154: Hot Damn, it's a Black Christmas

Why can't I stop eating candy? I have a candy problem. Because it's candy? I have a candy problem. The following program is a special presentation.

The following program is a proud member of the Palover family of podcasts. Check out all the shows over at palover.com. That's P-A-L-A-V-R dot com. Merry Christmas! Dinner was full!

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. You use up all the glue on purpose! We're having a party, a soul Christmas party.

We've got good music, soul-popping music. There is no Christmas like a soul Christmas, no, no, no. We're shing-a-lingin' Soul dancin' three All round the Christmas tree There is no Christmas Like us old Christmas, no, no, no. You know Santa Claus, yeah, yeah, yeah Got. To have a soul, na, na, yeah.

There is no Christmas like a soul Christmas, no, no. Happy Holidays and welcome to Moving Out Down. Once again, I am Brian. I'm Marlena. I'm Jay.

A little slow. I am Mr. Ford. I'm Greg. We are back once again to continue our holiday festivities.

The holiday... Marathon, marathon. The 10-hour podcast. Holiday special, in quotes, as usual. I'll be recording this until Christmas.

That's the plan. Gotta wait till Santa gets here. So, um, yeah. I guess we didn't officially rename it that, but if you want, we can still play the theme from last year for you, Greg. Your favorite part.

Your favorite part. Yeah, kind of. All right, so we're back, and this time we have busted out the hot chocolate. We're going full on, but as usual, we have to have other special activities and additives. You have to have more sugar than you can handle more.

It's getting late. I'm going to need it. I already really feel like I'm going to puke. But I just, I'm already like. So you've had pizza, jerky, candy.

Soda. Hot soda. Soda. Here was the really special one to go with the hot cocoa. I was going to just get marshmallows.

And then I found these. They're cocoa goldfish that swim in your hot chocolate. And they come with marshmallows. Holy crap. Wow.

I'm not sure how I. Feel about this. They're chocolate graham crackers, marshmallow flavored fishes. Do they melt? Who cares?

They're fishes swimming in your hot chocolate. I'm disturbed. It's the best idea ever. Come on. I'm not sure yet.

We'll have to let you do it. I'll do anything once. My ghost marshmallow is almost completely melted, so I'm almost. Yeah, you've got ghost marshmallows. I've got leftover Halloween spooktacular marshmallows.

You can listen to the package opening on the podcast. There's fish swimming in my hot chocolate. I leave. I'm a little too amused by that. On the way home, though.

Well, no, it doesn't matter. It seems like either way, it gets you. It took me an hour and a half the other day to get home. Oh, no. That one's diving.

The day that four people wrecked... That was funny. Skye! You don't. Want them?

Oh, look at that. They're swimming. That's what I'm saying. You can't go wrong with swimming fishes in your shop. Swimming with the fishes.

So do they have like a layer of something keeping out the extra layer of sugar? I'm sure there's plenty of sugar. Don't you worry. Oh no, they're soggy. Yeah, they're supposed to.

So they're just going to turn into mush. Yeah. Here's some marshmallows. You're still not finding them. I have like eight cookies and no marshmallows.

Oh, I got them all. Wow, they're like. You can even like, they're like, they're like, really? Mm-hmm. Okay, I'm giving up.

Whoa. It's fine then. I think Marlena got all the marshmallows. It totally just disappears. Mushy man graham crackers.

I'll check it. They do, they melt in your mouth. We'll balance it out with cookies. Of course, they have to be Christmas themed. Peppermint cookies.

What? Peppermint. Fuck. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

Pepperidge. Oh, never mind. Some sort of farm that makes cookies. Cookie farm. Cookie farm.

Cookie farm. It comes in the special bag. We're not plugging anything, are we? What are you talking about? We have two cookies because Zach and I.

Cookie? Yep. Yeah, cookies. Cookies that come with their own coffee filters. I'm in for you.

You get the leftover. No, I'm going to put that in my coffee. There you go. Man, fuck it. There's no way to describe these without plugging them.

Special holiday peppermint Oreo. Yeah, we are going to eat those. I'm going to bark. I feel like I'm going to puke for the last several days. Well, you came to the right place.

Then you just go ahead and puke. I know. No, not anymore. We need to clean the floor, too. Yeah, we used the Swiffer.

The bathroom floor is so clean, too. All right, I'm taking a seat. I'm going to the floor. Cookie party. I'm not entirely sure how I feel, but I love Oreos, but these are just...

I like Oreos. I did persimmon cookies the other day. They were really good. Are these double-stuffed quantity cream? I don't think so.

I don't know. They seem like it. Well, they made the holiday-colored version, but they were still normal. But I was like, eh. They were still thick, though.

Yeah. But I was like, if we're going to get them, because these are less. You've got to pay more for this high-end, super-deluxe version. But I was like, if we're going to get them for the special holiday festivities, we're going to get the limited edition, they-only-make-these-at-Christmas kind of thing. It's our usual specialty candy thing.

I've had as much sweets tonight as I had pork at the Oscar party. That's how we roll. That's just kind of how we operate. Everything to excess. Next year I'm bringing Braunschweiger to the party.

So are we ready to roll in the geek weeks? Do you want to arm wrestle over who goes first? We're continuing on, so... Marlena, are you ready for your fun-filled Marlena moment? My Marlena moment?

Is this a special holiday edition? Is it not holiday themed? We can do it regular style. It is really funny, though. It might not be funny.

It's funny the way your stories are funny. I mean, it was really funny when I was telling Bobby about it the other day, but I don't know how funny it is now. It was like a week ago now. Alright, well, I'll introduce it either way. And now it's time for a Marlena moment.

The other day I was walking my dogs and my drunk gay neighbor stumbled upon me and he loves my dogs and he loves me and he's like, oh my god Marlena, I would love to walk your dogs with you. Let me walk your dogs with you. And I was like, okay. So we were walking around the block and my dogs love him. They like take off and go towards him when they see him in the yard.

So of course like It's opposite of productive if I'm just taking my dog out to poop. She's not going to poop because she's, like, so excited. So that's what happened. So we're walking through the alley, and she sees, like, a cat turd or something. She loves to eat cat poop.

She's sophisticated. She's gross. I have two dogs. One dog loves to eat poop. The other one will eat poop if it's there, but, you know, he's not as into it.

Has a little more sense. He's not as ambitious. At least she has a sense to be afraid of me. Yeah. So, we're walking through the alley, and Gogo finds, like, this gigantic cat or dog or human turned.

I don't know. It was dark. You were in Jeffersonville. Yeah, you were in Jeffersonville. Yeah.

Could have been the hot damn hobo's poop. That sounds like a different story. A hobo that likes hot damn. Yeah, there's hot damn bottles all over. the alley behind that house every day. I'm like, this has been going on for four years.

You're hot damn. Hot damn. It's Marlena's house. Yes. I would love for a hobo to just slam down the bottle out there, finish, and.

Go, hot damn! I would love to see that. Actually, I want to fucking know who's drinking all this hot damn. I want to know who's drinking at least two bottles of hot damn every night for at least four years and not fucking died. Basically, based on this week, it's Margot Kidder.

It's not the Jeffersonville Sasquatch. Margot Kidder living in my alley? Maybe. I just saw her a few weeks ago. Maybe you can get an interview with her.

Give her some hot damn. Hot damn. Let's talk about Superman. Anyway. So, Gogo stumbles upon this turd and she puts it in her mouth and I didn't realize what she had at first.

I'm like, What do you have? And Michael was like, oh, my God, go, go. Get that out of your mouth. And tries to grab it out of her mouth. And it's just like this turn.

So he gets it all over his hands. This sounds like a scene from a John Waters movie. It does. It gets so much better. It gets so much better.

He's really drunk, as usual. Has he been the one drinking the hot day? Maybe, but he's more of a peach schnapps man. I don't know. Maybe it's all our rules.

I don't know. Hot damn, I like peach house. Maybe it was his turn. Maybe. Maybe.

That would be like going to the house. You're making me laugh so hard. I can't breathe. I got to shit. I'm drinking my hot chocolate if you.

Make me laugh. I love it. So, yeah, he gets poop all over his hand, and then he's like, oh, you know, he's really drunk. Ten seconds later, he forgets he has poop all over his hand. He keeps trying to high-five me, which is so inconvenient.

He's like, because he's moving from the apartment that's behind mine to the apartment directly above. That's all you guys do is shift apartments. You've been in tune, he's been in tune. Yeah, yeah. And he was talking about redoing the garden.

He's moved his garden. And, you know, he just keeps trying to high-five me, and he keeps scratching his nose and his face. And I'm just like, ugh. Could you at least at some point say, dude? No, I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do it. It would have just been more awkward. God damn, you got shit on your face. I would like to think that you would, like, call me if that ever happened. You would understand if you knew Michael.

If he deserved to have shit on his face. No, no, no. He doesn't deserve to have shit on his face. There's just no stopping him. He's like a.

A shitstorm. That doesn't even begin to describe it. A force of nature. He's a. I mean, after, like, I don't know how many drinks it takes, but after 5 o'clock, Like, you see him come and you have to hide.

I mean. That's gross. He'll try to rape your boyfriend. Wow. You have shit in your hot tub like this.

I know. Mine's like a layer. I think Michael washed his hands and like cut it. God, it was so awkward. I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what to tell him. Because I knew even if I told him, he would have forgotten 10 seconds after. It would have just. It would have been like I would have had to tattoo it on his hand. You wouldn't see him do the shit.

That's true. You guys want some more of these chocolatey cookies? No. I'm never putting that in, like, cocoa again. Damn it.

Yeah. Goldfish, you suck. Yeah. I got no marshmallows. I offered you a ghost marshmallow.

Chocolate pudding at the bottom. Yeah, really. It turned into chocolate mush. That's the bonus. Well, they, like, hid.

They hid at the bottom of my chocolate mug until I got down. I was like, I thought I got them all. Well, yeah, I thought I got them all, and I got down, and then they were down at the bottom waiting for me. The murky depths. They're sneaky fishes.

That's why I only put one fish in there. They jumped my taste buds. Right. Only one fish for me. And I ate it right off.

I'm sure I have about ten more Marlena moments, but that's the funniest one I can think of. Holiday related? She'll say no within five minutes from now. I know. I gotta carry a fucking notepad with me.

You should. Don't you have an iPhone? It doesn't have a notepad on it. It doesn't come with a recorder built into it. It does have a notepad, but...

I don't have a pencil. That's true. I don't have that. You're just talking to her. Yeah.

That's true. Okay. That's it for you? I think so. Until something springs to your mind.

Until something else really funny I remember. Great. Oh, that's for me. I guess. I don't know.

Okay. Well, whichever you want to do next. Do you want to go and then I'll go? Alternate out again. Sure.

Give people something to look forward to. Give them time to think something else crazy. Right. So I actually have to talk about movies now. Or not.

Or poop. I don't have any good poop stories. Other than the new neighbors that moved in. Their five-year-old slipped and dog pooped in our backyard. It was hilarious.

Playing on the swing set with our kids. Where you put all the landmines up. Right. But they have dogs, so I'm not too worried about it. Let's see.

I watched movies. Not anything great, but. I watched Jackass 3. On purpose? 3D?

Yeah. But not so deep? Right. I honestly got about halfway through and I said, why did I even start it? You know.

My boyfriend said he saw that in a theater for some strange reason. He said it was the best 3D movie he's ever seen. That's what I've heard, actually. I didn't have 3D. I've heard the 3D technology they used was pretty impressive.

It's on my hard drive, and then Misty was like, why is this on your hard drive? And I was like, I don't know. I might watch it sometime, but I'm not sure why. Well, the best parts about it to me is they've got... access to a really good super slow-mo camera. And so when they hit each other in the face and you see the ripples through their face, their nose move, that's kind of fun.

They're getting old, and it's kind of getting a little pitiful, I think. And you can tell that they just don't want to do it anymore. It's just for a paycheck. and they don't really even like each other, I. Think, most of it anymore, so. That's what I heard, and it's almost funny, because something like that, you would think there's nothing to it except them being stupid, but they were like, if you watch the trilogy of Jackass, you really do see the arc of them, you know, in the beginning, being young, stupid kids, and wanting to do whatever the hell they wanted, and now they're old men, and they're just like, oh, I broke 17 things off this, and my back hurts, and I don't really even like you motherfuckers, and There is almost like a story arc, too, as you watch all three of them.

