177: Halfway an Adult

It's Orlando Jones, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. I said you're listening to Movie Meltdown. I didn't say you were texting while listening to Movie Meltdown. Jackass. Falling Program is a proud member of the Palava family of podcasts.

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Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. Provide more cooling in the containment chamber. To your stations, we have a movie meltdown. If I had known I'd end up as a sex slave, I never would have gone to that audition in Orlando. What's up?

Welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian, and with me this week we have special guest co-host Mr. Orlando Jones. How are you, man? All right, all right.

Um, you've been, um, I guess out doing standup now. So while you were here, I thought we'd, we'd bring you in and sit down and talk about all kinds of stuff. So, um, I guess first just to intro to you, I guess early on what, um, like where you were, what was it? Uh, South Carolina you were born? Uh, Alabama, Mobile.

Mobile. Yeah. And then, um, I guess that early on, usually I like to go back and kind of get, get a feel for people when they were young. I mean, did you, initially take to comedy or i mean were you that kid that was always you know acting well i believe most parents would say you're over there acting like an idiot you know but later you you can parlay that into a career so you know were you. One of those kids was i tony hawk on a skateboard there you go you're.

Never gonna make a living on that skateboard boy. You're gonna have to get a real job one of. These days Yeah, I don't think he ever listened to that. Thank goodness for him. No, I mean, I don't think, I don't know that that.

Was necessarily the plan. I think they were, you know, more traditional Southern parents. Yeah. Pushing towards law school. You know, all that kind of jazz.

Were you not on board with that? Were you fighting that from early on? No, I mean, I. Wasn't like, you know, I worked for a lawyer, actually. I did a bunch of paralegal work when I was underage.

And for a lawyer down in South Carolina who's now a judge. And, you know, I was a chemistry major. Nerdy tendencies, all right. Yeah, probably heavy nerdy tendencies. Yeah.

So yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't know that, uh, you know, my, my first. Um, foray into entertainment was, you know, doing, you know, I was doing theater. So, you know, I was doing, you know, Othello and, and, and that sort of stuff. And, you know, home, San Mart Williams and, you know, museum. But I was, you know, doing plays.

So, you know, comedy was, um, you know, in its traditional go-do standup form was, you know, I, I wrote jokes that. I would send in to like Leno. Wow. Cause he'd pay you like 25 bucks a joke. And, uh, You get another 25 if I had a callback.

Nice. So I used to write little jokes and send them in, and occasionally he'd buy some, so I'd do that kind of thing. How old were you then? I was a kid. I was probably 16, 17.

Wow. I was writing a couple things. That says something about Jay's writers. I suppose. Well, there was a lot of guys, a lot of comedians doing it.

I was sending them in through another comedian who I knew who'd been out as he was older than me, and so he sort of had the connect as to how to do it, and he and I hooked up and started working together in advertising at the time. So we had a little thing called Homeboys Productions, and we would do our little commercials and crap, and he was like, yo, we can make a couple bucks writing jokes for Leno, so we'd send in our jokes. So this is still 16-ish? 17. 17, and you've opened your own production company?

I have my little ad agency, and we were doing work, 17 and 18, and getting a few clients. Wow. And, you know, I did a bunch of, you know, I did Food Lion ads and Mazda and. All that kind of jazz. And that gave me some tape of myself.

And that's what led me to Hollywood. So I was pretty much there, I guess, you know, 18, 19. And I had a job writing on a different world. So it was, I don't know, I guess it was a weird journey. I'm not really sure.

I don't have anything else to compare it to. So to me it made sense. Did you plan on... getting into writing or did that just happen from, from everything else? No, writing was. Always something you did like, um, because you wanted to say something more than, you know, thank you, please come again.

You know, you want to, you know, the roles for like, you know, teenage black kids. Were not in abundance. Not the best. They're not in abundance now. No, that's true.

So nothing has changed on that front. That's true. In order to, uh, to, to, uh, perform, you know, you had the right. So I, I started really kind of writing out of necessity more than anything else. And, um, and that's kind of how it led.

That's again, pretty high profile stuff though. I mean, that was a different world was one of the biggest shows in the world at that time, you know, coming off of Cosby. Yeah, it was. I mean, I, I didn't, I mean, I wasn't in the early Lisa Bonet days. I didn't join the show until it was like in fourth, fifth season.

But yeah, I mean, look, it was, you know, it When it's time slot every night, it was the biggest television block in television history. Cosby, The Different World, Cheers, L.A. Law. So it was a pretty big block. That's when they still owned the entire TV.

They've fallen from that at this point. Yeah, I mean, please. I was a kid, so I didn't really know what it was. I hear now, American Idol had 18 million viewers. 18 million viewers would have been a horrible thing. night for us, you know.

It's a very different media environment than it was, yeah. Oh, totally. I mean, we did 25 million, 20, you know, 22 million people. Yeah, easily. Regularly, easily.

On a bad night. So, and you know, Cosney was doing 30, 40 million. So, you know, it was definitely huge, I guess. So it's, it's funny to have come from that and now, and now hear people sort of talk about, you know, it just, I don't know, it's weird to me a little bit because it's almost like they don't, they don't remember it or they don't get it or something. It's just full of shit.

Yeah. So much. Cause even like something big, like Mad Men, like the numbers they get because they're on another, you know, they're on several notches down kind of network. It's like 2 million views. It's nothing compared to, yeah, it's massive.

You know what I mean? Like literally we get canceled for 2 million views. Yeah. Yeah. Like I can't even conceive of that as, I mean, and in truth, I think it gives you a really clear sense of how heavy the hype machine is.

When a show's doing that, has that few viewers. Yeah. And has that level of press. And just how many different avenues now that the internet has taken over so much stuff that like, Sure, yeah. I think that that's kind of cut down on a lot of the TV watching and probably what they can count now because everybody's Hulu-ing it and streaming.

Well, that they can count. And a lot of things are driving back to television. So I'm not of the opinion that, you know, that, I think the revolution on the internet is different than how people phrase it, to me. It's not becoming one thing. TV will be the internet.

It's all the same thing, eventually. Certainly, that protocol is definitely where it's going. Exactly. But the problem is, and it's a formidable problem, is that without a Barker, without a real marketing budget, the internet is more cluttered. Than television is.

There's a lot of stuff out there. Yeah, you know, so people talk about, oh, everybody's uploading and using, but I'm like, yeah, but nobody's listening to it. You know, advertisers, which is what the television business is, they need a massive amount of people because they're trying to sell you Tide. So I think that's the real challenge to it, but we'll see what happens. Yeah.

Well, you did several shows in the writing stage. One of them, I was going to say, Rock, I always thought never got the appreciation that it kind of deserved. I thought that was one of the best written shows at that time. It was difficult. It was theater.

You forget that the show was live to air. There's no safety there. They attempted it every once in a while now, but that's still so strange, especially at that point. TV had gotten so Canned laughter. Oh, yeah.

We couldn't canned laughter. 14 takes on, you know, yeah. Yeah. And it changes the kind of joke you can do. Yeah.

So, you know, you can't tell the kind of joke that's an insert shot or, you know, or cut to this happens. Yeah. So, like, when you think about something like The Simpsons, it's not doable. Like, when are they going to change clothes? So, the story needs to take place over a finite amount of time.

