Tales from the Darkside S01E16&17(The Tear Collector & The Madness Room)

Remember the stories that kept you awake at night living in that closet. Dr Benner, can you still hear the screams? I love having the children for dinner, All from your television set in the night Gallery A dark Side. Midnight Viewing the Horror Anthology Podcast join hosts fatherm Alone, Mike White, and Chris Stashu as they exhumed some of the most infamous horror television of all time Midnight Viewing from weirding Way Media weird Way, Welcome back to Midnight Viewing, the Horror Anthology Podcast, where this season we're taking a look at George Romero's nineteen eighties series Tales from the Dark Side. I'm your host, Father Malone, and sharing the Midnight view with me are the projection booths Mike White, Salty Tears and the Culture Cast Chris Statue.

I have something to tell both of you. This is not, in fact a real madness room. It's just the one I made while you were out of town. Oh man, you're always doing that. Before we get going tonight, I just want to take a moment to say hello to our listeners across the oceans.

That's Atlantic and Pacific. Did you fellows know that thirty percent of our audience are in the UK, Ireland and Australia. Them folks have good taste from what I've heard, so I just wanted to welcome them and thank them all for listening. Drop us a note, particularly if you're in County Sligo, Ireland, where you'll most likely have dealt with some of my kin I apologize. Tonight we're taking a look at two episodes from season one.

They are The Teer Collector and The Madness Room. The Tear Collector is season one episode sixteen, which originally aired on February the twenty fourth, nineteen eighty five. This one was written by John Drimmer and Jeffrey Loftus based on a short story by Donald Olson, and it was directed by John Drimmer. This one is. This one stars a cavalcade of anthology veterans.

By cavalcade, I mean read people, Jessica Harper who was also in Tails from the Crypt, Victor Garber who was also in Twilight Zone nineteen eighty five, A Day in Beaumont, and Erica Bagosian who was also in Twilight Zone eighty five. He was a healer. And this is a Jack Spratt tale of a woman who can't stop crying and a man who lives to collect tears and what's behind that French filigree door. What'd you think of this one, Chris? I was so disappointed to learn that this was not about a guy tearing pieces of paper out of a book at a library, the tear collector, the tear collector, you know what this was.

This was fine, It was perfectly fine. It was very wouldn't say, I mean, what's funny is on the last episode, last couple of episodes we've done, was like, man, this show's really mean. All of a sudden, the show got really nice. All of a sudden. It's oh, you don't know, there's nothing that needs to be learned here.

This is all a lark and it's all for fun, and you're gonna meet the taxicab driver of your dreams and she does. I think it's fine. I mean, it's Jessica Harper, which for me is the draw. That was why it was ultimately kind of taken in by it. And then you've mentioned some of the other people that are just kind of here.

I thought it was fine. It's not trying to do anything particularly interesting or exciting, but It's a nice little Tales from the dark Side story, how about you, Mike? Yeah, I thought it was okay. I don't know why, but with this group of episodes, I was really noticing the commercial breaks and really noticing the act structure and just was this like, okay, Yeah, I still don't exactly get Victor Garber's motivation. And you mentioned Eric Pagozian.

What the fuck he just shows up for like one scene and harasses her and that's it. I mean, does he did he fall asleep? Does he come back? Now? Okay?

Doesn't even tell her that he's her captor and that he's there oversight, big oversight? Really yeah? So yeah, I thought it was okay, but I really wanted there to be more to that. You know, there's an old genre novelist term for the type of starring type of story being told here, fucking bananas. I thought this episode was crazy, Gentlemen.

This is a woman who can't stop crying and some immortal being who lives to collect tears. What he does with these tears, I'm still not sure. I know that in his Brownstone apartment, somewhere in Queen's he's got a chamber of ancient sorrows room. That's what's behind that French filigree door. That's not my term for it, it's his where it's a circular room with jars from every possible age and continent.

What I love is Jessica Harper's character is she'd be called a spinster back in the Night Gallery days, but she can't get a date because she can't stop crying, because she's just sad all the time. She happens to run into this immortal being who loves to collect tears, and he does so and eventually shows her the jars of the other tears he's collected. So he shows her that a jar that contains the tears of an Aztec who watched the conquista or has burn his civilization to the ground, and a mother whose confederate son never returned from battle, and now a mousey girl from fucking the Bronx, Like, what where's the correlation there? Okay? Also, I was wondering what this episode is actually about, right, because is it just a thing about the boomers figuring out that they all need therapy?