Like, Steve-O is sober, and he hates it. You can tell he hates every second of it. He's disgusted by what they're doing. He's afraid of pain. He just doesn't want to be there.

It's, you know. Well, yeah, being sober makes you afraid of pain. Yeah, that's why they made him do all the stupid stuff in the beginning. He didn't know what was going on. Sure, okay, good.

So, you know... Beavis and Butthead were in the beginning of it. That was pretty funny. Is it funnier than what the show has become? See, I don't have MTV, so I don't know.

Oh, you're not missing much. Yeah, it's ridiculous. The reboot's horrible. Butthead convinces Beavis that his fist is in 3D. It's not a real fist, and he keeps punching him with it.

That's probably the funniest part of the movie to me. That says a lot. Yeah, so I kind of questioned why I watched it. Other than if you want to see it, you know, falling apart, I think that's what it looks like to me. It's kind of like the Swan Song film.

Yeah. I mean, it made a decent amount of money, so they might be able to afford to do a fourth one, but I don't know if they get convinced. Right. I guess enough money will make them come back, but they're going to kill somebody. That will be like the ultimate way to really the grand finale.

Four. What? You drink too many damn soft drinks. Yeah. What?

I don't care. I drink hardly zero. I drink zero soft drinks. Okay. My grandma won here.

I can do what I want. All right. I rarely ever drink soft drinks. Okay. You're going to make up.

For it all in one night. It's party. It's the holiday party. Would you rather me have like. Four old Milwaukee's?

No, I guess I don't want to hear you complain about it tomorrow. Oh, I shouldn't drink a little soft drink. I'll be okay. I don't want to hear you. Complain about it.

I don't want to hear anything. All right. But, yeah, that will be the grand finale is when they, like, end up killing Steve-O or Johnny finally, like, loses. An arm or something. And Ryan Dunn's already dead, so.

Yeah. Who's dead? Ryan Dunn with his beard. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

He car crashed, I think. Yeah. No. It was a jacket. No, he was drunk and not driving.

He didn't fail. I can't feel sorry for him. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm not sorry.

I can't feel sorry. I apologize for my life. I'm sorry. Don't be a drunk is the moral of that story. I can't feel sorry for anybody that drinks and goes out and gets themselves killed.

I watched Limitless. I saw it on there. I just haven't One and two. I've heard a lot of people, because when I first saw the previews, I thought, this is going to be horrible. Yeah.

And I heard a lot of people say that it was a lot better than they thought. That's what I've heard, but I still couldn't make myself do it. Yeah, he annoys the crap out of me, Bradley Cooper. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And the beginning of it was good. You know, it's about, he takes a drug and it makes him, you know, 20 times smarter than, you know, he uses the full potential of his brain. Yeah. And can learn any language, can trade stocks. Whatever he wants to do, he can learn how to do.

It's almost like a superhero movie there at the beginning. It has him off the drug and him on the drug. Then it turns into your thriller-type movie of who's got control and who's really. The bad guy. Is there a conspiracy?

Is there a grand conspiracy? corporation that's running everything. With Umbrella doing it. Right. It's the government slash the corporation. And it does that stuff.

And then it has this big, you know, it's got kind of a, you know, you feel it coming. It's going to have a twist. It's going to have the cold reveal, or the, you know, the big reveal of what, and instead of actually coming out and saying what it is, it jumps to a year in the future. Yeah. And then kind of through the conversation lets you soft your way and to learn your way into what the twist is.

And it just kind of falls flat, I thought. Visually, there was some neat stuff, like when they're transforming from, I guess, showing what maybe the feel of him going into this drug state is. But it just. It was a lot weaker than I thought it was going to be. Robert De Niro's in it.

It didn't matter. He'll kind of show up for anything if you throw a check. And no offense to him, I would too. I mean, they're giving him probably a huge check to do these little half-assed parts that all he has to do is show up for a couple days and learn some lines. And, I mean, he's in New Year's Eve for fuck's sakes.

Everybody is. Yeah, I saw it. But, I mean, everybody else, I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, all of it was like a checklist. Like, I had no surprise on anything.

And got to that one, I was just like, oh, God. It was like they wrote a good-sized check for that. So more power to him. Cash in while you can. Check.

I don't understand. Valentine's Day was so horrible. That's why they made another one. Because it made money. I guess.

That's all it takes. Stupid or not, as long as you make money. But, yeah, it's not worth watching. I mean, I watched it for free. It's not worth it.

So I don't think I watched anything else. My wife is now. We started watching Breaking Bad. I think I might have mentioned that last time. We started watching that, and about a week ago, we were sitting there, we were watching a movie, and she goes, let's just start Firefly over again.

Oh, yeah. And she is not a sci-fi geek at all, and that show... Because I kept saying, you have to watch it, you have to watch it. Finally, about a year ago, she... We watched the entire thing.

Now she wanted to watch it again. Now she's like, well, we could watch Battlestar Galactica. You suckers. She's converted. The old one or the new one?

I haven't seen any of the new ones. Everybody likes the new one. I've heard that it's one of the best sci-fi shows. I'm going to be a geek, though. I'm going to be an old school geek.

I've heard it's... I'm not saying. They're not both worth watching, but I think Again, I haven't watched it yet, but it's one of those I do kind of want to, just from what I've heard story-wise and character-wise. They really put a lot of time into it. Are you confused?

Noah Hathaway was a kid on that? He was bossy. Oh, hell, man. I totally forgot about that. Why am I not surprised?

I would have said something to him at the other convention when I was talking to him. I used to watch that show all the. Time when I was a kid. It was just cheesy. Cheesy.

It was the only sci-fi we had on TV at the time, really. I'm not expecting grand scale. I loved the Cylons back then. I had the little... The ship?

It shot missiles. The wings would open up and each one had a missile under it. I had that and I had the... What was the fighter called? The Viper?

What were they called? I just had the little action figure guy. That was awesome, too, because he was shiny. The only thing the Cylon did is it bent in half. Its legs kicked up just so that it could sit in the seat.

Well, that was the same thing with the fighter. The fighter guys, the good guys, they were the same thing. Their legs just went like that. You set them in there and it had a rocket. In the front.

That shot out the... Yeah. That was back when toys were cool. They shot rockets and shit. You can't do that now.

You're getting choked. Choked on it. Died. I'm going to make. A shit up or are you telling the truth?

No, that's why they quit. Okay. Producing toys like that. I don't remember if it was a. Maybe.

I'm sure somebody knows out there. I heard different things. I heard it was the Boba Fett rocket pack. I don't think that ever got made. I don't think that ever got.

Made, yeah. The thing that I think it was was I think it was a. Shogun Warrior, maybe? Probably, because I've got. One of those.

Aphrodite A or something like that with the tits missiles? I think one of them shot down a kid's throat. The main leader, Shogun, had the fists that shot the rocket. Never mind. What?

Did it shoot into the kid's mouth or wasn't there one? He had his mouth on the nipple. A kid dying from Aphrodite A's tit missile shooting down his throat would be awesome. That kid's a legend now. Of course every kid wanted to do that.

That's living. That's the way to go. For that instant he was alive. He was dead. Truly dead.

I don't remember exactly what it was but anyways a kid choked on one of the missiles like that which is why they quit producing toys that shot little missiles. because i remember getting the transformers i remember the transformers they still had shooting missiles but they. Were weak yeah they didn't shoot so. What i used to do my dad was my dad always had tons of like uh hardware and shit in the garage i would take them apart and upgrade the springs on them before the fuckers would shoot Because they used to put these little weak-ass. Springs in it. Not mine.

Mine would put out. A fucking eye. I'm wondering you're alive. I fixed that shit. I know, with all the fucking shit that I caught on fire and blew up.

All the trips to the hospital. All the trips to the hospital. Stitches. All the broken bones. Now they hurt every morning.

I get up and I'm like, oh. Why did I do all that shit? Oh, shit. Yeah. A hijacker story.

Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, it was limitless. I don't know where, why. Battlestar Galactica. Battlestar Galactica.

Oh, yeah, we'd like to start watching it. I just haven't yet, so. You were talking about how awesome Firefly was, and then you said she liked watching Firefly. It is awesome. I know.

That's the thing. It's more fun the third time. I do like Firefly. I've only watched it once. Maybe after we finish Supernatural.

We'll go back and watch it again. No, then we need to finish watching Dexter, and then work our way through Firefly. Okay. You've got a lot of work to do. Dude seriously that's a lot of work yeah got three seasons of Dexter to get through oh jeez.

And uh that yeah that's that's my life alright I'm usually too tired to watch anymore so. I only get through a couple things a week at this point. So I know what you're talking about kids shows see enough of that shit your favorites yeah oh I did go see the Muppet movie how was that Yeah, Marlene has mentioned it. I loved the Muppet movie as. A kid, so.

This was good for me. I'm sorry? The almost pointless cameos that are in it, that's always fun. I thought the humor was nice, and maybe too much forced nostalgia, I think. Yeah.

I mean, when it's about nostalgia, but. Yeah, it was fun, and you know, I had the thought, well, my kids are going to hate this because they don't know anything about the Muppets. And they really enjoyed it. It's kind of good to see that, again, because there aren't that many puppet-based shows anymore, are there? The great thing is, too, is.

You get to go back and rent all the old, well, rent or download all. The old Muppet movies and go back and watch them. Izzy's watched a lot of the old Muppet movies. Muppets in Space and Stuff like that. Was that one guy any less annoying than he is on How I Met Your Mother?

I really don't like that. He's like the weakest part of the How I Met Your Mother. That's Kobe. Oh, really? I don't think she's carried...

Well, what's his face? The architect guy. He's definitely the weakest link. Oh, oh, oh. The one married to Lily.

Oh, that guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. I don't like him. Marshall. Yeah.

I like It's All About Barney. It is all about Barney. Yeah. Barney's carrying a show on his back. Barney is the, you know, the...

Should be how I met Barney. Right. Well, it's like what they've done with Big Bang Theory. Yeah. But it's different because at least Barney's awesome.

Right. Usually somebody hijacks the show. Barney's the Michael J. Fox of this family dies. He just took over.

Yep, my show. Whatever. But it's awesome. You guys are lame. Yeah, everybody has on their little...

Allison Hannigan's okay. Yeah, see, I like her. I'm okay with Marshall, but again, in small doses. It's the Barney show. I love the one for Nick Tarrant Marshall.

I haven't seen that one yet, even though it has adorable Veronica Morrison. It's so funny. She's not very adorable in that movie. That's probably part of why I haven't seen it yet. And I really don't like Russell Brand.

Oh, yeah. He's in small doses, though. He's hilarious. He's supposed to be an asshole douche that you hate. So it's still funny.

What acting? Like, my favorite part, he's like, and I didn't think I had to tell you herpes because I haven't had an outbreak. Perfect. Yeah, if you want to see Jason Segel's wiener, you can watch that. Yeah, it was kind of an awkward moment.

Yeah. Yeah, you're not showing me. It's so funny. It's a great movie. Hmm.

Yeah, go, because I'm done. I also saw the Muppet movie. I liked that they changed their clothes, like, every five seconds. Like, they were constantly wearing different outfits, and for some reason that was really exciting for me. Yeah, that's weird.

Normally they never, other than Piggy, they never had another. Outfit, really. Well, like Amy Adams and Jason Segel. Those are people, they don't count. Like, every scene they had a different outfit on.

Humans are lame. And her dresses were. Really cute, so it was. Did they focus on her ass a lot? No, a lot.

That's pretty much what's carrying her career. Her ass? That's what carried her through those stupid Night in the Museum movies. She does a single number, a singing. The Me Party song.

Right, the Me Party. And it is such a I'm gonna go masturbate song. She's basically talking about it's a party about me and I'm gonna pleasure myself kind of thing. It's not supposed to be like that. That's kind of awkward, yeah.

