168: Win The Hunger Games...with Cookies

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It's showtime, folks. Enjoy the show. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one. Million kilowatts of power. To provide more cooling in the containment chambers.

To your citizens, we have a movie meltdown. And God is my witness. I'll never be hungry again. Way down among Brazilians, coffee beans grow by the billions. So they've got to find those extra cups to fill.

They got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian. I'm Greg. I'm Alan.

I'm Fred. I'm Marlena. I'm Dave. And we are back for another session of the Caffeinated Movie Geek. Cappuccino on my butt.

I still drink coffee. The last fucking thing you need is another cup of coffee. It's time for the Caffeinated Movie Geek. We are coming to you live via digital recording from Green Room Coffee and Espresso Bar, where we will get together, drink coffee, and talk movies. The other Alan is here, but he's sitting out.

He's had a rough day, so we're giving him a break on this one. He can wave. See, look, he waved to the microphone. That works. Oh, so we'll have to go to the other Alan.

So, Alan, I ask you, what blend of coffee are we drinking this week? We are apparently drinking Rwanda, as I was told. You still don't believe me, do you? Nobody's going to convince. You that this is coffee drinking wine.

Because you're fact-checking Brian on it, now you're like, ah, so I'm told. We'll only let it slide and sort of take your word on it because you are A. Allen. A. Allen.

Does that mean Allen with an A? No. Because otherwise that would just. Be improper grammar. Are there Allens with two A's like Aaron's?

I'm sure somewhere out there. A-L-L-A-A-M? There is some. I knew a guy named Aaron with the two A's, and he's like, oh, there's this other Aaron with three A's. If I can't handle something, they get the other Aaron.

People and their trendy, trendy names. The Alon would be better with one L than two A's. Yeah, that's true. I'm disappointed. How about an O?

Can we get an O in there? Can I buy a bow? Hold on. Okay, so before we get too. Far into our other shenanigans, we do, as you heard, have Dave here, which if you remember, he was here back when we did our Creature from the Black Lagoon discussion, which was pretty awesome, if I might say so myself.

So as we mentioned then, you had worked with Wonderfest. I was going to give you a little opportunity to tell people. You said you had some new updates on this one? And new updates for our show, which takes place Memorial Day weekend in May. Confirming some new guests.

Bill Mosley is going to make it this year. Awesome. We're pretty happy about that. He's an insane person. Yeah, Bill's a lot of fun.

Busy man. Busy man. Yes, yes he is. And speaking of Creature from the Black Lagoon, Julie Adams is going to be back with us. She just wrote a book about her career, and she's going to be here with her son promoting the book.

Awesome. We can go tell her what we thought of her as a hot 50s chick. Oh, she's amazing. And get kicked out? And probably get kicked out, because she'll be creeped out by us.

And since part of what we're celebrating this year is the 30th anniversary of the summer of 82, which is kind of the biggest genre summer as far as movies go in history, So many cool movies came out that summer, Blade Runner, E.T., Star Trek II, just tons of. Stuff, Poltergeist. Everybody's doing a Blade Runner theme this year in the show world, but we managed to get Joanna Cassidy, who has never done a show before. She was Zora, sort of the trained assassin replicant. In that film.

More importantly, from Hoot Frame, Roger Rabbit. Exactly. I think Missy will be way more excited about that. So she's really cool. She's excited.

It's her first show, so we're going to be very happy to have her here. And a number of other people kind of associated with films from that summer. But we're still working on the guest list, so we'll be updating as we go. Cool. We are kind of working with Dave and everybody over at Wonderfest.

I'm going to try to head over there. I mean, we've been there every year there's been a show. I've been there every year. in my adult life, I think. So to me, it's no big deal. I'm always there, but I do want to try to work in some cool stuff this year at the show.

So we're going to try to do at least an episode or two from out there amongst the, uh, goings on there. It should be fun. Yeah, definitely. All right. Um, before we, uh, this one's sort of a free for all I'm thinking it's, we've got some interesting, what's the buzz stuff.

And I figure everybody's always got our, our sort of geek activities. So, We'll just throw them all in. Groovy. Tell me what's happening. What's the buzz?

Tell me what's happening. What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening. What's the buzz? We'll start with what's the buzz, but the first one has a crossover into geek activities for at least two, maybe three of us.

I don't know. So we'll start off with geek activity for me. I saw The Hunger Games this week. I know Alan did. I did, right before coming.

It's great. So to put it in perspective. I've got my Hunger Games dog tags on here with future guests of the show, Jennifer Lawrence. I'm still working on that, by the way. She'll be on the show.

She'll be on the show, because we're best friends. And if nothing else, I mean, the main thing, the reason it was, like, I brought it up first thing that came up on the news, is Hunger Games kills with the fifth best opening date ever, which is pretty impressive. It's the third best opening weekend ever. It's right behind, like, Dark Knight, so it's It's making huge money for something that was, you know, still a lot of people weren't sure what was going to happen to it and weren't sure what was going to become of this transferring the book into the movie. So I thought we'd throw it out there and see what, I guess without spoiling things, since it's so new, I was just going to go with overall feelings for at least the few of us that have seen it, if nobody else has.

Everybody's looking at me all of a sudden. Well, you've seen it. Well, I kind of went into it thinking if the direction's okay and the acting's not too bad and the script isn't too bad, at best I can expect maybe just something entertaining to watch, big dumb fun on the big screen. And I was actually really surprised how much could actually be gotten out of it. There was a lot more depth than I anticipated with the whole commentary on the reality show thing as well as the defiance of authority.

Just. there was a lot more to it and they, they, they were able to avoid being overly melodramatic, except one really, really. Sweet. I can't say what it. Is, but yeah, I mean, there's a couple of moments, but, but, but I mean, that kind of needs to be there. Really?

That's the book. Yeah. Really overdone. But then it was immediately followed by, I thought the best scene in the movie. Um, but are we on the same page?

I mean, we were thinking of completely different things, but. Um, Yeah, so. We can come back to it later. I was surprisingly satisfied with it. Very much looking forward to the sequel.

Yeah, I went in, yeah, pretty unsure. Just kind of going to go see, you know, because... Half of it because I wanted to see what Jennifer Lawrence was doing. Number one, I'll give her credit. She turned in a great performance.

Like, that could have gone really badly, and I think she... She makes it work. And I think one of the things I was so impressed with, and it's been compared a lot to, aside from the other thing I'll get to, it's compared a lot, because of the novel, it gets compared a lot to Twilight. So I'm sitting there the whole time looking at this going, okay, this is the anti-Twilight. If ever there's a strong female lead that you can get behind who's fucking in charge of every scene, I mean, that scene at the beginning when she's talking to her mother, It's amazing.

It's a great scene. It's something you could have seen in a weird little indie movie that just happens to be in this huge big budget movie. Her acting is still that strong that it's not getting watered down by the massive amounts of millions of dollars being thrown at it. I think she's still delivering really good performances. That was my other thing, is just having a story out there that is aimed at young adults and has a female lead.