They can only change clothes literally when there's a commercial break. Yeah. And there's only... three commercial. Breaks it's all in one set usually. Yeah so you it just it changed the way you could tell the story it it was.

Kind of about it. I mean, thinking about it, it was kind of like Honeymooners-esque. Very much. Especially, I mean, that working class guy, it's set in that one apartment kind of setting where it was their house. And it wasn't a particularly big, high concept, goofy, you know, it was like, hey, I'm going to write this little, and here was the scariest part, It's a half-hour show, and we had to break down how much content went to air.

It was 29 pages. So you write a 50-page script, and in truth, 29 pages were going to air. And we didn't have the luxury of the edit. So you had to edit out the stuff that you would go, oh, I'll see how it works. You had to do that beforehand.

So it really changed, at least for me, completely the way I thought about writing and performing. Because the show was live. That's crazy. So it was difficult, but it was great. I mean, probably the most formidable learning experience for me in television.

Again, it just never got the recognition that it deserved for a sitcom. No, it didn't. I don't know what recognition it deserved. That's for somebody else to say, but it definitely was something where people did not grasp The level of difficulty. Yeah, even a lot of that, I don't think I realized how much you had to do before you even got to start the show.

Yeah, it was definitely a beast, but a lot of fun to do, man. A lot of fun. I did want to get into, obviously, Mad TV. Sure. Because we actually had someone from the show on here recently.

Oh, yeah, who did? We had Pat Kilbane. Okay, sure. You kind of passed by. I think he was right as you were leaving, he was coming in.

Yeah, he was after me. But unlike a lot of the other cast, I know Pat. Yeah. We actually did a movie together. But yeah, really funny guy.

Yeah, he's great. And I was asking him, because the show got a lot of talk about it, and especially as the seasons went on. So I guess I was going to get your take on it. You were there at sort of the inception of it. What was the early days of it like?

I was batshit crazy in the early days. We were shooting 150 pages of material in a week and a half. One hour show. It was just out of control. And we were shooting film and beta and then we'd have this sort of in front of the audience live show.

And we had combined sort of two stages. We'd have like 600 people in front. Of a live audience. There's a lot of people for that kind of show. And it was just kind of, when we first did it, it was like the Wild West.

It really was, you know. And there were all these protocols that were really just stupid. Like, you know, like, we couldn't say we were going up against Saturday Night Live because we were actually on against the news, I think, the first time. Like, the first half hour of Saturday Night Live, we were up against, you know what I mean? It was like, it was just weird.

Like, we really weren't up against them. And Quincy Jones was good friends with Lorne Michaels. Yeah. You know, he was like, hey, man, we can't, you know, long as we're buddies. It was, like, really weird.

And if you're really buddies, you wouldn't even put it on the same night. Right? You're going up against each other in some sense. Yeah, like, what are we doing? So that was weird.

And the network at the time had all these sort of, like, Party of Five and 90210. They had all these sort of one-hour teeny-bopper soap opera. Family drama, yeah. Things you know and we were like this comedy show but they didn't really have any half hour comedy shows you know like Married With Children was sort of on the downturn and The Simpsons was always on and you know but it was really weird so it was just kind of completely the wild west and like everybody hated everybody. It was like a war going on at all.

Times I think most of those live comedy acts that's what you hear it's like because it's so much competition to get your thing on there and get what you want done and yeah. It was like triply fucked for me because I was the only cast member that was on the writing staff oh So I knew what all the writers were saying about the cast because I was in the room. But when I went to the rehearsal hall, I knew what the director and all the actors were saying about the writers. But you couldn't rat. You couldn't tell.

Because it was going to blow up. You're the only one, yeah. So I would just sit and be like, yep, I hear you. What was I going to say? So it was weird to be in both of those rooms and listen to The amount of shit people were talking.

It's fucking crazy, man. Wouldn't all the actors be trying to work you to get their bit in there? Yeah, I mean. You're the inside track. They were kind of cool about that, but I would definitely get pulled aside or ask some question like, hey, what are they thinking?

I'm like, that ain't my fucking problem. And even if I knew... I was like, call up there and ask. Even if it was my bit, I really tried to stay out of it. Because they don't know who wrote what.

So I wouldn't say anything. Sometimes they'd be shitting all over something I wrote. And I'd just be like, all right, cool. It's in my best interest to shut up now. Right, right.

So sometimes I would go and take the note, and sometimes I'd be like, fuck, I have to just say it. I'll do whatever I want. Yeah, it was weird, man. It was a weird show to do. And I left first, which was another weird thing.

Because I kind of started a mutiny on the bounty, but that wasn't my intention. You know what I mean? It did become kind of a rotating cast as the years went on pretty quickly, too. Yeah, it was weird, dude. I mean, I had a lot of.

I wasn't like... I had credits when I showed up. Even though they were the camera credits I still had serious credits so I was able to sort of negotiate a different deal but you know the rest of the cast was kind of like their first show so they didn't really know what was what so and you would try and tell them and they would like and then these are you know people I have a lot of respect for but they hadn't sat behind the room you know at that point I'd been a television producer I was you know 23 years old and I was trying to tell them like dude it doesn't work like that like Nobody's really out to get you. It's just different. You don't know.

It's the studios, the network. Don't worry about it. But they were like, shut the fuck up, asshole. It doesn't work like that, man. This is fucking bullshit.

I'm like, all right, see how far that gets you. So by the time I heard the second season, I was like, I'm out of here. This is not fun. So, yeah, it was fun. Yeah, as it went on, it seemed like it got worse and worse for everyone.

Well, they cut the budget on them. Yeah, that's what Pat said. By the end, it was in a shoebox, and there was barely an audience. Well, when I left, they had already killed shooting film. They had already murdered that.

It had been two seasons. Yeah, because we were sprawling over budget. It was craziness. But we didn't care. It wasn't our job to fix the budget.

Yeah. It was kind of out of control in so many levels and like, the girls kind of hated each other. You know, Debra Wilson didn't. But, you know, Mary and Nicole did not get along well. So that was a lot of stuff going on there, dude.

Drama. Yeah, it was super crazy drama and, you know, Artie Lang was living with me and, you know, Artie was. Like, Well, that's trouble already. You know what I mean? Like, he tried to kill himself so we were going through that madness.

You know what I mean? And then he came back to the show and it spiraled again. Like, So there was a lot of stuff going on. We could spend hours just talking about the intricacies, but you know, Artie's like, was my man. Like, you know what I mean?

So I couldn't really figure out why, you know, people were like, well, I was like, I love Artie, but like, you let him come back. Like, he didn't figure it out yet. Like, and he landed on Stern where it's where he always wanted to be. So I was really happy for that. But Yeah, dude, it was out of control.

It was, like, in the fullest sense of the word, like, reality TV, like, we would have made, the behind-the-scenes reality TV show about Mad TV would have been insane. I'm kind of thinking they need, like, a made-for-TV movie of the drama vibes. You know how they love to do those. This will give you an indication of how insane it was. I will never forget first season, I think it was Fax Bar and Adam Small, who were two execs for Easter's Time, you know, Both cool guys.

And I remember Adam said something crazy to Debra Wilson. I can't remember what it was. And Debra told him, like, listen, I will run you down and stick my thumb in your asshole. And I think Adam thought she was joking. And they made some, like, pseudo bet.

