind of magical. He tells two stories about kids he knew in his high school, one who made an Adam smasher and another one who made a pipe bomb. Did he go to lex Luthor Memorial High? What the fuck? But just things lying around in their house.

They made pipe bombs and nuclear weapons. And it does seem like the name would you do that? All? Manhattan Project? Christopher, Yeah, Childenheimer, You're right, I just I knew what I was doing.

Child It's it's funny because the neighbor does seem like he knows more. And I'm not just talking about like what's going on with the family, but even like he might be like the magic, he might be magical in and of his self, which is perfectly fine and makes perfect amounts of sense, because again, the computer gets there somehow, and I'm not saying it wouldn't have gotten there anyways. But he also like puts it in his head that like this thing can do anything, and so he starts pushing it and pushing it, and then he makes his wife disappear, which I mean that gag is pretty great. If you're you know, in the eighties and you hate your wife, you know this is fucking Henny Youngman joke. Is what this is.

It's a blackout sketch. Folks like you know, I have a magical computer that helps me, you know what, But this is not a blackout sketch. I know, but you know what I'm but do you play that a lot? And this is not the case there, because what you're talking it is Chris. What you're talking about here.

The central thrust of it where we're all on board for it as viewers is yeah, go ahead and delete that horrible son of yours and delete that horrible wives of yours and all. As a kid, I was fully on board for that. Reading the short story, I'm like, Yeah, this guy deserves a good life. I want him to have that nice son, right, the good wife, and even if he doesn't have ideas for ten or twenty major selling novels, at least he can live a happy existence. But now as I'm watching it, I'm like, you're at least fifty percent responsible for your entire life.

Here, sir, you could pick up that house, you could get up, you could leave, yeah, or yes, try that, like you could leave. I mean that's why I say it's a black sketch. The premise is, but it's done well. The premise is like I've got a computer and it allows me to delete anything. So what does he do.

One of the things he does is deletes his nag of a wife, like do you know what I mean? Like that is a fucking blackout sketch. But Stephen King does one better, which is he makes Bruce Davison and Michael McDowell through adaptation, he makes him a very sympathetic character. There's a version of this where he's just like a fucking dickhead and his wife is a nag, but she's an understandable nag. In this it's like she's not just a nag.

She's like one of the wives that Henry Hill's wife is talking about Lorraine Broco is talking about in Goodfellas. They all wear terrible makeup and they have terrible hand, terrible skin, and it's like that's his wife and the kid is an extension of that. But again it's Stephen King so it's done. Well, that's I mean, to your point one percent. Stephen King knows how to make characters that are imminently interesting to listen to and read about from the moment he starts introducing them.

I think if this had been made on Twilight Zone eighty five that the Boos Davison character would have been a little less sympathetic and what it maybe would not have got away with everything at the end, because I did feel a little bit queasy about the casual nature and with it which with the deletes these people from exit. It's it murders them with no consequence. Yeah, yeah, oh, I don't know. It didn't didn't feel it didn't feel right, you know, it did feel right. The size of that discant, the floppy down, the size of a dinner plate, you know, looking like one of those fold old plastic records you used to get off the cereal boxes.

See it's cristy, Yes, that all I actually I also really really like one of the one of the early things he does is because again, when given a computer that seemingly can do anything, there is a bag of Spanish to balloons in here, like what what an oddly specific and the like weighs them to like, you couldn't have come up with any other thing to wish into existence here other than like a like like you said, like a books or I guess it's the idea of he doesn't know that he can undo things is the more interesting idea. That's kind of only mine for the for the punchline as it were, well, you know what, speaking as somebody who would imagine the balloons, let me just say that that was a totally fine thing for him to do.

And absolutely specifically, if anything was going to appear on the floor, it was never going to be a bag of the balloons unless this computer made it could have sound designed people here who rated the Double Library but came up with something very interesting. All the sounds for that computer were otherworldly and cool. I noticed a lot of the people who worked on the show are involved in Stephen King properties in some way. The computer effects here were done by a guy named Rob Cobrian and he ended up editing needful things. The editor on this one, Scott Frickery edded nightmares and dreamscapes.

You know there's a Stephen King thing with casting. The cast was casting was done by Leonard Finger. He cast Dinner and Night Flyer, two classics. That's not I do like Night Flier, that's mcgluel. I wouldn't underrat it.

I like Thinner a lot, though, as do I is now Robert Burke, who's always super solid. This episode is an I can't tell you how many gypsies I've run down just trying to get cursed. You know, I found him. I think five of one may have the secret here. This is another East Coast episode, East Coast, West Coast.