And is not a moron. It's not a complete you know, vapid waste of space. You know, I think the fact that she is very strong and very driven and smart, you know. It's like, that's, that's a good thing to have. Like, even if you'd hate the movie, having that kind of main character is, is kind of a nice thing to throw into our society at this point.

So yeah, amongst the Twilight nonsense, I kind of like having her as a character. If nothing else. Yeah, we got, we got a trailer for the last Twilight movie. Before the movie. Did people boo it?

No, I was with, well, see, sitting behind me was a group of teenage girls, and they were talking about Twilight, and then I went up to go to the bathroom before the movie started, and my seat had been taken, so I went to another seat with another group of teenage girls behind me, and they started talking about Twilight, too. And how much they loved popcorn. Well, now that I can get on board with. Who doesn't like popcorn? Were they, like, for it or against it?

Oh, they were excited. They were talking about, I wonder how they're going to do this in the movie. I thought you meant popcorn. Yeah, they were pro-popcorn. How did they.

Feel about that popcorn? That's a campaign I can get on board with, pro-popcorn. So what is the opposite of Twilight? Would that be like early morning. There's not even a word for it.

Dawn. Teenagers killing each other? I think that's... I. Will say for Twilight, though, like when I...

I did see the first movie, and I laughed so hard that I could not wait to see the second one. Don't get me wrong. Just for all the wrong reasons. I've watched the first three and made fun of them. I didn't get to the third one yet, but I wouldn't be opposed to it just because.

It is so bad. I decided I wasn't going to be one of those douchebags who talks shit about it and has never watched it. So I'm just like, if I'm going to make fun of it, I want to have material to make fun of. I love to hate it because I read the books as well. I have six sisters, and it was before...

Before it was cool. Before it was cool. So it was written by a Mormon, and growing up with a Mormon upbringing myself, I'm getting all this wonderful anti-feminist stuff, but without knowing it, because that's how Mormonism treats their women. They're second class, but they're made to think that they're not, that it's okay. It's all over the books, and it's great.

The other things I was going to say, the other main thing that they constantly bring up, and you can't argue the similarity to Battle Royale, so I will try not to compare it, because again, they're different movies, they're different stories. It's different. But I'll give kind of compare and contrast as to who does what. I mean, watching the violent... And again, for being PG-13, it's pretty violent.

And they get away with a good amount of realism for something that could have been drawn back even more. I really liked how they dealt with that, because I was thinking this would be better as an R-rated movie, but they obviously can't. Yeah. Not for the money. Yeah.

But for what they were working with, I think it doesn't suffer much. But by the end of it, I think, again, not so much the violent, it's just the way that they wrap it up. I think the end, the big finale, I think is something she might have referred to it as. That little move at the end seemed kind of cheap, and I would have liked to have seen more just flat-out, cold-hearted kids attacking each other kind of thing. Like, And they sort of pull away at that midway in.

The first half's pretty hardcore, and then they get kind of caught up in the story, and I think that sort of suffers. Whereas Battle Royale is badass, and is definitely way more hardcore. Not just the violence, because they can be R, but just the mean streak that runs through it. The hardcore way that the kids treat each other, the hardcore way that the deaths come about, the cruel reality of the death. Everything about Battle Royale is just. fucking mean you know it's just there's no nice side to it where this i don't know it seems like it pulls back in order to give it the you know proper novel ending that it had i think it pulls back a little bit on that so that was the only thing but again i kind of expected i it still delivered more than i expected even in that area the other thing i was going to say the thing that i think.

It does better is um Battle Royale really doesn't go much into the future world. Like, all you get is the battle and the kids, and it does a lot better job fleshing out the characters in Battle Royale. You get to know a lot of those kids for as huge cast that it has. It still makes it possible to get to know a lot of these. Where this one, there's a lot of kids you don't even know who they are.

You don't really care on a lot of them. So, what I think it did better is that future world, that dystopia that exists in this, is amazing. Like, they... put a lot of time and a lot of money. You can see the grand scale that they made everything, and they also worked out, and again, a lot of that is the book, but you get a good portion of this movie that is just world building and character building before you even get to the battle. Which is not what I expected.

Yeah, it's kind of rare these days. Yeah, and totally different than Battle Royale. Battle Royale, much like the kids, you're just thrown into it, and you get little glimpses of the the TV coverage and that kind of stuff. But even that, even at the time when I saw it, I was like, they could have done more with that, really. They could have made fun of the, it still, at that point when they made it, reality television still wasn't as rampant as it is today.

But they could have done more with that even at the time of Battle Royale, where this one, they don't disappoint. They deliver this whole messed up future world and you get a pretty good picture of what it is. And they do, to me, what it was closest to, Death Race 2000. That world building. It sounds kind of like Death Race and kind of like Rollerball.

Yeah. Because it kind of puts it within the context of that culture, too. Which I like. It sounds like I would enjoy that a lot, the satirical aspect. I love Death Race 2000.

So to me, it's got that... It doesn't take it as hammy. You know, Death Race has a lot of fun, and it knows how goofy it is. Where this one, it's got the satire, but it doesn't ham it up so much that it's making fun of itself. So, yeah, I was impressed with that.

So, if nothing else, yeah, I say... That's just sort of the overall. It doesn't really spoil anything. I say it's worth seeing. If American popular culture is going to be driven by whatever 14-year-olds are reading, as it has been for years, then this sounds like a pretty good source material.

Maybe they'll learn something from it. I'm curious what's next, because after Harry Potter started petering out, then Twilight came, and now Hunger Games. So what's next? It's getting smarter. Maybe.

That's, yeah. I mean, two out of three haven't been bad, really. I mean, Harry Potter's been smart for the most part. The Harry Potter movies got consistently better, I thought. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Definitely. Pretty fantastic, I thought. Yeah. So, I guess, you know, we can leave it at that.

But I was just kind of amazed at how well it did at the box office and then just kind of interested to see what they did with it. Let me ask this. I mean, it was just, like, this last week or the previous week that battle royale is now released finally in the united states does that coincide with hey if they can get away with that we can get away. With i'm sure it was definitely planned yeah i. Think i mean i know timing wise it had to be planned but even then i'm sure they had to start working on that a long time ago and when they saw that the book got optioned to make a movie they went oh well we've we've greased the wheels now if people are okay with these kids killing each other right The R-rated crowd will be okay with this being in the American audience.

Two years ago, I remember thinking, and maybe even listening to the episode, saying, oh, this will never get released here because so many people would put a stop to it. Now it's like, I see parents with younger children encouraging their kids to read it because, hey, I've read Harry Potter, what's next? Or something like that. And it's just so universally accepted. And there's a lot of, I've read 75, 80% of The Hunger Games, the first one.

