189: HoboCast

I really hate when there's someone playing live music when I'm eating. Near the end and the beginning. Yeah, because you want to talk, and you're like. That's exactly the sound you make. It's like you have to drop it before you go.

Did you see the look on that guy's face pushing two babies? Like, yep, this is my life. Yeah, don't ever have kids. But see, the thing is, that guy, he lives for that little... It's like, thank you, thank you.

Good to be appreciated. You know, I'm here every single night. Five to seven. If you have any requests, just let me know. This upcoming Monday, I'm going to have another friend here.

She's going to be out. She's going to have her lute. Nancy. She's a good friend of mine. We're just going to play any kind of famous...

It'll maybe be like a Russian night. Fans of Russian music. You're like the Bob Ross of. Rambling. Yeah.

You had that calm. Don't be afraid of the rambling now. We're just going to provide vocals for things you can't see. It's a visual gag. You guys at home will appreciate.

This. This is Amy Simons, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. That was me melting down. It's showtime. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America.

It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr. And suits so fine, they made Sinatra look like a hobo.

Way down among Brazilians, coffee beans grow by the billions. So they've got to find those extra cups to fill. They got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian.

I'm Fred. I'm Bo. I'm Marlena. I'm Greg. I'm Ben.

And it's time for another session of the Caffeinated Movie Geek. Cappuccino my butt. I still drink coffee. The last fucking thing you need is another cup of coffee. It's time for Decaffeinated Movie Geek.

We are coming to you live via digital recording from Nancy's Bagel Grounds, where we will get together, drink coffee, talk movies, and make fun of people passing by outside, usually. And with that, we would like to welcome a new recruit slash victim to the show. We would like to welcome Erin. Hi. Hi.

Um, this goes against her better judgment, I suppose, but for quite a while now, you have seemed interested, and I've been trying to, like, keep you at bay. I've been trying to protect you, really. I'm just like, no, no, no. This is like the whole summer of, like, no, you really don't want anything to do. No, it's really, you really better not, no.

And it continued on, and every week, but What are you guys talking about this week? Okay, but you really don't want to... Yeah, it just continued on until finally, like, you just want to be on the show. So, I believe, should we also inform them of your entry level into geekdom so they're not... This seems to be our new thing.

We seem to be taking on, like, projects to turn people into geeks, really. Yeah. After our adventures with Rose, Erin considers herself just a minor geek at this point, so we're trying to school her in the ways of geekdom and bring her up to speed. Our level of, oh, God, we can't leave the house. Or the lack thereof.

Yeah, it's really sad. Is what it is. So this is what you have to aspire to. I can't wait. That's so sad.

Okay. Okay. So, with that, again, being the new victim, Erin, I ask you, what blend of coffee are we drinking this week? We are drinking Pacific Blacktail. Excellent.

I think we're going to keep you around just for that. That is the first good name we've ever had. Quite professional. Unlike everyone else who's ever done it on this show. Insult the company.

Well, it's only when it's Oregon Trail, dudes. Have you been here for Thundermuck? I mean, come on. No, Lucy did Pacific Blacktail once, but she made it sound, like, nasty. And then there was the.

That's Lucy. What's the Himalayan Yak Scat? That's just you. You made that up because you're kind of creepy. Right.

I don't even remember the original coffee that. The best part of waking up is yak scallops in your cup. Yeah, that's really an insult because it came from me. Of all people to call me creepy. That's right.

Take that. Was it Oregon breakfast? Is that what it was? No. All right.

So, it's been a while since several of the people here have actually been on board. So, I figured we probably just ought to let loose the Titans and just let people tell what's been going on for them. And that will probably take over the entire show. So... Do you want me to get mine out of the way and then let you go?

Sure. Okay. Well, I've got two things I was going to mention. Then I've got a movie I can come back to if we haven't, like, I don't want to take up all the time since I've actually been here recently. So, number one, this one, and I just thought it was a funny story because much as we try to do on this show, it sort of has, like, show the ways that the movie world seeps into our real lives and vice versa.

And it's sort of the opposite of what we were just doing last week. Last week, how we were casting the movie of this podcast. I recently sort of did that in reverse. So this will be fun because it's a work story. So I'm at work with a certain co-worker.

And there's this chick who works here that she decided was a mean girl. And from that, we decided that our situation was very similar to mean girls. So then we started casting real life around that. So the mean girl in question was obviously the Regina George. I know who you are.

Wait, wait. That's where I'm going. Then she's got a pseudo-Tody that we decided is sort of a mixture between Seafree and Chalbert. She's kind of like both in her own weird way. There's another one who could be the low hand of the story.

She sort of was innocent when she came in, and then working around us, we totally... Just beat that out of her. So, you know, it comes around just like in the movie. But this was my favorite part, was midway into this, I was like, so if we're following suit, I guess that makes me the Janice Ian of this world. And my favorite part is she just sort of laughed and agreed.

There was no questioning that I was obviously the Janice Ian. Yeah, totally. I don't know. I just thought that was funny. I am the Janice Ian of this world.

Lizzie Kaplan is babe, so. I'm not going to argue that because Lizzie Kaplan's hot. Which one is she? The reject. The reject, oh.

The square peg, if ever there was one. Wasn't she in that show, The Pits? Yes. One of my favorite, maybe you'll get six episodes on Fox shows. They canceled that real fast.

Not that Fox ever does that with a show. Right. So the only other thing that, again, these are sort of like side movie related, but this one, just to point out, If other people weren't aware of this, I felt it was my geek duty to get out there and make sure everybody's aware of the new series of Legos. Have you seen the Monster Fighters? I have.

Yes. They're awesome. Thank you. I can't fight it. It's ridiculous.

So if you're a super geek and you like Legos, if you're a super geek and you like monsters, or any mixture of the two. So, yeah, basically they're doing classic movie monsters in Lego form. And they're hitting all. I mean, there's a werewolf. There's a Dracula.

There's a Frankenstein lab. I'm still waiting. The big money is somewhere down the line. In the next month or so, they're coming out with a full haunted house. Yeah, the haunted house is astounding looking.

It's probably going to be like $. 500, though. I don't think. It's that much. Legos are expensive.

Legos are expensive. Probably pound for pound, it's more than gold. Probably, since there's no real weight to them. And they cost a damn fortune. So if nothing else, people should save money.

They've also done the Lord of the Rings ones, too, that have just come out, which, you know, some of those are admittedly kind of cool, too. I mean, I got some of the monster ones and some of the Lord of the Rings ones, and I hadn't bought Legos in years. But I was like, you know, for the surgery that I'm going to have, I know I'm going to be doped up afterwards. And that's seriously how I spent, like, the first couple of days coming out of anesthesia was just building Legos with this very childlike, you know, just awe of what I was constructing and watching movies and then suddenly like it's mid-August. It's a good time.

So yeah, if nothing else, I thought I'd make sure everyone was aware. Go out, seek them out. Cause yeah, monsters, Legos, it's all good mixture there. So, uh, I can come back if we've got time for a movie, but I'll, I'll let you guys go at it. So who wants to be next?

I've been reviewing the sight and sound top 10 revision, uh, this past week and just kind of reflecting on it. Um, I didn't know what you guys thought about like the whole quote unquote controversy of vertigo dethroning citizen Kane, but I, for one could give a shit. I think both movies are great. So it's not really like, yeah, it's, it's, you can't quantify that. So I just, I'm just, I have been reading these long extensive out, like these critics who like, I like, they're just, they're outraged.

Like how could you disrespect vertigo? And it's, I don't know, these thousand-word-long... It doesn't seem worth it. I don't know. I don't know.

Just watch the movie. That's odd. They both seem like flawed masterpieces to me. A couple years ago, Empire Magazine did a very, very cool poll to where they did the top 500 films of all time. Did you ever see that?

And the way they did it was they actually sent out just ballots to... 10,000 of their readers and film directors and screenwriters and critics all over the world and just the ballot simply said write down your top 10 favorite movies and that was it and they just took all these write-in ballots and just totaled them up and so it's a very eclectic list because I mean you have like Kurosawa films that are mixed in with like Dark Knight I mean it's a very offbeat list but on that one the number one that they had was The Godfather and I could kind of see that one as well because Citizen Kane, I think, was in the 20s on that list. And to me, like, an eclectic, like, movie list is the only list worth having.

I mean, if you're just going to have the same old, same old, like, Citizen Kane, Sergers, 8 1⁄2, like, it's, those movies are awesome, but just, you know, it doesn't seem to be starting conversation about anything, I guess. That's what I thought was kind of cool about that list, because you were just going out and asking so many regular people what they thought. It was more of a, general consensus list versus something that was made by elitist critics or anything else like that. I think what you get out of that list is when you say favorites and not the best, then you get into people, because if you were told me, if I were told to list the best 10 films of all time, I would have to sit down and think, what would I have to put on this list in order to be considered valid? by anyone that really cared to read it.

And so I would have to put five films in that I may not care. I may consider them a masterpiece, but I may not care whether or not I ever watch it again. And so therefore, if it's favorite, it really goes on a personal opinion. That's a very different list. I think that's a more pure list.

