202: The Yeti Spaghetti Show

A warm welcome to you all. Hope you'll soundly enjoy our program. I'm listening to Movie Meltdown because I'm John Saxon and I like to. Do that. I'm listening to Movie Meltdown.

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor. Pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up, and welcome to Movie Meltdown!

I am Brian, and however way you have found yourself here, you. Are at the Yeti Spaghetti Show. It's been quite a process. I came up with this idea years ago, probably about when the show started, and it's taken this long to make it happen, so I'm amazed it came together. But, you know, we have a nice sculpture, a dancing yeti, and it's pretty impressive, actually.

If you're not familiar with the show, we are. A movie geek podcast. Many of the people seated here are on it, so they know better than everybody else how terrible it is. If you go looking for it on iTunes, you'll see it's got a lot of explicit tags. We earn those every week, so just fair warning.

We usually are rated. We'll try to control ourselves tonight, but there's no guarantees. Hello everybody. Sorry to be getting started late here. I'm glad.

I'm very glad to see 20 people. I'm sorry. Up where the evening dawns on All. The river rolls on by. The neighbors say I tell sea trips Oh, the neighbors say I tell lies Somewhere a plane.

Went down Oh, it can never be stopped. All right, we're. Coming to you live from the kitchen. We're here with our chef Christian. How excited are you?

Woo! Super excited. How much of a pain in the ass has this process been for you? It's more of a pain in the hand. Pain in my wrist.

You better explain that. Knowing our listeners, you better explain that. I'll leave that to personal interpretation. However you take that to mean. Alright.

We're getting ready to get this show rolling here. Oh look, food's ready. Meatballs. Are they done? I don't know.

I'm waiting on the thermometer. Hey, I think they're done. Meatballs. Thank you guys. Very much.

Back before I won the movie star I was straight up out on the floor And I had a picture of another lady's. Wife I'm heading out to Hollywood, just to have a little fun. Every town will make me crazy. I did want to point out the Yeti cakes are available now if you're ready for dessert. Our own Christian has put them together, so it's pretty impressive, and they're delicious.

Each one is adorned with a Yeti face. They're quite impressive, and adorable. But yeah, buy a box, take them home. She does have a take-home option, I believe. When we got out of the finest.

Land, the great broads seemed left hand, the northern. Scouts might be in the. Face of many good men. Wake a crowd pure and true, stand. Like lords in the.

Bending pool. The war is over now. The war is over. The war is over. And otherwise, just thanks to the people who helped put this together.

It's been a ridiculous process, actually. So to run it down, thanks for James for sitting it up here and putting the music out there for us. So thanks to James. Once again, Christian, our chef, I think we should applaud for her because she's. About killed herself this last, I don't know, a year or so ago when I started roping her into this nonsense.

It's a shame it took that long to bring it together, but you know. Yeah, I was pretty sure she was going to have a heart attack this past. Week, so... Don't deny it now. Oh, what else?

Um, Juliana, who is now out front dancing around. So, go up and say thank you. Before she passes out before the night's over with, because I'm assuming it's really hot in that outfit. Um, what else? Steve for the awesome ice sculpture.

So, um, he does actually do that professionally, I would say, obviously, if you look at it. So, um, It is LouisvilleIceSculpture.com, so go to their website and order yourself up a Yeti. Or he probably does other things, probably like boring weddings and nonsense. But no, screw all that. Just go with a Yeti.

Even if you're having a wedding, Yeti is the way to go. Dave, Beau, for giving me equipment I didn't have to do the rest of this process. And otherwise, just anybody else who's. Helped spread the word. It's... hard finding an audience with a show like this.

So anybody who's done their part with just word of mouth, you know, we appreciate it. So thanks to the guys who are here every week on the show. We can't do it without you either. So with that, I'd say we get this official cinematic version of the show going. So thank you for coming out.

No way No way No. A small band of men on a perilous search for the man-beast of Tibet, the abominable snowman of the Himalayas. You've heard of him, haven't you? The world's most shocking monster. No one's ever lived who's seen him.

Be on your guard. He's coming to this theater. The abominable snowman dares you. We dare you. Dare you to see the abominable snowman of the Himalayas.

What did it look like? Tell me, what did you see, Kusang? Tell me. I see, I see what men must not see. Warning.

Only those with stout nerves and strong hearts should risk seeing the abominable snowman of the Himalayas. Oh, you're my father's son You never know when you'll shine. I ain't born to know I am my father's. Son In the mood for hot coffee? When you are, nothing else will satisfy.

Coffee has a flavor, an aroma, a deep-down satisfying goodness all its own. And our coffee has something extra, the care with which we brew and serve it. You'll enjoy the show more while you're enjoying steaming hot coffee. Come and get yours now. Dave, I do not get superheroes.

Oh my God, I don't get you. What don't you get? Tower bot here. Well, the meatbags were going to say that if you're a geek and like podcasts, then you could try Tower of Technobabble at www.toweroftechnobabble.com. Then this started.

Well, it's up to you. I'm gonna get my taser and put a stop to this. Towerbot out. Okay, monkeys. It's nap time.

And by the night. I came here with the Lord. It's so much lighter. Now that you're. Here Honey, you should know.

We'll never go on without you. We'll never go on. Without you. Durable and designed to sound great for both music and those chatty podcasts, like the one you're listening to now. Tweaked Audio earbuds come with a one-year warranty, and now there's a special deal for Movie Meltdown listeners.

Just go to tweakedaudio.com, and when you check out, enter the discount code MELTDOWN. Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. I'll try to do a song with that.

We were taught that she'd be here if. I should let her stay. Why can't we pretend that she won't come to play? Just another girl looking for a world. That's not out of place.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the eighth wonder of the world. Movie Meltdown's Yeti ice sculpture. A more impressive feat humanity has never achieved. Get your own amazing ice sculptures. Go to lovalicesculptors.com and tell them Movie Meltdown sent ya.

And then, bask in the glory. You want it, oh. She got it All the demons gonna change her mind Oh all the demons in your mind. You want it, oh she got it All the. Demons gonna change her mind She's got your home, you'll get the world I.

Thank you guys. Very much for coming out here today. Hi, this is Dick Miller, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. You and your shortcuts. I told you to turn west at East St.

Louis. Yeah, I know. Way I figure it. We're somewhere in the Himalayas Mountains. That's pronounced Himalaya.

Himalayas? Why, you four-legged Marco Polo, that's in Asia. Himalayas. No wonder it's so cold. Look there.

I've got a wonderful idea. Let's... Well, do me a favor, will you? Just don't do me any more favors. You just stay right here.

And study to be a snowshoe rep. I'm going back to Perth Ambulance. Ah! Oh, what a cute little pink bunny rabbit. Just what I always wanted, my own little bunny rabbit.

I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him. And squeeze him. I'm not a bunny rabbit. And pat him and pet him and. You're hurting me.

And rub him and caress him and. I will make him joy. And I will hug him and squeeze him and pet him and pat him and. Hey. Hey, what do you know?

He melted. He really was a snowman. Abominable, that is. It's time for Tales from the Cryptids. Tales from the Cryptids.

All right, so we are back with this week's Sofa Theater feature, and this time it doesn't really count because we were out in the world. So we were technically, you know, it's an Italian spaghetti feature. It's not one of those westerns, I suppose, but it was Italian. So to bring in. We've lost most of the audience here, which I told them to run for their lives.

It's for their own safety, really. But to bring in who is sitting here out of our normal crew. Go ahead. I'm Ben. I'm Beau.

I'm Greg. I'm Alan. And the previously mentioned Christian has joined us. And yeah, so you not only had to put up with the movie, but you had to make all the. Damn food to go along with this event.