And so, you know, I was impressed with the world building, how succinctly they were able to do that in the book as well. And within the first chapter, they give you a really good idea of the feel of this world. And I was hoping that they'd do that in the movie. But just how quickly and how easily, you know, soccer moms are willing to, say, hey, read this, or watch this. I feel like that was one of the things sort of satirized in the movie.

There was a scene in the world where this dad gives his son this toy sword, and he goes chasing around his sister, and the dad's just laughing, and the sword looks real. It's like this is kind of satirizing itself. I thought that was pretty great. It's satirizing their own world. It's kind of satirizing our world, too.

Yeah, I was thinking that too, like as I sat in the theater, the people in front of me were soccer mom and like eight, maybe 10 year olds. I mean, there were two kids there with them that, and maybe more, I think some of them might've been sitting somewhere else, but they were all pretty young. And I was just like, at first I was like, what are these kids doing here? And then I went, oh, well, it is a young adult book. And then by the end of it, I was talking with somebody else who'd read the books and we were talking about it.

And I was just like, well, Hell, the kids are reading. I mean, as much as I could care less about reading, it's good to encourage children to do so. If that's what they want to read, I wouldn't stop my kid from reading. I'd be like, go to town. If you want to read it, read it.

There's just as much death in Harry Potter as there is in that. I mean, Harry Potter is bloody. Bloody. And even when you think about. C.S.

Lewis' Narnia, there's a lot of death in that. A lot of death. And that's a kid's book. I mean, I started reading that to my daughter when she was three. Yeah, I have a friend, I think her son was 11, and they went to see Hunger Games yesterday.

He was a little disturbed by some of it, but he's a pretty sensitive kid. I pointed out, you know, I was watching Jaws when I was 11. It's PG. It's PG. It was the first movie that had that little warning about it may be too intense for younger children.

But it was PG. Back at a time when we didn't worry about that stuff. It has severed heads and severed legs and blood everywhere. It's because they wanted the money. And it didn't damage me too badly.

I watched nothing but R-rated stuff on cable. Look out. Oh, wait. I'm not a good example. So, but yeah, it's definitely worth seeing.

Love it for, you know, even if you're mediocre. It's, I think, worth seeing. And I'm glad to see this get that kind of opening versus something stupid like Twilight. So, moving on. We had a few interesting news items thrown at us this past week that I wanted to see.

If you wanted to go ahead and just rant on them, First of all, James posted the Michael Bay thing about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Would you like to go off on that, Greg? I think... Wait, excuse me. Teenage Mutant Alien Turtles?

Alien Turtles. Yeah, I think you were prepared for me to go off on that. Yes. It's Michael Bay. I don't really give a shit at this point.

If he wants to make it and if it's entertaining, fine. I mean, not fine, but fine. Yeah. And again, I wasn't a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles aficionado. I thought the show was kind of cool.

I was a little bit older. at the time. I was too. It didn't stop me from watching it every time. They were cool. It was a good show.

It was probably the first comic book that I was like, I'm going to read that comic book. I did subscribe to Teenage Mutant Turtle Aficionado magazine, but I didn't read all the articles. You're just there for the fold-outs of Donatello. It kind of. Ruins the whole idea of what it's based on if you're not mutants.

It's like saying the X-Men aren't mutants. It's a reinvention. He's going to remake the movie, but they're going to. Be aliens and not mutants. That destroys the whole.

Misty had the best comment about it. If you take the M out of T.M. N-T. N-T, then you just have T-N-T, which is just. Stuff blowing up.

Which is exactly what Michael Bay wanted. That was Misty for you. But yeah, that's the same thing I said online. Michael Bay's so stupid, he doesn't know what that M stands for in the little abbreviation. Now, if he gets.

It is, kind of. If he gets Corey. to do don't tell his voice oh there you go i might be okay with it. Uh cory wasn't even in there for one of the movies so was it the second one the second one i think he disappeared on but he came back for the third one because he was. Hard up for money rehab yeah drugs whatever so yeah well first of all as you go into the story he's not even directing it he's just producing which is probably a good thing actually because at least it won't. Have that look.

You mean stuff just being randomly thrown in your face. And constant moving so you don't really know what the hell's going on. Yeah, all of that stuff. So, yeah, he says, well, first of all, his response to all the massive geek uprising on the Internet is, quote, fans need to take a breath and chill. Man, that guy's a thinker.

I tell you, he's a smart one. So, yeah, director Jonathan Lisman says, who did Battle of Los Angeles and Wrath. Of the Titans. Oh, shit. This is not any better.

Let's go back to Michael Bay directing. I hadn't read that far into it. He said he'll actually be directing and taking the, let's see, will be directing the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, following up his comments saying that the canisters where the ooze comes from, that is alien ooze. So they will be alien mutants or some nonsense. I don't know.

It's just like, doesn't that fix everything? I think, once again, and this is what I was saying when I posted it online for you. I was like, it's the same things as the Transformers. It's not that he's worried about those little details because he doesn't care. He does not care what it is he's doing as long as he gets to do what he.

He is an auteur. He will do whatever the hell he wants to get his finished product. And it doesn't mean... It's good. It doesn't mean anybody else has to like it as long as he likes it.

And it's really our own fault because last time we gave him. What, $ 250 million for that movie? I mean, we made it a number one movie for several weeks there. So it's kind of our own fault that he keeps making this crap. But again, that's how you get metal balls on robots.

Just wait for Michelangelo's. Turtle balls. Oh, God. If they don't eat pizza, I might riot. They all get sushi now.

So, let's see. The next one, let's see. We had sent over, this is from John, and John, the quote on it is actually, this should make Fred happy from your stalker fan. So, John seems to like your take on things. Cool.

The story is. I get that a lot, not really. I don't know if you saw the story. It's pretty fun. Paramount Pictures and two of the producers of Rise of the Planet of the Apes are collaborating on a new project called Huck, which seems to be a reinvention on Mark Twain's famous characters Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.

What exactly the new story will be about is currently unknown except that it's being compared to Snow White and the Huntsman and will have supernatural. Elements in quotation marks. It will have supernatural elements in quotation marks. In quotation marks. I don't know about that.

Supernatural. Maybe in parentheses. No, no. Quotations. Oh, okay.

So, yeah, I didn't know if you had any response to that. That's total bullshit. Oh, my God. Look, Tom, it's a g-g-g-ghost! I don't know.

I'm waiting to see if they turn it into a Scooby episode or something. Oh, shit. I don't know. I thought that was pretty damn entertaining. Wow.

Wow. No, I had not heard of that. You're going to keep it that? Huck? That's what they've got it now.

It reminds me of this upcoming movie I heard about called Pan, because of the retelling of Peter Pan, where Peter Pan is actually. I guess it's keeping the mythological supernatural thing, but he actually kidnaps the kids, uh, to never, never land. And hook is actually a police captain. So captain played to be played by Aaron Eckhart, who is trying to bring Pam to justice. So what they could do is make it captain Hawk and Huckleberry Finn could be this.