Yeah, I think the exact phrase they had on the ballot was, list your top ten personal movies, I think is what it was. So, I mean, it sort of made it ambiguous as to, is this favorites? Is this top ten best films I've ever seen, like me personally? Well, you know, there's no right answer to it. But in things where there is a right answer, they say that experts are not as good at coming up with a right answer as a crowd.

If the crowd is under the right conditions, it's like it can't have, like a cascade where everybody just says what everybody else says. Everybody has to be free to voice their opinion, and it's better if it's diverse. And then, like, if they're going to guess how many jelly beans are in a jar, the crowd is always going to come up with a better answer than experts on jelly beans. In jars or whatever. I don't know who would be an expert on that.

Kirsten Dunst and Melancholia, sorry. Yeah, there's that. There's that book, The Wisdom of Crowds, and the guy goes around with this theory, which goes back to Scottish philosophers or something. But he says every time he tries to do it live, he thinks it won't work. Like he tries to have radio call in people, like, guess how many books are in his study.

And every time it works, the crowd has a better answer than, I don't know. Experts on how many books he has. People that have been to his studies. I don't know who the experts are in that field. It also makes sense, though, for doing something like that for films, because films are designed for a crowd and audience.

Well, I think most of those lists are just made... For people to fight on the internet. Like anything. At this point, yes. It's all about fighting on the internet.

They just make their own personal top ten and post it somewhere so that people will. Argue with them. That's totally right. I was going to say, in every single response article I've read, there's always been like, well, here's what I think. And there's their own top ten.

And I was like, you know what? I think that's a good thing that it had that reaction. Not like, yes, I agree. Well done. Fighting on the internet is fun, man.

It's like a full-time job. But as long as you don't put any merit behind it, and I think that's the problem with this list, is they actually act like it means something. It's a list like everybody else's list. That's why I don't understand why they need to be numbered. If you can just group 10 together, because then nobody fights.

I can't believe this was an 11. That's a lot more rare than, why is this number 1 and this number 3? Yeah. Yeah, the whole idea of a winner in the arts is always ridiculous. It is.

First place. Except for the AFI. They believe that theirs is the holy grail of lists. Yeah. The top 100.

I'm not, yeah, I don't agree with AFI. First, I mean, just the very fact that it's elitist and it's just American films only. Right. Yeah. That's the way we are.

It can only be American. Well, that's the thing that's funny about that list is it's also like it shows you how much things change. Well, even with the AFI, they change it every 10 years. But like people hated Vertigo. Like when it came out, nobody cared about it.

Yeah, it didn't show up on any list until like the late 70s or something. Later than that. It was like the 90s. It's like when they restored it, all of a sudden they went, oh, wow, this is a masterpiece. And like nobody seemed to care before that.

Well, it has problems, you know. It has some issues. It does. It is kind of like, I don't want to say bad. bloated that's the wrong word but it's like. And fractured it is right it's.

Very fractured and it doesn't like and it hinges. Largely on coincidence working too that's the other thing and. It's not yeah sorry it's not like pound for pound entertaining as like north by north northwest or something. You know or rear window yes that's pretty solid yeah yeah that's pretty dapper. Sorry, I got distracted.

He had suspenders on. I'm going to look. Sorry, I was waiting for somebody. As I said, making fun of people out the window. He smiled at us.

He knew that something was going down. He smiled at me. He smiled at me. All the posters for Vertigo say, you have to watch it from the beginning, but I really only watched it from the middle to the end. Damn it.

Hitchcock is talking to you personally. I know. This is the same thing. Why would a movie even bother to tell you You have to watch it from the beginning. They did that with Psycho as well.

They said, you have to watch this. I think it's just, I mean, you know better than anybody, I guess. Do they just let random people in the theaters now when it's halfway over? Because it seems like in the old days, they'd just be, whatever, wander on in. Speaking, no.

I always tell the staff, right about at the 20-minute mark, that's stop letting people in. Because that's about.... The preview is about 10 minutes, and then 10 minutes into the movie itself, it's like, after that, I'm not concerned about that person going in and missing what's going on. I just think it's a distraction to the other people. Who are already in it.

And you could almost catch up 10 minutes in, but if you're like, you know, half an hour, what's the point at that point? It just depends on what movie it is, too. If it's Jackass 3D, Vertigo, then no. It says on the movie. I think that should be the rule, damn it.

If you can't get there within a reasonable amount of time, you stay out in the lobby. Wait around for an hour and a half. You'll be fine. I'll have to watch it from the beginning. I would hope so.

I'm not going to diss other competing theaters, but they do have the bad habit of putting 20 to 30 minutes previews on stuff, and that. Makes other people. They assume we do the same. That's always kind of the. I've honestly, in some theaters, forgotten what movie I was going to see during that.

That has happened to me, too. That sounds like a joke, but no, it gets that bad. You're like, what's about to start? Oh, yeah. Seven previews later, you're like, wait, what?

Somebody came in and threw a handful of glitter in my eyes, and now I'm like, wait, what? But speaking of Hitchcock and upcoming films, Segway. Look at that Segway. I know. Is there someone on the street?

Has anyone seen the shot of Anthony Hopkins circulating online? I have, and it's kind of... disturbing in a way. There's two parts of my brain that don't want to mesh. It's like Sir Anthony Hopkins and that image of Hitchcock, and they're two totally different looking people, but in the same... I don't know.

It's weird. Whatever he's going to be in, I'll watch it and I'll be like, I can't get used to this. And I'll have to you know what it's gonna be like it's gonna be like Nixon and. Exactly what it's. Like impression of Nixon that people did that was like not really anything like Nixon yeah you know when people started doing Nixon oh or Ed Sullivan is an even better one like they started doing an impression of Ed Sullivan and And it had.

Nothing to do with Ed Sullivan. He didn't say that. He didn't do that. But everybody just accepted it. Oh, that's a new Ed Sullivan that we have created who goes around saying a really big show.

As long as everybody knows who it is you're doing, it works. Yeah. So that's what it's going to be. He's going to create. A Hitchcock that has never existed before.

He didn't go really heavy on the trying to be Nixon. He just sort of got the makeup on and tried to do what he wanted. I gave him credit for not doing a bad impression of him. He just sort of did his thing. Anthony Hopkins kind of thing.

See, the trick on any of those movies is always getting beyond the barrier of sitting there and thinking, wow, Anthony Hopkins is doing a good job doing Hitchcock to actually just feeling like you're watching Hitchcock. And in those cases, I would feel almost like it's better to go with a semi-unknown. Yeah. It does make it more difficult to get past who it is. I feel like Philip Seymour Hoffman's probably the best character actor.

Anytime he plays someone else, I just totally buy it. I forget that he's not. There's that weird guy in real life. Well, Capote, I didn't really know. I had seen him in other movies before that, but I didn't know him as an actor.

That's how I was like, oh, that's who Capote... I haven't seen that much footage of him in real life or anything. I met him. Really? Wow.

There's a story there. I rode to one of his talks, and for some reason, my parents put me in the back seat with him. All right. Continue on. First John Carpenter, let's just leave you with these just obscure celebrities.

He put his hand on my thigh. Really weird. He went and gave this talk, and he told a story, like the moral quandary of a guy who's out on a date, and he's bouncing a ball. And he bounces the ball out the window and the dog jumps after it. And so what does he do?

Does he tell the woman when she comes back in the room that your dog just leapt to his death? Or does he go out on the date and then later go, oh, Ann, by the way. And I thought he was a comedian. You know, the whole night he was hilarious and I just thought he was a comedian. Who's that weird guy we went to?

Yeah. Yeah. Philip Seymour Hoffman. I don't buy him as himself. That always seems affected.

I would get somebody else to play Philip Seymour Hoffman. I do want to see the master though. I mean, that looks like it's going to be pretty intriguing. Yeah. I, I, I think that's going to be, I still have, I don't know.

Phoenix is, uh, I don't know something about him after the whole, I'm still here thing. Uh, right. I, I can't hardly look at him anymore. I tried to watch that movie. I got most of the way through it.

And I became physically ill with him, I think. I don't know. That pretty much killed his career. I think so. And so maybe this is, I mean, what a great director.

Yeah, what a great director to start back up with. The way they're building this movie up, it's, I mean, they're just like, Oscar, Oscar. Like, just great director, you know, has all the actors. It's going to be good. Which is funny because for the better part, I mean, he was overlooked quite a bit until There Will Be Blood.

Because, I mean, Punch Drunk Love and Boogie Nights and Magnolia, they did receive acclaim, but all three of them I felt like developed more of a following after they came out, more of an appreciation afterwards versus at the time. That's true. Well, Punch Drunk Love, I think, was hindered by Adam Sandler. There's a lot of perception that goes along with him. Well, I think that was the whole problem with that movie is you have two camps.

You have the camp that love Adam Sandler movies, and they went in to see that, and it's not the typical Adam Sandler movie. And then there's the camp that doesn't like Adam Sandler movies that didn't want to go see it because he was in it. But for me, I feel like it's actually a really good performance for him because, I mean, I've seen very few of his comedies because I don't find him that funny. And when I was watching. That movie and the more I've seen it, I feel like okay, that character that he's playing in Punch Drunk Love, it's like, what if you took the typical Adam Sandler character from all of his other comedies and dropped him in the real world?