I was under the impression I just read it super on its face. The Victor Garber is just it an insane person and he's just like, I got this room of tears and give me your tears. Like it wouldn't that be funnier if it's just like a legit insane person just has all these vials in a room and is like, I have tears of an has tech. I mean, look, he can't prove any of it. So a story is just a great story, That's all I'm saying.

Wouldn't it be weird if this guy was just like, Hey, I got this room full of tears, want to see You'd be like, Eh, If this person invited me over to their house, I'd be like, sure, show me your room of tears. Why not? But the fact that, yeah, the fact that Jessica Harper for some reason has the tears that in his mind are equivalent or on the same level as I mean, he could have said I watched a woman, I have the tears of a woman who had to make a decision which child to send to Auschwitz, Like that's kind of what I was expecting, and instead it's Jessica Harper. Okay, So I just read it as this guy's a lonely weirdo who's just a weirdo, and there's I don't know if there is any pretense to what he's doing.

He could just be a weirdo and notice the end there's Jessica Harper has a roommate character, and this just reminded me that roommates on television and movies just exist to drop exposition and have their dresses hemmed by the protagonists, or talk to them when they're getting ready to warn them. Just remember to tell me where you're going and what time you're gonna be back. Okay. And I love that anytime a woman shows up with that was unexpectedly on them. She's a prostitute.

Roommate goes immediately to what are you doing for this money? Aren't you? Don't you know each other? You've met her right there? You live with Yeah, it seems like she's hoeing out there.

The thing is, I was so curious why is she so sad? I kept waiting for there to be a reason why she was just so darn sad and crying all the time. Speaking of that now, I fully believe Jessica Harper when she's emoting how sad she is the problem. In the episode, it is called the Tear Collector, and there are no natural tears on display here. They're not even using glycerine.

It just seems to be water that they've sort of splashed on her face, like right before the camera rolls, or sometimes while the camera is rolling, when they're doing the first closeup of the of him collecting her tears in a jar, you can clearly see they're dropping it in from out a frame. In this case, I'm going to blame Jeff free Wolf, friend of Midnight Viewing and the editor of this episode. My god, man, just you needed to cut a little bit later so we didn't see the dropper. Yeah, that was a big problem. Well, look, at the end of the day, if John Rothman steps out of a taxi and says to you, hey, what are you doing out here?

I look into his eyes for a second and I let him woomy. Right, Well, she's in the perfect position to be worried by a cab driver who has decided to park in the middle of the fucking street and just abandon his cab and walk home with her. Yeah, well that's what happens when he got fired from the library in New York City. I don't know who we're talking ghostbusters. This is literally the guy from Ghostbusters.

It's literally the g what's that got to do with it? The fucking the Library guy like a Harper And I'm like, was she in library? No? She wasn't. I just wish.

You know what, here's the thing. The reality of this episode is the three of us love Jessica Harper, and they give her nothing to do in this episode. That's a shame. If there's a shame here, it's that this is the episode with Jessica Harper in it, and she's not really given a whole lot to do other than look sad. Hey just look sad.

Okay, that's all you're doing. That's the one note we need you to hit for twenty two minutes. There's something inherently creepy about collecting tears anyway, and you know they kept I like your idea, Chris, that this is just some fucking psychopath who is quite women's tears and pretending he's an immortal, right because he would actually be doing her service if she cries all the time. But this forcing herself to stop crying, and this guy's no, just do it, just right. I it all out, Like, eventually she's going to stop crying if she's being encouraged to do it, so he's he's performing a service here, but he's definitely immortal because they she comes into the chamber and he's got one of the tear bottles open and he's listening to it and he's crying as well, and like when she breaks one of them, like there's a howling wind.

So this is definitely an actual supernatural story. But of all the things to collect tears and it trades in the kind of veiled conversation. Victor Garber never answers her questions. He's always just like, let's just say, I provide a service. No, what do you do?