This one's East Coast. The director of photography is Ernest Dickerson. That's why it looks so fucking good, being not really set bound. And I like some of the effects in here. When he said their version of a flashback is just having the kid kind of appear in the basement with him, but kind of over and crazy.

There's a really good dissolve in there too. I gotta I wonder sometimes during the seventies, as Tabitha King was reading the fiction, Stephen King was how it fell over and over and over again. I mean, he keeps kind of trafficking in these shrewest wives, shrewish wives that deserve to die, or a writer going berserk and trying to kill his wife, Like, how do you process that? You had a word processor? Of the gods, all she wants to do is bring her husband a cup of hot chocolate.

Okay, that's it. What an odd freeze frame? What an odd freeze frame, or not even a freeze frame? I get? What an odd visual to have this woman backlit, just kind of staring longingly at Bruce Davison holding a cup of hot chocolately, Hey, that's the perfect life, don't you understand me?

Yeah? Yeah, like you said, Tapa the King just sitting there and shaking, going, I hope he doesn't murder me in my sleep to eat, like and forbid he minds a computer to delete me. Who do I know in my circle of friends who likes to make cocoa? So the kid and the wife were they married to Vic tay Back suddenly like after this little kid shows up at his office, they get zapped into this guy's life. Is that how this works?

Exactly? If this were all interconnected, which Joe hailed Stephen King's son Joe King eventually trying to do with tailsom dark sid We're eventually going to talk to that talk about that later. There was a very concerted attempt to bring Tails from the Dark sign back in the mid two thousands, which they ended up making into a fantastic comic book. But they were individual tales that were, unbeknownst to the viewer, actually connected and it was all going to and with a finale. But I don't think that's what they're doing here.

Can I say how not necessary that is? In now? Like, I understand why people want that, but as someone you know, in the presence of two other people who either grew up on it or spend their time watching it, now, I can tell you with absolute certainty there's plenty of media that has no need to have any connected anything. Barnie Miller never makes light of the fact that Doris Roberts has played two or three different characters. There's something to be said for that.

I understand why it is the way that it is, thanks Marvel, I guess in big part or the franchisation of things, But I don't need everything to be connected. American horror story you actually better before you weren't true, But this was way ahead of the curve. This is like two thousand and seven or something like that. He was trying to do this so at least he was innovating then, but no, yeah, twenty years later, No, we don't need that, just give us good tales. Well, I think also it speaks to the idea of like, these things can't stand up on their own.

They need to have some sort of framework that they're part of. And it's like these anthology shows are great because they don't have anything. It's just we're done, next episode, nothing to do with it. And that's why, I mean, that's why we're talking about these shows so much, is because we can get our we can go through a lot of different kinds of things without having to spend five hours on any one thing. Instead of deleting his son, who's his main gripe with the sun seemed to be that he playing his guitar too, though you could have just bought him some headphones, just too darn loud.

Reminded me of the beginning of that what is that the Michael Jackson Black and White music video or I guess also twisted sister, I mean, same thing. It's like the of a father cup turn the music down, son, but get it. The kid's a piece of shit this time, all right. Yeah, It's like I don't like, like, did he deserve to die for them? No, that's that's what I'm getting.

Like this one seems like this lighthearted episode where this poor guy gets everything he deserves, But does he did those two really deserve that? Like he murdered with no consequence. I guess I asked this woman to marry him for no good reason. He didn't love her, and come on, well, that's what I thought to myself at them getting an episode. I was like, these two I don't even imagine they were ever in love.

It doesn't seem like this guy would ever have wanted to be with this woman, Like what if it? Did he marry her as some sort of weird consolation prize because he was like that guy in a movie who goes off with the secondary. It's like it so was, Yeah, it's that's exactly what happened. Because he was too timid to propose to Belinda, the one he loved, and his brother ends up Mary. This is so weird, man, This brother, like his nephew, is now his son.

Have we really thought this through, mister King? It's yeah, it's ab but they'll get in here. I got another crazy wife who needs to die. Story for you to read, can see. As long as you bring me hot chocolate in the end, it's fine.

Our next episode is a case of the Stubborns. This is season one, episode nine, aired originally on December the second, nineteen eighty four. Written by James Howden from a story from a story by Robert Block. This is directed by Gerald Conntz as Jerry Smith. He was the DP on Putney Swope and stars Eddie Bracken, Roy Wally Brent Spiner, Bill McCutcheon, and Little Baby Slater his this is his eighth movie credit, or rather television credit, Christian Slater and who knows how many how many commercials he did and Legend of Billy Gen His first feature would be next year, and he'd eventually come back to Talness from the Dark Sknight in nineteen ninety with Tailor from the Dark Side of the Movie.