Yeah, it was a lot of food. It's way too much food is what it is. It was delicious. It was good. Very good food.

And Brian, I appreciated the straight bagels. They were good breadsticks. I'm telling you it's a different process. Is it not? Done differently?

Those are not bagels. See? Thank you. Those are not bagels. People who know bagels.

I mean, maybe down the street. That was what we consider bagels, but not here. When you go to the grocery and you buy a bag full of what they call bagels. Talking to bagel geeks here. We know the difference.

Yeah, it's... that was a very different thing they. Walk into other bagel places and take a bite and just throw down what they just. Bought you don't make it that far you just make it in and go and turn around. You guys liars anyway I had. To smother this with so much cream cheese to make an.

Edible I walked in here so yeah you for some reason decided to join us so thank you for sitting in and enjoying the fun that was Yeti. Yeah, sure. So, for the details, this week's Italian food feature is, again, one of the Tales. From the Cryptids session, which is oh so popular these days. We're hitting that a lot more often.

So, in the subsection, the Yeti Files, this time we're watching Yeti, a.k.a. Giant of the 20th Century... Take your pick. The latter seems more applicable. If you look it up on IMDb, that's what it is.

It's Giant of the 20th Century. But the title on the screen says Yeti. So, yeah, they just jam the two together, I suppose. Or Yeti. Not Yeti.

No, it's not pronounced. It's all jacked up. How were they pronouncing that? I couldn't really. It sounded weird.

She was very specific on, like, her pronunciation. It was like, Yeti. I was like, what? Yeti. But, like, everything else was dubbed in normal.

We're getting ahead of ourselves. So, the year is 1977. The director, pardon me while I totally jack up some Italian. Just do it like Mario and it'll sound great. Hey, it's-a me, a Mario.

Gianfranco Parolini. Thank you. The plot, according to IMDb. Oh, wait. IMDb doesn't even have a plot for this.

That's how special this movie is. It is speechless. It doesn't know what to make of the movie. So they find a giant Yeti and he gets some kids and an adventure ensues. There you go.

So, yeah. Where would you like to begin with Yeti, giant of the 20th century? It was kind of a Sergio Leone shot. You mentioned that. It got the zoom in on the eyes, and that's immediately what I thought of.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know if it's the same camp, really. No, but, you know. It was nice. It was nice to see.

The director had a fascination with helicopter blades. Yeah. I looked at him and I was like, man, he could make a serious drinking game out of. Every time you see just the helicopter blades. He put John Carpenter to shame.

As far as just being obsessed with way too long shots of helicopters taking off and setting down. It was crazy. And even contraptions for carrying people. What was with that? Greg and I were kind of pointing out, if you look at the scale of the Yeti containment booth, Dr.

Whovian sort of container... As it's in flight, it makes the Yeti only about 10 to 12 feet tall, but yet somehow when it lands and it drops it off, it is now... 50 to 100 feet tall, if not more. I mean, how big is the Yeti would you estimate? Sometimes, except later when they walk past him, they're up to, like, his knees.

Right. So he's not that big. They're having scale issues on this little guy. It kind of reminds me of Night of the Lepus in that sense. Our beloved Night of the Lepus.

Sometimes the rabbits are as big as just, like, you know, a large dog. And other times... It's a dump truck. Yeah, sometimes it's climbing over a dam. Yeah, you.

It's very inconsistent in that movie and this movie. Yeti had like the most expressive face. Ever, though. That guy. I was going to say what John Stamos did before Full House.

I don't know. What? Let's establish this first. This wasn't like a stop motion or a person. This was just a dude.

With a lot of facial hair. This was the Yeti. The caveman from the Geico commercial. Yeah, it was that. I think he had the same chest piece that Ricardo Montalban wore in Star Trek 2.

What? He wasn't that ripped? What are you talking about? Oh, man. Oh, yeah, we have to throw out the spoiler alert.

God forbid we ruin this for you. Spoiler alert on Yeti. This is spoiling it for no one. No, we're not. This can only make you want to watch it more.

Yeah. I don't think we're doing this movie a favor. I don't know. I really liked it. I was having a fantastic time.

Oh, I did too. I had a fantastic time with it. It's right up our alley. I'll put it that way. But, yeah, I don't know.

I think what I'm most. amazed by is just like the stuff that they did have. I'm like, they had a helicopter. I mean, he was pretty proud of that helicopter too. Well, and the whole thing was, if he was that obsessed with the helicopter and they had it that, you know, available, why is it that when the Yeti first got away, they went after the Yeti on foot? Because that's how you switch for a Yeti.

They even called for a boat when they have a helicopter. Exactly. But, like, even at the beginning when they're, like, when they're thawing them out, they've got flamethrowers. I mean. Yeah.

We don't have enough time. We have to do this as we're making the trip midair. We have to thaw them in the air. Like, we can't. We have flamethrowers.

That was my other favorite reviving, like. what if your hospital decided we're going to revive you, but we have to take you way up in the air? It's tough to think that, oh, this giant monster might go apeshit when. We wake him up in the sky like this. Exactly. It's a perfectly legitimate thing to do.

It's like, after he's been dormant for one million years, let's wake him up inside of a glass box, you know, 2,000 feet above the ground. After we burn him with flamethrowers. We'll have the gas freighter to go just in case. Just in case. Oh, wait, we left the windows down.

Pour warm water all over him. And then shock him. And then we touch down back on the ground and open up the entire container and all the gas pours out. I hope that you like him and I hope that you like us too. Now, here you go.

Like both scenes in the movie where they landed the Yeti in a giant public crowd. There was never like a boundary or like a fenced off like perimeter. They just landed. People were literally standing next to that giant telephone booth. They walked next to it.

Then 10 seconds later, he breaks out. It's like they did not remember this the first time. He went on a rampage. Surprisingly, few people died, though. Yeah, right.

Well, he was a nice, peaceful... I know, but still, when he's all pissed off... It's almost like the time for someone to die. Yeah. Well, I guess at this point, we should bring up the fact that anybody who's seen the movie made a third of the way in.

I'm sure there's a large demographic. Everybody who's seen this movie. I'm just talking, once you get. Because that's the guy who was here earlier, who came to the show. He was like, Yeah, it was about ten minutes in, and I was like, they're just ripping off King Kong.

Oh, yeah. This is the year after the Dino version of King Kong came out, and it's really, really obvious. Yeah. There's so much of it stolen from that, and then, like, not the good stuff. Because at least, and that's what made me think of it, because I'm like, At least in King Kong, they chain him up.

Now, granted, we all know those chains aren't going to hold him, but there's some sort of them pretending like, oh, he's under control. He's not going to rampage the city. we're here like they bring him that second time they open the door. He's just they let him jump out yeah and that was the. Thing that sort of confounded me i thought okay when i saw at the beginning he breaks out and he starts attacking the crowd i was like okay this is going to the king kong thing but we're going to get that out of the way in the first 20 minutes and then we'll move on to something original it's like no we're just going to do it again an hour from now. Yeah it's like when we hit the reset button only instead of like the mountains it was just in what was like montreal.

Or someplace toronto italy italy yeah italy what am i yeah of course it wasn't it was all in italy they have a lot of canadian flags though and they had kids in toronto. Blue jays hats there you go shot that scene one day that's. Real they have blue jay hats and they're holding the sign that says like yay yeti or whatever that was yeah i i don't. God, I mean, this movie's editing was so damn surreal. It just kept...

It's sloppy? I've seen times where people were cut off mid-sentence to just show. It like they're talking and then there's just a car flying towards the screen. I was like, what? I was talking.