If you weren't watching it and you were listening to that song, you'd be like Hmm. This is the divinals? Yeah. Hey, those are awesome. But that song made me really happy.

It was hilarious. It was my favorite song in the whole movie. I don't really remember much about it. I saw it on Thanksgiving, so I was, like, stuffed full of, like, turkey and stuff. Turkey coma.

Yeah, it was a turkey coma. Um, yeah. Yeah. I've been watching a lot of Party Down. I finally finished both seasons.

It's always sad for me to finish a season of anything because then it's just like I have to run something else to watch. Because most shows don't come back. I've never heard of this show. Yeah, I've told you. You need to watch it because it's basically a reunion for Veronica Mars.

At some point she comes... Who's the... What's Beaver's brother? The surfer douche? Dick.

He is actually really good on this. I mean, he's still kind of a surfer. Douche, but. They give him a little more to do, and he's pretty damn entertaining, I have to say. I did not expect to like him, and he carries more than I expected.

Jane Lynch is on it. I don't like her. I guess she left and went and did Glee or one of the other million things that she does. It's got Ken. Yeah, the other investigator guy.

What is his last name? Yeah. Oh, from the state? From the state. He's it.

But Veronica's dad's in an episode. Steve Guttenberg's in an episode. Is that his name? I don't remember. I love Veronica.

So yeah, seriously, like every episode, I'm like, oh, look, it's somebody else from Veronica. On this episode. There's only two. Is it still on? No, it was going to come back for a third, and Adam Scott got hired to be on Parks and Rec, which is a massively bigger show.

I would be so sad if I watched it then. I would get attached. No, it's worth it. I mean, I'm midway into the first season still, and I'm just like, this is possibly the best. Show that's ever been made.

Lizzie Kaplan, who's so pretty, I love her. Oh, God, I love Lizzie Kaplan. See, there's this episode where the main guy is dating Veronica Mars. Her name's Uta on the show, and she's like a horrible bitch. Veronica Mars is a horrible bitch?

But Lizzie Kaplan's Janissian. Remember Janissian? Like from the movie Genesee? No. I don't know what you're talking about.

Mean Girls. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You remember in Mean Girls, she was like her, like. The not preppy friend, the semi-gop.

I don't remember. And she was also, you remember that show, the. I've only seen it once. She's on the freaking vampire show, yeah. She was Jason's girlfriend that he was in love with.

Dark Hair. Oh, I hated her. No, she's awesome. I hated her on True Blood. Well, I haven't seen her on True Blood, but she's awesome.

That's true. But, um, what else was she... She was in that show, The Pits. God, I love it. The, like, five episodes of that show.

I thought that was awesome. Or she was, like, dating the car. That show was so ridiculous. I love Fox. They'll put anything on.

Especially Fox in, like, the 90s. They're like, you got a show? Good enough. Green light. Go for it.

But, um. Yeah, but he had to choose between, like, basically he had to choose between Lizzie Kaplan and Kristen Bell. I'm like, how do you decide? And why are you so fucking lucky, you weird-looking dude? Like, really?

He's so damn funny, though. He is awesome. Because I've seen enough. He's endearingly cute, too. I ignored Parks and Rec for, like, years, or however long it's been on, a year or two years, maybe.

And I was just like, eh, whatever. It looks like they're just trying to rip off The Office. So I finally started watching a few episodes. It's so much funnier than The Office ever was. I'm sorry.

I'm not a big Office fan, I know. I mean, there's a few people I like on there, but I just have never been on board for The Office. Parks and Rec is so damn funny, and it's got that, like, Party Down vibe to it, and a lot of it is that Adam Scott delivery. He's really good. Who's Adam Scott?

That sounds familiar. Oh, he's in Piranha, but he didn't. He's in a bunch of stuff now. Is that what the guy's name is? Adam Scott?

That's like his actual name. I didn't know what his real name was. He's in... He always plays a dick on whatever he's doing. Wasn't he on an episode of Veronica Mars?

Probably. I'm again. I mean, the producer of Veronica Mars is the guy who made Party Down. He was the teacher, wasn't he? The cool guy.

Wasn't he a cool teacher that got accused of having sex with the girls? I'm pretty sure that's him. He was like the asshole brother in like Step Brothers. I think, right? Or is it somebody else?

I don't know. Whatever, he's just this dude. He's funny. Okay, move on. Yeah, so I ran out of episodes of that, so I've had to settle for the Sarah Silverman program, which is not that funny, but it puts me to sleep.

I don't know. I would probably just start watching them over. I get attached to shows. Again, I'm watching Supernatural from the beginning again. I can't stop watching it now.

I can't. I would get sad. I love Brian Posehn on that show, on the Sarah Silverman program. He's so not. Do you know when Klaus is kind of funny?

The bearded guy? Yeah, he's so not gay and plays a king. Yeah, I know. That's awesome. That's kind of why it's awesome.

Right? I mean, there's definitely good parts about the show, but, I mean, for the most part, it's kind of annoying. I don't know. That's Sarah Silverman's thing. For the most part, she's annoying.

I'm kind of annoying, but I'm funny and I'm kind of cute, so what are. You going to do? Yeah. God, I've totally watched way more stuff. I'll watch the movie Insidious.

I heard it was awesome. I really liked it. I've had a couple people tell me it was good. At certain points, but I thought it was really good. It was pretty scary.

I watched it during the day. I can only watch horror movies during the day. I watch them at night. You have someone to sleep in your room with you. I don't.

You have your dogs. Good luck with that. You'll wake up in the middle of the night and your dog's eating your food or something. I lock him in the kitchen. And that sound wakes you up after watching a scary movie.

Yeah. No, I live alone. I can't watch a scary movie by myself. My boyfriend doesn't like scary movies and I don't really get to watch them very much. It kind of sucks.

You're not much of a horror fan, are you? I mean, you like them every once in a while, but usually if I'm like, what do you want to watch? You usually pick like a comedy or an action movie. It depends on what kind of mood I'm in. I'm always like, horror movies.

Yeah, horror movies are okay. They're my favorite. I know. I like a movie. I don't prefer gore movies.

I like something that's truly scary. It's just creepy. See, that's what I like. I like. I don't know, like psychological thrillers.

I like horror movies. I don't like torture porn or anything. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like torture porn. What do you know.

Like Saw? You didn't care about that? No, I don't care about that. I like old, old horror movies. I like horror movies.

I like old ones, too. And I don't have cable, so I kind of try to catch this. And this is not really a work-appropriate show, so I can't just watch the show at work, even though it's on FX. But I really want to watch American Horror Story. I've heard really good things about it.

Yeah, it's pretty convoluted from what I can tell. I'm okay with that. Yeah but I mean it's pretty good like it's got a lot of scary stuff to it like I think everybody knows I'm really afraid of pigs. And there's this episode called Piggy Man. I was going to post this video on your Facebook page.

It was a pig that apparently had lost its back leg, so it was running on its front leg, so it had its ass up in the air. And I was trying to get her to post it, and she wouldn't do it. And I was like, I'll post it. But then I felt really bad, and I didn't post it. No, but there's this episode of...

Like, a couple weeks ago, my dog peed on my pillow because he was mad at me. He's really bad. But, um, he's so cute, though. But, uh. I don't care how cute something is.

I put the pee on my pillow. His ass is gone. Yeah. Um, yeah, he peed on my... You better not pee on my pillows.

What? Don't pee on the pillows. But, uh, so I had to sleep at a friend's house, and, um. Do you have any more pillows? Well, he peed on my pillow, my mattress pad, and my comforter.

Mainly he peed on my pillow and it soaked through. And it was, like, 1030 at night, so it's not like I could just, like, wash it right then and there. But, um, so I had to stay at a friend's house and I watched a couple episodes of American Horror. And one of them was one about, it was called Piggy Man. And every time the guy, he was, like, it was, like, Bloody Mary, but this guy was, like, standing in front of a mirror and say something about Piggy Man.

And I had to, like, plug my ears and bury my face in the pillow. Like, I can't. What's this? Yeah, I do eventually want to see that show. I've heard it's really interesting.

I heard they just did one with it involved, like, Black Dahlia or something. Yeah, yeah. That's what I've heard. It's really weird. There's, like, a lot of different ghosts and things like that.

And people at work talk about it, and I can't even follow what they're talking about. It's so confusing. I'm like, what? And that person's a ghost, and then... this other person is killed and buried under the gazebo and what? I don't know.

Again, it's one of those that I'll have to wait until it's done and over and I can get the entire series and sit down and watch it all at once. Yeah, I mean, I definitely feel like I totally have had to watch more things in, like, the last month, but I'll be damned. If I can remember any of it. Too much sugar. Yeah.

You know, like, my boyfriend keeps trying to get me to watch stuff that I really don't want to watch at all. Like, I don't know. I fell asleep watching Apocalypse Now. He's like obsessed with making me watch that. I like how Jay's obsessed with making me watch that fucking movie with Alan Rickman and Tim Allen.

I'm not obsessed with it anymore. You sat and watched. We sat and you watched like five minutes of it and you didn't care so I turned it off. Galaxy Quest. Oh, Galaxy Quest.

That's a good movie. I hate that. She couldn't make it through the first five minutes and I was like, you know what? Nah, it wasn't even ten minutes. Isn't Professor Snape in that?

Yes I'm sorry I totally have to tear a thing about it I haven't watched it either I have no. Desire to see it can't get her to watch Conan either I have no. Desire to watch Conan or most things that involve fucking Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger I'm okay. With some good movies if it had like Dolph Lundgren I'd probably watch it I love Dolph Lundgren if it had Jean-Claude Van Damme I love Jean-Claude Van Damme except for in JCVD I could not get into that one I just don't like. We will watch Cyborg then.

Okay. That's got Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph. Lundgren in it. Oh, fuck yeah. I'll watch the hell out of that movie.

There we go. I don't know what I just got myself into. Yeah. Yeah. You heard it.

On air. Okay. That's Albert Pune. We talked to him. Yeah.

I think next time you're on the show you have to have a review. Or not Cyborg. Did I say Cyborg? I'm sorry. You said Cyborg.

Universal Soldier. Oh. Okay. Sorry. That is a two-for-one special, though.

Sorry about that. Yeah. I don't care. Because right now at home, somebody's going, no, that's Universal Soldier, you dumbass. Yeah.

Who's in Cyborg? Jean-Claude Van Damme. Nobody else? Dolph Lundgren. Oh.

Is Dolph Lundgren in Cyborg? No, Universal Soldier. Universal Soldier. Who else is in Cyborg, though? No, she has Cyborg.

Nobody. It's just of Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle. Okay. Yeah. No.

Don't worry about getting those confused. I said Hame was in Can't Buy Me Love, and that was Patrick Dempsey. It's the same fucking movie, though. I don't know. It just seems like Hame was in it.

He was in a lot of things. I've never seen that movie. Maybe he had a small role. That I saw. No, that was Patrick Dempsey.

Maybe he had a small role. Seth Green was in it, too. He was the little brother. Oh, shit. I love that movie.

Wow. Had Allison Hannigan in it, too. I'm not going to watch it again to confirm it, but okay. Yeah. Yeah, wow.

I always thought Allison Hannigan was Seth Green. Yeah, we're going to hate you, Rachel. I know. Is Seth Green gay? I don't know.

Huh? I don't know. Allison Hannigan married that one guy, though, so I think she's already taken. What one guy? Alexis Benesoff, who was Wesley on Angel.

They have a kid now. At least one. I thought they had two. I don't know. I saw her carrying one the other day.

What's your name? Ira? Yeah. Is that a Korean one? In real life?

Like, Sarah the Kroger? Yeah. She lives down in Trader Joe's. Seth Green's just a free man. He just, you know.

No, he got married. He married some girl. Oh, he did? Yeah. Okay, well, Seth Green's not a free man.

I don't know why I think all these, like, random child... I think if you were a child actor, you're probably gay. I don't know why that's... You have issues. Like, a big box is gay.

Gary Coleman wasn't gay. He was short. Maybe he should have been gay. Everybody on that show had issues of some sort, so I don't know. I mean, if they want to be gay, that's fine.