I don't know. A robot from the mutant future. Wait, hold on. We're mixing all this up. Oh Lord.

I don't know. So, Hopefully they'll put JTT in. The middle of it and it'll be a classic. It'll be great. So, let's see.

The next one here we. Is he still a thing? I mean, is he still. He's in hiding, I think. He's just tired of all this bullshit.

I would be, too. It's like, I never should have left Home Improvement. Yeah. He can go on the new show with the. Oh, yeah.

Which is Home Improvement. Yeah, it's Home Improvement in a. In a package. Yeah, in a. wilderness store or whatever the hell he's doing now. It actually is damn near the same show.

Tim Allen? I've seen one episode and it's like almost exactly the same cookie cutter scenario. Like he has like a web show now where he's in front of like a green screen and he's doing. I was like, it's tool time. Only he's in a wilderness, you know, supply store.

Yeah. Instead of a tools themed show. Are they going to John Fogarty him and sue him? They should. Yeah. tim allen you are too much like tim allen please stop no really please stop and.

I think it even has the same canned laughter. That's just about dead and it needs to do they. Still have the wife and the three sons. Now he has daughters three daughters he's got a wife totally. She's a wisecracking wife and she's got i think it is three daughters if not two i think it's three is.

There a wilson That guy's dead now. I don't know. A friend of mine. Worked in the laughter canneries in Alaska one season. He said it was just rooms full of giggling Eskimos.

You go up there and you make some money, and then he traveled. He liked to travel. Oh, God. Moving on. So, yeah, Imagine Entertainment has. entered into negotiations trying to get a Salvador Dali biopic made.

Another one? I don't... Well, I mean, this is the one they've been trying to get going for a while now, and I really... The only. Thing I have to say is, after last year, how can you not cast Adrian Brody?

Yeah, I know. I mean, he was so damn entertaining in that few minutes on screen. He did the best thing, I thought. He did that, didn't you? Yeah, I did.

I was just going to write it, not the point it is. I just... I expected it to be a bigger thing. It was just like a regular Woody Allen movie. I thought all the performances of those characters were really good.

I thought What's-His-Name was fine as a Woody Allen stand-in. He was pretty good, actually. I loved the. Guy who played Hemingway. I was kind of upset when he didn't get an Oscar nomination.

I thought all those characters were pretty good. In hearing this, there's not really a whole lot of other. I just thought that was funny because they don't mention that at all. I'm just like, somebody's got to be on board with this. They need to tie this in or something.

Just don't let Woody write it. Did anybody see Little Ashes? No. I'm just curious. I haven't seen it.

I'm just curious how Robert Pattinson was as Dolly. Because it didn't really make sense to me. I think I blocked that out. I forgot about that. You know, I'm not a big fan of Dolly, but I saw a show with some of his early work that I was less familiar with.

He was freaking good. Yeah, he was. I love Dolly. What a great painter. I even like his more. ridiculously over publicized stuff but yeah he's he's an amazing guy and and started out very traditional and was good at it yeah he's very and then yeah he's i don't know he's he's a weird and amazing guy so it'd be nice if they did a good movie of him.

Well i saw that show that's uh it was like picasso miro and dolly and it was from the period when they sort of knew each other's early work for a mostly for all of them yeah and uh the the dolly stuff was fantastic and i guess i hadn't uh been exposed to the earlier i guess the later stuff seems a little i don't know something to me it's not that i i didn't have any it's not that i hated him or anything i was just really surprised How much I liked some of the early stuff. He just gets so into his own style that by the end he's repeating himself. Everything's a cliche of his own work by the time he's old. He almost does a kind of Nicolas Cage thing. He starts being himself more than he needs to be.

Definitely, yeah. That's pretty accurate, actually. Has the money to take more drugs. But God, let's not. I hope.

I hope Nicolas Cage doesn't get involved in this project now that I've said that. Yeah, imagine that. But they'll have somebody else play Nicolas Cage. Yeah. If I remember how this...

Okay. Adrian Brody will play Nicolas Cage. That'd be interesting, actually. I could see that. My favorite thing Nicolas Cage has ever said, ever, is it has to be from Raising Arizona, which is probably his best movie ever.

Pretty much, yeah. But he goes, what? We've got ourselves a family here. There's just something so hilarious. He's like, are you kidding me?

Yeah, the delivery. We've got ourselves a family here. The delivery. I don't know. I just thought that was so adorable.

And if I ever have children and my husband does not say that the minute I give birth, we're getting divorced. You might want to put that on a note somewhere and make sure he knows. It's recorded. Mm-hmm. He better be a listener then, because you're in trouble otherwise.

I like the touch that he has to run in and start the record player, the home on the range record. I could talk about that movie for days. Mine is a little fun, though. I read the other day about how Nicolas Cage was in the running to play Abraham Lincoln in Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. That would be awesome.

I'm just trying to imagine that. I don't know. Do we talk about him every episode? I think we do. He's fun.

You can't not talk about him. He existed at the time Abraham Lincoln was around. That's true. Maybe he wants to play him because he was a personal friend. And he is a vampire.

That's why he's... It appeals to him on many levels. It all ties together now. This one I just thought, they never tire of this scenario. Gerard Butler signed on with Millennium Pictures for an action film.

Called Olympus Has Fallen. He will star as a down-on-his-luck ex-secret service agent who becomes America's only hope when 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is taken over by terrorists. And what is it? Die Hard in the White House. Everything is an insert.

That's why you've got to give Die Hard credit. If you can become that name of that movie and change the variables, that's an important movie in cinema history. The thing that's bothering me is similar to that trend, but it's now. I call it the Jason Bourne idea. Everyone is an ex-Covert Ops, ex-CIA.

Well, I am. That can kill anybody with their pinky. And what is that new, I saw a preview for it, the new Ashley Judd show. Oh, yeah. Where she all of a sudden is like.

You don't mess with Ashley Judd. Everybody's Jason Bourne. Why is she the action flick person? You'd think she'd be more suited for romantic comedies, but they always want to put her in these action movies. I'm getting my daughter back, damn it.

That's pretty much how she works. I don't know. I'm just kind of sick of it. Everybody's trained more than any Navy SEAL and. Can take out everyone.

I don't know. It's like we have superheroes, but they're just... It's like the CIA can create superheroes with a little bit of training. A little training. Genetic engineering training.

Isn't that what we do now? Yeah. If we have any of these guys, there should be no bad guys left. Well, we've complained about how all vampires know... martial arts but at least that's credible they've got so much free time i mean i would have i would have got a black belt if i just had more you know if i had a century or two to. Kill here's what i don't understand why are all vampires wealthy just because you've lived hundreds of years doesn't mean you have more money let's.

Put it in the bank and you wait interest yeah yeah not angel He used to eat rats. He was cold. He had a soul, though. See, I was actually going to bring that up because they come out of the ground just knowing martial arts. They don't have.