What was he trying to say? The movie reminds me of most dreams I've had where it's like. I remember these fragments. And there's like connections between the fragments, but they're loose. It's like there is some sort of running theme.

It's like I don't know how I got from this point to this point. It's like I was inside of this building at nighttime in my dream, and the next thing I know I'm on the road and it's daytime, but it's still the same dream. And you're in the mountains. And I'm in the mountains. And all of a sudden the girl's walking down the street.

Yeah, exactly. Like a zombie. And the dog has managed to travel 20 miles. to the outskirts of the city at the same speed as the police to get there to show you that it did not die. It's still bloody, though. That was attention to detail there.

That was wonderful. Just back and forth. It went on for so long. That's one thing that. The Dino version didn't have was just about 50 non-sequitur shots to a dog.

I like that we would do that. At some point, I don't even know if he was written into the story, but maybe in the editing room. He was like, you know, I filmed a lot of this dog. I need to work him into the story. So they went back and made shots where the dog gets stabbed and he comes back and there's this whole B story with the dog and shows up at the very last shot.

Or maybe he was. Trying to make some sort of art film out of it. It's not the Yeti's story. It's not anyone's story. It's the dog's story.

It's all about the dog. Well, I mean, I do like that it would go through the reaction shot of the crowds and then just the reaction shot of the dog. Just the dog. Just the dog. Do you think they had a backup plan?

Like, okay, if this whole Yeti thing falls through, we've got a good. Lassie. A good Lassie Yeti. Right? We have no women putting on their glasses and looking shocked.

And you have other people running in panic and just catching the dog. It's like, I'm happy. I'm happy. You can just see the movie as like either a Yeti monster movie or a really long Lassie episode that's really weird and it just, they have, the dog has, Lassie has to save his owners from this giant monster. That was, I mean, that one moment when the dog runs back to get the doctor or scientist And, like, when.

He's just barking at him, and they're like, what is it, girl? And there's, like, five seconds where the scientist is, like, trying, and he's like, what, okay, what? No, I don't understand what you're saying. It was like he was speaking in a different dialect, and then all of a sudden he's like, oh! Yeah, yeah.

And it's like, what is it, girl? Yeti fell down the well. Lead us there. Yeah. Suddenly he just, he keeps looking at the dog, and all of a sudden his vision pans about two feet over to the right, and he just says, like, oh, wait, there's a foot there a giant foot.

The yeti ran through the lake to throw us off the trail oh we would have never known if the dog hadn't led us to. The giant he's a hundred feet tall we can't find him. We can't spot him over that mountain over there but he he ditched us. I was just like later on when they lose him in. The city it's like Because he's not quite tall enough to be too.

He can hide behind a building and everyone will be like, wait, where'd he go? This shit goes back to normal in the city and I guess he went away. And he comes back in that shot where people are just walking and he just pops out from. Behind the building like, hello? There's no noise.

No one hears him coming. Like, he just sneaks up behind him. He sneaks up behind him. How many people does he surprise? Like, all the different kinds?

Here he is. I mean, even the kids, when they're just like, shh, he's going to get, and he's just there. I'm like, they're in a valley. I'm like, you didn't see him? Well, and not only that, I mean, you'd think they would hear him, because did anybody else notice how it sounded like every time the Yeti walked, he was like, in a Western wearing cowboy boots.

Like I was sitting there going, wait, isn't he in the mountains? Like, why does this sound like, you know, there should be like a player piano. Maybe the actor just had boots on. He just didn't feel like taking them off or something. Or maybe there wasn't, there.

Wasn't, they couldn't afford any costume below like his shins. I keep it all like the face you know the expressions well. I mean the giant version they had only went up to the shin so they had to balance it out somehow like we're just not going to shoot him from the shins down. That's right I had this little wish going on the entire film thinking that if I could somehow you know recreate it in real world if I could make that take the reins if I could make that Charlton Heston in that Yeti suit it would make it so much better For some reason, I kept envisioning him being Charlton Heston. I think it might have been some of the switch.

He had that way that he could switch from like a joy or innocent joy that he's looking on something and all of a sudden just be upset. I see that he is now indeed a damn dirty ape. It's like, ah. Now, see, if you're gonna go, like, really expressive, I would go Kirk Douglas over Charlton Heston. Yeah.

That would be good. Go as classy as you can with it, man. Yeah, that guy. His face. God knows this movie needs it.

His face. Like, you cannot describe the looking at his face. Like, it's so amazing. And horrifying and traumatizing all at the same time, really. It's That guy's face.

I don't know what. And I believe I read that just before this, he was just in. That like super major budget, like mainstream Jesus of Nazareth miniseries. And, like, he came to Yeti. We were.

Talking about it. It's like, he looks like Jesus. He's a really big Jesus. That's so great to know that. I'm not sure he was Jesus.

Do not destroy that illusion. I'm not even going to say it. We aren't going to watch the series. We're not even going to look it up on IMDB. Yeah, he's totally Jesus.

Yeah, many times you said, yeah, look, it's Harry Jesus. Jesus was a Yeti. Oh, it makes so much sense now. It explains the symbolic Christ figure pose. And he even had the gunshot stigmata in his hand.

Yeah, exactly. And remember the scene in Jesus and Nazareth when he licked it? Remember? And he healed the. Dog, too.

That's why the dog came back. Exactly. The dog's like Lazarus. The whole thing is an allegory. It's like him being at one with nature.

I think I see that. And he fed them fish. Oh my gosh. What? It's so perfect.

You kids go forth and be a fisher of yetis. Which I guess that makes the Honeycutt character kind of like the Pontius Pilate. He sort of fits it. Was it Howard Honeycutt? Was that his name?

I think so, yes. I was like, Are they going for Howard Hughes? Are they seriously having this crazy rich eccentric who has all this money and does all these bizarre things in his HH? It's pretty fitting, I suppose. And the boyfriend could be Judas.

Although he doesn't betray the Yeti. He sort of betrays the Yeti. He betrays his girlfriend, which is basically betraying the Yeti. He's a dick to everybody. How about that?

He's a dick. Yeah. See, you were able to follow the plot more than I could. I was like, okay, I know that Baron Harkonnen here, he's the benevolent rich guy who doesn't really know what's going on, but I don't really know what's going on either. Somebody's betraying him, and something's happening.

Yeah, I didn't understand the whole vote, and he's the new president of a new corporation. Why was that necessary? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The intricacies of this plot.

That was the point where I did lean over to Greg and I was like, I feel like something's happened. I don't know what, but something is happening in this movie. Well, that's about when it kicked in. You can go ahead and tell them what we put in the spaghetti now. It took a little while into the movie before it kicked in, but yeah, you started seeing.

Anyway, never mind. We're slipping drugs into our straight bagels. Straight bagels. Oh, my God. I have to say, this movie had one of the most amazing monster death-like kills.

In any movie I've ever seen. And you know what I'm talking about? What happened was this guy, when he's stepping on this guy, you're like, oh, he's going to squash him. It's like, no, he raises his foot up. And the guy's like, oh, no, he's not going to kill me.

He's like, maybe he's turned nice again. Doesn't he even thank him? He's like, thank you. I think he does. He kind of thanks him.

He's like, thank you. And the foot is raised at his waist. And suddenly when you think, you know, nothing's going to happen, like the foot just like jabs forward. And he strangles the guy using his big toe and his middle toe. It's so great.

Usually I just do this move to pick up my car keys, but this time it was such a brilliant fake out. Like the timing of it was just like, oh shit, no, you thought I was going to. I think the reason why they did that is like, okay, we've got the foot. It really can't move. We can't squash because we can't do that mess on the floor.

It's not going to... We can't pull that off. But he could pretend like his neck's broken. He really had to arrange his neck so it slid into. Not go left or right.

