108.1: Welcome to The Bastion of Awesomeness

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Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian. I'm Greg. I'm Jay.

I am Misty. And I'm Marlena. And it's been quite a while since we've had a regular type show. It's all been road trips and holiday specials and co-hosts and God knows what. 30-year-old crap.

Tough luck. You're back whether you like it or not. I know, you're in my house. Even worse, we've invaded your home. Which rarely ever happens.

Because we had to clean. After Misty just heard about the frigid conditions in the last recording session, she decided... She was not comfortable with it being 40 degrees whilst recording. So, yeah, we've relocated to the Casa de Misty and Jay. Or it stays a comfortable 75 degrees.

Do you have a name for your studio? No. Oh, man. It's our kitchen. You're ruining the illusion.

The bastion of awesomeness. There you go. I was referring to it as Jay and Misty's magical museum. Yeah. There you go.

There is a lot to look at. Let's just sit here. We haven't even gotten the rest of the museum tour. Quite an extravaganza. Of dorkiness.

While cleaning, I was too distracted. I was like, oh my god, yeah, it's awesome. Look how much, oh my god, look at my stuff. Yeah, it took a while to clean because I had to stop and play with stuff. See, you're as bad as I am because that's why I never get anything done.

I was like, look what I found. Holy shit. The only time you play with your toys is when you're cleaning. 20 minutes later, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be moving stuff over there. That's why my house is dirty.

I just relocate things. That's my plan. I do that. That's my plan. Except for my kitchen.

My kitchen's really clean. It's the cleanest our kitchen's ever been. All right. Anything else before we move on into the geek activities? Nope.

I'll just roll. Should we snack away on our French vanilla marshmallows? Which we've decided is the perfect podcasting snack because it's silent. Except when you try really hard. I don't like that sound.

That's squishy. We need to be sponsored by marshmallows. That's all I'm saying. The Stay Puft Girl. Ooh, wait a minute.

I'm on board for that. We're eating this in honor of the Stay Puft Girl. Who has yet to contact us. What's up with that? She's smart.

That she is. She knows we'll be peeping in her window if she doesn't know. Where she is. Well, you know. Alright, on to this week's geek activities.

As for myself, um, actually this is just a assemblage of stuff, because again, we've had quite a while since we've sat down, so. In the last several weeks, anyway, um, one of which I've watched is The Town. How'd that go? Um, Affleck needs to stick to directing. He's, uh, he's actually pretty damn good at it, and, um, I don't know.

It's the only place he seems to get respect anymore. You know, I mean, anything he's done that he's either written or directed, it's like he seems like he puts a lot more care in and a lot more invested in it, so it actually comes out really well. I mean, out of the three things he's done as far as writing and now directing, it's like all of those are ten times better than his, like, acting projects, so... I don't know. I think you should stick to that.

I mean, I understand sometimes you gotta cash a paycheck, and yes, unfortunately, I'm referencing one of his movies, but you have to cash... You have to cash a paycheck to be able to afford to do your Gone Baby Gone, so I mean, it's... I understand it's gotta be a balance. A lot of big names do that, but he just seems like such a jerk in most of his other movies, and people just kinda hate him, so it's amazing to see him come back around and, number one, be a good director and turn in something useful, and Also, he does a decent job as far as the acting performance. He still lays it in with the Boston accents.

But other than that, it's still pretty impressive. And Jeremy Renner, as per usual, is pretty damn impressive too. So it's a good movie. I was kind of surprised how well it turned out. Has anyone seen it?

I've stayed away from it for the sole purpose of it is that boston thing that kind of drives that chapter it gets annoying so uh same thing with you know the new jersey mafia movie yeah that the cliches get old and it just gets sick of watching those so i i now that you say this is good, maybe I'll. Try it out. That's at least the characters, because it does, I mean, in the first, like, 15, 20 minutes, you get that very Boston setup of, you know, everybody in this area, and it is a specific area they're referencing, this neighborhood is, you know, hardcore Boston, it's, you know, tons of hardcore characters, it is where all of the, I mean, it is the most concentrated place of bank robberies across the country, or some weird statistic, where the most bank robberies take place in this little 20-mile radius or something than anywhere else in the country.

So it is a very specific thing that he's going for here. So I guess it's okay for him to tap into that. But yeah, every once you get past that in the first 20 minutes or so, the rest of the story kicks in. And it's actually not a bad story. It's not groundbreaking, but it's actually pretty good.

Yeah, I have no interest in this whatsoever. Gotta have some Affleck love. Come on. No, I think I'm good. I want to watch Affleck.

I'll watch him in, like, tomorrow. He is awesome. Fashionable male. That's all I need from Affleck right there. You just want him to beat you with a paddle.

That's what you want. It's a very uncomfortable place. Back of a road sweat. So, let's see. Other than that, I just actually this morning finished watching The Blob, the 80s version.

Wow. Has anybody seen that? That was. Yeah. I liked it.

It's one of those I kind of remembered a long time ago, but had not gone back to re-watch it in 15, 20 years. So I was like, I've heard so many things about it that were pretty positive in the last few years. It's like, I kind of want to go back and watch it. So it's actually one in watching it I think would be interesting for us to do, or maybe even a series of Blob, because I kind of want to go back and watch the first one. And I think I'd forgotten there was a sequel kind of thing that came out maybe 70s.

I don't know. I may just not go too far into it and save it. That's like Beware the Blob or something. It's got Larry Hagman in it. How can you go wrong?

I think if nothing else, we need to do that one, and then maybe we can follow that up with the 80s blob. I won't go too far into it, but it is a lot of fun, and they found a way to one-up what the first one did. I love the first one. It's just campy awesomeness. I've always loved the first one, even as a kid.

They found a way to do something new and different with it, which... A lot of the 80s remakes didn't really do that, and certainly the ones today don't really do that. So that's kind of impressive, really. And then, again, I rewatched the end of the first season of Dexter. Oddly enough, before, I was sure we were watching this week's movie.

So, yeah, I just needed a fix in general. But it's ironic because it will definitely come to tie in later. So that's pretty much all I've done since the last time out. I guess that's me. Sure.

I got to watch Darkon, a documentary about live-action fantasy role-playing. Oh, wow. We saw that on Netflix. Netflix, that's where I watched mine. We didn't watch it.

It's about guys in Baltimore that most of them have no life, obviously. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it follows, I guess, like nine months or a year in this life of guys that partake on the weekends and put on their armor. And the system is neat. I'm interested in the system of how they've set it up and the politics of how they run it.

That's kind of fun to see. But the best part of the movie, there's... not one of the main characters or guys they're following. They go off to the side during one of the events and he's complaining and lamenting about how this was supposed to be their escape from reality of, you know, the tough guys beating up on the geeks and the little guys and now they just turn on, you know, it's a collection of geeks and they turn on themselves. You know, it's all a power play. It's all who's cooler than the other guy so you've got the uncool pushing down the even more uncool and so it's that you try to escape from it and you can't.

It's human nature, really. It's human nature. Even in the lesser, as you scroll down the scale, even at the less cool people, you still fall into that same little trap. Yeah, and you can definitely see how there's the one guy who, he's definitely got it all put together, the leader of the strongest, the guys that are considered the evil faction. He's charismatic and well-spoken and a good leader.

And nobody likes him because of that. And in the real world, he's just your average geek. But in here, he's, you know, this warlord. So that's fun to watch. This sounds reminiscent of the King of Kong.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Total dorks, but yet it's this good versus evil. There's a hierarchy. Oh, yeah.

They're like, in their world, they're like gods. And then you realize, oh, he's just a dork with a job. And then the rest of his life, you know. Right, right. Yeah, it's very much like that.

And it's, I don't know, I'm fascinated by that, and it also makes me feel better about myself. So, yeah, that's kind of why I watch that kind of stuff. Those all kind of do that. So, yeah. As far as real movies, I try to shy away from actors like Al Pacino, but I did finally end up watching Insomnia.

Yeah. I've heard a pretty decent thing. Yeah, very well put together movie. A good movie to watch. Robin Williams is fantastic in it.

He only has a few scenes in the movie. And every one that he's in, he out-acts Al Pacino. Both of those have a tendency to chew up some scenery on occasion, so that could be trouble. But again, especially Robin Williams. He's so good.

If you give him the chance... and he doesn't go off on one of his goofy little Robin Williams things, he's a hell of an actor. Yeah, he is very much in control and being controlled in the film, both by the character and by, I guess, himself, or I guess the director. But, yeah, it's really well done. It's set in Alaska. That's where the insomnia comes in.

It's during the summer, and it's light all the time. If you watch it from that perspective, you can see how light and plays a part, a character almost, in the film. So it's a good watch. Again, I don't normally like to watch Al Pacino. He kind of overacts, is the word you want to use.

I mean, old Al Pacino is a very different animal. You know, 70s Al Pacino is pretty awesome, and he actually delivers real performances. By, like, 90s Al Pacino, he's realized the caricature that is Al Pacino, and he just brings that to work. It's like he doesn't do anything that's not... what you've seen in the last five movies. Yeah, I agree.

And then the other decent film that I saw was Children of Men. I finally got around to seeing that. I've not seen it yet. I've been putting it off for so long. Which one's that one?

Is that the Julianne Moore? Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to see that one. I never get a chance to see it. Yeah, it's a good movie.