That's true. I always called him out for that, which was awesome. Like, it made for a good show. But I'm just like, why are they all trained in Kung Fu? Because the demons that infuse their...

They know martial arts. They learned it in hell or wherever. They teach Kung Fu in hell now, don't they? Yeah. It's hell 101.

The hells in that show don't really seem like hell. That one was just farmland with green people. That sucks. What are you talking about? There was that one that was just suburbia where you do the same day.

Over and over again. That was pretty good. And then the thing we're too hard on. We'll say that's the Groundhog Day factor. That's how you become wealthy is you watch the unloading of the the Brink security truck every day and you figure out how to just, you know, pop in, pick up.

Oh, I came so close the other day to doing that scene from Groundhog Day, but I missed it because I was only living the day once. And I wasn't prepared. You just figured out that's how that goes? Yeah. I didn't have 22 shots.

Yeah, I was walking by Baxter's on Baxter Avenue. I was walking my dog and as I walked by, the windows of the restaurant are open and there was like a pizza sitting on the table and there was a woman who was bending down to get something out of her purse and as I went by it was just the perfect crime just to reach in grab the pizza and walk on and I would have been totally gone and around the corner but I didn't realize it until I was around the corner And so now it's my life goal. Whenever I walk my dog, I walk by those windows. One of these days, it's going to be just in sync and I'm just going to reach. And when she gets back.

It's like the pie cooling in the window. Yeah. It should be beautiful. Yeah. I thought you were like, it's going to be my life's goal to get stuck in a groundhog day scenario.

Yeah. Which, if you do, let us know. It didn't seem so awful. He became really good at the piano. That's what I'm saying.

There were a lot of upsides to that situation. You can learn martial arts that way. There you go. It can be like a vampire. So, okay, this last one, because this movie comes up every week, every other week, we talk about this a lot, and this seems, yeah, we'll let you decide.

Mostly for you, Fred. Okay. Universal Pictures has hired screenwriters David Elliott and Paul Lovett to work. On Midnight Run 2. Ah.

Fun. Will it be? I don't know. Well, when you add this last part, it's currently in talks with Brett Radner to direct. What?

Brett Radner. Didn't I go to high school with him? Why didn't you kill him back then and save us all? Because I dropped out. That's no excuse, really.

Stay in school, kids. You wish you could go back and run all day. Stay in school so you might be able to kill somebody useful. Isn't that how high school works now? You just kill people?

Hey, we've got a public service announcement on our hands. Well, bring David Lynch in. Kids, stay in school so you can kill somebody. But check with us and make sure who. We want to tell you which person.

So, yeah, they're saying that they're in talks, they're probably bringing De Niro back, but Charles Grodin, who's basically retired from acting at this point, isn't expected to return, maybe with a cameo, probably, because, you know. Without him, it's kind of. I don't know. Well, first of all, even with them. With them, this much later...

Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying it's impossible, because they're both good actors, but... De Niro can step a little off. Yeah, De Niro can't... Well, but sometimes De Niro phones it in, too.

So with Brett Radner at the helm, that sounds like a paycheck to me, so. But it could be like a grumpy old man kind of. Yeah. That could be funny. And it could, yeah, it could be good with the two of them, again, because they're both talented, but.

Brett Ratner. He'll do Beethoven 5, but he won't do. That was a while ago, though. Yeah, I know, but still. I think since then he has sort of laid.

Off the acting. He goes on David Letterman every other week. I don't see him. Is he still on? I think he.

It seems like every time I watch, he's on. That's because he's damn funny, so. I don't know. That was most of the ridiculous ones, so I thought I'd throw. It out there, so.

I have something to mention. Okay. Quickly. Last time we mentioned our... I don't know if it was Alan or Bo that.

He kind of looked longingly at the empty chair there. Yeah. He's missing, Bo. He's out of town. They talked about the David Lynch coffee commercial.

That was Bo. Yeah. And I watched... I think Alan brought it on. The other Alan.

Alan. And the Barbie head when he. seven minutes of him talking to a Barbie head about, it's really good. And it's, it's, you know, like the first 10 seconds I was like, Oh, this is going to get old if it's this for seven minutes. And I'm like, and I just found myself just watching it more and more. I know.

Barbie really holds your attention. She's like Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction where he's given him the speech about pride and stuff. Barbie can command that kind of a scene. I think it's the tilt of the head that's holding your attention. And you can feel the tension in his hand.

He's sort of twisting her or something. There's something going on there. Is this on YouTube? Yeah, it's on YouTube. Oh, it's beautiful.

Yeah, we'll have to pull it up. I went home and watched it. I think I watched it like three times. Because it's so simple. So Barbie now has got like a couple of really good acting credits.

You know, she did that Karen Carpenter. Superstar. Yeah, she did that. And now she's worked with David Lynch. Well, she's got a string of straight-to-DVD movies.

If you want to count that badly CG animated girl. But if you just want the stop-motion, some weirdo holding it. Oh, I forgot. Like, the kids' cable channels do those Barbie movies, and some of them are fascinatingly weird. I saw one in a hotel room, and I couldn't look away.

It was directed by David Lynch. What the fuck? It was so crazy. That was the funny thing, is how much money those made. I remember those coming out, and, like, every week, those moms would be in there loading up on them.

Like, this thing looks frightening, but here you go. Here she is as whatever princess you're stealing from, you know. Every fairy book princess she became at some point. And then she was a doctor. Oh, I'd forgotten all about that.

Not a mathematician, because math is hard. Yeah. Yeah, but it's kind of disturbing. Well, not disturbing, but it's disturbing that you watch it for that long. And you're okay with it.

And you're okay with it, yeah. Wait, she was also in Rango. She was in Toy Story. She was headless in Rango. Yeah, he was doing a scene with her and then he said, are those real?

She never answered, but she was headless. Does add to the challenge. Speaking of David Lynch, did anybody hear his music CD he put out recently? I heard that he has. I've heard his older stuff and seen the videos.

It's pretty crazy, but is it similar? Is this more stuff with Julie Cruz? No, this is just. One. Song had Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and it's just him with weird synth stuff and a whole lot of auto-tune.

I enjoyed it, but I couldn't get... threw the whole thing on one list because I started to get really creeped out just hearing his auto-tuned voice in my ear going on for eight minutes about dental hygiene. I was like, this is fascinating, but I need a break. In life, David Lynch is best in probably seven-minute segments, really. Those three hours of him in a row that he keeps making up these movies, he needs to realize that's too much Lynch at one time. I don't know, I enjoyed it.

You need to break it up a little bit. Yeah, but something special. He'll be in your ear whispering about it. He totally changed. It's like, oh yeah, how about that guy?

It just keeps talking about it. He just promotes the coffee, but anyway, yeah, you'll have to see it. It's different. Interesting. I don't know if I want to buy his coffee, but...