And the next day, she chased him down and stuck her. Finger in his ass. And you should have seen his face. Like, this little black woman with, like, huge tits, like, pinned him to the ground. I saw it.

I was like, did she just. I don't need to know no more. Like, what is going on? But that's kind of crazy shit. Don't start what you can't finish.

Oh, dude. I was like, man, I'm good on that. I don't want to get that far into it. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'm a clinch every time I see her from now on.

You got to settle this amongst yourselves. Yeah, we're doing Black Dynamite now. Haven't seen her in a minute. New show on Comedy Central. Yeah.

She's so funny. I saw her, and every time I see her, I remind her. I was like, you stuck your fucking finger in. And the producer's ass, do you remember that? I told him.

Exactly. That's Debra. She's just alive. I love her. Great lady.

Well, I guess at this point, are you trying to forget about 7-Up? Has everybody asked you about it to the point that you're sick of it? No. We can leave it alone. I don't really care, to be honest.

I mean, it was so much later. I was like six movies in or something. You were recognizable at that point, I remember. At that point already. I think the weirdest thing about it, you notwithstanding, the most annoying thing about it is how stupid the press is.

I mean, they're just fucking bone stupid. Well, that's why I was just like, you probably could care less and don't want to talk about it. But you're still sort of known for that. Yeah, but what's fucked up about it, to be honest with you, is I can't figure out if it's race or what it is. I really try and put my finger on it sometimes, but it doesn't really make any sense.

It's like, you don't call Jennifer Aniston the Friends Lady. You're like, hey, Frizz Lady. Well, sometimes I do. You know what I mean? It's like it's not– but it's like a weird thing to me because there's like 40 other things you could know me from that were equally as big.

So it's just. Weird from the mainstream press point of view that they try and pretend– like I kind of finally understood why– you know, Mark Wahlberg was like, call me Marky Mark and the interview's over. You know what I mean? Like, he's like, yo, fuck you. Walk away.

Like, I kind of got it, like, because at this point, to talk to him about the Funky Bunch is kind of insane. And I kind. Of feel like, I feel like, like, probably, like, next year, I'm probably just going to draw the line and be like, I'm done. Like, I'm done. Only because, like, you know, you could talk about Mad TV, you could talk about, Time Machine, or Evolution, or Double Take, or Drumline, or Bedazzled, or The Replacements.

I mean, like, there's... Or you could talk about the... Like, this is what I normally get. This is no bullshit. I go like, oh my god, I didn't know you were a writer.

Nice. I'm like, how the fuck could you not know that? Like, if you Google. Yeah. It's impossible for it not to come up.

Like, how could you not know that? Or they go, man, the last movie you did was a drama. Was that your first drama? Nice. What the fuck are you talking about?

Like. I haven't done a, literally, I probably haven't done a comedy in, I mean, aside from my new show on ABC, you know, How to Live with Your Parents, I haven't done a comedy probably in three or four years. So it's sort of like, where have you been? So it's very weird to me that I just kind of think people kind of try and gravitate to the lowest common denominator. But that's not even the lowest common denominator.

That's what creeps me out about it. You're probably thinking, I did way worse things than that. Way worse. It's funny to me. I feel like you just have to at some point go, I'm drawing the line and that's it.

It doesn't bother me because I was creatively and I wrote that. Don't get me wrong, there were other people involved in the writing process, but I was definitely... deep entrenched in that world and writing and making that campaign. So I'm proud of it, you know, very much in terms of how it came out, but I didn't know. It was going to happen like that. You know what I mean?

You don't, you don't know what's going to happen, but it was cool. It was, to be honest with you, I couldn't believe they let me do it. That's kind of why I wanted to bring it up is it in a way it's like so many other people that get, you know, known for big, huge, you know, advertising campaigns gets painted in this corner. They really kind of let you be you, and you weren't specifically whatever they were trying to make you. It almost made your character as identifiable as the product, which had to be useful in trying to map out where you were going career-wise.

I mean, to. Be honest with you, that particular character in that ad and I don't have a lot in common, but it was definitely a character-driven campaign. And to be honest with you, that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to do a character-driven ad campaign. And at the time, people didn't do character-driven ad campaigns.

It just simply wasn't done. And also, ad campaigns of that size didn't go to people like me, you know, Magic Johnson. It went to professional athletes or big sort of superstars. So it was, I have to. Say, them really, I have to... tip my hat to them sort of thinking outside of the box just to begin with.

And then to sort of let me kind of create a character to do in a campaign. And he was just clueless. I mean, for me, it was an homage to probably my favorite actor of all time, Peter Sellers. So for me, I've been obsessed with Peter Sellers forever. So I was like, yo, I want to do this Inspector Clouseau type guy in the sense that he doesn't get When it goes wrong, he never gives up the ghost.

Clouseau, everything goes wrong. Clouseau remains on the case. He is on top of things. Yeah. In his mind.

In his mind. And that sort of, to me, was it. That guy is on top of things at all times, and everything is going wrong. So I really wanted to do my version of what that character would be. And that's really what the campaign was.

For me, that's what it was. And that's a big gamble for them, really. So it's... It was. It was.

But they had gambled just before then and lost. They did this campaign called Are You An Un? And it just tanked. That's already bad. Yeah, it's like, whatever.

And by the way, don't get me wrong, they didn't have great... They wanted to do 7-Up, It's What's Up or 7-Up, Drink It Up. And I was like, those suck. And I literally scribbled on the back of a napkin, like, make 7-Up yours just because I thought. It was funny.

And also, I kind of felt like The audience they were trying to target, like, I'm a. Big believer in disruptors. Like, I believe that you try and do something that just disrupts what. Was there before it. And I really wanted to do something that was a disruptor campaign.

And I credit the head of 7-Up at the time because he really was the guy that got it. It was like, you know, like, southern dude. So we already bonded on the whole southern thing. And he was hilarious. He was like, you know, I go out there and I play golf with my buddies.

And I'll be out there, and I'm hitting the golf ball, and I'll tell them what this ad agency got for me. And they're good boys up there at the agency. They're good boys. But I'll tell them what they got for me, and they don't like it at all. I'll tell them what you say, and they just.

Laugh and laugh. So I think we're going to go with you on this. We'll see how it comes out. Nice. And that's how the campaign got greenlit.

Just like that. So it was something where I don't believe that ad guys have those kind of balls these days. Everything's kind of safe. It kind of feels derivative. Yeah, I mean, even at the time, I remember thinking that was very...

Just that slogan alone was something that most corporations wouldn't touch, you know? Oh, no, no. It's offensive, you know? And you could take it however you. Want, really.

Well, people forget, like, Katie Couric, like, literally called me out on the Today Show. It was like, this campaign is offensive. And I was like. I'll never forget, she brought the dude on who was the head of Adweek at the time. And she was like, this is offensive.

And he was like, I think you can argue... either you think it's funny or you don't think it's funny. He goes, I don't know if you can say it's offensive. Even if it is, what's it to you? Who cares? Yeah, dude.

But I was under fire for that. Don't buy that drink then if you hate it. Dude, they pulled us from the Super Bowl, man. They pulled Make7UpYours. This is how crazy corporate America can be.