And suddenly you realize. That he's very pathetic. It's not as funny. Yeah, it is sad. Yeah, it's very sad.

People are like, what's wrong with you, man? And any time you put a Louise Guzman in a movie, it's a great movie. That's my other take on it. Yeah, no, I am looking forward to The Master. I think that's probably one of the ones of this year that I'm looking forward to the most.

Samsara is the other big one I'm looking forward to because I think that's just going to look gorgeous on the big screen. Well, I just was going to add that the sight and sound, it's interesting about the sight and sound, like top ten, is that I thought that people would be surprised by how much silent movie love that this particular list had. Yeah. And I thought that would be talked about, but instead, no, it's just the old, age-old, Citizen Kane is better than Burton. I was like, I've heard this before.

I think it's interesting. They had Passionate Joan of Arc and Sunrise and Man with a Movie Camera. I'm like, wow, those are interesting choices. That should be talked about. I almost feel like, to an extent, they dethroned Citizen Kane so people would pay attention to it.

Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, controversy, look at our list. Yeah, that's like Bernard Shaw said when he started writing about Shakespeare and he made fun of Shakespeare and belittled Shakespeare and compared himself favorably to Shakespeare. But he said when he started writing about Shakespeare, everybody in England went to see Shakespeare maybe once a year to say they did. But when he finished writing about him, everybody was going.

To Shakespeare all the time. Because he stirred up interest in it. So I don't know. Maybe it's like that. It obviously worked because everybody's heard that going on.

I think in the last month we've all seen, if you're just constantly talking about something, people are like, oh, yeah. You know, like with the whole Chick-fil-A thing, regardless of people's opinions on Chick-fil-A, they're like, oh, yeah, Chick-fil-A, that actually sounds kind of good. See, yeah, that's what I was... Yeah, on that one, I'm like, good or bad, that's probably more press than they've ever had. You know there's going to be some kind of documentary about this coming out.

Yeah. I mean, you know, like, you can talk about how disgusting something is or how bad it is or... anything, and you're talking about it, and people are going to be like, oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, if you keep saying you never go ass-to-mouth, pretty soon people are going to be going ass-to-mouth. It's going to become a thing, isn't it? I've got to see what this is about.

You know what I keep hearing about. Welcome to the show, Aaron. Yes. This is how we roll. So, do we want to move on?

On that note, would you like to throw yours out? My mom's not listening now. My movie, I was going to say my... Geeking out was really boring this time. It's like, the sight and sound was not the...

Usually I have something more excited to rant about. Yeah, I was going to defer entirely. I've been watching Breaking Bad one after another. So you listen to them. I'm missing out.

I do enjoy it, but I don't know if I would rank it up there with the. Sopranos? With the Sopranos or The Wire or even Deadwood. I'd It's very plot-driven. I'm not sure I quite agree about the quality of the acting and writing all the time.

Sometimes it feels a little bit like they only have time to do so much. Right. You're reminded it's a TV show. Yeah. It has that formula.

Yeah, sometimes it feels like, you know, it's still TV. That's the thing about Sopranos. There's no, I mean, maybe, that could be, you could make an argument that that's all due to commercials, really. That you have to structure it around a commercial break and a cliffhanger. And Sopranos didn't have to worry about that.

So there wasn't like, like in Lost, like, we're going to blow up the hatch. Boom. Like that kind of deal. You didn't have to worry about that kind of stuff. I remember seeing like footage of them rehearsing a scene for the Sopranos and it looked like such crap.

Like really? Yeah. And it's like, well, how do they shoot it? So it always looks good and it's intriguing and, and you know, it's always like picking out like the stuff you want to see. Yeah.

Because like just from another camera there when like, I don't know, Meadow wrecks her car or something. This looks like some crappy TV show. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. I guess they just really work that hard to make sure that what comes before our faces is exactly what's going to keep our interest. I don't know. I've been watching a lot of Breaking Bad, too. It was just now released last season, so I can watch it because I won't pay for cable.

And it's almost starting to feel just redundant. Like, we're not really progressing anything. We're just going to, oh, I know where this entire season's going. I can probably tell you how they're plotting it out. Like they're stretching it out.

Yeah. And I keep, you know, there's a certain amount of suspension of disbelief that you can have with a show. And maybe when you're watching it all compressed like I do, so I don't have to wait a week or two weeks to see it, But you're like, there's no way that any of these people would let this guy live. There's no way that, you know, it just seems like it, I don't know. And, yeah, there are maybe two or three actors on this show that I am impressed with their abilities.

The rest, I'm like, eh, it could be a soap opera. Yeah. Well, that guy Tuco, he was a horrible actor. I'm glad he died. Hey, some people have it.

He was a terrible actor. Was he the one with the accent and he was real stoic? He was the guy with the grill early on. He was like their first distributor guy. Okay.

Some shows just aren't made to be watched. I mean, again, it goes back to the way they used to run shows when there was no other option. You had to wait until next week so they could structure them however they wanted. But now that you've got that option of just streamlining it, running them all together, I think there are shows that suffer from that. And you start to see...

Because I know I heard somebody make this, if you watch House on a through line for the whole season, it's the same show every week. It's the same situation. It's the same structure that they have in every episode. And from week to week, you don't really notice that much. I mean, yeah, it's familiar, but it's like, if you sit there and watch four of them in a row, you're like, why did I just watch these four shows?

Yeah. There are some that are so structure-oriented, like any procedural kind of thing. I think those will suffer. If it's a big, arcing storyline, I don't think it hurts it so much. But there's some stuff that's still made to be watched like it's in the 50s.

See you next week, we'll be here. I think it's just the new media kind of thing. In a way, I think it's the thematic elements. I love Deadwood, but what it's really interested in It's just how these random self-interested scum of the earth people begin to form like a society and begin to even like hating each other. They build a kind of community.

And I think that's got a shelf life. I mean, eventually, it's not really the same show. I hate to say it. It may be for the best that it didn't keep rolling on because... After a while, it's not really the same thing.

I think most shows have a limited run. I mean, once you go past four or five years, it's like you really need to reevaluate. Yeah. Yeah, but Sopranos was just. I thought.

Yeah, that was amazing how long they went. Late in the game, and then they'd still be just right on the heart of the show. Yeah, they never felt like... Nothing felt stretched out, and it never felt like a conscious writer's like, oh, we have to keep this going forever. like it was just it was just the characters like you were just watching the characters in this like like free fall in real time just yeah I don't know it was they just did it really well uh. Yeah yeah I might go back and watch that all.

Over again yeah well I had one of my most pleasurable movie experiences in a long time not too long ago wait I thought we weren't supposed to talk about those kind of movies no it wasn't like a Fred Willard sort of pleasurable movie experience uh But, I mean, I'm going to go ahead before I even say the title of the movie, because I realize it will probably, like, you know, come under fire. I'll preface it with saying it was the first film I watched post-surgery, so the anesthetic was still wearing off. I don't think we outed you on last episode, so if you need to give people, you know, the fact that you were just having surgery done. Yeah, I just had knee surgery because I was rock climbing, and my spine...

I had a fellow that was about half my weight who wanted to belay me. And I said, are you sure that you're heavy enough to do that? And he's like, I've got upper body strength. I was like, all right. It didn't work out too well.

But anyway, it was the first post-surgery film I was watching. And as I was watching it, I just had tears in my eyes thinking, I'm like, God, this is so beautiful. I was just completely. Awestruck by it. And I didn't even remember how much I was even taken aback by it until the next morning.

I got all these texts from friends. I was doing a constant text update about the film. I was just like, this movie is blowing my mind. It is just. Why is our world no longer like this?

People should not be allowed to text or tweet while drugged up. And the film that I'm referring to is Saturday Night Fever. Of course. Wow. I was hoping you'd say Porky's or something.

I was hoping it was an earnest movie. That really was kind of a good movie in a way. I remember just like during the whole disco sequences, I mean, I sent out texts to friends that said, the text was like, you know, it's blowing my mind watching John Travolta dance. Why did this die? Why is this not in our society anymore?

And it's just, I sent it out to like blanket 20. 30 people. And they were like, what the hell is wrong with you? Oh, medication. But it was like, you know, they were, what town was that set in?

It was like a little industrial town. It was dying and nobody had any money or any future. And then they'd put on their big suits with the big lapels and go out and dance. I mean, it was almost like Rebel Without a Cause, but with disco. Yeah, it was, kind of.

It's funny. And then I re-watched it a few days later. And I was like, I still stand by it. I like this movie. I think it's one of those that gain respect over the years.

I never saw it when it came out, but then a friend of mine actually told me, yeah, that was a really pretty good movie, and I went and saw it maybe like last year. Hmm. And then also what's unexpectedly good was Samurai Night Fever. If you saw John Belushi's masterpiece. It really was.