Yeah, that would have been a good thing on the side of everybody on that show. Everybody on that show had so many real issues, like, that doesn't even count. That's just your life. But they had real problems. Yeah, there was no good on that.

It would have turned out better if you were gay. I don't know about that. Well, I'm just kidding. If that was your only problem... I.

Don't know if that's a problem. Well, I. I think it's... Yeah, I think, yeah, they had way bigger things to deal with. I think it's just because I'm pretty sure...

What's his face that I was talking about earlier? Elijah Wood is gay. Macaulay Culkin, like Missy said, he might not be gay. He's just kind of pale. He's really effeminate, and it might just be because of Party Monster.

I don't know. I don't follow his life. I don't know that I ever saw him as being effeminate, even. Really? Once he got older, as a kid, he was just a goofy kid.

By the time he hit those weird indie movies, I was like, yeah, kind of, but I don't really know what's. Going on with him. I don't know if he's gay or not. But it's important. It's not going to change my view of him as an actor.

No, it's not. Right. I like being praised. Was it praised? Saved.

Saved. Sorry. Wow. He's pretty damn entertaining and saved. Yeah, whatever.

No, I was just thinking like... weird how many gay guys i've loved in my day like without even realizing they were gay like all the all the boys are you just making it up that's what i'm trying to figure out because like my i think the first boy i ever had a crush on in like preschool he was like my gay best friend and i'm just like did i always. Like gay dudes is cocaine abdicay yes he is sort of oh sort of. Which cocaine Abe? The dead one or the one on the wall? Which cocaine Abe is dead?

This is a legitimate question. You have a complicated life. I do. Wow. Hey, everybody.

Cocaine Abe. Which cocaine? Which one? The gay one. Which one?

The one that works at the bar. I'm going to go tell him you said it. Black cocaine Abe or white cocaine Abe? When you're done with your questions for me, I've got one for you. Are you gay?

My friend Marlena wants to know because she made out with you once. Right. She's making a list. I mean, to clarify things, I usually refer to dead Abe as Glampaw. Okay.

Okay. I mean, if this conversation ever comes up again. I don't think that it will. Anytime I see a hobo riding a bike, I think about grandpa. How often do you see hobos riding bikes?

I think hobos, I think too poor to own a bike. Or I think stick with a handkerchief. On a train. Hobos really did that. Like hot damn bottles.

Maybe he was the hot damn hobo, but no, he's dead. He's got a hot damn hobo ghost. He's leaving those hot damn bottles to show that he cares. He's hot damn it. I need my bike.

It's the only way I have to get to work. Yeah, that's what he did. Pupils don't have jobs. He did. This is full of holes.

Sorry, it's a long story and I'm real tired. Oh, that's another show. We haven't even started on the movie part. I didn't even know we were having a story still. I forgot about that.

Let's get that. We spiraled off into areas I don't even understand. We're going to make this as long as the first one. It's gonna be dawn by. The time we're done.

Did you finish your kiwi? I'm just gonna stop talking. I'm tired. My dog's probably really mad at me. Probably pooped all over the place.

Have Milo come over and clean it up. Oh my god. Oh my god. And clean it up. Oh my God.

Please edit the show so I don't sound like I hate gay people. Good luck with that. What kind of magical tool do you think I have? What was that? It was on YouTube.

It had that guy and he's. Like, oh my god, I got poop on my hand. Oh, it's in my mouth. I don't know. It sounds like YouTube to me.

I don't remember. I don't remember what it was. I vaguely remember that moment. I think I blocked it. The guy's like, oh my god, it's shit.

He's like, oh, it's on my hand. Oh, it's all over my face. I don't remember. You'd have to be on drugs to do that. It was fucking hilarious though.

The stripes. Alright. Alright. Geek week rounded out there. I said I'm just going to stop talking.

Alright. We'll take a break and be back with this week's movie. Not all the air would give me. This much sugar. My teeth feel like sandpaper.

Does nobody see Santa on Christmas when he steals down the chimney with care? Wouldn't it be so. Revealing if Santa had black kinky hair? I know his cheeks would be rosy. But still you could tell the man was cold.

When you saw his red underwear peeking. From under his soulful jelly roll. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come into your town. Gonna party it down.

Got the kiss. Oh, cartons of camels are sure to please. Besides, they look so handsome under Christmas trees. So easy to give, so good to get. Give camels the nation's favorite cigarette.

Ho, ho, ho. It's gift-packed, ready to give, with a space for your greeting. Greetings to Father, who works all year for the family and outdoes himself at this joyous season with lots of surprises for everyone. Greetings to Mother, that miracle worker of the home whose loving efforts seem sometimes like magic. And greetings to little brother, usually a terror, but somehow since he visited Santa at the department store, he's not been himself at all.

Greetings to sister, who was so busy decorating the house with mistletoe and then seemed to forget. It was there. Greetings to grandma, grandpa, and all your uncles and aunts. May you gather around the table for your Christmas feast in the joyous tradition. What we want to say is that the management and staff of this theater...

All of us wish all of you good luck, good health, good times, and a very merry. Christmas. I'm listening to Movie Meltdown because I'm John Saxon and I like to do that. It's time for sofa theater. Hi what's up have you seen claire today no she went home no she didn't no one knows where she is.

Are you serious I thought maybe she was with you, or at least you might have heard from her. No, not since last night. Well, her father came to pick her up at one o'clock today, and she didn't show. So he went down to. The police station with Phil and Bob.

What happened? They didn't take it seriously. Why? I don't know. I think they figured she was shot up somewhere.

I don't know. Thank you. I'm dreaming of a black, black Christmas Black smoke glows against the midnight sky I'm dreaming of a black, black Christmas Black smoke glows against the midnight sky All alone, drowning in my sorrows Christmas time always brings my sadness home A child is born on Christmas Day What movie did you watch? Black Santa. Black Santa.

Jesus. Fuck me, Black Santa. Welcome back to Movie Meltdown's Sofa Theater. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.

Way too much sugar. Go ahead. This week's Sofa Theater feature is Black Christmas. The year is 1974. Director Bob Clark.

The plot, according to IMDb, a sorority house is terrorized by a stranger who makes frightening phone calls and then murders the sorority sisters during Christmas break. So with that Although that kind of tells you a lot of it. Spoiler alert, so go watch this, the original Black Christmas, before you get all up into this. Calls, murders. Before we get all up into this, we do have a One from the Vaults memory from Mr.

John Saxon himself. You were there for it, Jay. I'm excited. Yes, I was. You actually remember this?

No, no. Yes, I do. It was John Saxon, he said. No, I remember this. All right, so let's hear from John himself.

What was that like? Well, I got a call from my agent to tell me about this script that had come. I read it, and I thought it was very interesting. They made a deal. I thought they had made a deal.

Then all of a sudden I got a call and I found out that some of the people involved with that picture had already planned to use Edmund O'Brien. So I was out with the picture for about a week. What had happened was I got the call back saying, can you come up in a couple of hours to Toronto? Edmund O'Brien was no longer feeling well. And so I went up and flew up to Toronto, arrived about midnight, and went to work about 3 in the morning in a park, a frozen park, and started to work on that film.

And I thought it was a very good film. I enjoyed it. The director was terrific. The script was great. Well, that's what I was going to ask.

Working with Bob Clark, what was he like as a director? Well, we headed off very well. I remember he thought I was kind of, I don't know, wanting to be patting myself on the back. He had managed to look at the sheets of times of takes and so on, and that I had always made one or two takes, not four, five, ten, sometimes they would happen. He said, you've got an extraordinary kind of thing going.

I said, oh, that's great. And we were friends. What happened afterwards, he came, the film was finished, I was back living in Los Angeles where I lived. We became friendly and he came over and he told me that, oh God, what's happening is Warner Brothers has taken the rights to the picture for the United States and they've changed the title from Black Christmas to, the title has changed three times. I don't remember what the hell it was called.

And why? Because they thought that the title Black Christmas meant that it was going to be about black people at Christmas time. So they were changing the title, which screwed up the pictures deal in America because they already had sent the picture out with another title. Another company took it and took it, a European, and it was doing very well there. Otherwise, the film would have been much better, made much more money.

Warner Brothers screwed it. Then, as a result, what happened other people were making the same kind of a film with a different title. That's what it was massively influential, yeah. So many after that tried to copy it. Meanwhile, I still think it's a very, very interesting story, the way it was directed.

And now that there was another version of it being made... I watched it, and I didn't think it was as good as the one, honestly, the one that we had done. Because it didn't have John Saxon in it. Damn straight, didn't have John Saxon in it. All right, so thank you once again to John for sitting there and putting up with us.

Even though it was cold. It was very cold. It was. The man was shivering. Where were you?

Cincinnati. You know how cold it is in Cincinnati. Well, no, he was sitting underneath an AC vent. You just said it like, in the Arctic. You know, Cincinnati.

You know, when we went to that Arctic festival where they show the movies. All right, so now it's our turn. Where would you like to begin with Black Christmas? How awesome Bob Clark is. Yeah, do you want to start with the Bob Clark thing?

I don't know. That's all I got. Bob Clark's awesome. He is awesome. I mean, he made.

There's two awesome Christmas movies that he's done that are so drastically polar ends opposite. Yeah. What was the other one he did? Christmas Story. He's the director of Christmas Story.

Oh, yeah. Geez, really? Yes. Oh, man. I love Christmas Story.

It's the most perfect Christmas movie. It is. And this kind of, in its own way, is, I mean, it's, for what it's trying to do, it's amazing how well put together this is. Well, when did this come out? 74.

74. So that was before. Yeah, it's pretty good for 74. I couldn't even fall asleep when I wanted to. That's saying something when even you can't fall asleep.

Right. Because you fall asleep during almost every movie. I know. You just fall asleep in stuff you want to watch. I know.

And I've seen this movie, like, lots. Well, Bob Clark is, like, I think one of the most overlooked directors. Like, I mean, nobody really talks about him. If they do, it's usually, like, in reference at this point to Christmas Story. But, like, he made a good amount of movies.

But, I mean, even if he only made three movies, let's look at the legacy that he left us. I mean, he made two films that are massively influential and spawned countless, like, other films that were trying to do what he did. He made Black Christmas, which, in my mind, totally, like, revolutionize the horror industry like it was pre as much credit as everybody wants to give to John Carpenter and Halloween it was well before Halloween came out and was doing the same POV shots the same creepy guy lurking around your house I mean granted there were other ones before that but the way that this one's done is really kind of that mold that so many other slashers ended up taking from and all the creepy guy in the house movies and the babysitter movies and everything started stealing from this as time went on So I think just from that horror angle, he totally sort of changed the way that horror movies were made after that.

The second one, I'm not as huge a fan of, but I will say it's massively influential. Also, oddly enough, the director of Porky's arguably invented the teen sex genre. And if not, it certainly did for the 80s. And launched the thousand of knockoff teen sex comedies. Oh, yeah, I know.

They're still making rip-offs. Yeah. And the thing is, I mean, his weren't that bad. Like, if you look at that versus all the other knock-offs, I mean, he got roped in with the knock-offs. But if you watch that, like, that's the thing.

I was thinking Black Christmas is way more different stylized than Christmas Story. But if you look at Porky's versus Christmas Story, you kind of see elements there. Like, it's still this, like, really, like, sort of wholesomeness to it. And, you know, they're just trying to get laid. But at the same time, the characters... are kind of good kids and they kind of want, you know, it's still got that like, what was it, like early 60s or something it was set in.

So it's kind of got that Americana feel to it that's still the same thing at the core of Christmas Story. So you can at least see that's the same director. It's a weird, raunchier version, obviously. But you can at least see there's parallels there. So, I mean, yeah, just those two ended up sort of changing both genres that he made it in.

And that's not even including the legendary at this point. I mean, the fact that A Christmas Story has been so far woven into pop culture, you couldn't remove it at this point. I mean, its influence is, like, huge. A huge part of A Christmas Story is the Gene Shepard writing. Yeah.

And even narration. But, yeah, oh, yeah, the direction of it. Because the book is just a collection of stories that... And because most of those stories don't happen around Christmas, but they lump them all together to make, you know. Yeah.

