128: Are You Ready to Rockula

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Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome. To Movie Meltdown. I am Brian. I'm Greg.

I'm Marlena. And we're back for another fun-filled session. We're also back in our original studio space here for the first time in, I don't know, like five months or more. It's been a long time. We've been traveling from one place to the other to do a show, so we're back in our now-painted and officially kick-ass studio space.

It's kick-ass. Unexpected decor. See, once again, it shows you who you're dealing with here. Not everybody would decide to decorate a room in their house, to devote an entire room of their house to this sideshow theme. But, yeah...

If someone had to. Do it, it was going to be you. Sideshow freaks, it's the way to go. The Odyssey studio, as it were, is now up and running again. Yep, pretty awesome.

All right, I guess we can head into the geek activities. This past week, I, again, finally got around to watching a movie everybody else saw last year. I watched Regret. Okay. Okay.

Uh and i have the the only point i want to make i mean most of it i guess has been said before but the point that i want to make is it's all about hayley steinfeld i'm like all the the praise and attention was was heaped on to uh freaking lebowski boy there jeff bridges bridges yeah why why he got all the attention i'm not saying his performance isn't good it's just it's the showy one you know it's like And to me, it's almost the one that you could fall into relatively easy. I mean, he's got the crazy drunken slur. He's, you know, he's got the limp. So I'm like, to me, once you're in that costume, you're in that mode, it would be pretty easy to do that. You know, it would almost be pretty easy to fall into that character and do what he has to do.

Whereas like Haley Steinfeld, number one, is a kid. So, I mean, she's already like, you know, she doesn't have the 40 plus years of experience that Jeff Bridges has. Right. And to be able to just kind of command the screen when she's on it. It was, what, 15 minutes in or so when I got to the scene of her negotiating with that guy with the horses.

And I was just like, wow. I was like, this kid is awesome. I'm barely keeping up with what they're talking about as far as this business deal is concerned. This is like, how many years ago? And she's a 14-year-old and girl at that time who probably wasn't even encouraged to think on her own.

So the fact that this character, let alone the actress herself, is doing this good a job at keeping control of what's going on on the screen is pretty impressive. And it just continued from there. It's like everybody she dealt with, she still kind of had to be in charge. Whether she liked it or not, she was the only one keeping everything on track. So yeah, it's pretty interesting how well she does Being as young as she is, and I haven't really seen her in a lot of other stuff, so it will be interesting to see where she goes in upcoming roles.

I don't know. Yeah, I always want for the young actors and actresses to really take a long time and pick, after they've had a good, solid role, take their time and pick something new. Not just to get experience or get money or to cash in on fame, but to really be proud of everything they do at a slow pace. I mean, if it comes quickly, sure, but you don't want to burn out too soon. I think there's a certain amount of genius... that comes from, you know, being one of the first times and, you know, that the really good kids that can tap into that are, are special.

Yeah. Well, we've had such a run lately and especially like young girls. It's like, you've got the, the Haley Steinfeld, you've got, um, like Saoirse Ronan, you've got, uh, Chloe Moretz. It's like all these young girls coming up, just delivering these like amazing performances. Right.

Have there been, boys. I'm trying to think why, you know, I was trying to decide why we've had such a run. Cause we've always had like the one, usually it's that one, you know, going back, there's always, you know, you're, you're Natalie Portman doing a, you're the professional version, you know, it's like, or even like, um, I was thinking back when I first saw Kirsten Dunst interview, the vampire, she's amazing. Sure. And it's funny.

She got more lame as her time went off. Like when I look at her and stuff now, I'm just like, Oh, whatever. But, She was so, like, again, just somebody who just commands the screen. And she was, what, like 11 tops when she made that? So, I mean, we went through that, like, one every, you know, couple of years or so.

But lately it seems like we've had a run of specifically girls that have been really turning in amazing performances. Yeah, I mean, they try. I mean, you have, but as far as the boys, but I can't think of any that have put together that, performance that you're like where did that come from. Yeah i can't i can't even think of any. Hayley joe osmond from six cents was pretty good he's.

Done nothing since that's all yeah it's going back a long time but yeah he carried that it's just seeing movies that you kind of like rest the entire thing on the shoulders of a kid which is kind of a lot to ask right yeah i was thinking like henry thomas He carries E.T. Oh, sure. If you want to go back further and just find child actors, then we're kind of carrying movies. But, yeah, I was trying to think of boys that, yeah, we've kind of lost a lot of that lately, it seems like. Unless I'm overlooking a few.

So if anybody else knows of it, hey, pass it along. Not Jonah Hill. Is he a child prodigy? No. Not Jonah Hill?

What are you talking about? He's an amazing child actor. I could see it wasn't a child, but I'm just saying that I'm trying to think of young. I mean, I've heard good things about the Super 8 kids, but they seem a little older, and they seem like they're playing a pretty normal, goofy, 12-year-old boy kind of thing. They don't seem like they're delivering Oscar-caliber performances, which the girls seem to have stepped up, likely.

Will Wheaton. Will Wheaton. How far back are you going? Yeah, I'm going way back. I was like, are you doing Next Generation?

You can say like River Phoenix and things like that. Yeah, that's true. I mean, you say Henry Thomas, but. Yeah. It does seem like you have to go back a ways, but maybe we're just massively overlooking some, but I can't.

Offhand, yeah, I can't think of it. Culkin. What? The fine performance from Uncle Buck. That's right.

Hey, I love Macaulay Culkin. He was a great actor when he was a child. I'm staying out of that one. Okay. So the only other thing I watched that was going to go into, um, I did watch and I'd been meaning to forever.

I've been hearing about it for at least a year now. And, uh, Solomon Cain, have you, uh, it's, it's another one. I've not figured out what the problem was. There's a weird distribution cause it's made like two years ago, I think, but it's still not officially found its way to the U S and I don't know what the issue is. I'd, I didn't bother to go into it.

I just wanted to see it. So it's good that it started to make its way over here, whatever way you find it. But it's really pretty well done. I mean, it's based on the same writer that did Conan, and it's sort of based. It's not that same universe.

It's a little more grounded, I guess. I mean, it's not so much the. It's still very sword and sorcery, but it's not so much the crazy medieval times that Conan is. It's more like Pilgrims and Pirates. It's that 1600 England kind of time.

So it's still swords, and this is the part that always threw me off. It's still swordplay through the majority of the movie, but then he'll pull out a gun and he'll shoot the. Big metal ball into somebody. It's that old pirate gun, you know, action that you get one shot, but it's, it's so funny watching him pull out a gun and do like a, you know, a gangsta shooting in the middle of this, you know, sword fight action. He like, you know, he just pulls out a gun.

It's really weird. Solomon Cain, Solomon Cain. And it's, uh, it is one of those. It's, um, I got it. And I told Misty this being as, uh, attached to this title as, as I was as well.

I got kind of a resurgence of that feeling I got as a kid watching Beastmaster. Wow. It's not as cheesy. It's played more serious. It's not quite that type of movie, but it is that return to sword and sorcery kind of movie, and it's played kind of for fun.

I mean, it it's got a serious tone to it, but it doesn't get super arty. I mean, something like Valorizing came out and is a lot more arty, you know, in the way that it approaches it, where this is more for just a fun, you know, kick-ass kind of sword and sorcery movie. So, And it's pretty well done for something that, again, I guess didn't get a lot of backing. But, I mean, effects-wise, it's got some creatures they throw in. It's got some other stuff.

You know, it looks good on screen. It all looks very well done. And why it didn't make its way out to get a big theatrical release in this country, I don't know why. But, yeah, James Purfoy is the lead character. And I think Rome is probably the biggest thing he's been...

He's actually in... I went back trying to figure out why I recognized him. I think he's in A Knight's Tale, if I remember. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's going back that far.

If I remember, he might be, like, the prince. Remember at one point, like, the prince comes in. The jerk prince? No, not the jerk one. That's, like, Rufus Seawall or whatever.

Oh, that's right. This is the one that was, like, the king's son that would come in and, like, covertly joust guys because he wasn't you know nobody would he was the nice nobody yeah nobody would ever like jousting because when they found out he was royalty so he would come in and like sneak in just because he wanted to be treated like a commoner i think he was that guy if i'm remembering correctly but yeah that's that's about the only he's been in a ton of stuff but he's really good he's he's he carries this well he also comes off kind of normal like it's not conan he's not huge he's just kind of like built like a regular guy but he puts on And again, if ever there was an odd choice, he puts on the pilgrim attire.

He's got like the big black hat and like a big long black coat. But somehow it becomes badass when he puts it on. And he climbs on and he carries two swords and he just hacks the hell out of people. And there's some good fight scenes in it. So it's definitely worth watching.

Yeah, I would even, you know, put it on the list, watch it somewhere down the line for the show because I think it's really entertaining. Yeah. Those were the two big ones I watched this week. That sounds interesting. That sounds like something I'd really get into.

So I guess it's to me now. Oh, all right. I watched... I put my things through. I self-threw movies on purpose sometimes to see what I get out of them.

I think we all do that, especially on this show. And so I watched From Paris with Love. Oh, the John Travolta. Yeah, and Jonathan Rhys-Myers, who should have gotten top billing because he's in every scene. Yeah.

It's John Travolta. Well, yeah, he's the vehicle. I think John Travolta had on the jacket from Against the Dark that Steven Seagal was wearing, if anybody catches that reference. You love that movie so much. I do.

That's one of my favorite bad movies of all time. I hope everybody sees Steven Seagal's Against the Dark. It's pretty much a straightforward buddy, spy, shoot-em-up movie. The fight scenes are as good as any other fight scene movie. The reason why I watched it is because it had...

From the second I saw the preview, I said, this is going to be horrible. I guess it came out early last year, 2010. It looked epic bad. Yeah, and. Critics panned it.

It did horribly at the box office. It did, yeah. So that's like the trifecta of you've got to see this movie now. So I put myself to watching it. Like I said, it's pretty much a straightforward buddy shoot-em-up kind of movie.

You've got the green young rookie guy and you've got the. He's out of control. Exactly. The out of control. You never know what he's going to do.

Maverick! If. If John Travolta had humility about him, like he did in Pulp Fiction, which his career was horrible at the time before Pulp Fiction, and there was a certain amount of humility that he brought to the table, I think it would have been a much better movie. There was a lot of plot issues I had with it, too. I think it was because it was adapted from a book, and I don't think they stayed with the book.

I think it was just, how are we going to put them in another scene to shoot up a bunch of people? So it was kind of like a Death Wish, you know, kind of movie anyway. Just puts you in scene after scene of blowing stuff up. Nice. And bad references to other movies, bad.

One-liners. But that's what you get with that genre. So, you know, I think they promoted it as it was going to be something epic. Yeah. And it really wasn't.

It was. Aside from... Well, we'll say, we've brought this up many times... you've either seen or not seen but everybody's seen the trailer for Taken where that one scene is the best part of the movie and the rest of the movie is just somebody being somewhere else in the world blowing people up that's what this is but John Travolta so it wasn't horrible. It entertained me. While I ate some popcorn the other thing that I saw was and I'm going to recommend this for anyone with my sense of humor, is a movie called The Ten.

It's David Wayne, who is the director of most of the state stuff for Red Hot Americans, or Wet Hot American Summer, and Stella, I think, that group. Yeah, yeah. Which are pretty damn entertaining. Right. And he, it's a movie, it's ten shorts, all based on The Ten Commandments.

And it's basically like the state does the Ten Commandments is what it is. And it's all in real world story. And I think all of the original members of the state end up in one of the little vignettes. They always still end up working together. Usually just twos and threes.

Wait, you mean the state? The state. The sketch comedy on MTV? That's amazing. That's one of the best sketches.

Michael Showalter shows up in one scene as a cop that's standing around. You know. There's a shoot-em-up going on, and he's standing around with some other cops smoking and drinking, and he goes, somebody should call the cops. That's his one line of the movie, but he's in there as a little cameo. Nice.

And it's very funny. There's stuff that falls on its face, but it's pretty funny. It's got a lot of actors and actresses. Paul Rudd is kind of your main narrator character throughout the movie. It's definitely worth watching.

There are some really good laughs in it. There are some that you go, eh, you know. They're hit and miss, but most of. The time it's a hit. And if you like the state at all, it's definitely worth watching.

