209: Back to the Bastion

Hello, this is Tom Kane, the voice of the professor from The Powerpuff Girls. And you're listening to Movie Meltdown. Oh, I love it so. Oh, no. What if I don't get my official Red Raider Carbine Action 200 Shot Rage Model Air Rifle?

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. It's showtime, folks. Enjoy the show. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power.

Provide more cooling in the containment chamber. To your citizens, we have Movie Meltdown. From this moment on, you will now be known as Sharkbait. What's up. And welcome to Movie Meltdown.

I'm Brian. I'm Misty. I'm Jay. I'm Marlena. And we are coming to you live via digital recording from the bastion of awesomeness.

Hells yeah. As you have billed it previously. Which would also be known as Miss DJ's house. Kitchen to be exact. It's been quite a while.

You know, you guys have been missing them, I'm sure. So I thought we'd come visit with them and hang out at their house and see what you've been up to. We had chili. We did have chili. It's pretty awesome.

You don't get chili out there in Western Atlanta. I'm sorry. You can if you want, but you have to make it yourself. It won't be as awesome as ours. We could try to pour it through the microphone.

I don't like that idea at all. Oh, come on. And then it would just come out their ears. That's kind of gross. I think they have that.

They're just covered up. It's all a conspiracy. Anyway, I thought we would go into our previous goings-on. You haven't been here in a while. Do you need to go first or do you want to save yours?

I don't care. Whatever works best. I don't care. I don't know. We actually haven't watched that much stuff because I've been working.

We've been working, but you've got to understand we haven't been on the podcast in. A long time. A long, long time. It's been Halloween, but that was sort of an off win anyway. Were we on Halloween?

Yeah, you were on one of the Halloween ones. It was candy. We were? We were in the hallway. In what hallway?

The secret hallway with Lucy. Oh yeah yeah I totally forgot about that we were weren't we yeah other than that it's been. A while wow yeah I remember oh. God huh what did we watch I don't remember you're the one supposed to tell us that no what did we watch for the Halloween episode oh we watched. Deeper Scream oh yeah now I remember it oh yeah oh.

Jeez the thing is it's been so long since we've been on we've watched some stuff but I forgot what we've watched and if we thought it sucked or not but I remember some things cause I wrote it down Um, we watched, uh, Sand Shark. You got a shark kick one, though? No, I love shark movies. I'm not gonna lie. Isn't this part of your whole big, um, how many features?

Well, that was two in one night, but I've watched three. Triple feature of shark movies? Four. I've watched four shark movies. Oh, good lord.

We watched four shark movies. I think three of them were sci-fi originals. The other one was from, like, Australia or something. I don't know. Which one was that one?

Bait. Bait. Not the one with what's-his-face. The... Jamie Foxx Jamie Foxx I call him Jamie Lee Foxx.

Well the Australian one the bait was pretty good I actually kind of like that. One we're still talking about Super Shark. Or Sand Shark which one? I went out of order we're watching Sand. Shark first oh god you went way out of order.

I did because boyfriend was like oh I want to watch the one with the tank that walks and I'm like that's Sand Shark and I watched halfway through I'm like this is not the movie with the tank that walks. And I'm like, I sat through this. Dude, that movie was awesome. That's how she made me watch two of them in one. But no, I gotta admit, it was pretty awesome.

It was awesomely horrible. Well, it's sci-fi. Corin Nemec made that movie awesome. It was. At the very end.

It was. It had Corin Nemec in it. One of the odds he's in a sci-fi original movie. It had Corin Nemec, who I adore. I don't care.

Parker Lewis, he really can't lose. I love him. He's just. He played such a jackass. He was so greasy and slimy in this movie.

He was a greasy, slimy jackass, but he was the only one that could fucking act out of the whole film. What are you talking about? Brooke Hogan? Come on now. Oh, and the sharks.

I really bought her as a shark expert. She was a scientist. As a scientist, yeah. I really bought her as a scientist. I love when they keep making these girls scientists.

Yeah, she had every. Uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh. God, why didn't they just edit that out? I don't know.

Because that was part of her acting as a scientist. I always edit it out of our shit. Yeah, scientists are frequently at a loss for words about the things that they're an expert in. Dude, she didn't have a thought in that brain. Not at all for having a brain.

Popping that big old melon head. Whatever. I know, her giant man face. She looks. She talked like she had cotton in her mouth.

She looks a little too much like her dad for me. She does. She's too big. She's too. She looks too much like her dad's girlfriend.

She's too big. Well, you know, whatever. She's alright. I didn't hate her in this. She wasn't the worst part of the movie.

I don't even remember. The second favorite to Corin Nemec was the Scottish-English pirate guy. Oh, yeah. That guy. Where the hell did he come from?

Yeah, he was, what was he? Sometimes he had a Scottish accent, but then he would turn into a pirate. But then he would turn into, yeah. Like the way me kill the sharks. Yeah, me, I started talking like me all the time.

Me, me, me thinks. But then he would talk normal. Then he would go into an Irish accent. Do these people who are actors, like, not do any, like... Legwork before they.

No. They were just like, can you do an Irish pirate guy? I. He thinks, yes. Even rehearsal, maybe?

Just something? You got the job. Because, yeah, it was the same basic premise as just about every other shark movie ever. Well, every sci-fi movie. They're all kind of a pattern, uniform setup anymore.

Well, this one, there's a big party, and it's a holiday weekend, and there's sharks, but we don't want to close it down because we're the finalists. But they're fucking sand sharks. Sand sharks. They swim in the sand. Fuckers are in the sand.

And they swim through the sand like lightning fast. Hell, yes. Like sand sharks do. All over the place. Even in areas that don't have sand, they swim right through that shit like there's sand through there.

I can just imagine what that CGI looks like. It was fantastic. Oh, yeah. Awesomely fantastic. And they even developed a story between two lifeguards for a large part of the beginning part of the film that led to nowhere.

There was three lifeguards. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Three lifeguards. There was a love triangle that went absolutely nowhere. Yeah.

You were just like, okay, what was the purpose of this? This took up half the movie. Okay, well, yeah. Okay, well, all right. Spoiler alert.

Yeah. Usually it's like the people that fall in love throughout the course of the movie that get to live. You would think, depending on what kind of movie. I think you just switched to a different movie. Wasn't that Super Shark?

No. Are you sure? Did I? Oh yeah, I did, didn't I? Those two movies are so much the same.

Then we turned around and watched Super Shark, which was in fact the one that had the walking tank in it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I did see you posting the trailer for that a long time ago. I've seen the trailer. Because the song, the song, listen to the song.

The Super Shark song. It's fucking phenomenal. It was fucking groundbreaking. It was the best song of the year. Super Shark.

That's how it went, too. We'll go back to that in a minute, then. All right. Okay, now we're on Super Shark, which starred a man, John Schneider. Oh, well.

Vodou was all up in the shit. It was fantastic. Yeah, there apparently was some, there was some drilling going about. Hey, let's leave the sex scenes out of this. No.

You know that John Schneider. Oh, hell yeah. He's been doing that, what's that, P90X, or PX90, P90X? P90X. He's fucking ripped like Jesus, dude.

Or maybe it is PX90. I don't know, whatever the fuck it is. P90X. P90X. It is working for him, and he is, he is, hell yeah.

I'd tap that. Well, I'm pretty sure we all know that. Yeah. But yeah, that was, that was fantastic. I mean, seriously, there was a shark, and it could walk on land, and there was a tank that could also walk on land.

That one was fun. Yeah. Super shark. Why do you need your tank to walk? Because it was all terrain.

Yeah, it was all terrain. They especially designed it to go over rocks and stuff in Afghanistan. Unless the shark hits it sideways. Yeah. And then it just tips over.

That's kind of the downside of the AT-AT. Didn't they see that? I mean, didn't they watch Empire? No, they didn't. This was like a Dachshund version of the AT-AT.

You know. That takes our center of gravity lower. We won't totally fall over now. It's an ankle biter. Not the same night, but following along the same vein, we did watch Jersey Shore Shark Attack.

That one was actually awesome. I liked Jersey Shore Shark Attack. It was not awesome enough because not enough guidos got eaten. No, but it was more of a pro-guido film. Tried to shut him in a positive light?

