150: Caught Somewhere in Time with The Doug Jones Experience

Hey, I'm Doug Jones from Hellboy 1 and 2, Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer, and Pan's Labyrinth. But today, you're listening to Movie Meltdown. Music The following program is a proud member of the Palover family of podcasts. Check out all the shows over at palover.com. That's P-A-L-A-V-E-R dot com.

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. It's showtime. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. Provide more cooling in the containment chambers.

To your stations, we have a movie meltdown. We're sending you back to the future! What's up and. Welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian.

I am Misty. I am still Jay. I was not done introducing myself. You've done that. I'm Lucy.

Don't interrupt third squabble. I'm going to start. My name is Misty. There you go. That's where you're going with it?

After all that? I had to make sure I was done. I feel justified. Oh, Lord. I knew it until he was drinking water first so he couldn't interrupt me again.

Cagey. Well, with that, we're obviously back here at the previously unnamed touring convention. It's like we never left. It seems like it, doesn't it? We may or may not still be invading Randy's room.

We totally are. We're still staring at his kiwis. Seems inappropriate, but whatever. It could be Lisa's kiwis. I don't know.

Now you're just starting rumors. There's six of them. Maybe they each have three kiwis. More celebrity rumors this week. Randy and Lisa are celebrities.

They are celebrities on this show. They are. They are rock stars. Alright, so let's head into the geek activities this week. Aside from the movie I watched that we'll be discussing later, there wasn't a whole lot.

There's one that I'm going to mention, but I still don't think we should talk about it at great length, because I almost think we just need to go ahead and do a whole episode, because we're geeks and we'll talk about it enough anyway. I did watch The Ward. I love that movie. See, and as we've said before, we need to talk about it, but it's like nothing but spoilers and mobs. Can we talk about how Amber Heard runs in that movie?

Go ahead. She runs. No. It's fantastic. She runs in everything.

She either runs or rides a bike. She has fabulous legs. I don't want to argue that. Amber's quite the looker. And she has fantastic legs.

I mean, seriously. She'll have to bring them over. I don't know. Did I have a better shot than you do? Not necessarily.

Not according to TMZ the other day. Oh, they lie. I think they lie. Because she was also getting into a car with a chick when they said this. Her and her chick have been together for years.

That's what I'm saying. I was like, TMZ's full of shit. Anyways, I like the movie. I like the movies that it ripped off. We'll get to that later.

Anyway, so yeah, I did watch The Ward, but I think we just need to break down and have a little thing on that one. So we'll come back to The Ward later. So between now and then, go watch it. So about the only other thing I watched was I watched Peep World. What?

Which is probably different than what you're thinking. Peep shows? No, it doesn't. Marshmallows? Not that I can remember.

I really want. That movie made, by the way. That's the one tie-in film that's never happened. Or peep shows and marshmallows. Well, peeps.

The peeps films. Hmm. I hate peeps, but. But would it be, like, a peep show involving peeps? Grandmas do love them.

She sits them out for a week until they get hard. She opens them up, leaves them on the cabinet for a week until they get, like, crunchy. And then she eats them. Wait, purposefully? Purposefully.

Wow. She will open them and leave them out just so they don't get hard. So she'll eat them. I love my grandma. I love that eccentricity.

She's special. See, if Marlena was here, she would tell you about the time she ate a whole thing of peeps, like, from the right of the store to her house, and then. She felt sick. I'll tell it to you instead. I was with her.

Her telling crazy stories on her show? Never. She brought, like, several things of peeps. And she ate them all. But were they involved in some sort of peep show action?

I don't think they were. Not that I'm aware of. None of this took place in this movie. It's actually a much different movie than the title would lead you to believe. It's like a family drama comedy show. mostly comedy well that sounds lame but sort of a depressing comedy it's a family that's like completely messed up and it's actually not bad i guess i watched it mostly because michael c hall's in it and i do remember the trailer i remember seeing that he was making something else and i was just like oh okay he's trying.

Was he downstairs was he at the convention he was supposed to be here wasn't he michael c. Hall no i'm thinking of Anthony Michael. Yeah, you're right. Anthony Michael Hall. He wasn't here, was he?

He was there. I actually saw him when we first walked in. Yeah, he walked past me. Oh, crap. I was going to say, hey, what's up?

What's up, Rusty? You didn't say anything last time you saw him. Did I? He was at the Comic Con. Yeah, I did saw him there.

Was he at the Comic Con? Yes, he was at the Comic Con. He looks a. Little different now. Yeah, he does look different now.

He looks very different than back in the day when he was a goofy teenage boy. Yeah. I guess that's good, really. Who's Michael C. Hall?

It's Dexter. I like Dexter. Yeah. But I don't like his face. I like him on the show.

I'm okay with him on the show, but I don't like all the box art for the DVDs or any of the promotionals for Dexter. He has this little smarmy, smug little smirk that I want to beat. Off his face. I have a hard time getting past him from. Six feet under, because I remember six feet under, and he was good in that.

I like that show. But yeah, the Dexter thing, I still expect him to run a funeral home. It would be pretty convenient. Yeah, that would come in handy. I don't know.

Working homicide might come in a little more handy. He has a lot of really convenient things at his fingertips working at the old homicide. But no, in this one, he's a total normal guy, and he's sort of the oldest child in this family, this massively dysfunctional family. You've got some of the other kids. You've got Rainn Wilson as the next brother.

Oh, my God. Then Sarah Silverman. It's a messed up family. I like Sarah Silverman. Yeah.

I think I vaguely remember seeing that trailer. Yeah. When I first saw it listed, I was like, what the hell is that? And then I saw the rundown. I was like, No, I do remember a trailer of this.

I don't remember much about it, but I remember that it got made last year at some point. Yeah, was that ever released? That's what I don't know. I don't remember seeing it come out in theaters. It just showed up on the TV one day.

Magically. I watched it in the magic box in my house. It's good. It's not great. I think that's what it is.

It's got potential there. I mean, it's supposed to be... This, you know, kind of crazy. To me, it's almost kind of working like a Royal Tenenbaums kind of feel. Like, it's trying to get this big family, and they're massively dysfunctional, and it's got this kind of really rapid-fire witty dialogue a lot of the time, but somehow it's like it misses somewhere along the way.

I don't know what it is. It's like a lot of the stuff that's in it is really funny, and there's stuff that's really well-written, but at the same time, somewhere along the way, it just seems like it doesn't finish when it starts. I don't know. It seems like it's got potential to be really good with all those people involved and with some of the writing, and then it just sort of fizzles out midway in? I don't know.

Is one of the characters, like, writing a tell-all book about the family? Yeah, the youngest brother writes a book that's supposedly fictional, but everybody knows it's about his family, and he goes on talking about it. And, yeah, I mean... I don't know. The younger brother's kind of obnoxious, too.

They're all really, like, they're not the most, I mean, Michael C. Hall's probably the most likable of the bunch. The rest of them are just a mess. So, I guess that, again, you have to get into the comedy style more than the characters, because you can't really get on board with most of the characters. So, it's interesting.

I'm glad I watched it, but it's not a great movie. It's just, it was a fun watch. I like the people in. It, but. You don't make me want to see it.

You probably wouldn't like it anyway. Why would not? But that's pretty much all I watched. My turn? How about you?

Me and Jay watched a shitload of Supernatural. Imagine? I know, right? I know, right? So yeah, we are, what, almost halfway through season six now?

Yeah. We watched at least one episode a day. That's why it's taking us a little while. Because sometimes we just don't have time to watch a lot. And so far, season six is kind of a disappointment.

It's kind of lacking. It's not as, I don't know, it just seems to be missing something. Probably because it was supposed to end at the end of season five. I don't know. They're just reaching for shit now.

We've been watching a lot of Supernatural, so we really haven't watched that many movies. We watched Psycho on Halloween. That's kind of what we do now. It's a tradition. I love Psycho.

As long. As you don't say, I love Vince Vaughn in the next sentence. I hate Vince Vaughn. Not that psycho. That's not psycho.

That movie is why I hate Vince Vaughn. It did kind of, it was a turning point for me. I was like, oh, yeah, this guy's got potential. No, fuck that guy. Yeah, fuck that guy.

And then he kind of fucked up his own career. Now he makes a lot of questionable comedies. Yeah. Then, by myself, I watched the Wonderfall series. Which is still one of my favorite shows.

I loved that show when it came on. And it got canceled after like four episodes. Which they made like. 13 episodes, I guess, maybe. So there was a whole bunch that just didn't air.

It's fun. It's quirky. And it was really well written. And most people don't know what the hell I'm talking about when I mention Wonderfall. I remember it being on.

Who worked at Niagara Falls. And she gets hit in the head with a penny. Or a quarter or something. And then animals start talking to her. But not like real animals. like fake animals like stuffed animals or any kind of like figurine anything that has a face I think that's what she decides any animal with a face figurine talks to her and tells her to do things it's awesome and it's funny even though it really sounded lame from what I just said.

I remember the promos where it looked kind of interesting very different than what normally ends up on network TV which. Is why it didn't last it was very quirky and it was really funny and it was really it was kind of a sweet show she falls in love with a guy. It always makes no sense when they shoot an entire season with the stuff and just don't ever play it. I'm like, there's a lot of useless crap on TV. Really?

You can't work this in for another season? That's it? Just take some of the other nonsense off. Take a couple of reality shows off. Yeah, fuck a bunch of reality shows.