Michael Caine is fantastic in it. He's got a small part. It was adapted from a book, so you've got that. You can almost feel that, oh, this is adapted. But it's still a good movie.

It's good to go into it and think. Michael Caine actually gives almost like a speech in the middle of it, and he talks about the difference between faith and chance, how things occur and and how people act and react to the world around them. And if you watch the movie from that perspective, you can really get some good perspective. I'm not saying it's a great movie. It's a good movie.

It's a really good movie. And there's one piece of camera work that they do a city fighting scene, or there's kind of a military raid going on. And a lot of times that Camera in hand, first person view stuff is... I can't stand. I get sick to my stomach and don't like...

This is extremely well done. It feels like it's all one straight shot. And you really feel like... Even to the points where there's blood splatter coming onto the camera. You really feel sucked into the movie at that point.

And it's really one of those edge of the seats things. It's one of the best... Examples of that I've seen in a long time. The camera work in the movie is fantastic. I know I'm a little behind the times, but yes.

It's a great movie. It's one of those I haven't heard anything bad. Either you love it or you really love it. It's not a cheery movie, but other than that, it's just so well put together. Again, I've just been putting it off, too.

Yeah, it's definitely worth a watch. I think that's it. It's been a long time since we've done this show, but we didn't watch that much stuff to begin with. We have, we just haven't kept track of. All of it.

No, I made a list. I made a list. We watched Altitude, which you were a big fan of. Yeah, I hated that movie. What is that one?

It's about a pair of teenagers. Yeah, they're probably college age. Anyways, they're flying off to go to a concert that she didn't that she was flying she told her dad she was driving because apparently her mom died in. A plane crash her mom was a a plane instructor I think or something like that I don't know what was it no she did plane tours. Whatever mama died in a plane mama died.

In a plane I don't understand the whole thing it's just stupid and then they were in a plane and then weird stuff started happening. I understand the movie it was a big loop it was desperately trying to be a Twilight Zone episode or a Lynch film And it just kind of sucked. It might have worked well as a half an hour Twilight Zone episode. If they'd left the end part off. If the end part was stupid.

Or a Lynch movie if Lynch had actually done it. It had some of the most obnoxious characters I've ever seen in a movie. Characters that couldn't die fast enough. Oh my god. Characters that I wanted to crawl into the movie and kill myself.

Because they were horrible. The jock guy. He is like the perfect jock guy because you hate this guy with a furious passion for all the jerks, jock guys that you've ever met. Because he is all of them. Yeah.

Roll into a ball and put in this movie. Yes. Yeah, he is. He does everything possible to just... Make you hate him?

Yeah. Screw people over and just be a general ass. Yeah. I don't even know why these people hang out with this guy. It doesn't make any sense.

You know, they always do that in those films. You gotta have you know, the group that goes off, and then there's the jock, and we got the computer nerd, and we got all people in reality that don't hang out. Yep. And the black guy, and the Asian kid, and I'm just like, what the hell? And I was like, people.

Don't do that. Jessica Lounds, who I don't know, so I'm probably saying her name wrong, but I'm sorry Chick has the ugliest cry face I have ever seen. Yeah, it's pretty bad. You need to start ranking your ugly cry faces, because it's become a go-to, you know, it's. Pretty bad she starts crying and Misty's like oh my god.

Please so start keeping track we want a list going she's generally. A somewhat attractive person she looks like a Megan Fox rip off of. Normal thumbs. That's saying something I. Don't know but other than that she has this cry face and I'm just like.

Ugh twisted contorted face that's just ah. Yeah no don't make that face ever honey yeah okay what else did we watch I made you watch Doctor Strangelove because you had never. Seen it yeah I liked it. It was good. Had its moments.

Had its moments, yeah. It was really good. Strangely enough, my dad. Wants to see this, which he had sent me a list of movies he wanted me to find for him, and this was one of them, and I don't think he really knows what it is. I think he just knows it has to do with some military stuff.

Yeah, but it's pretty different than most military movies. It's pretty different, yeah. You think? Yeah. Well, it's one of those, I mean, not only is it kind of, its own weird little story, but on top of that, it's also got this weird sense of humor that if you don't get it, you just don't get it, like, flat out.

So, yeah, I'm not sure how he will take to that. No, who knows? He'll probably fall asleep during the opening credits, which is what he usually does. That's my plan, too. I come back and finish eventually.

Have you ever watched the end of Wrong Turn? I haven't gotten that far yet, but I got through Blob today. Third time's a charm. No, that's not true. How many times have you tried to watch Wrong Turn?

I was saying that one. Oh, okay. I don't know about, I'm not saying in general. Believe me, there are some that's taken like five or six. Times, so.

Also, we watched Nine, the, not the Strange Musical. Not the, oh, I forgot. Oh, Nine. I forgot I mentioned that to you a couple weeks ago. I watched, yeah, I watched the, well, I tried to watch the musical.

Oh, my God. It's exhausting. You can definitely see the Tim Burton-esque influence. I think he produced it. I don't think anything to do with like, director-wise.

I love that movie. That movie's a great movie. My kid loves that movie. She was like, I told her we were going to watch Nine. She's like, oh, I love that movie.

That's my favorite movie. And then we watched it without her. I was like, really? Wow, it's kind of dark for a kid's movie. She does dark stuff, though, doesn't she?

She does, yeah. So you have PG-13, so it's not necessarily like a kid's movie, because there's scenes in there where you're just. Like, wow, They're kind of violent. There's no blood or gore. There's no blood or gore but just the things that happen to these little puppets or whatever they are.

More disturbing than violent. Yeah, it's just really disturbing. Like one point you pointed out is there's a point where they use one of their friends. They use his unanimated corpse as kind of like a puppet. A decoy.

As a decoy to draw them in. Oh, no, it's so-and-so, you know, and then this thing comes out and tries to get them. This evil thing with, like, a half skull head, and it's so creepy. Yeah, I mean, for little kids, you're watching these little puppets get their souls sucked out. Of them, you know.

Yeah, I saw that in the theaters. It was pretty. Kind of disturbing, but my kid's like, yeah, it's the greatest part. Your kid's weird. We also watched a Oh, I watched one by myself, I wouldn't talk about it.

Okay, you did. I watched Tales from the Dead, which was a Japanese, like, movie, it's a horror anthology, so it has, like, all these different stories inside of it. It's about this girl who talks to ghosts, and she tells this, because she picks up this woman who's hitchhiking, and she tells her all these stories about, because she says, I talk to ghosts, and she's like, yeah, alright, whatever. So she starts telling her all these stories. Like Ghost Whisperer?

I don't know. Without the rack? Without the humongous shelf of top house? That's the star of that show. Cool.

But anyways, it was okay. That's all I have to say about that movie. I just wanted to go ahead and get into it. There's a twist at the end. Talk to dead people.

It's a very good Japanese movie. Is she dead? Like in the sixth sense? You're ruining it. The lady telling the story isn't dead.

The lady should be dead. Well, she's going to be dead by the end of the movie. Everybody will be dead eventually so that's not even a spoiler everybody will die everybody will be dead eventually we'll all be dead who else is. Gonna nobody's gonna watch that movie. You never know it's on netflix hardcore you know.

And then we watched um scott pilgrim versus the. World yeah i like that movie I like parts of that movie. You just didn't like... What's his name? I don't like the main character.

I don't like Michael Cera. I don't like his face. I don't like his hair. I don't like the. Way he acts.

I've kind of gotten to that point. The main characters of most of these movies now have become... even more outcast-looking, geekier, let's-dig-up-whoever-is-under-mom's-base. We've gotten to the point. Where it's unrealistic. No chick that's that hot is going to fall in love with this douchebag.

He is not attractive. I'm superficial. I wouldn't fall in love with that guy. I don't know. That's the problem.

I see a lot of girls who really should not be with these guys. Yeah. There's just judgment issues there. I don't get it. Zoe Deschanel.

Look who she is. Really? What's that about? Some guy. The guy from Death Cab for Cutie.

She's way cute, though. Yeah, we watched Scott Pilgrim. But I don't know much about the comic book or anything, so I don't know if it took heavily from the comic book. I don't, but I like it a lot. I think it's pretty close.

It doesn't have all the game references, like. All the Nintendo references. Again, I haven't read it, but for one of them I've heard, yeah, they kind of stuck pretty close to the idea. Either way, even if you didn't see the, or if you didn't read the comic book, if you're like a Nintendo geek or something like that, which most kids are aged, generally grew up in that era. All the little Zelda music and the Super Mario music and little things that pop in and out are pretty funny.

It was definitely a fun movie. Yeah, it was a fun movie. It's one of those that is very culturally bound. If you show this to somebody who's 50, they're not going to have a clue. Even if they get it, you can follow the story, I'm sure, but you just don't tap into that.

It just doesn't click with anybody who grew up in the video game world you know it's a very different mentality at this. Point i liked it i hate what's his face too jason schwartzman. Jason schwartzman he's always kind of a jerk yeah he plays a jerk really well. Yeah he plays a really good jerk but yeah yeah i just i don't like michael cedar and i don't like and i was like i would love this movie. If they had somebody else in the main character i just don't like.

Him there was a time when he was alright when he was George Michael but you know I. Loved him on the rest of the movie I know. I don't like he's not. A leading man he's like your side dorky character he's like your brother character I don't want him as. A leading man unfortunately he's got a slew of leading man roles I.