Because you could follow the movie and you got the whole sense of the. the world they lived in, just from the grunts that he made as a samurai. You really did. It kind of worked. It said everything you needed to know about his world and his life. Prior to that, it's like I'd never realized how beautiful the late 70s were.

Because they're usually presented so lovely on TV. You know, that's the kind of movie... I don't think I ever saw the original Rocky until I'd seen maybe Rocky 4. You know, 2, 3, and 4. And I had this perception of what Rocky 1 was going to be like, or Rocky.

It's completely different. It's completely different. And you're like, oh, this is a good movie. It's like a real movie. Before it became a franchise.

It was an actual movie. It was completely... It was almost the difference between... Halloween 1 and 2 and Halloween 3. Or even the.

Rambo movies too, comparing any of them to First Blood. To the First Blood, right. And going back and watching, basically the difference in watching Rocky as an adult, you're like, this is a really well shot and well written movie. It just wouldn't even have to be about boxing, is the other. Part of it.

It could be about anything and it would still work. Well, maybe not anything. Except maybe playing upright bass. I don't think you can do it. Right when you said that, he like, okay, I thought he was getting off.

He's like, I'm done. They won't quit talking about it. I will play bass no more forever. Ryan's just wishing we would actually pay attention to the show. Since we're talking about it.

Going back to 70s, late 70s movies and like that grimy just look. It's the feel of Taxi Driver. Yeah, even the great ones, like just kind of like you'll never, like I will never say, as much as I love those movies, I will never say, wow, that, Sidney Lumet movie felt like a painting. It was just... It's not...

They just all had that kind of garbage, pale, I don't know what. See, when I saw American Beauty, I had read a review of it and about what a different kind of movie it was, and then they mentioned. The bag blowing... And I was so disappointed when I saw it because I wanted. It to be trash.

I wanted it to be garbage, and for him to see that that was somehow... like the 70s, right? That would have been more devastating, like an emotional of a moment to him just realized, no, that's it. There's nothing to it. There's no hope. I don't know.

The review gave me the impression of such a great movie that I was really disappointed when I saw it because it's like, no, that Well, you know, if you read really well-written reviews, then by the time you see the movie, it's like. Oh, yeah, I remember that. I enjoyed it. Then you go see it, and it's like, oh, this is a different movie than the impression I had. That's why I don't... think it's a good idea to read reviews.

Definitely not beforehand. Especially these days. Critics don't even care about spoiling things anymore. But even if they don't spoil it, it sets you up with their impression of what you're going to see versus just letting you have your own. Then after the fact, you could read it and be like, well, no, I think you're wrong here, or I agree with you here, but... yeah, I think beforehand seems kind of stupid in my opinion.

I don't like reading them after either because I've already formed my opinion on what I thought and I, how dare they try to convince me otherwise. Well, that's the geek thing though. We like to disagree with you. I do enjoy disagreeing. I, you know, you speak of the paper bag, um, plastic bag you're right it was paper or plastic yeah plastic that was uh be careful was it not another teen movie that the kid was filming the the bag floating around and I just remember um it was back I think I that was on I was watching we had one of the free channels or something like that for a while right after I mean the first kid was born and you know you're up late with a kid and so there you're trying to get him to sleep you watch a movie so I watched not another I think it was not another teen movie And I knew it was coming on again, like on the West Coast feed or something like that.

And I was like, I've got to watch that again just for that little moment. Because it was such a good job of spoofing that movie. Yeah. You saw how... stupid of a moment that was. That movie just so deserves to get made fun of.

It's just like it's pressing the buttons. It's like you will think this is cool and interesting and artistic. Well, I did think it was sort of manipulative like that, and it's basically the movie that Hollywood has been making for artistic types over and over since Cuckoo's Nest. It's like you take a repressed community... You bring in.

A character who's sort of like a wild. Card, and he liberates. And they've done that over and over. They've done that with the asylum and then Dead Poets Society. Dead Poets Society might be the worst of that.

Even foreign films like Babette's Feast. But there are a bunch of movies that's like that. And so in this one, it's like a suburban guy and a pot dealer. It's basically become a Hollywood formula film now, and some of them are better than others, but I'm always aware that, oh, this is the movie they make for people who think they're different and artsy. It's also the, you know, what is it, like the stand-by-me kind of formula, too, where you have the downtrodden school and Morgan Freeman comes in.

And, Ah. Wakes them up. It goes all the way back to, like, Blackboard Jungle. You're right. The music in you.

Let's not stand by me, though. Lean on me. Lean on me. Yeah. Well, you know.

Morgan Freeman. Yeah. Morgan's in me. Yeah, Stan by me and Morgan Freeman. He's the narrator.

Him and Richard Dreyfuss took turns. No, he's the fat kid in Stan by me. He grew up to be Morgan Freeman. Can you believe that? And he married the supermodel?

And he married his granddaughter. Anyway. But it's just like, that movie is just saying, oh, the suburbs are really weird. Isn't that crazy? I'm...

Again, going back, I'll watch Blue Velvet for that kind of thing. That movie is awesome. Speaking of the 70s, haven't they been doing that since the 70s? It all goes back to Blue Velvet. What's-his-name is really good in it, though.

Kevin Spacey? Yeah, and Thora Birch. She ought to be doing more stuff, I don't know. I love Thora Birch. Annette Bening does a fantastic job.

Of being gross. Which is usually what she does. I can't think of a role she's been in that I've liked her character. Yeah, she's hard to like. She made a really good butch lesbian in that one movie.

Oh, yeah. The kids are all right. Yeah, she was kind of, I guess that's probably her most likable role. When she got onto the Joni Mitchell thing, I'm like, I'm right with you. I didn't actually watch the movie, but I saw a preview, and I.

Was like, yeah, totally. I can see where she'd be awesome in this. All right. The question is, did you watch the preview from the beginning? I read a full review.

Of it, and I thought, Like, I know that movie. I'm on board. I'm on board, yeah. I get this movie. You have to watch it from the middle.

And that is. Though that also could rope into the suburbs are weird sort of theme, too, with that movie. I got the Clips notes. Yeah. And, you know, Mary Poppins, you have to cut that off at, like, Feed the Birds.

And then it's just excellent. If you want to scar your child for life, sure, go ahead. That's how I was raised. It's... I don't know.

Weird experience. Yeah. Just sad note to end that movie on. You could cut that movie off where they're lost in the alleyways and they're picked up by the chimney sweeps. I mean, that's a real upbeat moment to leave off as well.

Very frightening, actually. And it's also weird noticing how, like, Dick Van Dyke, his British accent is horrible in that movie. Did he ever apologize to the British for that? He should have. He should have written, like, a giant letter.

Oh, that's great. Okay, I think that's... We're always looking for a nice theme. I think we need to have an entire episode of where we all come up with what would happen if we ended a movie at this point. Yeah, right.

And then just do our own cuttings of movies. Like my daughter was asking the other day, she said, is there a movie like John Tucker Must Die where they don't get together and he just dies? That would be a good movie. It's called I Know What You Did Last Summer. Yes.

The crying game just ended right, you know, when he just gets with the woman at the bar and it's like, oh, this is a nice, you know, he's IRA, but he gets a second chance. It's nice. Nothing bad or crazy is going to happen. This is one of those hookups. This ended on a good note.

It's like Pootie Tang. Actually, I don't know what Pootie Tang is. Your gaffer friends will be like, she was really hot. I was like, dude, watch the rest of the movie. Just watch what you say.

I still wonder why Pootie Tang doesn't work, but Black Dynamite does. Because Black Dynamite kicks ass. I know. I still say there's enough in Poodie Tang that's just as good. It was entertaining.

I don't know about just as good. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. It feels like a really long, short film. I don't know why.

It just does. It has some crazy moments that are hilarious, and then it just drags out in these weird stretches that does not make sense. You can tell a lot of it was just cut to pieces. I think the difference is, and we need to get really analytical about Poodie Tang. I think the difference is that, again, it almost comes off a little more slapstick-y.

It's almost a little more in the Spartans camp, where Black Dynamite is almost like legit. I mean, those guys love those movies, and they're doing a good version of those movies. Now, granted, at the same time, they know what's silly about them, and they're kind of tweaking that a little and making fun of it, but... It just works as an actual movie where Booty Tank has to be making fun of us. That's what I think works so well about those films.

Anytime you do a parody, especially if you're doing it about stuff like that, I mean, you can't have the characters winking at the audience too much because what's endearing about those movies is you have these stars who are just trying their damnedest to do the best of what they have with the material, even though it's just, you know, complete crap half the time. Yeah. But, you know, you have these people who get up and they'll make a legitimate attempt to sell the material and then you go back and you watch it 20, 30 years later and it's laughable and that's why when you, anytime I watch parodies, I'm like, this one worked, this one didn't, is, are the characters trying to sell it? If they're trying to sell it, I think usually then it becomes hilarious.

But, I mean, if they're, You know, like all the scary movie stuff. I mean, it's just like, no, that doesn't work for me because it's just too many winks at the audience. It's just, I can't, you keep breaking the fourth wall. I can't focus. One movie I thought that did that very well was Lost Skeleton of Cadavera.