What are you the devil, sir? That's always how the devil talks and devils like, well, I give people a second chance to what sell your soul? What are you? Stop speaking in fucking coded language, my friend. But these kinds of shows cron Tails from the Crypt did it, Twilight Zone did it, This show has done it, Night Gallery has done it.

We always run into these kinds of episodes where someone is just double speaking to death. Yeah, and you know, I guess she's just so she's so enamored and like just appreciate its having some of the talks that she doesn't care what he's doing or what this is all about. It's weird, it's kind of it's this is the scenario we're given here, sort of the opposite of a sexual relationship where one person develops feelings for the other. It's an all emotional relationship where one person develops feelings the other in that way. I thought it was kind of clever.

But I too would like to know why our lead character is so sad. Not you can't just say I've just always been sad. That's not a thing at This character was broken and how did that happen? Well? There is it is about.

Yeah, there is clinical depression. There is clinical depression. To be fair. Oh, I didn't mean to say that. All the load says nobody just smile more, okay, and you'll be better.

But you know what, if she was actually clinically depressed, then I don't think the solution something else about it. Yeah, let me collect your tears. I did like that the jark that was collecting the tears was Swan shaped. Oh, only one person who can sing for her. Here's the thing, though, You know how they really could have turned it up here.

They could have had him doing something with the tears other than just listening to them. If he's a tear collector, you're telling me as an ortal, he's never been like what did they taste? How has he never been like droppering it into his mouth? That's what I expected. Yeah, none of that.

It's so they have an interesting concept and they really they just they stop at that. There's nothing else. Guy collects tears, tell me, and then nothing, and then nothing because they're making it this smurry about falling in love with somebody who's just there to help you and doesn't have those feelings and you shouldn't do that. That's I mean, on his basic sort of level, that's what it's about. But going to therapy.

Yeah, she's just paying him in his currency of choice. I wish I could pay my therapist in tears. It could be a lot better off. Oh, here you go, right, he can hit the nail on the head. Is this the spark that led to Eric Progojian's one man shows?

Was it this character that led him to sex, drugs in rock and roll or stumbling around on stage like a homeless man, that's one of his characters eventually, that's true. Yeah, it was his time on this show. I don't know if I told you this before, but that film of his One Man Shows extruction Rock and Roll. I'm actually in the audience when they were filming. Oh wow, I sat next to Stephen Tyler from Aerosmith.

It was mutual. Why has a big mouth? Yes, Oh, it's very enormous, actually quite frightening. Other notes I have here, This was the first time one of the New York episodes seemed a bit set dound, just in the Jessica Harper's apartment. But I am I'm not blaming Robert Draper here, who's fucking excellent DP.

I'm placing the blame on John Drummer. Didn't seem didn't see a scene he didn't want to overlight. If he had just taken one or two lights away, then I wouldn't be even nitpicking right now about it, because the rest of the stuff is all on location at Alleyways and Brownstones looks great, and I'm sure his house is a set, but did not feel like it even the chamber cryptic nonsense. Drimmer has not worked on much things other than literally like documentary style stuff, well, a lot of medical stuff, right, Yeah, This and Battle for the Erogenous Zone were the only two directing titles that he has, and then he has producer on a bunch of stuff. So I'm gonna have to check out that one.

And wrote nineteen eighty four's Iceman. I don't know that one starring Timothy Hutton as a Oh okay, the one with John Loan, the where he's searching for a Heart of Gold. Yeah, it's John Loan as a caveman who gets unfrozen. He's unfrozen caveman John Loan. And at one point they're in front of a big, raging campfire and Timothy Hutton starts to sing Neil Young's Heart of Gold and John Loan starts to sing it with him.

So music is calming the savage beast that it just came to me. I've seen that movie as well. Oh my god, I were the poster for it, written by John Drimmer everybody. So that's a movie that and it's appears by Norm Jewison. So there you go.

That's pretty good. I'd watch it Caveman cinema. It does not have enough representation, I don't think. No, no, except for the old tel hartment as you mentioned Mike, I don't understand your modern laws system. Yeah.

Same, just a simple caveman lawyer. Yeah, that is the best one. Really, Time to go mad? Yes, indeed, our next episode is the Madness Room. This is season one, episode seventeen, aired originally on May the fifth, nineteen eighty five.