Was cursing people who did this movie I also had that one I had Brandon Routh. In it who I hate can't get on board with him either I. Hate that guy he was the guy who was the new Superman. Oh, yeah. It's pretty much his only claim to fame.

He's been in other stuff, but that's the only thing people reference. But who else? Your favorite buddies in this movie, too. He's one of the vegan cops. Oh, yeah.

I was watching it, and I was like, hey, is that Thomas Jane? Would he be a cop in this movie? He was in it for like five seconds. I'm like, is that Thomas Jane? I'm like, no, he wouldn't have done that.

Yeah. It was Thomas Jane. He was a vegan cop. He was a vegan cop. He came to bust it, yeah.

The vegan guy. The vegan guy who was Brandon Howell. I'm not sure I'm slaughtering his name but whatever and we watched we watched Suck which did it had such good potential to be at least a fun movie it had it's. Moments but mostly no it. Didn't well I can see how a certain group of people would really get behind this movie and be really all about it but I'm just not one of those people it's a vampire movie Is.

It like rock and roll vampires or something? Yeah, it's kind of like this rock band and they're trying to make it big and then this weird looking head vampire that looks exactly like Johnny Depp. From Alice in Wonderland comes out. The hair and everything. Ginger vampires are not scary in that way.

Anyways, he bites the bass player of this chick in the band. It would have been. Hot except for her big old bunny dentures. But she turns into a vampire, and then their band starts getting popular. Of course, she's hot.

And all the antics, you know, there's shenanigans abound. They're on the road, and she's eating people at different road stops, and they're trying to cover it up. Hugo. I like Hugo. Yeah, they eventually, most all the band members become vampires.

Vampires. Except for Hugo. Except for the roadie, who wants to be a vampire more than anything else. It's got a lot of different musicians that pop into it. Iggy Pop.

Henry Rollins. Henry Rollins. Iggy Pop is a vampire. I'm pretty sure. He actually wasn't.

Alice Cooper was the vampire. Yeah, see? He seems about right to. There might be a guitar player from Rush. Rush?

Alice Cooper's daughter was in it. So, I mean. It was a stomachable movie, but. As far as like. As we were watching, I'm like, is this a movie or is this just a music video compilation?

So far, everything sounds great. It's a music video compilation. It's on Netflix. Well, I don't think it is. I'm just not into it.

That's just me. That doesn't mean that it's necessarily a horrible movie. I just don't like it. I understand having a movie that has. If you're having a movie that involves a.

Band having songs in it, but you don't need to have the entire song played. That gets old. Yeah. Especially just really bad songs. So let me ask, was there only one girl in the band?

Yes. Damn it. Every time. And she was a bass player. Why does it always follow suit, though?

It's like, there's girls, and they're only in bands with one. Now, granted, there's girl groups and they play whatever, but if you only have one girl in your group, why are they always the bass player? I don't know. Is it like they're more prone to play bass? In Scott Pilgrim, the drummer was a chick.

Okay, thank you. Finally, let's break that mold, because it wasn't even like a movie mold, like in the real world. I was like, why do only girls... play bass players? Why are they only bass players in bands with one girl? Karen Black Flag, she's a bass player.

The chick from Rob Zombie. Kim Deal. She's a bass player. All of them. The chick from Smashing Pumpkins.

Lenny Kravitz, his drummer's a chick. His drummer's a chick. There you go. What was the other one? Sonic Youth.

Sonic Youth, yeah. Jeanette Napolito. I don't know if. That's considered an easy number. So, I don't know.

It's just a weird thing that I just, over the years, I keep seeing this. And I was like, really? Can girls only play bass? Because I'm pretty sure they can play whatever the hell they want. Is, like, mom shoving a bass down their throat?

Because that seems like an odd choice, too. Well, you have, what's her name, too? The chick, Oriente. She was going to play for Michael Jackson's band. She played guitar, lead guitar.

Why? Yeah. Well, now she doesn't need a band. She can just be her own. But she started off with me in a band when.

She was a little chick. And she's hard. I'll tell you this. Please, girls, pick up other instruments. I'm just telling you.

They are. They just form girl bands. Yeah, they do. I'm sure most guy bands don't want... They're either the lead singer or they're the bass player.

Because I think most guy bands, the guy wants to be the guitar player. Screw that. Nobody wants to be the drummer. Nobody wants to be the drummer. No, usually it's nobody wants to be the bass player.

So maybe that's why it gets shoved off on girls. Well, you can play bass, but that's it. Usually the bass player is the one that gets screwed over. Nobody likes the bass player. Occasionally somebody might like the drummer, but yeah, the bass player always gets screwed.

That's all we watched, I think. That's it. Aside from going back and watching Big Trouble in Little China. Because yesterday was our anniversary, and it was the first movie. We watched together.

That was my litmus test for her, was if she could sit through Big Trouble in Little China and like it, then you were the one for me. You know you're on the right road at that point. I remember after we saw it, she was like, this is like the coolest movie ever! And I was like, yes! He's been slick with me ever since.

I forgot I watched American. Gothic, too. I've been watching that. I haven't finished the last disc yet. so I probably should have waited until I finished it but I love American Gothic yeah it's a. TV show from like 95 with Gary Cole playing I guess he's like an evil guy I haven't really said exactly what he.

Is but he is just all sorts of evil he is he's. Chock full of evil I think he wears all this evil on. His hair though he. Has this weird like moody. Thing there's a lot going on in that show I just can't stand that kid yeah you.

Can't stand him because he talks to them They're from, like. Where are they, from Alabama or something? I don't know where they are. I'm going to get myself thrown on it. Oh, my good God.

What you talking about? What you talking about? Why is he the only one that talks like that? Nobody else in the movie talks like that. His sister talks like that, too.

His dead sister talks like that. But that's his voice. That's his voice in his head. She's talking like that. Because it's his own thoughts.

Before the evil sheriff killed her, she talked like that. Oh, jeez. Whatever. How come nobody else in the town talks like that, though? No, I don't live there.

Maybe that's the problem with the show. Maybe they're telling you something. Maybe that is. I don't know. Well, because the little boy could be evil, too, so they're letting you know.

You talk funny, you're going. To be evil. You talk funny, you're going to die. Good times. It had an episode that had Bruce Campbell and you got eaten by bugs.

Spoiler alert. If it was made in 95, you're not spoiling it. Yeah. Anything with Bruce, you're alright. It'll be fun regardless.

And it's Produced by Sam Raimi and Sean Cassidy, so figure that one out. Yeah, there's an odd combination. How do Sam Raimi and Sean Cassidy get together? Yeah, what... Maybe Sam was, like, a fan of the Sean Cassidy fan club.

I think it could happen. So, of course, with Sam Raimi, of course, he's going to have Ted Raimi in at. Least an episode. It has to. It's in his contract.

All right, good times. I'm done. Your turn, Molly. Okay, um, well... I've been reading a lot lately because I can't.

That's not allowed. This is not a reading podcast. Are there pictures involved? No. No, I've been reading a lot of Graham Green, which is like spy stuff, which is weird.

I don't know if any of this stuff has been made into movies, but I think it would be like good movies. It's not recent or anything, but. If it doesn't have Jason Bourne in it, don't waste our time. I don't know. Exactly.

But, no, I don't have any internet. And I have a new TV and a new VCR, but I don't know how to work it. Does it flash 12 all day long? I can't get the sound to work. I tried to watch One Hour Photo the other day, and it was like, it played just fine, and it looked just fine, but there was no sound.

Maybe you should just stick to silent movies. You don't have to worry about the subtitles. All movies are signed, but they don't have subtitles. But then you have to bring in an orchestra to actually get the real... Silent movie meltdown.

Silent movie meltdown. Coming at you, the new offshoot show. Two hours of nothing. Nosferatu. It's just a streaming line.

You don't hear anything. Yeah, but people like to watch our streaming. That's what we found. Watch our show. Did I say that?

Yeah, someone who wasn't watching it, I can say it because she's not watching this. It might have been Misty, wasn't it? I don't even remember now. I just remember a huge tangent. It stemmed from you said something about, yeah, I think it was.

You said, well, Misty's not watching this anyway. Like, well, nobody's watching it. I have no idea. We talk about you all the time. You talk a shit about me.

We usually do. I have no idea. That's why you're supposed to be here. It's only good things. Only good shit I really don't even have I have no idea.

She's like damn it now I've got to listen to the show. I'll never listen to the show there's the plug we're. Looking for we melt down even we don't listen. Oh god I've been to the theater a couple of times lately just because I don't. Have to pay for it.

I need to find out that deal. I'm missing out on that one. Like the theater was like a fancy art theater? No, just like theater. Theater.

Theater. In a fancy dress with George Takei. That would be awesome. George Takei in a fancy dress. Either way, whatever.

He was wearing a casino in my dream. Shut up. Okay. So, I don't know if I'd seen Tron the last time we did the podcast. I don't think so.

I don't think so. Yeah, I saw Tron. I fell asleep. That sounds about right from what I hear. It wasn't really good.

I wasn't even impressed with the 3D, and it was only my second 3D movie, but I wasn't really that impressed with it. I was just kind of like, well, I have these glasses, so all these people that I'm here with aren't going to notice that I'm asleep. It's a strategy. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen the 3D aspect.