Imagine assuming you didn't watch this, which that's your own fault, really. But a giant paper machine... foot coming down the gutter. Because it's not quite the King Kong foot that looked relatively good. These were a little. Granted, they.

Had a much smaller budget, I'm assuming, but yeah. See, I kind of wonder how much people saw of the monster. The premiere. Yeah. Because...

Because he was a ghost? I'm trying to remember, yeah. I'm trying to remember the name of the main actor in The Giant Claw, if you've ever seen that film before or not. But I want to say it was Forrest Tucker, but it might not have been. But anyway, I just read this story to where apparently the first time that all the main cast saw The Giant Claw itself, I mean, it was supposed to be basically this giant radioactive bird that came out of this interdimensional portal and is just like picking up trains, eating people left to right, and when you see it, it's like a Muppet on acid.

It's the most absurd, laughable thing, and apparently when it first appeared on the screen, the audience at this premiere started laughing, and the main cast walked. Out of the premiere. They never saw the end of it. Oh, man. And I just wondered if something similar was the case where they saw it, and they're like, that's what we were reacting to?

That? Well, again, the special effects on this, the The laying of his image into the scene is, again, not quite perfect. No, since he's transparent half the time. He's the ghost of Yeti. A truck drives through his foot.

Well, people walk through his foot quite often, actually, in those distant shots. But it wasn't just. You also get that weird glow around him, which, again, maybe just because he's Jesus. I don't know. But that weird glow that they can't quite get rid of when they're putting in the special effect.

But. The other, like, it's not just him. Like, what killed me was, like, the layering of shots of, like, just, like, the kids and the city and, like. It looked like they were hovering. Yeah.

It looks like you're in front of a green screen, but they didn't have that in 1977. So what the... Why couldn't you just go and shoot these shots with people in it? Like, why they had to. piece together three separate shots of different things and have them all look like they're. Looking at the wrong thing and reacting wrong.

It's so weird the way they lay out. In the middle, there's a whole run of them when they have that big triumphant return to the city shot. There was one of those that really weirded me out because I had that too, but then in the last one, one of the people from the background ran out into the foreground. That just got really weird. I don't know.

Did you all notice, like, before he was fully thawed, like, the image of his face kind of looked like the Shroud of Turin. I was just sitting there going, that, is it just me? And, like, they kept going back to that shot, and I. Was just like, that looks kind of like Jesus. In a way.

It's all coming back around. Yeah, it really is. And they even did, the strings came in when you could first see the Shroud of Turin Jesus face. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, what are they going for here?

Before he started melting, that's not how you described him, Ben. What was... When he was standing there at the beginning. What? A melted G.I.

Joe. Oh, yeah. No, it was a G.I. It looked just like a melted G.I. Joe.

When they were... He was, like, still on the ice, and they kept cutting to him like he was hanging from the crane. It's like, once we unfreeze him... And just, like, I was just shot. It was melted plastic something.

It was just... It was totally... Like, it wasn't... It clearly wasn't ice. It was, like, all white.

You know, it didn't... Really frozen ice. You need to Jeff Goldblum in there at that moment. Just because you can doesn't mean that you should. Must go faster.

Must go. That was later in the movie. I mean, I did get kind of a Jurassic Park vibe from, like, when they're using the flamethrowers at the beginning, and it's like, ooh. I mean. Watching it early on, I was like, I feel like this movie, it has a lot of heart.

They're trying to do the best they can with what they got. But then about halfway through, I just feel like somebody just threw their hands up and said, fuck it, we just got to finish this thing. We've got a bunch of footage of cars driving. Your daytime is supposed to be night? Who cares?

What are we going to do with all the stock footage of Toronto? Who cares? Literally, the opening shot is someone with their fucking Super 8 camera or whatever. At the top of some built. Like skyscraper in Toronto, like looking through the windows, you can see the handlebars of like outside the windows and you're just moving from window to.

It's so like badly done. It's like a tourist like video. Greg was always watching. I was like, it reminded me of the scene in Ed Wood where he goes to the film depot. He's like, Oh, I could make a whole film out of stock footage.

And he's just stops and thinks I could make a whole. Yeah. Oh, wow. That scene where he's climbing down the building and smashing all the windows down. That was kind of a brilliant set piece.

It was, like, horribly put together, but the idea of it, like, it's an awesome set piece. Like, oh, wow, like, she's hanging on the elevator. He's trying to reach her, and all the people get off, and he can't grab her because the elevator falls down, and she's hanging on for dear life. So he, like. climbs down the building, like, smashing every window with his foot as he's climbing down. Intentionally.

Intentionally. Because it's fun. I mean, come on. We'd all do that if we were giant. And all those shots of the, you know, apartment complex.

That the all-time million-dollar corporation is at the top of. Yeah, people just live there, too. It's, like, in one room. Actually, I like that shot, like watching it from inside their house as we know the foot's coming. I mean, what a very drab apartment complex to where, I mean, really the setup of.

Every apartment was exactly the same, the same curtain. It's like a really one big room. It's like a one-room apartment. Actually, no, maybe it's just a hotel. That would make more sense.

But they're having dinner in a hotel room. He ordered in. Yeah, but he had a dinner table. He ordered that, too. It's a really fancy hotel.

That's how they do it in Canada. That's our fallback. For the Yeti to climb down. 32 stories to catch her at the bottom instead of climbing down just a couple and then reaching. Over i didn't quite see how that that worked if we.

Want to go into that part of the story like why did he yank the elevator shaft i mean like first of all why did he even pay attention to that elevator specifically the one she was in ironically enough but like i don't know It's not like, again, we're knocking off King Kong. It's not like in King Kong when there's a giant train going by and he sees it and reacts to it and it kind of pisses him off that it's going by. But, like, he wouldn't see an elevator inside of a building. He doesn't know how an elevator works. No.

And he's, like, reaching down in. It's not like it was up there. It's not even like it was a glass elevator. It's like he's trying to get the chips in a Pringles can. Yeah, he's shoving it in his arm.

How do I get these people out? It's frustrating. Yeah. He's beating them up. That's what it is.

Dude, you just got to poop it up and pour it around. There's no whole people in here anymore. It's just crumbly. Broken bits of people. Sometimes you just got to let the last pringle go.

There's like three. Whole people in this elevator and just a bunch of broken bits of people. Happens every time I get in an elevator. Sometimes you got to let the last pringle go, man. Oh, Lord.

Yeah, and that. She fell 32 stories and landed. On his head. We know it's 32. Because we see.

I thought that was a touch of realism there. She grabbed your neck. Obviously, it was a rough fall. Also, an old lady, I'm pretty sure, got sent to the hospital. After that scene was filmed.

After that crowd just pulverized her climbing out of the elevator. That was the. Best part was watching that because there were several people that just totally screwed over. Again, it's just realism, really. Because, yeah, there's the guy that shoved the old lady out of the way.

And then by the last guy that was in there that shoved our heroine out of the way, just, like, about kicked her in the face. And I'm like, this is how it would really work if a giant creature was attacking the elevator. In any, like, regular movie with, like, an actual budget, like, the set for the elevator, that would be a set. It wouldn't be putting a bunch of people on a real elevator and making them climb out. Like, that's totally safe.

We'll let them do that. Tell everyone goodbye. Alan's leaving. I'm leaving. Good night.

Good night to everybody. Good night. Bye. Hope you don't get your neck broke by a giant creature on the way home. Their toe.

He only kills people he hates, which is not very many of them. That's true. He likes most people. Kiss the Yeti ice sculpture on your way. Don't forget your Yeti Bakteen in case you need it.