They took Make7UpYours off of the Super Bowl and put in, show us your cans. Oh, that's way classier. Which was one of. The bits where people send me pictures of their ass. Yeah.

And I'm trying to go and send pictures of them with 7up and they're sending pictures of their ass. But the funny thing is now, 21st century, you see people like having webpages, Facebook and Twitter campaigns where brands are actually trying to get people to do that. I'm like, we did this as a joke. Are you guys really trying to do this shit now? Like, are you.

People are going to send you a picture of them with a soda? Like, what? It's just all upside down, dude. It's crazy. But yeah, I thought that was a joke.

So that's what the Super Bowl ad was. Because make sense of yours is offensive. Of course. Fuck you, motherfuckers. It's a joke.

That's funny. Yeah, just get over it. Don't like it if you don't like it, but yeah. I'm like, could Lenny Bruce and George Carlin... Because they live today.

You know what I mean? Yeah, see? It's a different world. It's like everything's supposed to be censored. It's like, how do we get here?

It's crazy to me, man. Well, it's like we as a society, as a people, continue to get more offensive and more obnoxious, but yet the window gets smaller and smaller for what's PC and what you can do. They act like we all clicked agree to it in some iTunes video. update or some shit i'm like i didn't read that in itunes update i don't. Nobody reads the update. Like they act like there's a social contract that's in the itunes update and we all clicked it.

But you know not knowing that. You can't say this and you can't say that you can't make fun of this person you have to be careful what joke you make i'm like careful. Jokes kind of bullshit is this man this laugh is a laugh. Man this is come on well that's one of the things i was gonna ask was um just because you've dealt with, you know, you do, especially doing like the show, doing like different characters or sometimes making fun of like celebrities or people in the real world. Have you ever gotten yourself in trouble?

Especially when you like run into someone later? Well, I mean, I think the rule of thumb is that you don't make fun of who people are, but you can make fun of what they do or what they say. That's fair game. So I haven't particularly, I don't, I don't particularly talk about like celebrities as it were but i definitely use myself or anybody as an example um but yeah i've i've been known to say some shit um but uh i know. I do the same thing you know sometimes you're like oh well I'm sitting here next to this person.

How did that happen? I mean, some people I know, like a lot of people I know. You know what I mean? Some people I don't know. Do you know what I mean?

So if I don't know the person, I sometimes try to, you. Know, be a little careful about it. But if you did some dumb shit, you did some dumb shit. I'm sorry. You're asking for it.

And there's different levels of dumb shit. I mean, like, you know, like I don't know what's going to happen when I bump into Kim Kardashian. You know what I'm saying? I don't know how that's going to work out. And here's the problem.

Like, I actually don't. Dislike her in fact i actually really like courtney courtney's my favorite of that bunch yeah but um um i think she's mad cool actually but i don't know her don't get me wrong um. But i think that what they stand. For and propagate is dangerous oh yeah you know i'm like they don't have any talent and and and as a as a as an entertainer you know the craft is the most important. Thing I think that's the part of the system that's broke now, is that that is fine to go through.

It's nice that they're opening the window to let a lot more people in, but it should be the people who are good at something, you know? Yeah. Not just... It should be. You're there.

Like, you wouldn't... I mean, there's things that you. We have allowed mediocrity into a part of society, but it happens to be a corner of society where I do my thing. So if I treat it with as much disrespect... As some.

Jackass who doesn't know the difference, then I can't complain. You know what I mean? So I talk about that, and they come up in conversation because Barbara Walters kind of said it best, which is like you're kind of famous for nothing. Yeah, literally. I think she said, quote, forgive me, you don't have any talent.

Nice. And when she said it, two things ran through my mind. One was, you're right. And two, if you believe that, why the fuck do you have him on your show? It's popularity.

It's media. Right, but I kind of felt like as a journalist, don't you. Have an obligation to shun, to bring legit people? Was Meryl Streep not available? I mean, you know what I'm saying?

They're on the same level, right? Right, right. There are talented people out there that are fighting to sort of cut through the muck, but you don't shine a spotlight on them. You shine a spotlight on on these, these people. And so I, in that sense, you know, I'm an entertainer, you know, I'm, I'm a writer, you know, actor, you know, performance, what I do.

And, and I, I don't take it light. I take it seriously because, you know, the story I always tell is the medium always changes. You know what I mean? It might be digital today and who knows what it's going to be tomorrow. You know, we've already made the moves from tape to You know what I mean?

We've made more moves in the last 25 years than we ever did before that. Yeah, you know, it's crazy when you think about, you know, albums and cassettes and, you know, and how things were recorded and captured and so on and so forth, you know, from when the first recording devices came along. But my point is that, you know, Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, you know, they could play the guitar, like flat play the guitar. And they had a craft. And through all the different changes of the different mediums, I still listen to those guys because.

Of the craft. It's a basic talent. Right. It's a basic talent. And I still feel like the focus on the basic talent is still, for me, the focus.

Like, to be the best actor, performer I can be is still it. To try and write and not write shit that is entirely derivative. To perform not just a stand-up show, but a show that feels like it's bigger than the room. I mean, that is. What my job is, my job is not to lower the fucking bar and make it easier for a motherfucker.

My job is to make it more difficult. So I take that part real serious because I love and feel that God, for whatever reason, touched me and gave me a gift. I think he gives everybody a gift. But he gave me this one. And if I squander it and act like it ain't shit, then I do a disservice. you know, to the man or the woman upstairs.

So, and I'm not trying to do that. So I take it serious. And that's where the Karakardashians and I run afoul. Yeah. You know, me and Paris Hilton run afoul right there.

You know what I mean? When people try and justify it, like, I don't know. I saw her walking. You know, she's got something. She's got something.

I'm like, a vagina? She's a DJ now. What are you talking about? Stop it. That's her new thing.

Felix the house cat. You know what I mean? Ruckus is a DJ. My man DJ Ruckus. Ruckus is a DJ.

Felix DJ. Dallas Austin, who is an incredibly prolific music producer. DJ, my man. Paris can hit play on the iTunes. I guess.

A DJ? Stop kidding me. It's intermission time. So how about taking a break? Get out and stretch a little and relax before the show begins again.

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Pardon me, sir, but what are you looking at? Is that by any chance the picture called The Pink Panther? Who's in it? Oh, it's David Niven. And Peter Sellers.

How is he in the picture? Rolls him in the aisle, eh? We must find that woman. Who else? Capucine?

Ah, exquisite. I see Robert Wagner's in it, too. I understand that the picture features the music of Henry Mancini. And introduces Fran Jeffries. Melio stasera Tweet.

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Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. Are you tired of film podcasts where the hosts exist in a constant blissful state of agreement? I mean, the main characters are two of the dullest main characters I have ever encountered in any film. Well, you're in luck.

Let me introduce you to Tune Stroker and Punter. One is an ex-film. Student who is a penchant for David Lynch and art cinema. The other is a man on the street. Listen in perplexed and horrified terror as we tear apart one film a week.

It just really isn't. It's not visually striking. No. I'm just getting confirmation. That's the third time though.

Is this on? You can find us at csvsp.libson.com So come and share the victory. If you could fuck any man in film, who would it be and why? My answer is Lance Henriksen. He wouldn't tell.

He looks like somebody... He looks like somebody who can keep a secret. Hi, this is Lewis Gossett Jr. This is Movie Meltdown. Hey!