All I've seen is the commercials, but to me it's still, it's like, the it's like they haven't really made any jump in special effects like it looks like it did in the 80s and i'm just like really i mean it should be a little better now i mean it still looks pretty cool which i you know i guess i like the idea of them sticking with the world they're in but i don't know it looks like it should be better than it is yeah no really we've. Made tons of advances in computers since the 80s you would think it would be a little bit nicer. You would think look. At the graphics um computer animated jeff bridges freaked me the fuck. Out i've heard it's kind of gross.

And creepy and i was like oh god i don't ever. Want to see him like that ever just old and cranky like he is in all the movies. Now but um but all the girls in the movie were really pretty olivia wild. Is gorgeous yeah i keep seeing her on stuff computer. Animated chicks geeks aren't gonna put ugly chicks in their computer yeah Yeah.

I remember weird science. Yeah, really. Make them bigger. And, yeah, Tron. If you're really into, like, the old Tron or the video game or whatever, I'm sure you would love it, but I'm not.

I've never seen the first Tron. Nobody can now because they won't put it out. Right. They're working on a special. That was the worst timing ever.

It's not available right now. And, like, everybody was trying to find... It was, at least, on DVD. Everybody was trying to find copies of it, so they were, like, a hundred and some odd dollars on, like, eBay and Amazon and stuff. So, yeah, people are, like, fighting to get it.

I'm like, Disney, are you stupid? Why not, you know, put these little deals together? So, like, next year, they're going to work on a special edition version. Problem is, is when people watch it, they'll remember that it wasn't that good. Yeah, that might have been.

That's what they're hiding. Yeah. It's not that good. That might have been the strategy. Pulling off the shelf.

Yeah. The video game was awesome. Yeah. With the control stick and everything. I remember playing at the arcade, but other.

Than that, Tron sucks. Well, the disc one was really cool, too. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. Maybe that was their strategy, is hide it from people.

Their memory is those cool flashy lights, and we still have that in this one, so. And I also saw The King's Speech, which was really good, even though it's just about, that's what it's about. It's about The King's Speech. Um like the way he speaks or like he has a stammering problem that's what the whole is what the whole movie's. About but i mean.

But it's still really good and not as boring as it should be i mean like nothing exciting happened. Really but that's a big deal i mean not only is he the king of the country but this was at that point where they start moving into radio yeah and broadcasting to the people and everything depends on you being able to not only lead your country, but let them have faith in you. You have to be strong and be an impressive leader, and if you're up there stuttering the whole time. It was a really good movie, but just think about it. That's a huge stretch to have a two-hour-long movie.

On the premise of, like... A speech impediment. A speech impediment. That's why you get fancy actors who are actually really good actors. I know.

Yeah, Geoffrey Rush was amazing. That's what everyone is. Geoffrey Rush is always amazing. Kind of. Even in crappy movies.

Oh, yeah. I mean. Even in fucking pirates. I forgive him for showing his naked, disgusting ass in Quills. It was hot.

No. And I do kind of... I'm strangely attracted to Geoffrey Rush. I don't know what it is. It doesn't surprise me.

It's just... Yeah, it's just me. As long as he keeps his clothes on. As long as he keeps his clothes on. You're on your own on that one.

You're hot if I don't have to look at you. Yeah. Would you like to be on the podcast? And Colin Firth was amazing. Helena Bonham Carter was even good, even though her hair really pissed me off the whole time.

She's a homewrecker. But I've heard, it is one of those people who are like, oh yeah, I forgot she can actually act when she's not in goofy-ass Tim Burton. She's even a monkey. Yeah. She looked better as a monkey.

I can't argue that, actually. They do make fun of her for being fat in the movie which i thought was bonus homewrecker um yeah it was really good um even though like i said i kind of feel like they did an excellent job considering the premise of the movie is like a fucking speech impediment which is like you know they have movies. About like whole wars that aren't half as interesting and i'm just like i don't I don't understand. That's impressive. Good job.

Yeah, very impressive. I watched Easy A, which was a huge letdown. I like that girl. It looked fun. It looks like it would be hilarious.

It's all the good stuff in the trailer. Yes. The premise of the movie is that she is telling her slutty big boob friend, who's actually not slutty at all, that she slept with a guy just because Her friend wouldn't leave her alone. And Amanda, Amanda, Amanda is in the bathroom and overhears it. And is like, oh, my God, you dirty skank.

And tells the whole school that she had sex with this one guy. All of a sudden, everybody cares. And they're like, oh, Tramp. Oh, damn, girl, Tramp. Okay, seriously.

Like, I don't think there was a single virgin in my high school. We had a daycare. for people who had children. In your grade school. In my grade school. In your preschool.

It was just, like, a hard thing to swallow. Like, nobody cares if, like, a 17-year-old girl has sex with some community college guy. Like, it's not the talk of the school. Like, maybe if she had, like, an orgy with, like. A group of community college guys.

She might be the talk of the school, but other than that, I mean, like, that's just not the world that we live in. Yeah, this plot would have worked in, like, 1980. No. Maybe. Maybe 1950.

No, but I mean, there was still that. It was still, like, a big deal at that point. And that's kind of what they were doing. It was trying to be, like... She referenced John Hughes movies a lot.

Yeah. It was trying to be, like, a cheesy 80s movie, and it just wasn't. I mean... No. Sometimes you're just too self-aware of these things.

Yeah, and the thing that really bothers me that I used to think was, like, cute and clever, like, in the movie Juno, the way she talked and she was, like, super witty, you know, like, Gilmore Girls, the way, like, their witty banter and their sarcasm and their humor, it's tired now. Like, people don't really. It's forced. People don't really talk like that. And it's just overdone.

I mean, it was original the first several projects, but now that we've had 12 years of, you know, so many different people doing this, that It's over the top. Yeah, and it's just, like, I. Don't... Are you implying that our banter isn't witty at all? No, our banter is great.

That makes it okay. Our banter is totally witty, and, you know, I'm not, like, the most, like, clever, like, I'm not a wordsmith by any means, but, like, you know, it's just, like, it's funny in real life, in movies, when it's fake and it's forced, and it's just, like, you're like using big words and people are like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, it's not funny when you're like. Over Dawson's Creek. Yeah.

They, they talked in fully formed thoughts. Yeah. That's, that's just Kevin Williamson. I mean, that's just the way everything he wrote. If you look at anything, it's just like, wow.

Yep. That's one of his screenplays. So yeah, it's, it's like conversations. If you had an hour to think about what your reply would have been. Yeah.

That's what that kind of, that's what I. Should have said. It's like an entire screenplay of that's what I should have said. Yeah. Yeah i hate that i mean kids high school kids are you suck that's what the come that's what the comeback is so pretty much.

Yeah but it was just like trying really hard to be witty stanley tucci was in it and i love stanley tucci but he was like even him i'm just like shut the fuck up god oh yeah um yeah but it was a huge letdown that's that's all i'm gonna say about that movie. Uh I hope she turns up in better stuff. Yeah. Because she's very likable and seems like she could carry a. Movie, so.

Are you talking about In the Stone? In the Stone, yeah. She's going to be in the new Spider-Man movie. She's like the new Gwen or whatever the. As long as she's not on the Broadway play, because she'll be dead.

She bleached her hair off. She's blonde now. She's like Gwen. What was the chick's name in Spider-Man when he was in high school? Well, it's not.

It's not Mary Jane. No. Because they got rid of Mary Jane. But it's like in high school. Her name was Gwen something, maybe?

Gwen Stacy. Yeah, that's who it is. I might be making that up. I don't know. I don't care.

Whatever. If it's wrong, I'm blaming it on you. And people will call us out. Go for it. We're not really discussing that specific story.

We're just referencing it. Those are the only movies I can remember watching, but I have been watching... I finished watching The Mighty Boosh, which is awesome. Awesome. It's another one I hear really good things about.

And, uh. There's some moments. I've just been watching, like, way too much British television lately. So, no, some of it is fucking hilarious. I always thought, you know, like.

I like British television. Yeah. I'm very hit and miss on British television. Aside from S Club 7, British television. I mean, I think of British television.

I think of, like, Father Ted and, like, Smarple and stuff like that. But, like. No, Mighty Boosh is fucking hilarious. Spaced with Simon Pegg. Spaced is awesome.

Amazing. Spaced is actually pretty damn entertaining. There's another one. It's called Nate Barley, I think. It has the same people from Mighty Boosh in it.

The IT crowd. Yeah, so that was the other one I was just about. I was like, Space and the IT crowd are both, like, above and beyond what normal, like, British programming is. They're just really clever. And it's the same group of actors, all of them.

It's really weird. I'm just like, so are there only, like, ten actors in England? Or are they just, like. Just the funny ones. Just the really funny ones.

Well, there's a show that used to come on PBS. I don't know if it's still on or not, but Mom and Dad watched it all the time. I can't remember the name of it. But it kind of centers around these, I don't know if it's four or five old guys that live in this village, and it's just about them constantly getting into just mischief. They're just like they were when they were kids.

They all grew up in the same village, but now they're all old, like 70s and 80-year-old men, and they're still getting in trouble. They all gather kind of around the same place. I can't think of the name of it. I know the guy who did the voice for. Wallace from Wallace and Gromit is one of the actors but I cannot remember the name of the movie or I mean remember the name of.

The TV show somebody probably knows what it is. Out there I just can't remember someone in media. Land yeah or England England. But but it's. I've, it's made me say things funny, just like watching British television.