Yeah, that was a really big fan. What was it? It couldn't have been Bakteen because that's a berms. That would have pissed me off. He was making out with the ice cold.

That's hot. That was amazing. He just melted. He's like, oh my god. That was so hot.

Yeah, Bo earlier decided to make out with the ice cold. and now I guess it's become a thing. I don't know. We all have to when we leave. Well, kissing that would be like kissing Alan now. Because he was all up on it.

He left his part, right? He got a piece while he was at it. I feel like that's some kind of Icelandic ritual. Before they leave, like their meet hall or whatever, they have to make out with The Yeti ice sculpture, or else, you know, he'll come and kill you. Yeah, can we throw a question out to the viewers?

Are we allowed to do that? Go for it. All right, so Ben and I were trying to remember earlier. We were making the comment, when the ice sculpture of the Yeti melts, then the Yeti spaghetti party will be over. And he was trying to say, well, what particular, like, ceremony is that?

And I was saying, I was pretty sure that's in a film tour. It's mentioned within the film that they have, like, some sort of ice sculpture at this party within a movie, and when it melts, then the party is over. So, see if any savvy viewers can post and say what it is. Do you have the answer, or you need the answer? Mm-hmm.

I don't have these. You said you had an idea, and I don't think it's from. You don't think it's from Melancholia? I don't think it is either. It's from some sort of film, though.

I just watched that, and I don't remember. That's what I'm saying. I feel like it's something recent. It feels like something that Roman Polanski did. No, maybe I don't.

Oh, is it? No. Well, no. Is it the Red Riding Trilogy? No, it's not.

Okay, forget it. Sorry. That's not where it's from. Because no one here has clearly seen that. No.

Okay. No. I'll probably think of it like once I live. Maybe it's from Gremlins 2, the new batch. I mean, that's usually my default to go to.

I feel like every time we record, there's some awesome instance where we just always go back to Gremlins 2. Like, that's the one. It all goes down to us. It's my fault. Which, actually, this was like Gremlins 2, the new batch, to where you have chaos breaking out in a large skyscraper in a downtown metropolitan area.

But you don't get the Yeti to do a cute dance like you do in Gremlins 2. Which is a shame. I guess maybe if he danced, he would have been revealing too much since they went to great lengths to hide the Yeti genitalia with, like, extra long fur. That's why the ladies were putting on their glasses. Yeah, they were.

Yeah. They were checking it out. Don't want to miss this. That one woman made, you know, made sure that she ran underneath, like, in between his legs. I was just like, ooh, Mabel, look at that.

That's what I was like when the kid did it earlier. I was like, don't you know not to run under a Yeti? That seems like a pretty basic rule. Don't walk underneath your Yeti. I want to see a King Kong movie to where he's just pooping.

He's got it. He sees all over Manhattan. Exactly. He just throws his poop at them. Behaving like an actual.

You know. You have special criteria for your films, don't you? Literally, I do. You know, a highbrow. Right here.

Well, again, when we get to the, like, going back to the city. The second time, the Yeti fever that takes over. It cuts to them saying, we'll get him to follow us back to the container. All of a sudden, it's like, Yeti gas! We've got to get some Yeti gas!

That's sold out! That was so disturbing. It was like, put some Yeti in your tank. And I was like, no, thank you. That sounds like code.

I know. They didn't even have the Yeti in Toronto at the time. It's just like. They just happened to choose a Yeti as their character. It was Yeti for her.

Right. I mean, otherwise, that girl wouldn't have been wearing that shirt. She wouldn't have been making out with a random guy. The shirt was awesome, by the way. Yeah, why aren't they selling those now?

And we should have had them here. That's what Gary said. As soon as I was looking at it, I was like, man, we could have almost got away with that. Like, had the Yeti hands and then the spaghetti. But why?

What does Yeti hands over women. Blue Yeti hands over women's breasts have anything to do with the. I didn't get it. He comes from colds, blues... No, it doesn't work.

It just doesn't work. I'm partial to our t-shirts, so I'm sticking with the Yeti. I'm saying we're like the Yeti fever kids. came from though it makes no sense within the context of the film and. Howard hughes was marketing i mean that other guy. Yeah i know baron harkonnen he was marketing him he knew at the beginning he's like i get yeti and it's going to be everything and then sure enough he was right as soon as they captured the yeti everyone wanted to buy his products because he called them yeti products because he had a yeti i mean that's really yeah that's i mean that is the plot of it this is ridiculous movie is this The Italian Albert Finney is like, capture me a Yeti and I will be able to sell anything to the people because it's Yeti.

If Disney had a Yeti, they'd certainly market it. They did well with the mouse. I'm just really confused. I'm so confused about the choice of Canada. The scientist goes on on this little spiel on what a Yeti is and how he comes from the Himalayas. the canadian himalayas apparently.

Oh they said it somehow drifted and ended up in newfoundland or something. Like geography the canada thing does not make sense but tonally it makes. Perfect sense like it just just felt like just like of course this movie you know we're all not taking this but. Actually there are a lot of films that are made in canada now maybe this This is the one that broke the ice, no pun intended. Because there's just a lot of.

It set the benchmark by which all other Canadian productions would be measured. If we're going to question all of that, then the major thing, along with all the. Other nonsense up there, I was just. When they got to Yeti Fever and the whole city was going crazy, welcoming Yeti to his new home, they're having the Yeti Parade... Can we talk about the heritage dance going on?

It was carnival, wasn't it? It was carnival, yeah. Oh, slob footage of carnival. I was legitimately confused for a second. I was like, because I think I looked down at my phone or I went and got some coffee or something, and I'm like, how the hell did they end.

Up in Brazil? Seriously. And then I was like, wait, or is that Toronto? Toronto has their own. I was like, what heritage are we?

Celebrating with this parade? I don't think it's Canada. I don't think it's Himalayas. Precisely my problem, because I went outside to take a couple shots of the Yeti ice sculpture with the movie running, and then I came back in. I was outside for 30 seconds, and I thought, wait, the professor's dead.

And suddenly everyone's running. What is going on? Yeah, like you can't blink. I mean, in the last half hour of the film, I feel like somebody said, okay, we've got to have this under half an hour. because you know somebody had made like a ken burns epic yeti film seven hours of yeti and they're like god we're gonna have to cut out so much. Who gives a shit how to get the girl gets in the mountain she's walking her feet are torn go.

Fourth wall fourth wall just do it like the ratio of shots of people running from the yeti like in panic and the actual yeti like Towards the end, we just tipped in favor of just the running and shot, like the people running. Yeah. Like there was hardly as many shots of the Yeti. Well, half the shots were them running up to the Yeti in surprise, and then the other half were running away as if somebody sees this giant thing and they run a couple hundred feet to it like, holy shit, I've got to get closer to see it. Look at that. fuck, it's going to kill me.

It's so bizarre. I mean, the bus unloads and all those people get out of the bus and they run up to the building and as soon as it starts climbing down, they run back the other direction. It's just bizarre. That shot was, what clearly happened with that was the director told everyone on that bus to like, to every single person, when you get out of the bus, make sure you stop and have a, Really scary reaction shot. Don't keep running.

Every person has to stop and go, ah, and then just keep going. Well, things that piss him off. They didn't just race out like normal people would. I like that they just continually, like, eh, it's okay. You just flash on those cameras.

It's fine. Like, the first time, okay, we're stupid. We didn't know any better. But when they bring him back. To the city, I'm like, you know all the stuff that pissed him.

Off last time. And then it's like, oh, wait, it pissed him off. You should stop now. Stop it. Stop it.

