195: Jay Mohr Does The Right Thing

Fucking start already. Wake up wake up wake up wake up up you wake up you wake up you wake this is mr senior love daddy your voice of choice the world's only 12 hour strong man on the air here on we love radio 108 fm the last on your dial but first in your heart and that's the. Truth It's showtime. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised.

Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million. Kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian. I'm Fred.

I'm Alan. And once again, never happy just sitting at home. We always head out into the world. We are coming to you live via digital recording. From the improv here in Louisville.

And with that, we have our special guest co-host for the week, Mr. Jay Maher. All righty. Check, check, check. Hi, guys.

My name is Fred. Thanks for having me, gentlemen. I just had a Philly cheesesteak, and nothing has ever hit my stomach that hard that quickly. I feel bad being in Louisville with all this great food and having a Philly cheesesteak at a mini mall across the street. We do have a lot of restaurants.

I won't lie. It's ridiculous the amount of food we have here. What's great food? I asked the lady at my hotel. I said, if I wanted to eat something real quick, where.

Should I go? She said, you can go to the Hard Rock or Fridays. I said, all right. Well, I said, it's like I think like if there's a thought bubble and then a speech bubble in a comic strip. My speech bubble said, okay.

My thought bubble was, bitch, I didn't come. To Louisville to eat at a Friday's. I'm going to market, excuse me, toast on market and I'm going to order the king. There you go. That was the greatest meal I've had in my life.

I had it yesterday and then I went home and shit a waiter. Yeah. We do have classy, classy restaurants around here. It was so good, dude. Yeah, they're a lot.

Like, really close. Jack Fry's. We haven't talked the whole time so far. Yeah. Can you hear him?

As much as I ever can, yeah. I'm not used to sitting this far away from the mic, so my podcast, we have to swallow them. Really? Yeah. Just because it's phallic.

Well, whatever, you know, you need to do. As long as we get it back eventually. We should. We just like a lot of background noise. Yeah, it's fine.

Try to let the air conditioner have its say. Try being on stage with that sound. That's a joke. That's a laugh-erasing sound. It's really uncanny.

They told me last night it's controlled by the complex, not by the club. So I was going to have him just turn it off for the second show. Yeah. And he said, well, we'd have to, like, call the city. Well, get him on the phone.

That means the hard rock would have no AC. That's fine. You weren't going to go get a burger there anyway. No, but I had to get a Philly cheesesteak. I'm sweating.

Look at this. Maybe that wasn't a good idea. How's your Philly cheesesteak? It's good. My niece Emily says it's good, so it's good.

She's like two bites in and mine's gone. You were the guinea pig. I kind of swallowed that thing. I destroyed it. I thought you guys were in a hurry.

Well, I'm assuming most people are probably familiar with your work, but if. We need to do a rundown. Where do you want to begin? I mean, you start off pretty early on and end up in the cast of Saturday Night Live. That's kind of huge.

That's a big one. That's a small fraternity. Yeah. I mean, even now, it's... And it's harder than anything, I think, to stick around there, it seems like.

There's a lot of politics going on, so it seems. I think it might actually work against you to stick around there, too. Yeah. It's a weird fraternity, too. It's...

Like, people you've never met that were on the show, if you meet them out in public, you sort of grab it. Like, black guys always nod at each other in the mall. Bikers, they wave to each other. Yeah, you see it as, like, if I just ran into Rachel Trash, I'd be like, hey, what's up? You just.

It's a knowing thing, you all, yeah. Actually, I have met Rachel Trash, and that's exactly what happened. Oh, really? Because it's Sundance. Ah!

Like, hey, oh my God! Ah! Can you believe that place? Jesus. Ten minutes in, you realize, we've never met.

Wow. Well, then you created Last Comic Standing. That's kind of huge, or at least in the beginning. I don't know. Well, I like the comics in the house.

I stopped hosting when the, that was a big mistake, tactical error on my part. I should have just written it out. Yeah. That's when I didn't realize keeping it real was real wrong. ride the money train until it crashes into the center of the sun. Did they keep you on as producer.

As it went on it's kind of you can't get rid of the creator yeah uh capital i mean god that's. How you build yourself before abraham i am uh yeah so i you know i still got some dough but what i would have liked to i if i had to do it over again i would have stayed on to host but. I probably would have made enemies because I would have complained all the time that we were just doing evening at the improv. Yeah. Because at that point, it's just star search.

You just keep introducing comics. And I really loved when the comics were in the house. But I thought this was a movie podcast. Well, you know, I'm just giving people history on you. I mean, you've done plenty of movies, too.

Everything from Jerry Maguire to you just did, you know, Hereafter with Clint Eastwood. I did a real small part in Burt Wonderstone, the Steve Carell, Jim Carrey movie. And that was so. Fun and real that was a real big moment. It's a i mean it's a small part but uh i play rick the improbable we're all like uh bad magicians oh no i'm like the word like even my name is awful but it was weird in a great way to be on a set and when you realize i'm ad-libbing with steve carell Because you're used to doing it your way, when you ad-lib, and then somebody like Steve Carell ad-libs in a completely different.

Uses different math. And then it becomes like the Winchester Mystery House, where you're just going up stairways you didn't even know you had, and you're opening weird doors and stuff, and really playing, you know, shaping and moving and fun. And Steve Buscemi, Jim Carrey, It was really fun. I can't stress enough how small it was, but I also can't stress enough how enormous an experience it was. That should be funny, but it is just the right amount of perfect to fail.

What could go wrong? It could be Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi, James Gandolfini. Sometimes those perfect scenarios. All fall apart. It's all magicians.

Sometimes it's so good it becomes heat. Terrible. Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi are like Siegfried and Roy. Like old school guys with the jumpsuits and crazy hair. Straight, though.

And then Jim Carrey is. Like David Blaine. He comes and lets audience members punch him in the face. He pulls their card out of his wound. That sounds really good.

Then it becomes like Breakin'. Where they have to have like a magic competition to save like the rec center. Save the rec center. It's like old school magic versus new school magic. And they have to reunite.

Yeah. I actually belong to a magician's union in my hometown that met up over the JCPenney. I think I still get letters from them. There is a union for magicians? It was like a club, and all these guys would go there.

And I was like. Maybe 11, and I would go. And all these guys would do magic, and they were really good. And then they would have guest magicians like the Frito-Lay magician. I remember him coming.

And he's buried over in Cape Hill Cemetery. There's a statue of him. That statue is amazing. That's huge. Why does he have a statue?

He had a lot of money to buy... He could afford a statue. And Frito-Lay, like, the company? Yeah, he was a magician for Frito-Lay. And he would go out and sort of advertise...

Children's hospitals and stuff. Yeah. And he was really good. I like to think he was Mexican and his name was Frito. Yeah, Frito.

Frito Bandito, the magician. They're bringing that back now. Well, thanks for having me. I like talking about movies. Definitely.

What made you guys decide to do a whole movie podcast? Ongoing obsession of mine that's uh yeah that's and that's kind of what i was going to go into with you i mean that was sort of mine i've sort of tried to backtrack over the years and figure out what exactly made me love movies and then what made me love them so much i guess i needed to center a whole show around it but um which i've come up with different theories but um I was going to go into, I mean, you've got a lot of other, you know, you've got stand-up and you've got, you know, the movies and TV. What was it that made you want to do a podcast? Because now you've started your own podcast. Well, it's all, I'm an egomaniac.

So it's all, you know, how do I sell more tickets? at my shows and how do I get more people to pay attention to me I know I'll be on their computer I'm going to tell you names of movies and you say overrated underrated or push okay okay Godfather 2 push Who asked you? You did. Or were you talking to him? I was talking to him. All right, Push.

Push? I think Push is the way to go on that one. Fred? Yeah, Push. Godfather 1.

Say it. Just be a man and say it. Overrated? It is. But you got James Caan, so it saves you a little bit.

The World's Greatest also ran. Goodfellas. Underrated. Inexplicably underrated. Forgotten about these days.

You know, they never answer that, but they raise that question in The Sopranos and never answer it. It's that priest, what's her name's priest? Carmela's priest. Paul Schultz. Yeah, he, in one of the early episodes, he says, well, what does Tony think about Goodfellas?