One man, one goal One mission, one heart One soul, just one solution One flash of light Yeah! It's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. Enough movies.

All of life's. Riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on. With the show. Well, you mentioned one, but I was going to see what some of your influences were, comedic and just, you know, as a fan of movies or whatever.

So Peter Sellers is definitely one. Yeah, I mean, that's pretty, that's high cotton, is what I like to say. Yeah, I mean, Sellers, Kubrick, you know, Lars von Trier, I think is pretty amazing as a director. You know, Gene Hackman, you know, Lawrence Fishburne. Um, and a lot of people who I, you know, I just, I love the people who love the craft, you know what I mean?

You, you cannot love street, you know, Shirley MacLaine. It's amazing to me. Yeah. Just, you know, the, the. Longevity of like what she does is just like, it's, it's boggling to me.

Um, yeah, man, it's a lot of people who I dig, a lot of writers, you know, from Henry Miller on down to, uh, you know, uh, where worldwide pants came from, you know, like Monty Python, the voice, you know what I mean? Like, Yeah. I mean, there's just a lot of phenomenal guys out there who I think, you know, were breaking new ground. And, you know, when I was coming up, those were the guys who I was, I kind of going, you know, drifted towards. Yeah.

And, you know, Cosby was definitely, you know, an iconic storyteller. I mean, he just, he just is. Yeah. I mean, so, you know, and Kennison and Bill Hicks and, you know, Bill Mars and Shelley Berman and, You know, if you want to go that far back, W.C. Fields.

Oh, yeah. You know, it's very cold that day. You know, and the sunshine bright. You almost made me laugh. So, yeah, there are a lot of cats who I think, you know, that I drew from because I always sort of would pick what I liked from each one of them and try and sort of understand what they were doing and where they were coming from.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that's always been my vibe. I've always been sort of in awe of some pretty staggering talent. Definitely. I guess to get sort of into your movie career, what was the big crossover for you?

Well, I think it was weird because I use that word a lot. I think Liberty Heights, a movie I did with Barry Levinson film that Ben Foster and Adrian Brody and I all did and Justin Chambers and all those guys, B.B. Neuwirth and Joe Mantegna. It was the Hollywood movie. Because Barry Levinson is a big, you know, A-list director.

You know, obviously at that time in particular. Even more so, yeah. Yeah, you know, the natural and Rain Man, you know what I mean? He's very iconic. So when he puts you in a movie. and nobody has ever heard of you, really.

It changes your scope inside the business, but it doesn't change you to the average guy on the street, because he doesn't know that. So I would say that that was the big changeover. It definitely put me in a different pedigree. And so when I did Magnolia, worked with Paul Thomas Anderson, and started working with those kinds of folks, it definitely changed the landscape. But unfortunately, there weren't enough roles for people of my age and persuasion to sustain a career doing that.

So I quickly sort of had to, ended up doing stuff like The Replacements. And I learned that Hollywood has this really short attention span. I'd left MADtv I got Liberty Heights and did Magnolia, and I couldn't get arrested into comedy afterwards because people said I was a drama actor. Yeah. And I was like, I came from.

That's what it always is. Yeah, TV. Like, are you serious? And so we literally did the replacements because we were proving like, no, he. No, remember comedy?

Remember comedy? And that sort of was the moment where I said I wanted to kind of move back and forth. And then various things sort of exploded and happened after that. But the big thing was that a lot of the movies that I did, did okay at the box office. Like Replacements did okay at the box office, but they took on this iconic role on television.

So it's a weird thing to have that happen because I still have so many movies that run heavily on TV, like constantly, but they weren't big hundred million dollar blockbuster movies, which put me in a weird position. Um, and that was, you. Know, but you don't know that you're like, you don't know where anything's going. So, And as I sort of was like, I'm an actor, you know, that's what I do. I think it really informed a lot of stuff.

So I find myself really kind of happy to be in the position that I am right now. In some ways, very fortunate that it's my first time in Louisville doing stand-up. And every time I'm here, people say. Oh, no, no, you were here before, weren't you? Yeah.

No, no, I'm pretty sure I wasn't. They're like, are you sure? I'm like, I think I remember this. I've seen you somewhere. Right.

It could be those 40 movies that are playing all the time. They think they saw me do stand-up. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, you lose perspective.

As long as you're in the public eye in some fashion. It's crazy to. Me, right? That's funny to me. So, yeah, I think Liberty Heights and those movies were probably definitely the turning point.

Yeah. And. And now, you know, I'm literally, I leave to go do a movie on Monday. So I go to Bulgaria. I'm doing an action movie there called Enemies Closer.

So that's my next stop in the movie world. Well, that's one of the, you mentioned Paul Thomas Anderson. What was working with him like? Really talented, obviously, director. Really a cool guy.

I mean, he has a very clear sense of the story he's telling. And the layers that... I think. He's... He's looking...

The onion. Yeah. And he's looking to. Unpeel it layer by layer. And I think his use of camera movement is pretty extraordinary.

And as a director, he really is an actor's director. Does he ask more of the actors or something different than most directors? I think, no, he is, he doesn't sit behind a monitor. He watches you right next to the camera. Yeah.

He shoots 2,000 foot mags of film instead of 1,000 foot mags so that he doesn't have to cut so you don't have to come out of character. And he often will be like, no, stay away, stay away, roll again, go again. So he doesn't like, He doesn't want to cut, you know what I mean? He wants to keep you in character. And he does everything he can to make both the set and the environment and everything around you help you give the best performance you can.

And he takes the technical aspects of movie making and tries to alter them as best he can to help you get the best performance. And there are a lot of phenomenal directors. I don't think they go to those great lengths to... to give you that, that opportunity and support you. So when you work with him, you truly feel supported, um, from top to bottom, um, in the way that he approaches, um, making the film and, and helping you, um, emote. So yeah, I got to tip my hat to him and the way that he does that.

And that is, that is different. That is, that is different. And there are directors and I've worked with a number that certainly care about the actors and want to help a lot, but they don't alter the process as much as he does. You know, um, there were a few others I was going to hit just to see if you had interesting, you know, stuff from the shoot or, or just stories that went along with it. Um, and this, I mean, you, you, this is probably one of the best examples of what you were just talking about.

Evolution probably wasn't huge at the time, but I've found so many people that love that movie over the years that like discovered it on cable or found it on DVD. And yeah, And it's built a big fan base over the years, so I didn't know what that was. Yeah, it was a fun movie. It was a strange movie because I'm walking this very weird line the whole movie because it's a science fiction movie. And in the spirit, I guess, of Ghostbusters, obviously they have the same director, Ivan Reitman.

It's a science fiction movie comedy, but it requires something kind of different than Ghostbusters because. it requires you to. Take the science seriously. Where Ghostbusters doesn't really ever make you have to do that. You know what I mean? It's like you're capturing ghosts, you've got your thing.

It beeps, it lights up, it's science. Right, it's science. This was sort of like all of a sudden you're looking at a periodic chart talking about mitosis. So it sort of had this actual scientific element, the title alone. These creatures that evolve at a much more rapid rate than we evolve.