No safety perimeters. Like, even after the second time, after it just blew up in their face. They're in the city now, you know, which is a logical place to go after the Yeti almost kills everyone in the mountains. And they still just don't have a fence. They don't tell people to not take pictures.

And why are they taking so many flash pictures on a sunny day? It's a bright, sunny day, and it's like, we've got to take a lot of flash pictures of this thing. Our viewers like our pictures overexposed. I don't know why, I mean, I. Know why they couldn't do it, because they couldn't film in Toronto.

But why wouldn't they have, you've got a ready-made crowd full of people at the stadium there, and I was like, oh, they're going to land in the stadium. And then my logic overtook, like, they can't land in the stadium because they can't go to that stadium. They can't get that many people for this movie. But still, I thought, why even show it You know, that there's a stadium there because obviously that's the safest place. You can put them in there.

Everybody, you know, it's a big open space. Not on top of a building where people are trapped. Yeah, because, I mean, when they turned on the TV in the stadium, I thought, okay, that's what it is. They're getting ready to land there. And that's like the broadcasting touch.

Now it's like, no, everybody's just in the stadium to watch. the footage of the Yeti go on top of another building? No, it's because he was there to watch the game, but. Even the game couldn't draw him away from Yeti fever. He had to bring the TV just to watch the Yeti arrive. And the game was going on, but it wasn't near as important as the Yeti arriving.

Even though there was nobody on the field. Even though there was nobody on the field. Yeah, I kind of wondered that too. I was like, why is everybody all riled up? There's nothing going on down there.

Maybe they'd originally planned to film there and even started to shoot that. And then somebody was like, nope. We can't do that. Also, speaking of You know, not being there. When they were running into the store during Yeti fever, and there's about 15 clearly Italian boys running.

What the hell are you saying? Canadian! But they've got Canadian flags. Yeah, flags. Just to show that they're Canadian.

Flags equals Canada, duh! So. But they're... They even have, I don't know if it's dubbed or what, but it even sounds like they're still Italian. And where were they running?

Right. They got to the door and stopped. They were really excited about something. They wanted to see the girl with blue hands. I guess.

I mean, that was the next shot, but it didn't really seem like, you know, it made any, oh, wait, no, most of this didn't make any sense. Never mind. I love it. His whole empire is T-shirts and gas. Yeah.

I'll give you, gas makes a lot of money, but t-shirts, you know, I haven't been cleaning up on these, so. What was the sign, though? It said something about Yeti strength or something? But it was, like, sideways, so I couldn't ever read it. No, it said, Yeti strength in your tank is something like that.

No, there was another one, though, because it said something about, like, Yet, I don't know. It didn't have to do with the gas. Yeah, there was the one later that was the man and woman were standing next to one. Yeah, and I couldn't read what it said. I think it was batteries.

I think. I think it was yeti strength in your batteries. It was some other brainwashing. I think it was just sort of like they live at that point. He just takes over the advertising and brainwashes everyone into loving yetis.

I don't know. You put on the sunglasses and just yeti on everything. You don't see the yeti until you've got the sunglasses on. And then you see that other layer of the film that wasn't there. That's why he surprises everybody.

The women put on the glasses. That's what they're seeing. Oh, God. I love how the movie wanted to impress you with a walkie-talkie. Yeah.

The guy's just like, hang on, I'll call it in. And the camera just zooms in as he's pulling the antenna out. It's 48 feet of antennae. It's 77. That was his cell phone, man.

And they all have radio phones in their car. Yeah, that was pretty impressive. I mean, they could talk to each other in their car. In 1977, that was impressive. This could have been me, like, not paying attention, but do you remember, like, I think it was, like, the first shot of the police?

They, like, pull up, and then they were like, Chief, you have a phone call. And he's like, they're like, the Yeti's been spotted. And I'm like. Where were they going for? Like, did I miss something there?

No, you did not miss anything. They, like, stop and get out of their cars. And I was like, oh, okay, they found the Yeti. And then it was like, you got a call. He spotted over here.

Oh, well, we were just like running around. Did you know if we turn our lights on, we can go through stoplights and everything? This is awesome, dude. Oh, yeah, chasing the Yeti. That's what we were doing.

Well, there's a lot of cop-related confusion in this. First of all, the cops driving around in cabs. Maybe they don't make them like that anymore in Italy, Canada. I don't know, but. Yeah, it looked like a cab, first off.

It just had lights on top. And then later, when the cops come in and find the dead body and say, somebody needs to. Call the cops. I didn't know what that was like. It was like, we were sitting there and going, you are cops.

That was supposed to be a joke, or they forgot they were wearing cop uniforms. Because they weren't, because this was someone dubbing it. That's probably not even what they said in Italian, but Later, they were just not even looking at the screen as they're reading the script. Somebody call the cops. Yeah, it was probably in the original screenplay, it was somebody else who showed up and found the bodies, but then when they ended up filming it with the cops, there was the mix-up, and they didn't realize that.

It's just so silly. That was one of my favorites. Somebody needs to call the cops. Well, that badge makes it kind of... Never mind.

No, that's cool. Yeah, the one thing that I think this movie would have been so much slower had it not been for this, is just the expressions of the Yeti in and of itself. That guy. There's no way to describe how decidedly absurd they are. The whole time I was watching this, I was like, okay, is this guy taking this really, really serious, or is he taking it really, really...

Not seriously. Yeah, you're right. I can't decide, really. Like, thinking about all the crazy, like, sometimes he is so committed to it. Yeah.

And then other times, it seems like, I'm like, is he being tongue-in-cheek? Is this funny? Is this. Yeah. Is he winking at the camera?

Almost, because it's about that bad, some of his expressions. Yeah, sometimes he's winking with both eyes. Yeah, I know. You're watching, it's like, man, he makes Tim Allen's acting seem subtle by nature. To Yeti and beyond!

All right, so we're skipping over probably the most amazing moment in this movie. There are many. I sat there just like, I can't believe I just saw that. Do we want to get to the nipple? We hypothesized it was the gunshot.

That's what I thought, too. The gunshot got hard, okay? I was going to say, no, they had a prop of a nipple, and it clearly was made to, like, stiffen. Okay, so that's what I originally thought was, I was like, did she just touch his nipple and it got a wreck? She rubbed it, but...

And he like grins at her. He gave her the look. I'm pretty sure. Rolled her eyes like, oh, yetis. Men.

They're all the same. Yeah, she literally says like, men. They're all the same. But the thing that threw me off though was like, she just kind of like reached over. And again, it goes back to that weird.

Proportions thing. Oh, yeah. It's like if she just turned around based on the hand that she was hitting, she would just be reaching at best where the wrist is coming in contact with him. But somehow she just reached over and touched his nipple, which by that sizing would have been like, you know. 20, 30 feet away?

Maybe he was holding her like up to his nipple. He's trying to guide her to, you know what to do. Just put her hand close to it. Let's see what she does. Yeah, he's making his move.

Come on, baby, just touch it. Just touch it once. It's like, you just keep reaching in the popcorn. I'm just going to move the popcorn bucket out of the way now. There we go.

Sorry, you just touched my nipple. The only thing that threw me off on. The gunshot hypothesis was the fact that it was the wrong hand. It was the gunshot. But again, like the nipple thing, they were like.

You know, And the look he gave her was not, you just touched my gunshot wound. I like the. Way you touched my gunshot. I think we were just trying not to. I was trying, okay, that was the gunshot wound.

Closing your eyes and repeating it to yourself. It was the gunshot wound. That nipple will come out in therapy in 12 years. He wouldn't have had nipples any other time, though. Right.

He didn't need them anymore. That was the moment. I was just like, this movie is amazing. Thinking about the weird sexual attraction thing. And I suppose it goes hand in hand with King Kong.

