146: The Incredible Shrinking Episode

The following program is a proud member of the Palover family of podcasts. Check out all the shows over at palover.com. That's P-A-L-A-V-E-R dot com. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised.

Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. To provide more cooling in the containment chamber. To your station, gypsy. We have a review now. Who is this lady you have shrunk?

Was she the owner of this house that you camp in front of? No. There's a couple more. Child's dolls. Do not try shrink me, gypsy.

I serious. Way down among Brazilians Coffee beans grow by the billions So they've got to find those extra cups to fill They got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian. I'm Marlena.

I'm Fred. I'm Greg. And we're back with another episode of The Caffeinated Movie Geek. Cappuccino my butt. I still drink coffee.

The last fucking thing you need is another cup of coffee. It's time for The Caffeinated Movie Geek. We're coming to you live via digital recording from Nancy's Bagel Grounds. And we'll get together, have coffee, as we are right now, and talk movies. So, Marlena, I ask you, what blend of coffee are we drinking this week?

Pacific Blacktail. Yes, this is our new blend of coffee. I hate to admit. This, but all coffee just tastes the same to me, unless it has, like, special stuff in it. Like, blend to blend, it tastes the same.

I'm not a coffee connoisseur. I guess. You have to, like, palpate the bouquet. I guess. Yes.

I mean, if you're just swilling it down, yeah. It's just... Bad coffee's bad. Yeah. There's a difference there.

I think within those, there's a different level. But yeah, when you get bad coffee, you know you got bad coffee. I mean, bad coffee, old coffee, strong coffee, weak coffee, and then flavored coffee. Those are my... That's my palate right there.

You know? I don't... I couldn't taste something and be like, oh, this is a fine Colombian blend. I don't know the difference. And I don't want to sound like a connoisseur, but bad coffee or cheap coffee, sometimes it hurts my stomach.

I don't know, you know, or sour. You have a more evolved digestive system. It's the acid. Europeans, they roast the beans differently, so you can drink much stronger coffee and it doesn't make you sick. But they say what you can do with American roasted coffee is, like, save eggshells and put them in the grounds, and it absorbs the excess acid.

Oh, wow. Because it's the calcium carbonate. Pretty sneaky, sis. Yeah. Well, if you want to know, this blend is Colombian medium.

It's got some montran and a brush of Colombian dark. So, there you go. It's like we're doing a little gourmet coffee show on PBS. I feel like we should. Use those hushed tones.

We are. That's why we're. The Caffeinated Movie Geek. Thank you for tuning in for another episode. Now we're going to say something obnoxious and insulting to everyone.

So, Marlena, I know you've got some sort of crazy stories. Yes. Is it time for the moment? I think so. I want to take a drink so I don't take a spit take.

You need to. Because I'm going to do the voice. Oh, yeah. Nobody drink during this. And now it's time for a Marlena moment.

Okay, so Friday night I was at this bar down the street from my house called Third Base. Classy right there. Referencing this really confuses people. If you're like, are you going to go to Third Base? And they're like, with who?

And I'm like, with Joe. And they're like, no. Oh, the bar. Yeah, we might do that later. It's really not that funny, but first time If someone's genuinely confused about it, it is funny.

Nice. But anyway. Newbies. God. That's not the story.

So I met up with my friend Jeremy, Joe, Jessica, and Phillip there. And I was hungry when I got to the bar. And they have jello shots. And I'm not very good at drinking, so I like to get the Jell-O shots because I figure that's two birds, one stone. I eat the Jell-O shots, I'm not hungry, and I also get drunk.

So it's like, it's a great value. So we're sitting there, and I'm eating a Jell-O shot, and it sticks to the lid, and I'm trying to eat it, and like half of it falls out of my mouth. And Joe makes this joke about it being snot or something disgusting. So I get up to spit it into the garbage can because I'm, like, choking on it, and I'm not going to be able to swallow it. And I try to get off the bench, and I start tripping.

And I'm, like, tripping and spitting to the garbage can, and they're laughing hysterically. And this lady who was around the corner who we'd only heard because she was, like, having a domestic dispute with her boyfriend, she comes up, and she's like, hey, what's funny? Because she thought we were laughing at her in this, like, ruff. Like, I've been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes for the last 50 years of my life kind of voice. So your mom was there?

Yeah. Oh, no. No, that's what Jessica was like, is that your mom over there? And I was like, no. It sounded like a yo mama joke, but I was being legit.

Yeah, no. No. Yeah, it's funny that you mention that, because Jessica thought it was my mom, but it wasn't. She came up. And she's just, she kept saying that over.

She's like, what's so funny? What's so funny? And. We're all kind of like deer in headlights because this disgusting woman, she was in her 50s or she had an extremely hard life or both. But she has this like half shirt on and this like spare tire, which is like 30 years of beer drinking and cellulite.

And she's, like, leaning over Philip, who is, like, extremely uncomfortable. And she's like, what's so fucking funny? Do you think it's funny that I'm going to go to jail now? Apparently she got kicked out. And she can't, like, imagine that it was her fault.

But apparently this is what she said. She's like, do you think it's funny that I'm getting kicked out for singing a Christian song? Which I think was supposed to be Christian. We're worried this woman's going to knife us. And it's like, we're trying not to laugh, and we all kind of had this, like, shocked and horrified look on her face.

And none of us can think of anything witty to say. And she's, like, sitting, she's standing directly next to me, so I don't want to, like, piss her off because she could kill me or something. I don't know. Then she goes, Do you think it's funny that I'm going to go to jail because I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ? And we fucking lose it.

Jessica chokes on her beer. I've got my face buried in Jeremy's arm. And I'm dying. I'm dying laughing. And then she starts attacking Joe, not physically, but like...

He was the one that was just sitting there, like, not laughing. He was trying to, like, quietly eat his Jell-O shot. And she's like... what are you laughing at, you fucking asshole? He goes, um, I wasn't laughing. Don't confuse her with logic.

Yeah, yeah. And, uh, yeah, so it was pretty awkward and, uh, it was funny. I guess you would have mostly had to have been there, but. I like that that gets worked into every morning. You would have had to have been there.

Yeah, I mean, it's true. For it to have been as funny as it was for me, you would have had to experience it yourself. But, um, It's a special experience listening to you this way. It's its own thing when you retell it here. And after she left, Joe was like, wow, that's why I don't come here.

And at the same time, Jessica was like, that's why we come here. And that's why I question this as one of the best ones, because when you stumble upon these events, then it's pretty impressive that these all keep happening to you. But when you just go to someplace where that shit happens every week, I don't know. That changes it. It's not that it happens every, well, actually, just, I don't know.

I think it might just be me. That place is pretty ridiculous. I think a similar situation would happen no matter the case. Yeah, I mean, if you go anywhere where there's a lot of drunk people, people are going to say stupid things. No, this isn't just drunk people.

This is like the trashiest, drunkest. Once again. Like pseudo bikers you could ever find. But going there changes the whole playing field we're dealing with. Yeah.

And the thing that had happened earlier, which I think Fred did, or I know Greg knows about this at least, I'm standing at work. And Jessica was like, what are you going to wear later? And I'm like, I'm going to wear, I'm trying to say pussy bow blouse. Oh, yeah. Which is like a legitimate term for like a 1960s style secretary shirt.

I took your word for it. I didn't look it up. That ties on a little bow. I just believe you. Yeah, it ties on a little bow at the neck.

And like we're crowded at work and, you know, we're standing up front. And I can't get it out. I'm saying, pussy blow blouse. And she's like, a what? And I'm like, pussy blow blouse.

And then everyone just kind of like their forks drop and they look at me. And I'm like, I was just yelling pussy and blow really loud. at my place of business. And you know, you really shouldn't do that. I don't know. That's dangerous.

It could be an embolism or something. Or if they think the blouse is about to come off, you know, you might bring more people in. So if you just go out front and yell that, you might bring people in. I mean, you really shouldn't blow in that area. No, that's not healthy.

It could be an air embolism or something. Yes, it is a danger. I have heard that. Medically, it's not a good idea. I just didn't want the podcast to become responsible for something.

So let's put a public service announcement up right now. So kids. Don't wear pussy blow blouses. Don't yell about it in public. It's hard to say.

Pussy blow blouse. It's hard to say. It's hard for anyone to say, not just me. That's why I don't even, they probably have renamed it. It sounds kind of like placebo.

It does. I'm going to wear a placebo, pussy bow, I don't know. Did you say placebo? And I was like, no. No, I'm not saying placebo.

I'm saying pussy blow. Damn, get it straight. It's a placebo blouse. You think it's there, but it's not. It's really just a t-shirt, but when you look at it, you think it's the most beautiful blouse you've ever seen.

Yeah, yeah. See, I like that story better, actually. I like pussy blow better. That's way more fun. Then that horrible drunk woman.

No, the horrible drunk woman was really funny, though. Only if you were there. I do think it's funny that she's going to go to jail for believing in the Lord. Right. I think that's fucking hilarious.

She's going to go to jail for believing in the Lord Jesus Christ. Well, maybe while she's there. It has nothing to do with her being belligerent in public. No. I love how people work out how things work for themselves.

When something bad happens to them, they have to come up with, You know, their explanation of, yes. Well, while she's there in prison, she can get some bad prison tattoos of probably a cross, or maybe Jesus flipping you off. I think a stick figure crucifixion would be awesome. That would be great. Didn't they do that on stick figure theater?