It's funny how underappreciated they were at the time. Now they've become, like in comedy circles, that's sort of like royalty. It's amazing how many people draw from that now. But at the time, there were a few dorks that sat at home watching MTV, like me, that thought it was awesome. And yeah, I loved that show back when it was on, but nobody cared about it at the time.

My wife and I were dating at the time in different cities, and we both would record it, and we both would watch it and immediately call and talk to each other like dorks. And at the time, I think I felt like we were the only two people in. The world that watched it. So yeah, it's... it's good stuff. So anyway, that one, that was my definite recommendation.

I watched, uh, from Paris with love or two, but whatever it's called, the John Travolta movie, that horrible look of his. Yeah. You don't have to go see that. Why? Just that's what kills me is that look, the, the, the bald head and the goatee and the earring.

It's just, Oh, it's terrible. He does have his moments where he's pretty funny. I mean, he, he can be funny. He can be, but, um. It's, yeah, I mean, it was one of those I thought maybe because of the ridiculous, over-the-top nature of it, like it might work on that level of, wow, this movie is so terrible that it's sort of entertaining in its own sad way.

It's not as. Bad as, I hoped it was that bad. I wanted it to be that bad and be very entertained by it, but it's just kind of bad. And the worst part of the movie is the fact that his vice, his thing that he um, has to have to eat is a Royale with cheese. And it, it's, it's just, they're going as low as possible to get that referencing joke.

So, yes, that's bad. Yep. So that's my referencing your own movies. And yeah. All right.

Marlene. Um, I basically just watched a bunch of TV. Although last night I watched triplets of Belleville. Yeah. I'd never seen it before.

I've heard it was good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Going into it, the people I was watching it with, they're like, it's kind of weird.

You might not like it. I'm like, I like French movies. I like animated movies. I like silent movies, and I like musicals. I don't really think there's going to be a problem here.

There wasn't. I loved it. It was really awesome. The animation was different. It was, like, amazing.

Have these people ever met you? Like, how is weird going to be something that's going to throw you off? It was my boyfriend's dad. Oh, okay. I guess.

But, uh. Yeah, it was awesome. The animation was really good and the music was awesome. Apparently, like, there's parts where they're playing, like, a refrigerator and a bicycle spoke and things like that. Yeah.

Cleaner, and, like, in the studio when they're making those sounds, that's what they're really using, which I think is really cool. It took me a while. Like, I was tired when I watched it, so, like, I feel embarrassed for admitting this. I didn't catch on to the story right away. Yeah.

I can't say I don't just... you know, go to sleep most of the time. But yeah, there was something lately that has taken many tries. I mean, I felt like that a lot lately with things I'm watching something and I'm like, I think I just zone out for a second. Like I'll get to this later, but the movie that we had to watch for, This week's podcast. I still don't know why the mom did what she did.

And I just missed that part completely. I don't know. We'll talk about that more later. I've got one. I just remembered what it was I kept not finishing.

If I can interrupt yours for another one that I totally forgot about with good reason. I watched My Soul to Take, that Wes Craven movie. I could not. That's the thing. I fall asleep on movies all the time.

That's sort of a given with me. This wasn't that. This was, it was like 20 minutes in and I just went. I don't know what's going on right now and I don't really care. I quit paying attention.

And that's not my nature. It's like if I'm watching a movie, I focus on the movie. I pay attention to the movie. I'm not doing other stuff. It's like if I'm watching a movie, I'm watching a movie.

And that's what I was doing. I wasn't even doing anything else. I was to the point my mind was wandering while watching this movie. Like to the point, yeah, five, six minutes had gone by and I went, I don't even know what they're talking about right now. And I don't care.

So I stopped it. And like the next day I tried to go back and finish watching it. I got about that, I got maybe another 10, 15 minutes in and I went, oh my God, I just, I'm going to go take a nap or something. It took me three specific times of not falling asleep, but stopping myself and going, but I was damned and determined to make it all the way through. I watched it.

It's terrible. It really is bad as everybody said it was. It's yeah, it's bad. I, I heard it was like a wannabe nightmare on Elm Street or something. No, it's not even that.

That's the thing. I mean, it's almost hard to believe this is Wes Craven. Like, I mean, I know he turns in some off movies every once in a while, but I mean, this is just, it's bad. Like, it's just everything about, and that's what's really sad is like, this isn't even like, I mean, his last one, he didn't, you know, scream. He didn't even write that.

He's just turning in a directing job. This movie, he wrote it and directed it. And I was just like, Are you really losing it that much that, like, you cannot piece together? Because, I mean, the story's just dumb. The characters say horrible things.

Like, it's just bad dialogue. But the plot where they work in the killer character is just dumb. Like, more than anything. It's like, I just... I don't care.

And by the end of it, you get sort of pieced together the story. And I'm just like, wow, that was really bad. There's just nothing to it to really make you want to come back to it. It's... Yeah, I.

Which. I give myself credit. I was damned and determined to finish it, and I did. I watched it all, but it took me three days to get through it. Okay, I interrupted you.

Sorry. I don't know what it is, why I do that. I think it's because I'm so accustomed to reading part of a book, putting it down, reading part of another book, putting it down, reading part of another book, putting it down, picking up the first book. I do that with movies and shows and everything. TV shows, like kind of encourage that, at least in their original run.

I'll watch half a TV show, and then go back and watch the other half of it. I think I'm just so used to doing that, it's just like I'll lose focus, like, halfway in, and I'm just like, yeah. But I eventually caught on. It was really good. Actually, someone explained it to me.

I'm like, yeah, I thought that's what was going on. Which movie are you talking about? Triplets of Belvedere. That was like us and Hannah completely missing out that it. Was Yeah, I mean, we went and saw that, and we stood in the parking lot and talked about it for like an hour, and never did we really...

We had a lot of other stuff. I mean, we came up with a lot of different takes on it, but never got to the fact that... I mean, and even the director himself said it's a veiled fairy tale. Right. And by the end, it's very obvious.

I mean, I realized they were playing on that at the very end, but I didn't realize just how specific... It's not even failed. They're hitting you in the face. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's totally up front by the end of it.

But, I mean, the entire structure of it is a fairy tale. Everything that goes on is based around the tropes of fairy tales. I mean, it is funny that we just really didn't draw on that at all. It was late. I don't know.

Yeah, that's true. It was very late. We're kind of sleepy. Sorry to interrupt you again. It's okay.

I mean. I don't really... That's pretty much all I have to say about it. It was awesome. I liked it.

Two thumbs up. It was all hand-drawn, if I remember. It's like old-school animation, yeah. Yeah. Which is awesome.

All right. Anything else? I've been watching a lot of Hoarders lately. It's not really so much movie-related. But every time I watch Hoarders, it's like an excellent motivational tool.

Like I watched Hoarders and then I had to pause it and organize my DVD cabinet. I don't want to be like that. Yeah, I was watching Hoarders yesterday and had to pause it and I cleaned out the trunk of my car. I'm like, hmm, yeah. Because I have Hoarder tendencies for sure.

I mean, a lot of us in this podcast, most of them aren't currently here, but a lot of us. Have Hoarder tendencies. I don't know, I'd say all of us in this room still... I'm going to fall into that category. Are you a hoarder too?

I had to rent a. Roll-off dumpster, a big one, to clean out my basement. I had so much stuff that we got rid of. And I haven't even gotten the dumpster, so I'm still toting my shit around. I just got rid of most of mine.

I'm trying to be an ex-hoarder. I just figure I'll watch the show and I'll be like, well, at least eventually I'll get to be on TV. I just wanted to be for a bunch of stuff and not garbage. Like the one I was watching yesterday. The lady's house was full of garbage.

They found like four dead cats in her house. That's not good at all. I know you're like ten years of garbage. The worst one I saw was the bird lady. That everything was just feathers and feces.

Somebody was telling me about that. It made me sick to watch it. Like you have to change it because you're so... Disgusted by it. Yeah.

I mean, my closet is the only place where it is apparent that I'm a hoarder. And it's like, I have to shove everything in there and close the door really fast and block it with a stool so it doesn't fly open and everything spill out. But it's because I don't have enough shelves. I don't even have a hanging bar in my closet. I have a pull-out, rolling.

Clothes rack and it's broken so i just kind of throw everything. In there see i've decided that's what i like i almost prefer that i want just like a storage facility i i don't need everything and i've done that everything's pretty stripped down here but everything's crammed in one area it's like i just need more storage space so i can stockpile it and you know i can hoard it but back there i don't need it around me all the time i don't need access to it constantly i But every once in a while when I need whatever it is I've stored away, I need to be able to go get to it. So I like that. I like the vault scenario, obviously, since I've worked it into the show as well. But I like the idea of being able to have access to everything, but you don't necessarily have to get to it every day.

You're just stockpiling it somewhere else out of the way. That's what I need. I just need a giant storage facility behind my house. Anything else for you this week? Nope.

All right. That does it. Pretty unexciting week, movie-wise. Do we want to go into our food item this week? I don't know that we're doing an official tie-in, but, you know, as our listeners know, we usually come.

Up with nice food. Yeah, to me, it's very normal. Like, I don't know that it... I guess maybe it's one of our weird little things, but to me, it's just like when you're at home. I mean, don't you, like, get together with your friends and eat food and watch a movie?

I mean, that's... kind of comes with the territory. So we try to tie that in and make it as normal and real world as it would be otherwise, even if there weren't recorders here. The theme that goes along with the food and movie tie-in for today is that there are layers of cheese within it. Yes. Within both.

We're having lasagna tonight. So I think we're going to... We're going to take a break here and go have some lasagna. And we'll be back with this week's Sofa Theater feature, Rockula. La, la, la, la, lasagna.

You want the summer lasagna. Magnifico. Or maybe spaghetti. Hey, you suppers are ready. Now where do you go?

Mamma mia, bambino. Mamma mia, bambino. Samara, yo. Samara, yo. You'll like our pizza pies, made from a famous Italian recipe.

They're waiting for you right now at the concession stand. Enjoy tempting food at its best. What's up? It's Brian again. Just here to tell you it's coming up on one of our favorite times of year here at Movie Meltdown.

It's coming up on the Fright Night Film Fest. This will be the seventh annual Fright Night Film Fest. But not only that. This year also kicks off Fandom Fest. an entire second convention. Of geek and pop culture.

But wait, you get both awesome shows for the same low price. Now this is no longer just a convention that caters to horror geeks. But it crosses over into a whole new realm where fantasy and sci-fi lovers, as well as comic book collectors, general film lovers... You can hang out with gamers, authors, and artists of all types. It's like Geek Valhalla, only you don't have to die to get there.

You just have to get your tickets now. Now the main guest, the legend himself, director John Carpenter. Amazing. One of the most influential directors of our time. Not only that, this list of guests goes on.

We've got the Fonz himself, Henry Winkler. That is so awesome. Also, Margot Kidder, Tiffany Shephus, Larry Drake, Jeremy Bullock, Tony Moore, and the stars of The Walking Dead. The stars of Enter the Dragon, Bruce Lee not included. A Karate Kid Cobra Kai reunion.

And give us a Revenge of the Nerds reunion. Seriously. Featuring Robert Carradine, Larry B. Scott, Curtis Armstrong, and if booger bean there wasn't enough, Donald Gibb. Ogre, ladies and gentlemen, will be there.

There's so many others. I mean, the stars of American Graffiti, Jaws, Phantasm, so many other stars. You'll just have to go look at the list. It's ridiculous how many stars are there. Plus, again, we cross over into all the other activities that are added this year.

You've got literary guests and gaming guests and artists. There'll be seminars and workshops going on, movies the entire weekend, live music, a masquerade ball, and the now infamous Georgetown Drive-In event. plus an appearance from your friends at Movie Meltdown. And isn't that really the most impressive thing? And it's all going on July 22nd through the 24th in Louisville, Kentucky. So get your tickets now.

You can go to FrightNightFilmFest.com or the site for the new convention, Fandom Fest. That's F-A-N-D-O-M-F-E-S-T dot com. It's going to be one hell of a weekend. The Fright Night Film Fest is my favorite film festival. Hands down.

Now I'm asking you to surrender your heart. You made me wait forever. My hope had almost died. You stopped the world from. Turning when you were by my side.

One good thing that came out of me cleaning out my basement is I found my VHS copy of Get. Get. And I might have, no one else has ever seen that, that I know of. In the world. Yeah, probably in the world.

You're the only one. So anyone that I know, no one else. Has ever seen it. So I'm going to have to at least lend it out. I feel like I need to see it.