Yes, it did. Because it was very Guido-y. It was very Yo Vinny and shit. No, it was funny because it was a complete Jersey Shore ripoff. Complete.

Complete. It wasn't the situation. It was the guy's name. It wasn't the situation. He was the.

Circumstance. I don't remember something like that. Check out the circumstance. No, I don't remember. She's going to have to look it up.

But, yeah, they all had their own little names. But it was like you could automatically tell. You could go, oh, that's the situation. Oh, that's the other guy. And I don't even watch Jersey Shore.

Why do I know this? You automatically had the Snooki. Why do I know these people's names? I don't know. I've never watched it either.

I've watched it like once, but I have a friend at work who really loves it. And any time a cab shows up, she goes, cabs are here. And I know all about Jim Tan Laundry and T-shirt time. Thank God I don't know any of this nonsense. T-shirt time.

Yeah, see, I don't know half of that stuff. Like, I've seen some of the characters just because they get popped up on the TV screen and I can't change the channel fast enough. It's the key in the situation. That's the only ones that have bled through. Yeah, I don't know any of the other idiots.

Well, yeah, I think the situation does, like. Pauly D. Pauly D. Yeah, he does. That's the one who does, like, the energy drink commercials.

Mm-hmm. Where I'm at work and I can't get to the radio fast enough. Oh, the Snooki's name was Nookie. Nookie, yeah. Oh, that's awesome.

Very creative. Way to cover that up. J Money. Was that J Wow? Yeah, I can't find the other...

Balzac. Who was that? I don't know, it's just a guy's name on there. You just wanted to say Balzac. I did.

Yeah, I can't find it. Oh, Joey Fatone was in it, too. Oh, of course he was. He was just down the street working at the quickie mart. I don't know.

Now we're into handsome Guido and Guido Honk. So I can't find the guy that I was talking about originally. But it was... Like I said, there was something. I'll give it that much.

There was some Guidos getting eaten. That was definitely fun. But. Oh, the complication. The complication.

Here's the complication. Nice. That's amazing. Yeah, it was fantastic. Yeah, and then.

Completely different, actually. A decent shark movie. Actually, they were all fun. I wouldn't call it not decent movies. But then we watched Bait, which we just mentioned a couple minutes ago.

Yeah. Which was actually pretty fun because it's in Australia, which everything in fucking Australia is out to fucking kill everybody. I don't care. That's scary. Damn, Australia, you scary.

Yeah, but it was kind of based around a tsunami that comes in and I guess these people are in. Sharks in people's pools. Well, what are they in? They're... Like a grocery store?

Like some kind of grocery store that's got a. It looks like it's in a garage or something. I don't know. Well, they've got a parking garage, too, and then... The parking garage gets flooded, and part of the lower part of the grocery store gets flooded, and then there's sharks.

In the grocery store. In the grocery store. I think we. Talked about this, like, when they were going to make it, like, years ago. Because I believe you then were like, oh my.

God, this sounds like the most awesome movie ever. And it was. It was pretty good. Wouldn't people, like, not go shopping in the grocery store if it was all flooded? They were already in there.

No, they were already there when the tsunami hit. When the flood hit. So then they were, like, stranded on top of the shelves. Yeah. Oh, okay.

So that sounds, like, totally plausible. I'm like, how the fuck did these sharks get in there? Yeah. Well, to make things even more complicated, the boy who works at the grocery store, you know, an earlier scene, him and his fiancée, his fiancée' s brother, both him and the brother. Hold on, they were all lifeguards.

Lifeguards. Oh, they were all lifeguards. And his fiancée' s brother got eaten by a shark, and she blames him. I think he blames himself. Or maybe he blames himself.

He blames himself. Oh, that's right, yeah. Anyways, they broke up. So then she shows... With her damn Asian boyfriend.

Yeah, back up. Like, a couple years later, five years later, ten years later. She went to Japan. Whatever. Anyways, she shows up and it's.

Like, oh my god. And then the tsunami comes. And her boyfriend gets eaten. I just ruined that for you. And does he blame himself for that one?

No, no, actually he doesn't. He's like, fuck that guy. I don't think he cares too much. And the sharks got in there because the doors are motion-censored. All they have to do is swim in front of it.

Oh. Yeah. But didn't they have to go through the parking garage to get there? And the parking garage was only halfway flooded. How could this door be more flooded than.

The parking garage? They had a walking tank that took them over there. They borrowed that from the other shark movie. I was just, I mean, aside from, I like the movie. I like the movie, just, I question some things.

The layout. Yeah, the layout. How did they get in? I want to go to Bath Pro Shop. I was thinking about the fish tank.

Never been there. We'll never go there. The fish tank is pretty cool. The fish tank is awesome. My kid loves the fish tank.

Big fish. It's got a waterfall. Yeah. Yeah, with goats. That's taxidermy.

Going down the waterfall. No, no. They're just kind. Of out and about. They're kind of posed.

They're dead. They're staring at you. That's why I won't go there. I don't like dead animals. She doesn't like dead animals.

Unless I can eat them. Yeah. She's not like, oh, poor animal. She's just like, oh, creepy. This guy that I know that is, like, an antiques guy, he has a booth at Bernie's Bargain Barn.

He gave me, like, I went to get a bed frame, and he gave me a deer skull. I was real excited about that. Last weekend, I sat next to a deer head all day. I did the flea off-market thing and sat at a table, and the guy next to me, my neighbor, who was very cool, had a deer head sitting there that he kept trying to unload on people all day long. Was it, like, a.

Taxidermy deer head? Yeah, yeah, it was funny. How much did he want for it? A lot. Oh, okay.

Well, I mean, it was a reasonable amount, actually. It was a 10-pointer, which I heard during the pitch many times throughout the day. But the best part, like, I almost wanted it after he told the story, and I don't really need a deer head on my wall. But when it wasn't just like, oh, I bought this from somebody, or, oh, I shot this. His story was, I was a little kid, and my dad came running in the house and went.

I got a buck! And then. he'd hit it with his car and it like limped off down into the valley and he made his son come with him and they tracked it and he made him like He. Made him, like, gut it out there in the field with him, and he was traumatized for life. How did he get rid of that? That's what I'm saying.

He's been, like, his dad had it for years. That's a horrible story. Well, I know. He seemed very... And that's the thing.

He was like. But he's like. I think he made it up. At that point, he'd seen it through, and, like, he went to the taxidermist with him, and he, like, he saw the whole thing get taken care of, and then he said he had it on his wall for about five years. Or so, and.

I was just like, you want to buy a mug with Stephen Simeon on it? That's all I have, dude. What do you want? We had a deer head on our wall for a while, and I never did understand why. We never had a deer head.

On our wall. No, no, no, no. My parents, when I was growing up, had a. Deer head on. Let me clarify.

There's no deer head in the Bastion of Awesome. Okay, whatever. I had a deer head on the wall, and I never understood why, because my dad never hunted. He was never a hunter. It was a staple of the 70s.

It must have been. It was one of those things that, like, that and his pipe collection. He never smoked a pipe. He did for a while. He tried smoking pipes.

And he got into drinking beer for a little bit. He realized he was too square. Probably. But I was just like, I never did understand why we had a deer on the wall. Because I knew he had bought it at a flea market.

It was that 1970s fantasy about being a manly man with. Your wood paneling. Did you have wood panel? Yes, we had an entire... Basement was nothing but wood paneling, and to this day I want wood paneling in a basement area.

Mine went the other way. I lived in wood paneling for years, and now I'm just like, oh, God, ghetto wood paneling. He probably bathed in mandam daily. I don't know. No, Dad used ginseng for men.

Jeremiah has high karate in his bathroom. Of course he does. Musk for men. No brute. Well, he had Baruch, too.

I think every dad is issued. I don't know. I didn't have a dad. High five! We're bastards!

You had a cabinet. You opened the cabinet. No, my parents were married when I was born. That's true. Only I'm a bastard.

They didn't get divorced until I was a month old. Thank you very much. I think it was actually just recently I started doing the math and figuring out what an accident I was. I'm pretty sure they weren't together already. Your mom was like 15.

I don't think she was that young. She was like 16. She was young. But again, that was kind of how it worked back in the day. And he wasn't, I mean, shit, he was barely out of high school.