Jesus. But I watched a couple movies by myself because they had Jensen Ackles in them. Imagine that. I know, right? I re-watched My Bloody Valentine 3D.

I tried to watch it with the little 3D glasses and the 3D version, and the 3D still looks halfway okay, but it just makes everything else look retarded. It made Jensen Nichols look like purple, and nobody wants to see a purple Jensen Nichols. It's just weird, you know? And the movie, it's still fun. Granted, it's not a great masterpiece or whatever, but I enjoy it.

I liked that one. For that type of movie, it was pretty well made. Watching it in the theater was awesome. I still think it's some of the best 3D in a horror movie. It is.

Well, I mean, it's, again, I've only seen a handful of 3D movies, half of which have been terrible. The 3D-wise, I've just, as far as the 3D technology goes, that was still to this day. Yeah, it wasn't even just, like, the gimmicks. Like, the whole scenes, like, The foreground and the background, everything, it felt real. You know, like, real, but, you know, better than.

They put a. Lot of time in just the 3D aspect of that one. And it was fun. I enjoyed it. And then I watched Devour.

Which is great. It was stupid. And, like, I watched it because it had Jensen Eccleston in it. I don't want to keep saying his name just because it's kind of fun. You just like saying it.

I do. It said Jensen Eccleston. But it's about. They start off. The premise as being, like, oh, it's one of them crazy computer games, and the internet, and oh man, and the computer, and you sign up for this game, and then you start getting phone calls, and it starts to tell you to do stuff.

Or any of them Samuel L. Jackson. No. Telling you to go see Snake Son. That would be awesome.

That was awesome, by the way. It was awesome. But yeah, it's just him, and apparently, I think he's the. Son of the devil, maybe? Maybe.

Or a witch? We're never really sure on the premise here. I like these kind of premises. Satanic beast or whatever. Yeah, apparently he's the son of this.

Yeah, that's all I got for that, really. It was just... It was retarded, is what it was. I don't think I watched anything else. I probably did, I just can't remember right now.

What about you, Honey Bunny? Did you watch anything? I didn't watch anything. I spent most of my time Forging a blade for Randy. A magnificent blade.

That's a very geeky activity, so you can go into that slightly. I don't know how that started. Actually, I think it started with me making a comment about making Randy a grappling hook. Which is so totally not a machete. Yeah, well.

I don't know why I didn't make him a grappling hook. Maybe because. You decided it wouldn't be practical. Yeah, I figured it wouldn't be practical. Because, I mean, you know.

It's a grappling hook. Why do you want to climb trees and kill zombies? Yeah, I want something, you know, whatever. Who knows? First you have to make him that Batman gun that fires the grappling hook.

Yeah, well. Please do that. I don't know. But we got a bunch of crap at my work for people who don't know what I do. I do a lot of metalworking.

And so I kind of figured, hey, I'll just take this piece of steel and, Make a blade out of it, and we fired it in the oven, and, you know, heat treated it, and tool hardened it, sharpened it, and formed a nice, cool-looking blade. Kind of reminds, well, just to describe it, I guess, if you don't have a picture of it. Looks a bit like an orc sword. We can... had a picture in our Secret Circle exclusive. Yeah, you can add it in there.

It's kind of a pry bar, kind of a machete, kind of an orc sword, kind of a butcher knife. And all kinds of awesome. And all kinds of awesome. Misty did the handle for it. I helped.

You did more than help. You wove the handle for it because I was getting ready to throw it through the living room window. More than anything, you kept him from using it. That was the most important part. You almost impaled our couch.

Yeah, I'm kind of disappointed I didn't get to kill any coconuts with it, but that's usually how I test out stuff. I figure coconuts are the closest thing I can get to human skulls. Wow. That you can talk about on here. Well, yeah.

I mean, really. But, yeah. It's done. And I'm Making another one. Place your orders now.

Yeah. Send lots of cash. Maces, Warhammers, and Blades of Destruction. PayPal account is set up. That's what I did this week.

Instead of taking a break. Awesome. I didn't watch anything. You watched something with the kid. I did?

Oh yeah, I did, didn't I? I watched... I don't know what I watched. You watched an episode of Mystery Science Theater. Yeah, but which one?

I don't remember. Me neither. It's a good story. I don't know why I brought it up then. Crap.

What did we watch? Oh, we went back and re-watched Cave Dwellers. She loves that damn movie. She loves Cave Dwellers, and I'm not even sure why. Maybe she needs to graduate to Beastmaster, because Cave Dwellers?

Not Beastmaster. Not so much. Beastmaster is the best movie ever or. It may just be because she thinks that's one of the funniest episodes but whatever you need to introduce her. To Mitchell starring John Sexton she's probably already seen Mitchell Mitchell's awesome I think she has because we've watched just about every single mystery science theater there is some she likes more than others uh some she's punching me on the couch telling me to wake up she's like.

Dad come on you're falling asleep again. Yeah they're still dwelling in the cave. Yeah i'm like what no i was totally awake your eyes were shut i was. That guy said something funny yeah yeah i remember. So yeah i think that's all i watched uh no no i went back and watched old uh All things of Max Hedrum on YouTube.

Oh, that's right. You were talking about that earlier. So, yeah. Max Hedrum, he's great. As usual, a lot of things in the 80s don't seem to live up to the way they used to.

No, because I remember thinking Max Hedrum was the coolest. But then I was just like. I don't know. Even back in the day, I was kind of like, he just is annoying. Stop with the stuttering already.

I don't know. I thought it was cool. But I was annoying when I was a kid. I mean, yeah. Those cool backgrounds and those shades.

Sure, but... Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like me and you were talking about on the way up here about how, like, during the 80s, older people were cool. Rodney Dangerfield, Max Hedrum.

He was rapping Rodney for you. Yeah, but, I mean, people that were, like, in their 40s and 50s were cool with kids. But, like, nowadays, kids don't give a crap about adults. Adults don't get them. They're not cool.

Adults are dumb. They're not going to be doing anything. They kind of are, really. They are. That is one of my major complaints about certain people. kids tv programming and it's the reason why my daughter doesn't watch uh i carly anymore because all the adults are portrayed as idiots in it and they don't know what's going on the kids are constantly pulling fast ones on them and my kids started getting an attitude and i was like you know what this shit's gonna stop right now there you go carly yeah no i carly for you because you get you get a little sassy attitude and i don't like that don't put up with that crap.

I'm sorry. I'm generally pretty cool about stuff. But, yeah, don't start sassing me. You draw the line at iCarly. I draw the line at iCarly, yeah.

But that's the extent of my geek week. Mostly just making weapons. That's always a good activity. Making weapons and repairing barber chairs. Well, put those together and have Sweeney Todd.

You could. All right, Lucy, what was yours? Okay, here's the thing. So I had got my wisdom teeth out. Which was fun, if I heard correctly.

So my pain medicine was only semi-effective. What did they give you? Lortab? I'm not a big advocate, honestly. I'm not somebody that does pills recreationally, and I really hated them.

Yeah, actually, there's plenty left. But it didn't seem prudent to drink heavily, which was what I wanted to do because I was in excruciating pain. So instead, the prudent escapism seemed to be going to the movie theater, which it is generally. So I saw a lot of theatrical releases this last week. I needed Mindless Entertainment.

Fortunately, there's a surplus of that right now. The theatrical run usually takes care of that for everybody. Did you see anything that had Tyler Perry in it? I do draw a line somewhere. You know I have standards.

Thank God. But had he had something out right now, I can't promise. That's the level of pain I was in. You were hopped up on the dress. The idea is hilarious.

Oh, but speaking of cross-dressing men, I did see Eddie Murphy in Tower Heist. Oh, and did he in this one, too? I'm going to tell you what. Okay, here's the thing. I've been very conflicted.

Now it's a non-issue, fortunately. But the whole thing about the Oscars, I am an Oscar watcher. I'm thick and thin. I'm not going to stop. This was the one year.

I'm never going to watch the Oscars again. Really? I am boycotting them. What turned you? They did their fucking tribute and they did not put Corey in it.

Yeah, that was wrong. Fuck them. No, you're right. I'll never watch them again. Did they ever apologize or acknowledge it or nothing?

They never do. They always leave people out and they're just like, eh, whatever. But they left out Corey, god damn it. But didn't his mom sort of lobby and say that they needed to... And nothing.

They're the Oscars. They can do whatever the fuck they want. Well, here's the thing. I honestly felt like maybe with this choice, they were purposefully trying to alienate people. Like, maybe they don't really want people watching.

Like, maybe they're kind of over it and, like, this institution and they just want it to die and they don't. They're just shooting themselves in the foot. So after, like, the James Franco, which actually I enjoyed him as the host. I'm going to be honest, just because it was so weird. But, you know, people hated it.

They hated it. They were turning against the Oscars and they were like, okay, well, next year... Instead, we're gonna have Eddie Murphy? Like, what? Like, the guy that picked up the transvestite?

Like, the guy that. Beat up Scary Spice? The guy who was funny 20-some-odd years ago? So, anyway, he's loathsome, I find. And half or some time, all the movies, they're terrible, they're.

He beat up Scary Spice? Well, there was that whole thing with the baby and the. Oh, Baby Spice? Yeah, they made a baby together. What?