If he wants. To sponsor us. We can do an episode over at David Lynch's house. We do wander around drinking coffee. So Has anybody, I'm sorry, this is way off topic.

Has anybody seen the drunken history videos? It's like, it's, um, I don't remember who does it, but they're all on YouTube and they just, they get a history majors in college and they get them really drunk and ask them to tell stories. And then it's reenacted with, uh, uh, with, you know, celebrities. And, um, there's one about Abraham Lincoln. So just go to drunken history, Abraham Lincoln.

It's the best thing. You'll ever see. It's funny there. Uh, My son sort of does a version of that. He goes to a friend's house and their parents get drunk and argue about history.

And he comes home and tells us the story and apparently they really do not know much about history. But they will argue with his friend's older brother about Rome and they have no idea what they're talking about. When Rome was invaded by the Germans and My son will come home and tell us what the historical drunken argument was. He just needs to start recording it. That's his own show.

I think so. I think we've created some ideas for the best TV shows. Better than anything Hollywood's got. Definitely. Each week we come up with more ridiculous and better ideas than they ever really create.

Start a web series. Except for Raising Hope. They come up with some of the best shit on that show. That's true. It's an awesome show.

It's a very good show. All you non-TV watchers, just take the time to watch. Raising Hope once a week. I mean, Martha Plimpton, I just love her so much. I only watch about four or five shows, and that's one of them.

So I've avoided most of the rest of the crap on television. Okay, I think we should. Take a break and come back with our other crazy stories of the week. Don't know much about history Don't know much biology. Don't know much about a science book.

Don't know much about the French I took. But I do know that I love you. And I know that if you loved me too, what a wonderful world this would be. Don't know much about geography. Don't know much....

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Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. This is Jess Weixler and you are listening to Movie Meltdown. I should go higher with that. Hi, this is Jess Weixler and you are listening to Movie Meltdown.

Too much? No, you can never do too much on this show. You've finally found a place where you'll be. It's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies.

All of life's. Riddles are. Answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. Drifting in wild life And still you're.

Wondering now. We were on the top I know it was thin. We were only young And the world would have wanted Communication lost And it turned into great style Shut up. From this song In. The air.

We're beginning Going out to the. Big screen I keep looking at this screen and wondering what it must be like to direct a Flash Gordon episode. Awesome. Wow. I wonder if there was ever any time in which this was actually considered exciting.

It's going to push each other around. Once when I was younger. I liked The Rockman. My first boyfriend's dad was obsessed with making us watch Flesh Gordon, which I look back. That seems inappropriate for children.

I look back on it, it does seem kind of inappropriate. But, yeah, he was, like, obsessed. He thought it was the funniest thing ever. He wasn't a smart man. He wasn't a smart man.

But he was, like, obsessed with making. Us watch that. Making people watch Flash Gordon. That's almost child abuse. Yeah, there's...

Change amounts to child abuse. Yeah. Now I feel awkward for even telling that story. Yeah, you should. It's been on my radar.

Because my wife went over our phone to be, like, two of them. smoke things that totally aren't illegal and rent old porn. That's what makes a happy marriage. It was great. We watched Deep Throat, which was a lot of fun. Debbie Does to Alice is a favorite.

Those were classy pictures. Yeah, exactly. If the porn doesn't have enough plot, then I'm not pleased. My favorite was Alice in Wonderland, the adult musical. Nice.

Where do you find these? Well, I don't really. Okay. No. Found us a collection of old erotic cartoons as well, which was actually really exciting because we went to Paris two summers ago and went to the Museum of Erotic Art, which was the only museum we went to in Paris.

I think you're doing it wrong. I'm pretty sure that's not how it goes when you go to Paris. And on this one TV screen, they had just... vintage corn, and there was this really crazy cartoon, and I found this DVD collection of these things, of Wild and Wooly, and it was very exciting. I picture Fred, after hearing that, that's the only place that you went, I picture Fred and his family going, I pictured it smaller than that. I pictured it bigger.

Well, it's a whole different conversation. Now we know why she's smiling. Got a point. Yeah, I think I've seen the I think I may have on VHS the collection of erotic cartoons. The one specifically, because I was too far gone to remember, Slimbo was this little guy named Ever Ready and his penis kept falling off.

Wow. That sounds disturbing. It's more like a nightmare. It was amazing. He does not seem Ever Ready at all.

It was Ever Ready Hard On. I don't think so. Not like that. There is something charming about antique porn. You notice the people in it tend to be a little smilier and funnier.

I always think porn is sort of weird and depressing if the people never laugh. You just can't relate to them. They have no sense of how funny it is. The creepy ones are. Well, no, what I realized is the silent era versions.

And then watching it, I'm like, It's the same thing. Nothing has changed. In the silent era when they're all wearing their socks in case they were raided so they could run. And the guys are always wearing fake beards. It gets funny.

Things haven't changed in that department in a long, long time. It's pretty much the same. Yesterday my boyfriend, for some reason, we weren't talking about porn or watching porn. We were getting ready to go play laser tag. And he goes, have you ever noticed that people in porns are always wearing their shoes?

And I was like, No, I don't really watch porn. The camera usually doesn't get down that far. That's not what they're focusing on. Just in case there's a knock on the door. That's true.

Or you ever see the camera pan around and there are people in the other room having lunch? That's great. I'm not even going to go any further. Yeah. All right.

Welcome to the porn podcast. I'm sure that exists somewhere, though. There's plenty of them. Does anybody else have other geek activities they would like to go into? Last night, my six-year-old woke up at 1.30 in the morning, and we decided to watch Troll Hunter.

All right. So that was cool. That was really cool. Had you seen it before? Only parts of it.

I'd never watched the whole film, and she got into it. Yeah, it was fun. I've heard the CG is pretty good for as low budget as it is. Oh, yeah. It's fun.

It's a great movie. It's fun. Oh, yeah, we're up from 1.30 to 3.30 watching Troll Hunter. Was mom okay with that? She didn't know.

That's what I thought. Sneaking the kid out. Yeah. Anybody else? Yeah, I felt like I had a backlog of stuff I've seen.

That's why I figured this week we could throw it open. But now this week that we're getting around to it, I can't think of a fucking thing. That's why I told you to hang on until last week. I can think of a few things. We watched The Big Sleep the other night.

Oh, awesome. Did you understand it? No, the whole plot thing, it just gets out of hand. And it's credited to Faulkner, but I think that's bullshit because I know he never learned how to write for film. Because he would write three pages of dialogue.

Like somebody would just talk for 20 minutes, and you can't do that. But I remember he had said that he would see lines of his appear in movies he'd never heard of. He was like, I wrote that somewhere in there. Like they were just in the studio. Cutting and pasting.

Before computers existed. Good to have his name in the credits so they just reach into the bag and pull out a good line. I love the big sleeve, but it doesn't add up. I read that Chandler was an oil executive. and decided to write mysteries when he was 45. It's never too late.