So all of that was... It was strange and a little bit to sort of try and walk the line between playing comedy and playing, hey. I'm a volleyball player. Coach who's talking science you know yeah um so it was a fun movie to do uh in that in that sense we were like stuck in this one joke town in arizona it was like uh right next to the dam and it was everything was there was a damn bar the damn cleaners you know the damn hotels because it was one joke town everything was the damn And, you know, the company and I just had a great time together. I mean, he's still, you know, somebody I regard as a close friend.

And I dig him. And Julianne was, you know, wonderful as usual. I thought she caught an unnecessary amount of crap for doing a comedy. Yeah. Which I thought she pulled off famously.

And Sean William Scott was great. I mean, he had a lot of great people in that movie. Ethan Supple. Yeah. And I think, and Harold, not Kumar.

John Cho. But, yeah, a lot of really funny people. in that movie, amazing cast together, a lot of fun to do, but yeah, I've had the luxury of being in a number of movies that have become cults, like Office Space became like a cult movie, Evolution, and you know, again, Drumline, it's weird that those movies all sort of became big cult fan movies, so I kind of feel blessed or honored to have had those movies become that much a part of the pop culture as I guys, like I'll be watching Monday Night Football every now and then. And see a guy do my replacements. End zone thing you know where they pretend they got to stick them on the hand the ball like I saw. It I was like hey that's me.

Like you know do I get a residual check for that wait a minute that's. Mine yeah that's mine I remember that that's crazy so yeah man it's it's I've been blessed in that regard but yeah you're right I mean I think that movie did far better in Europe it was like a hundred million dollar movie in Europe and I. Think it capped out at around 60 or so here and then took on another life on TV and DVD. So what are you going to do? Actually, I was just watching time machine and, and there you were.

I, again, I kind of forgot you were even worked into that one, but you're sort of separate. Was that just you in a room by yourself the whole time or? Um, no. Um, I mean, Guy and I are obviously definitely there together. There's no way to do the scene without, um, your guy Pierce.

Um, You know, it's a science fiction movie, again. You know, H.G. Wells. And in the original movie, my role was the rings. Yeah.

But I have to say, you. Know, I tip my hat to Steven Spielberg and Laurie Parks. I'm sorry, Walter Parks and Laurie McDonald, who they produced in that movie. And Jeffrey Katzenberg, really, because that's why I was there. Those guys specifically put me in that movie and very much wanted.

The picture of the future to. encompass more people than it had previously encompassed so that was really them it was very much their thinking it was very much their doing and I felt sort of honored to be a part of it I'm sure H.D. Wells was spinning in his grave. Probably for several other versions before. You yes but we did our big visual effects version of it it's a fun movie to do I try and go nowhere to have a bad time but that was a fun one But I wasn't there for very long. I think I was...

They shot me out in a week. Yeah. I was going to another. Movie at the time, and I was there like a week, and we were gone, and then they brought me back to do the bit. At the end.

Yeah. I think I'm doing like a ground pull or something. I can't remember. Some book, I think. Oh, let's see.

I mean, are there... other ones that you've done that you feel are underappreciated and didn't, that you liked and thought should have caught on like that and, and didn't? Um, no, I don't like, um, my movies. Okay. From being honest. Um, I don't, I still feel like, um, I have, I have yet to deliver the film that I want to deliver, um, or the films that I want to deliver.

So, No, I don't like really any of them. I don't particularly care for Drumline or any of that. There are a few elements of performances I thought were okay. I did Cirque du Freak, The Vampire's Assistant, which I thought was interesting. I like Paul Weitz a lot.

I thought the movie was... I didn't like me in the movie, but I liked the movie. This movie, Beyond a Reasonable Doubt with Michael Douglas... Again, fun. In fact, I'm working with that director again now.

In fact, you know, there's a movie that people really are just starting to discover called Seconds Apart. It's a thriller, like a thriller, like throwback film noir movie. Film noir, like horror. Yeah. But more film noir than horror.

And that's been interesting because I get a lot of messages about that movie lately, like a lot of stuff. On Twitter and Facebook. What year was that? Seconds Apart? A year and a half ago.

Hmm. A little indie movie that I did that's really creepy. And I gained like 42 pounds for it. And that was fun to do. That's what I enjoyed.

I still don't like watching me, but I enjoyed it. And I'm curious, you. Know, and it meets closer in my next one, I'm curious. I just wrote a graphic novel, action comedy, that'll probably be next year called Tainted Love, which is really what I'm probably most excited about right now because I'm a big, crazy, you know, graphic novel comic book dude. So it's going to be fun to do that one.

Well, yeah, we usually do our own little, you know, whatever we've been watching or doing. I go with geek activities. That's just, you know, what we've done. So I was going to ask you what yours were, but yeah, graphic novels. That definitely lends itself to us. some fun geek interests.

What are you into as far as graphic novels? Well, I like... I mean, Frank Miller. Sort of obvious choice. I like some of his lesser-known stuff, oddly, like Mama Washington and shit like that, which is just crazy to me that he did that.

And I like... I like them because.... When I read comic books, comic books always, to some degree, felt like they were kind of for kids a little bit. And graphic novels always felt like those were the things that I wasn't supposed to be reading. We took those rules and threw them out the window, and here's what we drew.

Right, exactly. They just kind of went for it. I always wanted Batman to be a fucked up dark comedy, and now. That it is that... In the film world, I'm sort of obviously more drawn to it than ever.

It's hard to imagine him the other way sometimes. I think there's a whole new generation that doesn't get the campy thing that he used to be. That boom, bam! Or even like the Super Friends version where he's just squeaky clean. It's so weird now that there's a whole new generation that has no idea that that's a good portion of his run.

Yeah, and it's funny because I never saw him as that. I always. The Robin thing was always just like, what's going on? Are they dating? What's happening?

It never really makes sense, but you just go with it because Batman's still cool. Right, exactly. You got questions. Even though he didn't have no powers. That was the part that always got me with him.

I was like, but he ain't got no powers. I was fine with Batman. Superman's the one that always pissed me off. Because he's got everybody's power. And the super friends, they all have one thing that they can do, and the Superman can do them all.

He'll be running off with them doing the same thing as they're doing. I'm like, well, what do you need the rest of these idiots for? Why does the movie keep sucking? I don't know. It's like he's supposed to be like...

It's. Like they didn't know how to bring back Lex Luthor. You're only as good as the villain you're fighting against. You know what I mean? All of a sudden there's a dude running through cornfields and shit.

I was like, what the fuck is going on? This is not what I wanted to see. So I like graphic novels. I like the graphic nature of them. I like the fact that they're sort of dark comedies.

And I just dig that whole thing. And I kind of felt like if I was going to create something, why have somebody draw some pictures? And for the dying print business, I thought if I'm going to do a graphic novel, I'm just going to shoot one. So that's what I did. I went and shot a graphic novel and filmed the whole thing.

And it's called Tainted Love. And it's pretty badass. So is there a paper version also being done? The paper version will be done. Okay.

The paper version will be done. So it's sort of going in reverse of the way the movies happen now where they steal a graphic novel and make it into a good movie. Well, I wrote it and I wanted to shoot it because I wanted you to see it. And I wanted to make it the actual visual like a graphic. Novel so that there's no disconnect.

You're not. you're not trying to go from the paper to the, to the movie. Well, they changed this when they made the movie, right? This is what geeks do. Yeah. I wanted to be like, no, I want it to be a moving picture from its inception and then have the graphic novel illustration elements be a part of the moving picture.