I don't know that I have been in a big hurry, obviously, because it's been like 15 years. I thought that you would get a copy of it anywhere. So before we're officially back, do you want to go into a moment? Huh? Which one should I go into first?

Oh, I don't know. You think about it whilst I give you your announcement. Okay. Announce time from Marlena Moore. Okay, so last week I went to my place of employment to pick up some of my friends that I work with.

It was my friend's birthday. We were dressed up to go out and dance and have dinner and stuff like that. And there's this crazy there's this thing happening in the town that I work called jaywalk which is basically where like all these drunk people like ride this big bus and go from bar to bar and just like wear t-shirts and it's just like the dumbest idea ever it's like hey public intoxication is cool and fun and like this is a great idea but anyway so there's this crazy lady hanging out in front of my work and we walk up and she goes what's up jiggles and i was like excuse me she was like she's like i hope you're a bartender with your boobs like that and then she started grabbing her own boobs and she's like i feel you girl i'd like to let mine all hang out but she wasn't she was probably not wearing a bra but she was wearing a button-up polo shirt and i was like uh yeah and uh Then she looked at me and she said, you look nice.

She looked at my friend who was her birthday and she goes, you look nice. And then she looked at my friend Sarah and she goes, eh. I think that's my favorite part of the story. And then this lady was just rambling. We were like not inviting her into any conversation whatsoever.

And she's like, hey, I have this deaf boyfriend. His name's Stevie. He thinks I'm into girls, but I'm not. She's like, but he's only known me for a week, so he doesn't really know that much about me. And I'm like, okay.

Thanks for sharing. Yeah. I'm like, awesome. And she's like, I'm a displaced teacher from Pennsylvania. And, you know, someone was just like, oh, really?

You know, just kind of like, whatever, don't care. And she's like, yeah, I taught erotica to special needs children. And we were like. That's probably why you're a displaced teacher. Yeah.

There's so many things wrong with that statement. I know. But it's maybe one of the best things I've ever heard in my life. I taught Aaronica to special needs children. First of all, does anybody teach Aaronica?

Exactly. You just sort of buy it in a brown paper bag and you take it out real fast and you go read it alone by yourself or with whatever toys that you need. But, yeah, I don't know. If so, it's probably a very high-end class that wouldn't let that crazy bitch teach it. And second of all, do you need to be teaching that to special needs children?

Yeah. I mean, what's something, is this our tax dollars at work? Yeah. I think she's probably, this is probably in her mind that she did this. I hope so.

But, and then she looks at my friend Sarah and goes, do you know the difference between erotica and porn? And Sarah's like, yes, I do. But we were all just like staring there in shock and horror like, this crazy woman outside claims to teach erotica to special needs children. She needs to be removed. So I walked in and I told my boss, I was like, there's a really creepy lady outside.

She made me feel uncomfortable. So he escorted her away. He like kicked her out. Told her not to come back. That's great.

So basically you said, I need an adult. I need an adult. I know. I was like, I need an adult. And I mean, I have to say, she was the creepiest person I've ever met in my life.

And it's usually old men that are creepy, but no, she like, Was the creepiest person ever. See, I'm still kind of intrigued. I want to know what her reasoning between, what her difference between erotica and porn was. It doesn't matter. Neither one needs to be taught to special needs children.

I want to know where she was going with that. I don't know. I don't know. What do they do once they've learned this? Put it into action.

And now, kids, we're going to start the soundtrack. Okay, well, there is this, these videos that someone once directed me to on YouTube, and it's this, like, classful of mentally handicapped children doing slam and beat poetry. Oh, God. And one of them is this, he's mentally handicapped, and he's in a wheelchair. He's very physically handicapped, and his body is shriveled, and his name is, like, Stevie or something, or Steve, or I don't know what his name is.

But he wants to be a girl. And he's, like, dressed up like a girl. And his, like, slam poem is about how he wants to be a sexy woman. But he can't be because he's, like, this poor handicapped boy. Yeah.

Yeah, it made me think of that. That makes me sad. I mean, I'm really sad for that personally. Mm-hmm. That sounds really depressing, but mostly just because it's slam poetry.

There's one I'll have to show you. It's called I'm a Werewolf. It's amazing. If there was one called I'm a Vampire, it could be relevant to this week's episode. So, do we need one shot, or do you have more stories that you want to get out before you forget about them all?

What was the other thing that happened? Oh, the in line in front of you. Oh, eh, I can leave that one out. Yeah. It's, once again, just America at its finest.

I'll have more because, you know, these things just happen to me. I don't know why, but they do. That's why we try to give you the outlet and took a special Marlena moment break. I mean, I feel like I need to write a book or something. They publish all kinds of stuff, so I can't imagine that not getting published.

It's more interesting than most things out there as far as I'm concerned. Yep. Yep. All right, well, then we'll take the rest of this break and come back with a sweet smoke. Your spirit is bent on destruction.

Rock you up. Your spirit is bent on. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a must for all of you. If you don't go and see it, I shall personally come around to your houses. And drag you out by the scruff of the neck.

I shall belt you around the mouth and mouth you around the belt. Do you understand what I'm saying? See the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Rated R. Under 17.

Not admitted without parent. Tweaked Audio, your source for high-performance, noise-reducing earbuds. Available in three styles and seven colors, durable and designed to sound great for both music and those chatty podcasts, like the one you're listening to now. Tweaked Audio earbuds come with a one-year warranty, and now there's a special deal for Movie Meltdown listeners. Just go to tweakedaudio.com, and when you check out, enter the discount code MELTDOWN.

Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. It's time for Sofa Theater. And this kid is Rockula.

Okay, we are back once again, and this time for this week's Sofa Theater Featured. This week's Sofa Theater feature is the aforementioned Rockula. Rockula! The year is 1990. The director, Luca Boccovisi, and if I'm saying that wrong, tough.

But he actually is an actor as well, and you would probably recognize him if you saw him. He's been in quite a few movies over the years, and yeah, some cheesy action stuff. Yeah, he's He's very recognizable once you go look him up. He's one of those guys that you see and. Say, oh, that guy.

Yeah, he's that guy. He's definitely one you would never know that his name is Luko Berkovich. But yeah, you definitely recognize him once you see him in action. Like Walker Texas Ranger and Criminal Minds or just stuff like that. Tons of TV and weird movies.

Yep, definitely. So with that, we'll throw out the spoiler alert, because even the plot here, well, the basic, and once again, we're going to IMDb, like we usually do, but the basic one-sentence one, which is usually the one I prefer, was dumb and wrong, and I was like, all right, fine. So I scrolled down, and we've got a more lengthy one here. This one goes into quite a bit of it, so, you know, spoiler alert, even on the plot synopsis here. Huh.

Rockula is about a male vampire who lost his lady love centuries ago. I love letting other people write random synopsis. She was killed by a pirate with a rhinestone pig leg, wielding a large ham bone. Our hero, the vampire, did nothing to save her. So he has now courage to watch her be born again in another life, and then watch her die, strangely enough, by a pirate with a rhinestone pig leg, wielding, you know what.

Now, in 1990, he has, he suspects, His last chance to try to save her instead of watching her get clubbed over and over again down through the years. Oh, and he becomes a rock star in the process. Thank you, Shannon, who wrote that for us. That's it. It really is the movie.

I mean, I just like the phrasing on most of that. Oh, yeah. Oh, and he becomes a rock star, by the way. Which is pretty much the entire bulk of this movie. Let's see.

Before we get into it, it is time for our return to... Once again, we delve into the vaults of an actor and find out what their thoughts were on one of these past movies. And today we go to the archives of Mr. Dean Cameron. So we'll see what Dean has to say about being in Rockula.

What do you do when you're given Rockula? Oh. You know, Rockulo was the first movie I carried, and when I moved to L.A., I wanted to be number one on the call sheet and number one on the movie poster, and Rockulo I was, and I got to sing and play guitar, and they gave me money for it. And had it been a different... You know, the studio was going under at the time, so...

Had they put money behind it, I think it could have been a bigger movie and. They marketed it right. But I'm proud of it. There's a couple scenes in it where I'm not happy with my work, but I'm happy with the movie. Once again, thank you to Dean for sharing his memories of Rockula.

And he actually has a relatively good take on it. He seemed to enjoy the process. I liked you told this earlier, but I thought it would also be a good way to intro into it We'll get to what your thoughts were on the movie, but would you tell us what your wife said about it as she. Well, my wife works from home. She was doing work in the same room that I was watching the movie.

And we get to the end of it, and she said. You. Know, she's on her computer for most of the time. And she said, I didn't even watch this movie, and I hate it. And, you know.

I think it speaks for a lot of people, actually. That's why I wanted to throw it out there. I was like, there's a big span here of how people are going to feel about this movie. I think it's definitely one of those movies that it's kind of hard to be in the middle. You're going to be on one side or the other, and she definitely fell where a lot of people probably do.

She hates most movies, so don't. You know. Oh, especially the kind of stuff we watch. Right. She asked why we watched this kind of stuff.

That was her specific words about this. Just to befuddle you, honey. Yeah. To piss you off. To just confuse you.

That's probably what the listeners are thinking, too. So, aside from why we watched it, where else would you like to go? You know, it goes back to. Because that's the entire thing of the movie, is that it's... music video kind of just one after another song, not really a musical, but it, it goes back to that thing of, I think of the eighties where someone in a movie could be, say they're in a band and the next day have gigs at big clubs and become a hit. It was like this mythos that you could become in a band and be successful.

And it's, You know, I can play music. That isn't how it works. And it just, that is what that time period was. Yeah, you could put a band together. In a montage?

It's almost like this movie was the vampire, the cheesy vampire version of Howard the Duck. Yeah, actually, I was going to make a reference to that by the end here. So yeah, I'll come back around to that. All right. Didn't mean to steal your thunder.

No, but it definitely ties in on a couple of levels. I thought for a while, when it came up on screen, and. This has nothing to do with the story of the movie, but if someone told me that there was a movie out there that Bo Diddley dressed up in spandex, yellow spandex, and rapped, I would have said, there's no way in hell. Obviously, I was wrong. If you've seen this, you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, that is awesome. You can't not think that's awesome. It's horrible, but it's awesome. I mean, in a way, that almost sums up the entire movie. Because it falls into both categories.

Yeah. I guess it takes a certain type of person to recognize the awesomeness involved. Most people will very freely see the horrible end of it, but again, I think it depends on where your taste lies, and I don't know. I think it very heavily plays on, and this is something that over the years has become a thing, and I've seen a lot of movies do this. It's one of those, like, I can almost see somebody going, this is going to be the next Rocky Horror movie.

And that movie has gotten... In recent years, it seems like I've heard a lot more people kind of hate on that one. I mean, Rocky has its core group, but as time's going on, I think the novelty's worn off, and a lot of people are just like, oh, fuck that movie, I hate that. And I think sometimes more so because the fans are really obnoxious. And I was one, so I can make fun of you, and I still kind of am one, but I just don't make it out to see it anymore.

But I certainly did my time in the theater, but I don't think I ever fell into that category of of the hardcore fans that were around me. I was there every week with them, but I didn't fit, as most places in my life. I didn't fit in there either. So I understand why people are annoyed by those fans and the whole surrounding of that. And this movie feels like it could have very easily been somebody greenlighting it somewhere up the line.

They didn't throw a ton of money at it, but they were just enough to be like, this could catch on in its own weird little underground way. It's got just enough weird kitschiness to it that it's like if the right crowd finds it they would fall in love with it they'll go see it every week whereas the rest of the people are going to be like what the hell is this. Not necessarily every week but I'm surprised it's not at the Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, or Little Shop of Horrors. No one's really heard of this movie. Yeah.

I mean, recently it's sort of got a resurgence, and I've heard a lot of other shows mention it, but yeah, for a good long span of time there, it just... disappeared off the radar and nobody you know thought about it again. So it's almost not bad enough you know be that right it skates the line it's like there's times when it it is kind of genius in how cheesy it is right and then there's other times when it's just kind of a mediocre 80s movie right right. It goes back and forth but i don't know i i could see a theater full of goofy cult fans watching the rapula scene and just having a ball with it and. It's funny it took me like this time i mean i've seen that scene a few times and i just went oh that's terrible i mean please stop And it's funny, it took me this time to be like, that's almost one of the moments that's kind of genius because they realize how bad it is.