So, yeah, it's a good, it's a great movie. But you can see his influence and how much of a difference it made because they made that other, like, summer story or whatever it was that's still Gene Shepard. Yeah. And it's still, you know, him. It's got a Culkin in it.

Yeah, it's him doing those same stories, but it's not the same. I mean, it's just not even close to what happened. can't and again it was sort of that perfect storm of you know those those stories darren mcgavin like a great cast all around but darren mcgavin more than any and and bob clark coming in and kind of putting his his spin on it and i don't know it's just i think for those three movies alone he does not get enough credit because i mean that. They're massively influential. In in you know our lifetime and and unfortunately he can't make any more now but I don't know. I kind of, it's, it's amazing how much he gets overlooked as a, as a competent director.

You know, looking back, cause I had not seen this one, um, till today. And, um, you know, when you watch it out of time, out of real timeline sequence with the world and history of film, you think, Oh, this is just a rip off or this is just not a rip off, but it's just, um, almost cookie-cutter scenarios. Yeah. And. But there's a reason it is.

There's a reason it is. It's because, yeah, it's... It was the first one to do. What they made them all from. Exactly.

So. That's hard to put yourself in that line of thinking as a first view without. And maybe that's why they had to do their cheesy remake, which I haven't watched, I will say. So I'm going to watch it in the near future just because I'm a geek and I watch most movies if I can. So.

But, I mean, maybe that's why they felt like kids couldn't relate to that. It was too cliche at this point. They need to update it or something. It's coming from inside them. Again, I mean, even that gets credited to another movie that kind of ripped it off.

I mean, that usually gets credited to that one of Stranger Calls. The one that's, I think, Carol Kane's in it, and it's the babysitter. That one's more the babysitter in the house, and it's, you know, we traced the call, you know. What year was that? That was 1979.

And that's the one everybody goes to for that, it's coming from inside the house. But, you know, really? It's straight up out of this. And yeah, that's the one that sort of got more attention. And even that, people are kind of like, oh yeah, what movie was that?

So, I mean, it's like. I don't know. Even this one doesn't get. The credit, especially, I think, for the Halloween thing. I mean, don't get me wrong, Halloween is genius and definitely was massively influential.

But it's not original. But it's, yeah, that's the thing. Well, I mean, it's not like he totally invented it. I mean, was it P.B. Tom kind of used POV that was, and it's sort of, I think, the very first time that they sort of referenced that, but. still, the way that this is done, and the way that, you know, they kind of work in that whole same, you know, in the house, killing girls, you know, it's still, it's definitely very similar to what he ended up doing, and here's the weird part, I don't know if you've ever heard this, I just heard this when I was checking on it today, that they asked Bob Clark, I mean, they kind of have this opening, and one of the guys was like, hey, you know, are you going to do a sequel, a In general, he was like, are you ever going to do a sequel?

And he's like, I don't really want to do sequels, and I just want to get away from horror. I set out to be a director, not a horror director, so I want to start doing other things, which obviously he did a lot of other things in different genres. But he said, if I was going to do a sequel, what I was going to do was have the guy sort of get caught and get thrown in an asylum, have it be the next fall, and he breaks out that night, and he goes out, and he's out in the town sort of terrorizing the town, and goes back to find, you know, her or the, you know, whoever, and sort of get in the house and terrorize them again, and it was going to be on Halloween, and he was going to call it Halloween. Wow.

So it was supposed to be that Christmas to Halloween. Like, he was going to wrap both of them up into one thing, and he said he was going to call it that before Halloween. Ever came about. And even he was like, I can't believe somebody hadn't already done a movie called Halloween. When he thought of it, he was like, I can't believe somebody hadn't already done that.

So again, no offense to Carpenter, he does a phenomenal movie. He winked at me and it was creepy. It was creepy. I had nightmares. I still wake up in a cold sweat.

And not in a good way. Yikes. That is almost... you know, yeah. I mean, yeah, so much of that, like even the breaking out of the asylum thing, I mean, so much of that sort of comes into play. It might be the remake of this movie.

I swear, like, there's like a guy with like a skin disorder. I think Or it's like a spin-off of this or something like that. But there's a guy with a skin disorder and he lives in the attic and he's like yellow and he banged his mom at some point and he's fucked up and he's killing people. If this isn't a movie, start writing it. No, it is a movie.

I know it is. I want to say it's the remake, but I can't remember. I'd have to watch it. He's yellow. Yellow bastard in the attic?

Oh, man. I just... Anybody you know named Billy, it's just hard to not say Billy. Oh, Billy. Billy.

It's impossible. Can we talk about. Olivia Hussey now? Your favorite person? She was gorgeous.

She was, and especially in that era, I mean. She was a horrible actress. Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Yeah, I was thinking. Where is she from? Have you looked it up yet? Yeah, again, we were trying to figure out.

Wait, I'm going to guess she's Welsh. No. Argentinian. Ah, that's what I was going to say. Argentina.

Horrible actress. Absolutely gorgeous. I mean, she. And that's the thing. I think it's almost the, like... a cultural thing, maybe?

Bad acting? Well, no, because that's the thing. I remember, like, it was probably maybe high school when they had us watch Romeo and Juliet, and I was like, that sort of won me over. I was like, all right, this Shakespeare ain't so bad, because goddamn she's hot in that movie. She'd get naked in it.

I think she was in that. They had to cut that out in high school and watched it. Well, no, see, now, I'm thinking the one that we saw when we were in high school was, Whoever it was that played Juliet got out, and there was, like, full frontal nudity. It might be. It's been a while since I've seen her.

And it was not cut out of our high school version, because I know everybody was like, damn! And my English teacher was like, oh, my God, oh, my God! I think she rented the wrong version. I was about to say, like, they've never seen Romeo and Juliet. Right.

Shouldn't they be in charge of it? I think she got the wrong version. She got the non-rated version, and everybody was like, yeah! Good going. So, yeah, I mean.

All the boys excused themselves. I don't remember her being that bad. Granted, it's been a long time since I've seen it, but I don't remember being that bad in it. So maybe it's just, I mean, something like that is very proper and stupid. And, you know, it's like there's a way that you could do that with the way she delivers stuff that I think would work.

And I was almost thinking even in something like if she was in a Jane Austen or, you know, it's like if she was doing that kind of stuff, I think she could pull it off. I think she just maybe, again, it's that cultural thing. She does not seem American and she does not seem like a young American college girl. I mean, she just does not come off that way. So, I mean, she is functional in this movie, but yeah, she's definitely the least believable of any of them.

I didn't like that her hair didn't have a part for most. Of the movie. That bugs the hell out of me. She really. Sorry.

No, go ahead. Keep going. She really looks exactly like the girl in that episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where, like, Mac is banging the girl that works at the abortion clinic and she tells him that she's pregnant but she's not just because he's, like, convinced her that he's, like, strongly against abortions and that he wants to fight abortion clinics and stuff like that. So I think it's hilarious in this movie her only goal is to have an abortion. Yeah.

Yeah. And how messed up is that? Because usually in most movies, it's like, you know, she's pregnant, she tells her boyfriend, and he's like, what's his reaction? You gotta get rid of that shit. He goes, fantastic!

That's awesome! You're pregnant? That's great! Yeah, no guy says that. Not in college.

Yeah, I mean, it's weird that he's... But this is coming out of a different era, too, when everybody was about that family values thing, and you were supposed to. No, even then, even in the 70s, and even in the early 80s, these. Now, guys were all the same. They were.

He's got his piano career ahead of him. Most of the time, the. Guys are like... I don't have a shitty piano career. But if he wanted to quit playing piano, and he wanted to marry her and move off and give up his life, a baby was the perfect.

Way to have it. Oh, yeah. I don't think it was giving up. And that's the thing. I was like, okay, even if you want to say it was weird for the time, once you get into the story, I think...

That becomes the, well, first of all, okay, it's kind of a jackass move on her part to tell him right before he has to go perform for these guys who are going to back him and keep his career going and whatever. So, once again, nice move on your part, Olivia. We're going to have a baby. Well, as bad as he performed. Well, that's what it was.

I mean, she told him right before that. And he was, you know, now my life's screwed up. And this girl I love doesn't want to marry me. And she wants to kill my baby. And so, yeah, he's not really playing quite right anyway.

He's a jackass anyway. But on top of that, it's like, okay. the way he starts telling that story later is, okay, I just screwed up my career, so everything I've been working for for most of my life is kind of shot to hell now, so what a lot of people seem to do in life is that, well, let's fill that void. Obviously, I'm not going anywhere professionally with, I'll have a. Family, and that'll be where I'll go, and I'm going to. Leave the conservatory, and I'm going to get married to you, and we're going to have a baby, and have a perfect little life, and isn't that the story that people tell themselves?

Isn't that that bullshit that you kind of sell yourself when everything else isn't going right? No, I never had that problem. Well, see, that's what I'm saying. So I think that's, I don't know, I think that's, to me, that part seemed believable, that he was sort of using that as his crutch to be like, my life sucks now. In most movies, though, and usually in life, about 90% of the time, the guy's going, what?

What do you mean you're pregnant? You've got to be fucking kidding me. But it also plays into that other half of this movie, which is this very strong female sense of, I mean, the fact that it's 74 and this girl's... I mean, it's very topical when she's like, you're not going to tell me what to do with my body, you know? It's almost straight out of the headlines kind of lines for a few minutes there.

So I think, again, that was kind of being progressive in that way, which you couldn't do if he was like, well, okay, kill it, you know? So you kind of needed him to be a little more old-fashioned, let's get married instead, so she can be like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to throw my life away. So, I don't know. I thought for that, it was also being kind of... progressive in you know the way that it's you know let's let's throw these issues out there but also just the way that it treats the women i mean for what is essentially a horror movie it puts them in like non most of the time they're not victims in their own not in the stupid way that they are in most slashers that come later And they're also kind of like.

There was no boobies in this movie. Yeah, they're not whores either. Like, really? I mean, the only one that's ill-behaved is Marco Kidder, and she's just drunk all the time. And she's like a sleeper.

And the house mom. Yeah, well, the house mom, she's just there for comic relief. Right. And it's sad that the bio clerk based that on his aunt. She used to hide booze all over the house.

That's my aunt. Do all aunts do that? Do all aunts do that? I'm an aunt. Do I have to do that?

You should start. She's the one that drinks the hot booze. You're hiding it from the dog. Dog, you don't see where I'm putting this booze. You just keep going over there.

I do have bottles of whiskey on my window sill, but it's just because I have a real small apartment and not enough cannabis. Try to lure the hobos in. She is. She's got bottles of hot damn on the window sill. Two things that, speaking of windows, two things that almost right away in this movie, because, you know, up until this point, one of the biggest, you know, slasher or murder movies, I guess, would be Psycho.

You'd probably consider it. And two things, the first, the killer behind the plastic that's in the closet. And you see the person through that. I was like, oh, this is kind of a psycho thing. And then the next thing you see is a dead person rocking in a rocking chair next to a window.

And they keep kind of going back to that look and even seeing the body outside the window at the end in the top floor looking down over things. It's almost... Well, definitely the rocking chair body is an homage there. Yeah. But it's a nice visual.

And sitting up in the window, I mean, that was the mother thing. So, yeah, I can see those touches. So, again, even this guy that everybody rips off was kind of stealing from another impressive director. I wouldn't even call it a rip-off. It was more an homage.

Yeah. There was no reason for it to be in a rocking chair. There was no, you know, so. And, again, I mean, you can't go into... the way that he directs this movie and call him packy in any way, because that's what I think I noticed so much watching it this time is how well put together it is. I mean, how much movement there is to stuff that like that, even like simple shots, like that first time he calls and they're all standing there and the camera like starts on the phone and moves to each of their faces and like moves each time.

And focuses each time on. Each one and continues this one continuous shot through the entire room stopping like it's just it's amazing that shot or how many times he just sort of weaves through the house and just kind of takes his time to set up The situation and the layout that you're in and everything feels really real the way that he sort of presents this world. Yeah. It's, I don't know, just the movement in it. I mean, even at the end, John Saxon kind of kicks in that door and you follow these guys all the way down.