Are you going to do Madonna? But I've been saying like, like British people say, do a shit. I'm going to do a shit. Maybe, maybe you shouldn't say that out loud to people. Um, and, uh, and another thing that I've started saying or that I've realized, which is funny, uh, You say well in front of things.

Like, that's well good. Or like, that's well delicious. That's well bloody crazy. It's a bunch of parp. There you go.

I don't get enough parp in my conversations. I'll tell you now. Shut your gob. Yeah. Oh, and I've also been playing video games, too.

I beat God of War. Which one? Three. Three? In two days.

Cool. I could have done it in one day. I'm still on God of War 1 and 2. But, I mean, I don't ever play video games. I don't ever play video games, so I was very proud of myself.

I'm like, I beat this game, yeah. And I started playing Bioshock yesterday, and I'm terrible at it. It is awesome. Yeah, I'm playing Bioshock. It is really awesome, but I'm terrible.

Like the sweeping camera view, I'm just like, I can't do it. It's too much to process. And it is, and I even have like a... co-pilot, I guess, like someone who's like, no, turn left, turn left, left, left. The other left. I'm like, I can't do it when you're yelling at me.

I can only play some of those games before they start making me sick, because I'm playing, what is that, I played a couple, I played like two hours of Gears of War 2 the other night, and then turned it off and just felt. Like I was going to have to puke. You can't watch me play Naughty Bear, because It makes me sick. Not because I'm going around killing other bears. I suck at that game, by the way.

Oh, the bear-on-bear violence. I can't watch it. It's unbearable. You lose points for that. Bonus pun points.

What? We don't give those out? Yeah. But, yeah, so I'm terrible at Bioshock. That's okay.

I've learned this weekend there's lots of things I can't do, like curl my hair with a flat iron and play Bioshock. Once again, maybe you shouldn't do that. This sounds like a fire about to break out. Marlene is the person on the hair dryer that actually has the warning, do not use while asleep on the. The little stick figure drawing of her.

Yeah, that's her. Those are two independent functions that I do independently from each other. It was just I grouped them in the same thing because they're two things I learned I cannot do, not necessarily do at the same time. Of course I can't do them at the same time. I can't do them one at a time, let alone together.

So that's what I was implying by that. Thank you. I've also seen that drawing of you dunking a baby in a five-gallon bucket. Please stop doing that. Oh, and another thing I've started saying because of Howard Moon, damn it, on Mighty Boosh.

Like, I'll say an insult, or I'll be like, I'll say sir after it. Like, yes sir, thank you sir. Someone will insult him, and he's like, thank you sir. I call my boyfriend sir all the time. I do.

One of my friends was like, where do I pick up a girl like that? I don't know. The internet. The internet, yeah. Troll the internet.

Is your friend handsome? Because, no, I'm just kidding. Online, I think I used my dear the other day. My dear? You look lovely, my dear.

Who'd you say that to? One of our listeners, actually. I don't know if it's John. He's married. Sorry, I don't have any single friends.

Except for Richie. I'm just kidding. No, I'm good. You might be too young for Richie. I'm not a lady of the 80s. maybe once I learn to curl my hair with.

A flat iron while playing video games but only like but only Donkey Kong you can't play these new Bioshock. Bullshit it's gotta be complete TV. There you go Qbert. I love Qbert make. A Qbert game they should make a Qbert movie the movie yikes Oh.

I have one more thing to say about Suck, because I forgot earlier. It had Malcolm McDowell in it. It played a character called Eddie Van Helsing. That was all I got with that one. I just remembered how stupid that was.

Oh, oh, that's the thing about Easy A the cast it had fucking Malcolm McDowell Thomas Hayden Church and Lisa Kudrow and Stanley Tucci and like a bunch of people is Lisa. Kudrow 60 she is people always tell me I look like Lisa Kudrow you have her face shape you do I mean you don't really look exactly like her but you have her shape you have the same shape face that. She does I'm pretty sure if you make Malcolm McDowell a sandwich he'll come to your house he's in everything it's fucking amazing every time i see a new sometimes straight to dvd movie i'm just like really he has nothing better to do than being this there you go like wow i can understand some of the big projects he keeps turning up in but he'll be in just random.

Conventions he does. He was there last time because he's busy filming yeah he's busy with six. More movies yeah it is that one i had to work He's been doing them lately, but before that he wasn't, and I guess because he was constantly shooting movies, some of which people don't want to see. He was wearing way too much denim when we saw him. He had a denim shirt and denim pants.

But mostly he was wearing all khaki. It must have been their uniform. You must wear all khaki. You must wear all denim. We lost a bet.

They probably said, no one will care. Where was the guy wearing. All leather and the other guy wearing all tweed? I mean, like. Those were the people out there with us.

It was just random goers of the convention. The guy at the flea market last weekend, he was. Wearing, what was it? He was wearing a denim button-up shirt with denim clover rolls. Yeah, just too much denim.

That's too much denim. Okay, I'm done. All righty. That round out the Geek Week? All right.

We will take a break. What? It's been a while. And it has been a while. That's why we had to get caught up again.

We'll be kidding. We always take this long. We have a lot of dorky shit to talk about. All right. We will take a break.

Give me back with What's the Buzz? When I'm diving in the sunshine, turning up the radio, I wonder back to the day when my. Baby ran away. He was sex, dreams, and denim jeans. We used to stay up all night playing late till it was bright, but then he found the guitar and our worlds were pulled flat.

He was sweet as night. What is it? Hey, why, it's buttercup. Popcorn and sweet butter, two hot popcorn. Mix it up, wrap it up, buttercup is born.

It's delicious. So nutritious. It's a tasty bite. It's so munchy. Crispy and crunchy.

You'll enjoy each bite. Eat butter, crunched buttercup. Pop one at a time. Served in a king-size cup. Hey, If it had a mind, you could reason with it.

If it had a face, you could look it in the eye. If it had a body, you could shoot it. Now, man is no longer the supreme being on this planet. The organism is growing at a geometric rate. By all accounts, it's at least a thousand times its original mass.

Nobody believes me about what happened tonight. What did happen? I want that organism alive. I think you pissed it off. Blob, terror has no shape.

Well, I love the movies. Welcome to the biggest movie event of the year. We're going to have a great night, ladies and gentlemen. And the Oscar goes to. And the Oscar goes to.

Nick Ledger. Thank you so much. Ladies and. Gentlemen, prepare yourselves. It's time for the third annual Movie Meltdown Oscar Meyer Party.

With all the glitz, glamour, pork products, and vicious commentary you've come to know and love, the Academy Awards will never be the same. Bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good. Coming soon to this feed. Don't miss it.

Oscar Meltdown 3D. It's gonna be artery-clocking good. Make sure you watch Movie Meltdown. This is Ken Foray. It's one of the best internet radio shows that you could ever.

Ever watch. Movie Meltdown. Ken Foray talking, baby. Go Grizzly, bitch. Sometimes the world is black.

And tears run from your eyes. And maybe we'll all get... Really sick. And maybe we'll all die. So let's build a snowman.

We can make him our best friend. We can name him Tom. We can name him Tom. We can make him tall. We can make him not so tall.

Snowman. We'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy. Point of view. Like a mad scientist. You should do like the snowman centipede version.

The snowman centipede. Can I go from that? Yes. Do snowmen have asses? It's the big round.

Yeah, but I mean the anus portion. That's kind of the important part of the centipede. You've got to know where. To attach, I mean. Ready for buzzing.

This is a big deal. It's been a long damn time since we've sat down and did the what's the buzz. Was the last one coming back from Lexington? I I think so. Yeah, I think that's the only time we've done it, period, since Halloween.

And that was a road trip version of it. Some of those movies have been produced by now. Yeah, yeah. That's what's weird, is I will listen back to old ones and hear stuff we were making fun of like a year ago, and now it's in the theaters. I'm like, oh, wow, that's kind of weird.

We've come that long. Full circle, and now the crappy movies are crappy movies we make fun of in the theater. All right, so we can kick it off with The King of the Monsters. Godzilla. Godzilla.

What about Godzilla? Well, last March, Warner Brothers announced plans for a new American version of Godzilla in conjunction with the movie monster's Japanese makers, Toho Company. What? Toho? Yeah.

They make all the Godzillas. Yeah. That's why they're so damn expensive. Yes, they are. That's the thing that pisses me off.

I go to look for Godzilla toys for my kid because she loves the hell out of Godzilla. It's plastic. That's all it is. It's just a piece of plastic. In a cardboard container.

It doesn't make noise. It doesn't shoot fire. It doesn't have batteries. It doesn't do anything. But yet it's $ 21 for a piece of molded plastic.

Scam. It's killing me. It's a scam. Because they're like the only one that can make it. It's like, no.

We have Godzilla toys. You want them? Too bad. Pay money. So, yeah.

This already, as you said, if we've learned nothing from last time out, seems like a bad idea. But. It could be okay if they're on board for it, if it's not the American version just being like, We're going to do it our way because. It's American, damn it. We're going to make our own damn dragons.

Which is what we did. Exactly. Jesus was an American. That's why it sucked. So those go hand in hand, Jesus and Godzilla.

It's just we. Find a way to fuck up anything. That's all I'm saying. We didn't talk about your awesome purchase, did we? We didn't talk about the Ultraman.

It is kind of in line with Godzilla. Okay, okay. I'll say that real quick. Growing up as a kid, my favorite things were Godzilla. Kung Fu Theater, and Ultraman.