Anyway, sharks. You know, sharks. Now that we've discussed this lovely story of each of our birth, our birth, whatever. Bastard children and deer heads. Oh, yeah, and sharks.

Sharks. I didn't discuss mine. Go ahead. Yeah. We talked about your wood paneling.

I think we told your story a long time ago. Yeah, my parents were together. They still are. They are friends. They constantly annoy each other.

That's what marriage is. They annoy each other, and they would die without each other, pretty much. Well, my dad would, but probably not my mom. Your mom would be like, finally, I can do something. My mom's pretty damn strong.

Yeah, your mom is pretty awesome. But, yeah, dad would be completely lost without her. I can't imagine what would happen if she ever passed away. Good thing women live longer than men, on average. Yeah.

Sharks. So yeah, we watched four different shark movies. I love shark movies. I've got Two-Headed Shark Attack in there. I need to watch it.

So I'm pretty excited about that. You've got an obsession. What if I had a taxidermy shark head? Would you want that? No.

How about a live shark swimming around in a tank? That would be awesome. Okay. You should work on that. What about a fake taxidermy shark head?

That might be cool. With a skull? No. No? No big mouth Billy Shark.

Billy Shark. Let's see. He sings the theme to Jaw. What do I sing one way or another? You're better at Mac than I.

We gotta get on that. Seriously. Oh the shark baby has such teeth. Yeah. And he shows them pearly white.

Just a jackknife has old Maggie Heath, baby And he keeps it out. Of sight You know when that shark bites with his teeth. Baby Scarlet billows start to. Spread Fancy gloves, though, where's. Old Maggie Heath, babe?

So there's never, never a trace of red. Now on the sidewalk, uh-huh, uh-huh. Ooh, it's Sunday morning, uh-huh. Lies a body just oozing light. Commission time.

If leaving, please replace your inner car speaker before releasing brakes or starting motor. Do not back out. Drive to the aisle in front of you and exit. And now, for those remaining. Next week on U62.

He's back. And this time, he's mad. Gandhi 2. No more Mr. Passive Resistance.

He's out to kick some butt. Mad mother, you don't want to mess with me. Don't move, slime ball. He's a one-man wrecking crew. But he also knows how to party.

Give me. A stick, medium rare. There is only one law. His law. Gandhi 2.

It was a childhood corrupted by endless hours of VHS rentals. We're sick to manage it. You'd love it. In his most formative years, he had seen it all. Action.

Horror. And romance. Now, he's decided it's time to go back. For just one more adventure. Humans are such easy prey.

Noel Mellor presents... You're the problem, you little shit. The Adventures in VHS Podcast. Join me, Noel Mellor, as each month I take an in-depth look at one movie from my collection of ex-rental 80s VHS classics and speak to one or two of the people involved with making them about what the format means to them. The Adventures in VHS Podcast.

Thank you. Have a nice day. Download today from iTunes by searching for Adventures in VHS or visit adventuresinvhs.com. Buddy, where's the spatula? Okay, kids, let's go.

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Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. Hi, this is Emma Caulfield, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. It's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies.

All of life's riddles are answered. In the movies. And now, on with the show. One way or another, I'm going to find you. I'm going to get you, get you.

One way or another, I'm going to win you. I'm going to get you, get you. One way or another. I'm going to see you. I'm going to meet.

You, meet you one day, maybe next week. I'm going to meet you, I'm going to get you, I'll get you. I will drive past your house and And if the lights. Are all down, I'll see you through the rain. All right.

Other than that, you didn't watch The Hole. No, I did not. I was doing something else. Hey, I watched The Hole. What did you think about The Hole?

I think I like it. It's Joe Dante. It's very Joe Dante-esque. But it's also, I don't love it. Because to me, it's.

Very familiar stuff. I think there's a really cool setup and it's got this good idea. And then it's, to me, see what you think, it just sort of falls back on stuff I've seen in other movies. Like each little snippet is something that's kind of just sort of something I'm familiar with. To me, the whole thing is played out like a really long extended Goosebumps episode.

Yeah, kind of. I love Goosebumps. This is a lame one, though. This is a lame episode that goes on for an hour and a half, almost two hours. It's not as good as Monster Blood.

No. It just plays out. It's just. It's fun, but it's not. I.

Didn't even find it fun, really. I don't know. Again, I kind of liked it as much as I liked Goosebumps. The end was stupid. Yeah, see, I didn't like the end.

How did I get out of watching this one? I don't know. You might have been at the gym. Or just... I don't know.

I don't know. You might have been in the computer room and just internet and they're forming and just... Whatever. Whatever. But yeah, I just thought the whole thing was just eh.

I was very disappointed. I love Joe Dante. Yeah. He's made some of the best movies ever. It's like right in the hallway.

I got one of those. Everybody's like, you got Gizmo's autograph? No, fuck you. I got it. Gizmo's autograph.

He signed it with his little tiny hand. Fucked hard. So then I got one of Spike's signed too. I was just going to take the picture. He's like, oh, I'll sign it.

I'm like, okay, whatever, dude. Cut in front of somebody. For free? He signed it for free? Yeah, that's when he was signing stuff for free.

Yeah, he was pretty awesome. I'm hoping he comes back so we can talk to him. Because he was awesome. They're like photocopied pictures. It's not even like photo quality stuff.

But still, it's awesome. It was free. Joe Dante's awesome. I mean, it's one of the best movies. He's amazing.

That's why I was like, okay, I'm going to watch this movie. It's going to be fucking awesome. Well, it's one of those. I don't think directors should slow down that much. I think they start to get out of their.

You know, it's like, because it had been a while since he'd done one, hadn't it? I think it had been quite some time. It had been a while. This was just a big disappointment. And what it felt like to me was the same thing with, and we'll get into it later because I'd do a whole episode on this, but I kind of felt the same thing when I watched The Ward.

It had been a long time since Carpenter had done a movie, too. I loved The War. See, I liked it, but it didn't feel like his other stuff. But he had Amber Heard. Amber Heard's awesome.

We'll get back to that. But again, it's one of those, like, directors go, like, and they just knock stuff out year after year. For a month. I'm not gay, but for Amber Heard, I totally would be. And she's gay, so.

I know, bro. You're halfway there. She's already meeting you halfway there. She's waiting for you. That's how I feel about Kristen Ritter.

I just love her weird little. Monkey face. I like her mean face, but yeah. I love her weird little monkey face. There's something about her that is so adorable to me.

You were going to win her over like that. She's just so weird looking, but so cute. Amber Heard's just hot, though. Yeah. Amber Heard is hot.

Most of the time. I've seen some pictures where she just looks like. A train wreck. Everybody's got a rough day, man. She's had some.

I'm telling you, I want to watch All the Boys Love Mandy Lane again. Yes. All the boys, they do love Mandy Lane. It's pretty impressive. Okay.

But the whole, yeah, I was very disappointed. I was very let down. I was marginally depressed on it, but, you know, I wasn't totally let down. Again, it's still there. Again, I think he's just kind of out of practice.

Like, And it probably just needed a better script, really, because the visuals are there. Yeah, the script sucked. The setup, the very beginning, with the hole and the whole creepiness of finding it and them sort of experimenting with it, that part was fun. But, I don't know, it just gets bogged down in all these other weird little... Each one has.

Their own weird side story. I know that's the whole premise, but I just... I got over that real quick. Okay, yeah, boring. The last one that we're going to...

I watched Husk, too, but I don't think there's any point in discussing this. I watched it by myself, and nobody's going to know anything about that. It's Husk. It had Jimmy from fucking Harper's Island. And I love Harper's Island and I love Jimmy.

But that one was stupid. It had a killer scarecrow. Yeah, it was dumb. But then we watched The Devil's Carnival. Yeah.

We're probably going to get a bunch of people hate us for this. Fuck that movie. Eh, fine. Feel free. You're entitled to your opinion.

I loved Repo, the genetic opera. I did too. It was fantastic. It was amazing. It held my attention.

It was just All the songs were fantastic. It's a lot of fun. And the songs are relatively good. So we went into this thinking that this was going to be as good. Repo Part 2.

Yeah, or better. I would hope, yeah. Than Repo, and it wasn't. I only watched the first half hour of it, but I kind of. It's only like 55 minutes long.