How does he rank Goodfellas? They never, they just leave it hanging. That's how they left the whole show hanging at the end, right? Yeah. Goodfellas seems to be.

People go, how can it be underrated? It's the best. I'm like, well, that's... It's underrated the way the Beatles are underrated. Yeah.

You think you got it all figured out. And you're the baseline and you never give. Me your money and go, oh, wait a minute. I have to listen to this all over again. I think it's gotten forgotten these days.

It was so huge in the 90s. Way overrated. Massively overrated. It's horrible. It's just funny that people even talk about it.

I've said that Scarface is to rappers what Goodfellas is to comedians. That's about right, actually. That's not bad. Yeah, I think it's just made to sell posters and trend items at this point. T-shirts and And most of the kids wearing the Scarface stuff have never seen Scarface.

I would like to make Scarface from the rapper. T-shirts of him. You probably could sell that. He's underrated. That's how it goes.

To be cool. They ought to remake it with Steve Carell. That'd be just as ridiculous. Her womb is polluted. What?

Who I trust? Nobody. That's who. I can kind of see him doing it. I mean, Admiral Abraham is a human.

Yeah, what could go wrong? I can see him doing this, yeah. More games? No, it's the pauses that make the podcast. I just didn't know if we had more.

To go through. No, I'm all out. Okay. Oh, man. Well, do we want to get into the movie?

We can head into the big movie discussion. I'll do whatever you need to do. All right. I'm your guest. We will take a break, and then we will come back with the movie.

Alright. You can't stand it. I know you can't stand it. You can't stand the heat. You can't stand the heat.

Just be cool, stop acting like a fool, cause. I know it is the weather. And now, before the next show starts, let's. Enjoy an intermission. You'll find our snack bar chock full of good things to eat and drink.

Tasty, tempting hot dogs, thirst-quenching soft drinks, fresh, crunchy popcorn, a complete assortment of delicious candy, and a full line of cigarettes. You've plenty of time, so visit the snack bar now. A tasty treat will double your enjoyment of the show. For your convenience, we shall keep you informed of the remaining intermission time, three minutes before the next show starts. In 1967, Oliver Stone was a combat infantryman in Vietnam.

He was wounded twice and received a medal for gallantry in action. Ten years later, he was a Hollywood screenwriter. And the winner of an Oscar. But even after many successes, Stone still had another story to tell. A movie that grew out of his own experience, Stone has come a long way from.

Vietnam, but he has not left it behind. Out of the hole! Fire! Take the pain. Take the pain!

I got a bad feeling on this one, all right? Watch out! Rockets! The first real casualty of war is innocence. The first real movie about the war in Vietnam is Platoon.

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Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. Dave, I do not get superheroes. Oh my god, I don't get you. What don't you get?

Towerbot here. Well, the meatbags were going to say that if you're a geek and like podcasts, then you could try Tower of Technobabble at www.toweroftechnobabble.com. Then this started. Well, it's up to you. I'm gonna get my taser and put a stop to this.

Towerbot out. Okay, monkeys. It's knock time. Hi, this is Louis Gossett Jr. This is Movie Meltdown.

One man, one goal. One mission, one heart. One soul. Just one soul to shine. One flash of light.

That's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. W-E-L-O-V-E 1-0-8.

It's time for Sofa Theater. Yo, Mook! Mook! What? How come you got no brothers up on the wall?

Man, ask Sal, right? Hey, Sal, how come you got no brothers up on the wall here? You want brothers on the wall? Get your own place. You can do what you want to do.

You can put your brothers and uncles and nieces and nephews, your stepfather, stepmother, whoever you want. See? But this is my pizzeria. American Italians on the wall only. Take it easy, man.

I'm you. Hey, don't start with me today. What? Yeah, that might be fine, Sal, but you own this. Rarely do I see any American Italians eating in here.

All I see is black folks. So since we spend much money here, we do have some sex. You looking for trouble? Are you a troublemaker? Is that what you want?

You making trouble? Yeah, I'm a troublemaker. I'm making trouble. Another summer Sound of the funky drummer Music hitting your heart I know you got soul Listen if you're missing y'all Swinging while I'm singing Giving what you're getting Knowing what I'm knowing While the black band's sweating In the rhythm I'm rolling Gotta give us what we want Gotta give us what we need Our freedom of speech Is freedom of death We got to fight. The powers that be Fight the power.

Fight the power. Fight the power. Fight the power. Fight the power. Fight the power.

Fight the power. We've got to fight the power. Let's beat it. The power! Fight the power!

Fight the power! Fight the power! Fight the power! Fight the power! From the heart it's the start of work of our two revolutionized Make a change, nothing strange People, people, we all the same No we're not the same, cause we don't know the game What we need is awareness, we can't get careless You say, what is this?

My beloved, let's get down. To business Mental self-defense or fitness? Don't let this show. You got to tell me what you know To make everybody see In order to fight the powers that be. Fight the power.

Fight the power! Fight the power! Fight the power! Fight the power! Fight the power!

Fight the power! We're back to fight the power. Of the beast! Alright, so we're back with Movie Meltdown Sofa Theater. This week's Sofa Theater feature is Do the Right Thing, The Year is 1989, Director Spike Lee, and the plot, according to IMDb, On the hottest day of the year on a street.

In the Bedford... Stuyvesant. Stuyvesant. There you go. You're from the neighborhood, right?

You're New Jersey. Bed-Stuy. Bed-Stuy. The Bed-Stuy section of Brooklyn. Everyone's hate and bigotry smolders and builds until it explodes into violence.

Spoiler alert. You've had since 89, so get to work on this one. What's up? All right. I'd say, where do you want to begin?

But, I mean, you've got Rosie dancing right there. So I guess from that point, we'll get into it. It's an excruciatingly long opening credit. Spike Lee must have been madly in love. With Rosie Perez.

I think so. Because there's really no reason for Rosie Perez to do that absurd dance to the entire song, the remixed long version of Fight the Power, with boxing gloves on. I think the beginning, it's entertaining. And then by the time she's doing the weird stomach dance, I mean, if it was just like a. I mean, it could have just been camera shots through the neighborhood to fight the power.

But no. Because fight the power is hard to beat. Yeah, definitely. As far as a great opening. Opening credits are a tricky thing.

I loathe them. I really need you to put. A piece of the movie in the opening credits. Because if you just show me a babbling brook, And two and a half minutes of like second unit director. I'm out.

I hate it. I like when you get either the credit sequence or the pre-credit sequence that's. Kind of like its own little mini movie kind of thing. Those are awesome. That's the best way to go about it.

I like a little cold open of acting things. And then something that makes me, that ends with me going, whoa, okay. And then a song and credits as we're moving around through to where one of those people I just saw live. But Do the Right Thing, it's Rosie Perez dancing. Like a fool.

And for the entire song. Her outfit keeps changing. Just in mid-frame. It's so terrible. It's so.

And boxing gloves and... Yeah. But you know what? As I'm sitting here talking about it, maybe... I think it's a movie.

Spike Lee made perfectly by accident. Because he hasn't really hit one out of the park like that before since Inside Man was really great and I like Summer of Sam but it's so in my opinion Do the. Right Thing is perfect and now I'm sitting here talking. About it I get annoyed the annoyance I'm feeling about Rosie Perez is the annoyance everyone feels about each other at the beginning like everyone's all through the movie everyone's on each other's nerves because it's so hot. And I'm like I'm off with the dancing but I don't think he did it on purpose And we'll get to more of that later.

Because Act 3, the big, giant turning point of the movie, there's no way he did that on purpose. But it's amazing how it pans out. Anyway, I guess we'll get to that later. It's really like, he did, it's very NYU film school. Like, there's a lot of shots for shots' sake.

A lot of weird, like, the side of the building just happens to be lit bright orange. That's just how weird the sun was that day. Like, well... I don't know. I like the visual representation throughout it because it's so consistent.

It's always this overly colored, and everything has a red, orange, yellow. I mean, it's playing on that. Hot thing, and you do kind of get that feeling. It does play that it's coming through. Sometimes it has that quality like people who paint with acrylics.

Probably to heat it up a little. Mixed with Sesame Street. When Ruby Dee is in her window, I expect the Deedlebugs to be. Singing underneath her. I was hoping Oscar would come out of that trash can.