Maybe. Maybe that was like the Easter special. I don't remember. I'm pretty sure I've. Mentioned my friend who got the Jesus riding a T-Rex tattoos.

Because I told him that would be a great idea, and he does what I tell him, which is kind of awesome. I would steal that idea. I don't have any tattoos, and I thought, what would I get? I heard about that. I thought that was stealable.

Yeah, but I just want to update that, and he now has Mary riding a Velociraptor on the other side. See, I was going to say, I think yesterday I came in contact with something equally as cool, and it was fun because it was on my nephew, who's like five years old. I came in, and he was wearing this T-shirt, and I was like, damn, why don't they make that in adult sizes? It was like a giant, like, Velociraptor head, and then down towards the bottom was a monster truck. And it said Jurassic Crush or something.

I was like, that's the most awesome shirt ever. Dinosaurs and monster trucks on the same T-shirt. I was like, this kid, this kid's stylish. I like this kid. He'd be styling.

He was, I'm telling you. Yeah, and he's trying to think of the next religious figure to, like, get. I think we should get, you know, like an image of God on like a pterodactyl. I think you should start mixing it up. It should be like Buddha on a triceratops or something.

I don't know. I think. I think it's the kind of Catholic image. I want one from each. I want like, you know, each religious leader from each different religion on a different dinosaur.

I think Gandhi eating a cheeseburger would be awesome. That'd be pretty cool. This is not relevant at all. Gandhi and the Hamburglar. That would be great.

Gandhi dressed as the Hamburglar. Gandhi eating Mayor McCheese. Just taking a bite out of his head. Then we need Buddha with Grimace, because they seem like they would hang out together. Yeah, they would be.

I once had a friend who, this is not extremely relevant to the podcast, but to what we were just talking about. When is anything? My friend Morgan lived in China or somewhere for a little while. I think, actually, he lived in Korea. And, I don't know.

Did he not know where he was living? I don't know. He knew. He was always there. Oh, yeah.

He was in one of those countries over there. Yeah, someplace. Not America. Yeah, not America. And that's all that's important.

And really near to where he lived, there was a painter who, like, would, he did portraits, and he kind of, like, would perch on the street, and his portraits were really cheap. And I think Morgan said it is like the equivalent of like five or ten American dollars. And the guy was like an amazing artist, and he would paint whatever he wanted, and he like specialized in portraits. So Morgan has this whole series of him like being kicked in the ass by like Gandhi and like, yeah. Awesome.

Cool. Here's Confucius kicking my ass. Yeah. All the great leaders of the world kicking my ass. My wife was in Korea for a while on a small island off the coast of Korea.

And the only things that I really can take back from her descriptions were there was a lot of squid. That was like 90% of the diet was squid. And every painting or sculpture or picture has, you know, a phallic symbol in it. Everything. If you get.

So it's all like the cover of The Little Mermaid? Right. But it's just, yeah, every statue, every painting, every picture has some kind of phallic symbol in it. That's cool. It was squid and penises.

Huh. I think that's an anime. Right. I think I've seen that, yeah. Nothing but penises and tentacles.

That kind of sounds awesome. Well, then there's a lot of anime out there for you to watch. That's right. That's all there is. I don't know.

Yeah, probably several crossover countries. Interesting. Just type that in on your Google, and I'm sure you'll get some really interesting stuff. I think that about sums it up for me. All right, so with that, we will take a break and be back with this week's movie.

You're ruling all the way You, you, you, you I want to pet you babe You, you, you, you, you You're feeling all so great You, you, you, you So come on pussy slay The p-p-p-pussy Hot pussy, nice pussy Where is my pussy cat? Hot pussy, nice pussy Where is my pussy cat? Hot pussy, nice pussy Your attention please. All new Hotshot electric in-car heaters have been installed for your comfort and convenience. Just insert heater through car window and turn on the switch.

When leaving, please turn switch off and replace on speaker post. Warning, high voltage. For your own safety, do not attempt to repair or remove wires. Do not attempt to open heater unit. If you need assistance, please notify the theater box office or concession manager.

It's Orson Welles speaking. I just saw the impossible happen before my astounded eyes. I saw a man grow smaller and smaller day by day. I saw the loneliest and most frightened creature on earth living. A nightmare in a world of giants.

The incredible shrinking man. The incredible shrinking man. Show starts in two minutes. Tweaked Audio, your source for high-performance, noise-reducing earbuds. Available in three styles and seven colors, durable and designed to sound great for both music and those chatty podcasts, like the one you're listening to now.

Tweaked Audio earbuds come with a one-year warranty, and now there's a special deal for Movie Meltdown listeners. Just go to tweakedaudio.com, and when you check out, enter the discount code MELTDOWN. Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Treat Audio. Sounds better.

GGTNC. Live. For you. Fresh air. Big Willie and the Samurai are at your service, breaking films down and turning them around, giving recommendations that are always on point.

Visit ggtmc.com for more information. The Gentleman's Guide to Midnight Cinema, bringing class to the trash since 1977. Hi, this is Larry Blamire, also known as Dr. Paul Armstrong, doing science for Movie Meltdown. It's time.

For Sofa Theater. The top news story of the day continues to be the incredible shrinking woman. Perhaps the petite Pat Kramer is a metaphor for the modern woman. It is no secret that the role of the modern housewife has become increasingly less significant. Blow me a kiss.

Come across the room. Say I look nice when I'm not Touch my hair as you pass my chair Little things, little things mean a. Lot All right, welcome back to Movie Meltdown Sofa Theater. This week's Sofa Theater feature is The Incredible Shrinking Woman. The year is 1981.

The director, and it surprised the hell out of me when I saw this, Joel Schumacher. The plot, according to IMDb, when an ordinary woman is exposed to a unique mix of chemicals, she begins to uncontrollably physically shrink, which is an odd worded thing, but it's IMDb. So with that. Controllably mentally shrink. The junior high kids writing these.

Yeah, I think so. So with that spoiler alert, we will, I'm sure, go into all of the spoiler-filled areas of this movie. And before we get done, we will go ahead... One from the vaults. Another installment of One from the Vaults.

And we will see what Lily has to say about her thoughts on The Incredible Shrinking Woman. Oh, yeah, well, Jane and I, my partner Jane and I produced that movie. Yeah, she wrote it, didn't she? Yeah, and she wrote it, and it went through a lot of changes, though, that we weren't entirely happy with. Yeah.

But we did it, and it was a long shoot, because I had to stop shooting Shrinking Woman to go and start 9 to 5. Yeah. Because of the special effects. I mean, it wasn't a big-budget movie, and we... had to use a lot of big props and a lot of rear screen. That was all pre-CGI.

Yeah, that's right. It was all giant dolls and toys. Yeah, and like if I was on, you know, when I'm sitting on the dining room table, I'm really about 30 feet in the air. Yeah. And then in the lab table, I'm running around when I'm captured in the lab, and I was running around on the top of this stainless steel, you know, scaffolding that's way up in the air, and I'm hysterical, running, screaming, and I kept thinking, I'm sure to run off the edge of this damn thing.

There's a gorilla there to catch. You, right? Yeah, right. Oh, and that's, yeah, the gorilla, and he was made out of fiberglass. His fur, the big arm that I rode on was made out of fiberglass.

I probably have mesothelioma over it. There's lawyers you can call about that still. Yeah, I know you're supposed to be, but I was doing, I did it as a, I probably have no claim as a producer. Yeah, that's true. You'd be suing yourself at that point.

Was John Landis originally attached to it at one point? Yes, he was originally, and then he, the budget on the movie got cut, and he had to go do Blues Brothers, and Because the movie with John was much more, they were willing to spend the money with John. Yeah, yeah. Because he'd already had, I guess, a couple of hits. Yeah, Animal House probably.

I can't remember offhand. And, of course, Rick Baker did Sidney the Gorilla. Yeah, yeah. But when John was in the movie, it was going to be a much bigger budget for me. And we were going to have many more locations and a lot of different stuff that we had to change.

He had to leave because they had to start Blues Brothers. And then how did you get to Joel Schumacher? Well, I know that that was Joel's first feature. He directed something on television. He was very close to Ned Tannen, who was one of the high executives at Universal.

And as far as I know, I mean, I think they were looking for a picture for Joel to do or something. And that's what happened. Thank you once again to Lily for telling us her thoughts and the memories of the movie. And I guess now we can start with ours. So I ask you, where would you like to begin?

Well, I would like to say that, you know, all the respect in the world for Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner... Yes. The movie sucked. It just sucked. I love the movie.

Yeah, I wouldn't say it sucked. I would say it sucked. Yeah, I wouldn't say it sucked. There were some good. Things to chew on.

I remember, and this is what made me want to specifically ask her about this one, I remember really liking this movie as a kid. And I think that's part of it. I think it is one of those, if you saw it as a kid, you probably would really enjoy it. And a lot of the sillier stuff that comes into play... Watching it now, I see the parts that are silly about it.

I definitely see the stuff. But there still is a little bit of nostalgia for me. I still look at it and go, ah, yeah, I kind of remember why I like this at the time. So I think you're just not kid enough to enjoy it. There were three things that I remembered remembering about it, and it wasn't until I watched it that all three came back.

The first was. I recognized her from, I didn't know who she was as a kid, you know, a young kid. And I recognized her from, um, the electric company, I guess is what it was when she, is that what she would do? Her character of the young girl in the, uh, he did fan. She did those on TV and I'm laughing.