Yeah, they dated. Had babies? Yeah, they procreated. Oh, man, I like Scary Spice. Now she's ruined now.

Damn it. They dated for like a substantial period of time. And then one day she's like, you know, maybe they'd already broken up, but she was like, I'm pregnant. He was like, well, it's not mine. And she was like, yeah, it's yours.

You're my boyfriend. It's your baby. He's like, no, it's not mine. And she was like, dude, it's totally yours. I haven't done anything.

It's your easy cast, not mine. When it pops out, we'll get a test, but it's not mine. And so the kid pops out, and she's like, okay, well, here's the test. It's yours. I told you.

And he's like, well, I guess I'll pay you, but, you know, whatever. So he's a bad dude. I know as much about that as I knew that transvestite that I picked up while... Yeah, exactly. He just denies a lot of crazy stuff now.

If he's like that, then fuck that guy, man. Fucking hate that shit. The transvestites? No, I can't fucking stand people who can't own up and fucking be a dad. That's what I'm saying.

Or at least be halfway fucking responsible. Or at least go on Maury and get a DNA test. You see that Maury has invited Bieber onto his show? Oh, shit. That's beautiful.

I got a long list of people I want to fucking punch in the face. You just joined that list. Well, maybe I won't say what I was about to say. Tower Heist did. I mean, it's like the Eddie Murphy, remember?

It really did kind of erase the last 25 years for me. I was like, oh, this is the charming guy that I remember from Trading Places. He won me back for a little bit. It was vintage Eddie Murphy. He's an actor.

It would be really good a long time ago. And had his moments, like we were talking about a few weeks ago. I mean, there's, when he's, the one time when I would say somebody's doing a good job in makeup because they put too much stupid giant fat suit, usually women makeup on him, but this one when he's playing the Klump's character, it's like he actually plays a different character. Like, he is an actor there for a minute and he does something impressive and When he's himself, when he's doing his role, he's terrible. Didn't he already drop out of the Oscars?

Yeah, so it's all moving. And I'm a little confused about that, too. Yeah. I mean, was it like a solidarity move? Was he saying, Brett Ratner should be allowed to say stuff like that?

I'm jumping out. I don't know. I didn't hear much else other than they went with their fallback. Oh, yeah, so wait, who is? Well, as of the other day, it wasn't confirmed, but that's what they said they were considering at this point.

I was like, anytime shit goes wrong, they go with their safety post. Billy Crystal. I'm not a fan. Of Billy Crystal either. I mean, he was good at that, but again, that's played out.

He was good at that like in the 80s. Yeah, it's like that ran out a long damn time ago, and they need to just find something else and own up to it. Is he going to say, you're marvelous? Yeah. His cutting edge comedy.

Isn't that that one guy who didn't do it again? You're that one guy who didn't do the Oscars. The one they pissed off. I know who you're talking about. What's his name?

Seth Rogen? No. Wait, what are you talking about? He hosted something else. He hosted the...

Ricky Gervais. Yeah, Ricky Gervais. He pissed everybody off. Because he didn't lie. He just stood up there and said the horrible things everybody thinks about the people sitting in the audience.

He just actually said it in front of the microphone. Oh, awesome. He got himself in trouble doing that. You're not supposed to do that. He might be doing it again next year.

They probably should. Oh, wow. Brutal honesty. I'm not watching Golden Globes anymore either. They fucking snubbed Corey too.

Did they even do one of those? Yes, they did. They didn't have Corey, though. Yeah, they all do them. Fuck them all.

Who cares? I don't fucking care. Sit around. Why don't you give awards to real people that do real shit? Like fucking soldiers and firemen and maybe cops.

I don't know. It depends. They have that. CNN does that. CNN Hero Awards.

Thank you. That's my gift to you. It's not big enough. Not big enough. Better.

Anderson Cooper. I love Anderson Cooper. Garbage man. He's a really. Talk about a fine, upstanding individual.

I love Anderson Cooper. Do you guys know? No, seriously. I'm about to just jump onto an Anderson Cooper tirade if I have the floor for a moment. Like, do you know, like, how he got to be where he got to be?

Like, he's rich, right? He's like a Vanderbilt or whatever. And he had all this family money. But, you know, this very tragic life. But I guess he was working for Channel One.

And they were like, dude, you do not have the face for TV. I'm sorry. You're not the guy. You're not the guy. You're the guy that writes.

You're the guy that, like, you know, does the digging, the investigative stuff. But you're not camera material. Really? Yeah. I know.

Well, I don't know. He's kind of a little funny looking. It's like every woman I know is in love with Anderson Cooper. They're just no good. So anyway, so this is what he did.

He took his money. He heard about this little situation in the 90s happening in Rwanda that nobody was reporting on, that not one single person had reported on. So he decides, you know what? I got some money. I'm going to grab this camera guy, and we're going to go to Rwanda.

And so he starts covering the genocide in Rwanda when there is no U.S. media outlet there whatsoever. And he starts sending the coverage back to Channel 1. So this crappy, I mean, I don't know if people are familiar with Channel 1 news, but it's the thing that they show at, like, schools in the morning or whatever. It's, like, fake news with lots of, like, commercials and stuff that piss parents off. But anyway, so all of a sudden Channel 1 got an exclusive on the Rwandan genocide.

And so they're like, okay, well, keep them coming, Anderson. And so he was like, all right, well, when I get back, do I have a job? And they're like, yeah, dude, you got a job. So I don't know. The guy's cool.

And he's handsome. And he's handsome. He's just dreamy. I know. But he doesn't have a face for TV.

I don't get it. He's handsome. He's convinced us with his charisma that he's handsome, but I'm not entirely sure he's actually handsome. Yeah, you know how Brian feels about Amber. It's not fair.

And he doesn't like the Kardashians, so that. Works out for me, too. Wow. Does anybody really like him? Or maybe it's Lindsay Lohan he doesn't like.

Either way, it's fucking hilarious. Yeah. I have nothing educational to say about him. If you don't like the Kardashians, they're that low-hanging girl. That's okay for me.

Sorry. But yeah, Tyra is not terrible. I think that's where I started, but that was like three hours ago. Yeah, it was actually interesting because I saw that and Tyra's back to back, and I feel like I was wondering if they were sort of speeding up, because both of those films sort of address the same thing, which is sort of the Occupy Wall Street movement. I mean, really, they're sort of like taking the power back to the people, redistribution of power. you know, things, resources.

Like, it was actually, like, sociologically, I think they both came at interesting times. Neither of them are great movies. Actually, the in-time premise is kind of interesting. I don't like that it had to have Justin Timberlake in it. I don't hate him, but I think I should.

I can hate him enough for both of us, honestly. I'm kind of like, eh. He's one hell of a beatboxer. Yeah. Nothing's worse than a white guy's beatbox, and I'm sorry.

You cannot convince Justin of that. Unless you're the damn Beastie Boys, you need to shut the fuck up. And then I saw Sarah's Key because I felt like maybe a movie about the Holocaust would put my wisdom to pain and perspective. So it was actually disappointing, though. See, my dentist is handsome.

I didn't have any dental pain when I had my teeth pulled out. You've got dreamy dentists. I do. I went back three. Times to have teeth pulled.

There's not going to be a tooth left in your mouth. I just had four wisdom teeth. I did one this time. I got another tooth that's causing me pain. You're going to be chewing bubble gum all the time.

But you've got all false teeth. That's causing me pain. Ghost pain. I'll just hand them to you. Work on them.

Well, I think that you paid the ultimate price, really, for having wisdom teeth taken out, because you watched Police Academy, and then you didn't get to come to the episode. I did. Honestly, I really wanted to have that conversation, though, especially on Lortab. Well, that would have been interesting. I've done plenty of shows on Lortab.

This show, not sponsored by Lortab, so send money, because pharmaceutical companies have all the money. Or pills. Don't send pills, because we'll never get anything done. I don't think War Tap affects me. But yeah, I wanted...

The Steve Guttenberg. I don't know. Did you get into. This about the Steve Guttenberg appeal and what happened to it and where it went and how he. Where did it go?

There were a lot of chicks I knew that dug Steve Guttenberg. He was beloved. And then he overnight became a joke. I don't know if it was all the sequels. I don't know what it was.

I don't know. If it was just... changing society. It was something. It went from chicks thinking. He was hot to, like you said, thinking he was a joke.

There was a lot of changing society from that movie. Yeah, the casual homophobia was shocking to me. See, I had problems with the casual racism, so it's a fun movie for everybody. But that was the 80s. It was the 80s.

It was the 80s. They made fun of everything. They made fun of everything. But it's okay, because we're We're cool with it. Maybe that's why I'm the way I am.

I'm stuck in the 80s. I can blatantly be mean and make fun of everybody. I don't care. That's why people hate me. Except for Randy.

He said earlier I was awesome. So what did come out of that conversation? What did we learn about ourselves from Police Academy? I don't want to revisit it too much. We've grown since.

You learned lessons. Okay. Nobody wears half shirts anymore. Why not? That one guy did.

I'm getting me a one in the oven shirt. Yeah. You know, I had no idea. What that meant when I first saw that. I was like, oh.

And then I was like, oh, okay. All right. Duh. I love that when you revisit stuff later and you're like, oh, that's what that means. Yeah, that's what that meant.

Yeah. Jeez. All right. Does that round out our geek week? That's all I got.

That's a big old geek week. Holy crap, there's a duck in this water. Where? Right there. Oh.