You're in front of them, but you're sort of backing down the hallway and watching him go through these different little rooms and different, it's just well put together from a directing standpoint. Yeah. Why didn't they run into the house? Why did they walk? I mean, you'd think cops would be running through that place trying to get to the girl.

That'd be cautious. I guess. You go running, they're all willy-nilly and shit. You make a bad cop. Well, they don't do what.

Normal cops do. You see them kick in the door, and they're like, you know, and then the guy's like. Clear, clear, clear. He ain't got time for that shit. Did you see Nashville?

I mean, have you seen the cops in this town? Yeah. With the exception of John Sachs, and that's all they've got carrying them. Yes. That's sad.

Yeah. Nash is a sorry excuse for a cop. Yeah. I don't know. I just, if I, the cop, maybe I wouldn't have the training to be a cop, but if I knew there was a young, you know, girl in a house with a killer, I'd be running in there like a mother.

Especially if she looked like Olivia do. Well, yeah. They'd be like, what's up, babe? What's going on? I just came here to save you.

To save your ass. You know what that means. You're my slave now. I can put that part in your hair. Well, the cops don't even.

They don't even search the house for anything. No. You know? There's more dead bodies in the house than they never found them. They don't search.

They're never going to handle that much. They're getting back to it later. Two people. Yeah. Hustle can't handle that many dead people.

What, all two of them? There was three. There was four total. The little girl. Well, that's five total.

There's like seven, I think, total. But there's two upstairs. Oh, yeah. They never got the two in the attic. There's two in the attic.

There's the other two sorority girls. Still involved. There's the boyfriend. There's the cop outside. And there's the girl from earlier.

So I think total they killed. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. There are a lot.

But there's two more. There's two more they don't even know about, yeah, because they're kind of slacking. That's what I'm saying. How are they going to handle that? Yeah, they wouldn't search it.

And there's a fucking ladder right there. You know, you don't look upstairs. Maybe the killer's still here. No, they don't think about that. No, she got it.

I didn't think about that. But they're still going to look through the house for stuff. Again, it kind of lacks police work. You've seen the small town they're in. Spoiler alert.

They kind of leave the lead actress hanging a little bit there at the end. Just a little. And what, did they drug her to put her to sleep? Yeah. That's pretty lame.

They don't take her to the hospital. We're still looking for the killer. No, they're not. No, they're not. they're convinced that the guy was the killer but still they take him to the hospital they don't leave her in the house where all the murders happened with one cop outside that's a crime scene she's not going to be in the house they're going to pull her out of the house and put her in the hospital until the investigation clears the house. Even psychologically for a woman to wake up alone in a dark house that she was almost killed in all of her friends were dead in the next room get the fuck.

Out of here Yeah, that's kind of silly. That bugged me. Yeah. A lot of things bugged me, but I really like this movie. It did a good job of building suspense.

It's like, she's like, so traumatized that they have to drug her but like the dad passes out a little bit they're like we gotta take. Her to the hospital yeah. Fuck her you know like whatever she's pregnant and everything yeah and they're they knew that at that point too because she. Had admitted yeah he faints and they take him to the hospital. Right yeah get the guy a stiff drink and what slap him wake up.

We're going to drug this traumatized pregnant lady and just kind of leave her here, but we're going to take this guy who passed out. To the hospital. Right. If the hospital can't handle the bodies and her, then why are they going to handle the guy with the. Maybe she's indigent and they're just like, you probably don't have health insurance, college girl.

Nobody from Argentina has health insurance. They exited that house so damn fast. I thought somebody was like hiding, waiting because they knew the killer. I was like, okay, this is going to be a twist because they know it's not the end and he's going to be like hiding. There's a police escort outside.

Well, no, I was hoping John Saxon was like in the corner just waiting so the guy was going to come get her and he'd jump out and he'd be like, I got you, motherfucker. And then that would have been the end of the movie. Didn't happen. I think they wanted to rewrite it. I think it was the studio or one of them that wanted to change the ending because I think that's the way it was supposed to end and Bob Clark fought for it and eventually got it.

He wanted it to end that sort of ambiguous way. Did they get. Into the spoiler alerts for the end? Again, we threw the spoiler alert out. This isn't even how it ended, but we'll get back to that, I guess.

They wanted it... I read that they wanted to. The studio wanted to wrap it up. Well, yeah, but I. Think they also wanted to pin it on somebody else.

So I think they wanted to have all the cops leave the room while she's laying there asleep and have the fur coat boyfriend still in the room to stay with her. And him to then say that line that the killer kept saying, that don't tell him what we did or whatever, and then kill her in the bed. And then he, I guess he gets away with it then. I don't know. They wanted to at least pin it on somebody so that you knew who it was.

It was this guy all along. And Bob Clark did not want that. He was like, nope. I want, I mean, they already, it is funny how much they totally red herring you with that boyfriend. Like at every turn, it's like, it's the boyfriend, it's the boyfriend.

It's like, well, it's kind of uninteresting if it's the boyfriend. I mean, it looks like it's the boyfriend. Yeah, it looks like it's the boyfriend. I guess the. Reason the ending like that, endings like that always, Drive me nuts.

I always want to see the bad guy killed. Yeah. You want closure. I want closure. I want closure.

No, not so much closure, but I want punishment, man. I want motherfuckers to die. Retribution. Retribution. Revenge.

That's what I want. Well, you can't have a sequel if you kill off the killer. There was no sequel. And he didn't really want to do a sequel. So it's weird that.

He just wanted to leave it open like that, I think. So he just wanted the entire opposite to what you wanted. Because I don't think he wanted to do a sequel. I'm going to make a sequel. And I'm going to find John Saxon.

It's like 15 minutes long. He's going to help me make the sequel. John, you hear that? You're going to help me make the sequel, man. All right, I guess.

Yeah. As long as there's a heater. Yeah. It'll be warm. And I'll have cookies.

We'll get you a fur coat like that one guy. I want you to be hiding in the closet and you're going to pop out and you're going to shoot the guy. Either that or punch him. You can't like pop out that fast. Well, we can do something.

CGI. Yeah. Actually, that'd be better if it was like more like, yeah, he jumps out of the closet and kicks the guy. Kind of like. That'd break a hip.

I don't know. He can kick as high as Seagal can. He can probably kick higher than Seagal. Yeah, at this point, yeah. Watch out for your ankles around Seagal.

What are you going to do, eat him? That jacket's going to explode on him. Oh, no. Yeah. Let's talk about that jacket for a second, if we can.

The fabulous fur. That sporty-ass fur coat. I don't even know what the hell's going on there, but it was like, I don't know how many... Was it real fur or was it fake fur? No, this had to be real fur.

I'm sure it was real. It was 34. Nobody bothered with fake fur in 74. That was the college guy. Yeah, I got money.

Yeah, old school. Is that what college guys look like in San Diego? That was kind of like their old... I'm an artist. I got a fur coat.

Was he? You wasn't an artist. He was, too. Yeah, he's a hockey player. Oh, you're talking about the other guy.

The fur coat wearing guy. What was the boyfriend wearing? A green sweater. A green turtleneck. He had a jacket, too.

There was no fur coat. Oh, there wasn't? It was not that fabulous fur monstrosity that he was wearing. I got the two guys mixed up. They both had the same haircut.

I didn't. It was the 70s. All white people look the same. Damn white people. You want to hear the best part about the fur coat?

That was actually the actor's coat. Right. It still hangs in his closet is the story. Right. That was actually his coat in 74, which is awesome.

I like that the coat is so epic to not only us but to everyone that there's, like, Still information to be found about this coat. Just in case you're wondering what happened to this coat. Which I was. Behind the stories on that coat. I'm going to need pictures of you wearing this coat on vacation in all the places that you've been in this coat over the years.

That's awesome. Yeah. Talk about Olivia Hussey's sweater for a second. Oh, the one with the hands on her chest? That was awesome.

I think we're all a little jealous of either having that sweater or being that sweater. Right. Either way. What about one chick dude that we were waiting to try to make out with Olivia Hussey when she was leaning against the door frame? The one that looked like a.

Andrea Martin? The one that looked. Like Cher and Mickey Avalon had a baby. That's Andrea Martin, which it is funny that she... Yeah, that's what...

Yeah, midway in, that's what you were saying, Greg, is it's weird seeing her be serious. Because. And even more weird on the casting, you know who that. Role was supposed to go to? Cher.

No, I'm just kidding. I was supposed to go to Gilda Radner. Wow. Who then had to go, she was still contractually obligated to go work on Saturday Night Live, and they gave it to Andrea Martin, who is kind of like the SCTV version of her. Yeah, so that's really weird that they were picking sort of a comedic actress both times.

Yeah. I wonder if they had an intention to maybe make her more comedic. I don't know, because she's not really that funny in this one. Part of his thing was to take comedic actress and turn her into a very serious. Put her.

In a serious role. They were both so young at that point, though. They wouldn't have been known as comedic. I guess they came out of improv, maybe. I just thought that was weird that there was almost a trade-out for one type of actress to another that they didn't know what that thought was going to pan out until after the fact last night about 10 30 is the way she left her room as far as you know yes what's this.

We were having a party last night. Did she drink a lot? No, hardly at all. Did she have any emotional problems, anything like that? No, not clear.

Who was she seeing besides Chris Hayden? No one. Sure then. What you were saying earlier about this being like a sorority slasher movie, yeah, this is totally different because they're not all running around. No boobies.

Yeah. Oh, I've got to go take a shower. Everybody's dead. You know. They're all in committed relationships.

They're not screwing around, really. They're not all having naked house party pillow fights. Nobody's doing drugs. Only one of them's a drunk, if you don't count the old lady. So it's like, yeah, they're all pretty well behaved and responsible.

And they all die and just like, you know, I'm going to bed. And usually it's like the first one that goes is the bad girl. No, Margot lives like halfway into the movie and it's the best, the nice one that's the misunderstood good girl that Oh, it's a shame you're not fitting in because you're just too damn nice. She's the first one that gets it. Yeah, but she had a creepy dad.

Yeah. I don't know. He had a weird-shaped noggin. He was just a weird dad-looking dude. I mean, I don't know that that guy could play much else, really.

He doesn't even look like he'd be her dad. He could be a professor. Yeah, a professor. Or a scientist. Yeah, a scientist.

He would be the weird. rocket scientist guy that, like, defected from Germany in the 30s. I thought it was strange that the guy that meets the dad in the street after the dad gets hit with the snowball and the dad's like, oh, do you know, and mentions the daughter's name and he's like, oh, he's real foggy on the name. Yeah. And then he's like, I know right where she lives. I know exactly where she lives.

I can't remember her name. Yeah. No, he can't remember her name. Well, because then the dad said what the fraternity or sorority was. Yeah, but it just...

It was the 70s. There was a lot going on. Did you notice the dad just randomly, and this is a weird shot, too, because it's getting closer and kind of zooming in on him, and then just out of nowhere he gets hit with a freaking snowball. Did you see it also got stuck in his glasses just like Ralphie? Yeah.

Like almost exactly. I was like, he really likes that shot. Doesn't he? And then the other one I was going to see if you noticed. Well, we can get into what this guy does because that we were all sort of fascinated by.

But did you notice the phone tech guy who he was? He's the guy that sells them the Christmas tree in A Christmas Story. Oh, wow. Didn't even pay attention to that. The needles fall off.

That guy. Yeah. That guy. But, okay. Let's put it in the corner.

Let's go to the phone tech world that exists in this movie. How baffled Marlena was. Yeah. Right. Seriously.

What the hell is going on with all that craziness? Every single connection was a physical connection. There ain't no fancy iPhones back then. No damn caller ID. That would have solved a lot of fucking problems right there.

It's amazing. I mean, you know, in such a small span of time, how much it has changed, really. I mean. It's been a long time for one lifetime, maybe, but in the grand scheme of things, it is a very small amount of time. Yeah, you're talking about 30 years.