I mean, he's wearing like a spandex jumpsuit with like tiny whities over top of it. And he's wearing like sprayed gold records around his neck. I mean, it's ridiculous. It's massively over the top. He knows how stupid...

He's being in the process, so it's, like, on that level. Like, if it was just bad and they were unaware of it, I guess that's enjoyable in its own way, too. But this one, I mean, you can't just, like, oh, God, they're terrible. It's, like, they knew in 19... Well, that's a whole other thing.

We'll claim 1990 they knew how bad it. Was, but. I mean, it's, yeah, it knows what it is at moments and it kind of revels in that. And then there are other times when I don't, again, I think people just weren't putting enough care in the middle portions. But, I mean, there are those moments that I'm like, this is epic bad.

This is like bad, kind of genius bad of how cheesy and ridiculous and over the top and like lavishly produced some of this ridiculous stuff is. Well, it almost is. There almost isn't enough story there for the film because. It's almost like a sitcom plot line. It's got about a half hour worth of plot, and then they just fill it in with a lot of songs.

A lot of songs. Yeah, it's... What is it? It comes in under 90 minutes. I think so.

And you still have... 12 songs probably in the film. So at least seven or eight full length. I mean, you get a few other little pieces here and there, but I mean, there's, there's several times where it just stops and you get music video sometimes literally as you find out or full on performance and at the club or what, I mean, it really does just stop and become, you know, Okay, here's the song. And, you know, that's a good portion of the movie, actually.

Oh, God, Mona. Why don't you watch where you're going? I could have. How did you know my name? I don't know your name.

You don't know my name. Just pretend this never happened, okay? This never would have happened if you hadn't jumped out in front of my car. I hope for your sake my gear isn't trashed. Just forget you ever saw me, okay?

Because the next thing you know. We're going to go out on a date, we're going to fall in love, and then some crazy pirate's going to peg you with a ham bone. Where do you want to go next? Well, I mean, I'll go back to what I was just saying a minute ago and what Dean brought up earlier. It had. problems getting out.

I mean, it was actually from what I heard shot in like 88 and didn't surface until 90. So that's also kind of part of like it missing its window. Like, I mean, number one, like you were saying, just bad marketing, like that the studio didn't get behind it, which granted it is a hard sell, I'd say, but still, I mean, you, if you marketed it right, you could find at least a core group of kids that would probably run out and see it just for the, you know, goofy stuff going on or the people involved. But yeah, They obviously didn't do that, but also somewhere along the way, it got lost in the cracks where one studio was getting bought out or something like that and changing hands. And somewhere along the way, this thing got lost.

And in that couple of years, it also kind of loses something. I mean, it is a very 80s movie. So it's funny when you look at it and go, this came out in 90s. I was thinking it seemed like an 80s movie. Yeah, and it technically is.

It looks like an 80s movie. It's shot as an 80s movie. It's an 80s movie that didn't make its way out until the 90s. So, I mean, yeah, I think that also helps it feel a little out of place. You know, it definitely feels more so now, but now I guess you even get a little cheesy nostalgia out of it.

The whole thing's kind of out of place because it has blues and it has... you know, 80s pop, and it has, like I said, rap, and it's just kind of a hodgepodge of everything. And that time period was kind of like that anyway. Yeah, the 80s definitely. You've had the dying out of some styles of rock and the emergence of others. Like the one when they're doing the montage, and there's, you know, the rockers that are on the street that he goes and talks to, and they have the teased hair and look like they're from...

Cinderella or something like that and the dude's got on a red hot chili pepper shirt which in 88 would have been yeah that's you're on the cusp of what's new you know and not anything of what. And nothing at all yeah. Motley Crue would look like or anything and so. I decided they looked like enough is enough there's there's an odd reference for you yeah but I was like I think some of those guys might actually be from the. Band right and so yeah it's like and and think Music and movies didn't really know what they were at that time.

And that's kind of what this was. It's just everything was thrown in. Yeah, I think that's what it is. It's like get everything that's sort of kind of popular and just throw it and see what sticks kind of idea. I mean, the 80s was really like that.

I mean, you look at music and movies and stuff. It really was just kind of like. here's a lot of stuff, and, you know, especially once they started making those cheap knockoff kind of movies and music that was tapping into those kind of markets that were just like, okay, let's just go with what's popular and get it out there. I mean, granted, they've been marketing like that, you know, for years. It's always kind of like, okay, quick, you know, jump on this little hot property and get it out there, but the 80s definitely, like, found that and went with it pretty heavy, so this falls into that category. I also wonder how they got I mean, Thomas Dolby, who might be the best part of the movie.

Or worst. I can't decide. It's like there's times when I'm like, he's really good, but he's also so annoying that it's almost too good, which makes it annoying and bad. And I really can't make up my mind how I feel about it. I don't know, the commercial?

The commercial's genius. I love those commercials. Those were awesome. Those were the moments I was just like, see, they know what they're doing at times. It's like they're really being kind of smart, and they're writing this stuff that, again, could almost just be taken out and put in something else.

It doesn't have to be in this movie. It's a clever little bit, and they worked it in. Because, I mean, other than that, does he ever– Other than those commercials, does the fact that he runs that business ever come into play? Other than the cryogenic freezing. At the very end, they need a weird tie-in.

But, I mean, really, you could have thrown that in there any number of ways. It's not like you have to be super illogical in this movie anyway. So, I mean... Well, his mother. That dance sequence was just, like, terrible.

But, again, that's another one of those that I was like, this is awesomely bad. Like, it's bad... But it's so ridiculous and, like, that's the one, like, throwing in types of music. I mean, this was sort of pre-Goth. I mean, when they work in her whole little number.

That was a pre-Goth. Goth happened in the 80s. I mean, like, pre-modern Goth. Well, I mean, of the kids that tapped into it. I mean, you didn't have that little run of kids, like, the Hot Topic kids until mid-90s.

Yeah, but, I mean, you had, like, the Cure kids and, like, all the 80s Goth. But to me, that's taking itself really seriously, where this is more of that cheesy, like, when everybody threw a goth character in. It became more of that watered-down mainstream version, which is what this little dance number is just like. It's trying to play on the horror theme, but at the same time, it's tapping into cheesy 80s music. I think it's a lot more like an Elvira kind of thing.

Kind of. More than anything. Yeah. But again, that's just a whole other type of music they threw in there. Right.

Just throwing more stuff in the middle of this. And I understood that she got her scene in the house. I don't know why she would be dancing in front of them. That's very weird. But the one when she goes to the club and they just stop the movie and her and the other guy do a little dance number at the club.

I'm like... It's almost like she was contracted to have so much dance time in the movie. She's Tony Basil. I know. Again, you get these names, you have to kind of make use of them.

I thought she was so adorable in that movie. She was just so cute. I mean, like, she was kind of annoying, but in a cute way. I mean, that's the thing. You have to look. best of your mother she was just so dramatic and it was adorable just.

The names that they brought in I mean you know and sometimes don't do anything with Bo Diddley I mean why would you buy and that was at the point where he was really popular again I mean he'd gone through that you know disappearance and nobody paid any attention to him in pop culture and then like he hit that like 80s you know Bo knows thing and like came back with a vengeance and everybody knew who he was again so if you were going to do something with him Why would it be this? And if you were going to put him in something, why would you just make him sit in the background and have almost no lines, have nothing to do except be background in most of the scenes that he's in? I'm just like, you could get anybody to do that.

Why would you get Bo Denley? And also, they never really, I mean, once or twice he sort of plucks the guitar. I'm just like, he's holding a guitar half the time. Let that dude play guitar. I'm like, why?

It's so frustrating with him. At least they make use of Tony Basil and I mean, they're sometimes in bad ways, but they at least make use of them, where he just was so wasted. It's a shame. Man, that dude sure got the blues. What's the name of the lady who is the bartender?

That's the one I was going to ask if you knew. She's Crybaby. Chuck the bartender. That's right. It's Susan Tyrell, but do you know who else she is?

I mean, I do, but I. Can't think of what it is right now. I know she's the lady in Cry Baby, and there's something else that I realized recently. That's the other big, yeah, because I'd forgotten Cry Baby, but I was sitting there going, I know I know her, and why? I feel like I discovered this recently, and now I can't think of what it is.

Yeah, she is the queen in Forbidden Zone. Yeah, that's what it is. Wow. Yeah. Which is like huge for, you know, the few geeks that love that movie and where most of us are here.

But yeah, I mean, I, it, that movie is amazing. So, and she's one of the main roles in it basically. So yeah, as soon as I saw her, that's what I was tapping into. And in a way, again, that's sort of. that crowd it's like finding that weird midnight and putting all these people putting her and tony basil and thomas dolby in a movie it's like and bo did it's like this is i mean that's definitely tapping into that weird little niche out. There that's what i'm saying it's like this movie is so everything that you know people who are fans of these weird musicals like Or, you know, it's just so many genres, like weird campy horror movies from the 80s or weird campy musicals.

You know, it's like that's what this movie is and no one knows what it is. It's just like it was just poorly marketed. Right. It's like the biggest firework you could have that you get from the store and it being a dud. Kind of.

It pays off sometimes. It's got a few sparks and stuff. Yeah. There are some duds that you're like, oh, that could have gone so much better, you know? Yeah.

Yeah, by the end, that's right. Yeah. But there's, again, there's really good reasons to watch it, too. There's some payoffs. I mean, the other movies that we've mentioned are definitely better, but it's not, like, a huge disappointment.

Like, where you're just like, this movie should be way more awesome than it is. Or like, wrist cutters, where you're like, this movie should be way more awesome than it is. I didn't feel like that at the end of this movie. I mean, it was like, it wasn't a fantastic movie, but it was good. You know, it was good enough.

I think I, and again, mostly in the last few years, like as it sort of resurfaced in at least the geek crowd that we are, I mean, it definitely got so much attention. flack it's like it got such a bad reputation right off the bat and not that it probably didn't earn one back in the day but when it resurfaced I heard so many people talk so bad about it that I went in like expecting just horrible and I'm like okay there's times when it's delivering a pretty bad movie and then like I said there's other scenes and I'm like this is kind of one of those movies that I mean there are those movies that like this is epic bad and this is kind of genius and how ridiculous it is and it's got those moments.

It's certainly not all the way through. It's not a perfect mixture, but yeah, to me, I was expecting worse going in and was kind of had fun with what was there more or less. Yeah. It's one of those that if you lower your expectations, you can have, I mean, it can, it's just fine. You know, if you know that it's a late night movie, it's, it's a good, I mean, I'm not going to say good movie.

It's a fun movie. It's a fun movie. It's funny that you said almost exactly like I found that in one of the IMDb little rundowns, somebody said, and this is their quote, watch it with low expectations and you might be entertained with an ultra cheesy movie. That's like everything we said, including the cheesy food earlier. So, yeah, I was like that.

That's kind of how you have to approach it. Normally, I think that's a cop out. Like I usually hate when people are like, oh, what were we expecting? A big, you know, Oscar. Like sometimes I'm like, well, you can make comedies and you can make like lower brow stuff that's not stupid.

You know, I mean, you can make. cheesy stuff that's not stupid. There's a way to make those as well-made movies and smart movies and still tap into the market you're going for. I think it's usually a cop-out to be like, well, just don't expect much. And so I'm like, no, I kind of want to set the bar a little higher with any movie. It's like, I kind of want them to, to strive to be a better movie.

But there are times when you can just turn that off and be like, well, Let's, you know, just enjoy what is here. And this has definitely got those moments in. You're going to have to explain to me why Tony Basil dressed up like a gypsy. The sneaky plot going on. I think that was only to confuse us.

I just, and that's the thing. There is no scene explained. Because I assumed I knew the answer all along. And I kept waiting for the scene where she then reveals this. Mm-hmm.

I thought it was her perpetuating this so that, you know, he doesn't end up with the girl and go off and leave her. I thought she's, she's a mom. She wants to, I mean, how many hundreds of years has she been playing mom to this kid? And she didn't want, and as long as this scenario keeps going, he's going to have to wait for her next time. And he's just, he's the same dorky kid.

So he's not going to go anywhere on his own. But if he falls in love with this girl, he might go off and leave her and get his own place with her. And she's, trapped by herself for all eternity. So. I think she does say that.

She said, I'm your mom and I don't want. Kind of, but I mean, usually, especially in a movie like this, you expect them to just read it out to you. Right, right. Word for word, what we were thinking in this, you know, plot. But they don't ever really do that.