This one was written by Thomas Eperson and directed by John Hayes. Stars Stuart Whitman, Teresa Pere, who was a regular stand in on darkn Telsam The Dark Side. She was a stand in for seventeen episodes. Also stars Nick Benedict. And this is a night gallery episode that somehow managed to slip through all those years unaired.

It even has why Digman. It's actually the tale of a wealthy ailing man and his younger trophy wife in their evening playing hardy boys meet river and werewolf. Okay, not a werewolf but a ghost maybe. What was you think of this one, Mike? It's interesting, I mean, talk about the machinations that they have to go through in order to make this plan that they have work.

I mean, spoilers are okay, right, Just that they're setting up this whole thing and doing everything with the Luigi board and oh yeah, when we bought this house, there was this extra room and I had it, you know, ordered over so that we could discover it. I'm just like the lengths you went to to do this, It's great. Wouldn't it just be simpler to poison your husband rather than scare him into a heart attack. Wouldn't it be easier to just shoot him the fucking head, hide the body, and throw away the gun. Wouldn't it be easier to smother him with a pillow, which is what they eventually land on.

No, it's much easier to build a room in your house, then build another room around that room so that you can find the room. And then oh, it turns out there is a ghost in the house. Everybody, So what the actual fuck? Anyways, this is one of the most pedantic episodes I've ever seen. Were like, what are we doing here, folks?

What are we doing? And the quickest wrap up just like what it? I did not shoot you. I was all a joke, but there is a ghost that wait what Yeah, We're going eight different directions in fifteen seconds and none of them seem to be anything tangibly coherent, and felt like they just landed on the last one and We're like, okay, sure it was a ghost all along, Like why spend all this time doing anything else if there was just a ghost? Well, they needed a supernatural twist at the end to justify all the Scooby Doo bullshit that came beforehand.

M yeah, I think the I think the supernatural twist at the end undoes every single amount of Scooby Doo bullshit because the ghost, what the ghost is chilling that whole time, just like I'm gonna let them do all this and then when they get to the point where I can do something, then I'll step in. That's what happened. It's actually a very helpful ghost. That's the part of the episode that I liked. The rest of this fucking elaborate plan to build a room and then set deck it and you know, hanging up all of these like dolls by the neck from the ceiling, practicing it like like some lunatic had been in there forever, Like what the fuck are you?

You just he's got a bad heart, he's got kicked off at any moment. That's what I never understand about any of these fucking these triangle episodes where an old man has to be murdered so they can get his money. It's like they're always so frail. Just let him die or do that pillow push him down the stairs? Oh my god, no, yeah, so strange.

Yeah, it was a lot. And then I was talking about the whole commercial break thing, that scene where they're trying to get into the room and then she pulls out a gun. Cut to commercial commercial. Why do you have a gun? I just thought it'd be safer.

Oh okay, yeah, well like a total like Alfred Hitchcock Presents or just like actually like dukes of Hazard d. You don't think they're gonna do that to old Jesse, right, looks like those boys are in a heap of trouble. Let's see what happens on the other side of his commercial bridge and the other thing ultimately the idea that they hand the guy a lantern and he tosses it and lights the room on fire on top of it. What are you guys doing? What is don't kill him?

If you're gonna kill him, don't just let him sit there and continue to talk. It's like the dumbest James Bond villain nonsense too. And here they are expousing their evil plan, but he's still alive. What are we do? Guys?

You could have just killed You could have killed him five times over by now. Nope, Nope, we just want We're so stupid, we need to die. I can go up to my room and get against Yeah, she literally has the gun on her. Yeah. Ugh, this is I was hoping the fish Lady would show up and save Stuart Whitman.

Yeah right, because that's last time we saw him, or I thought the last time was with that trunk in the Anneic. Yeah, oh yeah, see another friendly ghost. Just don't move that trunk and you'll be okay. Don't talk to that fish lady and you'll be fine. Nick Benedict, who plays Stuart women's business associate, looks like David Naughton from an American werewof in London?

If he was on steroids? Yes, swollen notting, if he had rabies? Was that a model? I wondered as this episode began. Was that a model house that they just showed us what kind of look like a model?

And then they cut back to it. Yeah, yep, that's a model. What are they doing? Why do they have a model? Oh?