Yeah, I mean, to look at just, like, you know, communications and the way the world works on a day-to-day basis in this, you know, from 74 to now is, like, worlds of difference. It's so amazing how quickly things change now. Not to go into, like, a long thing on this, but I think about this at least, like, daily, how weird it is that, like, civilization went for thousands of years with maybe like one or two technological advances and then all of a sudden in the last decade there's been like millions of things that have changed our lives. Reverse engineering. Everything was a big boom after Roswell.

I'm going to have. To tell you about my alien encounter later. Don't encourage him. I think it's once they make So once they start making these breakthroughs, it kind of opens doors and it's kind of like a chain reaction. Once they make one big.

Thing, it's easier to make. After the Industrial Revolution, it's just kind of like, oh. Yeah. Well, I'm talking about within the last. Okay, I said without getting sidetracked.

Okay, I won't get into it. Don't get me started on stuff like that. We'll just say that phone system is amazing. Yeah, that phone system is rooms full. And the town wasn't that big.

Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I was like, basically, I was trying to figure out what was, I was like, basically, it's like you go back. 20 years to that woman sitting there pushing you know one cord into the other for those 50 people in town that had a phone and now this is like the bigger version that each of those machines is going to somebody's house you know it's like. People from like abu dhabi how do people from. Abu dhabi relays it to somebody else and yeah well in what other country has one that yeah there's some guy in a room like that somewhere in that country that it relays it on over there or Used to. Now it just bounces off of that light.

My grandma was telling me that the year I was born, she had a party line, which I remembered her having a party line later in life because I picked it up one time and there was somebody on the phone. That's a party line. You shared the same line with somebody else in town just because they didn't have that many of them. I kind of remember that on Mr. Ed.

She had. It was a four-way party line with four different people. And so you'd pick up the phone, and you'd have to wait for the other person to get off the phone. And I said, so you could pick up the phone and listen in on conversations? And she goes, yeah, people did it all the time.

And she goes, you really had to watch what she said. And I said, did you ever listen? And she's very proper. And she goes, every once in a while, I listen a little bit. Would people be able to hear you pick up the phone?

Probably. They could, just like you're picking one up in your house. Yeah. I remember when I was a kid, we had a four-digit phone number. Yeah.

Did it start with Fallacia? No. It's a news change. You know, Effie. 9417 was our phone number.

Now everybody's going to know they're going to call you. Right. Back in time. Yeah, really. Go for it.

Let's think. I can't remember anything, but I can still remember my home phone number, 9417. My other friend's phone number, 6880. And my other friend's phone number, 9416. But you can't remember the waffles we had.

But I can remember the waffles we had. And this is, you know, as far as technology is concerned and stuff like that, I used to have every. Phone number memorized in my head. Of everyone you knew. Of everyone I knew.

And now I don't even know my own damn phone number. If I didn't have my phone, I wouldn't be able to hold it. I don't even attempt to learn any numbers. I remember my friend's. Parents' numbers.

I have none. I know four phone numbers. I know zero phone numbers. I know my phone number. I know my mom's.

I know my grandma's. And I know Brian's. All because those are ones that I had to know before I had a cell phone. And I could type them. In there back when I had real phones.

Those numbers have been the same since before I had a cell phone. See, I can't remember anything. It's crazy. There's no phone numbers that I type in. I'm screwed if I need to call you and I don't have my cell phone.

I'll have to call Brian. Can you look up his phone number? I can't call anybody. I have nobody to call. I don't even know my parents' number.

One day at school, I lost my keys on the same day that I forgot my phone. It was like the worst thing ever. It was like awful. You were like instantly in the dark ages. I can't imagine you without your phone.

I know. It was really weird. I was like, I was driving to school, and I was like, oh, shit, I forgot my phone. I was like, this would be an awful day to lose my keys. I literally thought that on the way, and lo and behold, I lose my fucking keys.

You set yourself up. Yes, but thankfully, with the help of the internet, I was able to get on Facebook and send people messages until they would send me messages back. And then I'm like, Jessica... call this number, and then have them call this person, and then let them know I'm at school, and they can come pick me up. Yeah, that's how it happened. So, still, technology aided me in that.

Awesome. But, you know. Because there aren't any more payphones. There are. Very rarely.

There's one right down here. Right next to the crawler. Payphone is forever. Department complex don't have phones. I don't know, but I see people all the time down there using that pay phone.

Really ghetto people. Don't have phones. I don't know if my aunt has a phone. You can't get much more ghetto. Do little kids know what that is when they walk past it?

Yeah. What is it, mommy? Is this like a Wi-Fi hotspot or something? Excuse me, is this hotel beeper friendly? Is there like a pay phone bank?

Yeah. Yeah. crazy technology huh and what about that guy wearing if he wasn't the killer he picked the wrong day to wear that damn green turtleneck. Well he wasn't so much but what i want to know and actually you brought this up again greg um okay so assuming he wasn't the killer at this point we don't know but as the movie turns out he's not it's kind. Of, once again, sort of a dick move to just kick in their freaking window. Right, right.

If he's just, I'm worried about my girlfriend because we're having an argument, so your next move is to go kick in the window of the sorority. House she lives in. He found out that girl got killed and that they, he knew her roommates were missing. Did he? Yeah.

I think everybody knew the roommate's roommate. And why was he sitting outside of the house? Yeah, I mean, that was just, again, him being a weird overbearing boyfriend, which he was. She needed to die. That's what it comes down to.

But I was just like, so your overreacting move is to go kick in their window and climb into the house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Couldn't really.

She was sort of hiding. He couldn't see her after he got in the room. I was like, yeah, that whole part seemed kind of weird. I don't know. I guess they were just banking on, oh, he can see her, so that's why he went in there with a fork.

I'm not buying him. Maybe that's what they were doing. I think it was just convenience. Unless he was walking outside and heard, you know, her. Maybe.

I mean, she was. Screaming for the other girls and all that stuff. That's right. He was outside the house. He was probably.

Looking for a way in because the door was locked. That could be. She locked all the doors. Yeah, that could be. If my girlfriend with baby in her belly was running through the house screaming and people were dying that night, I would be jumping through windows on the first floor.

But he was going pretty slow about it. He was kind of looking in and walking around. Well, I guess he wanted to make sure it was her and not like the killer, you know? I guess. I don't know.

I think he didn't want to worry about saving those other girls. He wanted to make sure it was his girl. Yeah, who cares about those? Andrew Martin. Nah.

He was kind of weird anyway. Who beats up a piano? He was an artist, man. You just don't understand. He was just frustrated.

He's an asshole. Wasn't that piano fault he sucked? Well, he bought the lights on the Christmas tree. What a jerk. That was a creepy-looking Christmas tree, by the way.

It looked like it had a death shroud on it, which fits the movie, but I was just like, who would actually decorate their tree like that? It looks creepy as hell. Yeah, it was weird. I don't know. I mean, I don't normally.

Narrow it down and pick super favorite kind of movies, but I've come to realize how much this is, like, one of my favorite horror movies. Like, it, I don't know, there's just, again, I think it's something about the way that it's put together. Like, I think just the way that it's shot, it has a weird tone to it, and I think that's the first time I watched it. I think I watched it on VHS years ago, and that's what I kind of connected with. It's this weird, creepy, it is that 70s feel for a horror movie, but on top of that, it's just, like, the way that he puts it together, it's like a lot of those shots with all this super gothic architecture in the background, like that door frame where he's playing the piano that's bigger than most people's houses, and the big archway in the background while he's waiting for her out on the street there.

And yeah, it's like all of that. And just the house they live in is this huge, awesome house that I think all of that creates this really cool atmosphere. And then Again, the fact that it's Christmas time, there's so much coldness to it. Like, number one, just the weird, like, relationships. Because Olivia Hussey seems very cold anyway.

Yeah. She answers the phone, hello? Yeah. I would assign that needs to be our drinking game, is every time she screams hello for no good reason, you just say hello. I have my answering machine on my cell phone.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Yeah. And we didn't talk about the drunken mess that was... What's her face? Margot.

Yeah. I don't think that was, like, an act. I think it was just her showing up. Margot around the house. I don't know that she was that big a mess then.

She entered into some really rough times later. How many classes did she fail to be that damn old? Yeah, exactly. I don't know how old she was at that point. Did she look old?

Maybe she just looked rough. I don't know. I thought she was cute at this point. She didn't necessarily look young, but she looked cute. I'm going to pull a Misty and say her mouth bothers me.

Something about her upper lip. The way her teeth do. I don't know. I don't want to be a jerk, but it's always bothered me about that. I don't know.

Even in Superman movies, I thought she was pretty. It's funny now. She just looks like somebody's grandma. I mean. We just saw her a few weeks ago.

It's very strange now how, again, how much things change in a few years. Scary. But yeah, I just, I don't know, I think that coldness really comes into play. I realized, again, watching it this time, how much there's like wind going in the background. Like it really, like they work that in really subtly that it always feels like it's like, 13 degrees outside, you know?

They've always got that. And that fucker's just wearing that green sweater. Yeah, I know. He leaves his coat in there and never goes back. Maybe that's why he was kicking it in the window.

He's like, damn, it's fucking cold. I want my coat. Yeah. I think angst keeps you warm in the bitter cold. I'm angry.

I'm not cold. Creepily lurking outside of your significant other's house keeps you warm. You know, with every murder, is there music or something going on that's Or something's happening that no one can hear. I liked the way, especially the carolers, kind of drown out the sound of the soulless, dead-eyed, robot carolers. That's creepy.

First we can go to the creepy carolers. But then again, the way that that's put together, that you've got it intercut with the creepy carolers, but this little serene Christmas song going on, And then this, like, lurking camera POV shot going through the hallway, finding her in the bedroom, and then just the cuts back and forth of Kirby stabbed. To death in bed. With a damn unicorn. With a freaking unicorn.

A glass unicorn. You gotta watch those unicorns. It was big enough just waiting for somebody to just plunge it into themselves one way or another. Right. Sooner or later, somebody was getting stabbed with that thing and you called it as soon as he walked in the room.

Yeah, but I've seen it before. But either way, it's kind of like, oh, that's going in somebody. Anybody that has something like that is asking for trouble. I mean, it was kind of like foreshadowed, you know? Yeah.

But again, that shot, I mean, that scene, the way that it's shot, that It leads to kind of how the whole movie works. I mean, it seems massively brutal, but you never see it penetrate her at all. It's nothing but it's that psycho move again. They kind of show a little bit of blood, but there's hardly any blood. Yeah, there's hardly any blood.

That's the only part. It's not excessive. You never see her get stabbed. You just see it coming down on her and back out in her bloody hand. It's disturbing the way that it's put together, but at the same time, it's that psycho thing again.

You never. see anything. Actually happen it's all the way that he puts it together and i think that's another thing that is so well done about this is the fact that the whole killer angle you never see the killer like what other movie do you never like i mean you barely even see that he's there you get maybe what five shots of any part of him like the rest of the time he's just out of frame or There's always, yeah, this time, there's always creepy shadows moving in the background. So you really do see, like, okay, he really is just sort of lurking around the house when they're not paying attention all day long. He's a little bit of a bad Ronald. Yeah, he is.

He's totally bad Ronald. Bad Ronald. Apparently he went there for that one. The whole other one. Yeah, if you watch the movie and you notice, there's, like, shadows even...

At parts where it's not even a focus. You kind of have to be paying attention. And it is one of those that if you're paying attention, clears the boyfriend. Because there's that time when he's sitting there telling her about you can't get rid of the baby. There's a shadow in the background.

And it's like, so as much as they were trying to pin it on him, it's like you go back and watch it. It's like, well, no. And also, like, it poses the question, you know, there's just so many, like, open ends in this movie. You know, like the kid that gets murdered in the park. And the fact that this guy knows the conversation that she had with Peter, it's almost like he stalks everybody, you know?

It's like it's not specific just to the house. Yeah. You know? So I think the way that it's shot is kind of awesome because it keeps him really... It just keeps that suspense going that you never really see him.

And then also, I guess it ties into that thing that we bitch about in horror movies now is how much backlash... they give everybody. We don't know what the hell's going on with this killer. And I kind of like it. You know he's messed up. You get little bits and pieces of this weird thing that screwed him up as a kid and he's grown.