I love Ozzie Davis as the homeless guy. He's great. The mayor. You asking a lot, asking a man that changes malt liquor? That's the mayor.

Drunk ass. He's pretty impressive. It's one of those going back and re-watching, I think I'd forgotten how good he was. He's so great in Jungle Fever as the super Christian father of Samuel Jackson, the crackhead. Spoiler alert, you know what?

If you haven't seen these movies, then you shouldn't be listening to this podcast. When he finally shoots his own son. It's so biblical and so great. And the way Spike Lee shot that house in Harlem, the inside of Ruby Dee? And Ozzie Davis, the inside of their house is so incredibly shot.

Anyway. Ruby Dee is mother's sister. Yeah, mother's sister is Ruby Dee and Ozzie Davis, just the whole movie just tries to get her to go on a date. She's just a drunken bum walking around the neighborhood in a suit. But holding on to that last bit of dignity and Ozzie Davis, the only guy alive that could play that.

Part and still have an eyelash of class. Like you go, That guy was classy. He plays it that way. Because he almost ends up being our real main character. He's there equally as much as we're following the story.

And as it goes on, you really start to like him, where I think I have issues with Spike. As the story goes on, his character kind of comes into question, whereas Ozzy's gets better and better. His character comes into question right away. Yeah. He, like, wakes up his sister messing with her eyeballs with his bad breath.

He's just a jerk. On the only day she can sleep late. He's a jerk. What's the matter with you? Yeah, Mookie seems to be a bit of a creep.

Yeah. Yeah, it just really puts me off. And he, um. Yeah, Spike. Casting yourself is not.

And this goes for, like, Woody Allen, too. Well, not in Annie Hall, not in The Greats, but, like. now it's like you know what i don't need to see quentin tarantino and quentin tarantino like it's your movie dude you're good i got you you're in charge of the whole. Thing it was funny when it was mr brown because you had like two lines yeah by pulp fiction like okay really you couldn't have found anybody else for this part exactly uh it's a little ego spike drew. A thing it's okay it's okay but by the time you get the clockers you're like you've got to be kidding me dude because that was one of the greatest books i ever read And then I saw the movie and went home. Because I'm pretty sure Scorsese and Spike Lee fought for clockers.

And you go, oh my God, if Scorsese did clockers, lights out. Lights out, man. Spike has the opening and he bookends the movie with himself. Anyway, so we do the right thing. Rosie Perez and then Spike Lee bothers his.

Sister by poking her eye. She goes, your breath stinks. And he goes, it's your upper lip. That's funny because their relationship plays so well and then you realize why it plays so well. That is his sister.

Jay, I think her name is, right? Yeah. Jay Lee? Yeah. There's a great scene where Danny Aiello, the owner of the pizzeria, and do the right thing.

It's just so nice to Spike's sister. Danny Aiello was nominated for Best Supporting Actor. When I watched the movie, I didn't get a feeling like he was hitting on Spike Lee's sister. Really? You did?

Oh, yeah. Okay. He goes, hey, you know what? She goes, I'll just have a slice. He goes, hey, you know what?

I'm going to make you something really nice. I'm going to make you a slice. I'm going to make you something really special, all right? You sit down, and I'm going to make you a real nice slice. So, like, that's his, he's such, like, blue collar, like, awful blue collar.

Like, his way of, like, really wooing a chick is, I'm going to put some meat on your thigh. I'm going to double the cheese and not charge you $ 2. Now, you know what? Then you cheaps out. And then Spike Lee goes, you can fire me right fucking now.

Because he thinks he's sitting on his sister. I think there's a little of that. Now, yeah, let's get the best comeback line. He goes, you know what, Mookie? Not for nothing.

But if you were just a little bit taller, I'd kick you right in your fucking ass for what you're thinking. If you were taller. How great is that? If you were just a little bit taller. And Danny Aiello could pull that stuff off.

He was incredible in that movie. I just killed your fucking radio. Yeah, I mean, he can play both, and that's worked so well with this, because this movie kind of makes everybody skate the line of what side do you fall on, and who's, you know, especially once you get into the racial stuff, and who's being. Kind of racist. It's a racial, it's which side are you on.

And Richard Epson straddles the line. He's friends with Mookie. And John Turturro is so far over to the racist side. And Danny Aiello, you think, is on the black side. And to some extent he is.

I always thought he was. That's where I think the mistake that Spike made, thank God he made it because he made it a great film, comes in because when John Turturro goes, my friends, they make fun of me, they go, go serve pizza to the movies, go ahead. And then Danny Aiello sits her down and goes, do. You friends put food on your table, clothing on your back? They're not your friends, Pino.

And then Danny Aiello said that really sweet thing where he goes, these kids. They grew up on my food. Yeah, that's really nice. It's really sweet. Like, I saw them when they were kids, people.

They grew up on my food. So it is weird when they're on a hill towards the end of the movie, just takes that crazy-ass turn, drops hand bombs on everybody. I think it's just both. I think he's kind of like that, and he has that, if nothing else, he has that pride. And it's that pride in ownership that he has in the business, and it's pride that he did kind of help to raise this whole neighborhood.

Yeah. But he's also kind of old school. He's just like a no-nonsense kind of guy. So anytime somebody pushes him along those lines of, you don't tell me what to do with my business, you don't tell me what to do with my family kind of thing. He lets Ozzie Davis sweep up the front walk and pays him.

Because it's the way it was. Every day. It doesn't need to be swept. And I think it's, John Turturro goes, every day there's Azu Pep. I still don't know what Azu Pep means.

I think he made up half those terms. And then Spike Lee goes, Azu Pep. And he goes, Azu Pep. Every day he lets his Azu Pep sweep up the walk. And then he goes, hey, the mayor's a good man.

I think that's it. He's just kind of old school. Azu Pep. He remembers like the way that things used to work. And I tried to look it up, but I don't know how you spell it.

I just like Spike Lee going in his face. He also, is it the right thing when he goes, why don't you talk a little? Yeah. He goes, why don't you talk a little brother talk to him? Brother talk.

It's like anything racial that John Turturro's called on in the movie. He repeats to the person's face louder. Like you heard me brother talk. Brother talk. He goes, why don't you go talk a little brother talk to him?

Brother talk, brother talk. They have that great line on the cigarette machine. Remember cigarette machines? We don't have those now? He goes, who's your favorite basketball player?

He goes, Michael Jordan. He goes, who's your favorite actor? He goes, Eddie Murphy. Spike Lee says to John Turturro, who's your favorite singer? He goes, Bruce.

He goes, no, it's Prince. He goes, Bruce. He goes, it's Prince. He goes, Bruce. He goes, it doesn't matter.

He goes, excuse my language on this one for real. My niece's hair. This is the wife. She goes, you keep making fun of niggas, Pino. But all your heroes are niggas.

He goes, but they're not. They're different. Michael Jordan, he's different. He's not like that. They're different.

And he goes, you know what? Your hair's kinkier than mine, Pino. Maybe you're black. And John Turturro goes, hey, fuck you and fuck Michael Jackson. And then Spike Lee says, fuck you and fuck Frank Sinatra.

And then John Turturro goes, hey, watch it. Like the sacred cat, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so nice. I'm wondering how many times you've seen this movie. You seem to have this script memorized.

It seems like you can do this movie. Yeah. It's my one-man show. That's why I picked it. Jay Moore does the right thing.

Yeah. Hey, Sam, how come you got no pictures of brothers on the wall? You want brothers on the wall? Open your own. I heard you have a reservoir dog somewhere.

Open your own pizzeria. You could put brothers, you could put your fucking uncles. Did you actually do the whole movie of Reservoir Dogs, just the audio track? No, somebody on YouTube put up me doing Reservoir Dogs, and I just did all the different impressions, and somebody inlaid photos of all the people. It's really funny.

Not me, I'm not saying I, but the fact that somebody. pulled me. Doing it from the op and anthony radio show and put it up on youtube it's really. Larry i don't care how mad you are at me that's not half as mad as daddy's gonna be at us look you if you torture that guy enough he'll say he's starting a chicago fire that don't mean it's fucking. True true he's a good kid. You got shot in the gut.

All right. We're starting the Chris Payne animated show and you're taking over. It's too loud an impression. Blow out your mic. Your Yamaha mics.