Oh, really? Yeah. Well, then I watched half of it, and I kind of liked it. But I got to the part where the guy kills the one girl with the knife. Yeah, I just.

I don't know. I hated it all through. The only, the only redeeming thing about this damn movie is after the credits start at the end. Yeah. There's a song.

Credits end at the end. There's a credit. That song that the girl sings. It's in the trailer. Yeah.

Jessica Lowndes. Low, Low, I don't know how to say her name. Jessica L-O-W-D-N-E-S or whatever. Whatever you say. Lowndes.

Whatever, I probably just spelled it wrong, too. I'm not fucking looking at the internet. That one girl, who cares? That one girl was in Altitude, and I fucking hated Altitude. I hated this movie even worse.

It was just so pointless. That was the only reason I wanted to watch the movie was because of the song. And I thought, oh, this is great. I like this song. And that was the only song I liked out.

Of the whole movie. And it was after the end credits started. I had to sit through this whole movie just to get the ending of it. I could have just fast-forwarded through all of it. But it was just way over the top to me.

And not in a fun way. No, not in a fun way. And it was just meandering. It just kept going everywhere. And it was just dumb.

And I love Sean Patrick Flannery, as everybody knows. But he looked weird. I didn't even realize it was Sean Patrick Flannery. I didn't either. He was like, it's Sean Patrick Flannery.

I was like, where? She's like, right there. I was like, get out of here. That's not him. I was pretty sure the one guy was Bill Moseley.

I was like, that has to be Bill Moseley. But then I had to look it up. And then I was like, holy shit, that's Sean Patrick Flannery. And Alexa Vega was in it. Who's that?

She was the main chick from Repo. She's in Repo. She's the spy kid. I don't remember. She used to be the spy kid.

I didn't really like Repo, though. I loved Repo. But I think the girl that got killed with a knife on the little spinny thing, she was retarded. But she was pretty. Yeah, that's Jessica Lown.

She sings the song that I'm talking about. I can't remember the name of the song right now, but it's a really good song. It's the best part of the whole damn movie. What are they saying? Was this originally some kind of a traveling opera or what was it?

Stage production? Stage production. So they're saying that people that follow the stage production probably really like this film. We knew nothing of the stage production. I knew that it existed.

Well, I didn't know anything about it. It's probably cooler to watch live. Yeah, it's one of those things. And maybe if you were a fan of that, you would really like the movie. But coming into it completely blindsided, expecting Repo and not getting Repo, you'd be kind of upset.

I always hate that reasoning, really, though. When people always go, oh, you have to read the book first. I'm like, if it's a movie, it should stand on its own as a movie. It shouldn't have to have a book to do backstory. You shouldn't have to have seen it on Broadway first or something.

It should be able to be a self-contained thing. Yeah, this is a movie that was made specifically only for a small audience. Us. I think people. Are either going to really hate it.

Really love it yeah and unfortunately we were the people that really hated it it doesn't mean that the people's acting was horrible they're all good actors you know it's just some of them so it was a little over the top just a little too. Over the top the guy who stabbed the girl was kind. Of hot though yeah he was kind of hot which one the the greaser guy yeah yeah okay yeah he was that whole area and her that was kind of redeemable but you know. He like made out with a girl in front of her. He's like, oh no, baby, I only like you.

And she's like, okay. Yeah. She's a retard. She was retarded. When she got stabbed, I was like, you should have seen that coming, dumb bitch.

But yeah, I was very, very, very disappointed in that movie. I was angry at it. I was like. The songs weren't as good as Repo songs. The songs all sucked, except for the one.

The one that's in. The trailer where they lure you in. That's how you make a good trailer. Sucker people. God, the trailer was fucking awesome.

I waited for this thing to come out because I was like, oh my god, this is going to be awesome. And then it completely went in an area that I didn't even think it was going to go. Stupid area. I was like, what? Huh?

What's going on here? Is it time for me to go to bed yet? What do you mean that was only 55 minutes long? It felt like an entire lifetime of stupid. I hated that movie.

Sorry, Bill Mosley. He makes a lot of stuff. He makes anything. Anything from Mosley. He makes a lot of stuff.

You can pay him any. He wasn't even in this that much. He was barely in it. Yeah, he was barely in this. I was like, oh, Bill Mosley's going to be in it.

He'll probably be in it quite a bit. He's barely in it. Barely in it. He's kind of a whiny bitch in it. Yeah, a little bit.

Oh, well, whatever. He didn't have a huge part in Repo, really. Okay. Okay. Make sure I'm not playing footsie with Marlena.

Oh, no, that's not me. The only song I remember from Repo was at the opera tonight. That's the only one I remember. No, I remember the Close to the End song. The one that Giles did.

All the Elektra stuff. Her Alexa stuff was good. Like her whole little rocking out in her room thing. Yeah. That had Joan Jett show up for no good reason except she's fucking Joan Jett.

Gosh, no. I don't remember liking it. It was too, like, weird to me, which is weird because I like musicals and things like that. I loved it. When the Zydrate song comes on my read, and my MP3 player, I'm like, hell yeah.

I love that song. Her big number at the end is kind of at it. Like, again, I expected more to come of her than, you know, like that. I mean, her performance is pretty good anyway, and then she, like, totally knocks out that big number at the end, and I was like, Okay, she's going to start getting real movies now, right? And she's continued to act, but she didn't move up in her ranks much.

I don't know. I expected more. She's in this movie. She's in Devil's Carnival. Barely.

I know. Which movie I want to see again. That's a musical that I love. Reefer Madness. Kristen Bell.

Kristen Bell. Goodbye, Mary Sunshine. And she gets all sexy and stuff. Mm-hmm. Such babes.

That's the only part of the movie I remember. Christabel's so awesome. I want to tackle her with a sloth and give her a big hug. Did you watch the video of her crying? That was so cute.

That was adorable. I don't think I have anything else. Do you have anything else? No, aside from watching Mr. Bean with a kid.

No, that's pretty much it. Okay. That's, yeah. Did I watch anything? No, I didn't.

There's half your episode right there. A whole bunch of rambling about sharks and my love for Amber Heard. I can't argue with at least one of those. Yeah, sharks are awesome. Sharks can be awesome.

If there's sci-fi channels involved, it's questionable. Sci-fi channel makes it more fucking awesome. I don't give a shit what anybody says. Sci-fi originals are awesome. I don't know about these shark movies unless there's an opus at the end of them.

The shark movies are better than a lot of the sci-fi originals that involve storms or tornadoes or combinations of both. What about i'm just wondering how long until like like saved by the bell cast are going to start being in sci-fi. I can't believe they're not already. Yeah i mean who's i mean who wouldn't want to see like. Zach or sharknado yeah that's the one i was thinking i was trying to think what is the one where it's a shark jammed.

Into a tornado oh yeah it's gonna be oh yeah Unfortunately. I feel like we say it and it's just going to happen. It's already in the works. Ninja sharks. What about the, what was the other one?

It was like the cheerleader zombies and sharks. Oh God. Vampire sharks. Something like that. It was, it was pretty ridiculous.

I would watch the hell out of it. It's like somebody just takes a big box of shit and throws it up in the air and then they're like, no, look, look, they pull out tags. Zombie shark, uh, festival. Tournament. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like those stupid magnetic poems. It's like that. Somebody just throws it in a refrigerator and that's their script. Yeah, they throw it in a refrigerator and that's it.

Let's see. We gotta make it. I wanna do that. I wanna do like a spin the wheel and whatever word Wheel of fish! It's like an improv movie.

Like, a movie that's just improv. That's probably half a sci-fi movie. Probably. That's what it was. I subjected my kid to UHF.

Ooh. And she actually loved it. Okay, that's why I was wondering how it would work on the next. Well, she. Loved it, you know?

And I was like, you know, I was like, I was like, you probably shouldn't tell your mom this because your mom really hates you, weird Al. But there was a time when I thought this movie was awesome and I want you to see. I was older than you, but. I still think the movie's awesome. Yeah, we watched it and she was like, I was like, did you like it?

And she goes, I liked it. I thought it was pretty cool. Of course, her favorite was the Stanley Spadowski. I do love Stanley Spadowski. My favorite's Specialist City.