Oh, God, I love that. Any of the Larry Blamire stuff is just gold. Climb down these rocks like I do. Dangling skeleton going. I mean, he made the second, did you ever see the sequel?

I saw scenes from the sequel, and they look just as funny. Apparently, he's making a third now. Oh, wow. More cartoon. I hope he makes ten.

I don't own that, but I want it just so that I can say, here, just watch this. Just take it, watch it. You don't even have to say anything. I just want to know that you watched it. Only to the right people.

Right. It wouldn't work forever. There's just some movies that are so weird and outlandish that I just want to show them to my friends who don't care for movies. Just to make them watch. I made you sit through this weird movie.

You can never get that out of your head. And that just gives me kind of a weird, sick pleasure. Like showing people How Sue who just don't care for watching any kind of movie. How Sue is so awesome. It's like dog tooth.

You can never not watch that. Once you've seen it, you've seen it. That is so true. No, I've seen it. Or Zardoz.

It goes back to some episodes ago. It's another one to where it's just get somebody to watch this and let it blow their mind. I still think about Zardoz. I might even go as far as to say I think about it every day. Every day I wake up.

Praise Zardoz. It is another day. The image of that stone head is just so iconic and powerful. It's pretty awesome. Yes.

I'm telling you. I'm getting one for the backyard. I can't hear the word tabernacle without laughing. That's for sure. You automatically go, whoa!

I will not go to the second level with you! Best part. Too late to feel sorrow. Too late to feel pain. He's just an old boy.

And he's lost out in the rain. He never caused. Trouble, so don't have no fear. He's just an old boy, and he'll soon be far away from here. He used to be a family man.

Yes, folks, it's intermission time. So how about taking a. Break, get out and stretch a little, and relax before the show begins again. Spread the word, you dirty cocksuckers. Tell all your grave-riding friends what the matter is.

Yeah! Hobo with a shotgun. The streets gave birth to a stray dog who is now fed up. Living on the streets is tough. And it's about to get tougher.

Violent, cruelty, murder. The streets will be lonelier because this hobo's taken on. He's cashing in his nickels and dimes for a new way of life. But getting out isn't that easy. This hero is going to have to deliver justice one shell at a time.

I'm going to sleep in your bloody carcasses tonight. Hobo with a shotgun he's pissed. Tell me the god damn pastures and he wants answers I want that. Hobo's head on my wall tonight and whoever brings it to me gets all my friends. It will only be one.

Law here. David brought cabs. Who's taking a car out of the hill? You're wearing shotguns. Hobo with a shotgun.

Rated R. Are you tired of film podcasts where the hosts exist in a constant blissful state of agreement? I mean, the main characters are two of the dullest main characters I have ever encountered in any film. Well, you're in luck. That means you choose a chin-stroker and punter.

One is an ex-film. Student with a penchant for David Lynch and art cinema. The other is a man on the street. Listen in perplexed and horrified terror as we tear apart one film a week. It just really isn't.

It's not visually striking. No. Just getting confirmation. Interesting. That's the third time, though.

I mean, is this on? You can find us at csvsp.libson.com. So come and share the victory. If you could fuck any man in film, who would it be and why? My answer is Lance Henriksen.

He wouldn't tell. He looks like some. He looks like somebody you can keep a secret. Tweaked audio your source for high performance noise reducing earbuds available in three styles and seven colors durable and designed to sound great for both music and those chatty podcasts like the one you're listening to now picked audio earbuds come with a one-year warranty and now there's a special deal for movie meltdown listeners Just go to tweakedaudio.com, and when you check out, enter the discount code MELTDOWN. Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping.

Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. Hi, this is Larry Blamire, also known as Dr. Paul Armstrong, doing science for Movie Meltdown. What's part of your problem?

You know, you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. There's a voice that keeps. On calling me.

Down the road, it's where I'll always be. Every stop I make, I make a new friend. Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again. Maybe tomorrow, I'll want. To settle down.

Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on. Down this road that never seems to end. When you adventure, rise just around the bend. So if you. Want to join me for a.

While, just grab your hat and come travel like that's hobo style. Is that Joe Rivers? I should face everyone away from Moira. What are we going to talk about? I so wish we had a fucking.

We should just make that like a joke. Like, is that so-and-so celebrity? And then like a couple seconds later, someone will just start doing an impersonation of that celebrity like they just came in and sat down. Let's not. But the impersonation is the one at the table that is worst at it.

Yeah, it has to be just like me. It has to be awful. Fred, you're Joan Rivers. Go. Hi, I'm Joan Rivers.

That's magic. I'm going to say some snarky stuff here in a minute. It's like she's in the room with him. Can you believe what she's wearing? I'm doing this.

My daughter creepily looks a lot like me. He's fat. His dad's just like, don't make faces at those people. Crazy kid. Get off my lawn.

He's going to be making fun of geeks later in life, isn't he? I think we planted the scene. Even as a toddler, I was making faces at movie geeks. He won't even know why. He'll be like, Dad, I want a microphone.

If we were really movie geeky enough, we would have recreated the scene from Jaws at that moment, just where we're trying to do the serious faces with that toddler. Try to mimic him as he's mimicking us. Yeah, that's funny. I thought maybe you meant drunkenly singing Show Me the Way to Go Home. That's how they all end.

I've got a bum leg that I can drink to now. I'm just waiting for somebody else to do it. Just to end Jaws on Show Me the Way to Go Home. It's like, oh, they're drunk. On this shit.

And they never found the shark. No one died. It's all good. They lived happily ever after. They live on his boat forever and just sing merry tunes.

Props to Piranha, the remake, where they actually had that sequence at the beginning with Dreyfuss dressed in the hooper outfit singing Show Me the Road to Go Home while he's fishing. Pretty clever on their part for a silly-ass movie. That was probably the best setup, yeah. And there was that scene in Chasing Amy where they're comparing scars they got while having sex. Oh, yeah.

It was They keep doing that, because that scene's also in Lethal Weapon 3. Oh, yeah. Everybody was obviously inspired by this movie, because they keep ripping off the scenes. But, I mean, that is something people do. I mean, I found that I was comparing scars with a guy when I was in graduate school, and we have the exact same scars on our left hands, like every single one of them.

It was eerie. It was the kind of thing like, Really? No, let me see it again. Because that can't be right. You have that scar, that scar, that scar.

And he had better stories for every one of them than I did. Oh, man. Well, you have to kill him then. Because I was like, remember that rubber mold stuff where you'd make rubber spiders? Well, it had, like, gunked up, and I was trying to cut it open with a razor blade, and he was like, I was peeling potatoes in Latvia.

Okay. Well, your story sucks. There's no fake spiders in yours at all. Yeah. Fake spiders wins.

So, do we have people who haven't gone? Speaking of segues. Well, so when summer started, I thought like, oh, this is awesome. I'm going to read all these books and stuff. And I made a list.

And what I did instead was watch six entire seasons of How I Met Your Mother. A very similar thing happened to me. I don't know about greatest show ever. Well, I know. It's enjoyable occasionally.

I like it. I mean, you get attached to the characters. How I grew up to be a completely different guy. Voice over my own life. How I turned into Bob Saget.

It's a horror movie, but for a solid. I believe that he's just messing with the kids. I think it's all just, I'm going to mess with my own kids. None of this exists. It's like a scene where I'm not your father and then walk out.

That's what I want it to be. It's funny and it's not my favorite show ever, but I got really attached to it because the characters are just so good. You know, it's like the last episode I watched, Lily and Marshall are finally having a baby, and I was just as excited as if one of my friends was like, we're having a baby! I was just as excited. That's kind of sad.

It was really weird. Yeah, it was really sad. It kind of ruined it. it for me, though, when someone said that it's basically just this decade's friends. Yeah, it totally is. Pretty much.

Bar instead of a coffee shop. Whatever. Yeah, but instead of coffee, they drink, which is really how you should handle your problems. They won't let them do that. Yes.

Lots and lots of how I met your mother. Uh, The other day I watched Bottle Rocket for the first time. Oh, nice. Yeah, I've got that set out. My kids want to watch it.

I forgot to return it. So you own it now? No, I mean. The 25-day rule or something. No, we just got it on Friday.

And it's not my Wild and Holy account anyway. It's my boyfriend's. You can't not return it there. That's rude. Yeah, oh, I know.

We appreciate that. I'm going to take it to, like, Hiney Brothers. If it was Redbox, you could go throw it in the river. Yeah, well, no, because they charge me, like, $ 19. 00.

But just, you know, for sheer defiance. Yeah. I've also been super obsessed with a show called Oddities. My friend downloaded it, and we watched it at his house, like, marathon back-to-back until, like, the sun comes up. Literally, we will watch the show until the sun comes up, and then we will go get donuts at Nord's at 6 when they open, and then I will go home and sleep.

Yes. This is quite the life you have put together. My summer has been really fun. But no, if you guys haven't seen the Oddities show, I highly recommend it. It's about these people who own an antique store in New York.

People bring in pickled pigs and all kinds of awesome stuff. Things that I want at my house? Things that you have in your house. That's probably true. A reality-based show?