They just sort of like, oh, time for the movie to be over, so hurry up and start singing. Yeah, because at the end, he's like, she's a traitor. And then she says something, I didn't catch it. I'm your mother. Whatever.

And he instantly forgives her. Yeah, I know. It was. I was like, you've been killing this girl for how many generations now? And, ah, whatever.

Yeah, I didn't get that at all. Yeah, that seemed, again, like a very. I think they're like, we're at studio time, wrap it up. Yeah, that seemed like a very convenient little plot point of, eh, whatever, just make it work. Keep it up.

I was very confused about that. I'm glad it wasn't explained because I felt really stupid for not getting it. No, they really do kind of skim over that whole little area. It's like, that's a huge part of the plot. Like, and they're just like.

Well, and even involving Thomas Dolby as the one, I mean, that's... You kind of get that, but they really don't go into it. Again, maybe this is where they needed more of all that story. It's like, one time he says, she's my ex-girlfriend, but they never really go into that. When you meet them, they're just two random people, and he's showing his commercial, and you really don't get what they are as a relationship.

And why does he even think that he has to kill her to... It doesn't make. you know yeah that doesn't make any sense that didn't work for me really because it's like well why and he also didn't seem like he was that into her like it'd be different if oh i love her i must make her mine or that would almost be motivation to go through some sort of elaborate plot and dealing with this mysterious gypsy or whatever the hell's going on right but it's like we never really got that like they didn't seem like they even liked each other most of the time Ever. Like, it's not even like it's a former thing. Like, it just seemed like they had no chemistry ever, and now, for some reason, he's going through this elaborate plot to then kill her, which makes even less sense, really.

Because, you know, what I gathered from the first of the movie, she was, like, accidentally killed. He was, like, fighting for her, and she was accidentally killed. Yeah. Then it was just like, yeah, I'm just going to cryogenically freeze her. Okay.

Because when she wakes up in a hundred years, she'll want me then. Yeah. Again, convenient plot points that make no... Let's just... Move on to the next scene.

Whatever. Just say some words here. Very strange. Oh yeah. Definitely had a lot of loose ends.

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. Well, when you have a, you know, a sword fight between a guy with a hand bone and a guy with a peg leg, a sparkly, a spark, a rhinestone, it's going to be, you know. Uh, you're dealing with a very special kind of movie.

It was poorly done. That's okay. Um, Yeah, I mean, that was, like, even, like, a bad production of a stage play. Like, most high school levels would be better this little sword play going on here. Yeah, they wrapped up that.

Whole end sequence in, like, a half a day. Yeah. They're like, okay, two takes, we're done. This, this, this. No, don't ask questions of why we're doing it.

No, no, no, no, no. Just move on. Just get to the end. Maybe that was maybe they finished the movie right when they were having problems with the studio and they were just kind of like eh fuck it let's finish it just. To finish it it might have been or it might have been they pulled the money out at that point and went well you make it work you got a day left in the studio and go down they.

Could have shot all the videos first and had everything done and then okay how are we going to do this. Because that's where most of the money looks like I mean the bigger production of everything in this is all like everything else is just him standing there you know it's like There's not anything else that's elaborate other than the dream sequences, some of which are still worked into the song. So yeah they. Could have shot all of that in one shot while they still had money to me because it just. Felt really rushed and like unfinished.

Yeah kind of where everything worked the most was when he was having conversations with himself what do you. Want come here and talk to me. How's it hanging? Is that all you wanted? To ask me how's it hanging?

Come on, Ralphie, I'm worried about you. A couple of hours, it's going to be Friday the 13th. Let me guess, you have a headache, right? Right, and a sore throat, too. And you think you're coming down with the flu or something really serious, right?

Right, I just can't go through with this again. Let me see your tongue. Come on. That doesn't look too bad. Is that in your retainer?

Yeah, it hurts like heck. I'm sorry. I know this legend thing is tough. Let's take a moment and reflect. Reflect!

Get it? Mirror, reflect! God, I killed myself! I was going to address that. I was like, what?

Again, with weird plot points. Why is a vampire who doesn't have a reflection talking to his reflection? It's a twist i. Mean it is it's clever i mean it's something i haven't seen before but at the same time it also doesn't make any sense right well i mean it would almost make more sense if he were a normal character and his reflection just started talking back to him and it's part of his weird you know brain but this makes even less sense since he is a vampire they've proven it's not Like, he just thinks he's a vampire. He is a vampire.

Right. But yet, he's talking to his reflection. And that's not even consistent in all vampire movies or mythology or whatever. A vampire can or can't have a reflection, whatever. But they made it a point for his mom to walk in front of him and be like, oh, I forgot.

Yeah. That's what I was going to say. I was like, yeah, it's not like we never saw it used at any other point. Maybe they do, but no, she's specifically like, ah, so... Well, and it could.

Be because she says that she doesn't have a reflection. Yeah. It could be that that is not the vampire part of him, but the... he's messed up in the head part of him. And it's just a manifestation because he doesn't have a reflection if he's a vampire. So it's just him, you know, messing with his brain.

Yeah. I mean, I assumed there's a part of it that's sort of his like schizophrenia of the other half of his brain. That's telling him to do all these things that are, and it's usually the, the salacious version of him, or it's the, you know, the evil quote unquote version of him. So, or maybe like, I don't know if this is a stretch, but like, Maybe in the supernatural world, vampires, since they don't have reflections, there's this weird. Other...

Schism. Other, like, supernatural being that comes and is their reflection because they don't have one. And it's just like this, like you're a team, like you're psychic. Like your reflection is your psychic. Right.

It certainly was for him. Yeah. I love how they address the sunblock. And that was it. Yeah, we're going to handle that and move on.

Well, that's what I was going to say. Like, this is so, like, let's pretend to be a horror movie, but anything horror related is so glossed over and, like. done for laughs at best if they bothered to address it. But yeah, like the mirror thing doesn't follow through with any horror. Yeah, go out in the sunlight, which again, in some versions of the story, they aren't all that. Maybe they're sensitive to light, but they won't burst into flames.

This one, they will burst into flames. Maybe he'll just sparkle. Maybe he'll sparkle. But no, he just pulls a blade and he's, yep, yep, sunblock, I'm cool. I can go stand out in the middle of the bright, shiny day and it won't hurt me a bit.

Or a. what was the oh the garlic yeah i like garlic yeah i love like again everything like that should be they're totally going against but almost not in a like defiance i'm going to change the horror genre way in a like almost in a twilight way of wait what's supposed to happen in horror oh fuck it we. Don't want to do that no i like garlic and yeah the cross the cross he's like which was sort of a funny little joke there um what else When he said, what about one of these? Have you ever seen one of these? And holds it in his face. 18th century?

That's nice. And he grabs it out of his hand. Or like the ultimate, blood. He's creeped out by blood. In a way, they're just playing with the normal horror movie themes.

But it is funny that everything across the board, anything that would make him a vampire doesn't match up in this movie at all. You know, it almost doesn't need to even be a... a Dracula at all movie at all. Yeah. I mean, it could be anything. I mean, he could be werewolf rockstar, you know, he could be like anything really.

I mean, it could, how long after Teen Wolf did this? Teen Wolf's pretty, it's like 86. Well, I think it's another one of those that got made earlier. Cause I think that was made before back to the future and then sat on the shelf till, Oh my God, this guy's a, you know, multi-million dollar movie star and, And then they put it out. So I think it was released 86, but if I remember it was shot well before Back to the Future was made.

But do you think they said, let's do a Teen Wolf? Kind of. And we'll make, instead of basketball, it's Rockstar. And instead of, you know. That could have been part of the marketing.

Where Wolf is Vampire. But Teen Wolf has no song. So they're like, well, let's tap into this. You know, these big musical things have a weird following. Let's get in there.

They do have a lot of basketball, so. I mean, that's more a basketball movie than it is a werewolf movie. It really is, actually. It's a very basketball-heavy movie. And you're like, I hate basketball.

Let's turn this off. I love werewolves, but I hate basketball. It's all about style. What was the other one? A wrestling movie or something like that?

Yeah, I think he's like a wrestler. Team Wolf 2. Oh, I didn't even know there was a movie. Jason Bateman. Jason Bateman.

Yeah. Wow. That's a bad one. I'm going to have to watch that. I wonder if it's on Netflix.

I mean, the first one's bad, but I like it. Right. The second one's just, yeah, didn't need to be made. Oh, Jason Bateman. Oh, man.

What did Jason Bateman start in? What was it? Silver Spoons. He was a jackass on Silver Spoons. And then he had the one show with...

He was the older brother. What was that? Well, take your pick. It started off as Valerie. That's right.

And then what do you do when you have a show built around a main character and the character leaves? Sandy Duncan comes in with her wife. Yeah, then it becomes basically two and a half men at this point. It's like, oh, well, we need something to keep this damn thing going. So, yeah, then it became Valerie's family for a season or so.

And then eventually once everybody forgot Valerie was ever on there, it was the Hogan family. You know, that was the same house as that one Brady kind of movie or show that Suzanne. Somers was in. Oh, the Step by Step? Step by Step.

It was the exact same house. It's sad that I know it because I hated that damn show. I loved Step by Step, but I was like eight. Yeah, it was terrible. Well, picture that house with Jason Bateman in it.

That's what that show was. I always like when you notice that they've reused a house. I love that. I'm like, oh my god, it's the Brady house or something. I don't know.

No, you couldn't redo the Brady house. No, it was so iconic and so 70s. Yeah, weird. It didn't match any other sitcom. He was an architect.

Yeah, I know. That's why they could do that. They had license then. Alright, we veer away from vampires. Anyway, where it started though was I really did, I think he played well with himself that sounds.

Really gross okay kids it's not that kind of movie although there is one reference to him whipping it out yeah in the fun mirror yeah that was that was a low that was a low I was just like well you know you would probably have to check just out of general curiosity but I thought those were some of the more entertaining interactions in the movie with him with Talking to himself. Yeah. His other self was hilarious. And a jerk. And a jerk.

And a jerk. Yeah, pretty much. Smooth. No, but then when he breaks out of the wall and into the. It's like Nicolas Cage in an Elvis costume is what he's playing.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's not an Elvis impersonation. It's Nicolas Cage impersonating Elvis. Sadly, yeah.

I don't know who the three ladies were supposed to be that came with him. I'm not sure if it was the Pointer Sisters or En Vogue, but it was one of the two. And, yeah, that part was pretty bad. That song. It was like the second Rockula song.

If you don't count Rapula, because then there's three. Right. No, Rapula is in a class of... It's its own category. Yeah, above all the rest.

Oh, man. Do we want to address the individual songs? I mean... I can't even remember. Other than, like, I'm not the DJ, I'm the vampire.

It's, again. That was awesome. I mean, it's terrible, but by, like, that third or fourth time, I'm like... With the exception of the weird little voice that he keeps talking to, but I'm like, some of the other stuff is so bad... That is kind of hilarious.

I know. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Life is so bad that it's good. The bat rockula guitar was pretty cool. That's true.

The bat signal looking bat. That was pretty awesome. The letters on the outfit, not so awesome. It just looked bad when he tried. And he only did it like one time.

I'm like, is that worth sewing all those letters on that outfit? That looked ridiculous. Homemade. Yeah, it did. Again, that was probably after they pulled the budget out from under this movie.

Oh, I don't know. I mean, they. Again, you have Bo Diddley in the background. Not doing anything. Performing, but not playing the guitar.

Right. It's so damn frustrating. Mm-hmm. I mean, most of them fall into that category of just cheesy and for the sake of this movie. I mean, half of them use rockula or vampire terms in the middle of everything.

So, I mean, you can't do anything. There's one or two, like the cheesy one with the two of them, the little romance song. Yeah, the music video. That was probably the better. I mean, that was almost, you could almost pull that out and use it as like a cheesy romance song.

It was like, if there was one that was more acceptable as a song.... And her performance, the one where she's... I was not big on her. No, it wasn't. Her voice was terrible.

Can I just say her voice was terrible? But it's funny how timely, like it really... And again, it's almost very specific. Like as she was performing, I'm like... I was trying to decide who they were tapping into.

I got a very Sheena Easton vibe. Exactly. I even said that out loud watching it. I was like... I mean, there's a lot of ways you could go further down the line.