Specialist City. Spatula city but uh. Yeah your boyfriend made me watch that didn't he yeah yeah I did. I needed a spatula yeah I was like we need to go to spatula city and she was like what and I was like ooh you gotta watch the commercial and I. Just stared at it like what the fuck are you making me watch.

Yeah that reminds me of painted Arizona like the spatula. City commercial unpainted Arizona. Yeah unpainted Arizona sorry oops fuck that. Up bathroom bedroom boudoir it. I watched a few things All right.

Go for it. Okay. Last night I watched Sleepwalk With Me on Netflix. Sort of. I've heard a lot about this.

Sort of. I haven't gotten to it yet. I mean, I feel like I'm not an accurate... I probably shouldn't even talk about this movie because I was half asleep. I have no idea what it is.

Did you start walking? That's the question. Yes. I mean, it's kind of weird that I was kind of sleeping while watching a movie called Sleepwalk With Me. No, I didn't start walking.

Although I did get up later and take a shower and leave my house. While asleep? While asleep, yeah. No, I woke up to do that. Oh, never mind.

If it was like shower sleep with me, that would rent that movie. That's a whole other movie. In the rated X section. But that is, you know, how that story goes. It kind of seemed like a little bit slow, but I think Mike Birbiglia is a pretty funny guy.

Like, I like hearing his stuff on the radio. But in the movie, his name was. Matt, like. Pediglia or. Something like that I think everybody's like that because they have other like comics that are his friends and they all have like fake names that are kind of just like the real names.

Too yeah that just like cracked me up but it seemed like there were some really good like I don't know poignant moments about relationships and shit and like life. But I hate movies like that. But I was like half asleep so. I didn't catch those I don't need any movie life that's what they should have come. Up with some kind of message or something like that yeah I want sharks not messages.

Yeah, but it seemed like it was pretty good. Plus, it had that girl from Six Feet Under that everybody loves. Which girl? Lauren Ambrose. Lauren Ambrose.

Oh, yeah. She can sing opera. If an indie-type movie, you need to show Lauren Ambrose. Pretty much. Yeah.

And I also watched The Devil's Playground, which is a movie about Amish people. You do love you some Amish people. I do love some Amish. I need to go to my Amish doctor. Who was that that was telling me about the Amish Mafia?

Oh, that's some stupid show on, like, TLC. Somebody was trying to tell me that at work, and I was like, dude, why are you talking to me? Go away. Amish people don't even like to be photographed. Let's steal their souls.

Is that what it is? It's just against the religion. Dude, I am going to so go around and, like, take photographs of them. You're going to. Have a collection of Amish souls?

I'm going to be like, I stole your soul! I don't know why, exactly, but they just. Because it's technology, and it steals their soul. Well, also, Amish people are super holistic, um. They're like hippies.

Amish are hippies. They're secretly hippies with wool clothes. They all have beards. Well, only the married ones have beards. I'm talking about hippies too.

That's why I go to the Amish doctor. It's like a hippie... Oh. They're holistic. They're like herbalists.

There's like an herbalist and it's like their doctor. But they're herbalists. They don't believe in like Radio waves and sweet and low. You can go to Ladyhawk. Radio waves will kill you.

Yeah. But, um, yeah, they're basically kind of like, it's like a hippie commune. It's really, that's kind of what the Amish are like. I've got a friend that works with them, uh, doing some farming and stuff like that, but I. Don't talk to them.

Except they have weird accents. Don't talk to them much about it. But this is a, Devil's Playground was like some documentary made a few years ago about this, like, about, it's about Amish kids, I won't spring it, but, um, One of the guys is, like, addicted to meth or something like that. And it's... She gets crazy.

I don't know. Amish out of control. Amish gone wild. I feel like recently someone else I know got mistaken for somebody that was Amish. And I can't think who it was.

Or a terrorist. Yeah. I do like that link that... I think it was Greg or Fred posted on my Facebook page. Amish or hipster.

Did you look at that? I didn't look at it. I saw that. That was awesome. That was pretty funny.

My friend... When I saw a Mennonite person at a gas station... I don't know the fucking difference between Amish and Mennonite people. Usually Mennonite girls wear colored dresses. That's the only thing I know.

But I said something about seeing an Amish person getting Red Bull and snacks and stuff. And one of my friends was like. It was. Probably a Mennonite. They love junk food.

And his thing that he says constantly, not to a point where it's so annoying I want to choke him to death, is like... He would say, Mennonite your face. And I wanted to say that to him on Facebook. And then be like, oh, you already Mennonited your own face. And then the moment passed.

But that's been building up inside me for like. A really long time. Do you feel better now? So I had to just let it out. Like your therapeutic moment?

Yeah. At what point is it going to make any sense? Yeah, that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I'm not you saying it, but him saying it. You can cut that out, but I mean, I just had to get that out.

No, leave it in. No, I don't want everybody to think I'm dumb. I don't want at least a. Dozen people thinking I'm a retard. No, I'm not saying that you saying it was dumb.

I'm saying that him saying it's dumb. Yeah, he just does that all the time. I don't know why. He's like a grown-ass fan. He just does dumb things.

He's actually really funny, but I mean. A lot of grown-ass men say dumbass things all the time. You got a point there. Yeah, I work with a bunch of them. Oh, and then I watched a whole bunch of kid movies with Lydia, and watching her watch Nightmare Before Christmas is hilarious.

Awesome. No one can see this, but you guys can appreciate this. When we're in the car and there's music playing on the TV, this is her dancing. Let me round it out. And then she also like she's doing every daniel it's just really funny but uh she knows all the words to nightmare before christmas and her favorite part is when jack skellington says take off my head and she tries to take off her head it's really weird but it's it's cute yep i watch those two movies probably because all i ever watch is tv shows i watch a lot of um I can't help it.

It's just on Netflix. Because it's always on. It is always on. You can't escape it. But it's always on Netflix.

That's really what I have. I just turned the sound down. It's always studying Philadelphia. That's pretty much what I watch. Also, Don't Trust the Bee in Apartment 23.

Which is pretty entertaining, actually. Only because James Van Der Beek is in it as himself. As himself. That's the funniest thing in the world. The really retarded dick version of himself.

Like a very shallow Hollywood type. But he's playing this, so he's consciously making himself a shallow Hollywood type. I never cared much for him, but, like, now I kind of like him. That's the thing. Even on the show, he wasn't.

Someone who can play themselves as that is just awesome. It's a douche. Yeah. I'm telling you, that Thanksgiving episode where he got in a fight with the homeless man, that was awesome. I like the People Magazine episode where it's just, like, everyone knows he's not sexy at all.

And then she's, like, going to make him a... The cover of People Magazine or whatever. Sexiest Man Alive. Yeah. God, it's funny.

It is always funny when people will play themselves as something. That was, well, Larry Sanders' show was amazing about that kind of stuff. But I think the one in particular I remember that always did that was David Duchovny. He's like, I'll only come on if I can, because the whole thing was, it's a talk show and they come on as themselves, in theory. Right.

So he's like, only if I can. Be a dick. And he sat there and was like a jerk the whole time. And I'm like, well. And that's what his whole show is about.

Yeah. It's just him being a dick. So he might just really be a dick. Maybe. Where's the line between you acting and pretending that you're this person and then just being this person?

If you get really good at performing it, you might just be that. You're not an asshole. You're just a really good actor. That's going to be what I tell her. I'm not a mean person.

I'm just really good at acting. Hell yeah. Not me. I'm just a dick. I'm an ass.

Hmm. But, um, yep, I think that's about it. I'll probably think of something really hilarious that happened. I didn't think of anything hilarious, but I remember something we did that was pretty exciting. Uh-oh.

I went to Pony Island and I rode the Cyclone. I'm still mad. Didn't we talk about this at the, uh, Halloween episode? We hadn't gone yet. Yeah, you said you were going to go.

Oh, we did? Yeah, we hadn't gone yet. You were talking about your plans for Halloween. I thought we did. Oh, what?

We hadn't gone yet. We were planning on going. Where did we go when we got back? Anyways, the week before, we got home three days before the big-ass storm hit the entire fucking East Coast. Yeah, whatever the name of that place was.

Was it Sandy? Sandy, Hurricane Sandy, yeah. So if you dealt with that. Sorry. Dude, that sucks.