This is the Story then asked the question what happens when you simply don't accept mortality? That's right, A deceased uncle, despite all evidence of his demise, including a slow and steady rot, just refuses to die. Which I think of this one, Mike, It got real Tedios after a while. It was nice seeing Eddie Bracken. I'm a big fan of Bill mca, the laziest man on Mars, from his incredible role in Santa Claus Conquerors the Martians dropo right, what was his name, Brett Speiner, fucking fantastic.

It was great seeing him as Reverend Peabody. Yeah, it just seemed like it seemed like they were going for some big comedy laughs and just we're missing the mark a little bit. So yeah, I don't think I was that big of a fan of this, And I guess the joke at the end is something about as obvious as the nose on your face. Maybe is that what we're going for? I think so?

Yes, Okay, all right, yeah, Yeah, it just seemed, you know, we're talking so much about the economy of word processor of the gods, whereas this one, this did almost feel like a blackout sketch that was lengthened out to twenty one minutes. For me, there were some highlights. Definitely big Eddie Bracken fan. Like I said, I'm going to be doing an episode of the Projection Booth about two movies he made with Preston Sturges. He hailed a conquering hero and the Miracle at Morgan's Creek like him a lot.

It was good at seeing him at this age. I thought the makeup was done very well. I thought that they kind of rushed through his decomposition in a good way. I was glad when he started to attract flies and all that. I was curious how he could eat as much as he could.

But I'm not going to go down that path. But yeah, so kind of middling for me. I think it was fun. I agree with Mike. It becomes a little ponderous towards the end, but that's just because I mean, they keep recycling the same gang, and not even recycling as much as they keep fixating on like, oh, look he's gross.

Look he's gross. It's like, yeah, no, we we get it. And obviously, you know there is not another segment here, So if you're gonna do this, it has to be twenty two minutes, which does seem even a tad long for this premise. I mean the scene initially at the breakfast table where he doesn't he looks, he looks weird, but he doesn't look where he will end up. I mean that that scenems fantastic, and I think as as it kind of goes on.

The gag does wear a tad thin. But like Mike mentioned, good to see Christian Slater, Brett spar ER's great. I mean, he's he's probably behind. I mean, I guess you know. Eddie Bracken and Christians later are good.

I mean, the three of them, including Brett Speiner, pretty good. Brett Speiner is given a lot to do in a very little amount of time, and his scene opposite Eddie Bracken is pretty great. Yeah, it was a fun episode. It was just a little a little long in the tooth, but that's okay. I I know that if this had been Night Gallery, it probably a would not have been as funny as it is, and B it might have been paired up with something else that would have helped decrease this episode's length of time.

But there's a more than zero percent chance that it would just be paired with a shitty blackout sketch. Yeah. I like this one. The final shan of this one fucked me up as a kid that knows that stringy white material trailing out of it and all the goo. Ah my god, it bothers me to this day.

Robert Block thoughts on Robert Block Block thoughts he was never the strongest dialogue, was he? No, and certainly kind of attracts the worst of the dialects here. Good God, the dialect here would be suspected a dime novel from like nineteen fifty seven, but this was written in the nineteen seventies. And now I don't care if it's a period piece. You are really tasking the performers here.

There's just just try not to go full corn pone. I reckon, you're the contrarious que I ever did see that's a line from this script. I thought Eddie Bracken fucking kills it here. No pun intended, like he just so much life, always in motion and always it Look, here's the problem with the reason it runs out of steam is because no one just says, here, look in this mirror, here's your proof. Look at your skin.

It's sloughing off of your body. You're clearly dead. That would probably answer his questions. But the other thing is, what is the ultimate problem here? He's disintegrating.

Give him another day or two and you won't have a problem again. What is the problem if he comes back as a skeleton. I'm just kidding that would make it even less sense. Well, and it feels like this whole thing is taking place over like a day and a half when if how can I put this? Like watching the episode, it feels like the time in the episode is like two days at most, whereas his decomposition feels like it should have been stretched out to a few weeks.

And him being like the house guests that won't go away and also de king I think would have been funnier, but it just doesn't feel like they have that much time to play with. Does that make sense what I'm saying? Yeah? No, absolutely, There's a lot that's off, including the comedy. It's like almost to the finish line, but doesn't quite get there, over and over and over again, like Frinz Miner is heaving mightily against the tide of the lack of comedy here, but for some reason that doesn't work.