Yeah. But I, but see, I think I saw them somewhere else. Like, um, yeah, she was omnipresent. She was on a lot of stuff or something, you know? Um, The other thing was, because my parents had rented it and watched it, and I remember the little boy having the coolest costumes and toys and everything.

I thought he was a badass. And when I finally. Learned officially what the middle finger was as a young man, It was like these– I always associated the middle finger with a gorilla giving it. And it wasn't until just re-watching it that I realized where the gorilla was. That I saw giving the finger.

So I was like– I mean I had to stop watching. I was like– You know, for years I thought it was like something I'd imagined or something I'd, you know. Or a weird day at the zoo. That never happened. I was like, no, that never happened.

You know, I figured that out in my mind that it was a dream or something. And then there it was. It's funny. I think I. It had forgotten or just blocked out that moment.

Yeah. Because I remembered everything else. I remember there was a gorilla. I remember the whole escape thing going on. But I got to that, and it was just this slap in the face of, oh, shit, I forgot about this scene.

Yeah. What the fuck? Oh, Lord. So maybe that's maybe the nostalgia for me. That's why I couldn't say it sucked.

Mm-hmm. I still think there's a lot of stuff going on that I didn't expect, though. Because, again, I remember it as a kid, so I don't remember seeing anything else. I just remember it's, oh, and she's shrinking in giant toys and blah, blah, blah. But when I started watching it this time, I realized what a huge statement they were making.

Like, how hardcore they were in this weird, like, First of all, this satirical look at advertising, and then this really hardcore anti-consumerism stance that they just really go on. And also the shrinking role of the woman filmmaker. Yeah, the fact that they bring that up a lot. It all seems sort of facile and half-hearted, like they weren't really too serious about it. That's what I thought was weird, though.

It's like they take this really obvious stance against it, but they never really... say anything with it it's like they never really finish the statement they bring it up a couple of times and then by the end she's giving this big speech and she's just like I don't have to tell you what's wrong with the world like she doesn't even pinpoint it like she doesn't even say what their problem is with things it's just there's a lot of things wrong and I think that's part of the problem I guess is there's no focus really on that stuff it's like they're kind of trying to be you know self aware of what's going on and sort of conscious about the world that they're in and make some sort of statement about the world at that time or in general.

And it seems like they just didn't finish it or, I don't know. They weren't really that serious. That's it. It's an easy thing to do. It's like, you know, Charlie Brown Christmas.

It's all the commercialism is ruining Christmas. Oh, well, let's dance. Hey, that line is at a point. What are you talking about? I'll tell you what.

I love the commercialism of Christmas. I just want to say that right now. That's the fun part. I just hate babies. Started in August.

I don't give a shit. Christmas is fun. I completely removed the religion out of it. I just think it's something to break up the winter. Well, that's what, yeah, I mean, to me, it has nothing to do with religion anymore, now that we're going on a rant on Christmas.

But, yeah, to me, there's two different modes. It's like, if you want to be religious about it, you can. If you want to have a tree and give presents, that's a whole different thing. You can trace it back to whatever you want, but those are two separate modes now. I have an excuse to have...

Almost a pagan Christmas. Light up your house so it's not so disgusting. Have something to look forward to. Give presents. Be nice to people.

Why is that commercialism so bad? Do it. So now let's embrace the wonders of consumerism. Well, I mean, if you embrace it right, I mean, if you come up with a really good idea for a gift, that's awesome. It's just hard to do.

Like, this movie almost had like a Stepford Wives kind of quality about it in a comical way. But it fizzled out at the end, like you said. I still think the overall message was there. They didn't, I mean, they could have wrapped it up a little bit better, but you kind of got the gist. And it was a comedy.

They weren't trying to make it super serious. So I think that's why they didn't, like, drill that in at the end of the movie. I think so, but it still doesn't. it doesn't ever really put a point on it at all. It seems like it needed to at least be a little more of a specific thing they were trying to do with it. Instead, it's just sort of a generalized...

I don't know. It's like that, I guess, was... And it does become like a different movie that last 20 minutes or so. Like, everything from the kidnapping is a different movie and gets really silly. Like, before that, it's...

I mean, the whole premise is silly, but it's still like there's a lot more interesting stuff going on. And then I think once you get to that, it's just... crazy slapstick running around in monkey suits. It becomes an incoherent mess. Yeah, kind of. I mean, they have an idea, and they're starting to work with it, but then it's just off the top.

It seems like she's just riding off the top of her head. Yeah. I was just going to say, it kind of seems like maybe the whole 9 to 5 got in the way with it, and they kind of just wrapped it up a little too soon, maybe. Maybe that was the dividing point. Maybe they'd gotten that other two-thirds of it done, and then when she had to go shoot 9 to 5, came back and was just like, Okay, now all the budget's gone, and we don't know how to end it.

They've changed this, they've changed this, so that may have been what happened. The other thought that I had about it, and this was before I knew about being broken up into parts, was that perhaps it was too. Maybe, like, especially with her speech, maybe she was going to have a full speech. And it was going to be an anti-consumerism thing. And then maybe the company said, you need to stop right there.

Much like in the movie. Right. You're going to lose money for us. We're not going to put this out if you keep going down that path. And so they just abandoned that.

Well, that was part of the change. I did find it says when John Landis was still the director before they made all those changes, In his version, the film would have ended with the heroine giving a speech in Washington, D.C. when she was less than a foot tall. And I'm sure that would have been a pretty heavy speech. I mean, based on, you know, just his probably much more serious movie and, you know, Washington, D.C. And yeah, I can see it being a very message heavy moment there where at this point they were just like, Let's have a monkey running around the supermarket.

That all was pretty dumb. But up until that point, I was having a good time, honestly, with the garbage disposal. The special effects stuff. Yes, you know it's fake. But really, for 81, it looked pretty good.

I was expecting to go back and have remembered it better than it was. And I'm looking at it going... You know, even by now, I mean, you don't have green screen. They were just sort of getting to that point of, this was even still a little before blue screen fully kicked in. But, I mean, it definitely looks good for 81 particularly.

I love, I mean, this is not really relevant to this movie, but, you know, like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, I love tiny people with giant props. I love it. Just the thought of them making this gigantic sink prop that's like an actual gigantic sink is just so entertaining to me. It's parallel with my obsession with fake food. I just love little miniature things and gigantic things and fake food.

You have very specific things that you're interested in. Yes, very specific criteria for things that I like. I don't know why, but I just do. Well, I was thinking that. I mean, it is something that they sort of reboot this idea every 10 years or so, because that was like the 80s version of this, was Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

And then 90s, didn't we do another version that was... Well, they just kept sequeling. Well, we have to mention the incredible shrinking. Which is where they are. That's where I was going is that they're taking it from the actual, you know, Matheson novel.

So they even credit it at the beginning. So, I mean, it is based in something very real and scientific, you know, in a very sci-fi heavy project. So, you know, I mean, it's been a long time since I've seen the original movie. I'm pretty sure they stray quite a bit from that. Oh, I remember that movie vividly, and he has a little speech at the end that gets all cosmic.

It's like funny, but beautiful. I don't know. It's kind of a cool little movie. I remember being really impressed by it when I was like, I don't know, nine or something. Yeah, that was like 60s, wasn't it?

So that's like the 60s version, and this is almost like, it still kind of feels like the 70s version. It's 81, but it feels like a somewhat pretty close. Like it was made in 79. Yeah, which is, yeah, I guess when they started working on it. Pat, gotta try camper clean.

No more ring around the fender, honey. Great new diet daiquiri mix at the store, hun. Pat, you deserve a break today. Pat, you gotta get some of this stuff for your lawn. Ever see our boat look better?

Pat, it's boat sheen. Hi, Pat. Got some Valjum. Hey, Pat. How about a weenie, huh?

There I was, safe and secure in the belief that nothing unusual ever happens in Tasty Meadows. Right off the bat, When they're on their way home, and I thought it was fun. Every neighbor was talking about a new product. Yeah, I love that. See, that's, instead of it getting heavier or more serious, if it went with that kind of bizarro stylistic choice, further, by the end of the movie, it's just kind of like narrating a story, but it doesn't have that.

That sense of creating a world. It loses the satire. That, to me, was really satirically making fun of... It kind of was the suburbs thing. It was sort of that same thing.

As the house. And when she goes into her house, and just the look of the house, it already looks like a Barbie house. It has that Barbie pink everywhere. It's strange. The thing that struck me, it had that same feel of the neighborhood in Edward Scissorhands.

That's what I was going to bring up. Yeah, the parody of the suburbs. That's exactly what I was going to bring up. Really, and I could see, even see Tim Burton watching this and thinking, that's that kind of feeling. Even the lady that was selling.

The cosmetics is almost directly at it. And that's, and if it, would have stayed down that path. It probably would have been. Yeah, kept with the big stylistic choices. Perhaps showing it.

For me, as it went on, it just got ugly. I just couldn't look at it. The pistachio suit that Charles. Clayton was wearing. See, that's the thing.

Everything is so ugly, and the kids are so fucking annoying. I just want to smack them. See, that's the part I thought was pretty realistic, that ridiculous family. I was like, the house is trash. There's toys everywhere.

Every few minutes, there's something flying through the room. The kids won't shut up. I was like, everything about the family is actually, it's obnoxious and overwhelming, and that's what makes it kind of real. Yeah. But yeah, they were kind of obnoxious, but...