I remember some of my earliest memories are Ultraman. Well, when we were at. The flea market, actually, I mentioned last week that we went to the flea market, but I didn't tell anybody about your purchase. Yeah, well, Misty, you and Misty pointed out to me the Ultraman karaoke machine for any Ultimate Ultraman fan. It's pretty fucking impossible to find because we can't even find...

Proof that it exists on the internet. No, but yet somehow I have it. It must be the only one ever in production. It's like the holy grail of Ultraman stuff. And karaoke machines.

And awesome box art. Oh yeah, I know. The people. on the box are having one hell of a fucking good time. That was my selling point. I was like, Jay, you need to get this because those people on the box are having the best time of their damn lives.

Look at them. They were. They're all Japanese. It's all Japanese box and they are singing the hell out of some Ultraman karaoke. Which is funny, because there's no lyrics.

Yeah, I know. The tape that comes with it doesn't have any lyrics. Well, yeah, I guess you do. It's just the soundtrack to Ultraman. Well, did it come with it and maybe they got lost along?

Maybe there's like a lyric sheet that you're supposed to sing along. I don't know. It didn't come with any of that. I guess you've got to put your own tape in there. Or maybe they all know the lyrics by heart.

Possibly. Maybe we're just not hardcore enough over here. Maybe that's the problem. But, yeah, box art, Ultraman, sing into him, his eyes light up. It is awesome.

It's all kinds of awesome. Because of the straps, you can strap it around your neck. Yeah. It would be extra dorky. It's handy karaoke.

Handy karaoke. Nice. Yeah, sorry to interrupt, but that was the. No, no, I was surprised we didn't get to it the last time. It's pretty badass.

Just the box is worth the price that you paid for it. Definitely. And then you've got a cool... If you want to stick a picture of it on the. I was thinking, yeah, maybe that needs to be this little.

Yeah, it's pretty damn cool. Yeah, we'll put it on there and show you guys how awesome it is. and ridiculous oh yeah so which by the way was wasn't that just a knockoff ultraman in that movie which one the uh megalom or yeah was that jaguar um i don't know or was he from the toho world but it was like. Their version of from jet jaguar was actually a robot that these two guys built to kind of To kind of battle some of the monsters. So, in a way, yeah, but in a way, no, because he was a robot. He wasn't an actual person. that had powers.

Because, you know, same thing with you. I watched all that same stuff as a kid because we were watching on the same channel. And, yeah, to me, the lines were blurred. It was like, Ultraman was hanging out with Godzilla. Yeah, you didn't know.

You were a kid. You were like, wow, it's Ultraman! And they were like, no, it's not Ultraman. It's a totally different. Whatever, it looks like Ultraman to me.

Fuck it. Yeah, yeah. This is awesome! It's Ultraman! No, it's just.

For all practical purposes, yes, it's Ultraman. Okay, whatever. It's fun. Who cares? So...

Yeah, that was the tie-in for me. I was like, yeah, Ultraman fighting with Godzilla. The ultimate tag team. Which they become in that movie. Pretty much.

Once it became a monster movie and just became pro wrestling with silly costumes. Exactly. Which is what they became. Which is funny because I don't like pro wrestling nowadays. Especially when it's on.

The sci-fi channel. See, now if they were wearing big, huge dinosaur costumes... That would be cool. That'd be pretty fun, actually. And have little sets of towns that they were landing on.

That would be awesome. Little explosions. Impaling themselves on skyscrapers. Airplanes on the microfilm wire that are flying around and stuff. And Mothra could fly in.

I never got a reply to my angry letter to Sci-Fi. Do you want to have a segue here and go into that story, too? I'm so pissed. You do not have a two-day marathon of Twilight Zone and then throw in two hours of wrestling. It is not an all-day Twilight Zone marathon.

If you have two hours of WWE wrestling right in the middle of it. That is retarded. That's wrestling. Yeah, let's get it straight. That's wrestling.

That's wrestling to you peoples. First of all, it shouldn't be on the Sci-Fi Channel in the first place. No, it shouldn't. Second of all, Sci-Fi is spelled S-C-I-F-I. You cannot spell it S-Y-F-I.

That's fucking retarded. I believe we've covered that. I told the Sci-Fi Channel this and I got no reply. In an angry, angry email. You don't interrupt my four-legged zone marathon.

You don't say all-day marathon. And you're going to put wrestling in. The middle of it. That's just stupid. I agree.

I was ready to back you up with another email. My email, too. There you go. Yeah, I did. Also, what did you say?

Did you say bad words? Yeah. So, hey, let's get the whole movement going. If you guys listening think it's stupid to put wrestling... First of all, on the Sci-Fi Channel.

Second of all, in the middle of an all-day Twilight Zone marathon. I was making it not an all-day Twilight Zone marathon. Is there a fucking wrestling channel? Yeah, there should be, because I don't have to watch it, so then I can skip over it. Like TNT or something?

So, yeah, if everyone thinks that's stupid, go to their website and send them an angry email and let's get a whole movie. We should make a movie meltdown form letter to send. We'll pass it around to everybody. There's no wrestling on there. There are so many fucking ton shitload ass of fucking television shows that you could put on a sci-fi channel.

Why do you need to run wrestling? It's not like you're like, oh, we need some time to fill because what are we going to put on a sci-fi channel? We don't have any sci-fi movies. You got TV shows. You got Dark Shadows.

There's tons of shit, you know? I mean, you've got, what, all types of stuff. Or they were running, when I was a kid, they were, hell, you could put Ultraman on it. Godzilla. You could put anything.

It's sci-fi, but don't put wrestling. Come on. I think the issue was when they became Siffy, that was at a point when they realized, hey, nobody's watching our channel anymore. But there were people watching the channel. That's why I'm not watching it now.

Think about the hordes of wrestling fans out there. They're like, well, if we can get them to come over here... Again, I think it's stupid, but... What's next? NASCAR?

Yeah, probably. If they can get ratings, if they can get people on board for it, yeah, they probably will. But then why become a sci-fi channel? I don't know. They're sippy now.

That's why they became sippy, because then. Then it's a brand, so it doesn't even mean it has to have anything to do with science fiction. It's SIFI, and that means wrestling, I guess. I don't know. It means wrestling and.

Sci-fi, because, hey, the people that are going to watch our really bad, crappy movies probably aren't that smart, so we'll stick them in with the wrestling crowd. That's kind of what they're saying, actually. I don't watch their bad movies, but I will not watch the freaking wrestling. We don't watch the bad movies for being like, oh, my God, dude, you see what he did with that daggone rock laundry? He shoved it right up that dragon's ass.

That was crazy. Not like that. You're pretty good at that. We see stuff and we're just like, yeah, this movie's going to suck. This movie's terrible.

I love it. I mean, Manskito. Where the hell are you going to get Manskito? Really? That might be a new wrestler.

Maybe they're just trying out the wrestlers in these bad sci-fi movies. Manskito's off the top rope. He's going to do the blood sucker. Oh, he took him out. That would be fun.

Only if he dressed up in the costumes. Right. Which then, then it's just awesome because it's Mexican wrestling. Right. I'll watch Mexican wrestling.

I don't want to watch American horrible wrestling. Ah, so yeah, piss me off. Angry Letters, a sci-fi channel. Yep, get on it, people. And tell them how stupid Safiya is.

Yeah, but you're not going to change their mind on that one. There's no other way around that one. Stupid. So yeah, I was trying to piece the Ultraman in with the Godzilla, but I can't do that with wrestling, so... We just tangented off.

Don't worry about it. We do it all the time. So, yeah, Godzilla. You know it's our show. The.

Again, we learned nothing, obviously, from last time out. But what we realized was that we did the ultimate error there. Not only did we Americanize it, but we gave it to a big, dumb director. We gave it to Emmerich and said, here, make one of your big, dumb movies. And that's exactly what they did.

This time out, it's at least hopeful. They found a director, and it is Gareth Edwards, who is a British director who did the indie, low-budget science fiction movie Monsters. Okay, so he's done some science fiction stuff. He's done... Well, this is...

I mean, that was his feature debut, but, I mean, he did it himself. Like, not only did he direct and, you know, create the movie, he also did the special effects. That's how, like... I mean, he's actually trained at doing special effects and was so... into the idea that, I mean, he did pretty much everything on the movie. Well, that's cool.

I like that. Yeah, you've got to give that guy credit, and that's the kind of person I would want in charge of a new project like Godzilla. Not some guy that's like, Godzilla, who's that again? Yeah, that sounds like somebody who's already invested into Godzilla anyway. It sounds like he's probably a fan.

Or at least, yeah, has a sense of how to make a decent movie and not just like. And they're bringing the toy company in on that too, so that's kind of cool. Yeah, well. At least the original, yeah. If you're going to bring him in, bring somebody that has some sort of relevance to Godzilla in, and at least bounce ideas off of him.

Don't just be like, we're going to make our own damn Godzilla, whether you like it or not. I was thinking of the tie-in last time out. I was like, Taco Bell? Last time, it may. As well have been a...

Jurassic Park movie. The second half of it is. It's like it's Jurassic Park. She doesn't want to have anything to do with the American Godzilla. Nobody does.

She saw the movie on Netflix. She was going through scrolling for Godzilla and she looked at it and she was like, this is a Godzilla movie? And I was like, yeah. And she goes, it doesn't even look like Godzilla. You're right.