Cause in 2012, it just seems like if you were going to do it, that's how you do it. Right. You know, I don't know. I don't have the luxury of doing it the way, you know, the, the greats did it. So I was just, let me just try it this way.

So, That's definitely my baby, so I'm really excited about it. That'll be next year, but it's pretty dope. Do you draw things? Or do you work on that level or i definitely you know i've always loved to sketch and draw um i'm not you know i'm not you know john bogdanoff or anybody uh you know um arville jones or any of those guys that were sort of in the early going to the 70s at that level but um you know if i need to i can sort of definitely sketch out hey here's what i'm thinking about And then I take people more talented than me and. Be like, yeah.

Now you do it. You do it. That's it. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, but it's much cooler how you did it.

But yeah, I love it, man. It's really just awesome. I'm enjoying this a lot. Very cool. I guess any other stuff that you're into now?

No, I'm just, you know, I'm sort of a barbarian or geek. I'm not sure which one it is. It's a fine line, yeah. Yeah, I watch my sports, dude, and Any movies? Have you seen anything recent?

No, I want to go check out, I'm a little curious about MI3. I'm like, MIB3. The trailers look whack, but everybody keeps saying it's good, and I don't believe it. It's funny how universally everybody disliked that second one. the first one was beloved and then the second one so it's weird that they even it's like they waited that long to come back and do three which is questionable anyway. Yeah so I'm a little like my nose is not like I'm not really sure about this one and you know I feel like they make nothing but content for girls now like you know what I mean that's what's selling it's all what to do when you're expecting but I will tell you the Avengers was pretty.

Badass yeah I did see that one. I mean, it's completely over the top. Whereas Battleship... I didn't make that one. What are the odds?

Yeah. I don't know why I didn't make it out to see that one. I get what they tried to do, too. But somehow it's just. It's like they missed on several...

Just trying to do a board game movie is a rough sell anyway. Because Battleship was never that kind of game. Yeah, it's not an immersive game. It's just calling out numbers. No, they may as well, I'm like, why don't y'all make Connect 4 next?

Yeah, every week we would go through, and they kept doing that, of things that they need to... When's the Slinky movie coming out? Right. Exactly. Exactly.

With the Marilyn Manson version of it. Oh, Slinky, oh, Slinky. You can work that in. That'll be the trailer. You get the Marilyn Manson song.

Okay, Marilyn Manson covering the Slinky song. He'd probably do it. He's talking about geeky, you know. He's got his geeky tendency. Yeah, yeah, I like Marilyn Manson.

I do. I liked him more when I realized what a dork he was. When I thought he was being really serious, it was annoying. But then I saw interviews with him, and he's such a nerd. And I was just like, okay, well now.

Now that I realize it's a show, I can kind of get on board with it. It's actually a really great show. And for what the show is, I'm like, yeah, balls. Yeah. Well, it's basically what Lady Gaga.

Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, she took Madonna and Manson and jammed them together, and they were both massively successful in their own right, so it's no wonder she's huge now. Right, yeah, totally. But yeah, Avengers, again, I gave so much credit to Joss for just good character writing. It's just, that makes a difference, you know?

It does. You look at even some of that same series that are a little lesser because he wasn't involved, and they just sort of, skate by on the action and the characters aren't developed but he put a lot of time in and it shows. So yeah well listen if you're not a Josh Whedon fan then there's something. Wrong with you I can get over that. Yeah you know what I mean there's something there's yeah there's no like as soon as somebody goes I didn't get it I'm like.

Shut up oh well I was gonna get you know rounded out here with you you're doing stand up is that something you've kind of done all along or is it something you're returning to or how did it come about the the new wave of stand-up. Well like i said i think you know since i was a teenager i've kind of been out in la and now i've been kind of you know on the movie you know tv world and um it's always one of those things where you know like i said early on i was writing for stand-ups and i just didn't um i sort of never got around the touring thing it just you know and every time i brought it up you know my agent managers would be like, why the fuck would you do that? The stand-ups are trying to do what you're doing.

Had you tried it out before? Open mic kind of stuff? No, not open mic kind of stuff, really. It really was just a function of not having time. It just came to this year and I was just like, I can't put it off anymore.

Also, there's an Enough crazy shit going on that I felt like I don't get to complain about it if I don't talk about it. At least I just promised myself that you don't get the luxury to complain about anything unless you go see it. I'll never forget Buddy White's movie, Kevin Hart's movie came out, Soul Plane, and people were shitting all over it. It was horrible. People were like, oh, what do you think?

I was like, I can't say anything. I haven't seen it yet. So I can't agree with you. I don't know. I haven't seen it.

I went to see it. I was like, I get it. I get you don't like it, but it is what it is. He's not the worst ever. It's not his fault, really.

You can't parody a parody. They're trying to parody Airplane. Which is making fun of its own airport and everything else. Airplane was making fun of a drama. It's making fun of movies from the 40s.

No, Airport 75 and Airport 77. Those super high intense dramatic movies about a plane crashing. So that's what Airplane was doing, was making fun of those movies. So you can't do Austin Powers. Austin Powers is making fun of James Bond.

James Bond takes himself seriously. So you can't parody a parody. It's like a comedy rule. Everybody knows it. It would cancel itself out.

Wouldn't you be back to drama again? Right. You're out to some weird space because there's no anchor. So I'm like, Soul Plane is messed up in its inception. But they offered him a starring role in a movie, so of course he was going to take it.

That's not his fault. So I can't say he's the worst dude ever, and I'm really glad to see what's happening with him now. So for me, it was like, I can't complain about politics and fucking racism and Kim Kardashian and dumb shit. I can't talk about the world that we're living in if I'm not willing to go stand on a stage... And become a part of the conversation.

And, you know, I have a daughter. My daughter is 22 months old. And that was probably the biggest, that's the thing. That's really what made me do it. That pushed it over the head.

Because I realized something, you know, just, I would say, 95 plus percent of everything you've ever heard me say was. Scripted as part of another Those characters don't have anything to do with me. Even if it's stuff you wrote, it's another character. It's another character, so it's not me. So I realized that there is no record.

I was like, man, if something were to happen to me, I have a kid now, there would be no record of anything that in any way relates to who the fuck I am. There's no version of you. Right. It's just you playing other people. There's just me playing other people.

And a lot of my friends that are comedians have a 25-year record of them saying shit they think, and now they're trying to figure out how to do other people's shit. So I sort of. Went like, well, I know how to be me, but no one's ever really met that dude. So I kind of would like to leave that legacy. For my kid.

And since I'm a new parent and my kid's not quite two yet, that's kind of what led me. I think more than anything down the road, I was like, oh, you know, I have this new life and it's made me want to talk about life. And it's also made me see life, uh, in a different way than I've ever seen, you know, life before. Like I'm kind of like, I'm like halfway an adult now. Progress.

Yeah. I made some progress. I'm not claiming full adult ship, but now that I'm halfway an adult, I'm like, man, I should probably talk about some halfway adult shit. So that, that, that was really it. And, um, It's been an incredible experience, man.

I've gotten incredible love, man. Like I really, overwhelmingly so. And it's something I'm, you know, I think, I don't know that I'm going to stop now. It's something I'm really glad I made time for. And I feel really, I genuinely feel blessed and honored when people come out because I know they haven't seen me before.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Not you. So, not me. Yeah.