Yeah, I don't know. You get that, and then they just keep going. I don't know. By the end, I'm visually just annoyed by the whole movie. Again, it changes so much visually.

But in the beginning, I was going to say, that's what, and it's funny that, I mean, I guess you can give a little credit to Joel Schumacher because he does have those visuals. Like, if you look, even in his really bad tacky projects, Batman and Robin, Again, look at those colors and those like everything is really epic and overdone and played up. This is kind of like the infancy of that. It's like you see because really it's even like when I thought about, OK, it does remind me of the neighborhood from Edward Scissorhands. It's like the dial back version because you don't notice it right off.

I mean, you get the Stepford Wives part, but then like the color thing, like it took like 20, 30 minutes before I started looking and seeing how. universal it was that it was making this little neighborhood in this little world that like each of the cars was its own little like pastel rainbow you know everybody had a different colored pastel car and. The the green was the same green that was in all the other yeah it was it was were all the same it was all that. Like light mint green and yeah that same like powder blue on everything everything was this like easter theme neighborhood and And then you get to the close, and I got to that scene where Charles Grodin comes in, and you're sitting there with the neighbor, and he's wearing pink pants and this puke green shirt.

I was just like, what is he wearing? And at that point, I thought it was just, what year was that? What was this awful outfit? And then I started seeing the other neighbors and like how obnoxious all of their clothes were. And I'm like, okay, this is at least conscious.

This is a very specific look he's going for. I don't know. It's not near as over the top as he gets later. It's not even as over-the-top as Tim Burton gets doing Edward Scissorhands. It's a little more subdued, but still obnoxious.

But almost in a good way. I almost give it points for being creative. It's like it's more than... Again, that was stuff that I don't remember as a kid, and now looking at it, seeing this color scheme that he's going for, and seeing him trying to be a director. Again, he continues to try.

It's arguable. It's definitely sloppy. There's a lot of mess. This is his first feature, like his first real movie, so you can tell. I mean, he's definitely a first-time director.

He's still sort of getting his bearings, but I don't know. It shows promise, maybe more than he deserves some projects, but he's a weird director. Like, if you go and look through his list, it's like... as much as I want a bad mouth and as a knee jerk reaction, I'll go down and go, Oh God, I forgot he did that. I like that. Oh God, what is he?

You know, there's like, I want to rule, you know, just write him off as a terrible director, but then there's four or five that I'm like, I really liked that movie and it actually looks good. And it's a, it's a well put together plot. And I don't trust people who never do anything bad. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, he's just done equal parts, I suppose, but, He's another one. Am I the only person who feels like, after the thing with two heads, the gorilla and the Keystone Cops thing, did they just have a stop drawer full of stuff like when a movie goes off the rails? Throw in the gorilla, do the cop chase. I think it's always been like that. If they would have had the dirt bike, Yeah, man, this could have been a full-on sequel.

I would say it's something about this time period, you know, that 70s to 80s. But no, I mean, you go back and look at movies in the 30s. Look how many Universal movies had a gorilla in them, half of which were horror. But, I mean, you go back. I mean, they had stock gorilla suits sitting around the Universal lot, and they would just cram them into random movies.

Sometimes they were horror. Sometimes it was sci-fi. Just put a diving helmet on them. I mean. I don't think that was universal, but all those movies at that time, it's like you just shoved a gorilla in there as a fallback.

Everyone had the King Kong suit, and they're just like, eh, fuck it, put it in the movie. Yeah, pretty much. It became a. King Kong did really good. It was an easy move.

It was just like, people like gorillas in movies, right? It's like, I don't think anybody ever said yes. They just went, right? And they kept cramming it in there. You know, this movie did have similar themes to the thing with two heads, you know?

There's like the evil kind of guy who wants to... Scientist. Yeah. Well, and the feel of it could be comedy, it could be. It could be just old sci-fi.

Some sort of social commentary. Yeah, all kind of mashed into one. Although this is Oscar-worthy compared. To The Thing With Two Hands. Yes, it is.

No, the effects of this movie I loved. I think it looked good for what they were doing. I love the thing like the little flat top. Griddle that she was cooking the bacon on. And the bacon was moving.

Yeah, that was hilarious. That was good. What kind of family is that? Why would you, I mean, she could die if she fell on that. Go take her away from that.

What if it was a maid? Like, why did they have a fucking maid? She was awesome. I would hire her. She looks so different, like, you know, in some areas.

Yeah, then fixed up. But when she wasn't fixed up, she was actually kind of pretty and looked a lot like my Russian babysitter. Uh-oh. If she had had a scar, I would know. Oh, Concepcion.

What kind of name is Concepcion? Concepcion? I thought she was a daughter. I don't think I'd fuck a woman named Concepcion. That would worry me.

Sounds like an accident waiting to happen. Yeah, I know. I would think of Dave Concepcion. I've got to meet him. You got a bad case of Concepcion.

Oh, man. I wouldn't have thought of that. It's a mess. I mean, it's a mess, but there's moments when it's like there's really, like, well-done stuff in there. I mean, it's...

There's... It just doesn't hold together. A lot of Kentucky actors, Ned Beatty and Ellie Tomlin. Yeah. I remember...

The thing about Jane Wagner that I just love is this hour-long movie she wrote. It was like her first thing. It was called J.T., and it's just one of the great things I've seen in my life. It's among those moments like, I don't know, like maybe I was a kid. I was watching Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet and the Mercutio scene that's like, oh, you could do the scene that way and it's so unexpected, but it's convincing.

And I don't know about the movie as a whole, but that scene was like, it was a moment when I realized what a director does and how the actors take over the material. But she wrote this thing, it was like an after-school special called JT, and it's just like, one of the most brilliant things i've ever seen yeah i've maybe seen it twice maybe three times but like my brother and i when that would come on we're like. Holy crap get to the tv and it was it was just about this kid in the ghetto who finds a cat and takes care of it and it's just riveting it's like one of the most striking things you'll ever see and it's not it's not around um But after watching this and thinking about it, I have to get hold of it.

I'm on a quest. Wow. This movie just made me realize that there's so many movies that I see, like, a lot of potential that, I mean, most movies you don't want to see remade. And then this is one of the movies I would love to see remade, not, like, with blue screen or green screen or whatever props, but, like, And not by some asshole in Hollywood, but, like, this could be a... It has potential to be a really great movie with, like, an excellent message behind it, but it's just, like, no one's ever going to do it right.

If it weren't heavy-handed. It depends on what you want to do with it, because I think where this one has its moments that are almost the best moments is actually the comedy stuff. Yeah, no, I agree. I mean, there's... There's so many ways a movie can go wrong, like, you know, with really good talent and everything.

But then you've got to have the money, you've got to have the support, you've got to have things happen. It's a wonder that any of them turn out good, really. But, like, and again, we've thrown out the spoilers. So when we get to the funeral scene, like, that was the part I was like, when they... It's not the fact that they're burying a matchbox.

It's the look that Charles Crodon gives. As she said, the nobody can fill her shoes line, which is almost so bad. Again, it's purposely put in how bad it is so that he can give you this look of, what the fuck just happened? That's why I was like, okay, this movie's got its moments of genius because that... I don't know if that was his movement or if that was written in, but I was like that moment of him just going, what did she just say?

But not being able to really react to it. Oh, God. I think I had a moment of just epiphany. You could do almost like a mystery science theater moment, and you could take him, just him sitting there with a camera on him, And make it like a picture in picture. And it's video of him watching what you're watching.

And he can react to the what the fuck moments in movies or television or even the news. And not even have audio. Just watch his face react to the world. As it goes by. And it would probably be...

Hilarious. Charles Gruden. Again, that's... Charles Gruden. He also, he delivered the line, well, when you're ready to come down off your soapbox.

I mean, you know they thought of that like first and went, all right, we have to make this movie about a shrinking woman. Yeah. Because I worked this... Where else can I do this? She had to stop and look down at it, too.

Again, there's... I don't know. It's like, it works... on its own weird little levels that's along the way. Overall, it doesn't necessarily gel sometimes, but it's got moments in it, I'm telling you. I like the whole build-up to when he gives her the nightgown, and you're completely expecting him, he's even got the book out on the bed, and you're completely expecting him to be ready for her, and she's got all this build-up to it, and there's smoke and lighting and open the door and dramatic music and then he's asleep i you know and your mind is going okay how are they going to work this out.

Yeah where's this love scene gonna go and. And you know this is awkward anyway and and then he's you know he's asleep and just i don't know it um it doesn't it's not necessarily funny but it definitely plants some things in your brain like How would they. What are we doing here? Why are we going down this path? I don't feel comfortable anymore.

Right. Maybe that's why they changed that. Right. It immediately takes a turn. I don't know.

I mean, we could just do the cast. I mean, Charles Grodin... Yeah. I mean, this was sort of that stretch of time that he was in damn near every movie. And he's kind of always that guy.

Yeah. I mean, he's the same... husband that's, you know, kind of the straight man to whatever ridiculous situation that's going on from this movie to like, uh, seems like old times to Beethoven. I mean, he's doing the same shit, you know, it's, yeah, it's like, he's doing that same guy. He said, yeah, I mean, he's good at doing this. Like I'm watching him in this and I'm like, he's kind of, I mean, some.

Of his, he's good. It's no Beethoven. I've got a, uh, um, I was always trying to pick out movies that I thought my kids would like. It's like those mirror receptors in your brain. You try to find stuff.