It's a reality-based show. It's a real shop in New York. And there's one in San Francisco, too. But it's made me realize what I want to do with my life. Oh, there you go.

Pickle pigs? Yeah, pickle pigs. Pickle things. I do like to pickle things. It's quite a process.

Is that hoarders for creepy people? It's hoarders without hoarders. Wow. That's bad. Yeah.

Some funny stuff has probably happened. I can't recall. No moments? It'll come up. Tons of moments, I'm sure, but.

None that I can like. Marlena moments. That's what we're looking for. If you don't record them when they happen, they're just lost. I know.

See, you've been slacking. I know. Because, like, you didn't even remember half the ones that we remembered that you told us. If I update my Facebook status with something that's really funny, that's why I have to because I'll forget. So we need to make notes along the way and be like, oh, she needs to tell us about this.

You know, I've started, this is really weird. I've started hanging out with my boss a lot, like at work. Like I'll go to work when I'm not working and just hang out. Weird. That's where we hang out.

We hang out at work because he's fucking hilarious. Oh, my God. I can't believe I never realized how totally hilarious this man is that I've known like my entire life. I've heard some weird stories about him. Yeah.

Yeah, that's weird. But I don't have any particularly awesome things I can think of off the top of my head. Or weird things that have happened to me. Did you ever find out what was going on in your alley? What was the mystery?

The hot damn hobo? Yeah. You know, no, but someone did break into my car the other day and it's still 45 cents. Wow. Gotta buy some hot damn.

I'm not kidding. This really happened like Monday. Nice. You actually knew how much change you had in your car. Yeah, it was just in the consoles.

It was like a quarter of a diamond. Two times. This is math. I don't like it. Too much math.

No. Bad memories. That's why we watch movies. We have no math. It may have been like 53 cents or something.

I don't know. But, yeah. Nothing else was messed with. Just change. All of her presets are for religious channels now.

Son of a bitch. They stole this necklace that I bought at Forever 21. It's like a plastic pearl necklace. They have good taste is what you're saying. So if you see a hobo with a pearl necklace.

Don't touch it. For the love of God, stay away from it. I'm going to be able to find that hobo because of that. If I see that hobo with a pearl necklace and you ask me for a change, I'd be like, dude, you got 53 cents on you, man. That's enough.

You've got enough. Some guy who was in a wheelchair by a Staffier's on 4th Street tried to get me and Jessica to buy him a piece of pizza because he's like, I'm a Marine! Get a piece of pizza for a Marine! And we're like, no thank you. Maybe if it was sushi.

Sushi. Maybe maybe you were if you were like in the navy yeah there you go you're in the marines no thanks i heard a couple of hobos talking for about 30 minutes outside you know where i work. They're sure they were hobos or they weren't bums no they were hobos they had bindles yeah yeah is that. What that's called a bindle. Yeah, it's called a bendle.

I have a new nickname for my friend Ben. Oh, bendle. Yeah. Hi, Ben. But what I found was that hobos like to talk about, they have like, or at least based on this experience, they like to talk about other hobos that they both know and whether they get along with them.

That's a good copy. topic of conversation. But they also like to talk about the Hatfields and McCoys. Really? They really do because you don't really have to know much about it. Like once you get the concept that they just hate each other.

You can sort of talk about. That to all the other hobos. You get the basic idea and you can chat. I just thought of another. Yeah.

I mean, I've been listening to their conversation about the Hatfields and McCoys is 10 times more entertaining than that TV show that was on. like last month. The Hatfields. Which I couldn't finish. I did notice a couple weeks ago I was walking my dogs in the front yard. There's a hobo living in my tree.

What tree in. Front of my house there was. Like and a minute ago you couldn't think of any moments that you have a hobo person that they had changed you know. Like i didn't see the actual hobo but all of his stuff was in the tree there's actually two trees there's. One what bendles hanging in the tree well.

There's one tree with like a duffel bag and another tree With a pair of shorts and, like, a shirt and some underwear. Well, no, that's where hobos come from. Because in the fall, they fall down to the ground and get covered over by, like, dirt and litter. They grow hobos. That's just so the bears don't get in.

It's a hobo fruit. Yeah, you don't want to pick a hobo until he's ripe. There was an early issue of McSweeney's that's just a list of hobo names that are now available because there aren't so many hobos anymore. And just the list of names is highly entertaining. I bet.

Like Gwendolyn the Goose Thief, I think. That's a good hobo name. I didn't even think that there's a whole different type of naming. Well, there are a lot of nicknames. I was going to say, from what I hear, they nickname a lot of...

They have weird codes for things that are just so outlandish and imaginative. I mean, we give our hobos that walk-in-front-of-work weird nicknames. There used to be this guy who had his He had like a headscarf tied around his face like an old-fashioned toothache. And he'd yell at people when they went in the bank. He called him old-time toothache hobo.

Oh, yeah. I mean, it must not have been that bad of a toothache if he didn't have it tied that tight. Where he could yell at you, though. That's the thing. Welcome to the hobo podcast.

Again, since we veered off like we normally do. There we go. There's Bronson. Even this random hobo is telling us different things. There's a hobo at Mickey.

Yeah. So while we're on the hobo game. He was telling us to hurry up. Stop talking about hobos. Stop talking about hobos.

He was pointing at his watch. He didn't have a watch. He was trying to tell us that the hobo train is getting ready to come in. We're letting out all the hobo secrets. They're going to come and charge Nancy's bagel.

We're going to be late. It's not hard to find here's a thousand hobo names. There's also an ehobo.com. They've got their own site. I'm not familiar with that.

Let's see. Chisel and his toxic liver. Oh, Terry Tree Climber might be your hobo. There you go. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. Gil Bates, inventor of the hobo net. Helga, the bearded lady of Mexico. There are some good. Half-living optimist Larry.

Misogynist Willie. Oh, they need, they need kids cards just for hobos. Hobo collector cards. Yes. Amadeus, the seminary dropout.

I like that. There's a serial killer trading cards and Adam's family values that they collect. These names are like just stories just untold. If you're that creative, you can't get a job or you can't, maybe they don't want to be. You're shaking your head, Brian.

This is all your fault. You, left it open. You didn't give a strict structure. I believe that was your suggestion. Was it my suggestion?

I tried to keep it movies, but I fell into the hobo trap. Well, was I still lost. In like a Saturday Night Live. Fever bliss when you asked me this? Because I might have been.

Yeah, you usually are the sad thing. That's happened several times, all of which were before the surgery. Okay. To change the subject from hobos. Can I at least round it out then?

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. Because I actually meant to tell this and we just haven't done it. one of these episodes. You do have a hobo story. I have my hobo story that I thought we could, let's cap it off with this.

So, and this one actually ties in to a previous episode. If you were around a long time ago, you'll remember Marlena and Misty discussing the zombie that they saw on the street. Yeah. Who's actually a hobo, by the way. Yeah, no, it doesn't.

He loiters around this area, and we've been told to keep him the hell away because he does very indecent things around people and yells at them and bums money and scares them. They stay in their car until he goes away. He's not well-liked around here. He's liked, but he's not well-liked. Did I mention he only has one arm?

Anyway... He looks like a zombie and he only has one arm and he shuffles along the street. So one day he comes up and I'm standing there and I'm already just waving him off. Like, dude, just keep going. No, no, I don't have time for your nonsense.

I got things to do. And he's trying to get me to like light a cigarette for him. I'm like, yeah, you need one more thing. Let's give you a lung cancer. So I'm just like, no, just get going.

And he starts yelling at me and he gives me what I think is possibly the best, name calling i've ever had possibly the best insult but i don't even find it an insult because it's so awesome he's he's kind of rambling in his hobo style you you a bad hitler i was just like i almost immediately said thank you That's the most awesome name anyone has ever called him. Bad Hitler. As opposed to a good Hitler? Yeah. Somewhere in Switzerland, there's like a good Hitler, the anti-Hitler.

I don't know. I'm not sure how this works exactly. Maybe to make it up to him, like next time he wants you to light a cigarette, why don't you just get two and then light them both? You could recreate the scene from Now Voyager to where you light them both and then just give him one. Be real romantic.

No. I will continue to be a jackass to him like I always have. Which is why I'm a bad Hitler. Well, but see, doesn't that work like a double negative? I mean, it makes you a very good person.

Oh, well, I think we all know better than that. So with that, let's cap off the Hobocast. And does anybody have any movies to round this thing out? I wanted to mention that I watched The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. All right.

I just wanted to mention that. I don't have anything else to say. What was your take on it? Tali Parton's boobs are so big. Yeah, but that was back when her face looked real.

I miss those days. She's just really small. Well, her waist is. Her waist wasn't that small in that movie. I know, that's what I'm saying.

She's like an advertised person. It's like a 15-inch waist. It's not human anymore. But she and Burt Reynolds are like a perfect match. They're a perfect on-screen match.

They're both equally cheesy in that same way. I want to get a velvet painting of both of them and hang it side by side in my house. Don't let me see it. Or in your tree. You can hang it in your tree.