He's cute. Yeah. Never mind. There is a duck in my bottle of water. It's a picture of a duck.

It's not like a real duck. Full-sized duck. And it's a rubber duck at that. No, it's not. It's got little feet.

Rubber ducks don't have feet. Some could. Hey, it's all it's quacked up to be. I actually used that logo as a slogan. We'll take a break and be back with this week's movie.

It's been the longest winter without you I didn't know where to turn to. See, somehow I can't forget you After all that we've been through Don't be. Coming Thought I heard it out. Who said no one Thinking that I deserve it And now I realize that I really didn't know You didn't know this Mean everything quickly, I'm learning To love again, all. I know is.

I will be okay It's gonna hurt when it heals too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Better in time. You know I really love you.

Gonna smile cause I deserve to. Oh. Oh, the time. Is now, the time is here. Now's the time to abide a cheer.

A tasty life where the price is right. Well, look in here, you'll dig this site. The moment's handy for a piece of candy. Just name your brand, they're all so grand. Hey, what do you.

Think of a nice cool drink? The time is 1893, and. Novelist and inventor H.G. Wells invites you. To join him on a flight from London.

To San Francisco. In under a minute, you will be transported to a bizarre and fantastic new age. Today. Time after time. For H.G.

Wells, the modern world offers a spectacular array of revelations, embarrassments, and delights. Well, hello there. Hello. What's up, Doug? I beg your pardon?

You were saying, where to? Could you please take me as quickly as possible to the Hyatt? But Wells has not come here as a tourist. His visit will be somewhat more dangerous, for he is pursuing Jack the Ripper, a villain who has eluded his fate by escaping into time. Ninety years ago, I was a freak.

Today, I'm an amateur. A romantic adventure, a breathless chase around the world and across a century. Time after time. Tweaked Audio, your source for high-performance, noise-reducing earbuds. Available in three styles and seven colors.

Throughable and designed to sound great for both music and those chatty podcasts, like the one you're listening to now. Tweaked Audio earbuds come with a one-year warranty, and now there's a special deal for Movie Meltdown listeners. Just go to tweakedaudio.com, and when you check out, enter the discount code MELTDOWN. Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Tweaked Audio.

Sounds better. Time is on my side. Yes, it is. Time is on my side. Yes, it is.

All right, we're back. And before we go to our remote recording here, we just need to discuss the fact that it is... Lucy, do you want to discuss... I don't even think we need to discuss the person because you're going to get that in the recording. You definitely get the excitement that comes along with this segment.

But I do want to set the scene because... This is probably the first time I've done a specifically celebrity interview seated in the floor in the middle of a hallway as people are streaming past. now I did do the porn game show with Andy in the hallway and I think it's that same hallway actually midway in while I was sitting there and I watched the kids streaming by in their swimwear ready to go jump down the water slide I was like this is the one we were talking about porn in when we were scarring those children so many years ago Anyway, so, but yeah, I think it's that same hallway that somehow we ended up there. Mostly because they kicked us out of the room that I originally hoped we would do it in.

But no, it would be much easier if they just booted us from there. So we ended up sitting in the hallway with Doug Jones talking about Jane Seymour being hot. And can we add that he actually mentioned at first he invited us up to his room to do it there because that's how cool he is. He's like literally the coolest dude ever. And you turned that down?

There was a rush for the elevators. Yeah, there was like 400 people sitting at the elevator. Dude! That's when we could use the grappling hook. He made me walk up eight fucking flights of stairs.

It's only eight flights of stairs. It's eight whole fucking flights of stairs. You're okay. I thought I was going to have a goddamn heart attack. How will you make it through the fucking zombie apocalypse if you can't conquer eight flights of stairs?

We're not running upstairs, probably. If there are zombies, it'll be a completely different thing. Going upstairs for no reason is one thing. Being chased by a fucking herd of zombies is another. Gotta be in shape.

I'm in shape. It's round. You're not round. Come on, I'm falling apart. I hit my fucking cars and trucks and I'm still okay.

Maybe I'll be flights of steps. Well, good for you. Damn straight. Fucking A. Hell yeah.

Yeah. Okay. All right then. Well, as I was saying before, I thought it might be interesting to try to suggest coming back up here. I was going to offer up Randy's room.

It was crowded. I was like, I'm just dragging up some random famous movie people. That's cool, right? But I thought it would seem really creepy on our part to suggest that. You can come back to our room.

It's totally fine if he suggests that we go back to his room. He didn't slam a room key down in front of you? Maybe. We'll get to that later. But, yeah, instead.

The point being, this guy's all just sweetness and light and love. Which I think is going to come through in this segment. Was there rainbows involved? I felt maybe a unicorn. Did he ride a unicorn at some point?

On a rainbow? He's pretty damn awesome. So with that, yeah, we'll go to this week's movie. Are you all. Comfortable on the floor?

Let's just sit on the floor. Like kids. We are back here. This is Brian and Lucy. And we have a...

Do you want to say hi? Hi. We have a special guest with us. We have actor, you have many titles, but we'll go with actor Doug Jones. I think actor, yeah, actor sums it up.

Okay. Thank you for having me today. By the way. No problem. Did you want to give, I guess, a quick rundown of, you know, I don't know.

I'd say most people know you from probably like Pan's Labyrinth and then the Del Toro stuff. Guillermo Del Toro is kind of synonymous with my name a lot, but he's like my Tim Burton if I was Johnny Depp. We did Pan's Labyrinth together. Yes, I played the faun and the pale man, both in that. I also played Abe Sapien, the blue fish guy, in his Hellboy movies, one and two.

And I also played the angel of death in Hellboy 2. And I also met him on Mimic, actually. But you also might know me as the Silver Surfer in the Fantastic Four sequel. Or Billy Butcherson, the. Goofy zombie guy in Hocus Pocus, that Halloween classic now with Bette Midler.

And Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy. Also, I was the leader of the Gentleman on the famous Hush episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A classic. A classic TV moment. If ever there was.

Joss Whedon, genius. Yeah. Yeah. The list goes on and on. I'm under lots of rubber bits a lot of the time.

Speaking of rubber bits, I'm actually working on a movie right now called Neighborhood Watch with Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill and me as an. Alien from outer space. So think naughty boy humor mixed with an alien. So there you go. All right.

Sounds good. I guess, unless you have anything else to tell them beforehand, we can get into the movie. Sure, sure, sure. Well, you know what? If we have a minute, this has been a year of diversity for me.

I've enjoyed very much doing web series, which is kind of a new medium that I've been happily dived, dove. In, divved into. Yeah. I've very much enjoyed the web series format. It's like television, but for short attention spans.

And so right now I'm currently on the current season five of The Guild, which is a very popular web series by Felicia Day, starring her, written by her. And I got to play a steampunk dandy in season five. I'm in about four episodes. So if you watch Season 5, the whole thing takes place at a convention, which we're at right now, by the way. I know the convention circuit really well.

So when I read the script for Season 5 and the whole thing takes place at a gaming convention, Felicia Day knows the convention circuit. She knows gaming. She's a very smart writer. So she wrote it with all of that back knowledge. And every cliche of a convention is in this season, including the steampunk booth.

And I'm one of the steampunk dandies that's sort. Of like very. but I went over the top and I hope steampunkers don't hate me for this, but I, I kind of affected a fake British accent and an. Attitude that was, you know, a little bit snooty. But when you put those clothes on that, that style, the steam, I love steampunk. It does make you want to act different.

Um, and you, you do feel like you're the cool kid of the con. You do. You kind of do. Yeah. So I enjoyed exploring that.

Uh, she has another web series called dragon age redemption right now. Uh, uh, It's currently running. It's six episodes, and I think episode five just came out. Episode six comes out this coming, well, Tuesday, November 15th will be the last episode that comes out. So whenever this airs, I don't know.

Probably within the next week or so. There you go. So if you go to the Machinima channel on YouTube, that's a channel on YouTube that's devoted to gaming, the Dragon Age series is found there. Or if you do a YouTube search for Dragon Age Redemption, you'll find it. I play Cerebus, the main nemesis bad guy in that, which is another heavily made-up character with rubber on my face.

I'm kind of bluish-grayish with a long white wig and some horns on my head that were sawed off because I'm a slave. It's a long story. But I have magic in my hands. I'm a Qunari mage. For those of you out there who know the Dragon Age lore, Qunari mage will mean something to you.

It didn't to me because I don't know games. But the story was written really well, and it was a great acting piece to delve into, so I took it with open arms. And again, working with Felicia Day was just brilliant and wonderful. I also have a book coming out in February. Now this I'm excited about.

It is a coffee table photo book that takes me back to my roots as a mime. It's called Mime Very Own Book. And so it's full of punny humor like that. You'll find images in there that would depict a. Mime as a terrible thing to waste.

Once upon a mime. Mime over matter. Mime after mime. Are you with me? And also somewhere in mind, but.

That kind of leads us to our next topic, but my very own book will be coming. It's available, uh, uh, February, 2012, and you can go to amazon.com right now and preorder and they'll deliver it in February. And if you go to Amazon now, you get a really good deal. They'll knock $ 10 off the list price. So that's a good deal.

Very cool. Excellent, right? I know, I know, I know. Fantastic. All right, well, since we did the lead-in, I guess if we want to roll into the movie.

Yes. Or do our little set-up here. It's time for Sofa Theater. Arthur. Hi.