There's hope. We can always Grandma Moses and turn things around. Yeah. Just keep hanging in there. Someday you'll figure it out.

I've got to provide more cooling to the container. All righty, you do that. I have something I could talk about if we want to, but it's not urgent. So I got on kind of this little Peter Greenaway kick. He did The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover, which is one of my favorite movies.

Great movie. So I rewatched a movie I'd seen years ago called The Pillow Book. The Pillow Book. Yeah. It's basically about this Japanese woman who enjoys having men write calligraphy on her.

So she's trying to find the perfect man who's equal parts calligrapher and lover. It's good to have a hobby. Was it Ewan McGregor? Yeah. He definitely gets all the way naked.

That may have been the last thing Greenaway got released. No, in 2007 he put out Nightwatching. See, I didn't see that. I haven't seen it yet either. He literally went mad for a while.

He was put away, and then I think he came out and they put one of his movies. I always loved his stuff. Yeah. So I followed that up with another one of his films. It's called A Zed and Two Knots.

Yeah, that's a cool movie. Yeah, about these two zoologists whose wives die, so they become obsessed with decomposition, and they start just setting up time-lapse videos of things. Decomposing, and it's... They call me morbid when I. i. It's a it's it's a hobby what do.

You want so that's what i've been watching. Well i saw um i don't know if any of you guys are familiar with shut up little man No. I heard about it when it very first hit the, which, again, was only about three or four months. Ago when it first sort of started hit the festival circuit. And it's a documentary that basically it's like early 90s, and these guys were from, I don't know, Midwest or somewhere, and they decided, hey, let's move out to California, and they were friends, so they're like, okay, let's both go.

They move out, I think, to San Francisco, and they don't have any money, so they end up in this terrible little apartment. and the usual paper-thin walls, and as the lady's giving them the key after they've already decided to take. The place, she's like, oh, and the neighbors next door, they can get kind of loud. Little did they know what they were in for. Basically, these two people that live next door just screaming at each other constantly. It's two guys, and all they do is fight, and they're usually drunk most of the day.

I don't know that either of them has a job. One definitely never leaves the house. The other one goes out to buy liquor. And all they do is argue and fight. And one of them seems sort of flamboyant.

And his line is constantly to the other, Shut up, little man. Shut up, little man. That is his comeback to everything this man says. He says it constantly. The other one seems.

To be completely.... Homophobic perhaps he's constantly talking about and again this was i'm surprised that his his word is usually the queers the queers need to die and you know you shut up you're a queer but these guys are living together and the more they fight they fight like a couple i mean they really so i don't know if there's a little like self-loathing going on and they really are they they're trying to explore that as this goes on but basically again we still haven't gotten to where these two guys get. Involved So midway in, you know, they're living there. They're like, this is terrible. We've got to do something about this.

So one of them goes over there, and he's, like, banging on the door. And he's like, you guys need to shut up. You're always fighting. You know, it's too loud. And he's just, like, drunk.

Answers the door, and he's like, fuck you. I'll fucking kill you. And, like, the kid's, like, you know, 20 years old. He's like, okay. And he, like, leaves.

So there's not really anything they can officially do about it. So I like this because this is 20-year-old, just got her own apartment logic. Let's record them. No. They take a microphone, tape it onto a ski pole.

They're like the next window over to them and it's always open. So they weren't getting enough noise through the wall. They put it around the corner and into their window and just start taping them. And that's where, I mean, it takes off. So you actually get audio.

They have like. 40 continuous hours of this fighting that they have over the years. And it is some of the. Craziest stuff you will ever hear people go off about. Some of the most ridiculous bickering.

And again, they're bickering over, you know, paying the bills. Or, you know, I made dinner and you didn't come home. I mean, like, this is couple fighting. It's so weird. And there's this other weird third guy that sometimes lives there and sometimes doesn't.

And it's the strangest thing. So, I mean, that in itself is kind of interesting. But then I didn't... There's this whole other thing that sprung up that I don't really remember going on. I don't know if maybe some of you guys do.

But there was this whole little world that came up. It found this audience. And this was pre-internet. So they started making mixtapes. And they would put little snippets of them.

Shut up, little man, in between songs. And then their friends would hear it and go, what is that? And then they'd make them a copy of them fighting. And then they started actually making versions of it. And eventually, again.

Tapes do. They started making their way from one person to the next. So it was this weird little underground thing where all these people had copies of it. Kind of like the red tapes? Yeah.

What was the other one it was reminding me of? I don't know. There was another thing that was sort of pre-internet. Or the Winnebago Man. That same thing where it caught on and pre-internet found a way to get from one person to the other.

And yeah, so it started turning up like there's two or three bands. Like I think Devo samples part of it in one of their songs at the time. One of the other bands does too. There's a couple of bands that sampled it. Then like all these other people started, like all these cartoonists started doing these like very crumb-esque drawings of them that are very similar to that style of trying to imagine what these two guys look like and they're fighting and Yeah, I mean, just that whole world that sprung up.

Then there was somebody made it into a play and was doing this off-Broadway play, dramatizing and elaborating on this craziness. And what else? I mean, then at one point, like, this goes on. Like, that's the part that becomes fascinating is this little world that, like, and. Then they started, like, making actual copies of the tape and, like, sending it out to people.

And they had, like, ads in the back of magazines because, you know, they had a T-shirt with Shut Up Little Man on it. Like, they had found this weird little pop culture niche. And they just, like, totally settled into it. And all these people started... At one point, there were three different groups of people trying to make a movie out of this.

Wow. So this is the documentary. But they wanted to make actual fictionalized story of these two guys. And it was, you know, three different people working on projects at the same time. So that.

I mean, and that's... I'm just, like, midway into it at this point. So it's definitely worth watching. It was on Netflix at least, you know, a couple weeks ago. And it is...

It is worth watching. I want to see that. It's not as action-packed as even a lot of documentaries because most of what they have is just audio. So it's a lot of them just sort of showing photos of them as goofy 20-year-olds. So as it goes.

Further in, they get a little more footage when they realize they're making it or they found other people that went and talked to people and got footage. So The first half of it's a little slow because it's just these two guys now talking. About what they were doing back in the day when they were kids. But it's interesting how it unfolds with the characters. You do start to get a little more of a feel of who these guys were.

And then how that whole movement of people sort of took off and ran with an idea. And it's weird that it was these guys' actual life. So it plays on some pretty interesting things that, yeah, it's definitely worth watching. I wonder if they made an actual movie out of it where it's their characters. If those guys would be entitled to a writer's credit for all of the.

Well, then you get into that legal area of is it legal to be... I mean, if it's coming through the wall, I guess it's legal. If you're going around into their window, is it now not legal? Then in the initial run, they put it out and they put on there because, again, they were like, hey, we're cool kids. We're just putting this out there for fun.