Oh, wow. I don't know. That's something I've always kind of thought in society and why people are so weird about that. Because by the time we got... What do you mean by that?

Well, having that double standard. I always thought that once entertainment got involved and it's like, We had all these people back in the 40s and into the 50s, throughout the years, but at that point where you had the entertainers would be able to play in these clubs, but it was nothing but white people. They'd bring them in through the back door, they'd come up on stage and perform for all the white people, and then they'd go back out through the kitchen. I'm like, why are they okay to perform for you? Why can't you sit there and clap for them because you think they're so amazing as a performer, but they can't drink out of the same water fountain as you?

That's always been ridiculous. Being black really must be like living in the twilight zone in America. It's something that, you know, we're always going to be on the outside looking in. We could not possibly have any idea of the ridiculousness of difficulty. Like, just to be judged from across the street.

We have no idea what that's like. But do the right thing. Robin Harris was in Do the Right Thing, one of the greatest comedians that ever lived. is entertaining. And half the best lines come from him. Yeah.

And what's great about Do The Right Thing is suddenly now there's tension between the blacks and the Koreans. Yeah. And they're fighting amongst each other. And the whole, it just all comes up to like the end of that hottest day. Like there's your super racist John Turturro.

Your super, these kids grew up on my food, father figure in Danny Aiello. Then there's your clowns, like your Greek chorus. There's Robin Harris and the two other guys, the Haitian guy and the other guy. Oh, yeah, one of them is the police chief from The Wire. Yeah.

That guy. And then there's the Korean guy, so there's the interloper. Somehow, like Daniel Yellow, at least, you know, I built this place with my bare hands. Now there's the Korean across the street. And there's this weird soup.

Everybody's forced to live together. Radio Raheem's blasting his music all the time. And then at the end of the movie... It all just goes, it literally goes up in flames. But I don't think, when you watch the movie, Danny Aiello smashes Bill Nunn's boom box in with.

A baseball bat. Yeah. And says, I just killed your fucking radio. And then drops N-bomb, N-bomb, N-bomb, N-bomb. And then all the people in the pizzeria that were hanging out, having a nice time.

Oh, because they come up right as Danny Aiello closes. Yeah. And they're like, come on, Sal, let us in. It's Spike Lee, his sister, Martin Lawrence, and comedian Steve White. And then Daniel Yellow, and John Turturro's like, no, beat it.

And then Daniel Yellow goes, four slices down out of here. Like he's even being nice now. Again, it's like he loves providing for them. He unlocks his door and allows them in. And feeds them.

And then, Bill Nunn comes in. With the radio, cranking fight to power, thankfully with no rosy press. This time. And then he just goes, he bashes the radio in, and he drops N-bombs all over the place. And then everyone just.

Then they attack Danny Aiello, and a huge fight erupts, and then I guess Bill Nunn gets choked out by a cop. Yeah. The cops, I think, I don't know their names, but they're like straight porn and gay porn. That's their names. Yeah.

The one that looks like Jeremy one's Daniel Aylor's brother yeah really the one that goes this hydrant better stay off. Frank Vincent when they spray the fire hydrant on his car and he goes what are their names Moe and Joe that's their names Moe and Joe what sir Moe and Joe Black he goes what do you want us to do he goes what do I want you to do I want him locked under. The fucking jail cause they got his car wet But yeah, then. But the thing about do the right thing is Spike Lee throws the trash can through the window of the pizzeria. And then they all just go in and riot and light it on fire.

But then he goes back the next day to get paid. That part kind of killed me. And it makes me sympathetic to Danny Aiello. Yes, he. And I guess...

I guess that's the cultural divide between white and black. I don't know what it's like to watch that movie as a black guy. Well, that's what Spike Lee said. He said, people say, well, did Mookie do the right thing? And he's like, only white people ask me that question.

Because the way he put it is it's valuing white property over black life. But I don't get that. That's absurd. That is absurd, because it's more like valuing white property over white life because he did it to divert the anger from the guy to his property. Right yeah um or.

At least that's the way it comes up but i don't know when i watch the movie it really feels like the crowd's sort of dying down at that moment and that energizes them again of course he. Could have filmed it the other way and you could i don't know You know, to be perfectly. That's a good point, Fred, because they are dying down because they all have those lines to camera like, that's. Messed up what he did, man. Tired of you and those three stooges you sell.

Yeah. Robin Harris says, I'm tired of you and those three... There's only two sons. That's funny. Robin Harris goes, I'm tired of you and those three stooges you sell.

I don't feel like saying that again. I like that Danny Aiello and his sons... In Manhattan, there's always like a little gate where you put your trash, and it only comes up like waist high, and that's where they're standing. And for some reason, during this race riot, they're completely safe. Well, Ozzie Day puts them over there, but he closes the gate, so then we can get to them.

They're completely safe. He closes the gate. It's fine. I'm beat. Daddy, you know, I've been thinking.

Maybe we should sell this place. Get out while we're still ahead and alive. You really think you know what's best for us, Pino? Maybe we could... Can we sell this and open up a new one in our own neighborhood?

There's too many pizzerias already there. Maybe we could try something different. What am I going to do? That's all I know. What am I doing?

I've been here 25 years. Where am I going? One of the most impressive things about it, and I think it's just from the writing standpoint, too, because it was written by one person, and how balanced he makes things. I mean, it would have been really easy to make this, you know, to make the white characters very stereotypical, or to make them look like horrible people. But He does it.

He kind of makes it pretty even across the board with, like, everybody. A friend of mine and me, we were marveling, and this goes to Jungle Fever, too, at how exceptional Spike Lee writes for Italians. Yeah. Like, he writes Italians better than any Italian writer in the world. Like, when there are, I mean, Jungle Fever, when they're like, you know, at least my brother's not a fucking crackhead.

My brother's a recovering heroin addict on methadone, so fuck you. He stole my car radio. How do you know he stole it? He tried to sell no fucking thing back to me. Like that huge.

Argument they have when John Turturro's at his newsstand. Yeah. I'm doing different Spike Lee movies, but, but even in Do the Right Thing, he writes for Italians, so wow, it's really, he must have really studied them as a, like, He must have grown up. I don't know. Maybe he didn't.

But the dialogue, like. You said, it's not stereotypical at all. If anything, it's exact. It's real. It's frightening.

I grew up in New Jersey, surrounded by Italians, and it's exact. Just the way... What's that, Fred? I don't know. I have trouble with the movie, really.

Yeah? And I think one of the things... I mean, it's stagey. It's not really naturalistic. It's like a play.

It is like a play. I don't mind that necessarily. But I guess the thing that I have trouble with is that all the conflict is on the surface. And how can you represent racism in America if it's all explicit and stated? Because really most of it is hidden and cowardly And people don't come out and say what they mean.

They say other things that don't make any sense. And they hide the fact that they're being racist most of the time because everybody knows, oh, you shouldn't be racist. But people are. I mean, you can blind test it. And it's a fact that people do racist things.

And they don't think of themselves as racist. So I guess the thing that I have trouble with is just that everything is stated out in the open. Yeah. But it's not, too, because Daniel Yellow doesn't say anything until the one sentence. He's probably the deepest character in the whole.

I mean, everybody else could be a little more. Is that the fatal flaw of Spike Lee, that everything is always on the surface? Maybe that's a stylistic thing. I think she's got to have it. I think those are awful, unwatchable.

And people go, did you see She's Gonna Have It? He made it when he was at NYU. And I'm like, yeah, it looks like he made it in high school. It's a huge leap forward from those first two to do the right thing, both visually and just from a writing standpoint. I don't know what happened in that couple of years from then, but it's a big improvement.

And Fred's got a good point. Everything is on the surface. The entire movie is. It's extraordinarily hot. In case you don't hear the bickering, there's always the hand gesture to show you that we're bickering.

I don't think it exists in the real world. To me, it kind of creates its own little universe. And you get the weird colors. That's why I said Sesame Street. Yeah, it kind of is.

It's kind of like Sesame Street. But you get the weird color scheme. You get that music soundtrack that never stops. It's like its own little kind of running thing. And it becomes a little claustrophobic.

Yeah. It becomes like Bitch's Brew after a while. It definitely. Where after a. While you go, this music hasn't really stopped, as you said.