Yes, Mr. Collier? Arthur. You know, in the Hall of History, there's a photograph. A young woman.

There's no nameplate. Yes, that's Elise McKenna. She was a famous actress in her day. Starred in a play in the hotel theater. I'm sorry, did you say there was a theater here?

Down by the lake. Really? When was this play done? Oh, uh, 1912. 1912.

Sofa Theater, I like it. Favorite place to watch a movie. Definitely. So, it is time for a movie out on Sofa Theater. This week's Sofa Theater feature is Somewhere in Time.

Somewhere in Time. The year is 1980. The plot, and this is IMDb, and it's thin at best. Okay. A Chicago playwright uses self-hypnosis to find the actress whose vintage portrait hangs in the Grand Hotel.

Yes. Scratches the surface a little. It happens. Long and short of it. Yeah.

Mostly short. So, spoiler alert, I'm assuming we're going to go into some very specific areas here. So if you need to, stop now. Go watch the movie, because we don't want to ruin it for you. There you go.

But it came out in 1980, so I think it's been spoiled. You're dragging your feet. Come on. So where should we begin with this one? First of all, thank you for watching Somewhere in Time.

That's my suggestion. It's been a while, but I've seen it. I've never seen it, so thank you for introducing me to it. Did you not love it? I did, but I was amazed that it was your choice, and I love that it was your choice.

So I have to know why it was your choice. There you go. Because I'm kind of known for playing monsters in the horror, fantasy, sci-fi comic book genres. So, of course, my favorite movie is Somewhere in Time, which is this romantic set. Swimmingly romantic.

Swimmingly romantic. With the great music and the great location on Mackinac Island in Michigan. Oh, it's gorgeous. Jane Seymour is in it, and I fell in love with her in a minute. Stunning.

Christopher Reeve, of course. It was at the height of his Superman fame when this came out, too. So in the theater, the theatrical experience for me was. Right? And it did bring a little sci-fi in with the time travel.

Come on, now. A little Richard Matheson. Definitely. Okay. So it was a great mix of everything that I did love.

And if I was banished to a deserted isle for the rest of my life and was allowed one movie, that would be the one I would take with me. There you go. I love that. It would be really sad if you were by yourself. Yeah, I know.

You'd be like Christopher Reeve by the end of the movie. Yeah, I know. The same thing out the window. Wait, that was you in Skin and Bones. Wait a minute.

Oh, I know. You look pretty close to that, actually. A shell of myself, I know, pale and on my deathbed. Yes, I was. That's pretty close.

Let's see. Where should we begin with the plot? I mean, I think the most interesting thing really is the sci-fi element. Because, I mean, it could otherwise just be a very straight romance, but it's... It enters into almost some weird territory.

Here's the thing that grabbed me about it was that this modern-day, at the time 1980, this modern-day writer is fed up with his current life. Things aren't going well. He needs to get out of Chicago, goes on a road trip, and finds himself on Mackinac Island at the Grand Hotel there, which is a gorgeous piece of. Architecture set on Lake Michigan. Beautiful setting.

And so it just sets up, like, to me, that's like, oh, yes, I want to get away to that place and clear my head like he was doing in the movie. So I could relate to that bit of it. And the fact that he's looking through the Hall of History in the Grand Hotel there, things that have happened in the hotel over time. And he sees that portrait on the wall. And something about that portrait was kind of calling to him.

It was this beautiful woman, of course, Jane Seymour, with a sepia-tone, old-style portrait. whatever year she came from. What year do you go back to? 1912. 1912, there you go. And that moment was just so chilling for me.

Oh my God, sorry, I didn't mean to. He hadn't even seen the portrait yet, and it's calling to him from sort of behind him. And that music stirs, and your heart's pumping, like, what's he going to see? What's he going to see? What's behind him?

What's behind him? And it's that picture of this gorgeous woman, and it gets closer, and he goes, ah. And he has to know, who is she? Where did she come from? How do I find her?

So he's on this quest to meet this love of his life that he feels in her eyes something. About that portrait was haunting him. Can any of us relate to this where we've seen a picture in a magazine of someone that's like that haunts you and you wonder why do I feel a connection to this person or whatever? Well, he found out why he felt a connection to that. Spoiler alert.

He finds his old college professor that had theorized that maybe he could go back in time And so he did, and he sort of hypnotized himself into believing that it actually was 1912, and he falls asleep, wakes up, and it is 1912. And he's still in the Grand Hotel, but many, many years earlier. After dressing the part, and getting his hair cut, and finding old coins to put in his pockets, and doing the whole thing, the whole setup, I. I just loved it. I loved it.

Let's remember, the beginning of the film, though, right? The beginning of the film was him in college. Yeah. His first directing play. Right, yeah.

And the critics loved it, and maybe someone from Broadway might be showing up to put this up on a bigger theater. And it was kind of like after the play they were celebrating. This old woman is sitting in the back of the theater just kind of watching, and she slowly gets up and walks through the crowd, the party crowd, after the show, comes up to him and says, come back to me, as she places a pocket watch in his hand, right? Now, the pocket watch becomes a player in the film, right? Because later, as we go through, he meets, now, okay, so this old woman was the Jane Seymour character who had grown old, right, waiting for him And.

So that's what I love. There's this, who is that woman? Why does she want him to come back to her? How could he have ever met her before? And so we find out, oh, the portrait, and that was her, and she's an actress from back then, and oh, gosh, ah!

So he goes back, he finds her, they meet, and they're both the same age then, back in time. So, ah, ah, the love, the love. And then what I love, though, is that. he's got that pocket watch that the old lady gave him as a part of his 1912 look. And so when he finally, he and Jane Seymour consummate their love affair, and it's like, oh, we're going to have a great life together, and they're talking about it. And she says, oh, what time is it?

And she pulls out his pocket watch, and she's holding it, when the dastardly horrible thing happens in the film where he forgot and left a 1979 penny in his pocket. And he pulls it out, and that brings him out of his state. And he sees a modern-day thing in the palm of his hand. And so he fades out of her view. She's screaming, Richard!

Richard! Chilling moment in the film for me. It's kind of frightening. In the theater, I was like, I goosebumped him. I was like, what?

And then he all of a sudden wakes up in modern day again, like just devastated that he'd lost. He captured the love of his life and lost her within a day. This is horrible. This is horrible. But the pocket watch was in her hands while she's screaming and fading away.

So the pocket watch becomes this character that, where did it start? That's what I was going to ask, actually. I love that. And no, you can't define it because he got it from this woman who came from yesteryear. She gave it to him in modern day.

He goes back in time with it, gives it to her. She screams as he leaves. and then she grows old and brings it back to him, and it's on a continuous loop, isn't it? It becomes a time loop. In the car all the time. It's like, where does that watch come from?

Who made it? Where did it get bought? It becomes this weird mystery element to the movie. Right, right, right. What can I do for you?

I have a question for you, sir. Shoot, is time travel possible? That is a question. Let me tell you something. Richard, is it?

Yes, sir. I was in Venice in 1971, staying. In a very old hotel. But I mean very old. Structured, furnishings, everything.

The atmosphere was aged, if you follow me. In my room, I felt as though It was a century or more earlier than 1971. You understand? Yes, sir. So, in other words, then the location is very important.

Not all important, but essential. The rest is here. And I don't know, just the whole, I thought that was interesting in itself, the time travel without the conventions of a machine. I mean, there's always some sort of, machinery involved. It was more about the power of the mind.

Yeah, I like that they didn't bother with any sort of like convoluted pseudoscience. It was just like, no, you can just think about it and then you go there. But I love how the book was like this really thick book and it's like, well, wait, if that's the theory, I'm pretty sure that could have been a pamphlet. Just boil it down. It was like, lie there and say it's that year.

He was like, I have to take you to another room to tell you how it is. And then he was like, okay, just lie there and think about 1912. Do you have a tape recorder? You're almost there. You are almost in 1912 right now.

Oh dear me. Right? Right? But yeah, I think that's kind of the most interesting element is that the whole time travel aspect. And yeah, the fact that Well, I think there's some fun things, too.

The fact that for most of it, I kept going, isn't somebody calling him out for wearing the same clothes every day? He's there for two or three days. He bought one outfit at an antique shop, I know. It's funny that by the end of the movie, she does, actually. She's making fun of how dating.

Yeah, we've got to get you some new clothes. And that becomes an important plot point. So it's actually really beautifully constructed, I thought, the way all the pieces sort of work. Yeah, yeah. And that's why it lives on and on for me.

I'm not a multiple movie watcher. I'm a multiple watcher of one movie. This is one that I can watch. again and again and never tire of. How many times do you think you've seen it? Countless now.

I own it on the DVD. I had it on the VHS before that. I did. It's been through all the different incarnations. Laser disc somewhere.

Well, here's the thing. When it came out in 1980, the home video market is not what it is now. And so I didn't know. In fact, I didn't know it We didn't have one back then. In 80, I don't think we had the home video market.

It was right about there. It was coming on. Didn't it kind of come into 83-ish, 82-ish? It started hitting its drive then, yeah. So in 80, I didn't know that I would ever be able to see it again, so I went back to the theater.

I did the same thing with Grease, by the way. I went back to the theater, back to the theater, because I thought, this is my only chance. We're catching it on TV one day if they play it, and I happen to be at the right spot. Wow. So I went back to the theater and had that dark room, big screen experience with Somewhere in Time several times before it left the theaters.