And what's Ferris Bueller doing in it? I don't know. I can't answer that, honey. I'm sorry. You're dancing and singing.

He always deals. With a hideous creature at night at home anyway. He was stealing Godzilla's Ferrari. Oh, God. There's just so many problems with that American version last time.

So, again, my initial reaction is, oh, God, don't ever make another one. But... You know, this is a good person to hand it to, I think. And I was kind of wondering what they were going to throw at him next because that one's had weird reviews because it's actually mostly like a relationship-based story. Like, the monsters in this are sort of in the background, which, again, gives him credit for having an actual screenplay.

It's no monster love story. It's not going to show up on the album. Getting it on with other giant monsters. I'd watch that, too, actually. I'm a little off.

I realize that. I once bought my friend this book called Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich. There's this really funny poem at the end of it. It's just a book of poems. There's this really funny poem at the end of it about Godzilla taking.

A poop on a Toyota. Okay. I would recite that poem. And this has been your moment with. That's just a snippet of a Marlena moment.

Oh, God. You don't even want to know all the funny things that have happened to me. You already had a triple feature last time. Mal. What was it?

I don't even remember. Weren't you there last time? No. It's just a constant onslaught of, like, hilarious shit. That is my life.

I can't keep up. I think one of them was the single white female, but with that dude. Yeah, he got the dude dressing like you. Doug, yeah. He actually came in the other day because he'd gotten fired.

Yeah. I think he needed, like, girl talk. And more people humping on you in bars. That was most of what... Actually, you know, like.

No one ever... No one does that. I don't do that to people anymore. Well, in those stories, somebody was humping on somebody. And no one ever comes up to me.

Like, we were dancing the other day, and, like, there's this retarded guy who's, like, dancing with everybody. He looks at me, and he, like, runs. I'm like... Yes! I think I just wear main repellent clothes.

You should start marketing that. I'm not sure how well it would go over. It smells like corndog. Is that what attracted me? Yeah, really, wait a minute.

That's like dork attracted. Oh, God. Look at that. Look at that lot of smells. I don't even know if I'm on board for this.

Alright, so from Godzilla to George Clooney. They're both big and awesome, right? Who needs a Segway? Segway Schmegway. Which one was on the Facts of Life?

Godzilla. Clooney was on Roseanne. Godzilla was on Facts of Life. Let's keep that shit straight. I thought Clooney was on the Facts of Life for a little while.

Sadly he was. Sadly for his career. Oh, but now he's moved on to bigger and better things. So he seemingly splits his time now between Hollywood and Italy. Because his last movie, The American, was set primarily in Italy.

So the latest movie that George Clooney has attached himself to star in will return the actor to Italy as the star of The Monster of Florence. The Fox 2000 movie will be an adaptation of the 2008 non-fiction book The Monster of Florence, co-written by Douglas Preston and Mario Pesci. And if you're Italian and I'm saying that wrong, tough. Preston and Spezzi investigated the gruesome Il Monstro killings in Florence, Italy from 1968 to 1985, which is a pretty long span of killing people. And the process found themselves also being suspects by the Italian police.

So this has kind of got like a Zodiac. Vibe going on. Is Douglas Preston the one who always writes Preston and Child? I don't know. I don't know.

There's no word yet as to who Clooney will be playing, but the most likely role would appear to be that of Douglas Preston himself. If the adaptation follows the book's blending of their investigations with the story of the murders as well. This was one I thought was kind of interesting. That span of time is a huge amount of time for killing of people. I don't know much about the Il Monstro killings, so this sounds like something I would be on board for. at least seen a version of.

I don't know how close they'll get to any real facts, but who cares when it's a movie, right? I don't really care. At this point, I acknowledge that it's going to be wrong factually and I enjoy the movie. I don't know why everybody can't just kind of get on board for that. Well, what I can say about that is at least Clooney, I might not like the subject or, you know, but everything he does is well done.

I mean, at the very least. He's always entertaining no matter what. Yeah, so I'm not Yeah, I mean, if he's going to choose something with a nice storyline like that, or an interesting storyline, it's probably going to be pretty good. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty much everything he does now, even when it's stuff that's not commercially successful. It's like, if you go back and look at him, it's like, it's rare that he's turning in, like, terrible movies, you know?

Even his mediocre ones are better than most of the crap that's coming out now. So, yeah. And scaring goats. I hated that movie. She hated that movie, but I loved him in that movie.

I still like that movie. Again, that's... a more interesting project than most crap that comes out and I've not really heard anybody that liked it but everybody's kind of like well it's. Still worth watching I'll tell you that. Yeah it's like it's still I don't. Have to I know it sucks I've seen snippets of it and I.

Told you it sucked yeah so I don't know it's just one of those yeah he's always involved in pretty good stuff so anything he's attached to at this point it kind of gets a little bump up there for being probably better than anything else Or at least better produced than most stuff coming out now. Right. All right, now we've discussed this movie before, but the new casting allows me to discuss one of our favorite 12-fingered actresses. Jim. Jim Arterton.

Jim Arterton has now been signed on to work with Paramount Pictures to co-star with Jeremy Renner in Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters. Okay. Yeah. We were confused by this before, but I just like that they found the other half of the cast now. The dark action movie is set many years after the traumatic childhood incident, which ripped off two of her extra fingers.

Somewhere there's a witch with thumbs that are drawn. That's what happened to Megan Fox, too. Damn. These poor actresses in Hollywood, they can't keep their fingers and thumbs. No, Megan Fox still has her thumbs.

Well, she lost that middle part. She's got toe thumbs. Now it's all stumpy and chill. She got ran over by Steve. So, yeah, the traumatic childhood incident that we all know as the fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel.

Toe thumbs is going. To be pretty traumatic. When the adult siblings grow up, they become supernatural bounty hunters. Well, it makes them supernatural. Because they're in a fairy tale i don't know they get.

Some powers they survived a witch's yeah really they they killed a witch and maybe they ate her after her time they shoved her in an oven i mean witch's. House there you go ate. Her house and gained her power yeah. That's how it works i'm pretty sure in crazy fairy tale oh so director tommy orgola From Dead Snow, your favorite movie. Oh, I hate a dead snow movie.

Like in stereo, but opposite. He plans to start filming Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters in Berlin, Germany, in March. So he's going to get out. This was interesting just schedule-wise. I only realize now just how, I mentioned him earlier, how popular Renner is at this point.

The movie is on a tight schedule as it fits into the eight weeks in between Renner wrapping up his role in Mission Impossible, Ghost Protocol... and his role as Hawkeye in The Avengers. So, like, are there any bigger properties that he's not attached to at this point? It's crazy. Let's see. I like this, too.

Another reason that Paramount is racing to get the movie done quickly is that the studio wants to beat director Timber's adaptation of Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. So I guess these are... I'm like, really? Yeah, competing with each other? Like, Grimm's fairy tales and Abraham Lincoln, they fall in the same category?

It's like, whatever. All right. Now, this one, I personally am not a fan of the actress, but it could lead to a few interesting points, and Marlena, you may have some observations on this new project. And first, I'm going to tangent off into my own story here, because I'm about to mention Yentl. And earlier this week, I went, it's just like Yentl, which I don't say that very often.

But I did run into a... I don't really know this person, and I'm not going to mention them by name, because it's nobody's business, but there was this person that comes in that, well, as I knew them, a year or so ago, a woman, and now has a beard, and wears a yarmulke, and is going into, is very deep into learning the ways of, you know, the Jewish religion. And it seemingly looks like a man now. I'm not really sure what all is going on. I'm like, you find out as long as they're happy, you know, whatever.

They seem like they're making a couple of life choices there. Good for them. So I, but it was a lot to, I mean, I feel like you should take one at a time. Yeah. I was like both within like a year of time.

I was like, that's a lot. It's like, you know, I really feel like I'm a man, but not only a man, a Jewish man. That was, well, that was what weird. She used to, I used to see her all the time and she'd be wearing the yarmulke. And I'm like, I don't know that much about Judaism, but I'm pretty sure girls aren't supposed to wear those.

Maybe she just thought it was a cute little hat. I mean, that's the thing. At first I was like, is she just like screwing around? Cause that's going to piss off people who are actually Jewish. Hey, you're missing the propeller.

I'm like, you're going to piss somebody off. So then later I was like, again, I heard it kind of secondhand that no, she's like really into that. And she wants to learn about the faith. And I was like, okay, but if you learn a little more, I think you'll find out you're not supposed to be wearing that. And then like, again, haven't seen her in like six, eight months.

And now all of a sudden there's a beard. And I'm just like, okay, I guess. So finally I got to wrap it up with, that's just like Yentl. Yeah. I don't get to use that phrase very often.

So I thought it was funny that it was now mentioned going into this story. So that aside, although it has now been over 25 years since Yentl, during which this actress has appeared in only five movies, two of which have the word Fockers in them. singer-actress barbara streisand got her movie career started in a string of movie musicals well now she is in talks with warner brothers to finally return to the genre in a planned remake of. Gypsy the one about gypsy rosalie. There you go see i thought that i knew you'd just seen that so based on the san jaime broadway musical the memoirs of striptease artist gypsy rosalie yeah That's the thing. They say, thankfully, the 60-year-old singer will not be starring as Gypsy herself.