Either as good as he is, as good as all of them are, it just doesn't kind of gel Oh my god, I know you, I knowed your grandpap from the long ago. That was another line, You're better than a Thanksgiving turkey. Good god, it's the Witch. Yeah, we go to visit the Witch, which mercifully. When they said I'm gonna go visit the old Voodoo Woman, I was like, oh no, no, no, no, okay, it's yeah, eccentric white woman.

Okay, I'm yeah. I was really expecting like, oh, here's estra roll and I could have been dreadful, but no paid off at least to your point, father bloona ball. Why don't they just show him the mirror? Don't they get him to breathe on the mirror? Right?

Point? Like? Should that not have been enough? That should have been enough? Right?

What? I don't understand? What? What are we ultimately saying you're just so stubborn that some stubborn old coots won't die? But is there some other parable going on here?

But like old ways versus new or something? Did I miss something? Or is this just stretched down a little too long? I think what it is, it's an effects it's an effects playground for them doing the effects on Eddie Brackett. Right, yeah, I would say so, because they're they're great.

And the last episode, the last couple of episodes, we haven't really had a creature or a monster, so it's time to swing for that. Eddie Bracken's mouth is really gross to keep having to look at I'll say that much. That's true, having to like watch him eating things as this, like decaying old man, it's pretty great. Yeah, yeah, I guess it's like I guess when he just goes upstairs and dies, they just take his corpse like throw it out back. They're like, well, fuck this guy one with hell?

I mean yeah, like wouldn't you just die already? Yeah? But again, like I didn't really see the problem like that. There's no conflict with him still being alive, Like, you know, if we can't prove that he's dead, we're going to lose the farm. I don't know, something like he's just annoying.

He's just he's attracting flies, he's eating so much and he stinks. Like yeah, the problem for most of American families, right, everybody's got one. Or is that the point that they were trying to make time to move on? Grandpa gotta get your own place here with you go lie down? Is a parable about putting your grandparents in an old folks on You know, I wish that's what it was, so at least we could walk away from this not just being like well, it just feels like they wanted us to see Eddie Brackett and make up six times, six different ways.

Yeah, this he looks nasty as he looks nasty as fucked towards the end, like just look, he's gotta be what it's like sixties seventies here, and he's like, slap that makeup on me. Go ahead, you know, right, that old Hollywood workhorse mentality. What's the gig today? What am I who? What's what's the accent I'm doing?

All right, let's go fellows. See. I would I would think that that's Eddie Brackett, but that it comes across the role. The role that he plays here. I mean the episode works as well as it does for as long as it does, even though it does overstay, it's welcome primarily because of how good he is.

M Oh yeah No. If it was somebody lesser in that role, I mean, it's already pretty insufferable, but I think it would have been even more insufferable. Yeah, thank god we had a charming person at the center of this one. Oooh, it could have been in real trouble. Yeah, he definitely understood the brief where it's just like be cantankerous, but be funny at the same time, I'm gonna be under how much makeup?

Which right layered on? Where do I stand? Give me my lit on? Let's hear this thing? Roll it?

Do it live all right? On the next episode of Midnight VIEWA, we'll be taking look at two episodes from season one. Those are Gin No Chaser and All a Clone by the Telephone, a punny title that makes no sense. Midnight Viewing the Horror Anthology Podcast is a proud member of weirding Way Media Group and our theme song was composed by HP Until next time. What are you working on and where can you find it?

Mike White? Well, just like this show, everything that I do is available over at wordingwaymedia dot com, including the projection booth, which I shamelessly plugged question mark, Not really, I was just making conversation, So yeah, you find that and some of the other stuff that is being worked on by me over there. Not that anybody would want to hear more of me talking, but yeah, how about you, Chris, make sure to cut that part out follo him alone. Now I'm going to leave it in this irony. Ah fair, you can find me and all the things that I talk about at Weirdingwaymedia dot com.

Yeah, like Mike said, this show all the things we worked on in the past, Father Malone and I covered all of tales from the crypt as As much fun as that sounds, it was fun to talk about, maybe not so much to watch unlike this show. So if you're into anthology shows and things of that nature, especially people talking about them, weirding Way Media is where you can go. What about you, Father Malone. Oh, over there at the weirding Way same thing. You can hear shows like Noise Junkies music show I do with with Mondo, Heather's Heather Draine and HP who I also do a show about the classic classic television sitcom Taxi that's called Night Mister Walters.

You can check both of those that both of those out over there. Thank you all for joining us here ed midd Viewing. Until next time, try to enjoy the Daylight Midnight Viewing. The Horror Anthology Podcast is a proud member of Weirdingway Media. Our theme song was composed by HP with an assist from Donald Rubinstein and Erica Lindsay.

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