Yeah. And it dragged all my friends back with me. You go, no, no, seriously, trust me, you're going to see this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's awesome.

Well, it does have, I mean, I was looking just visually. I mean, it has the most lush cinematography. Like, they really put so much time and effort into this. The art direction. And I think, and the music is such a big player.

I have the soundtrack as well on vinyl record. Yes, I do. Cause that's when it came out. Um, I now have the CD as well. I do.

I do. I've updated, but, uh, but, uh, the music, the, the, the main theme. Song, John Barry. Yeah. Oh, gorgeous.

And, uh, but there's many, many, you know, uh, variations of that song going or that, that, melody going through the entire soundtrack and I again I can put that soundtrack on a continuous loop and just drift away it's good driving music good napping music you know what I'm saying good stare. Out the window you'll wake up in 1920 good napping music oh no and hear the clip-clop of horses outside my window. That could happen awesome that'd be awesome. Oh, let's see. I'm going to sip my coffee now while you're looking at your little.

Trying to think of other stuff we needed to address. I don't know. Well, I think I ruined the entire movie for anybody. Point by point, here it goes. Since we've already gone to that big movie, I mean, that was almost my takeaway because it is this very romantic movie, and it became.

It has this huge following even to this day of hardcore fans. Rabid fans, yes. That do conventions. Oh, my gosh. I didn't realize that.

They have one at the hotel, too. At the hotel. Right, right. Which I've never. I didn't know there was a fan club or a society.

I think they call themselves a society. When I got the DVD, finally, I watched the bonus features, and the whole background of the crazy fan people are in that. Hello, baby doggy. Hilarious. So all of the fan folk get together, and I learned that from the DVD thing.

So now I want to find them, and I want to go to one of these conventions and dress up. I want to do it. I want to do the whole do. In his really dated suit, don't you? Yes, yes.

Because of my steampunk connection with the Guild now, the woman who outfitted me for that show, she owns a business called Clockwork Couture in Los Angeles. In Burbank. And they'll ship all over the world, by the way. But anyway, the pants I'm wearing right now actually are from. I was admiring those earlier.

Those are fantastic. The steampunk thing throws back to about the right era. So I think I can wardrobe myself for one of those conventions for some wearing time. I can do it. I can do it.

Just show up in the full gear. The metal attachments and all of it. Right. With computer gadgetry that's gas-powered or whatever. On an island that won't let you drive a car.

Yeah, I know. They had to make that adjustment, it said. It said for him to work in that scene where he drives up to the hotel and decides to stay there. They had to get special permission from the government. Right, because it's all bicycles and horse carriages and that kind of thing on the island to this day.

So have you been there? I've been there. You've been to the Grand Hotel. Yes. And was it inspired by the movie, your voyage there?

No, it was inspired by the annual Jones family vacation. We vacation somewhere different every summer. And that year it happened to be in northern Michigan. And we're like, oh, we've got to go to Magda Island. So we rented the bikes.

Now, you can't just walk through the Grand Hotel lobby like the hotel we're in right now. You can't just walk in and go, oh, yeah, because it's a tourist trap now. So they want you to pay to just walk into the lobby and have a look around. So I'm like, I'm not going to pay. So I snuck through the horse carriage area, the horse stables area.

This is a very old hotel that had horse drive-ups and horse stables for the guests. That was their parking lot. So I went through there. And it reminded me, like, oh, this is where Christopher Reeve woke up after he was knocked in the head by the bad guy, by Elise McKenna's manager. Jane Seymour's a manager guy.

He was the bad guy in the movie that was trying to keep Christopher and Jane Seymour apart, which was just an evil plot. And so I went through that horse stable like, oh, my gosh, yes. And then I kind of wound my way through the back maid's entrance and the thing that, I ended up in the offices area and this woman found me and she said, do you need help? I said, I was just looking. Around and I think I lost my way from the lobby.

Can you get me back there? So she's like, oh, yeah, honey. That way, that way, make it right, make it left, make it downstairs. So I end up in the lobby for free. Yes, I did.

Which I wouldn't advise. I shouldn't advertise to the kids. What am I teaching the kids? I'm sure now they've learned their lesson. They put a big lock on that door.

No more horse stables. No more of that Jones character wandering in. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, exactly, exactly. Aw.

Well, we can get into the villain there. Played by Christopher Plummer. Yes, who did a great job, as he always does. A very weird moment between the two, between Jane Seymour and Christopher Plummer, where they're having that sort of conversation of, is it him, and is this going to be it? That was the fun part.

Okay, so when Christopher Reeves goes back in time, and he finally sees her, he's going around the Grand Hotel asking, is Elise McKenna here? She was a traveling actress with a traveling touring company, a theater company. And they had landed at the Grand. Hotel to do their show. And he knew that because he knew the history of her whereabouts in 1912.

So he went back to that specific date to find her at that hotel specifically. So looking around, looking around, and he finally finds her out on her evening walk that she normally takes out by the lake. And so, of course, the music stirs up. And then he approaches her. He sees her from behind.

And she turns around by a tree. And the reveal of the beautiful, glorious, angelic Jane Seymour. And then he's approaching her slowly. And they come face to face in a beautiful profile shot, backlit by the sun and the lake. And she says, is it you?

Right? And after we see in modern day this old woman say, come back to me, we're thinking, wait. So it screws with your head, doesn't it? It's still Canada. And so he said, yes.

Like, how did you know? But yes. And so then she's like, oh, oh. And she grabs her, you know, pats her hair. And then the evil manager comes up and says, at least it's time for dinner.

And takes him away from Christopher. So then he asks her later in the. Story, like the next day, why did you ask if it was me? And she said, because. The evil manager, Christopher Plummer, has talked about the one man that will come and take her away.

Because he sort of groomed her from a teenager into this beautiful actress that she is and the successful actress that she is. And he didn't want anyone taking that away from him. He was a very selfish man who had groomed and wanted to take full credit for this woman's career. So do you read it like he was just assuming she would fall in love and quit acting? Like he wasn't really tied into the time travel aspect?

Right. Because Christopher Plummer, he had no idea that Christopher Reeve had come from the future, of course. But he was just worried that, because back in that day, in that era, a woman falls in love, gets married, and whatever endeavor she had of her own, quit. And then she became all about the husband. Right.

So he was worried that that would happen. But Christopher Reeve came from a modern time when, hey, no, no, no, women can do whatever they want, right? So he was saying, of course she'll keep acting, of course. And so Christopher Plummer, though, that didn't enter his mind that that was a possibility. So that was a nice little, that's why it worked.

Interesting, yeah. That's why it worked. Yeah, and he was so manipulative by saying that it was going to be a bad thing, that this person that came into her life, there was going to be sort of an evil component to it. So that whenever somebody did come into her life, she would immediately be wary. That's why she.

Reached the age of 30 without ever dating anybody. Looking like that. And the fact that she had never dated anybody, your woman, that first kiss. Oh, oh, oh, yes. It went on forever.

The reach in. Yes, the tentative, slow. And the way she said, it's really happening, right? Oh, oh, oh, oh. This doesn't even seem like something they could make in 1980, really.

No, I know, I know, I know. But I remember first kisses are like that, where it's like, is it really happening? Is this really going to... I've seen it on movies. I've read about it.

I've dreamt about it. Is it really happening? So here's this grown woman... looking as gorgeous like she should have been macking out with everybody. But I love the innocence of that moment. I did, I did, I did.

Yeah, it's a great first kiss moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, that part was like bringing the villain in where he seemed almost aware of it because Jane Seymour's character does seem aware of it, which is weird for a time traveler. Usually the older version of yourself doesn't have any idea what's going on. It's only like the modern day that then goes back in time.

Yeah, yeah. So this time loop somehow has like informed her, I guess. Yeah, yeah. It's very strange. It did seem like it.

It doesn't explain it, but she seems to have this feeling of something going on. Yeah. Yeah. Because she kind of recognizes him in a certain way, too, doesn't she? But then sort of puts it off and doesn't want him around, and it goes back to her normal thing.

But there's this feeling that she knows something's there. Right. And let's bring, now the photo that he's mesmerized by in modern day that inspires him to go back in time. That was a great moment. Was that not a cool moment?

Yes, that was fantastic. Because that photo was taken backstage during the play that he was watching back in time. He travels back in time, and he gets front row seats to watch her in the show. And so then at intermission, he goes backstage to find her and say, great job. And she's getting a publicity photo taken for the show backstage, and she couldn't really find her motivation to pose for this.

She was tired and she was thinking about him and just wanted to get on with it. And then she sees her beyond the photographer and looks at him with that sort of look in her eye, and then that's when click, and that's the photo that was hanging in the modern-day Hall of History. So that's why he recognized the look in her eyes because it was at him. Isn't that an awesome twist? Oh, gosh.

That was a good moment. It was a good moment. Come on now. The other thing. that seems odd. Because this all just seems odd to you.

Well, there's moments when I was just like, again, I think I'm just a geek and I'm trying to figure out the science of it. Yeah, don't do that. You're going to have the. World's biggest headache. You're going to ruin the romance of it.

You see what I'm saying? I kind of have a headache. I think that's what it is. Bless your little heart. I think the idea is that it was always fated.

That it was just, it was what it was. Perhaps. It was fated. As all the great love stories are. Exactly.