But like at that point... I was getting a heavy sheen at this time. With the bars and the. You know who I really loved in that movie? Her little friend with the glasses.

I was going to bring her up. Oh, I fell in love with her the second I saw her. She was so cute. I was like, once again, back to the, like, most of these kind of movies, it's like the main girl, like, eh, she's all right. But her dorky friend, it was like Last American Virgin.

I was like, the dorky friend's always kind of a little cooler in my mind. Yeah. And she was very dorky, except for the song that she did. Was scary. Yeah, it was pretty bad.

I was happy that they cut that off. She is, what, Nancy Ferguson? Has she ever been in anything else? Ever? Not that you could tell with the black hair and glasses.

Yeah, no, I'm sure that was so heavily different than what she probably really looks like. She barely had any lines. Yeah, she just sort of was there to be the sidekick and play with all the equipment. She was the one actually making all the music, so it seemed and The Wizard of Speed and Time, which I assumed I was the only one who's ever seen that. Yeah, I've never seen that.

Yeah, it's really bad. She was on Veronica's Closet. Wow, Veronica's Closet. That was the Kirstie Alley and Kathy Najimy TV show. Unfortunately.

Mystery Men. Again, she's a singer in Mystery Men. So she didn't have a part in it. None of these are big, yeah. I mean, even like Permanent Midnight's actually a good movie, but she's Nurse.

So, I mean, she's always kind of a little side character. As soon as you said Mystery Men, I thought, well, maybe she's in that segment where they introduce all the homemade superheroes that are trying out. That's about my favorite part of that movie. The knockoff Janine Garofalo, because she was kind of tapping into that, too. I was like, yeah, I was on board for Janine.

Mystery Man is a lot better movie than people get credit for, by the way. I could laugh at that movie watching it again right now. I haven't ever seen it. Pee Wee Herman is... It's got its moments.

It just seems like it's... To me, it was so uneven at the time. But yeah, well... We'll go back into that some other time. And Hank Azaria.

He is pretty funny, but he's always funny. Yeah, just to watch it for those two is worth it. Ben Stiller before he was Ben Stiller. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, back to this movie.

So, okay, let's talk about when we're in the middle of that little dream sequence song. That's sort of the introduction, and then they come back into play later. Hobo Kids. Hobo Kids. Oh, the hobo kids.

They were just dirty. What the hell is going on with those hobo kids? And then there were the backup singers. I was so confused. The three creepy girls that, yeah.

I'm like, where did all these hobos all of a sudden come from? Well, yeah, I don't know what the storyline in this music video was because it made no damn sense. The sad part is there is the, and you'll see them in the credits, they're credited as the visiting kids. I don't know that they were. And this is completely unconfirmed.

It was from some random thing I read on the website, which even in that they said was unconfirmed. But it was supposedly rumored that they were all Devo Kids. They were all kids of some members of Devo. And I don't know if then they were supposed to be a band. I mean, they never really did anything.

Well, that song that she does is kind of... Which, again, tapping to another 80s music reference that is thrown in the middle of this. I mean, there's moments that have got little Devo touches to it in this thing. Yeah, that very possibly. Could be.

Yeah. But yeah, I thought that was the visiting kids. I don't know, some weird kids group that never happened, never quite materialized the way they wanted it to. But yeah, those creepy hobo kids. I don't know what the hell was going on there.

And then the one hobo that they both came up to... like next to the fire, you know, the 55-gallon drum fire thing. And he just looked like he was pissed off and like, get away from me. He was probably a real hobo. It just showed up with a camera. He was an extra.

It was like, I can't believe I'm an extra in this video. At the end of that video when Thomas Doley's character is playing his new commercial, what gets her so upset? I. All of a sudden she made him turn it off and got very upset and they left and he's asking her, are you okay? Did you catch that?

Yeah, I remember that. And she's like, this is about me and it's my night and it's my video. And she just, she gets very upset. Yeah. And you, they almost act as like she's hurt by something and I didn't catch.

Again, that's part of this whole like, no story at all. Right. Like, it's missing these big chunks of, like, what was up with that relationship, because none of it made any sense. Right. It's like, nothing between the two of them fit, really.

I don't know. He could have been so much more out there as a character. Yeah. It would have made more sense. Or just, yeah, given him more to be, really.

Because, I mean, he's just sort of there. They ran out of time. Too much music. I suppose so. I guess.

Which, again. why didn't he have more science? Thomas Dolby, for God's sake. It's like, why didn't he do a couple of big numbers? Or at least when he's just explaining his cryogenics, didn't he say science? That would have been awesome.

And again, it seems like a very cheesy joke that they would have done in this movie. I kept expecting it. I was like, oh, they're going to do it. They're going to do it. They're going to do it.

Yeah, we don't get it. Just like Bo Diddley never plays his guitar? No, I mean, yeah. They missed so many opportunities here. There are those moments that are, like, so odd that, again, that's those, like, once we get into the scene with Mom sort of gothy rapping or whatever the hell she's doing, when we enter into Boom Boom... that your bald-headed guy in a sequins sleeveless shirt and a kilt that guy is like again that's one of those moments i'm like okay this isn't by accident i mean the stuff going on in this scene right now is very deliberate right i don't know that it makes sense to anybody but i mean it's all purposefully put there right and him yeah just like that's just so weird and he is yeah he's He was like a wrestler.

He's the main guy. He arm wrestles it over the top. That's right. That guy turns up in a ton of stuff back. In the day.

But yeah, that was just such a weird scene. It's almost like somebody promised a bunch of people, I'll put you in a movie. And you're like, fuck, what do I do now? Well, will you wear a kilt and a see-through shirt and then a frilly. what do you call them uh what did he have i can't even remember he had on one of those uh. An apron a frilly like chick's apron smoking a cigar and then to in order to work in that he's going to scratch the record he had to bump the record player well you know and then while he's fixing it he's scratching it but he's lifting the needle.

Doing it i mean It's the 80s. You had to have some scratch in you. I thought he was like a wrestler or something like that. Oh, he was. That was one of his many endeavors in this life.

Well, the other of random people. Oh, we got to get you in a movie. Tony Cox. That's right. All of a sudden, in the middle of a bathtub scene.

Does he ever age? I don't think so. But he looked the old Ben. I was like, that was 88, but he looks exactly the same as like in. Bad Santa.

Bad Santa, yeah. It's like he looks exactly the same. Oh yeah, I forgot about him. Yeah, he looks exactly the same age. I'm like, well, he's not getting any older, but at the same time, he started out like 40.

Right. I'm not sure which is worse. Oh, man. I don't know. I mean, there's just those weird... surreal moments you get the dream sequences you get like her on the plank walking the plank on this pirate ship with stuffed animals filing off in front of what what the hell is going on like there's some weird moments that are just like Again, you give them credit for being imaginative and bothering to put together this whole elaborate dream sequence, but in the end, it's like, I'm not sure that it's for anything other than them being kind of weird.

They could have skipped that dream sequence stuff and actually, instead of telling you what happened in the 17th century or whatever, show it to you yeah get a few costumes show it happening they had a pirate ship they had pirate costumes just do it and you wouldn't have to spend five minutes explaining. It in the bar Or take all that out and instead invest that time into actual development of characters and write a few scenes of dialogue so that things make sense again. But, again, we're striving a little above and beyond where they were going on this one. Why 22 years? And why, when he goes into the math of it's been 400 years, which puts.

It at 14.5 times. I'm like, how can you do this 14.5 times? Half a girl. It doesn't... You know, even by your own math, this shouldn't be happening now.

One of the times she was born quadriplegic. What? It's half a girl. But I mean, it was 88. Just doing the math.

Is the math better? I don't know. 88? I don't know. I don't know.

When did they say it started? I don't know. He said 400 years, and then he said 22... times or every 22 years it happens which puts it at exactly 14.5 times like don't don't put the. 5 in there and then he goes this has happened to me 14 or 15. Times like.

Dude, if a girl died that you were in love with, you'd know it was 15 times, not half of it. Or, well, I mean, and you're wondering why the 22 years, so she gets hot. Right. You don't want her to not get, you know. So she gets legal.

Yeah, you want her to be legal, you want her to be hot, you don't want her to be old. You know, you've got to hit right in the middle there. So it conveniently, 22 years. 22, it was great age. Mm-hmm, there you go.

I went bye to that a long time ago. Whatever, old mate. Oh, I don't know. But I mean, there's times when it is, again, when it hits moments where I'm like, somebody kind of did something clever or knew what they were doing. The shot when he's coming down the hallway to go on stage is... is really well done and all talking to him yeah it's and they were they returned to it at the end there but that first shot is like it's really well shot the way it's coming down the hallway it's got all these people set up and coming into frame and these weird characters and they're all just rattling off their line and he keeps going and just the way that that's put together is actually really well done and again it's sometimes these things seem out of place in this movie but Just like every once in a while, I'll look at that moment where I'm like, see, that was good.

Like, if the whole movie had that much time and care put into it, it's like, this really could be that, you know, genius, crazy, you know, ridiculous, you know, cult film that it never quite lives up to, really. Yeah, that's almost, that scene of them going, reminds me of, like, Spinal Tap or something like that. The dude, can you move your gear? Yeah. Yeah, it's a, that was a good scene.

And they had a little callback to it later on, even. Yeah. With the Pointer Sisters or Envogue or whoever that was. Envogue had one extra, especially at that point in time. Right.

Eventually, they dropped one. Pointer Sisters would have been too old. Pointer Sisters. But it was, I guess, a better reference. Right.

They were the go-to trio of women at that point. I guess. And they're matching, but not matching outfits. Yeah. Right.

As long as they're sort of sparkly in the same way, then. No, they all had the same print, but they were different cuts. Different cuts. They all had the same. But they always, yeah, the Poynter sisters used to do that.

I know that point is houndstooth, but my friend Andrew has referred to it as joust for so long. I don't know why it's like, I've got these pants that have joust print on them. And I'm like, what is joust print? Do you ride ostriches when wearing this? Man, I can play some joust.

We all establish that. And you can tell us about playing some joust from what I hear. But now every time I see a houndstooth pattern, I think, oh, joust print. I'm going to forever refer. To it as joust print.

Wow. So, I don't know. Is there anything else we haven't covered in this? We've certainly gone to town on Rockula. I still enjoyed it.

Yeah, I liked it. There's just a lot of people that aren't going to enjoy it. Yeah, yeah. And again, if there's anything that carries it, I mean, as he said, this is his first lead role. I mean, Dean is so likable that, I mean, it's a shame he never really found aside from Chainsaw, it's like he never got a signature role that really carried him.

You know, it's like he ended up doing a couple of leads and then getting a few more character roles. And then as time went on, I think even he saw it, okay, it's not going to work. And like he said, you know, he's, he's retired more or less from acting at this point. Cause he knows he missed that window. And it's like, this was the era when he could have caught on and could have been like the funny leading man of, of that, you know, time period.

And, To me, I think he's charismatic enough. I mean, he's definitely funny enough. It's like I don't know what it was missing because I don't know. I mean, he is– I. Think there were just too many others at the time.

Maybe so. But, I mean, he could have been like the John Cusack and broke out and gone on and gotten big roles. But he– I mean, because that's pretty much around the same time, a little earlier. But, I mean, he was doing that same kind of thing of like his first few movies of him being a lead. he was kind of silly and he's doing this kind of comedy. And like, he broke out and became like a big leading man.

So I think like there was just, there was already a Michael J. Fox. There was already a John Cusack. You know, there was, there were a lot of leading men at that time. A lot of leading, funny, quirky teen movie guys going on to more serious roles.

But yeah, he definitely has the ability and definitely had, I mean, almost everything I've ever, well, everything I've ever seen him in, even the, what's the, the. Beach, Oh, Miracle Beach. Miracle Beach, even in that. His least favorite movie. Yeah, he's still.

He's funny. He's likable and funny. Everything else sucks about that movie. Well, both of them mean she's likable and funny. Between the two of them, you could have had a really fun little romantic comedy, and instead that movie's kind of terrible, but it's all the rest of the stuff that comes into play.

I mean, it just proves he can carry a movie... It's just they never really gave him that movie. I mean, his biggest moment is really Chainsaw. And he's not even lead. I mean, he steals the show.

But one of the best parts of that movie. He's definitely, yeah, one of the best parts of that movie. But, I mean, he's not at all the main character in that. So, I mean, he never really got that moment of just carrying a movie. I don't know.