It's non-stop. And I don't know, it creates its own little scenario to me. So it feels like it's... It's a little removed from reality, and I think that's why you kind of get a little bit of a pass to make things a little more cut and dry and a little more specific to these characters. I don't know.

In a way, I think it works in this movie. If it was a different movie, I think I might have more problems. I think it's like an all-time great movie, though. Oh, yeah. Everybody thinks that.

You don't. No, I really don't. I mean, what other problems? He doesn't like blacks. There's a lot of blacks.

That's a problem. This is the point where I have to bring out my, like, I'm not a racist credentials to defend myself. But no, it's really one of those things. I'm a human racist. I believe in e-racism.

I hate everyone equally. You said that as Colin Quinn, yeah? I'm a racist. Human racist, yeah? Let's keep it PG, okay?

For me, it's like kind of the difference.... It may be a stylistic thing, but it feels like illustration to me. Like the difference between representing something and illustrating something so he can tell us about it. It definitely has its points, but it doesn't engage me in the same way that. A lot of other movies do.

What Spike Lee movies do you like? I'm not really a big fan. I've missed a lot of later ones. Son of Sam? I just saw it, and it was okay.

I was really in love with Inside Man. I liked it all right. I mean, Spike Lee, for me, is not like Oliver Stone. Like, I just won't watch Oliver Stone. I won't pay to watch it.

If it comes on TV, I'll watch. It, maybe. Oliver Stone's another guy, like, where he hit home run, like, Platoon, Wall Street. Yeah. Like, JFK goes into batshit crazy territory.

But it's kind of impressive, though. Clay Burton's Clay Shaw. Yeah. Like, Joe Pesci's, like, yeah. Kennedy was mixed up with gay hustlers where their wigs fell off at sex parties.

That makes perfect sense. And, like, Nixon, I'll even go along for the ride. But then, like, you turn, you go, this is a guy that either went crazy.... That's a. Yeah, Oliver Stone's a weird one, too.

But Oliver Stone, I think, is more odd than Spike Lee as far as the odd trajectory down. Yeah. Because Spike Lee, you see the ascension... And with Oliver Stone, you see the desensitization? I don't know.

I just swore off Oliver Stone when Platoon won Best Picture. Whoa, wait a minute. I'm not down with it. We're going to have a problem. I'm not down with that.

That's one of the greatest movies ever made. Platoon? So is Do the Right Thing. I've heard this before. I said Do the Right Thing is in my top 100.

Platoon is like a top 20, top 10. Yeah. No. Dualities. Sometimes I feel like I was born of both men, two fathers.

It's Lias and Barnes fighting for Charlie Sheen's soul. He hates the dialogue. I've heard this story before. It's the dialogue. I should have picked Platoon.

The dialogue in both movies, yeah, just drives me nuts. What part of the dialogue could you possibly. We're done. We'll do the right thing. Yeah, okay.

What part of Platoon... Again, it's just like... It's kind of like illustration. It's like somebody is writing at me instead of like... drawing me in. Like, by the time it gets...

I got a bad feeling about this one, Bob. How's it going, man? Not good, LT, not good. This cocksucker's got every car on the deck. Is that true with Sergeant Barnes?

Yep. What'd you say, LT? You want to join us? See, I like these movies better than you just do. These boys are probably trying to rape me.

So? What do you say I'm up to be, LT? Jewish? Jewish! How's that writing at you?

That's about as underground as you could be. Well, the joke is, if you want to be raped, you're somehow a Jewish person. Like John Reilly, just playing the stupidest Vietnam veteran ever. I don't know. I was watching Walking Dead last night, and there's this scene where Norman Reedus is like, you know, he's angry about this and angry about that.

And you can tell it's just messed him up that the little girl died. And they don't say that. Nobody ever says that. But you can tell, and they're writing it so that you can tell how people behave, and people don't say what they mean. All right, I'm going to give you some platoon things that's not written at you.

Yeah. Okay. They're all smoking opium in their forward operating base, and they're talking about how they should kill Tom Barringer, right? Yeah. And Charlie Sheen says, I say we fry that fucker tonight.

And he goes, let me tell you, the Puerto Rican guy goes, Barnes has been shot six times. Barnes ain't dead. Barnes ain't meant to die. Only thing to kill Barnes is Barnes. And off in the corner you hear, you all talking about killing?

You all experts? And all of a sudden they all freak. Out because they realize Barringer has heard their entire conversation. Right? Yeah.

And that scene, you think you're being written at? Because he goes, he walks in, he goes, well, I'd like to hear about it, Potheads. And he takes the hash pipe out of the Puerto Rican guy's hand, and he looks at the pipe, and he goes, y'all smoked this shit so as to escape from reality. And he leans up against the post, and there's a Christmas light. It's a perfect movie.

He goes, y'all smoked this shit so as to escape from reality. And he leans up against the post, and there are Christmas lights going across his head. And he goes... I am reality. Like, it's the most, and he goes, the way it ought to, the way it is, and the way it ought to be.

I got no problem what a man does, as he told, but when he don't, when we break down, the machine breaks down. Gentlemen, I can't have that. So it's like, Berender's whole rap in that scene, he could go in like, and go, you guys just fucking talking about killing me? Like, what's the, and then he goes into this sideways thing about like, the actual bureaucracy of the war. When the machine breaks down, we break down.

He knows his part, right? And he knows they love the foe so much. And he goes, y'all love lies. I get that. Y'all want to kick ass.

And then he says, there's six of you boys. You remember this? Okay. And I'm here all by my lonesome. Ain't nobody gonna know.

Kill me. Remember this? Vaguely. And there's a long beat. They all look at each other.

No one moves because they're frozen because he's got that scar on his face. And then Berenger says, ah, shit, I don't owe you. And it took me about 12 viewings before I. And I asked Charlie Sheen this on my podcast. Barnes really wanted them to.

Kill him because he can't fucking die. Watch that scene again. You can pull it up on YouTube. It's got German subtitles, so I think on YouTube a bit. And when you watch it again, Watch it knowing that Barringer, Sergeant Burns, really, it's a plea.

He's begging them. Kill me. And that's why he's almost crying when he says, it's not machismo, like, I could kick your ass, I shit on all you. He's crying, I shit on all you, because none of you guys have the fucking balls to do what I do all day, and that is just fucking kill Vietnamese people, and I'm begging you guys to kill me. And I think that's, I don't think that's being, I can't, it's how you feel.

It's not exactly what I'm talking about. I feel like I'm observing. Like, when Pesci, like, amuse you how? Do I amuse you like a clown? I always get uncomfortable watching it.

Like, I'm at the table, and I get super bugged out. Like, I don't, when I'm watching it on my couch, I don't move, because I don't want him to look at me next. Like, that's how I feel watching that scene. In Platoon with Berenger, where I'm like, uh-oh. Y'all talking about killing?

Y'all experts? visceral thing, I don't feel it. There's an incredible, enormous, fatal, fatal, fatal flaw in Platoon which makes it perfect. And it's when Defoe dies. Yeah, I haven't seen this movie. You haven't seen Platoon?

No, it's good that you're in a movie podcast. I know, it's really working out. It's a movie podcast with guys that haven't seen the greatest movies of all time. Yes. but I've seen Willy Wonka the new one twice. When Dafoe they Berenger tells everybody that Dafoe got killed but he because he doesn't have the balls to kill Dafoe himself so they leave without Dafoe and they look out of the helicopter and they see Dafoe running running to the landings of the LZ and Charlie Sheen's like he's fucking down there he lies down there make that chopper And there's like 400 Viet Cong soldiers chasing Willem Dafoe out of the jungle, right?

They look like ants. And then we get a closer look. And they just shoot him. They just light him up. And Dafoe drops to his knees.

And it's a shot from the ground looking up at Dafoe's front as he's getting shot by 40 Viet Cong. And it's perfect timing where the helicopter actually goes between Dafoe's arms. Like it's ridiculous how perfect the shot is his squids don't go off. There's no blood. You ever caught that?

But it's such a perfect shot that you can't do that over and go, well, maybe, it's like talking about trying to recapture the magic, like how do we make a helicopter go through his touchdown arms again when he's doing his Christ pose? Yeah. If they did it now, they'd do CGI. It's the sad thing. You know, Quentin Tarantino was on, I think he was being interviewed by Ron Bennington. talking about CGI, and he said, it's like training for a boxing match, movie making.