King Kong, I don't know why, I always just took it more to where it's just an ape-like fascination. But with this being more anthropomorphizing, closer to human, it's like, no, I see it as less sort of an A fascination with some sort of toy-like thing and more like just the sexual attraction to it recognizes it's a female of a similar species. But. It's so much smaller than you. It doesn't work, really.

I mean, that would be like, what if Barbie dolls... were alive and you had somebody that was sexually. Oh this is hot hold on wait i'm sure there are people well. I'm sure you know you think okay if that were the case then there would be people but we would be like let's just perverse well maybe what they did was they just thought out the perverted yeti and all the other ones would be normal and clearly people alone like maybe the only yeti that was frozen was like they're really. Fucked up he's got issues man come on I mean, he might be. You know, touched, so to speak.

I mean, look at all the expressions he makes. He does seem like he doesn't know what's going on. Like, even more so than, I guess. If he just woke up from a million years ago. I don't mean special as in he's got, like, immense IQ.

I mean, special yeti as in since he would eat glue. That would make sense. He does lick his... gunshot wound i mean you know yeah and. He just sort of bumbles around the city doesn't know how to hide. Or anything yeah okay since we're talking about special what's up with herbie Can we address Herbie for a minute?

Yeah, I like that he just shows up about halfway into the film. It's not until you're in Toronto do we add him to the plot. It feels, at that point as I was watching, I was like, okay, it's like the Gamera, well, Godzilla did that some with their films, but Gamera films, they always had the little Japanese kid who could help, he could speak to Gamera and calm him down. I was like, that's pretty much the same gist. You've got this little kid who's somehow like, reaches the heart of the yeti.

But did we ever get to like why he's like he. Is what like why doesn't he speak did they address that he's italian i guess. English i guess they never went into that yeah the dog's way more interactive. Does he? I was going to say, I think he does talk.

I couldn't tell him what he said. There's so many times when the sisters, he's yelling at him and he just shakes his head and does all these crazy overacting movements. Yeah, when you first see him, he's just listening to a radio speaker smiling. Yeah. And he doesn't say anything.

I don't know. He's a weird character. Yeah, Forrest Gump's got it more together. Than he does. He's a little below that line.

Right. Speaking of listening, that was something early on in the plot. You've got The second in command listening to Baron Harkonnen talking about how he wants to capture the Yeti. And he's like at the door listening. And then he just walks away and you're like, oh, that's crafty.

He's eavesdropping. And he goes over to the desk. And he turns on the radio and keeps listening. At which point it's like, why did he feel the need to go and sneak up and crack the door and take his ear out and listen when he can just walk over there and turn it on, which he does anyway. It's like, I don't understand.

Again, in the Italian version, the radio just came on. It was some miscommunication working in the audio. The scream, the Yeti scream. It's pretty epic, isn't it? It was like high-pitched, like a woman.

Scream. It's supposed to be, and I know this because the person dancing around in the Yeti costume out here, one of the other people did research for her and told her what the Yeti roar is supposed to sound like. It's a lion's roar mixed with an elephant trumpet. So it was pretty accurate. It didn't blend.

It was like two separate sounds. Yeah, like he had two, like, what do you call it? I don't know the word. I'm just going to say throats. Larynx or whatever it's called.

He had two of those. He might. We don't know what the anatomy of a Yeti is. Well, you know, Tibetan monks can do two or three tones when they're chanting. So maybe, you know, it's Yeti, they're all Himalayan.

Or Canadian. Italian or whatever. You're talking about the physiology. That was something else I thought was funny. The professor, when they're getting ready to thaw him out, he makes a comment.

He's like, ladies and gentlemen, you're looking at your ancestors. It's like, how. If it's only a million years ago, evolutionarily speaking, how did our ancestors go from being these, like, 50 to 100 foot tall behemoths to us? Right. You're forgetting he's Jesus.

Yeah, I mean. And he rode dinosaurs. He rode dinosaurs. I saw that in a museum here once. Yeah, it's a museum.

It's got to be real. He rode dinosaurs. It's a museum. But I will say, I mean, if I can say anything positive, this is not facetious. I genuinely like this.

Me too. I mean, way more than I expected to. Well, you cut me off. I didn't mean the whole film as a whole. But continue on.

I like the main theme to the film, the music. Yeah, which I believe is ripped off. Yeah, it kind of, I was trying to remember the. It rips off, I think, two different themes. There's a classical piece that it's kind of ripping off, but it has more of like a 70s swing to it.

But it's like, all right. The 70s music is pretty awesome, actually. But yeah, the other one, it just kind of steals from something else. That theme was kind of disco-like. Yeah, it was.

Maybe they danced to it a lot in Italy. 70s, 70s thing. You think there was a disco yeti dance? If there's disco duck, I mean, there's got to be disco yeti. There had to have been some underground club at the end of the 70s, early 80s, just thought it was very tongue-in-cheek and fun to do it with that theme.

I bet you there was some. And they had a lot of coke, too. Do the Yeti. So, yeah. Again, just that last...

If we're going to get into the problems with it, not that there were. There are no problems. There were very many, but. Flawless. Flawless piece of cinematic work No, that last third is so long.

It was funny watching everybody in the room here, because usually we don't get to see a whole room full of people. So this was funny, because there's a guy with his knees just jumping up and down. It's just like, for God's sakes, get this over with. And that's the funny. Thing, too, is the ending, it feels, it's so long, but it feels rushed. yeah it's the weirdest it's both it's.

Like yeah it's like sloppily edited together and doesn't make sense but at the same time it needed to end 20 minutes yeah everything. In the warehouse is yeah eight times longer than it needs to be and the whole wandering around like the city and them like following him the warehouse is probably the longest stretch that needed to not be there but Even the city. And then it becomes like this fugitive on the run movie for a minute. Only he's giant and he should be spotted from the air in. That helicopter they had earlier.

I feel like that last third was when they realized that they'd set up that whole subplot with the fellow within the first five minutes. And they're like, well shit, we started that other movie in this too. I guess we should do something with that. Let's have it to where he He kills the dog and the professor. Did he kill the professor?

I was outside at the time, but that's what I kind of picked up. Yeah. I'll assume so. Sure. The thugs killed the professor.

Okay, well, basically, they killed the professor, they killed the dog, presumably. Right. Even though it comes back from the dead. The miracle of movies. And. they are going to kidnap the Yeti so they can use the Yeti for their marketing purposes?

Like you do. I thought so because they were talking in the car and the kid was listening in and he's like, oh shoot, the kid heard us. And I'm like, at least somebody did because I don't know what your plan is. Because that's the whole thing. If the whole purpose of getting the Yeti, again, was to be like this business spree marketing scheme what is the point of kidnapping the yeti when he's already put the yeti label on everything that he owns.

Yeah well that's what i'm thinking i'm like why and that that's the real question at this why do you need a giant yeti to make that your marketing campaign you can draw a yeti and put it on a t-shirt oh wait i did And you. Can sell whatever the hell you want. I don't have a real Yeti, you know? Why do they feel like nobody in advertising had ever done it right up until, but if we have the actual creature. I.

Mean, I feel like just at one point, you know, somebody probably even came to this guy and said, why do we need this Yeti? I don't know, but we don't have it. That's why we gotta get it. Gotta get the Yeti. We'll figure it out when we get it.

There's only one. I wonder if they were gonna start selling... hand vegetables. Is that what they were going to, you know, jolly green giants, pretty close. To jolly green Yeti. Yeah.

Oh, I don't know. My bottle of snow keys. Oh God. Oh goodness. Get out.