So we could burn at the end, except the effect probably looked terrible because all we get is some smoke pouring out of this model, just confirming it's a model anyway, pouring out of one side, just one little tiny area too. Yeah, boy, is this episode supposed to be scary? Is it supposed to be like a shock? No, it's just I don't know, like it's two idiots getting they're just desserts. It's okay.

It's supposed to be a mystery thing. Yeah, where they you know, eventually the supernatural intrudes. But this, you know, it's funny. They use a wija board here, and this represents the limitations of all wija boards in cinema. You have to wait forever as they scratch out the fucking letters for god, it said the madness room.

Really, it must have taken ten minutes for I'm glad they cut away. The madness room sounds like my first wife's room. Take my wife, please, take my wife. Also, as they start their little quasi sounds, she lets us know that the spirit guide is the person who was once in this house. Is that a thing?

I don't think that's an actual rule. Yeah, your spirit guide is your spirit guide. It has nothing to do with the former owner. Of your domicile one that they knew his name, and then they're like, oh yeah, like the they call out to them. Towards the end they show the photo of them.

I'm like, they knew this guy? How did they know this guy? And what's funny about? Okay, Like, just on the basic scenario, it's a dark and stormy night, an impromptu business situation shows up where his partner whomever has to show up and his wife's immediate reaction is, let me break out the wuijabord. And then when this new guest says I'm not really comfortable with this, Stuart Woman insists that he fucking get his fucking hands on that plastic planchette.

It start fucking. He deserves to die too. They're all of them. Yeah, no, all very distasteful people, people I didn't really want to hang out with for half an hour, whether they had guns or not. I mean, to your point though about the other Stewart Woman episode, this is very similar to that Night Gallery episode.

It feels kind of part and parcel with the kinds of things that we were seeing in Night Gallery. I mean, you're very apt bottom alone with the Night Gallery. This one eaked its way out, because boy, I was waiting for Rod to talk about the painting along with this one. Mm hm, Well it would have been a painting of that that who was a Joe or Bob or whoever it was their spirit guy Ben would look no more. Yeah, it would have been a giant key scoff at me and damned you'll be lock the door behind us for drop key and crack the only way back.

Okay, the ghost wrote the last line. But these idiots who had all this time to come up with an entire room. Also what I love is, Yeah, at a certain point, Stewart woman is looking at the blueprints and he says, oh, hey, you know it's it's not a you know that hallway we have that has no windows and no doors and just leads to nowhere. Apparently there's a room down there. Don't you live in a house that has a secret room you don't know about?

Also just a hallway with no windows or doors or anything that just goes nowhere. And you never thought to yourself, is there a haunted room in this house? Where did she get the pistol? Did she have it the whole time? And no one who shoot him?

Yeah, you have a gun to shoot him, Yeah, to shoot him in the head and take his body and put it in the room and then board it back up exactly. I mean, I guess that was their plan. But just put him in the room and fucking board it up. Who gives a shit? Yeah, like the cask of a mantiato, but you know, the tails from the dark Side version.

Nope, just gotta be. I don't know. It felt it felt like, Okay, we get to this point at the end where it's all but you didn't but I didn't. It's all that's the twist I do that moment and these kinds of things where it's like I did you know? Did you?

Oh? It was a supernatural thing, Like I do love that moment of realization. It's just here, it's I don't know, not the worst version of it, but just like for real, like we got all the way to this point for that. Come on. It's also the pilot of Night Gallery with Roddy McDowell being the couple.

I mean, right, fair Yeah, Yeah, that's also that's also very fair. Yeah, this feels very part and parcel with the kinds of stories we've seen just in general and anthology shows. There's always one or two these kinds of stories, and as there's like a twist at the least possible moment. That's with all of the towns from Dark Suns. I haven't really disliked any episode that I've always found something interesting in all of them.

It's just that this one. Take it back to the fucking Night Gallery, guys, it don't belong here. I'll take it. I'll take two tier collectors to this one old dark house, stormy dark knight bullshit. Yeah, yeah, Well, and that's the other thing I mean again, I don't know if you saw this when it originally aired, if you'd be like, oh, this was really something.