In my tree, yeah. Yeah. Well, after Saturday Night Fever, I kept the buzz going with Across the Universe. I'd never seen that before either. And that was a movie that I'd actually...

Friends of mine who were fans of Julie Taymor, I mean, they liked Titus and they liked Frida, they were not too happy with that movie. I remember a lot of people just saying they didn't much care for it, so I didn't have my expectations high, but I was like, this is a fun movie. I mean, it's one big gimmick. I get it. But, I mean, visually, it's awesome, but usually her movies are.

I mean, I was still kind of curious about The Tempest. Of course, that was universally panned when it came back out this past year, so I haven't. Seen it yet. But, I mean, it was visually just a very stunning film. It was fun.

I enjoyed it. I thought it was fun. I was equally as awestruck by it. Um, It was a good night that night. I have to have surgery more often.

I had probably the opposite of a geek moment after watching the Red Dawn remake trailer online. And then I felt like just walking over to my kitchen and sticking my head in the oven out of depression. I don't think I finished watching the trailer. I've heard a. Couple people who I expected to hate it say they were okay with it.

Just the remakes. Just stop the remakes. They're not going to. Ever. There needs to be protests on the streets.

It needs to be that urgent of a situation. It's never going to happen. I still want Weekend at Bernie's 2, but a really dark Weekend at Bernie's. There already is a Weekend at Bernie's 2. I was going to say that.

Weekend at Bernie's 3. 3. 3 we could do. I don't know that anybody wants it besides you. When they start being silly.

Very much corpse-like. I'm sorry, reboot the whole franchise. Bad Meat, the guy who used to edit The Onion, when he left, he tried to go into film, and he wrote a movie called Bad Meat. It's about sort of a body, trying to get rid of a body. He didn't really do that well in the movie industry.

Hitchcock already did that anyway, so they're all just kind of ripping him off. Yeah. Okay, Erin, do you have anything for us? I watched Base Skitball the other day. Oh, that's not right.

I take no responsibility for that. But yeah, those guys have become well-respected now, or at least one of the two. So, I mean, they gave them Tonys, for God's sake. That movie did? No, but one of the writers now is like a multi-Tony winning writer, so.

I just recently watched that Six Days to Air, the documentary that they did on making of South Park. I mean, that's pretty crazy that they operate in those conditions. I like sort of the fly-by-night operation they got going after all these years still. Yeah, because they started that way. It was just they're passing a tape around and got themselves a show.

For one, it's weird. And then they still were just doing it with cut-out construction paper and Yeah, so it's amazing that it made it at all. And then the fact that how many years now is that? I think it's in 13th? 13th?

I think 14th season. We're more than that. I want to say it's like 16th. It's ridiculous. It's been on since I was in 6th grade and I am 20.

I mean, when it first started, it was like, that was still when I was young enough. So it's like there was a set of shows like I was not allowed to watch. And now it's just. Just watch Mary Poppins again. It won't scar you for life.

My mom always made me watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks. I don't know why. She made me. No, no, I was based on that, too. That was actually my preferred growing up.

We had that on VHS, and I remember nothing about the plot. Like, that was before I had a concept of what the Nazis were and what that, and, you know, seeing a bunch of armored knights fighting Nazis. Like, that was just a lot of goofy fun, you know. Like it is. And you know, yeah, I didn't know.

It's like, it's weird. Doesn't bother me. I'm bad Hitler. Yeah, you're bad Hitler. I mean, now I just think about it.

It's like, it's Nazis. It's witchcraft. I mean, it's Germans. Yeah. It's just, it's a very bizarre movie when you get.

Right down to it. I just remember that the dad, like the same guy was in both movies. David Tomlinson. Because it's basically ripping off Mary Poppins. It was the same studio though, but yeah.

But yeah, I just, all I remember is a really creepy black cat that kind of She totes around, and there's a scene where she makes these shoes dance that kind of gave me nightmares. I haven't seen it in a long time. I remember growing up, actually, my brothers and I, we went over to, we liked that movie so much, we would go over to relatives' houses and do it with their clothes, make them dance around and just leave stuff wherever. We got in trouble for that. It made me want to go to Portobello Road.

We'll say that. So what was your take on basketball? Sorry about. That. Do you want to start your own team?

Oh, definitely. Whole league. We can see if we can get that going. We can't even get sponsorship for this. I don't know how we're going to get that.

I did like that it was kind of like a naked gun kind of comedy. kind of stupid like it's it was very the director yeah very hit or yo okay that's that's that would explain it it's really really hit or miss but like the funny parts are just i thought were really funny. They have their moments again it's i mean trey in particular is really kind of smart about the way he does it matt just seems like he got lucky matt just was right in the right place and being the right friend with the right person because trey like everything that he puts together is really smart like even as stupid as some of it is it doesn't seem like it should be that you know well put together and like it's still got this vein of like just being well written yeah having something to say even though it's stupid and their jokes are juvenile.

And yeah he proved it by like you know south park bigger longer and uncut like that at the fact that it's as good a movie as it is not just like a TV show on the big screen. It works as a movie. They structured it really well. They wanted it to feel like a movie with a story and the songs were really funny. And just creative.

Got one of them nominated for an Oscar. Oscar nominated. Then they show up on acid and dresses to the Oscars and all these people in tuxes are like, screw you, dude. This is my big night. Yeah.

And cartoons. Boring Oscars not showing guys in dresses. Nobody with talent is supposed to show up. So any other fun items on your queue? Mostly just an Etsy classified school survival guide, as you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do occasionally compare notes on that one. Yeah. You have the guide. You have to make your own at home as you watch along and keep track of where you left off.

Don't make those mistakes again. Also, did anyone see The Dark Knight Rises? Yes. are you all starting to think that like the more you think about bane i don't know if it's just me that he sounded a lot like sean connery yeah i have said that i think everybody's kind of you do it it's not something i noticed as i was watching though it's something that like i had to think about and then i saw sean connery saying something on tv and i was like he's just talking like sean connery you do like i don't have a problem with it or anything but i'm just like i just that's weird i did not notice. It now that's what i said right after is you just cup your hands over your mouth and imitate a bad Shankar. That's the great old thing.

I mean, it works so perfect. But, you know, he could have done Bronson, and that could have been really creepy as a character. I think it still works creepy. It would have been extremely difficult to hear, though, with the very thick Bronson accent and the mask. I think it works because it's so opposite.

Like, it's so, like, calm and almost you know for for this brute he's so like almost upper class. He's really intelligent that makes it it makes him scary. It makes it weird yeah it doesn't sit right when you first hear. There's a hint i felt like at some point like i couldn't quite pinpoint i was like okay he has a british accent i'm guessing but at some point like it sounds kind of german but the prison he was apparently born in sorry spoiler alert um spoiler for dot not rises i'm gonna give you know people a couple seconds to okay i'm gonna continue And the prison he was supposedly born and raised in, which was in Albania or somewhere, how does he have that accent after coming out of the prison?

But in the movie, was he born there? I thought he was. In the comics, he was. No, I read allegedly that Tom Hardy, that was like some very obscure Eastern European dialect that he was doing. And I YouTubeed that guy.

And I could not see where he got, like, I was listening to this gypsy fighter guy talker he apparently got his inspiration for the voice and i'm i just couldn't hear it i was like wow i i did i still think sean connery's just like i think you're lying you just watched i. Don't know sometimes you just hear whatever is more. Familiar maybe just the attitude like a lot of it just inflections not necessarily accent. Actor i knew was trying to do a dutch accent in dracula and he said everybody just thinks you're doing a bad german accent Because nobody knows the Dutch accent. Right.

I just thought Bane was trying to be Ed Sullivan. Or Christopher Walken. Batman. Now I will break you. I can't do it.

That's another accent where you're saying just people. The impression of Christopher Walken is not at all Christopher Walken. He even does that impression now. Yeah, he does himself. There's such a difference, like.

A huge disconnect between the actual source. That's why they keep bringing him back on Saturday Night Live. I was going to say, there are several actors I feel like they've gotten to the point to where they are impersonations of themselves. Did you see. Jack Nicholson and Nick Cage.

Both, I feel like. Nicholas Cage show up as Nicholas Cage on SNL. That was pretty funny. Because he was actually not as good a bad Nicholas Cage as Adam Sandberg. Yeah.

And they were just like dueling banjo. Andy Sandberg, yeah. Andy Sandberg. But yeah, Dark Knight Rises overall, I wasn't disappointed. I was just underwhelmed.

I liked it a lot. I really am debating whether or not it's better than The Dark Knight. At first, I was like, The Dark Knight. I was like, I think it's a better movie, but I'm just thinking about it. This movie felt just more mature overall.

But the problem is the fourth act, and it's going to be a lot of spoilers. I feel like the whole problem with it. Is you get to the point to where Bane has all the police trapped underground. He's blown all the bridges. He's got a nuclear bomb that he's sitting on, and he's broken Batman's back, and he's halfway across the world.

And it's like, okay, he essentially, for all intents and purposes, he's won. And then I feel like the Nolans were like, well, shit, we wrote ourselves into a corner. So wait, wait, wait, wait. How can we get this to work? The bomb, it's ticking down.