I'm sorry. I know. I mean, I hope we didn't bring it on you because it would suck. No, we didn't. But we were, like, almost every place we went got hit, and that's horrible.

You were, like, running from it. You didn't know it, but you were, like. A couple of days. We were heading towards it. Because we were, like, we went from New York onto Maryland, so we were going this way, you know.

Then we went this way. So it's, like, it was coming up this way. We were going this way. Then we went this way. Yeah, we went.

That works so well on the radio. We went through New York all the way. Well, basically we drove, I forgot how many miles, what was it, 2,000 miles we drove? I don't know. It was a hell of a long drive.

We drove out of the way pretty much because I took a wrong turn and kept going, yeah, fuck the GPS. You don't know shit. Anyways. Anyways, I went up to Ohio and then across Pennsylvania and we barely caught a glimpse of a punk Punxsutawney? Punxsutawneyville?

Punxsutawney. Yeah, whatever the fuck that place is. Punxsutawney? Punxsutawney? I can't say it anymore because apparently my mouth doesn't work.

We saw it from the highway. It was the most beautiful little town. Yeah, Missy was like, oh, look, there it is. And I'm like, oh, shit, we could have got off there. Damn it.

And then by the time I thought about it, it was too late. Did you see Bill Murray standing there? No. Because he's stuck there for all eternity. That would be awesome.

I would like to hang out with Bill Murray one day. You need to make that happen. We drove all the way through there, and then up through New Jersey, and then into New York, and then stayed in New York. Did we hit New Jersey or New York first? No, we went through the top part of New Jersey.

Oh, yeah. Did you go to New Jersey shore? No, we did that. We went through New York to stay in New York City. Did you see Sharks?

Damn it. And, uh. Let's see, uh. Went to Coney Island. Went to Coney Island.

Or the subway. It was not as frightening as I'd anticipated. No. I've got to say, that was one thing that kind of disappointed me about New York, because I was waiting to kill somebody or either kick somebody's ass. And everywhere we went, nothing ever happened.

So here I am riding the subway waiting for 70s era, you know, gang. I'm like... Like Death Wish. Yeah, it's like, you know, is. This guy looking at me bad?

Because I'm going to kill him, you know? And then I'm like, oh wait, this guy's just homeless. Oh, okay, well. I was kind of, in a way, relieved and in a way a little disappointed because I didn't get to fight anybody. We didn't even see that much home with people.

You were like waiting for the Weisslers to show up. I was waiting for something, you know? The Wayans brothers. Yeah. What the hell?

But yeah, no, we had a very enjoyable trip and then. So it was not at all like the Warriors. Not at all like the Warriors. Damn it. Went to Coney Island, rode the Cyclone.

That was my big thing. That was like the entire purpose of New York. So I could go to Coney Island and ride the fucking Cyclone. I rode the hell out of the Cyclone. And it was fucking phenomenal.

Did you guys go eat anywhere in New York? There's like lots of cool places to eat. Well, aside from eating at that one restaurant the first night that we were there that Fozzie took us to that I can't remember the name of. We ate at the. Geez, now I can't even remember the little restaurant that's underneath the apartment building or the, the area where they live.

I don't know. Uh, there was. Something in, I don't know. That's pretty good though. Yeah.

Either way, it's, it's really good. Uh, and a sandwich shop here, there. It made me sick. We really didn't go anywhere. Uh, there were a couple of places where we should have went, but we didn't go.

We weren't in New York very long. We got there. Two days. Friday night, left Sunday morning. So we weren't.

So yeah, we were there really only about a day and a half. Um, So it was kind of a very whirlwind tour of. That's all the naked cowboy. He was not at all naked. Gotta see this, gotta see this, gotta see this.

He's been doing that for a while. He's gotta be like old naked cowboy. He's like a millionaire. They have a naked Indian now. Yeah.

No, he's like a millionaire, the naked cowboy. I saw it once on Ripley's, believe it or not. Why exactly? Because he's been doing that for so long and he gets so much money. People pay him money, you know?

I mean, he's like a landmark of New York. Yeah, pretty much. Okay. I'll definitely tell you, Times Square was. Crazy.

Crazy, yeah. Did you see lots of gold people and silver people? We saw a Statue of Liberty person. We did see a couple gold people. Yeah, a couple guys, gold, a couple silver guys.

Everybody in costumes. Everybody in costumes. Shit ton of people, and they were mostly Mexicans. Not that I'm being racist, but whenever somebody threw their hat off. Just making an observation.

They would stand around in these costumes. SpongeBob. Picture? You want that picture? Spider-Man.

That was more of an Asian voice. It sounded like his mom. She gets stuff next up. No, I just have like one accent. It's all the same.

Not like your mom. It sounds like her version of your mom. Oh, yeah. Doesn't your Polish lady sound a little bit Mexican? You share.

You share. Yeah, it's also you share. I'm a Polish lady. You share. No, we have a Polish lady at work and she's ridiculous.

Does she make you sausage? No, I'm from Australia. No, because our other girl was like, she was talking to the Polish lady. She's like, we need to fix you up. And the Polish lady was like, no.

I don't need a man. I pleasure myself. I have toys. That's awesome. I want this lady to be my friend.

Her name's Marlena. Oh. Yes. Your future is mapped out. We're going to.

Be Marlena brothers. Great sisters. Whatever. If you were a mother, you didn't have to be boys. That's gross.

Oh, yeah. But anyways, we left New York and drove down the Jersey. We went to, like, Asbury Park. Yeah. It was fucking amazing.

Red Hook. Huh? Red Bank. Red Bank, yeah, sorry. Went to Red Bank and all that shit.

It was fantastic. Yeah, you suck, because I didn't get to go. It was awesome. I didn't see anybody fucking from the movies or anything. Steve Dave wasn't there.

It's because they all live... Well, no, they do still live in Jersey. Did you see Jerry Seinfeld? No. I didn't see anybody famous.

Kevin's in L.A. The rest of them are still hanging out at the comic show. Didn't see any Olsens the entire time we were in New York. I wasn't looking. I was.

Did you see Murray Bobich? I didn't see anybody. No, I did not see Murray Bobich. That's an episode I haven't seen. I know.

I got that one. I hate that show. But yeah, anyways, we went to, where else did we go? Went to Maryland. No, we went down, we tried to hit as many boardwalks as we could.

Seaside Heights. We only had so much time. We went to Seaside Heights, which is where Jersey Shore was actually filmed. Yeah, we went to there. But we hit a couple other places, too.

A couple other boardwalks. that I can't remember. Went to Maryland. That was pretty fun. Went to Baltimore. Went to Baltimore.

A lot of homeless people. A lot of homeless people. I'm pretty sure that they ship all the homeless people from New York to Baltimore. Probably. Because I didn't see hardly any homeless people in New York, but I saw a shit ton of them in Baltimore.

And. I blame Randy. Randy's awesome. I don't think Randy has anything to do with it. But Randy's awesome.

Randy is awesome. Randy and Lisa. We had a very good time. Actually, we did not. Say that because I don't want random people to show up and say, hey, can we stay here?

No. He'll probably let them. No. He's pretty damn nice. But, yeah.

For a mean dude. Are their dogs nice? Their dogs look so cute. They're awesome. All their dogs are fantastic.

Fozzie and George have the most cutest dogs, too. Yeah, their dogs are cute, too. Is this some sort of cute dog contest? No. No, because Randy would say his dogs would win, and then Fozzie would say his would win.

And then it would just turn into a big bloody dog battle royale. And we don't need that. Pay-per-view. So. Randy's dogs were awesome.

Yes. Okay. So. Fabulous time was had. Mm-hmm.

Excellent time was had. Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum was on to us. Yes. And the drive back home took for fucking ever. It did.

Doesn't it always? It took forever. Any trip anywhere. I think usually the drive home is... I think I drove all the way until we got just outside of Kentucky.

And then I let you take the controls because I. Was about to go nuts. I drove us to Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. And they kept you. It took a long time to get out of Baltimore. I mean, to get out of Maryland. Maryland's a long fucking state.

I didn't think Maryland was that big, but for some reason, I don't know if we just drove around the outside part of Maryland and did a complete loop and then came back out. But I was like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. Are we out of Maryland yet? No, it was finally in Virginia. I was like, oh, thank God we're in Virginia.