He's talking about why he never used CGI. He says, it's not fair. And Ron Bennington goes, how so? He goes, it's like training for a boxing match and hitting the bag and running and jumping rope and sparring, and then you get in the ring and the other guy has a machine gun. It's just completely not fair to use CGI.

Yeah. But yeah, none of Willem Dafoe's squibs go up. Yeah, but theatrically, seeing blood isn't absolutely necessary to a death scene. That's what makes it so perfect. That's what I'm saying.

And if he is the Christ figure in the movie, what's more perfect than the fact that he doesn't even bleed? He's not of us. He was never meant for all this. I don't know. I'm a huge platoon guy.

And you're wrong. You just answered the question from earlier, though, as to why I would start a movie podcast. Watching you talk about that and Being so in love with a movie, that's what I've found over the years now doing this. It's like sitting there watching people get that involved in a movie. You've got to get Greg Proops on your movie.

Because he'll pull like Sunset Boulevard and break it. Sunset Boulevard is a little too mainstream. But he'll get like Soldier in the Rain with Steve McQueen and Jackie Gleason and break it down to an elemental level where you're like, I never really went that deep with it, Greg. He was on my podcast, and we did like Baby Jane for like 20 minutes. But you are in the chair playing.

You would have treated me this way if I wasn't in this chair. My wife's obsessed with Joan Crawford. How fucking horrible she is. And I never thought she was particularly bad in anything. She's just crazy.

Everyone thinks she's really bad in everything. I love when Betty Davis does the impression of Joan Crawford to order booze over the phone. Hello. Am I feeling well? If I send my sister to pick up some alcohol.

But you are in a chair. Half the viewers just went, I'm not sure what's happening. Are they changing the dial? A conversation with me is like when you just move the radio knob real quick. So yeah, Do the Right Thing, and then Danny Ella got nominated, and he lost, and Ozzie Davis.

You know what? In hindsight, if I'm going to look back at Do the Right Thing, not great, pretty good, pretty damn good movie. Fred doesn't agree. But I'm going to come off of great and say damn good, and I'm going to say we should all go back and really study and appreciate the perfection that is Ozzie Davis. In a small role, which could have been just thrown away by somebody hamming it up.

The dignity he brought, that homeless man. And then he's indignant when he goes to buy Miller High Life at the Korean Deli, and they don't have it. They don't have it. And he's apoplectic. Like, he becomes an aristocrat.

Like, bro. Man, asking a lot, asking a man who changes malt liquor. I think it's impressive visually. I still think the way that he shoots it and the angles that he. Shoots things at.

It's the TV show Batman. Yeah, it's done in such an unconventional way that I still respond to that. And even he gets out of that. You watch his stuff now and it's so... normal. Inside Man was a straight up Hollywood movie.

It's like, why did you stray from that? Because I think that's one of the most... Because he wanted to get paid. That's what it is. Because the studio said.

You'll direct this with Clive Owen and Denzel, but we don't want any of your tricks. Yeah, we don't want weird shots. We want you to act white. God, that's what it's come to. Maybe.

But I think it's impressively balanced on the writing, and I think that's good. Fred doesn't like the writing. It's a different thing. I don't generally like message movies. I just, I don't.

I mean, so like, you know, Atticus Finch. Yeah. Same in the movie. What's more of a message movie than that? It's not one of my favorite movies.

Okay, good. I think it stinks. I think it stinks. I think Gregory Peck stinks. I remember the kid dressed as a ham.

I like that. Oh, and I like Robert Duvall in the last couple of minutes. No lines. No lines, yeah. I like Beaver.

Yeah, I just like him being there. It's so spooky. Yeah. With his dyed blonde hair. Because I forgot that was him.

And then you see it years later. It's like, it's baby Robert Duvall. Yeah, and you think he's going to rape everyone. I'm being serious. It's like a horror movie.

It's shot like, they shoot Duvall like he's Jason Voorhees. And he's just a guy that didn't talk. He's just a guy. Stand up, boy. Your dad is coming.

Do you like Gregory Peck? Yeah. He's horrible. Yeah. I don't know.

He kind of does one thing. Let me pick up that name. I'm sorry I dropped this. Eddie Murphy told me. There it is.

On the set of Pluto Nash. I don't, you know, I don't want to brag about my. I know you don't like message movies, but I was in Pluto Nash. And the message is, sometimes garbage gets funded. Sometimes the studio will throw money at garbage trash heaps.

Like Fraggle Rock. Because it was an actual trash heap. So was Pluto Nash. It's an allegory, really, the whole movie. It's the book of Matthew in outer space with Louis Gluthman.

Every now and then. The only reason I express my dissatisfaction with anything is because sometimes people can clue you in. You know, there are whole reams of stuff that I just don't, that just goes by me. It's not my thing. So you would like Platoon if there wasn't the voiceover where he explains to you that he feels like both men were fighting for his soul?

No. You wouldn't like it more? No. You like Blade Runner director's cut without the BL? I don't like Blade Runner.

Then you're just an odd guy. Blade Runner, to me, I can explain why I don't like Blade Runner. It's been explained to me that if I pay very close attention, that some of the human characters that I don't care about are actually androids that I don't care about. Why does that change the game? I saw the director's cut of Blade Runner at a theater.

And it was like four and a half hours long. Literally, it was four and a half hours long. Because there's no VO and everything has to play out in real time to somehow explain it. It's a movie that needs a VO because you've created another galaxy of life. And it's amazing to me that a director would bring this glop of shit.

To a studio like, no, this is the way. This is it? In the studio for once, because they are, listen, listeners, the studio is never right. Ever. But in this one case, the studio goes, I think maybe it should be two and a half hours long, maybe three hours long, maybe a voiceover so the audience knows what the fuck is going on.

And I've got to tell you the Eddie Murphy story real quick, but Brian Koppelman wrote walking tall he was a guest on my podcast and he did oceans 13 good writer and uh he said when they were rewriting walking was that the one with the rock walking tall yeah yeah he was brought on he didn't write it he was brought on to fix it him and his partner yeah he's like a play doctor yes and they had he did his pass him and his buddy and the studio goes it'd be really great uh it's great don't you know don't get us wrong we love what you did but we'd love it if the stick had a personality The stick. The stick. The two-by-four that he works with. It needs a personality. That was a studio note.

But Eddie Murphy told me what got cut out of Clumps for The Nutty Professor, when they're doing Cape Fear while watching Cape Fear, it's pretty impressive. That's pretty impressive. Yeah. When Sherman Clump is on his date with either Jada Pinkett Smith or Janet Jackson, I don't remember which gal it is, and they're watching Cape Fear in the theater. And then in the back, behind them is Buddy Love laughing like Robert Mitchum.

Or like, no, they're watching the Robert Mitchum Cape Fear. And behind them is Buddy Love laughing like De Niro in the new Scorsese. Like, yeah, hold that belly in, Robert Mitchum. I mean, that's so impressive and brilliant. And Eddie told me what the studio made him take out.

I'm gregory peck and i'm not breathing in this scene which is such a funny line and i go why he goes they're like you know he's a friend of the academy you're gonna make it i'm like but it's the clubs like a studio was like didn't want to upset gregory back in case he made a comeback at 90 yeah yeah but it yeah to me he always seemed like he wasn't breathing in. That scene I'm Gregory Peck. I'm not breathing. It's so funny. That's a good crossover, actually.

Mixing the two Cape Fears. And it never dawns on most people, like, they're doing Cape Fear, and they're doing the new Cape. Fear while they're watching the old Cape Fear. Ugh. That's more clever than I gave the clumps credit for.

And by the way, both Cape Fears suck. Yes. Thank you. They're both terrible. I hate Cape Fear.

Robert Mitchum is the only... Robert Mitchum is so scary as a regular-sized guy. De Niro's got the tattoos. The movie opens with him doing dips naked in jail. And then he's got a chain.

Counselor, come out, come out, wherever you are. And Robert Mitchum is just a guy with, like, a Hawaiian shirt and a hat. And there's one scene of him punching guys out under a boardwalk. You remember that? No.