So I'm going to make out with the ice sculpture now. Do we have anything else we want to write? Cause I've got my, my final take on it. Okay. Is there anything else we need to get to beforehand?

I think especially the final shot proved this for me, that the entire film was indeed just footage for a Japanese karaoke. You know what. I'm talking about. All right, you might have summed it up better, actually. Because the final shot is, again, stock footage of these glaciers falling and exploding into the ocean.

And the Yeti just walks in front of it. Like he's walking in front of a screen. Like he's not in the environment. Right. But he looks at you.

He looks at you. It's like he's looking into your soul, man. And that's when the Yeti song should have started. The man that words at the bottom. He's singing along.

Oh, God. A duet. I can see that, actually. Well, I mean, you got to give them credit. They were, again, the earnestness of this.

Like, they thought they were making the best movie ever. Like. And he really was trying. Like, they do those zoom-ins sometimes, and they do. This, that epic shot of, like, him, like, the upshot of the Yeti.

Yeah, where he's, like, looking around and saying, like. Where am I? He gets, like, super creative with these shots that he really thinks he's doing something with them. So, I mean, he's trying. I think he's trying.

For the better part, yes. But seriously, on that last little portion, I feel like at that point, the cast realized, like, he showed, you know, they were doing all this stuff, and finally at one point they said, all right, you know, I'm Tony or whatever his name was. All right. We want to see some dailies of what this thing looks like. It's like, well, you'll see it at the premiere of this page.

Wait, no, we want to see some now. okay and they watch. And they're like oh well i won't. Get in you know at that point it's like well we committed to this because even like in the last portion of it everybody seems to not have this spunk that they did at the beginning at that point it's like they're out of steam like yeah all right i'm just doing this to get this done the way it kind of felt then it was kind of it just i mean you watch the girl and you watch a lot of the other main characters it's like they start to lose yeah But the only person who doesn't is the Italian Albert Finney guy. Playing Howard Hughes. Oh, he never tones it down.

No, he doesn't ever tone it down. I love that. But I won't give the director. Italian Albert Finney. Playing Howard Hughes.

I'm sorry. There's no other way to. I won't give the director credit across the board, because I think even in the beginning, there's times when it's that, like, look at him really trying to get this amazing shot, and then, like, the next shot is just crap. Like, it's like he really, like, there were maybe days he was just really inspired, and then other days he just, it's like stuff's. Not even in frame right.

Like, it's so, like, back and forth. Like, there's no consistent, yeah, there's no consistency to it. And it's even more worsened by the editing process that's just, Again, I don't know who. Came in and was just like, I don't know, slap this in there now. I don't care if they're done talking, just slap this in there.

It's so abrupt in the way it shifts. It's like when I'm decorating a Christmas tree. First, you're kind of caught up in the awe and mystery of it all. You unpack everything. There's sentiment and history behind it.

Halfway through, it's just you keep getting sick and tired of untangling lights and trying to find the hooks to the ornaments and then untangling those. Finally, you're just like, God damn it. Fuck it. I'm just going to finish it. I'm sick of it.

I'm going to throw it. It's good enough. It's good enough. I might come back to it later and fix it, but for now it's good enough. And then nobody comes to your house throughout the holidays and you're like, eh, it wasn't enough.

I'm not going to fix it. Screw this. That's pretty much the way I felt. I was like, all right, screw it. It's done.

It's good enough. Next project. Moving on. Well, the tone I got from it, and it wasn't that far into it, and definitely as it went on, I was like, what this feels like is like those 70s live-action Disney movies where you go on an adventure, especially because it's kids and you got the kids. I was like, this is Escape to Yeti Mountain.

This is exactly what it felt like to me. I was like, It's one of those type of movies. It's like Condor Man. Yeah, it's that level because it's not super violent. Again, I was trying to describe this to people.

I was like, it's pretty low-key for what we're using. I mean, there's not a whole lot of gore. As we said, there's not a lot of killing. It's more watchable than Bigfoot was. It's pretty PG-13 at worst.

Yeah, it's pretty... Yeah, add the nipple, it's 13. There's no nipples in Disney movies. Bed knobs and... Well, in the background, there's all kinds of stuff in the background.

But yeah, I don't know. Bed knob and broomstick sounds like a euphemism. It already is. I think I rented that movie. That's a different one.

But no, the. Go down to the sea, to the cartoon sea, to see an angel. What's it do with that? I'm sorry. But no, yeah, it's the two kids.

Maybe it's just replacing Jessica Lange with two kids move that they did. Just gave it such an escape to Yeti Mountain feel. I don't know. That's just me. But it does seem very...

I was like, did this run on Italian TV? It's almost clean enough that you could show it to normal people, but it doesn't make sense enough that their brains wouldn't explode in the process. Well, we're obviously not normal people. I think every episode we prove that. But yeah, I don't know.

It's such a weird tone to it. I don't think there are going to be many viewers who are going to listen to this and then watch it and be able to make it about half an hour in. I think it worked because we were all, if you're watching it by yourself, I think if you're watching it by yourself, it's almost unwatchable. If you watch it with a group, yeah, you can do it. It's pretty fun.

Because you can laugh at the stuff and make jokes at people, but watching it by yourself, I think it would become interminable. Right. I really do. Either drinking or Mystery Science Theater might be the only other options. I mean, seriously, get some beers and take a drink of beer every time you see a shot of a helicopter.

Right. And you'll wake up the next morning. Or every time she oddly pronounces, Yet she here were. Every time there's an insert shot of the collie. Oh, man.

These people are going to have alcohol poisoning. You better slow down, guys. Come on now. Yeah, I don't know. It's a strange, strange film.

And yet, it was perfect for the Yeti Spaghetti Show. And Yeti it was perfectly. Get out. It's the third time you've asked me. To leave this.

Go lick the Yeti. That's it. Oh, man. I think I might have to touch where its nipple would be. Just making sure we didn't forget anything.

We've rounded out Yeti here. We're trying to forget. We're trying to forget. That's it. We all need to leave now.

All right, is there anything else we need to pass along? Can we box up some of the Yeti cakes and have people, like, can we ship them out? You guys want some really old meatballs? We'll send you those, too. Those were some good meatballs.

They're really good. Again, I was saying, seriously, that needs to be something you all carry here. Just put them in bagel form and cook them. Again, I mean, who's going to object to a bagel made out of sausage? Nobody.

They'll be happy. They'll come in and they'll be like. I'm on a diet, give me a bagel. And you give them sausage bagels, they're going to be elated. I mean, they really will.

You could have a whole marketing scheme just right there. I mean, feel free to take that idea. Technically, we already had one of our crew that made us put bacon in one. No, that's not the same. That's bacon in a bagel.

I'm talking about a bagel that is sausage. That is meatball. Oh, God. Yeah, it's meatball bagel. Gluten-free.

Yeah. I'm gone. Yeah, in a couple of weeks, if you want us to chip you out a very special meatball. A smagle, maybe? Like a sausage.

Smagle? Smagle? That sounds wild. It's hard to say. I remember him crawling around that mountain, but I don't know.

I think we should get the hell out of here. Yeah. We've been here way too long today. Yep. Ugh.

It's been quite an experience, the Yeti Spaghetti Show. An exhausting one. That it has. Yeah. I think we should round it out.

Thanks for joining us on this epic journey. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening.

Love of God. Let's go lick the Yeti. He is so big, good man or small, but he won't harm you. He is so hard, the man of. Stone, but he won't kill you.

The wind is big The wind is tough But it's so good. Thank you. In Iceland, we lick the Yeti. That's what we do in Iceland. This is my Bjork.

Is that really bad? I thought it was a saying at LifeSkater. No. Yeti in the dark. Goodbye.

This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!