West Virginia. West Virginia, whatever. One of those Virginias. We're coasting the circumference of this. Exactly.

But if anybody out there gets a chance to stop by the West, it's in West, it's in West and West Virginia. It's the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum and it is fantastic. It's huge. Is it like a closed down asylum? No, no.

It's open to the public. It's closed as in there's no people in there but they run tours and like that kind of stuff. It's just a beautiful little town. It's like a little, it's a little tiny town that looks like it's straight out of a Thomas Kinkade painting without all the booze and the crack but You know, it's got a little river that runs. The booze and cracking Thomas Kinkade thing?

No, he was a booze addict. He was a drug addict. Oh, yeah. It was personal. Yeah, yeah.

Don't tell my grandma that because she loves Thomas Kinkade. Nature of light. Yeah. Beautiful little town. I was like, I wanted to see it.

It was on like the... Roadside America website. I'm like, I wonder if it's anything like Waverly, because you can't see that shit from the fucking road. You can't. It's like, I wonder if we can at least see it.

It's like five minutes off the highway, and it's like right there. It's almost like right in the middle of town. It's like right behind the town. You have the little town, and it's like right there. Yeah, but I think that's what pretty much put that town on the map was the insane asylum.

Because they had tuberculosis. Which dwarfs the. Tiny little town. Yeah, they've even got a tuberculosis ward on there, too. It's a really big place, really beautiful.

And they've been in the process of trying. To renovate it. And we were there before Halloween, so they had, like, dead bodies hanging out windows. Yeah. And the cool thing was, we got up there before they opened.

There was a girl that was working outside. And I asked her if it was okay to take pictures. And she was really cool. And she was like, yeah. She was like, do you want to see the inside?

And we were like, yeah, duh. Didn't do it ever. Yeah. So she let us kind of go in the opening, like the entryway and inside a little bit and kind of told us a little bit about it. I got to go pee in there.

Misty got to go to the creepy bathroom. And in the bathroom. She didn't go to the bathroom. She just went pee in there. In the garbage can.

Yeah. Ma'am, get out of this hallway. I just climbed in the floor. Yeah. Yeah, they have the little offices set up that look like they were.

Yeah, the staircase. We got to look at the staircase and stuff like that. She was like, well, if you guys hang out for another couple hours, we're opening tours. And we were like, eh, we got to get back on the road and get home. But it was fantastic.

So if anybody gets a chance. Yeah. Awesome place. Look it up. Very excellent.

All right. We're done again, I think. Sorry about that. How did we get back to that? I wanted to talk about riding the cyclone at Coney Island.

How did we get on that? I wanted to talk about it. Oh. Because it was awesome. Why would Brian ask about it?

It was awesome. Brian had asked his different answer. Okay, well, you know what? I've got to say, people back then must have been tiny because we barely fit in the damn seats in the Cyclone. They had to fucking wedge our asses in there.

And then the guy stepped on the bar. And I had to pee really bad. And that's bad when you've got to pee. And they step on the bar and it goes right down on your bladder. And then you're getting ready to go on a roller coaster.

Why didn't you pee before that? Because the bathrooms were disgusting. You went in the bathroom at the subway. Just go to the insane asylum like Missy did. No, this was days away from the insane asylum.

Come on. In my mind, this is all the same story. We're on a big beach. You can just go out there. You can just go pee in the ocean.

Yeah, there were no bushes out there. Just do like what Jessica's ex-boyfriend Danny used to do when we'd go to the lake. Pee in the water? Yep. Is it getting warm in here?

Yeah, then right after we leave, the entire coast gets hit, and I'm like, holy shit. Good thing you saw it when you did. Yeah. Well, that was kind of my joke to her when we were going up there. It was just about, whether or not we were going to get to go to Coney Island because Coney Island, the season, it was going to be shut down.

They're shutting it down? Well, no, no, it shuts down for the season. Oh, okay, for the season. And I was like, she was like, oh, no, we're never going to get to go. And you should have booked it earlier.

And then I got online and I looked and they were having the Halloween special. So they were running it and we were like, you know, I don't know. We're like, oh, we better go. Let's go before the thing falls apart or something happens where we won't ever see it again. So we went ahead and went.

I think, I'm pretty sure the cyclone survived the storm. It was all pretty rough, though. Didn't you post that split screen you had of, like, the picture you took and then stuff from the news? Yeah, that was from Ocean City, actually. And that was right outside of, I think, the skate shop.

Yeah, that was right outside the skate shop that I took a picture of. I took one picture of it, where it was really nice, and I'd found another picture that might have been on NBC's news site, standing in the exact same spot. Where I was standing. That's why I was like, how the hell did you not take both of these? It's so weird.

It was just totally strange, but it was great. It was kind of cool. It was just. Frightening because everywhere that they kept showing the. Pictures, we were there.

We're here at Randy's house. It didn't get Randy. Thankfully, it did not get Randy. I didn't realize until that, sorry about how many friends I have that live on the East Coast, and I'm like, no, everybody will be okay, and then they were. I think everybody that we knew ended up being okay, too.

I don't think they sustained any damage. Jessica's family's house was destroyed. Like, all of her family in New York, they got hit pretty bad. Her cousin that just had a baby, they, like, lost everything. Yikes, that's horrible.

Yeah. Anyways, sharks. Shut up. Movie! Movies that I've watched don't have sharks in them.

Aw, you suck. Well. This is going to be boring. No, people get stabbed in this one. By sharks.

It's really hard for them to hold a knife. Oh, next sci-fi original. No, they just like back into people. Yeah. Really fast.

They get stabbed by sharks like. Sharks. By sharks. Impaled with fins. I get it.

Yeah. Shark shaped implements. Destruction. They have shark knives. I've seen them.

That's wild. Pretty fantastic. Shark knife. Hammerhead sharks just smack you upside the head with their hands. Anyway, so this would be a relatively new, in which I hardly ever see new movies.

I saw Hitchcock. Meh. Yeah. Again, my main issue with it was the same one I had when I watched the trailer, which I'm like, that just looks like Anthony Hawkins. They'll take Anthony Hopkins and they'll try to place him in any old man role.

They will. Yeah. And sometimes he does better than others. And it's not the performance. I still think he does a great job.

He does. As far as acting. No, but I've seen other movies with Anthony Hopkins in it. And you see it and you're like, this is great. It's Anthony Hopkins.

Yeah. Well, I mean, he's gotten very hammy in the last decade or so. I've called him out for several of his performances in recent years. This one, to me, isn't that over-the-top. It's actually kind of, especially for somebody as, like, identifiable and literally was turned into a caricature over the years, that, like, he doesn't totally take it over the top.

He doesn't get really cheesy with it. It's like he does a pretty real human, like, actually a little more dialed back than I, you know, what stories I hear about Hitchcock over the years. It's like he plays it pretty normal. He's not quite as crazy as And weird with his actors. I mean, he's got his weird little issues, but he actually makes him a little more human than I expected.

But, I don't know. It's just the makeup. I don't know. I can't get past the fact that it just looks like Anthony Hopkins with a weird neck piece on. It looks just.

They didn't really do that much to the rest of him. Granted, he doesn't have to wear as much padding as many years ago. He's getting a little more rotund these days, but I don't know. It just, it all seems like Anthony Hopkins. Well, that's what, I haven't seen this movie, but like, you know, Misty was saying, well, how do you know that you've seen this movie?

I saw one of my favorite movies is The World's Fastest Indian. Yeah. That's got Anthony Hopkins in it playing Burt Monroe. I feel like I'm watching Anthony Hopkins playing Burt Monroe. Yep.

So, it's, He, I mean, you know, he's done huge, you know, stuff like Nixon, which is, again, very identifiable. To me, that one, he sort of, maybe the makeup was just done a little bit. I don't know. He still kind of seemed like Anthony Hopkins. Yeah, it's just, it's...

But even that was a decent performance. He doesn't do a weird over-the-top... It's funny that he almost does a better performance when they put him behind all this weird prosthetics, and I don't know, because when he's himself lately, he does really cheesy, hammy kind of stuff, and. I mean, he wasn't hammy in the World's Fastest Indian. He was very serious.