And he's got, like, a four. It looks like his jab is four feet long. He's just dropping guys by himself. And when the cops come up to Robert Mitchum in the bar, he goes, Hey, I don't mind talking to you. You take that billy club out, fella.

You better call the riot squad. And that one sentence, you go, That's a scary fucking guy. I was in a gym in Buffalo doing stand-up. Not in the gym. That would have been really weird.

Doing stand-up in Buffalo. During the day, I visited a gym. And there's all, like, actors, muscle-bound and shit. And everyone's like, thanks for the workout, Lou Ferrigno. You know, hey, Jean-Claude Van Damme.

And there's a picture of Robert Mitchum, a headshot. And it said, y'all keep lifting weights. I'll stick to padded suits. Robert Mitchum. You guys know him?

The only other thing I wanted to touch on on Do the Right Thing was. Again with the Do the Right Thing! You picked it, it's not my fault. I shouldn't have. I should have spoken to Fred first.

You know, I'm being serious. Rocky Horror Picture Show, overrated, underrated, push. Probably in the real world... What do you mean, probably? Well, it depends on who you are.

Are you part of the cast? Because there's levels to Rocky Horror, so... Rocky Horror, over, under, or push. Over. Over.

Yeah, it's terrible. We know it's terrible. That's why it's great. I hate people that tell me something's great because it's terrible. Like, no, that's why Letterman's monologue is so great, because it's bad.

It's like a bad, it's an anti-monologue. No, it's bad. See, remember when you just told me it was bad? That's bad, because it's bad. It's Bechtian.

So do you like Ed Wood type things? I don't think I've ever seen an Ed Wood movie in my life. Really? You're on a movie podcast. I'm a guest.

I've seen many of those. I'm a guest. I've seen lots of Ed Wood movies, I just haven't seen for two. I've seen Ed Wood. Oh, well.

Ed Wood's pretty good. I love not with you. Did you like that? Rob Lowe and Piven and Thomas Chain. The guy that directed the Jeremy video.

That's like his big comeback. I'm out with you. You guys haven't seen it? Oh, I want to. I saw the trailer recently.

Really? Yeah, it looks pretty incredible. I'll tell you off mic. I can't tell you because I'll ruin it. Is this the one where they go up to the cabin?

Yeah. We've got three days and we're just going to do drugs and pills. Yeah. And things get a little south quick. Yeah, it looks pretty incredible.

Out of control. It's almost like rope. Nice. Rope. Overrated, underrated, push.

I don't know. I think it's underrated. Completely underrated. I think it's underrated. When I found out that the guys were gay, I had to watch it again and again and again.

He's like, we're gay? The actors or the characters? Characters. It's based on Leopold and Loeb. Yeah, that's true.

It's just the way that it's put together, it's amazing. I never saw it. Four, how many cuts? Five, six, whatever the number of reels are. See, all of them were kind of behind the back.

There's about one... This kind of legitimate cut, which was really jarring. But on purpose jarring. Yeah. It's very planned jarring.

All the cuts are somebody in a black jacket walks in front of the camera. Really? And then as they clear a frame, it's a new reel. You've not seen Rope? No.

What are you doing on a movie podcast? It's the right theme of this. I saw that movie filmed in the museum in Russia. It's all filmed in a single take. Yeah.

There's a horror movie that never has a cut. Really? With the Olsen. Twin sister yeah I heard about it because it's just what's her name Elizabeth Olsen yeah it's incredible did this come out recently. Yes the last couple of years what's it called I don't.

Know what it's called but it's incredible there's no I can't figure there's no cuts it. Just follows her through the house there are no I cannot see one cut in the entire movie Wow. And it's just all for the house. They were setting things up, yeah, because they were like, the directors had people like, he would be following her into a room over here. and things had to be different in the other room. He had people behind him changing things in the room.

She would come back through with the camera, and things would. I mean, he's going behind the camera changing things. It's funny how on film you can feel the mounting pressure of an extended shot. Like, you can feel like, oh, don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up. The cope of the fantasy in Goodfellas.

It almost gets kind of like. Crossing the. Street, I get nervous. Yeah. We're going to get hit by a car.

Yeah. Wow all right so do the right thing. Okay the only thing i was going to say is i'm re-watching it again this week and i'm like i was kind of it's before i checked the details and i'm doing the math and i'm trying to go well this is like a reaction to the real world at that time right and that's when i went back and went oh my god this was before rodney king yeah i mean it's weird how close this plays out that we have police violence on a black man, and then a riot breaks out. And this was two, three years before the L.A. Riots.

But it was after another one. Yeah I mean it's based it's based on another I like how in your white world you have like a half dozen there's only like a half dozen times that really. Happen no but I'm saying I'm saying that I mean come. On how many times really has a cop beaten up a black guy Rodney King and there was the other one before that that's the time they videotaped it that's how Fred sums up police violence there's a Rodney King and the one that was before it what was that called slavery I think it's called that's the one time they videotaped remember that time Yeah, that one time. But, I mean, that's the thing.

Remember that Onion story? Police use exact right amount of force. I don't know. I think that's amazing how it led. It's prescient.

Yeah, I mean, how it so closely sets that up. Because that's when you realize that the movie is supposed to be sort of this take on the way life is in America. And it obviously was pretty damn close because it all came true within a couple years. And to combat Fred's cynicism, I would like to think that Spike set up like this allegorical little world, this little neighborhood. I know it takes place in Bed-Stuy and they reference it a lot, but I don't...

I hope. But that's the thing with Spike is you don't know how much of it is on the nose and how much is like... Because. I'm sympathetic to Danny Aiello after, like, he goes back to get his money. And what Fred said in the interview, only white people ask that question.

Well, that's what Spike Lee says, but, you know, he says a lot of things. That's true. I mean, he said a lot of things. He was in a documentary, 30 for 30, it's about, like, Reggie Miller, how he accused of torture the Knicks. And Spike Lee goes, then all of a sudden, I'm on the back page of the New York Post.

Like, I'm a jinx. And look, I'm never in it for the publicity. He's in a room. There's framed New York Post. Like, him in the New York Post is framed.

Like, he doesn't even realize that's behind him as he's saying it. Little man. But I'm available, Spike. Seriously. I'll play it Italian.

No, I just killed your fucking brain. When you come to Sal's. There's no music, no rap, no music. No music. Perfect.

Yeah. Perfect. I like the theatricality of it, but it's the kind of movie I. Don't respond to. Can you watch it just for Ozzie Davis and go like, wow, this guy dies two years after this.

I like parts of it. I like parts of it. But I'm saying if you don't like it, can you watch it and just follow a guy and fast forward when he's not in? Like if you go, I'm just going to watch Ozzie Davis's I like that storyline. What I don't like is.

The blacks. Jesus Christ. Is it adding up to a message that I don't really know what to make of? Because I wouldn't ask the question, did he do the right thing? Not because....

It's just because I don't buy the world of the story by that point. I'm really not believing the characters all that much. I don't feel like I'm getting to know them better. I feel the director manipulating the story and direction. Very heavy-handed.

That's the thing that I have trouble with. I just feel the director taking me where he wants me to go and making people say what he wants them to say. When I think, really, people say a lot of stuff that isn't really what they mean. In that movie, people seem to be saying what they mean all the time. What are your favorite movies, Fred?

Oh, wow, I've got a lot of favorite movies. Just name a couple. Well, okay, I'm going to write off all of science fiction. I don't like science fiction. I'm with you.

But my favorite science fiction, which I think is really horror. You just wrote it off. Well, it's on the borderline. It's the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers. But it's really horror.

It has a science fiction thing to set it up. The one before the Sutherland one? Or is it the southern one? I don't know. No, the 40s.

No. Well, you never saw Rope. Don't give me a face. Yeah, it's one of my favorite movies of all time. A lot of favorite movies.

We were talking, I'm the only person in North America who's ever seen The Stone Boy. It's a great movie. Even people who are in it laugh at it. It's like nobody ever saw that movie. It's a great movie.

Name some of your favorite movies. Okay. How did this become a long thing? Uh, Tomorrow is a great movie. I don't even know what that is.

Robert Duvall plays an inarticulate mountain man. It's based on a Faulkner short story. It sounds like something Will Ferrell would say on Conan. Robert Duvall plays an inarticulate mountain man on Conan. Did you see Get Low?