I will agree with her. I'm going to agree with her. Well then it I guess just to go into the again the visuals it was funny they go through that like scene of them walking out in the field there almost and they've got all these people around them and it does seem like I'm watching I'm like It seems like they're working in every little cliche of the time. They've got, like, guys doing the old-timey boxing. I was like, it couldn't get any more cliche if a kid wheels a wheel by with a stick, and then he does, and I'm just like.

Right, right, right. And then I found out that was on purpose. Like, it actually said that the director said he wanted them to reenact poses from, like, Impressionist painting. I was wondering that. It's exactly that.

I was wondering that because I noticed that and I was like, oh my gosh. And then also there's like a Whistler's Mother sort of thing at the beginning where she's looking, where the older, when she's wearing the black dress and she's holding the. Yeah, so she comes back after the come back to me moment. I feel like there are lots of painterly moments throughout the film. And the lighthouse and the boat and the way it was docked.

Oh my gosh, that was stunning. Yeah, on their day of love walking out in the park. A lot of painting moments in that day. I'll tell you the one moment that I was reminded that it was a European director. And I was like, oh, only a European director would do that.

It was amazing. It was when he's coming out before he sees her for the first time. And he walks out of the building and there's somebody painting inside a room. And they shut the blind. And so it's black.

And so you see the reflection of her. So you're seeing her for the first time. in the same shot as him seeing her for the first time and it's stunning and it was a good touch it was a really beautifully composed moment yes yay. Who is it? Richard Collier good morning um you sleep alright? wonderfully oh sorry I didn't sleep too well either. But I was on a porch chair, so, you know.

Don't you even have a room? Yes, I will, at 918. Room 416. I mean, would you like to go to breakfast? It's 6 a.m.

Oh, well, later? I don't eat breakfast on performance days. Oh, no, of course not. Lunch? Mr.

Collier. No, no, no, it's not Mr. Collier. Isn't that your name? Well, yes, that's my name.

Shh, shh, shh. What? Marie, she's sleeping in the other room. Marie? My maid.

Oh, I'm sorry. Of course, my name is Mr. Collier, but I was hoping maybe you'd call me by my first name, Richard. Why should I? I don't know.

Just hoped you would. When can I see you today? I shall be rehearsing all day. All day? That's crazy.

Will you walk with me? Can you do that much? Woman, if you do not walk with me, I shall go mad. Hostilely insane and do crazy things to myself. Walk with me.

Please. Say, Richard. That's me. Thank you. I would love to walk with you and talk with you and get to know you and not be afraid of you and resolve everything.

Say yes. Yes. One o'clock. Outside the hotel. She's crazy about me.

I remember. There was something that I was thinking, viewing it from today's perspective. And it's funny, even in 1980, it wasn't as much of an issue as definitely not in 1912. But like. Looking at it from this perspective, I was like, this guy just seems like a crazy stalker.

He would. He was. And he was. He knew all about her. He followed her there.

And I was like, everything he kept saying to her, I was like, if you said this to a woman now, you would be on the floor and security would be hauling you out. Hauling you out. Exactly. Well, it actually reminded me of a movie. Have either of you seen the movie Happy Accidents?

A Brad Anderson movie. It came out probably 2000. And it's a fascinating film. I think really overlooked. It has Vincent D'Onofrio and Marissa Tomei in it.

And he plays this man who has come from the future. I can't remember exactly what the premise is. I think he sees a photo of her, actually, and comes back from the future to find her. This is his true love. He comes back to find her.

And so at one point, he decides to tell her, I came from the future. She can't figure out. She's always had bad luck with men. And there's this man, and he's perfect. And then he says...

Honey, I just need you to know that I came from the future. And she's like, WTF? What is going on here? I'm in love with this crazy person. This person's a lunatic just like all the others.

And it turns into this really beautiful movie about trust and how much love does it take to trust somebody that when they say I came from the future, you believe them. And it's a fascinating film. I like that. You might want to see it. Nice.

Because we would think someone was crazy. Yeah, absolutely. That's the natural reaction. It works on film, but not in this hallway. I know what you're saying.

I know what you're saying. So, yeah, so many of these, that element of him just following her around and knowing so much about her seemed weird from today's perspective. There would be a court order that comes with that. Definitely, definitely. It's true.

And then, yeah, just telling someone that you're from the future would probably not pan out well either. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other thing, I guess just the wrap-up, and this I thought was interesting because, I mean, it is. It's considered one of the greatest romances, at least of modern times. And I don't know.

Again, me being the cynical bastard I am, I was just like, so wait, really? Other than these couple of days they were together, their lives were horrible. Like, she lived, like, for years. Like a prisoner. Like a prisoner.

Her career just died, and she lived, like, old and lonely and depressed for, like, how many years there, waiting for him to come back around. Right, right, right. And then he starved himself to death. Spoiler alert. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was a much more grisly finale than I was anticipating. I was not expecting it. Again, it had been years since I'd seen it, so I was just like, I remembered it being a little more romantic, and then it got to the end, and I was like, this is kind of sad. Other than that last shot, it could be a very more Romeo and Juliet kind of a romance. Well, let's make something positive out of it.

Like, live each one day at a time, and if you love someone, tell them today, because you may not have tomorrow. There you go. There's our lesson. That's a good spin on it. Yay, okay.

And then in the end, the clouds will part, and Jane Seymour will be waiting for you. And unfortunately, she'll still be young, hot Jane Seymour, not crazy old Whistler's mother Jane Seymour. Exactly. Great. Oh, man.

Were there any other things we needed to hit on that one? I think, yeah, it's definitely interesting. I found a lot more in the time travel. Yes, you did. But, again, I mean, I think I knew the romance end of it.

So I think I was going in trying to find other stuff and trying to find some other interesting spins on it. Right, right. But, yeah, it is ridiculously well shot. The score is amazing. Yep.

Both of them. I mean, as good as Jane Seymour looks, this is Christopher Reeve in his prime. He's a beautiful man. It's hard not to like anything that's on screen. Two perfect people going at it with each other.

Of course you're going to watch that. Who wouldn't watch that? So, yeah, it definitely hits all the notes it needs to on this. It's an interesting movie. Well, thank you for approving of my choice.

I appreciate it. Thank you so much. You're precious. Definitely. So, yeah, anything else?

I guess, do you want to tell people to find you online? Yes. Very good. Yes, if you're looking for me on the interweber net, you can find me at the.com. That is the clearinghouse for all things Dougie on the web.

And possibly the best website name I've ever heard. Right. Webmaster Helen came up with it. She runs it from Scotland. I love her madly.

She's like a sister to me. But there will be a button there for Twitter, which is actordougjones on Twitter. You can find me on the Facebook. I can't befriend you, unfortunately, anymore on my personal page because I have too many. But you can subscribe to that personal page, or you can hit the Like button on my fan page or my professional page.

Both are Doug Jones, and it will be a picture of me. But you'll know it's me because I post every day almost on there. So it's really me if you see the Doug Jones person talking. That's me. Sounds good.

All right, well, we'll tell them to go find you and look for you at upcoming conventions. Yes, yeah, well, there's an appearances page on thedougjonesexperience.com, and I'll have all my upcoming conventions, which I do the circuit around the country as much as I possibly can between movies. Definitely. Yay, all right. All right, I think that is it.

So thank you once again for talking to me. This has been great fun, yeah. Thank you. Where there is time there is tomorrow Somewhere in time all sorrows pass to memory And so. The end is the.

Beginning Somewhere in time, we are as we're meant to be. Where there is time. No cards to book, just go get it. You'll be sorry you missed your chance to enjoy it. Dear Mr.

Vernon, we accept the fact that we have to sacrifice a few hours a week to podcast about whatever you find important. But we think you're crazy asking us to write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each of us is a podcast about other podcasts. A podcast about television.

A podcast about films. A podcast about music. A podcast about books. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Podcast Podcast.

The Podcast Podcast is your one-stop source for all the podcasts on the internet. Each week we have very special guests from some of the best shows on iTunes so that you can decide if you should check them out or keep on moving. Find us at thepodcastpodcast.com or search for us in the iTunes store by looking for me, Fozzie Bear. That's F-O-Z-Z-I-E-B-A-R-E. Hi, this is Emma Caulfield, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown.

It's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are. Answered in the movies. And now, on with the show.

You and I together in our. Lives Secret times we're never free Then why can't I. Let myself tell lies And watch you die. Every day I think back to the times. When dreams were what mattered Talk, talk, and youth, naivete.

You said you'd never let me down. But the horror stampede rages in the name of desperation. Is it all. Just wasted time? Can you look at yourself when you think.

Of what you left behind? Is it all just wasted time? Can you live with yourself when you think of what you've left behind? All right, we are back. Do we have any rounding out?

I mean, we had the whole Doug Jones experience, literally. So, I mean, do we have any other fun memories from the unnamed convention? No, I thought he winked at me. And don't you say that he winks at every girl. I was going to say he's done that before.

You know, I'm not going to say that he winks at every girl. Thank you. I saw him. I don't think he winked at me. He winked at me.

It's all good. Nobody creepy we can be this time, so that's okay. I saw my friend Chuck. If you're ever at these movie conventions, buy a magnet from Chuck. Skull 13.

I would say something about that one guy who did the Johnny Egg painting, but I really don't remember his name. It's out in the car. We'll look and see. But he's awesome. Yeah.