But I picked out Midnight Run and got my daughter watching it. And she's like, no, it's another dad movie. And after a while, she's like... What the hell is this? It's like, yeah, it's that good.

Again, it's a really good movie. Yeah, you don't want your dad to have picked it out. You're just like, here, this showed up. I'm not picking it. Tell me what you think of it.

It's another good performance. And he's one of those, he doesn't seem to have range. He's always that guy, even if it's in a different, I'm like, that's a very different situation for his character. But he's still kind of that guy, you know? It's like he never strays too far.

But somehow he's delivered a lot of really solid performances over the years with not really having much range in his performances. But it is always that what's the world doing to me now. Yeah, yeah. I'm just, he's always, whatever the situation is, he's just got to, all right, what do I have to do to keep this, keep everything okay? What do I got to do?

And yeah, he's always sort of holding it together as best he can, usually not very well. Right. But then, I mean, just so many other, like Henry Gibson. I mean, is there ever anything he's not kind of awesome in? All he has to do is be Henry Gibson.

I couldn't think of his name when I was watching that. Yeah, and that's right at the same time as the Blues Brothers, so it's like maybe that's where it, yeah, maybe he got sent over from one to the other. But, yeah, he's hilarious. And what else do we have? We've got Elizabeth Wilson as Ruth Ruth.

Or Dr. Ruth before there was a Dr. Ruth, I guess. Oh, man. She's really funny, too.

Ned Beatty's gross. Ned Beatty, like, again, pulling off a pretty convincing slimeball here. I do love the go ahead and arrest me. for what sir. Just trust me yeah but yeah he i mean he pulls it off again because this is like that point where he's you know gonna do like you know sidekick to lex luthor. So yeah he's good at playing the weasley you know guy but it was hard to see him as like yeah i don't know it was a little more sinister than he's usually usually he's just sort of dim-witted or you know he's just there to I don't know.

It was slightly different than he usually gets shoved into. Why was Lily Tomlin playing the neighbor? Because she's Lily Tomlin. That's what it is. It did seem like.

They were taking a little advantage of just how people love her. I mean, it was her project, and they made use of it. And that's what all those... I mean, she was the main character, but then her as the neighbor was someone she played on Broadway as one of her characters in Broadway. And then the operator.

And then the operator. And there's actually an Edith Ann scene where she wanders into the lab that got cut out in the theatrical version. Well, and they had kind of like just the whole chair scale thing. Yeah. Because that's the first time you really see her as being.

Is when she's in the chair. But, you know, I didn't understand how the neighbor was. She was there pimping all of these creams and soaps and everything. And the next scene you see her in, she's this, you know... Anti-consumerism advocate.

Now, like, that's almost two separate roles. Why, you know, why did they all of a sudden switch to... Well, I mean, I guess it's supposed to. Again, that's towards the end more, especially by the end where she's, like, rallying against this. I mean, it's supposed to be, I guess, some sort of turnaround, and she even took the person that was the most...

Characters grow. Yeah, well, I mean, that's that, you know, she's supposed to be changing the world. Even the littlest person can change the world. It's that novel that Brian the dog is working on. Characters grow, people change.

You know. I still think she, almost immediate loyalty, as soon as she starts to shrink, she says... Oh, you know that's from all the products you're using. Well, you're the one that's talking. Yeah.

Like, in the scene before you were talking. It is a really quick turnaround. It just seems so incoherent. Yeah. It's a quick turnaround.

I'll give you that. Yeah. I understand it's supposed to be her, like, changing the people around her, specifically her being the worst at the beginning, who comes in with this box full of crap. Why is Lily Tomlin so hot? That's my question.

Because you know you can't have her. Yeah, well, no, but usually that goes the other way for me. Usually I don't find lesbians attractive. But it's just funny. I mean, she's like, really, there's something about her, just something incredible.

And I've actually heard people, when they interview her, ask her about that question of why women aren't funny, which just, and, you know, she responds to it, and she doesn't get mad or anything, but How can you ask somebody who is that funny to answer that question? Who has built their career about being funny. Yeah, just, I mean, who's a parallel guy? Well, I guess there are guys you could compare in stature, but she's just so good. But would you ask anyone and comment, why aren't men funny?

Yeah. It seems like a stupid question anyway. Often they aren't. I probably, yeah, but not as a rule. It's stupid to think that women would not be funny.

Yeah, and to ask somebody who is, it's just, I don't know, I guess it's just trolling for the controversy. I guess. I watched the PBS special on Carol Burnett this week. Yeah. And, you know, my mom always watched the Carol Burnett show when I was younger, and even my sister liked her.

And I, you know, I was too young. I didn't get it. I always liked Tim Conway, and I always liked Harvey Korman. Yeah. I didn't really get it on that level.

Yeah. And. I don't know that I've laughed at television. This was a documentary. I don't know that I've laughed at television that much watching it.

Just, yeah, speaking of women in comedy, they were just, in the last year, have started putting together those best of collection of like 40 DVDs or something for the whole run of the show. And just watching that infomercial thing in the middle of the night, I was like, this? And I remembered some of them, but I'm like, watching that, I'm like, this is some of the best comedy ever. Again, watching this, I'm like, this is more consistent of funny skits over just what I'm watching here than most episodes of Saturday Night Live I've seen for the last 20 years. I was like, these already are more consistent with the level of funny than... a lot of skit comedy ever is.

So yeah, there's another example of somebody who's just a woman who's ridiculously funny. Yeah, I just kind of put her in that, I was already in that mind frame, but Lily Tomlin in that same class of, it's not about her being a woman, it's about her just being funny. She's just funny, yeah. She's just got that style and that timing, and yeah, everything about her performances is usually, even the stuff where she can cross over and she can do stuff that's a little more serious, which I think is more of like what she does with her one-woman show. I think it's a little more balanced, but.

I think she was probably limited in this movie. I think movies probably limited her. I think movies in general, well, no, as she went on, like later, but at this point, she was still seen as nothing but comedy. Later, I mean, again, starting with Nashville, I mean, she started off more dramatic, and I think she came back around to do more dramatic stuff, but this middle area, they were giving her more stuff like this, and. It's hard for me to explain how much I hated the movie Short Cuts.

But I hated it, like, a lot. Right. But Lily Tomlin and Tom Waits. Yeah. Those two together.

They were in the right world. Yeah. They created the world that, to me, from reading Raymond Carver's stories, it's like, okay, now we're there. Yeah. We're in, and the rest of it made no sense to me and depressed me.

I think the problem that I had with Short Cuts is. It had a certain amount of clout, that academic clout, even before you even started filming. And so it's supposed to be fantastic. It's supposed to be good. And if you don't get it, well, obviously you're not there yet.

It's already stacking the deck against you. Yeah, and it didn't work for me. I knew all those stories, and all of them, there was like a distinctive thing about them. And maybe it's not just a Raymond Carver ending, but just what makes the story the story. And like the story about the neighbors taking care of somebody else's apartment, and it's like a tiny little story.

They're just taking care of the apartment, and their neighbors, everything's happening for them. They're on vacation. Their jobs are moving ahead. And these people just feel like nothing's going on in their lives. And they go in, and they hang out in the apartment, and they just get comfortable there.

They try on the clothes. They come back, and his wife is like, what were you doing over there? He's like, I was just watering the plants and stuff. But he goes over, and he lays on the bed. And then she goes over, and she's gone forever.

And she comes back, and he's like, yeah, you know what? You see what I mean? She's like, yeah, I found some pictures. And then they go over together, but they've locked the keys in the apartment now, and their neighbors are coming home the next day, and the story ends. With their just leaning against the door.

And it's that ache at the end of the story that is so Raymond Carver. And none of these stories went anywhere. It's just, let's have a fucking earthquake. It's like he tried to cram all the stories together into some sort of spaghetti of storylines and then have an earthquake. No, I just hated it so much.

There's no way. And he said, oh, if you like, the fans of Raymond Carver won't like it. It's like, yeah, because it sucks. But that said, Tom Waits and Emily Tomlin. Yeah, she's a really good actress.

I guess I keep saying things suck. But, I mean, she really, I was thinking back, even at this point, she was doing stuff. I mean, she had the dramatic side because I remember watching that stuff from... her and Richard Pryor. I don't know if that was part of Pryor's place, that thing that he had, but there's those little scenes that they did together that they both kind of show amazing dramatic range that both of them being known for their comedy, especially at that point. It's like that kind of stuff, even early on, showed just how much she can do drama.

I don't know that you get a whole lot of it in this movie, but. And, I don't know, it seems like it kept trying to come to a conclusion and then it just kept going. Like, no, that didn't quite work. Maybe if we do some more stuff for another 10 or 15 minutes we'll find an ending. And then we work in the evil league of evil.

What you are about to hear, gentlemen, Sandra, will deliver us to the threshold of a new era of civilization. We the organization for world management, can be the trailblazers of tomorrow and be assured our place as the power elite forever. What Einstein did for time and space, high notes will do for shape and size. My studies show that a serum could be developed from the blood of what's her name? Pam?

Pat, Pat Kramer. Yes, yes. A shrink serum, which can be used to reduce individuals or entire nations. And using a process not unlike water fluoridation. A few drops in a country's water system would be most effective for shrinking masses of people.

Except, of course, for a few of us. Drink the world. Hey. I like it. In a way, I like that because it was so ridiculous and because, again, you work Henry Gibson into it and it's like that, well, that's obviously, I mean, he seems perfect in the middle of that setting of world domination, so.