It's got five months, so Batman can heal up in that time. And the fact that it's like, okay, well, we've got to keep the policemen healthy. They've got to be clean-shaven. They've got to basically stay underneath the ground. They've got to have all their weapons.

So that way we have. To have somebody to defeat the prisoners when they come up. And it's just, there were. Well, the reason... That Bane, and I had to think back.

I was like, oh, that's why he was doing that. He was telling Bruce Wayne before he put him in the prison that I'm going to give them false hope for a period of months before I destroy them because that is the only way I can fulfill Ra's al Ghul's destiny. So that's why I figured he waited that whole time to have the bomb ticking down instead of just blowing it up all at once because he wanted them to feel like they had a hope of saving themselves to give them that illusion. And that was kind of the point of having the big city prison kind of. deal yeah but for me a lot of it was just it was very much the same climax to that the dark knight had to where it's like somebody out there some average person has the control to kill all these people and you've got the ticking clock factor and it's turning everyone against one another so you can see how the city goes into chaos and it's just i was like you know basically you watch batman begins you watch dark knight and they are so different in tone as well as art direction and style.

And so basically when I watched dark night rises, I almost felt like I was watching a sequel just to dark night, even though they threw back a lot to Batman begins. It's like, basically they kept that same tone and everything. It's like, well, we got darker with dark night, so we have to keep that. And I was like, it doesn't work. There were so many, I mean, there was stuff about it that I liked, but the more I started thinking about it, the more just, things started to kind of fall through just little nitpicky things like you know when he thought the way he finds out about um bane alfred comes down and he's like well i looked up you know it's like he's giving all this on bane and i was like he just he always magically knows all the intel on every supervillain the second they arrive on screen like he's like.

The joker you came in and he just like gives him this dossier on the joker like how do you know this and he's alfred And he did the same with Bane. At that point, I was like, yeah, that's just what you do, Alfred. I've come to expect that. But that's kind of the comic book-y. You have to suspend your disbelief on how awesome a person Alfred is.

He's the real superhero. It's kind of amazing how he's really smart. He's ex-military. He knows Batman better than anyone. He can kind of kick ass.

He beat that one guy up in Batman Begins, I think. But he spends most of his days making tea. He actually cried a lot in this one, so he was kind of a wuss. You know, his blubber at, well, their one point, I'm not going to spoil that. Alfred's a walrus.

That felt cheap to me. I was like, you're such a better actor than this, what are you doing? Yeah, that was the point. Well, actually, like you said, that whole act is kind of. It feels just rushed.

Yeah. Are you talking about where they like kept the falling out? Well, that I'm just like the fourth act for me, like the climax, everything. I mean, just to where it's like, we sat on this, everything took five months to get to this point. And now it's like, all right, we've got to organize the city and do all this in 45 minutes before the bomb goes off.

And it's just really well. And there's one point where the time, I think it comes from watching 24 that the The time, you know, Gotham's a big city, and he escapes from one of the bad guys, I'm not going to say it, in the, I guess it's a bank or something that they're in, or the courthouse or something. And Batman is able to get to his vehicle on top of a building and get to the scene where he needs to be after tracking someone, and it's like less than three minutes of the clock time on the bomb. Like, no. Just stop.

You can edit better than this. Make the time longer. Do something. Yeah, the time passing solution was kind of... Christopher Nolan, I think his movies have always kind of had a weird montage problem and just getting a sense of how things are, like time has passed.

I didn't know until after I saw it that Gotham had been under Bane's rule for five whole months. I honestly thought it was like several weeks or something. I thought it was just getting close to winter, and that's why it was just snowing all of a sudden. I was like, oh, they're approaching winter. I kind of like that middle part, though, where it gets...

I mean, I think that's the most interesting part of it, because it's not... For that part, it's not a superhero movie. It's almost this dystopian future. It's this weird alternate reality. I like watching...

I like knowing this really... I generally thought reading this and having this in my head enhanced watching the movie for me is... Christopher Nolan, how he said his approach to making this movie was going back to the silent era of the kind of Fritz Lang epics and how he had, because they read it, they're pretty blatantly at the end, Tale of Two Cities, and having those two things in mind. And so kind of going into that thing, like, this is not going to be a Batman movie. This is going to be, like, a movie about, you know, this revolution in a city and this crazy epic scale, and it's not going to be a comic book movie.

And I think that made me, like, appreciate it more. Like, think about it more if I had gone in expecting, like, another Dark Knight or, like, the new Batman movie. I think I would have been even more disappointed. But see, if that was the case, they shouldn't have started off with Batman then. I mean, I think if you were going to do that, start off with Gotham City under Bane's rule.

And then you kind of backtrack a bit. That's the problem with the movie. It does, as a follow-up to The Dark Knight, it does disappoint. As a movie that stands on its own and does its own weird thing, it definitely, I think it's... And see, I.

Think that might be the thing. That's why I said I wasn't disappointed. I was underwhelmed because the Nolans, they set the bar so high with what they'd done. And it's like, it just didn't quite... meet up, because a lot of the action sequences in the fourth act, and I was like, I feel like at almost that point, it's digressing a little bit into just the superhero movie that I've seen dozens of times over. And over, whereas the other two didn't.

Yeah, it's unfortunate the Avengers came out the same year, because I thought a lot, there was a lot of just, I mean, not conscious, but similar things that happened in the climax. We've already spoiled stuff, so I'm just going to say, like, the whole saving, like, stopping the missile from you know and going off and this hero going off with whatever explosive device and blowing up in the distance like is he dead i feel like i've seen that it's like the. Old 1966 batman it's just some days you can't get rid. Of a bomb the nunnery yeah that's what i assumed that was it was a little tribute to batman i like to think that yeah there's a tribute to that um and also the flying around the city like missiles flying around you know new york that's It was very similar to the Avengers, but done a lot.

Better, I thought. I do like the fact that the overall point of the story is to redeem Batman in the city's eyes, from where he got dropped in Dark Nights. That I like about it. Like I said, I don't think it's a bad movie, it's just when you compare it to the other two, I feel like it's the weakest of the three for me. It definitely had its flaws.

Yeah. I did like it a lot better than Inception, which I don't think I've never really been in the Inception camp, but everyone else is. So I went in not expecting much. Not everyone. Not everyone.

Okay. All right. I think we better round this thing out. So this, based on the comments earlier, should be interesting. Okay, kids, get out your decoder pins.

Nobody? Nothing? I don't even know what kind of noise that would warrant. Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Since we've done it a hundred times, you'd think by now you'd have an idea.

It's some sort of fanfare, must have. Oh, we were going to do like the Led Zeppelin thing. And you've once again disappointed me. I think I give up on all you people. Right.

You're useless. You've not had enough coffee. I forgot. I give up. I could tell that tonight's message was really important.

So with that, next week... For our Secret Circle reveal here. Next week's feature will be... Prepare yourselves. Star Crash.

For me, I've been waiting for this one for years now. So it's time. We need to discuss it. So next week we will be back with Star Crash. So I think you need to go watch it and prepare yourself.

Do yourself a favor. Because it's... Well, it's. Arguable, but. Do yourself a favor?

Yeah, yeah. I think everybody needs to experience the wonder of Star Crash. But we'll leave that for next week. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week.

Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening. There was a time. When lonely men would wander. Through this land.

Rolling aimlessly along. So many times. I've heard of their sad story. Written in the words of dead men's songs Down through the years Many men have yearned. For freedom.

Some found it only on the open road. So many tears of blood have. Filled around us. Cause you can't always do what you are told. Please tell me where.

Have all the hope was gone too I see no fire burning down by the rusty railroad track Could it be that time has gone and left. Them Tied up in life's eternal traveling sands Last Sunday night I wrote a letter to. My loved ones. I signed my name. And knew I had stayed away too long There was a time when my heart was free to wander And I remember.

As I sang this hobo song. Please tell me where. Have all the hobos gone to? I see no fire. Burning down by the rusty railroad track.

Could it be. Tied up. In life's eternal traveling sand. Tied up in. Life's eternal traveling sand.

Oh, I thought that was a Segway. Speaking of Segways. Oh, the scooter. It's almost a Segway. It's a powered scooter.

Is it a powered scooter? It's good enough. Like, yeah. You're really regretting choosing this location. Do we have an option?

Speaking of Segways. Yeah. For the loser who can't afford. A real sick way. He rode it to the restaurant.

Right into the restaurant. Did someone open it from his car three spaces away? Did he really ride it from his car to the restaurant? He rode it from the tracks. I wish he just kept going right around people's tables.

He actually came down the railroad tracks on a scooter and then just rode right into the restaurant. This is my stop. The scooter's coming through this town any day now. Build this bagel shop here. I suppose people listening to us could lose patience at some point.

It's like, is there a restaurant? What's something about a base? What is this? I don't understand this show. Do they have a window?

I wish we had a shade is what I wish we had. People making faces. It looks like there maybe used to be a shade at one point, was there? Well, we need one. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by The Oddity Studios. with opening music performed by the Empires.

For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!