Shop at his booth, too. He does all kinds of cool paintings. Except for the clowns. Not so many clowns as much. Anymore, but yeah, he'll do more stuff.

That guy's awesome. There's a lot of people. There was a lot of people this time. And there were some with questionable hygiene, which kind of threw me back into Comic-Con. But then even Comic-Con didn't smell that bad.

I don't know. It smells like a dead skunk out in the hallway. Yeah, that's just out in the hallway there. I don't know what's going on. No, I'm talking about a couple people that had body funk odor, and I was just like, God, really?

Come on, man. Oh, geez. There was one moment where I was walking down the hallway, and I'm behind a seven-foot man with a pig head on, and I'm passing by all these other random monsters and creatures and bloody faces, and then there's a lady that passes by me on the other side going the opposite direction, and she's got a baby in a backpack. I was like, oh, this poor child. What a scarred little bastard this kid is going to be.

I mean, think about it. He's just at the point of probably remembering stuff right about now. Because he wasn't a newborn. He was big enough that. I kind of think that kids, depending on how they're brought up, if they're brought up to be scared of stuff like that, then yeah, they're going to be scared of it.

But if they're brought up not to be scared of stuff, I mean, come on. My kid grew up with Beetlejuice and mostly Buffy. And yet still afraid of stormtroopers. Yeah. Why stormtroopers?

Why stormtroopers? Because they scare her for some weird reason. Well, they're evil. They are. But luckily they're a bad shot, so you don't have to worry.

Yeah. Vampires? Not so much. Beetlejuice? She loves Beetlejuice.

He's your friend if you watch the cartoon. No, I'm talking about the movie. He's a jackass in the movie. But she loved him. I love him too, but he's a jackass.

I think we should talk about how excited Lucy was to see Alex Winter come. It took me aback. I was not anticipating being that excited. I mean, I think he's fantastic. I think he actually might be a genius.

But I wasn't expecting to, like, get. All gushy and weird. I expect that when I meet everybody. Yeah, it's very rare that I get, I mean, I have social anxiety, so it's weird for me to be able to talk to people, but for me to get that, like, oh my god, oh my god, shaking, like, it's, yeah, that's only happened like a handful of times. Yeah, it was just this completely involuntary thing.

I still don't really understand what was happening. I don't think it ever happens to me. No, it doesn't. You have to stop and think and make sure. Just to double check, yeah.

Okay. I can talk to anybody pretty much. Dude, you are the most friendly talking to damn anybody person I've ever met. You talk to me for God's sake. But yeah, it was pretty funny.

She was so happy. It was pretty good i was excited for her. And I got his autograph too. He didn't seem very pleased. But I guess he was nice enough.

He just seemed kind of like he didn't really care to be there, I guess. He seemed like he was ready to go. I wanted to talk to him about Freak, but he just looked like he didn't really want to get into. Any kind of conversation. I don't think it was just here, because I've seen other stuff of him out there and Even then, he seems very uncomfortable.

And I don't know that it was, like, people talking to him about that, because he seemed okay with the fans. I think it was just, like, the whole situation. Like, he just, I don't know. He always seems kind of like, eh, do we have to? He never really seems excited about it, but he does.

He's a good sport about it. I didn't like that I had to hand my money to the douchebag next to him. He wouldn't actually take my money. I had to hand it to the douchebag. Yeah.

That's his job. But I don't like that guy. He's a douchebag. But, I don't know. I guess we didn't really have any bad experiences.

I didn't punch anybody. That's good. I didn't get punched. That's pretty exciting. It was a good day.

Randy gave me a hug and I didn't punch him. My headache's slowly going away. The time continuum's time loop space barrier broke my brain. Oh, it'll come back as soon as we get in the car. Yeah, probably.

I was trying to decide which one brought it on the time loop or the car ride here. I don't know which, but I'm slowly recovering. I'm blaming the skunk smell in the hallway. Nice. Anything else from this fun-filled activity?

I'm trying to think. Hold on. Nope. I got a free shirt. And a free pen.

I had to get a syringe pen. That's pretty awesome. I somehow managed not to buy anything. Yay. Mm-hmm.

Yay for me. I bought Alex Winter's autograph, but he signed it over somebody else, so it's like if I ever meet that guy, he's screwed because he can't sign over himself. You just got to pretend like he's Alex Winter. He signed over the blonde, Brooke... I forget that guy's name.

Brooke McAllister. I'm totally making that shit up. I was about to say, if you're even close, I'm so impressed. You should totally Google that shit. I'm pretty sure it's Brooke something.

I know the other one. But I keep forgetting. Billy Wirth. Yeah, Billy Wirth. I like that Billy Wirth.

Whatever happened to Billy Wirth? He did a convention a couple years ago. Yeah. That was a good potential. They were both at work.

Yeah, now that I got that picture and I want to get the other two to sign it. See, I think the blonde could just sign over Kiefer Shudderlund's face because I'm never going to see him anyway. No. Oh, then 24 convention. It'll happen.

No, it won't. And everybody but him will be there. Yep. Because he's Kiefer Nam Sutherland. And he'll still be making more of these off-the-man fucking TV shows.

So he won't have to do conventions. Exactly. I wanted to go get back on the elevator because I saw that Sean Patrick Flannery and Michael Rooker were getting ready to get on. I was like, dude, Jay, go get on the elevator. So we can see we've been on the elevator with Michael Rooker and Sean Patrick Flannery.

And he was like, no. Especially because it was a really scary elevator that seemed to stop and start at strange times. You could have been stuck in an elevator. With Sean Patrick Flannery. With his face.

It's not like you could tell he'd be worried or anything. I can mold it for him to a different. What look do you want now? Worried? Concerned?

Let me mold that into your face. You're going to be his personal face assistant. Watch his room be like one door over. Hey Sean, what's up? Face wrangler.

I want to be Sean Patrick Flannery's face wrangler. That would be so awesome. Book him with a stick. Oh, Lord. Michael Rooker.

He is cool. He is. But I couldn't go to his room. They wouldn't let me in the Michael Rooker room. Cheers.

I know. Because I wouldn't get in the line. I don't know who's in there. Why am I getting in this line? Bitch wouldn't tell me who was in there.

I'm like, I was trying to look at the door. She's like, you can't go in there unless you're in the line. I'm like, well, who's in there? He had me in a line to get in. I'm like, but I'm...

I know that. That's not what I'm talking about. What line? I can't see who's in the room. You're not allowed to see.

You just wait in a line. It's like a grab bag. You wait in a line and you get somebody's autograph. Like, I'll tell you who. I'm not that bad for Sean Patrick Flannery because they put him in the Walking Dead room because I figured they had Norman Reedus from Walking Dead.

And him together. That way you get the Boondock Saints thing. But then Norman Reedus canceled. So it was just Sean Patrick Flannery sitting in the Walking Dead room. I didn't hear Norman's canceled.

Yeah, he wasn't there. Hmm. Hmm. He was having trouble anyway from what I was reading online about his plane wasn't coming in until like today or late last night or some shit. He's become like kick ass on The Walking Dead now.

I haven't watched the new season yet. He is awesome on it. Like he just I don't know. He's kind of stepped up in the plot line a little bit. Awesome.

Because he is awesome. I think I work with the real life his character. But can't be as awesome. This guy's eh I don't know but he's He's pretty whacked out. He's fucking 900.

Degrees of crazy. Because he carries around squirrels. You know what? I wouldn't be half surprised. He does do a lot of hunting.

And he's just, like I said, he's. Wacky as all hell. Kind of looks a little bit like him, too. I like Norman Reedus now. At first, he was just the weird-looking brother.

And now Sean Patrick Flannery has become. The weird looking brother. I'm telling you. I switched to the second movie because we started watching Boondock Saints 2 and we're like, who's that chunky guy playing Norman Reedus' brother? Oh, wait.

That's Sean Patrick Flannery. I'm telling you, he's definitely stepped up on The Walking Dead. He's a lot more likable this time around and just a little cooler as well. I liked him the first season, though. He just, well, I mean, he was... sort of caught up in the whole Michael Worker thing.

So, you didn't like Michael Worker. Oh, you weren't supposed to, mind you, but you didn't like Michael Worker's character. So, he's the brother and he's sort of caught up in the whole family thing and you didn't trust him because of that. So, he's sort of proving himself as a character this time around. It's pretty interesting.

Your shoes kind of remind me of xylophones. Yeah. I was just like looking at your shoes. I hadn't thought of that. And I was like thinking, I was like, if I had a thing, I would go ding, ding, ding.

You're right. You're absolutely right. Will that round up the convention here? Yeah. Convention, which will not be named.

Convention-filled activities. Yeah, I think so. All right. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week.

Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll be right back. Have the time to lose an open mind a time to choose would you care to take a look at how you read. Me like a book you're. In the wind on my. Side you're.

Can I take you? Come with me We'd never make a fulfilling dream If I say I'd take you there Would you go? Would you be scared? Time is always on. My side Time is always on my side Don't be afraid, you're safe with me.

Safe as any soul could be. Thank you. Thank you. Like a wolf in sheep's clothing You try to hide your deepest sins Of all the things that you've done wrong And I know where you belong Death is always on my side Death is always on my side Make you an offer you can't reach You've only. Got your soul to lose.

Eternally into my mind Oh Oh Oh. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!