But it is funny that, yeah, I mean, they come up with this crazy plot to take over the world with. A shrinking people. Shrinking everybody, yeah. It's, yeah, it's so, like, over the top silly that I almost liked it because, like, again, at that point it took it to the, okay, well, you know, this movie's not going to be taken seriously anyway. Let's go ahead and go there.

It reminded me of in Strange Brew where they were going to have beer that would make everybody take over the world by people mindlessly drinking beer. Yeah. It made no sense. It doesn't have to. It was almost the same style.

Where they had this ultra high-tech, you know, guys that are masterminds that are going to take over the world with beer. Again, maybe that did happen. Sometimes this country seems like it's run by beer. That was actually a documentary. Yeah, yes, it was.

So, I don't know. Yeah, I kind of like, you know, anytime you have somebody with someone with a ridiculous plot to take over the world, maybe because I want one of my own, and I am devising one. Well, you've got to get a monkey. Yeah. It's true.

Let's start with the monkey. Well, mine is I would organize all the middle children of the world into an army because there's just so much bitterness and hatred pent up there. That's true. They're usually pretty damn hostile. All right, let's get to the important stuff.

Okay. Let's get to the appearance by Mr. Whipple. Yep. Oh, yeah.

I didn't even notice. Did anybody notice that I was the boom man on that movie? No. That what? I was the boom man, yeah.

Well, I wonder what you were doing that week, so it's good to know. And then, once again, I think, just a little bit, I'm going to have to like any movie that has a guest appearance by Mike Douglas. Oh, yeah. No kidding. I had forgotten he existed.

Actually, when I saw the name Mike Douglas, I'm like, what is Michael Douglas doing in this movie? And then he came out, and it's like, oh, that guy existed. Michael Douglas instead of. That was weird. I just completely forgot he existed.

This was a good little role. He's got another one? I think we need to get to that movie, too, because that might be the most awesome cameo ever, but we'll get to that later. But yeah, Mike Douglas. Needs to be in more movies.

I don't know what he's doing these days. I don't know why he's not in more movies. I think now he's married to Catherine C. Is that what happened to him? I wondered.

Oh, man. Hey, what's going on here? What do you think you're doing? This is against regulation. You could get us all in a lot of trouble.

We're already in a lot of trouble. Dr. Nortz is planning to use me to shrink the world. I know you don't believe me, but look in my folder. Look, read page 10, the pink page.

Look, read it, you'll see. Shrink the world? Sydney too? All kinds of people, everybody. Oh, please.

If you care about Sydney, if you care about anything, let me go. They really are. Planning to shrink the world. I couldn't place where I knew that kid from the lab. I've seen him in stuff.

And again, I think this is part of why I liked it so much as a kid. And it's funny that he comes in at the dumber portion of the movie. But I remember as a kid, and this is, again, going back to having issues with Friday Night Live, I remember being a big fan of Fridays. Yeah. Friday's was the competition that came on, I guess early, yeah, like 80, I think it started.

And it was the Friday night version of Saturday Night Live. And he was... he became like one of the big stars on that. And he, he definitely, I mean, you see there when he starts acting goofy, that's his thing. So he sort of stole the show. He used to do these, these crazy, I thought that was the funniest thing ever.

If I saw it now, it's probably dumb, but he, yeah, he became, that was, if I remember the same series that, um, Michael Richards was on. Yeah. They both kind of fell into that, you know, the alternative Saturday night live show. So that's where I knew him from even then. And then, yeah, he's, in the you know classic Jekyll and Hyde together again which I think we need to put.

That on the list too but I recognize his voice more than anything and I don't know. He's done a ton of tv he may have been voice work but yeah he's been in a lot of tv over the years so yeah again what is his name the guy in the lab yeah Rob yeah it's it's Mark Blankfield is his name and he's Yeah, he's done a ton of work over the years and been in just about everything for an episode. So, yeah, he's probably familiar to everybody, even if you don't know where. But that's where, yeah, I remembered him from Fridays at the time, which, again, may not even be a good show if I go back and watch it now. So the comedian Julie.

Brown was in this. What was she listed as? She's just listed as TV personality. So it must have been from one of the interviews. Now I might have to go back and watch it.

Could have been, but yeah, I just listed her as... Because, man, me and Julie Brown... This movie was so ugly. Man, some of the hair in this movie. Oh, like, yeah, all the surrounding characters.

Well, it's as bad as the outfit. i mean again i'm hoping it was. Done on purpose yeah because. Yeah the outfits were terrible the hair was terrible the cars the houses so i'm hoping it was all on purpose but it might have just been left over 70s i don't know right i don't. Know who was the actress that um that played the mother that they were trying to sell the canned cheese to. Oh, yeah.

For some reason, I thought I recognized her. She looked, seemed like, oh, I should know who that was. I didn't know if it was supposed to be a cameo or not, or I could just be completely wrong. I don't know. Wasn't she on Pee Wee's Playhouse?

That was my mom. Because I was the boom man. Right. So you had the inside track to get her that gig. I got my mom, I guess.

Concepcion had the last name Smith, by the way, the actress. Doesn't seem very Concepcion-y. No. She could wear that little outfit, though, couldn't she? Yeah.

I thought she was much more attractive without that outfit. She was, but. I wouldn't have sold on the hair, though. The outfit was fine. The hair was not good.

That weird. Front butt. Yeah. Front butt. It was that 80s high back butt, too, where it was like...

They used their lower back as part of their butt. It just didn't work. It was so flash dance to me. Yeah. I still think it's the little moments.

Like when they come out of the institute and they're taking that screaming box in. I'm sorry, that killed me. The fact that nobody reacts to it. They just walk down the stairs and they're all distraught over their own story. And I was just like, does nobody else see that box screaming and moving?

I had it down low because it was late at night and kids and everything. And I had the, because a lot of times I'll turn it down low enough and put the subtitles on. The subtitles was just for about 30 seconds, you know, from the time they start walking out the door until they're in the car, it just said, ah, ah. It didn't say anything else, just ah. And I nod.

The giggle phase from that part. See, I'm telling you. That was my response. I was just like, that's funny. If you hadn't seen that box, it would have been even funnier.

I just watched this movie, but I don't remember that part. I think I was busy burning myself with a hot glue gun. I don't want to know what you were up to at this point. There's like a little hand coming out of a box. Oh, that's right.

You were on Project Runway. Yeah, I was on Project Runway. And your model had gained weight, and you had to, like, hot glue the. Yeah. Awful.

You know, speaking of... My boyfriend's dad was telling me the story how he used to run into men all the time that looked exactly like his dad. Like, this has happened two times. He'd see guys, like, who looked exactly like his dad. And we were talking about how everyone supposedly has, like, seven exact lookalikes in the world.

And it's just like, aside from the Project Runway girl, I don't think I know of any. It's weird because people are always mistaking other people for me. And apparently the Fonz thought I was somebody. He did. Very nice to meet you.

I think he thought I was Sling Blade. I don't know what he thought. He thought I was somebody. We'll go with it. We'll make use of it.

My brother is like. went to a concert when we were on our teens and I didn't go. And he apparently saw somebody there who looked just like me and went up and started talking to him and said, hey, I didn't think you were going to go after. You get here. And the guy just backed away from him. But that happens to me all the time.

There are all these people that look more or less like me. I went to the drive-thru at the Dairy Queen to get a coffee once, which they didn't have good coffee at all. Yeah, that's your first mistake. But I was in a hurry. And. pulled up, it's early in the morning, and I didn't even think of much, and she goes, she goes.

Oh, you're not getting the twin pack today? And I said, what? And she goes, you always get the twin pack. I said, I've never been to this Dairy Queen place. And I just drove off.

She had to have thought that I was somebody else. Wait, you just drove off at that point? Well, I got my coffee and drove off. He didn't pay for it. It would have been much cooler if you just went, fuck this.

I've never been here before. See ya. Right, but it was so awkward. And then as I'm driving down the road drinking my bad coffee thinking, oh... She thought I was somebody.

She really thought I was someone else. You didn't get your twin pack today. Why didn't you get your twin pack? I didn't know what a twin pack was. I was mentioning it to somebody and they said, yeah, that's two sausage biscuits that.

Come in the same pack. I said, what if you want one? He said, no, you get two. Anyway, sorry if you want one. You're not talking about your movie.

Twin packs. That's right. This was definitely that era of PG movies that sometimes weren't PG anymore. Yeah, it's funny because, you know, as a parent, you remember movies like, you know, the R rating changed. Oh, drastically at this point.

And also just other things changed. There were like some pretty scuzzy things back in the 70s that you think, oh, it'll be nice, you know, for the kids to watch this movie, I remember. And then they're watching it and you're like, oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah.

That's not right. Well, that's, yeah, I'm watching this, and I remember it as kind of like this family-friendly movie, and like two minutes in, they're like, hey, what does this taste like? This tastes like shit. I was just like, oh. The kid's giving them.

Yeah. The kids are making obscene gestures, and I was just like, yeah, this was that era when you could just kind of do whatever the hell you wanted and still be PG. The most disturbing part of this movie, I think, is where the dad comes home. And the kids sneak out of bed, and they're. Like.

And then they're like, are you trying to listen at the door? And I'm like, yeah, they are. And they've got, like, green stuff around them. Just to make it nicer. And it's not, are they doing it?