If you want to use this for any artistic purposes, feel free, just, you know, write to us and let us know. So we know where all it's going. And then a few years later when they're like selling those tapes, they copyright it. So can you copyright something that you previously put out there free? You know, it's like it gets into some weird legal issues.

So yeah, it's, it's interesting from a lot of different issues too. Yeah. At last I heard there's no federal privacy law. It's all state by state. Yeah.

And it's generally pretty amorphous. And in this situation, it's a big thing for people to fight about. And if they fought that hard, they may both be dead. Well, they go and kind of track them down and try to see what all happened. And at one point, they are like, okay, we're going to give you a residual check.

It's kind of sorry how that goes. The amount is so ridiculous. So, yeah, it's definitely worth watching. It turns out it was Jay and Silent Bob. The whole time.

No, because you can hear both of them fighting. They both kind of sound like Jay. They just run in their mouth constantly. For a while when I lived in Virginia, I worked this job where I printed photos all night, like thousands of photos, speed printing from, And during that time, my neighbors were these guys who watched sports all day. And they would make the sports noises like, oh.

But then all the rest of it was that motherfucker, and then that motherfucker, and then that motherfucker, and then that motherfucker. And I would be trying to sleep, but I couldn't parse the relationships of the motherfuckers. I couldn't not hear it. Wait, is that the same motherfucker? This is a different motherfucker.

Which motherfucker? Could they, like, number the motherfuckers so. I can keep track of them? It's like trying to follow the big sleep. I don't know.

The motherfucker with the hat. God, that was nightmarish. And then a radio station was giving out my phone number. It was like. They were doing telemarketing calls.

Call our station. You may have won something. Making people think they'd won a car. And then he sort of mumbles the phone number, because I got the call one day. People kept calling me.

I was like, why are people calling me? And then I got the telemarketing call that gave me the impression I'd won something. And it tells me to call that... That sounds like my number. They're giving out my number.

And I called the guy, and I got the guy in the recorded message. And he had a speech impediment. He said, well, it costs thousands of dollars to make that. We can't change that. And I'm like, dude.

So I had to start telling people they'd want a car and to come down. At first I started warming up by saying. Caller number four, you're on the air. No matter how asleep I was, I could get. Up and go, caller number four, you're on the air.

And then there'd be the silence and it'd be awkward. Turn down your radio. Turn down your radio. So that was a period of my life. I'm sorry.

There are people out there still believing that they want a car. Yeah. Still waiting for that car to be rolling up. Oh, yeah. The call stopped shortly after I started.

Giving away cars. Yeah. Yeah. No, come on down. Take your pick.

We keep them in our parking lot. Any car on the lot. Just go up and take it. But that reminds me of something else I just discovered on Netflix recently. I hadn't heard of Creature Comfort.

Yeah. They take these recorded interviews with random people and then the Wallace and Gromit guy animates them. I've heard of it. I don't think I've watched it. They used to run those in the animation festivals.

Some of the first stuff they did. Yeah. It's funny. Very funny stuff. He's always, Nick Park's always pretty damn funny.

All right. Does that round out our geek activities this week? No. Marlene is nodding into the microphone. Yeah.

That says it all, I think. Again. Yeah. Yep. I do that.

All right. And with that, I will say, okay, kids, get out your decoder pins. Oh, yeah. Wow. That doesn't, I mean.

It gets better every time we. Need a catchphrase that makes a sound so we can like at least make. A sound That's pretty standard for this episode. They come wrapped in this loud plastic wrap. We've been getting out decoder pins the whole episode.

Somebody needs to get out their decoder pins. Somebody needs to not have any more cookies. I could tell that tonight's message was really important. It is time for the Movie Outdown Secret Circle reveal of the next exciting feature. And this is going to be exciting because it's a huge ordeal.

It's a massive thing. And, you know, one of the best movies ever. We will be doing the thing super special. Now, officially, we're going to be discussing our sofa theater feature is the thing from 2011. Some people have issues with that.

Anyway, we will also tie in the John Carpenter thing, the original 1951 thing. The John Carpenter thing? That's it. I'm done. And some of the nerdier people here might have read the original short story.

So if you're into who goes there, we might bring that up too. If it's not one thing, it's another. That's what I'm saying. So I say come back for the super thing special because it's going to kick ass. So go watch every version of the thing that has ever been created and come back next time.

Or go watch Cardinals. Or Howard Hawks. Howard Hawks. Can't go wrong. Otherwise, that about does it.

We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening. You put them in the oven about a quarter hour. But the thing that gives them their magic power is the chocolate chips inside.

Chocolate chip cookies, I gotta have more. You can bake them in the oven or buy them at the store. But whatever you do, have them ready at the door. And I'll love you till I die. I can do without booze.

I can do without pot. I can do without nicotine, no thanks a lot. But bring them from the oven, nice and hot. And I'm a chocolate chip cookie fiend. Chocolate chip cookies, I gotta have more.

You can bake them in the oven or buy them at the store. But whatever you do, have them ready at the door. And I'll love you till I die. You can't eat one, you can't eat two. Once you start chewing, there's nothing to do But clean your plate, eat the crumbs too Then go and find some more Chocolate chip cookies, I gotta have more You can bake them in the oven or buy them at the store But whatever you do, have them ready at the door And I'll love you till I die If you want to make a friend You don't need beauty or money to lend.

Give them all your love, but be sure you send some chocolate chip cookies too. Chocolate chip cookies, I gotta have more. You can bake them in the oven or buy them at the store. But whatever you do, have them ready at the door. And I'll love you till I die.

I knew a little woman once upon a time. Ugliest sin and she didn't have a dime. I was just gonna leave her, but she changed my mind. She made those cookies for me. Chocolate chip cookies, I gotta have more.

You can bake them in the oven or buy them at the store. But whatever you do, have them ready at the door. And I'll love you till I die. I knew another woman, pretty as a star. Had a lot of money and a big sports car.

But I had to leave her. That's the way things are. She couldn't make cookies for me. Chocolate chip cookies. I gotta have more.

You can bake them in the oven or buy them at the store. But whatever you do, have them ready at the door. And I'll love you till I die. When it comes to women, you must be wise. Sometimes you have to compromise i finally met a girl who was just my size so i made cookies for her chocolate chip cookies i gotta have more you can bake them in the oven or buy them at the store but whatever you do have them ready at the door and i'll love you till i die Now when I die, I don't want wings, a golden halo or a harp that sings.

Give me a book, a fire, and someone that brings me chocolate chip cookies all day. Chocolate chip cookies, I gotta have more. You can bake them in the oven or buy them at the store. But whatever you do, have them ready at the door. And I'll love you till I die.

And it reminded me, it was the same thing, I couldn't keep up with the stories. And I was trying, there was a point when I was trying to make a short film based on this called The Motherfuckers. Yeah. You can put that on the market. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Auditude Studios, with opening music performed by the Empires.

For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!