Because nobody wants. To see her dick. her clothes off. Even back in the day, I didn't want to see her taking her clothes off. But as her mother, Rose, who was played in the 1962 film by Rosalind Russell. So, I didn't know if you'd just seen that play.

She featured... pretty heavily in the play. The play that I saw was kind of stupid because at first it had nothing to, it was not about Gypsy Rose Lee. It was about her sister and her mother. And then mid play, all of a sudden it's about Gypsy Rose Lee. And then you're like, what?

You come back from getting a drink and you're like, who the fuck is this about now? Yeah. I got up from my seat for 10 minutes and it's a whole new play. It was just like way, it was like, uh, I mean, it could have been really interesting. But it was basically the world's longest, most poorly edited play I've ever seen in my life.

Well, maybe they'll do that with the movie. So, yeah, the character of Rose is a classic example of a stage mom, as they say, and she presses her young daughter to become an entertainer. There's no word yet as to who will be the young actress playing Gypsy herself. It's going to be me. Okay.

Get on then. I was going to ask if you had any casting ideas, but we're just going straight with you. Yep, it's going to be me. Alright, write in to Warner Brothers and make sure they know that we're casting it right now. Yeah, it's a done deal.

That in itself, again, all of this is kind of goofy, but the only thing that makes it more weird and really makes it fit into one of our normal stories, it will be produced by Joel Silver, who is usually associated with his action franchise, Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Predator, Matrix. These are his kind of movies, so... You factor these two things together in the middle, is it going to meet and be like burlesque? I heard sucked. Yeah, no, I was like, is it going to be, because it's like the new Showgirls, basically.

Only at least Showgirls was entertaining in a bad way. From what I hear, burlesque is not even entertaining. So, yeah, I'm wondering, is that the road they're going down by having Joel Silver attached? Is it, you know? going to lose any sense of what. Unless Barbra Streisand carries a gatling gun or something.

Which would be awesome at some point Barbra Streisand says I ain't got time to bleed and then guns down a bunch of people I'd watch that I don't want to watch most of her stuff but I'd watch that call it shoot the fucker please at this point give it up that joke's not funny anymore we get it it's funny you're still watching and we get it so okay Now I return, it's been a long time, but I return to our running feature of... What? Actually, this one's entertaining. I'm not even angry about it, I'm just sort of confused. Because who would have ever thought they would have based a movie around the video game Madden Football?

Nice. Nice. And in such a weird way. I don't think I've heard this version of this story before. The video game company Electronic Arts is developing a movie project inspired by the Madden Curse.

Are you familiar with the Madden Curse? Yeah, you're on the cover one year, and the next year you get hurt and put out for the rest. Of the season. Again, I don't pay attention to football because I don't care. So, it's funny, I like the ridiculous story.

So, yeah, any NFL player that appears on the cover soon will suffer from an injury or decline in performance. That's the Madden Curse. So... At this point, there is not any writer, director, or movie studio actually attached. I wonder why.

Because it sucks. Because it's a ridiculous idea for a movie. People would rather spend two hours watching football. Yeah. I guess if you care about football, you're just watching football right about then.

So Electronic Arts hopes that someone will come aboard to make this movie a reality. Hope in one hand and shit in the other. Rather than it be about an athlete, the planned movie would be about a former Madden video game champion who is forced out of retirement just as he finds himself on the game's cover and subject to the curse. Yeah, that's just dumb. It is.

You know what? Make a movie about the video game Lost Luggage. Remember that game? I think it came out for Atari. I'm thinking Burger Time.

It was called Lost Luggage. All you had to do was run back and forth and grab the suitcases that were falling down from the street. But does anybody remember Crazy Climber? AC Climber sounds vaguely familiar. Yeah, you had like the two joysticks and you had to climb up a building and not fall off.

And there'd be like old ladies that would open the window and drop like flower pots on your head. So yeah, that's asking to be turned into a movie, guys. I'm telling you. I don't know why they never made a Contra movie. I think that would be awesome.

That one actually, yeah. I think that would be a great movie. Where's the Metal Gear Solid movie? I want that. I want it, but I don't want to screw it up.

Yeah, Metal Gear, any of them would have made a good movie. Yeah. Bionic Commando. Dwayne Johnson is the Bionic Commando. That might be pretty good.

I can see him as the Bionic Commando. That's happening. It's just been greenlit. Yeah, come on. I just like the weird urban legend angle.

I was like, is it really going to be, is it going to be like urban legend or like Final Destination where as soon as you're on the cover, there's this weird series of events that they're going to fall into some sort of horrible injury. Yeah. So we're going to see, like, you know. It'll be like a horror sports movie. Yeah.

Just created a new genre. It'll be like. A horror sports movie. Yeah, a horror sports movie. That's called Jerry Maguire.

It is, actually. I know people love that, but I cannot get on board. But, no, like, death just, like, invisibly starts moving things around. Like, what if they're on the football field? And, like, he starts moving shit around, and it ends with, you know, somebody thighs him in themselves and just snapping their legs.

The scene before the movie. They're in the training room remember see that's what I'm saying it's like the urban legend angle like threw it down that road for me I was like now if you make it that ridiculous and that stupid I might have to go. See that that seems kind of fun actually stupid. I love urban legends I love Final. Destination I'm hoping they go that route don't it alright and we can round things up with an update to our ongoing Toys in the Attic heading because we've made fun of this already we already made.

Fun of the Ouija movie They're going to do a Ouija board movie. So Universal Pictures is proceeding with its plans with Hasbro to adapt the company's board games into actual big-budget movies. Battleship is currently filming, scheduled to come out in 2012. It may very well be the end of the world, actually. But the next project up, Ouija, which we've already made fun of, is scheduled for November 2012.

The world will be over then. We don't have to worry about that shit. I hope so at this point. And they've begun negotiations. They now have a director.

Could it get any worse? Yes. The director is Joseph McGendinickle. Hey, at least it's not you at all. Do you recognize that name?

No. Joseph McGinty-Nickel, a.k.a. McG. Oh, McG. Oh, God.

He makes some good music. Yeah. He did Fastlane. Fastlane was awesome. I don't care what anybody says.

Fastlane kicked ass. He's just gone steadily downhill. It's like everything he... And just attaching him to a project almost makes it suck now. It's...

Isn't he slated to do the Pickup Sticks movie? I believe he is, actually. Right after he finishes Don't Break the Ice. It's a cool game we can all play. Don't spray the beans.

So, yeah. Oh, McG is... Pretty sneaky, sis. That's right. Do you know how many times I said that over the holiday?

I got to play that with my nephew, and I continually said, Pretty sneaky, sis. Which he continually was like, Hey, I'm not a sis. And then I had to explain the commercial to him, and then he kind of thought it was funny. Then I actually got to say it to my sister, so it was all funny. Pretty sneaky, sis.

So if McG signs on, the filming is scheduled to start on the Supernatural Action Adventure... What? That makes no sense. This summer. So, yeah.

If it makes it any better, the Ouija script is adapted by the screenwriters Adam Horowitz and Edward Ewan Doe. Yes, yes. It's written by a beastie boy. Edward Kitsis, who are best known for writing several episodes of Lost and co-writing Tron Legacy. That's not going to make any sense.

So, yeah, I was like, that's no reassuring in the writing there, because we go from a plot that nobody can follow to a plot that, well, to no plot at all, basically. So, yeah, I don't know. Is there anything good coming out of this? No. I can at least see with Luigi, you can write a campy, supernatural thing that you play with it and somebody dies.

I mean, they already did. It's called Witch Board. Right. It basically writes itself. Well, I mean, and another game, it's like Jumanji and Zathura.

Those are good movies. Leave it alone. That one that sucked that had Eliza Dushku in it. Which one? Well, they played this game, and it was kind of like if you lost in the game.

Oh, good lord. That was... I don't remember the name of it. That was a video game, though, wasn't it? It was a movie.

Was it a movie? Yeah, and at the end she turns into a big dragonfly. Spoiler alert! I don't know the name of it, but I'm going to ruin it. That way it makes.

It more of a challenge. Figure out which movie. You're three quarters of the way through. Fuck, Missy, you ruined this movie and I didn't even know it. You didn't turn into it.

She's like half-naked and she's got wings. Well, there you go. Half-naked sold a lot of the listeners already. Half-naked douche-coo. I heard douche-coo's half-naked.

At a movie. I'm going to go see that now. Even though she does... become a dragonfly. She got dragonfly wings and she flies around that's hot god i must. Have blocked that out because i really don't remember.

It I can't remember what it's called. Oh, it sucks. I'm pretty sure it was a sci-fi original. I hate to tell you, our review of Black Waters of Echo's Pond was very similar to that, because, yeah, that's exactly what that game. You play a ridiculously huge elaborate board game, and then things go wrong in the real world.

Yeah, so. We've already seen many versions of this movie. I don't know why we need to see it again. I don't know that we need McG attached to it. So, I don't know.

But with that news, I guess it makes McG Mr. Weegee. Yeah, dude. With that, we will wrap up part one here and invite you to come back and join us for part two in this week's Sofa Theater feature, George Romero's Martin. Is that the one with Shanaynay?

Yes. I believe George Romero is in drag as Shanaynay. Come back and join. . . . Who is this mysterious wizard? What new villainy are his men up to?

Don't miss Tunnel of Terror, the second exciting chapter of Batman and Robin, at this theater next week. This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.