But in terms of watching so many of these kinds of things and now having this kind of collective knowledge of the deck that they often play with, this is a well worn and often used card, and I haven't seen it used well enough for them to keep going back to it as they often do. It's very much just like, Okay, do a haunted house story, but don't make it like this, because these are all kind of a piece at this point, is what it feels like. Even the tails from the crypt Ones. If you're going to do a haunted house story like this, where you're playing with the possibility of perception. Then you got to have Leslie Nielsen with an eyepatch or I'm not buying, yeah, something anything, Stuart Whitman just being an old man that they can't kill because he's an old man.

It's just that's anthology logic right there. You have to be as we have to be as contrived as possible to kill him because the gun with bullets is not good enough, and the setup is good, the fucking the payoff is good. It's just it's too elaborate. Yeah, so elaborate. I just didn't believe it when it just kept going on.

I was like, really, like when they first woke up, you know, or they're like, oh, yeah, he's dead, and then he wakes up and I was like, wait what, I don't go out right, oh boy, why would you even say that, bunny? But yeah, I just kept going on and on and being layered and layered. I was like, how long have you been working on this plan? They've been working on it so long that again, they could have just shot him all the time they've spent thinking, they didn't just go what if we have a gun and we just shoot him. No, that doesn't happen in the dark side.

No, And had it just been the wife, then it might have been okay, but this is a dude. At some point one half of the duo is going to say, is there an easier way? Also? Why would you lock? Why wouldn't you lock the door behind you?

Why would you both go in? Why would you both go in? Why wouldn't there's two of you for a reason. One would stand outside the door be like, okay, I'm gonna let you out now. Oh.

She goes to go for the door and it's locked, and then she oh and he opens it and then he's got a gun and he shoots him. Okay, better twist. Nope, it's just we're all in the room together. What what? What?

Okay? Sure you want to hear yourself that close to danger? Be my guest? Is there a pool on the property? Because I doubt he's a very good swimmer.

I mean, push him in, knock him over the head and push him in. They can't even tell, just couldn't tell a little bit of our snick in this coffee every single Yeah, slip him like a valium or something, and just push him into the pool. Yeah, so many easier ways to murder someone. No, this is this is the kind of thing you do to someone that you hate. But I don't get the sense that she hates her husband that much.

But like the lenks she goes to, is like, you really have a personal problem with this person if you're going to those links to get revenge on them, And that could have been more interesting. They presented Stuart Woman as a ripe old trick xactly. Then we could sign with them, and then him and then the ghost overall, the ghost dost want anyone in there? That would be all right? God, we're fan fictioning the ghost.

Let the ghost let him and die. On top of everything else, the ghost only interjected himself after Stuart Whitman was dead too. The ghost is just ambivalent, completely ambivalent, doesn't care at all. Just okay, it would have been nice to know any one's point of view, even the ghosts. Yeah, really all right.

On the next episode of Midnight Viewing, we'll be taking a look at two episodes from season one. Those are If the Shoe Fits and The Levitation. Midnight Viewing the Horror Anthology Podcast is a proud member of weirding Way media Group and our theme song was composed by HP Until next time, what are you working on? Where can people find it? Mike White, I asked always.

I'm Wolver at the Projection Mooth, which is part of the weirding Way media network, or you can go to Projection moothpodcast dot com. We're talking about movies every single week and have been doing that for over thirteen years and planing on doing it for at least another two weeks, so by the time it's theirs, hopefully the podcast will still be there. How about you and Chris Sesh? Yeah, dot com is where you can find everything that I work on, including a culture cast, which I have been doing for ten years. And yeah, less, I'm not even going to go two weeks out in the future to one.

One week and that's it. One week. We'll see you next Tuesday, folks. You can find everything that I work on there, aside from one thing, which you can find over at my Patreon or at Mike's Patreon, which is patreon dot com slash culture Cast or patreon dot com slash Projection Booth, which is ranking on bond where the two of us and Richard had him take a look at bond once a month. That's something you're into.

Ten dollars a month or more gets you access to that. As for me, you can check me out on Midnight Viewing. This used to be a monthly show, and then it was a bi monthly show, and now it's a weekly show. So you can hear us on here doing midnight viewing the Horror Anthology Podcast or our sister series, Midnight Viewing Anthologies Attack with my co host Antonio Lapour. Thank you all for joining us here at midnight viewing.

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