So, when somebody shows up, you know, pays their money, you know, hard-earned money, particularly in this economy, show up and see you, like, that shit is humbling. You know, for me it is anyway. So I really, I really, I really fucking love it. And I really, I really want, you know, I want to give people, I want them to feel like, yeah, that motherfucker, he was worried. That shit, okay, he put in work.

You know what I mean? Like, and that's a, that's a lot of fun, man. So I'm, I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying, you know, frankly getting to do like what we're doing just vibing with people you know because when you're behind the wall it's kind of like Hollywood's like this other place man they American cars. Ain't no fat people.

You know. It's a whole different world. Yeah, you know, so it's been really great to get and sit, to talk to people like you and in many ways sort of get back in touch, really in close touch with the kid that left Hollywood as a teenager and went out there. Cause I would, I would, I might blow my brains out if I ever lost that dude. Like I, that's my dude, you know, and he likes to sit around and talk about graphic novels and geeky shit.

You know, and then what are you using to record this podcast? Like, you know, like I'm in, I'm in, you know, that's my shit. So it's really kind of dope to, to, to do it, man. So fuck. Thank you.

That's cool. Yeah. Be glad to tell people to go find you. What, what's, I guess you're doing both, as you said. You're shooting movies and stand-up.

Is your website the best place for people to go find schedule or everything? Yeah, right now, if you go to OrlandoJones.com, it'll send you. If you follow me on, you know, subscribe on Facebook or Twitter or whatnot, I mean, I post. I was in a posting frenzy actually earlier today because I was in Louisville and shit just started making me laugh. I'm in the South, so all that.

It's a strange town. I haven't figured out yet. I've been here my whole damn life. Dude, I went crazy on Twitter earlier, uh, in town. I, I admit it.

I'm sorry. I hope I didn't offend nobody. Um, I can probably join in and make fun of plenty of stuff. So, uh, do you guess, I mean, it was one of those situations where I just couldn't, I couldn't resist all of a sudden. I just started posting all kinds of stupid shit.

Um, of which I will share some with you, I think. We can walk down the street and see a giant baseball bat if you want. Yeah, it's crazy what's going on here. Colonel Sanders is buried over here. I can find some good stuff for you.

Gang violence in Kentucky. No Bloods and Crips. Hatfields and McCoys. Both of them have the same gang sign, middle fingers. I just saw the worst dressed gay dude ever.

Obviously gay men in Kentucky do manual labor. Where is Tom Ford when you need him? Let's just see here. I just told the waitress in a vegan restaurant I was vegan. She said, I'm sorry, I don't even ride motorcycles.

Kentucky love. What? That's true. That actually happened. Yeah, it doesn't surprise me.

Here's the best one. I'm walking down the street in Louisville about three hours ago. Bus driver pulls over. Opens the door. Orlando, what you doing walking down the street?

I get on the bus. She takes me to the vegan restaurant that I referenced. I hijacked a bus full of people. I didn't know it. And the people are like, where are we going?

And she's like, sit down. It's Orlando. I got to be at work. What are you doing? I couldn't believe it.

I mean, she went off of her fucking route. I was like, what is going on? So I tweet, hashtag my life, bus driver in Louisville just stopping, asking where I was going. Now I'm pulling up to a vegan restaurant with a bus full of people. You're all getting out and eating.

Come on. Let's go. Which led me to some observations of people on the bus. Where I'm from, if you got buck teeth, you can't get a city job. That's where you're wrong.

Yeah. I don't know where I am in Louisville, but I see a white castle and a pawn shop, so the hood can't be. Far from here. Sliders, man. You can't go wrong with that.

You can't go wrong with that. Well, you can, but you still go eat them, don't you? You do, man. I see why John Calipari's players only stay in college one year. It's against the law to have a bachelor's degree.

Settle down, Wildcats. Settle down. In 2012, we can be relatives or cousins or family, but it's time to stop being kin unless you have cunkles. Cousins slash uncles. And my favorite, and the last of them, I think, they have a drink.

They had a drink in this bar that was in earlier called Hatfields and McCoys. I asked the server what was in it. She said, anything that'll make you fuck your cousins. Oh, Lord. I was like...

Just bringing down stock for the whole city. I was like, what did you just say? See, usually I at least try to pretend like we're a little better in the city here. If you leave the city limits, it's a scary, scary place, and I don't advise anybody to go there. There's pockets of civilization here, I swear to God.

Oh, dude, by the way, I'm sorry. That is just a great response. That is just a top-notch response, so that... There's more coming. There will be more Madness tweeted out.

I'm sure we will give you a lot of material. Don't worry. Oh, it's fun, man. It's really fun. Oh, man.

All right. Well, did you have anything else you need to pass along to anybody? Upcoming projects to look for? Or just come find you and watch the stand-up? Enemies Closer will be out, I guess, next year.

It's a Dark Castle movie, so I guess that's Warner. And my new show on ABC is called How to Live with Your Parents. So that will be next year with Sarah Chalk from Scrubs and Brad Garrett and Melissa Raymond and Elizabeth Perkins from Weeds and myself. So, da-zee, man. Sounds good to me.

Da-zee. Well, I wanted to thank you for sitting in with us this week and co-hosting and telling us your stories. Honestly, man, thank you. Thanks for inviting me. I've had a great time.

Appreciate it. And thank you to the Silback Hilton for letting us crash in this room. Yeah, it's kind of cool, right? Yeah, very nice of them. I'm like, wow, maybe I should move into this room.

That's what I'm saying. This is a nice room. Yeah, just don't tell them. Just move all your stuff. Sleep on the pool house over.

So again, we have an oasis in the middle of the idiocracy here. Yes. There's a nice place somewhere in this mess. You just got to find it. It's good people here, man.

I've met nothing but good people. Definitely. So I'm enjoying Kentucky. There's just some scary stuff going on. But amongst that, there's some good people out there.

Oh, yeah. There's scary stuff going on everywhere, though. Oh, yeah. Trust me. Otherwise, that about does it.

We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening. Movie madness. Sometimes I feel I've got to run away.

I've got to get away from the pain you drive in the heart of me. The love we share seems to go nowhere. I've lost my light. But I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night. Once I ran to you.

Now I run from you. This tainted love you've given. I give you all of what I could give you. Take my tears and that's not nearly how. Tainted love.

Tainted love. No, I've got to run away. I've got to get away. You don't really want any more from me. You make things right.

You need someone to hold you tight. You think love is to play. I'm sorry. Once I ran to you Now I run from you This. Tainted love you give me I give you all of what could give you Take my tears and that's not Don't touch me please.

I cannot stand the way. You see I love you though I hate you so Now I'm gonna pack my things and go Such a baby tainted love Such a baby tainted love Such a baby tainted love Once I ran to you Now I run from you This ain't love you give. And I give you. And it's got some parts in it. I mean, I say some completely outlandish shit in this movie.

I mean, he.... One of the first times I got the gloves off and the director was like, yo, let's go for it. And I got to say stuff like, coach, I look like I jacked off an elephant for a whole movie. They wouldn't let you say that on other movies? No, man.

This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Audity Studios. with opening music performed by the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!