He's obviously got female issues now. And then you never really find out what the hell was going on. You never figure out what sent them down. And that's like, that's why this movie's awesome. And I haven't seen the remake, but any other movie they make now, it's like, oh, and we gotta figure out exactly what happened to him, and why he did this, and this is tied to this incident.

I'm pretty sure they over-explained this. I've seen this. For a while. But, you know, and it's kind of interesting, because you don't see the person's face, and you don't know anything about them. But you do kind of know that their name is more than likely Billy.

Yeah. Yeah, that's the only thing you know. Well, they give a little backstory of what it is as they go into it. And, like, he keeps talking about. He says some other girl's name.

Agnes. But he's also talking about the baby. So they sort of wrote this mini backstory of, you know, he was... They think it's like his sister, and he was supposed to be taking care of his sister, and something horrible happened, and he's to blame, and he's mommy, he's got the whole... So, yeah, I mean, there's a...

You can piece together this, like. Really basic story. But again, and that's all up to you. It's like, they never have a scene where they're like, well, here's what happened to Billy. There's a flashback.

Like how they do at the end of Psycho, where they fucking break it down. We gotta break it. And again, that was somebody at the studio. Going, well, people are stupid, you better explain it to them. So, I'm sure they tacked that line. scene on if I remember in Psycho which is what would be done now when they do a horror movie but this that's kind of why this is awesome you never are given anything in this movie you piece it.

Together which usually makes me angry too but I think it works for. This it does it was well done you don't know the. Entire movie and at the end you're still like what the hell just happened You have that uncertainty that maybe a lot of them and the characters in the movie would have if something like that happened. Who or what? You know what I mean?

And it's just general creepiness. It also plays on that same thing that a lot of the horror movies at this point, and especially all those babysitter kind of movies that came after it, like, This kind of stuff sort of does. Happen in the real world. I mean, you do hear weird stories about, and the killer was in the attic the whole time. You know, it's those weird, like, urban legends that get built up around it.

That happened. Some of them are. There was a woman who was living in some guy's, like, cabinet or something. Like a cabinet? In New York.

Yeah. She was homeless. It was the videos. He caught her on video. Yeah.

She was snuck in someday. I wasn't sure if that. I'd heard people say that was staged. But either way, I mean, it's all based on real stories. I think he had, like, a storage system, like, above his, like, that he wasn't using or whatever.

So she had got in at some point, and he would, like, go in there, like, in his kitchen, and, like, half his stuff would be missing, like, his food or whatever. So he set up a camera. or something and there's some girls actually living. Whether it's real or not, that footage is creepy. I watched it and I was just like, holy shit. It's, yeah, it's creepy.

I don't want to watch it tonight. No, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. It's creepy. Turn off the lights and watch.

It's creepy. But again, that kind of stuff is based on the real world and it's like, I think that's another element that by the end of it you're like, holy shit, what just happened? I don't want to go check that noise. Right. I'm glad I.

Can stand in one room and see every single thing that's going on in my whole apartment. I'm glad that we're heavily armed. See, that's another thing that really pissed me off about the movie was the cop told her to fucking go out the front door and what does she do? She drops the phone and screams out for her friends. And starts upstairs.

Yeah. It's like, okay... She. At least has the forceps. To arm herself.

It doesn't matter. She can't use it. But again, I mean, it would have seemed. out of character for her to just be wussy and run away. Especially knowing she doesn't know her. Friends are dead.

But the cop fucked up because Nash is an idiot. He's an idiot. Yeah, he shouldn't have told her. And he should have just said instead of going, okay, drop the phone, whatever you do, just walk out. It should have been like, oh, John Saxton's out front.

Go meet him. Yeah, John Saxton's out front. Don't worry about that. John Saxton's going to kick Nash's ass. Oh, yeah, he is.

It is one of those, especially now, it's that cliche of, no, no, don't go upstairs, go out the door. What are you doing? Yeah, I'm screaming at the damn screen. Fucking retard. That's the most plausible situation I can think of that that's ever happened in a movie, where it's just like, yeah, maybe I would have done the same thing, too.

If they were my friends, I'd arm myself and fucking go upstairs. Hell, I'd do that now. And there's nobody there. I'm going out the door. I did it the other night.

That's why I was telling you I was sitting there. I heard a noise. I armed myself with a sword and I went downstairs to see what it was. I was like, that shit happens and I'm the one who's going to be like, fuck that. I'm not going to worry about it.

I'm going to go down there and stab somebody if need be. But I'm taking care of what I need to take care of. So, yeah, I certainly would have done the same thing. Be like, in the house, well, let's go find this motherfucker. Right.

So, it's been, I mean, then once you know, it's like you know it's a killer, you know he's in the house. If you have sense, it's, yeah, normally horror movies are just stupid. Right. And they go running. Around and they, you know, get themselves killed.

So if they had sense and took out in a way to, you know, wait and kill him before, I don't know. It's just so stupid the way they go about it. Not necessarily that they decide to arm themselves and fight back. It's just, they do it dumb. She just seems incompetent to do it.

Yeah. Right. It depends. It depends on the situation. It depends on the situation.

It depends on the person. Would I do it? Yeah, I'd do it. But I know how to fight. It seems out of character for her.

It seems out of very, very out. Of character for her. She's so damn willing to kill her own baby, but she wants to make sure her friends are around. Kind of, but she's also hard-headed. So, I mean, he's telling her not to do it, and she's like, well, maybe I will.

How dare a man tell me what to do? Yeah, in a way. He should have told her to go upstairs. Oh, yeah, she did get killed, didn't she? See, Serge, you're right.

Told you you were going to get killed. What were you saying? I'm sorry. No, I don't know. Whatever.

He forgot. He'll remember later. Maybe. I'm fine. She still got killed.

Ha ha. We're assuming. Maybe. She got killed. She's dead.

If they made a sequel, then. Yeah. She would have lived, but since they didn't, we can assume she's dead. She's dead. Well, because then it.

Said that every time he would kill somebody, he would turn on a column. Yeah. And at the very end, which were a big old major spoiler alert, they zoom out on the house and. Cop's standing out there, phone's ringing, he's just looking around like a dumb shit. Hey, somebody's calling.

You're going to be the killer because we already got the killer. Wake up, crazy drug department lady. You know? I like the way they did it. I said, usually that pisses me off.

Usually I like backstory, I want closure, but this, it works so well together. And really, again, I think it's all of that. It's the way that they present the killer and don't show you anything. It's that creepy, gothic, cold tone to everything that especially worked for it being. A 70s movie.

I don't know, it has become one of my favorite horror movies. Awesome. Yeah. Cool. Better than I expected it.

And her last name's Hussie. That's right. And she chose that. Really? That's, uh, it's her mom's maiden name.

But she was born, um, what is it, Olivia some other weird. Newton John. Yes. Yes, it was. Olivia Osuna?

Not that that's much better, but would you choose Hussie? If you had your shot? Well, she probably doesn't know. But still, I mean, if you're going into show business, people are going to be talking. About your name.

Olivia Horne. Olivia Trollope. Kind of. Realistically, she kind of did. Just saying, if you're going to change it, you might pick something other than Hussie.

Sperm dumpster. Olivia's sperm dumpster. And I'm J-Man Orff. Fred Garvin, male prostitute. That's right.

Awesome. So I love this movie. I hadn't seen it since probably last year. I think I watched it last year around Christmas. I'm going to walk my dogs with a giant mace tonight.

As well you should. Seems like a good idea. Can you swing that thing? No. While walking your dogs?

Would you fuck with. Me if I was carrying a mace? She's kind of crazy. I think I'll leave her alone. Yeah.

You just kind of have to drop it on somebody. You don't even really have to hit. There's one of the guys at work who said, that. Thing's awfully heavy. He goes, you're going to be able to swing that thing with full force?

And I was like, well, it doesn't have to be full force. I was like, Jed, you don't even have to use full force with it. I just took it and dropped it on something and he was like, holy crap. Just drop it on their foot and run away. Drop it on their foot and run.

They're not going to catch it. Kneecaps. Good for hitting kneecaps. Alright, on that note, we'll round out Black Christmas and we'll be back to wrap up the show. We'll be right.

Back. We'll be right back. Hey, Movie Meltdowners, this is Mags from the All Games Considered. Podcast, a fellow Louisvillian here, just wanting to call and wish you guys the happiest of holidays. I hope you get lots of freaky movies to talk about.

You take care. Bye-bye. Thank you for listening. I'd like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Okay, Carol, now you take these notes, and we're about ready to begin.

Okay, sure. Well, what are you two doing here? We don't record until tomorrow. We're making a new promo for All Games Considered, since you were dragging your feet getting one written. Hey, she's right, though.

It's been too long, and a lot has happened since the last promo. Yeah, like winning the Gold N.E. For Best Gaming Podcast for 2009. You mean the one you try to work into the conversation every other episode? Hey!

Now, now, there's more than that. There's the new format. You mean the main show every two weeks and the assortment of other features in the meantime? Right, like games you may never have heard of, the review in new shows. Don't forget the RPG buffet.

And on the main show, we have more time to focus on gaming topics. Like board and card games. And RPGs. And the people who play them, from the old school to the newest of the new. But no changeling.

Hey! Find out more at agcpodcast.info. All games considered, because there's more than one true way to play. Tweaked Audio, your source for high-performance, noise-reducing earbuds. Available in three styles and seven colors, durable and designed to sound great for both music and those chatty podcasts, like the one you're listening to now.

Tweaked Audio earbuds come with a one-year warranty, and now there's a special deal for Movie Meltdown listeners. Just go to tweakedaudio.com, and when you check out, enter the discount code MELTDOWN. Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Tweaked Audio. Sounds better.

What's part of your problem? You know, you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. We're going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby's half-dance with Danny fucking Kane.

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? In the lane, snow is glistening. A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight. Walking in winter wonderland. Gone away is the bluebird.

Here to stay is the new bird. He sings a love song as we go along Walking in the winter wonderland. Talk about Scott Weiland's Christmas album. Oh, wow. That's gotta be it.

Do you know how many people have traumatized with that work? Yeah, I've showed a couple. I kept showing people. Randy's thing on that thing. Oh, wow.

That was. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's frightening. Trying to sing like Bing Crosby.

It's frightening. Apple fritters. And the other. Okay, I already told you the. My version of it was he's so drugged up now he actually thinks he's Bing Crosby.

And then I decided he was being held at gunpoint because he looks like he does not want to be doing what he's doing. But the final one, it was funny, they were like, damn, I think you're right. I was like, remember the Bodies Alive tour that came through with those plasticine dead bodies? That's kind of what his face looks like the whole time. He's just got that creepy, not human, but sort of used to be human.

Look to it, and He's got that look of pain. It's pain, but it's also like I'm already dead. I'm already dead, and I'm just doing this because they reanimated my body just enough to sing and dance. It just sounds horrible. It's terrible.

It's terrible. All right, we're back, and I won't even give you the full decoder pin this time, because we're still piecing together, but we will be back, and we're working on another special guest. Uh-oh. A very special. Episode, so...

Like, short, but special? All right, so that's pretty much it. We will be back with that one very soon. In the meantime, musically. I would have gone out with Dreaming of a White Christmas, except every time it says White Christmas, you just impose your voice over it.

Black. I'm dreaming of a black Christmas. You get right on mixing that up for us, okay? Yeah. Nice.

Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening. Bitter days.

December nights. City haze. Apartment lights in the ghetto. That Christmas. In the night, siren wings.

They're still filling up the jams in the ghetto. That Christmas. People don't dream of a Christmas that's white. Without a tree inside. We have a dream, we dream every night.

Black is just as. Beautiful as white Looking for that moment when There's peace on earth, goodwill to men in the ghetto. In the. Ghetto, there come Christmas In the ghetto, in the ghetto There come Christmas Ah, here for the dream Of a Christmas that's bright. That tree inside.

We have a dream We dream of a night That is just as beautiful as white Looking for That moment when There's peace on earth Good will to. Men In the ghetto. In the ghetto Hello? Hello? Hello?

Oh, hell not again. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!