Did he happen to. Tell you what he does for a living nowadays? Someone's kind of wondered that. Like, what do you... What do people do after they're, like, kind of famous actors and then they're not?

Well, I mean, now, as he says, he's playing guitar and singing. I mean, he has a band. I mean, he. Well, that will make you, like, $ 20 a month, so. Well, I mean, he has.

I'm sure he gets royalties. He's also, yeah, he's written... Well, he's also written a song that somebody else covered and he gets... I think he's getting royalties from that now because they're... What is that cheesy metal, like, super metal wannabe band that started a couple years ago with giant hair that, like...

What the hell was that thing called? Darkness? Yeah, I think it was. Oh, really? It was them or wasn't there another one that was kind of a knockoff of them that was even more ridiculous than Darkness?

What was the one with the giant hair? There was like a joke version of it. Darkness was kind of a joke. Yeah, but he wasn't like, he was just, the singing was the joke in that one. Like what era of metal.

Like, giant hair. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about. They just were, like, a couple of years ago.

They had, like, a... And they were all video-based, but... He's... I mean, he has written songs that other people have covered. He's in that...

As he mentioned back when we talked to him months ago, it's like he's in, like, almost like a... a live karaoke band. Like you go, like they know like 500 songs or whatever, you know, number he said. And like you go and pick from that. And instead of playing to a cheesy background, you play to a live band and sing to it. So he does that kind of stuff.

And it's just him having fun with his friends on the weekend. He wrote, he may have written a lot of stuff. He wrote a lot of the stuff in this movie. And that's one of those things where you never know what some guys bring it in for royalties. And yeah, Yeah, and what catches on, and some of that stuff could have led him to other things.

Who knows? But yeah, I think now he does that kind of stuff, and he did that really cool stage play idea. It was almost performance art stage play, and then raising a kid. Obviously, he did well enough with these projects in the 80s and 90s that He doesn't have to worry too much. He's doing more than I'm doing.

He's doing more than I'm doing, so I'm not going to knock him. I always think about that. These people at conventions that are just mainly doing the conventions, it's like, if that's not enough money, what do they do? Do you think they do data entry for a big company? What do you do with your life after you're not an actor anymore?

I don't know. Some of those conventions, they... Some of them ride that. You see it every time. You're like, hey.

He's not one of those because he rarely had done it. I think that was actually one of the first ones he had done ever, I think. But, yeah, some of them really that becomes their job is just to go around and be that person. Well, I mean, of course, like Bill mosley and said hey that's like that's their job. Occasionally they make movies but for the most part their money is made on the convention.

Circuit hotter and stuff like that that's what they do of course because they're doing that constantly but you know like other people i don't i don't mean like convention circuit actors i just mean like. Just people that were big. Regular actors who were big and now they're not. Some of them really do get, you know, regular jobs. You see, I'm like, they're your real estate agent now.

You know, like I saw on this, like, where are they now thing. That's why I love that Sean VH1, where are they now? But, like, Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, he's like a veterinarian. Yeah. You know?

Sometimes it was just a phase you went through and you go get a job. Like Danica Patrick became, like, a math teacher. Or not Danica. Danica. Danica.

What the fuck is that chick's name? I think it's Danica. It's Danica, but Patrick's the gray sky. Yeah, Danica McKellen. Yeah, McKellen.

Something like that. McKeller? McKellen? We're sucking at being geeks right now. Are you talking about Winnie?

Yeah. Just call her Winnie. That's all I've ever called her. Winnie. Winnie's a math nerd.

We know. Yeah, I know. I saw her book at the thrift store the other day. I almost got it from Brian, but I didn't. I didn't know if you'd really want it.

Hot chicks writing math books. Yeah. Again, I don't know that I was as into her back in the day. I think it's kind of cooler now that she's a math nerd, actually. Which is like, that's sort of awesome.

Yeah. So yeah, you never know where it's going to go once you get out of the quote-unquote big famous Hollywood scene. Sometimes you just end up having a regular life and probably enjoy that even more. You know, speaking of her winning, I remember, I think I watched The Wonder Years every night when I was little because it came on Nick at night. And I remember being bored but still liking it.

Well, it could be worse. Greg was scarred by it. No, I became uncomfortable so many times where he would be in a situation that. You know, I was the same age as he was when that was being shown on television. And it just...

I could. internalize it too much and I would change the channel because I would be like you can't this can't happen this can't happen change the channel and like okay that's done and then I'd go back and I'd get more and I'd get more uncomfortable and so yeah I. Was it's too close to home I. Was a loser I can't do it. And you still like. Winnie so yeah I don't know if I would like her but it's definitely hot that she writes.

Math books so that was way cooler to find that out over the years so All right. Anything else on Rockula? Nope. I think it'd be more fun in a group. Probably.

Again, I think you've just got to be the right person. Yeah. You know, it's like, it's got to fall on your, where, yeah, where you find things entertaining, what you're amused by. It's like, it's definitely got moments that are funny, but it's not going to hit everybody. Again, like we said, I mean, comedy is pretty hit and miss.

So it's like, This even more than most is like, it also falls into that weird cult movie thing where you get it or you don't. And if you don't get this, you're just going to think it's really stupid. I don't see why it's not a cult movie. There are so many bad cult movies. This one seems like, you know, everything from like when he's walking down the street in a rainstorm and he says, it's raining cats and dogs.

Oops, I just stepped in a poodle. That's exactly what cult movies do. they key off on it. That was so terrible. And they say those lines as they watch it because they know it's so bad. It was really bad.

I mean, I like the opening, the, the cartoons. That, that's what I was going to say. Yeah. I specifically wrote down, I was like, this is one of the best opening sequences. And, and I like those cheesy, I mean, they, the 80s was populated with those animated opening sequences.

And I always liked those anyway, but like, this is like, again, cause I like horror more than even the other stuff. It's like, The horror version of those cheesy animated opening sequences. I mean, this, yeah, the opening sequence is awesome. That one really sets up the movie. It does.

You're like, oh, this is going to be good. Yeah, right into it, I was like, this is at least, it sets the tone for what you're getting yourself into. It kind of, you know, it almost should have been as solid as the opening sequence, because the opening sequence stays pretty damn fun the whole way through. But, yeah, I mean, it's hit and miss. It's not as bad as I went in expecting, but...

It's certainly not for everyone. Yeah. It's a name like broccoli, though. I mean, really. How much do you expect?

You should have known going in. Is it banana split. Time? So as your dessert, did you come up with a tie-in. For banana splits?

No, no tie-in. All right, well. Banana split time! All right, then we will take a break, and we will have our banana splits, and we'll come back and wrap up the show. Nice.

Where you can. Say that the night belongs to no. One And you can pray that the night will soon be over. As the shadows fall And the daylight slips away To the night, the night that lasts forever The night that is your friend A friend of pain and. Pleasure Hungry, but the ordinary things don't seem to appeal?

Then try one of our frozen delicacies. They're taste treats that hit the spot, refreshing and cooling without being too filling, satisfying without being too rich. Give yourself and the whole gang a taste dividend. Select the frozen treat that pleases you. If you're enjoying this podcast, perhaps you'd be interested in GleeCast.

You watch your tone, young lady. Hey, we're not forcing you to download the internet's best, or at least most booze-filled podcast about Glee. You want to be me. Who doesn't, Sue? But we know we can't be.

Instead, Erica and Emily. Uh, Emily and Erica. Who am I? I just don't know anymore. I'd love to stay in chat, but I got a satellite interview.

Sorry, we get off topic a lot. The point is, listen to Glee Cast following every new episode of Glee. Plus our sporadic bonus content on some of the greatest bad cinema that incorporates musical theater or sweet dance moves. I'm going to ask you to smell your armpits. The right or the left?

I don't know. That's the smell of failure. Failure smells like dove? Mine has a pleasant lady speed stick scent. Kind of makes me think of candy canes.

Your resentment is delicious. Visit gleecast.podomatic.com or search for us in the iTunes store. That's Glee Cast with a K, part of the palaver.com family. That's P-A-L-A-V-R dot com. Boy, the only thing missing from this place is a couple dozen bodies limed and rotting in shallow graves under the floorboards.

We're working on that. You're listening. Are you listening to Movie Meltdown? I'm Amanda Burse. I hope so.

Love and marriage, love and marriage. It's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles. Are answered in the movies.

And now, on with the show. Chicken! Whoa, that was loud. What a weird guy. There was this girl named Mina.

She wanted my wiener. She was singing back and forth, Ike and Tina. I liked her bangs. She liked my fangs. So we decided to do the Crazy Rapula thing.

Now, her father didn't like it, so he called me a pick. I said, Dr. Van, it helps to hear something you'll dig. We can sing Kumbaya around the campfire. Are you the DJ?

No, I'm the band. No, what was the dude that she dropped her suitcase in the street? And he took something. Out of a suitcase? What the hell was that?

And who was that guy? He sounded like Pee Wee Ruben. Well, but I looked at him and I was like, that's not him. It's not Paul Reubens even doing a character. It's some other weird looking dude.

And yeah, he stops. He delivers this very cheesy line. And over the top version. I mean, it's not even like the line is cheesy. His performance is very character driven.

It's like he came up with this wacky character and he's going to get his one line in, damn it. and then steals something and then moves on. Never mention it at all. That's a lot of ice cream. I don't think I'm going. To be able to eat all this.

But there's a banana on it, so it's healthy. Well, there's fruit. Look, there's pineapple and cherries and bananas and strawberries and pecans. I went to the library this morning and got some ice cream recipe books, but. My best.

Ice creams are the custard-based ones, and this is just, like, this is, like, so easy, I couldn't even believe it was, like, gonna work. Because it was just, like, four cups of. We're doing an ice cream podcast right now, and we're talking about different brands. Yeah. Flavors.

Well, you know what kind of ice cream I always appreciated. Sad is that there's podcasts out there exactly like this. I'm sure it does. While we eat ice cream, we're going to talk about different ice creams. You ought to put it out as a little extra episode.

The ice cream special. Dude, we should just have that every week. Hi, welcome to the ice cream social. This week we're having homemade vanilla with bananas. It would be more popular than doing Meltdown in one episode.

Bastards. Back from our little ice cream social. That's what we decided it was. The ice cream podcast. No, wait.

I like that you came up with a reason why the ice cream fit. Now go ahead and explain how it ties into today's movie. Well, we had. Marlena brought everything from her refrigerator. There was pineapple and peanut butter and...

Cherries. Cherries. Strawberry jam. Marshmallow fluff. Chocolate syrup.

And I said, it's like they take everything good... And just throw it in the pile and see what happens. Make it, see if it's good. And that's Rock Hill. That's Rock Hill.

Except, I don't know if it ever turned out quite. Bo Diddley with the spandex. Yeah, you get odd things like that. If we really would have thrown, you know, the, you know, snap peas and carrots in that you would. He's like, what else did you bring with you?

God, if you really would have thrown everything in your refrigerator, it would have been probably a little closer to Dracula. Mushrooms, I'll do it. That was delicious. You would have hit that one bite of like, what is this, beets? What the fuck?

You know, you laugh, but for breakfast I drank this juice. It was like called super juice or something. Superfood? Superfood. It was like green and it tasted really good, but it had like wheat.

Germ and other spirits. And stuff in it. And I was like, it's so ugly, but it tastes so good. I'm not sold on that. I've seen that, and I'm just kind of creeped out by it.

It looks like hippie juice to me. It is hippie juice, but someone goaded me into drinking it, and it was delicious. It was better carrot juice. Yeah, I don't bet either. I mean, I figured go with the one that's probably going to taste like fruit.

I guess. It was really good. Yeah. All right, well, we are back, and we've got feedback. Now, we've actually got quite a bit, but of the weirder ones, I was trying to wait until we had the whole, you know, core group of geeks together, and that never happens anymore.

So there's still a couple of, like, epically ridiculous. Are they from Randy? No, none of this is from Randy, actually. Try to control yourself. So, yeah, these are actually from many other people's.

The other ones, I just, yeah, I feel like they should, like, be there for those. So I'm going to try to hang on until whenever we can all get together. But, you know, if you've sent one in, all but, okay, there was one that got lost. But I'm even going to try to describe that one later because I don't know what the hell happened. But now there's a new setup where they shouldn't. be getting lost anymore the thing that the company should have been the way that I should have been able to get to my messages for the last year that I haven't been able to is finally fixed now due to that one getting deleted so yeah somewhere along the way we lost one but again I heard it so I'm going to try to recreate it somewhere down the line when we do the other weird ones but this one we had one that I did want to pass.