It's, are they doing it yet? Yeah. And then they just look at each other and knowingly nod. Yep. Fucking.

I don't know. That was really creepy. Yeah, that part was kind of disturbing. Yeah. With their children of the corn cuts.

Yeah. You know, those kids look exactly like a kid in another movie, and I can't think of what movie. That kid was probably in a bunch of movies. No, it's like. A bad haircut, yeah.

Maybe just all kids looked like that. At that point, yeah. I think everybody had that same haircut. I think my mom had that haircut in the 80s. She was an adult.

She definitely has an 80s haircut still, but. A totally different one. I do like when it switches from movie into commercial mode, which I guess would be making the statement that they're trying to make, but when your life actually becomes a commercial and suddenly they're you know, the theme song's playing, and you're gluing it together with the product, and it really, like, it could be taken out and used as a commercial. Oh, yeah. I don't know, I thought that was kind of, like, clever, the way they worked it in.

It made me think of Six Feet Under. You know, have you, no, in Six Feet Under, have you ever seen it? Yeah, I don't have that channel. Okay. Well, it's like, they'll be doing something, and then it'll cut away to this, like, cheesy commercial for, like, some weird mortuary-related product.

Yeah. Like, face, pace, face, pace. I don't know. Again, I thought that was cool. That was still in the first half when they were kind of working some clever stuff in there.

Do you all have the kinds of friends, like, you know, I've been really focused on my kids and, like, maybe not as close to people as I could be otherwise, but do you have friends who, like, if a vase in your house broke, would stand around and watch you put it back together. Well, it becomes an event then. I mean, you're all going to gather around and watch it. That looks like, until that point, a swingers party. Yeah.

It kind of, but maybe that was just those pink pants. Nobody gets to screw until the vase gets fixed. It looks like a swingers party and everybody's ugly. Yeah. Isn't that how they work?

Lily Tomlin, I give her a pass for some reason. There's just something about her. And the other Lily Tomlin. I don't know about the other Lily Tomlin. I don't think I could go that far.

You know, she wasn't that dissimilar. No, that's the thing. I was like, if you're going to have a, you know, why wouldn't they get a point of it? That just seems so lazy. There's a laziness at work in that movie.

Again, I think it was just advertising your star. And I think she was just, I've got fans from this, I've got fans from this, and I'm going to kind of work them all into one project. And she deserves her fans. Yeah. You know, but.

It's not one of, I'm just saying it's not one of those projects, it banks on you loving Lily Talman. It's not one of the ones that makes you love her. No. Well, it was one of those, I saw it and I kind of went, they do look a little too close. I was like, most people are kind of dumb.

I'm like, I'm surprised it didn't confuse people more than it probably did. But I'm just like, you would think they would assume that the audience is dumb and make her look really different. But she's just kind of a shade different. I don't know. The Galaxy Glue song at the end of the movie, it's like it was kind of about Galaxy Glue and then also about something completely different.

And you're like, what the fuck? It's still about glue? I don't get it. It was catchy as hell. That song was epic.

I remember as a kid going around with that stuck in my head. It doesn't fucking sense. It doesn't matter. It's about glue and then it's about something else. But you don't know why.

You're just like, what? That song's awesome, I'm sorry. Still no glue? If the movie didn't need to exist for any other reason than for that song to come into being, then it's worth it. That song is ridiculous and too damn catchy, and you know we're going out on it, so everybody else is going to experience the wonder of the Galaxy Glue song.

It's a jingle, and then it's a song, and then it keeps going on. Oh, wait, those already exist. That's a real word. Damn it. It's a John and John.

God, there needs to be a better word for this. You know, that probably is. That's very, you know, when you deconstruct single, a song, it is kind of a, especially with pop, it is kind of a single and it is a song. It's very, very astute of you. I've never thought about that before.

I just like, creating etymology from my ass. Nice. You learn that with children, too. You just make shit up and they buy it. Santa Claus and God stuff, yeah.

I can't wait till that day when I can just be like, you know, you know the reason that the grass is green? Gnome poop. I'm not putting you in charge of my non-existent children. Eh, I'd be fine. Actually, I was just thinking about how, what things that my niece, who's almost two, is ready for, like, to be exposed to culturally.

Oh, God. I'm just like, what does she need to know? That's so hard. At this constant thing, like, you know. What are they ready for, yeah.

It's a judgment call. I kind of gave up on it at some point. Because, you know, nowadays in school, like, The reading list, there are all these new books that kids are reading, and I think they're like, oh, contemporary stuff, it gets kids involved, and that's great, but they don't really read all the stuff that they probably ought to read. Or at least where my kids were, I was really happy with their school and everything, except what they're reading. And I'd hear kids at another school are reading Kafka, and it's like, why can't we do that?

But this year, my daughter's reading Hamlet and Frankenstein. Why? I mean, that's weird that they just haven't... I thought you were just expected to read that in school or not. Shouldn't you just have read that already?

No. No, apparently not. They've been reading all sorts of other crap that I hate. And then she had this... hipster doofus English teacher one year when you'd think some of that would have got done. She was just reading bizarre fantasy crap that he liked because he's a religious pothead.

That's a magical combination. Like Robert Anton Wilson or something? Well, I'm going to get in trouble, but she read two books of Lord of the Rings. Another book of Lord of the Rings in school? It doesn't necessarily seem like a school book.

I remember being a nerdy kid and reading that, but it was on my own. People who are going to read that are going to read that. For crying out loud. And then that was the year that the kids at another school were reading Kafka. And I'm like, oh, come on, you're not going to read another one?

Yes, they read another one. Yeah, you introduce them to it, and if they like it, then they'll search it out on Earth. That's the point. Sure. Yeah, Frankenstein.

And it occurred to me, because we were talking about that doppelganger thing earlier in the pre-show. During the pre-show, we were talking about the Fight Club doppelganger thing. It occurred to me, like, I really loved Frankenstein when I was a kid, the book. It was one of the first books that appealed to me intellectually. But it occurred to me, it never occurred to me before, that, like, Dr.

Frankenstein and the Monster... sort of a doppelganger relationship you. Become a monster i never thought about that yeah but uh it once you think about it you can't unthink it it like it seems like well that could be an obvious way of looking at. It almost becomes the theme that they keep going back to when they keep remaking the story in different forms. Yeah yeah and that was also uh one of those things that when I was a kid, like the difference between the book and the movie versions just flabbergasted me until, you know, there was, you know, they, they, there were a couple of versions that tried to do the real book. Yeah.

Uh, cause it, the subtext was almost like the opposite. Yeah. It's like, why would they do that? Just to piss me off? Exactly.

Yeah. Well said, what can I do to piss? Yeah. Yeah. There's going to be a guy that we need to piss off.

He's not here yet, but I know he's coming. What can I do? All right, so are we ready to get to the wrap-up on this? All right, let's wrap it up. So, in our favorite part of the movie, the end, it really does, and it's funny that you used that term earlier, because that's exactly what I thought of as I'm watching... the cops.

I'm like, this has become Keystone Cops. I mean, they're just running around, tripping over each other, and it's exactly, yeah, it's. Going in and out. The door scene of going in and out. I felt like a segment in Scooby-Doo.

Like, they might have just started playing the music. Well, that kid has sort of a shaggy vibe about him. I felt that watching the movie, that he could play shaggy. I guess so. But yeah, it's definitely got that, like, all the higher... comedy of a Scooby-Doo segment.

And then the Keystone Cut. So again, they're going with really basics here. They're really drawing from some pretty basic levels of comedy, some of which don't hold up as the years go on. And then, yeah, the highbrow comedy of a gorilla flipping you off. So it does...

Take sort of a downwards dive there. You know, I kind of... I laughed at that one because. I. Mean, it was completely intentional that he was the most human of all the people there.

Yeah. And that, you know. And the smartest one in the room, too. And so. I don't know.

Because I do think that there's a certain part of it that was, this is the movie we want. To do and this is the movie that we had to make. Yeah. And. He flips off, you know, it's the camera angle of he's facing you.

And he flips you off. He doesn't flip off, you know, a scanning picture. And so it's kind of like a, yeah, fuck you. So, I don't know. I was like, oh, I see what they're doing there.

So I kind of like that part. Jill Schumacher hates this. I see what you're saying. You know, maybe the people that, I don't know. I hope that's what it.

Was, perhaps. While we're on Sidney, I guess we have to give credit. That is Rick Baker. He played Sidney and did the makeup, and this was the same year that he got the Oscar for the special recognition, the first year they ever gave an Oscar for Best Special Effects Makeup. and he got that for American Werewolf that year. So this is actually that, right as he was starting, right as that whole industry was starting to kind of be taken seriously and being, you know, sort of that being a key thing when you're doing this kind of a project is to bring in somebody who actually knows what they're doing, and it's about as good as a fake gorilla can look.

I mean, you just can't make a gorilla look real, you know? It's like, that's why they CG them all now. That's why you get, you know, like the new version of King Kong, because... Otherwise, it's either a mechanical gorilla or it's a guy in a suit, neither of which really play like a real gorilla. You can get close.

You can get decent shots here and there, but it's just never. There's something about it that can never look exactly right. I thought it was pretty good. But yeah, I mean, again, that's, you know, you've got somebody who knows what they're doing. So he did about as good as you can do doing makeup on somebody to look like a gorilla.

I still think that was unnecessary. Yeah. The whole part. The only thing I can see is then you've got her tiny. So you do work in this, this whole King Kong overtone that you get him carrying her around there.