He should have been nominated for Get Low. Time to get low. Did you see Get Low? No. He was not nominated.

They've got something. I think it got a lot of press that he didn't get nominated. He's the old crabby guy, hillbilly in town, and he realizes everybody in town hates him, so he just fakes his death. He wants to throw himself a giant. He doesn't fake his death.

I think I'm mistaken. He realizes he'll never be able to see his funeral, so he has his own funeral and attends it to see what people... You should go up and say a few words for me, though. Time for me to get going. Time for me to get low.

That's what he calls death. Time for me to get low. Yeah. Wow. Will you wrap up through the right thing?

Fred will name a movie he likes that we've heard of. Broadcast News. Okay. A great movie. One of my all-time favorites.

I'll be the judge of that. Holly Hunter? Yeah. She's four foot one. She's on Small People, Big World.

Coen Brothers movies. I love a lot of Coen Brothers movies. Didn't they just make a real stinker? I don't know. Just came out with something.

I love Barton Fink so much. Oh, yeah. The best part of Barton Fink, to me, is just when Buscemi just keeps saying, my name's Chet. My name's Chet. He writes it down.

And then he writes it down, and it's Chet! Exclamation point. I remember that. I love Steve Buscemi's stuff. Steve Buscemi's so...

You have no idea how funny he is in real life. You could put him... on The Office. Yeah. And he would, you could put him in any comedy, like Will Ferrell comedy, he would kill it. So that's why I'm a happy friend with the fabulous Burt Wonderstone.

Ghost World. Ghost World is good. I really liked him in that. He's, yeah, again. It's tipping automatically for the Burt's.

Oddly, sinners around him. He doesn't get movies very often. The world's smallest violin. These girls bust their wrists. Besides waitressing, a girl that didn't go to college.

This is the only job they can get. Give me my fucking book. Fucking Charlie Chan. Alright, sorry. I'm sleep deprived.

It's nap time. Let's wrap this up. I think we should. First of all, I'm thrilled that we got together. Thank you for having me.

I was glad to have you. I was glad you were up for it. Now I'm going to start a Kickstarter account on Twitter because I want to go to Hawaii. Everyone's got these bullshit like, we're doing a student film, kickstart. You know what?

Send me money because I want to stay at the Four Seasons in the big room. What kills me is. They get the money. That's what I'm saying. There's so many of them that people actually donate.

I need 20 grand because I'm going to fly two nannies with me. Nobody wants to donate money to us. I throw it out there all the time. We've got like one or two guys that actually donate. Okay, I got an idea.

You get a Kickstarter account for your podcast, okay? We'll get a nice round number. Five grand. I'll live with that. For the three of you guys to split.

And then film yourselves remaking Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Underrated. Oh, wow. Lucy was just talking about that. Underrated, right?

That was one of hers she would take in a zombie apocalypse. Yeah. Underrated? Underrated. Yeah.

So if you can get, yeah, if you can get people on board. Bad Lieutenant. Which one? Under Overpush. There's only one.

Actually, you know what? Yeah. The second one was actually good. I didn't see the second one. I didn't feel like seeing it.

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Nick Cage is a guy I always want to mock, and every time I watch him, I go, fucking guy did it again. He got me. He's hit and miss. But when he hits, he hits.

Peggy Sue got married. Oh, Peggy Sue. He was incredible in it. And he was, you know what? He sins bravely.

He's like Reggie Jackson. He swings for the fucking fence, and he may strike out 3,000 times, but not in a row. Every once in a while, he gets one. Reggie Jackson said to me, let me pick that up. I should have dropped the name.

He said, I struck out 2,500 times in my career. Now, I want you to think about that for a second. That's five years I never touched a baseball. Wow. But I didn't strike out in a row.

2,500 at-bats a year. That's five years in a 22-year career. He never touched the ball. But you just spread, you had to spread your misses out. You just keep at it.

Never knock me down, Ray. Never knock me down. Underrated. Hey, Ray. Yeah, that's one of my favorite movies.

I think it's the greatest movie of all time. Which one? It's my wife's favorite movie. And I'm so proud of that. Because she will not watch violence.

They robbed us because they're miserable because their. Mother's taking up the fucking ass. They're going to give him that fight because he's going in the army next week. Stay in the ring. Dunk it out of the fucking ring.

I know I've done a lot of bad things, Joey. Oh, this was your fucking shot. Pesci was great in that. Moriarty's like 30 playing 15. That's the only fatal flaw there.

She still looks good. The guy don't even want to fuck me no more. What do you think? You're right. You're not right.

You're wrong. Yeah, I made a lot of money off your brother. More than. Him. Bad Lieutenant Harvey Keitel.

Over under push. I'm going to say under. What the fuck do you have to do to get nominated for an Oscar? You jack off onto the side of a car and you call Jesus a rat fuck. Where the fuck were you?

You rat fuck! Where the fuck were you? I'm sorry! In that scene... I'm sorry!

I've done so many bad things! Then he kisses Jesus' feet as a homeless woman. That's... That's one of my all-time favorites, too. Bad Lieutenant.

You know what? Dude, the right thing just got fucking blasted out of my head. Fuck you, the right thing. It sucks. It's like watching fucking Batman and Sesame Street.

It is kind of like that. I like when Spike Lee and John Turturro walk up the wall of the building, but they tilt the camera sideways. Oh, yeah, that's cool. They act like they're walking up a building. All right, I gotta go, gentlemen.

All right. Thank you, Alan. Thank you, Brian. Thank you. And thank you, motherfucking Fred.

That's my homeboy right there. Thank you. We good? Yeah, I think we got it. Thank you.

Fred, you know what? You convinced me. Fuck you. Oh, good. I know I just need to go across the country convincing people one by one.

Well, with that, I guess we should give him his plug since he's wandered off. Again, it's jaymoore.com, and you can get his stand-up dates and get all the links to his podcast and everything else Jay is up to, aside from hanging out with us. Otherwise, I guess that about does it. Thanks once again to The Improv for letting us loiter around in here. Specifically, Amber was very cool and helped us out here, so...

Thanks to everybody here, and otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week, same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening. Fellas, I want you to listen to me, because I know y'all will know what I'm talking about here today. Now dig.

Let me tell you about a girl I know. Every time I let my feelings. Show, I sing this same old song. How come every time I try to put my. Best foot forward, all I wind up doing is putting it in my mouth?

Somebody's got to tell me. I keep trying to do the right thing, but I keep doing it the wrong way. Every time that I try to do the wrong thing, I keep. Doing it the wrong way. She starts to sneeze.

I didn't know that she had allergies. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I told her I apologize. And I make it up to you. This is Jimmy.

Because I was trying to do the right thing. But I keep doing it the wrong way. Every time that. I try to win her over, I keep doing it the wrong way. A four-course meal, she calls me.

I even took her to my crib, and she threw my place in shock! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to please the kind of girl. Whose tastes are particular. Man, this girl's about to break my back.

I keep trying to do the right thing, but I keep doing it the wrong way. Every time that I try to win her, I'm in trouble. I keep doing it the wrong way. I keep doing it the wrong way. Yeah, yeah.

But I keep, but. I keep, but I keep doing it the wrong way. Every time that. I try to win her love, I keep doing it the wrong way. Lookie here now.

I'm trying to Put your. Hands together. Listen to me, people. The time has come for Lover's Lane. How was I supposed to know it was going to rain?

So I called. Her up to make a manganese. And she agreed to see me once again. But this time she brought her ugly friend. I guess that's how the story ends.

Yeah! I keep swallowing food. I keep doing it. The wrong way Every time I try to win her lovin' I keep doing it, I keep doing it The way I used to like to do the right thing I keep doing it the wrong way. Every time I try to win her lovin' I keep doing it the wrong.

Way I know y'all know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Don't you try to do the right thing. Turn it to the right thing, baby. Don't you keep trying to put my best foot forward.

Instead, I put it. In my mouth. Well, that's right. So I love me. You, you are something.

That's right. Well, you can't say I don't love you here in Dallas, Mr. President. No, you certainly can't. brain. You never know when a chunk of your chestnut-colored skull will sail out of a limo.

Marilyn, tongue my balls. You're listening to Mr. Senior Love Daddy on Wheel of FM. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Auditude Studios, with opening music performed by the Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com.

Talk hard!