Along could you reenact it in an Isabella Rossellini. Accent oh god I'll try to work on that between now and then. Will you dress up like a field mouse? In the meantime, we'll just listen to Metal Mikey. Howdy, Movie Meltdown crew.

Long time, no talk, at least for some of you. Because, you know, I was amongst you in person in Indianapolis. And I still have my much-treasured picture of Marlena and Misty on my cell phone. This would happen to be Metal Mikey of the Action Attraction Podcast. And finally, finally, I sat down and I said, no, I've got to leave feedback to Movie Meltdown.

I just can't leave them in the dark any longer. So this is sort of like for your kind of varied subject episode, also known as the Pee-Wee's Big Adventure episode, I guess. And. You did say that the showing opened up with a screening of Ernest Goes to Jail. I'm going to go so far as to say, hands down, the best Ernest movie out of the entire cycle is Ernest Saves Christmas.

To me, that one always holds a special, dear place in my heart. And I'm not sure if it's any good. I haven't seen it in a few years. But I just get this impression that out of all the ones that were released, that was probably my favorite. And I must thank your show.

Because it solved the mystery that I wasn't quite getting the answers to, and now I have the answers. Thank you for explaining to me what dad jeans were all about. I never even knew up to this point what exactly dad jeans were, except it's a term that's being thrown around and bandied about. And Pee Wee's Big Adventure, as for that movie itself, it does have one of the greatest cinematic moments that an 80s metalhead like myself could aspire to, which is one of the most inspired cameos by Twisted Sister in a motion picture ever. And the topic of Terminator as a franchise was brought up, and the possibility of a Terminator 5.

Well, yeah. Well, let's see first if that happens after Arnie's made a few more love childs. Oh, or children. Oh, did I say that? Whoops.

Well, I did say that because I fucked up the grammar completely, but oh well. As for Terminator 3 as part of the franchise, well... Yeah, you are right that it is basically a redo of Part 2, but I didn't hate it. I strangely found myself liking Part 3 more than I did Part 4 of the series. Not even Christian Bale could really save it for me.

But then again, I think that was kind of when Christian Bale was sort of operating on sleep mode, where it's just sort of like, well, I did so great on Dark Knight, then I'm basically going to act like Batman through every other acting role that I get. And the topic of vibrating female chests was brought up due to Marlena's magical bra storage capabilities. You know what? I think I probably have just as much luck with vibrating female chests as I do just plain out stationary breasts, which is to say I have zilch luck at all. But, you know, that's what the Internet's made for, I guess.

As always, an enjoyable listen, you all. Take it easy. And I, of course, look forward to talking to you again, hopefully sooner rather than the long-ass time it took me to actually send us. So take it easy, everybody. Talk to you later.

Bye. Oh, Mikey. Nice. See, I have this problem where people will bring up things that I said or quote me, and I'm like, what are you talking about? Luckily, we all remember the crazy shit that you say, so we're here to back up the other stories.

Greg had to just fill me in on, I'm like, vibrating chest. When was my chest vibrated? Dirty. And then you were like, oh, that day. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, my chest vibrated. We were all there for that one. I mean, yeah. I mean, I don't keep my phone between my boobs unless I'm at the gym. I mean, I just keep it at the top of my bra so I'm running my shoulders.

They don't call you Jiggles for nothing. That's right. Did you have your phone there, Jiggles? Maybe. Yeah, I think I did have it right there.

I just keep it there. Maybe you just saw that you were getting a phone call coming in. That's all. Oh, wow. So, yeah, let's see what else.

Oh, it was funny that he mentioned his photo that you guys took. And then did you see on Facebook he posted something about the photo again? And then I was like, well, he said because Misty's like half in it. No, I'm half in it. Or you're half in it.

So, yeah, I was like, well, next time we'll just have to get there early and we'll make a little run to the Sears Portrait Studio. I want to see like us and Metal Mikey standing in front of like a backdrop of a barn or a tree scenario or some sort of crazy background. I really love that, actually. Yeah. I just want those pictures like of myself.

For fun. Actually, I'm going to go home and I'm going to recreate that with my tripod and some type of weird background. I'm going to do that. Let's do a group photo at Glamour Shots. Yay!

I get the feather boa. I think that would be amazing. Yeah. We really have to do this. Somebody start sending some funding for that because I'm sure that's not going to be changed.

And the leather jacket that everyone has and they've got the collar. And it's popped. Pop the collar. Start the petition now and include a big chunk of cash with every one of them. Speaking of photo things, glamour shots, things like that.

So yesterday I was with my best friend and I was talking about Instagram, which is this really cool app on iPhone. She has an Android and she's like, Instagram's not on here, but there's this really similar program called Vignette. And I was like, oh, okay. And I just didn't think much about it. I'm like, that's a stupid name for something.

And then, you know, we were talking about it. We were like comparing. I was like, what's it called again? She's like Vignette. And I was like, how do you spell that?

She's like V-I-G-N-E-T-T-E. I said Vignette. And she's like. I don't fucking know. I don't speak French.

She's special. And then we were talking about the time my mom, I was using her computer. She's like, there's something wrong with my email. Whenever I open it up, it says it's been compromised. And I was like, What?

She's like, my email's been compromised. And I was like, compromised? She's like, whatever. People get so defensive when you correct their hilarious... Whatever, I don't speak English.

Whatever. I ain't got time for that bullshit. Just make my email work. I don't like this compound word shit. I'm all like, no, that is dumb.

Yeah. Wow. I'll promise. I'll promise. Vignette.

Vignette. I was like, I have to call it that on Facebook. She said, no, you'll make me sound like an idiot. Well, now we've passed that right along. I know.

I know. And I think. She hasn't listened to the podcast, so she'll never know that I'm totally Vignette. Until we all start using it. And I think you need to refer to it.

It should be like a derogatory. Damn, Vignette. Vignette. please everyone start using that you may very well get your ass kicked in the process but don't tell them i told you to say that damn big nets so we could get in trouble for that one yeah more than. Likely there's a shocker. So my question to mikey is if you didn't know what dad jeans were are you wearing them did you accidentally end up in dad jeans and you're like Man.

I think so. Maybe that's why you're not getting that stationary boob action. I don't know. Wait a minute. Maybe I've figured out my problem.

Well, yeah. He approaches women like, well, he's clearly a dad. I don't want to be around him. I don't want to hook up with dad. I'm not going out with my dad.

All right. I'm buying new jeans. That's all there is to it. I mean, do they have a pleat front? Ooh, see, that's trouble.

Are they, like, lighter than, like, very light-washed in them? I can't handle pleats. I'm sorry. That's crossing a line for me. You can probably Google it.

It'll probably let you know. Pleats and elastic waist. Sends a belt. Oh, that would be awesome. Oh, yeah, so.

And I agree, Twisted Sister is awesome. Well, specifically that song. It's funny that they didn't even work in their hits. Right. Because to me, that's possibly the best song on the album.

Burning Hill is awesome. So, yeah, it's just kind of cool that they worked that random B-side into the movie. Just for a moment. Yeah. It is pretty damn entertaining.

Great movie. I wonder if Dee Snider hangs out. With Paul Reumann. It kind of seems like they would hang out. Together in the real world.

They're both kind of weird. All right. So yes, thank you, Mikey. Uh, we, we definitely appreciate it. Um, I know you've still got the photo on your phone.

My question is, do you still have the frilly. Hannah Montana bag? Cause that, I was a little more taken with that that day, but I hope you're carrying that around every day. What was the Hannah Montana bag from? He was just carrying it around during the convention.

It had a frilly handle and it had a big picture of Hannah Montana and he was toting it around the whole time. And, I was kind of taken with that. So, you know, it's quite a look he had going on. I mean, if you were accidentally wearing dad jeans and carrying a Hannah Montana... Bag, people would just assume you had a small daughter somewhere that you'd misplaced.

Right. You're a dad, but you're also kind of a bad dad because you've lost your child. Or a cool dad that he knows that, well, I've got to be here with her at this, but I'm going to leave her alone to be with her friends. I'll let her go hang out with Bill Moseley. That's fine.

Any dad like that deserves some vibrating boo. If you can hook that up. I mean, in order to be a dad, you would have had to gotten some vibrating boob in the first place. Somewhere 20, 30 years ago. That didn't count.

Once it's that far gone, now it's at knee level, it doesn't count anymore. If it's for procreation purposes, it's not real. Oh, that's just sad, really. All right, so, yep, that pretty much wraps up. Again, we've got more coming, so keep the weird and entertaining feedback coming in because, yeah, we're working them in as we get around to it.

So thank you very much, Metal Mike. Thank you. Okay, kids, get out your decoder pins. Dun-dun-dun. It is time for the Movie Outdown Secret Circle reveal of an upcoming exciting feature.

Hell, we don't even know what we're doing. For you members of the Secret Circle. I believe next week we're going to attempt to put together, and this has actually been kind of popular lately. I got a specific request or at least an excitement over every time they turn it on and they hear it's a caffeinated movie geek episode. Yeah.

So I think we're going to try to put together another caffeinated movie geek episode. It's the Fred Factor. Yeah, everybody kind of loves the Fred Factor. I love Fred. You can't go wrong with that.

Oh, yeah, that reminds me. I also, this is like way past it, but I also happened to accidentally watch this Robert Mitchum movie last week. I don't know how I forgot that, but yeah. Mitchum. Which one was it?

It was about Ireland. Ireland. The Quiet Mitchum? Yeah. That would be a ruined actor.

No, I said Mitchum. No. I was combining. Was Catherine O'Hara in that? I don't know.

It was called Ryan's Daughter, I think. Hmm. It was Ryan Mitchum. All right. If you say so.

It was very long and very boring. It's probably why I forgot to mention it. You are selling us on it? It was like about, like it was filmed in Doolin, so it was really beautiful. Okay, anything else to pass along this week?

Nope. All right. Is there one favorite? I'm trying to decide. Do we go out with the big finale song of Dracula?

I mean, it is the triumphant song. I don't know if that's how we should. Are we going to listen to Rapula during the episode? I mean, we'll definitely, obviously, we've gotten Rapula in already. Okay.

But what do we, yeah, I mean, do we want to go out on the big finale? Because as we were saying, I told you we'd get it back around. That's exactly what I thought of as I watched this. I was like, you know, you kind of got to like. Or possibly hate, depending on your personality.

But I was like, you gotta like that when the credits, the final credits kick in and it's in the middle of the musical number, which is actually being played by your character. And it is some sort of crazy, well, this one was sort of a crazy dream sequence. It didn't make any sense. But I mean, the whole rest of the time they had a band, they were at a club, it all sort of made sense in a way. But I was like, there was that era.

The 80s was definitely that where you had like, you know, Howard the Duck rap stuff like that. But even like Purple Rain rap stuff like that. It's like there's so many of them. And it's like, all right, here come the credits. And you just finish it out with a whole big song.

So it doesn't need to be the thing. If that's how we have to finish it, that works. In honor of, you know, the 80s and or slash 1990, how do you round it out this kind of a movie and or episode? I guess that's how we should go. Dean Canlan playing...

Nicholas Cage playing Elvis with the Pointer Sisters backing him up. Picture that in your mind as we play it out. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed.

Thanks for listening. Well, there's a party in my pants Would you like to take a gander? And there's a rocket in my pocket Like a handsome commander If a diamond rings. Is it something that you'd like? Well, don't worry, babe Because the key's.

Back I got a love in my tummy There's something cool around. Rockin' them down to the bogey sound, baby. My name is Rockula, and I'm a ticket cool prisoner. Later today, I. Got nothing to do.

I'm gonna buy me a. Car, maybe I'll buy you one too, baby. If you need money, baby, I got a stack. I just tell all your friends that the key's back. I got love, I got money, there's just enough to throw around the hall.

You down to the boat in the sound. My name is Rockilla. I'm going to play my thing right now. I was like a. Sing-along kid, just for me.

Say, yadda yadda do. Say, I was Uncle Barry a lot. Say, kiki kiki kai. Say, a girl like us like a dog. . . . . . . . . How'd you like.

That, baby? Typical. What's typical? That the damsel's in distress and you're caught sleeping at the gate behind the eight ball a day late and a dime short. This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro. with opening music performed by the Empires.

To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.