Yeah. I thought that's what they were going to, again, maybe budget was cut. And instead of climbing the building, he gets to go in a parking lot of a grocery store. So, I mean, it, Again, maybe that was all budget cuts that threw that off. But yeah, it does seem like there's a very obvious attempt to do a King Kong overtone here.

And they don't do that much with it, but yeah, it's definitely there. I got a chuckle when they're all sitting around watching the news conference. Or, excuse me, they're filming her giving her little speech before she falls into the goo. And they're all standing around in a huddle looking over her. And nobody pays.

Attention to the fact that they're standing next to you in a crowd with a gorilla. He's kind of like hanging out shoulder to shoulder with him. And he's watching, paying attention too. Nobody gives a damn. To me, the part that.

Was even more ridiculous and funny was, when they were done and she finishes her speech, and then they all just sort of walk away, including the gorilla. Yeah, I noticed that. That was drawn. He and Mark just sort of wander off together, and I was just like, does anybody notice that gorilla. In the parking lot?

It's dangerous. gorilla which jump ahead a few minutes to the next moment when i went whoa whoa did they just give people gorillas you can just have one in your bed just. Sitting in the kid's bed can we keep him of course of course i was like he's not he's not a stray dog it's a fucking gorilla. Look what the gorilla taught me to do with my fingers I'm sure those kids already knew how to do that. They knew a lot already. You know, there really are a lot of stories about people who have tried to keep, like...

Pets. Yeah. That don't need to be pets. And they are pets, you know, for a while until one day they're not. And then they just rip people to pieces.

Well, that chimpanzee a few years ago... Did it maul her? Did she die? It like ripped her arms off. That's what I was thinking of.

And then there were some other stories. Well, then this will be a happy ending because those kids will be mauled. And you really didn't like those kids. Yeah, I really didn't. And it reminds me, who's the cartoonist?

Was it, oh, am I thinking of Roz Chast? No, there's cartoonists who used to turn up on Letterman every now and then. It's not Roz Chast. It's just somebody I associate with her. But she's really funny, but she was telling a story about her trip to Africa, and they're kind of on safari, and they're in a jeep, and they're going through, and then they're surrounded by gorillas, just all of a sudden.

And their guide is saying, just don't move, because if something sets them off, they will just attack us, and they're super strong, and they'll just rip us to pieces. And she said the only thing she could think of was how everybody back home would say, that's how she would have wanted to go. Is it? Yeah. Is that really how anybody wants to go?

To shreds by gorillas. Oh, that's how she would have wanted to go. That's how she would have wanted it. Yes, yes. Well, I do like the other message at the end of this, after all this, like, evil chemicals are ruining the work in the end toxic soup will save us yeah it's the only hope for us really is this toxic soup of random.

Crap sort of wiggles around to let us know it's working. It's not done yet i'm confused about how she grew back like what happened She. Drank a lot of the toxic soup and that magically fixed it. In the parking lot. Somebody drops a bunch of groceries, breaks it all, mixes together, and she falls into it when she's tiny.

And then you see it sort of wobble around or something. She says something when she's big, like, hey, why did it happen? She says, oh, I drank gallons of it, you know, because she's swimming in it. And then, I guess, you know, drowning in it. And then instantly became big.

Toxic soup? You know, what bothered me was the whole world is watching this broadcast of this woman miraculously come back. And she's like, hey, it's me, it's me. And they're like, hey, see you later. Yeah, they all just leave.

They all just leave. They don't interview her. They don't look at her for more than about 30 seconds. Hey, great to see you back. Yeah, that's nice.

That's nice. It's neighborly. I like that. They freaked out for like a year. And she's on the cover of every magazine.

She's got hour-long specials about her. And she's on Mike Douglas. And now, oh, she's back. See you later. Good night.

Hey, I don't know how the movie wrapped up. Yeah, see you later. Yeah, we're done with this now. Move along. So, I don't know, I think it is interesting that coming out of the late 70s, as this was, that there wasn't more of an environmental message.

Like, I really expected, when I was trying to think about that, I was expecting them to be like, these chemicals are evil, and they're gonna, you know, they totally gloss over that. This movie's starting a little short. My gorilla is flipping you off right now. So thank you and again i kind of back up i i'm ignoring that so the uh i expected more of a an environmental thing to come out it's like they totally didn't care about that they really hardcore with this anti-consumerism thing yeah and this like being slaves to products and you know totally like letting advertising there's a lot of fun little moments in advertising where they're you know making fun of these ads and the way that they just kind of scam people into liking stuff that's total crap.

So I think that part's kind of clever, but it is funny how much they totally could care less about the evil chemicals, really, in the grand scheme of things. They're way more concerned with the anti-consumerism portion, which is really. It's weird to see, like, an anti-consumerist... consumerist thing from the 70s when they didn't even have iPods. How did these people fucking live? That's my question.

That's what I thought was weird. This is like 81 at the latest by the time it comes out. We really hadn't even hit the consumerism. I'm still hoping this is like the release of the iPhone that will make life bearable for me. Because I'm not happy, man.

I'm still working on that. I'm waiting for the thing to come along that's going to make life tolerable they haven't come up with it yet well yeah. Kind of like these Steve Jobs' past how are we going to know what to buy next I know if he's not introducing it to. Us Bill Gates has crap I know I keep buying. I know Bill Gates is going to found like a movie company and it's going to be like error message the movie for.

Two hours we're going to be watching this request cannot be processed before error yeah time to reboot yeah So, I don't know, I just thought it was really funny that there's this super anti-consumerism message in. 81, well before the complete materialism that became the 80s. Like, that's what it's known for, is completely being a materialistic span of time when that's all we were concerned with as a country. Maybe if they had made a better movie, we wouldn't have had all this. It could be.

That's the thing, you look back on it, it's like, there's a lot of cool stuff that those poor idiots didn't have yet. And they're like all anti-consumer products. It's like, look, wait a little while, because there's going to be some good stuff coming along. Right now, you guys are, you know, the most cool thing you're pitching here is the feminine hygiene spray. Yeah.

You're like, wait until we get to iPods. You ain't seen nothing yet. Yeah, well, they haven't got the iPad yet. That's the feminine hygiene. This is for our angry birds.

Yeah, I mean, how did these bastards get by? They might have actually gotten stuff accomplished in their day. Her kids wouldn't have been so annoyed. Well, she just would have blocked them out and put her headphones on. She would have just put a DVD in the DVD player.

They'd just be on their laptops, and you'd hear them giggle every now and then. As they watch porn. Yeah. Like all kids, yeah. This is what this world needs.

Well, it is funny sometimes. Oh, it's funny. Yeah. Oh, man. It's what every kid needs to be grazed on.

Well, you know, I think the problem is that kids don't have a woman that, especially the mentally retarded people, don't have someone teaching them erotica. No. Yeah. There's a callback most people will not get. Special needs children need someone to teach them erotica.

It's very important. Hey, if you haven't listened, never mind. You're going to have to find me. That's a quest. That's a challenge.

If you haven't heard that story. I think all episodes from here on out should be nothing but references to previous episodes. So new listeners will have to backlog and just listen to every episode ever. We're not going to tell them which episode. You have to listen to all previous episodes.

I'll give you a hint. No surprise. It's another magical Marlena moment. So go back and find it. Find out what episode it is.

It was a caffeinated movie geek episode. I don't think so. Maybe not. Marlena is dancing. For those of you at home who cannot.

It was sort of funky chicken. But she's seated. That's all I know. Funky chicken and creepy peeper. The seated funky chicken.

Oh, so have we finished The Incredible Shrinking Woman? You know what? We're wrapping this up about as badly as they did. Yeah. I think we've said all we need to say.

There needs to be like a podcast equivalent of the Monty Python shoe that comes down. I think there needs to be a podcast equivalent of a monkey flipping you off. And it might just be this episode. Oh, Lord. Is there anything else you need to round out this episode?

No. Let's just keep it short. That's a little late. About four hours ago. We didn't describe all the artwork.

We could read aloud the postings on the board over there. For the love of God, just start the Galaxy Glue song. Yes. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week.

Same gig time, same gig feed. Thanks for listening. A part of me, like my anatomy. Much like the stars are to the sky Look up and there's another one to buy And I wonder why I can't live my life without them They stick to me, they stick to. You Galaxy glue, galaxy glue, what would we do without galaxy glue?

Galaxy glue, galaxy. Glue, life would go to pieces without galaxy glue. For sex appeal and for my thrills and ills. They all make claims to be the best Try one and there's a better one to test Then it comes to me Stop. And think they couldn't possibly Be all they say, worth all I pay.

Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue What would we do without Galaxy Glue Galaxy Glue, Galaxy. Glue Life would go to pieces without galaxy. Glue Desirable, I'm so desirable Right. Close to me they wanna be They promise that they'll take good care of me I just. Love them all But they make me seem so very small They look to me, I look to them Galaxy.

Glue, galaxy glue What would we do without galaxy glue? Galaxy glue, galaxy glue Life would go to pieces without galaxy glue Galaxy Blue, Galaxy Blue What would we do without Galaxy Blue? What we'd like you to do is look in the camera and say, Mmm, tastes. Like real cheddar cheese. You don't think it does?

You really don't? It doesn't? Well, what does it taste like? Shit. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown.

Produced and edited by The Oddity Studios. with opening music performed by the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!