He can turn in some amazing performances, and this one's pretty well done. But I just, yeah. The other thing I think that kind of suffers, and maybe it's just me, like maybe I'm a big geek and I knew a lot of the stuff, but I felt like all the stuff about, because it centers specifically on Psycho. It picks up at the premiere of the movie right before that, and like, ends with them going to the opening night of Psycho. So it's just about them making Psycho.

And I feel like a lot of the stories that they're telling I'd heard before, like maybe just in documentaries about him or weird behind-the-scenes stuff on the Psycho disc. I don't know. But it felt like I knew a lot of the stuff they were telling, which maybe for regular people it wouldn't be that. I don't know. It may not have that issue.

Do they super embellish on a lot of stuff? They go into a lot. In a way, it's almost. the part I found more interesting, they go into the relationship with him and his wife and Helen Mirren does an amazing job as playing his wife and, and how instrumental she was in his process and in his, like the whole overall, you know, finding the movies and making it work. And even to the point of editing it together by the end of it, it's like, she was really instrumental throughout his career and, and didn't get any of that credit for it. So it's, It focuses on a little of that, but it also focuses on their relationship and the fact that they're, I mean, it is weird when they go to their bedroom and they have separate beds.

And I'm like, well, this wasn't on TV. Like, they had to do that on, you know, TV shows back then, but I think a lot of couples had that going, too, and they had that. I want to do that, too. I want to do that at some point. But not just, like, separate beds.

I want them in a different room. I kind of know people that do that, too, actually. Dude, you haven't heard him snore. It's like a drowning duck for some time. Maybe this was for her own safety.

Maybe she's afraid he'd roll over and squish her. I don't know. I gotta worry about getting elbowed. There you go. Don't be grabbing me.

I grabbed his nose the other night. He was snoring. He sticks his nose strips to my arm. I can't keep the damn things on. Unless you want them off.

I peel them off my sleeve. I'm afraid when I wake up it's going to be tangled in my hair. Eventually. That's a matter of time. You should stick straws in your nose to keep your nose passage open.

I don't think that'll work. I'll just pull them out and throw them across the room. Roll over and impale your brain. Come on. I saw Evasion USA.

I want to get a nose. up my nose. That's how that chick died. And then she got thrown out the window. I'm not sure which killed her, the straw or getting thrown out the window. I don't know what you're talking about.

Neither was good. I have no idea what's going on. Me neither. But no, I mean, as far as like stories, how they, I don't know. It's like you have a character that you know and it's somebody that you pretty much know how their life is, and then Hollywood gets a hold of it and makes a movie, and then they throw shit in there just to make the story more interesting, and you're like, that never happened.

Why did that happen? Why did they put that in there? I didn't know if it was like that. Yeah, they had to add some stuff, you know? This one has a lot of stuff back and forth, and some people don't like that.

I think it was probably more, again, maybe because I already knew a lot of the movie stuff, and this was more the personal life, which you don't know anything about, so... I don't know how much it was based on like, I know they kind of based it on some of the books about them, but they go into a lot of weird, like she's got this friend that's a guy that's in the movie very into her. So I don't know how much of that real relationship was actually happening in the real world and how much they like just put it in there to give them some sort of like controversy going on. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff between the two of them relationship-wise that, again, I think is probably one of the more interesting parts of the movie, but I think that's the part that usually people don't care about.

But I'll tell you what I was impressed with, and it's funny that years ago I would have never. I don't know if I would have believed this, but Scarlett Johansson is pretty good in it. I did not expect... Again, wasn't she just a hot piece of ass a few years ago? And she keeps getting...

Real roles. And I'm like, each time I'm assuming she's just going to kind of walk through it because she's cute. I kind of always thought she was a respectable actress. Well, she started off like when she was young and doing kind of indie movies, she had a little credibility. And then once she got to be A-list girl, like they just kind of started throwing her every big movie.

They were like, yeah, they were like, hey, we need. We need a set of boobs for this. Yeah, please fill this dress. I don't really think Shiver became like the Katherine Heigl of stupid. Katherine Heigl is a self-righteous cunt.

Fucking hate her. Number one on people who want to punch in the face. Hell yeah. Actually, I think Misty would probably go for the throat on this one. People who want to punch in the throat.

I don't know. Probably both. I'd like. Jabbed and cried. Yeah.

Whatever. I don't fucking like her. Fucking cunt. I think she's, like, she was well above what Katherine Heigl was. Like, she really did become the go-to girl for, like, anything in a, you know, 10 age range.

If you needed somebody from 20 to 30, she was the first thing on the list. You need a beautiful girl with big boobs. Well, that doesn't hurt your career in Hollywood, but, you know, she, yeah, she became that. And to me, it seemed like they were throwing just every big movie at her, and it could have been, like, she was just cashing in, but she's turned in some pretty interesting performances lately, and this one's pretty good. It's funny how much it focuses on her.

It really focuses on her as one of the main stars in this movie, in Hitchcock, which she's not kind of in Psycho. If you've seen Psycho, she's... Who hasn't seen Psycho? Well, spoiler alert, I don't want to ruin it for you, but Vera Miles kind of becomes the lead, and it's funny how much she gets totally like, And it goes a little bit into that, how Hitchcock had issues with his leading ladies and how he had problems with her. And that's why she ended up in this role.

Who played Vera Miles in that movie? Jessica Biel, I think. Really? I just thought of something. Yeah, Jessica Biel.

A little off track. But if you think about Ghost World, which was my favorite movie with Scarlett Johansson ever... And how small her boobs are compared to Thora Birch. Thora Birch must have gigantic boobies. I mean, I know she does.

It's kind of obvious that she does. But if Scarlett Johansson already has big boobs. I forgot about her being in that movie. Yeah, she's kind of... I.

Totally forgot her being in that movie. I only remember. She's barely in it. I mean, she disappears midway into the movie. Because the movie is almost all about Thora Birch's gigantic boobs.

I thought it was about her and that creepy... Steve Buscemi's awesome. Yeah, that's what it's about, really. Yeah, I was like, what? How does he get Thorbert?

Because he's awesome? No, I don't know. I can see. I feel like he did a lot, and I could totally get it. I get it.

You would totally touch with Steve Buscemi, wouldn't you? Don't lie, don't lie. Probably. We know you. You know me.

You can't lie. We all know the truth. So, yeah, I don't know. This. Looks aren't that important to me on some levels.

They are to me. I'm incredibly superficial. And we all know it. We know you. I can never go for Steve Buscemi because I don't like his teeth.

But his eyes are okay. No, I don't really like his eyes. And his teeth are really what bother me. But he has his own thing, man. Yeah, I know.

He's got Steve Buscemi eyes. It's his puffy peepers and his snaggle teeth. But you like that. No. No.

I don't know. They do some good stuff, though, as far as casting. Actually, that's the thing. Jessica Biel doesn't do a bad job. She doesn't have a lot of screen time.

They really do kind of shaft her the way that Hitchcock was missed. At Peter Marles. Whenever you say her name, I think of Jennifer Beals, and I'm like, what does Flashdance Girl got to do with this? She's got a lot of movie roles these days, too. She had that TV show.

Anyway, but yeah, they do some interesting casting on some of the other people. It's worth watching, but I just wasn't I'll never see it. Blown away. I expected more. I think I was just hoping for more.

I wanted some better. And didn't they do like two different Hitchcock movies at almost the. Exact same time? There's another one I think coming out. Maybe it's like an HBO movie or something.

I think it's a cable movie, but it's supposedly... And again, I'll watch that because I kind of want to see if they do something different than what this one did. I wish they didn't stick that low hand in it. Oh, God. Did you make a tiny little...

My friend was at a bar in Cincinnati the other day and some guy came up to him and was like, are you me when I was younger? And he was like, I don't think so. See, I would totally be like, yes. This is my money. Did he just watch New Girl?

I know. I was a definite episode of New Girl. I unfortunately can say I watched it. Season one was awful, but season two is funny. We were talking about that the other day.

It's just, It's just weird that it doesn't even focus on her. If you ask me, it's all about fucking Schmidt. I love him because he was awesome on Veronica Mars. Who was he on Veronica Mars? Deputy Leo Land.

You wouldn't even know it, would you? No. He's a different kind of guy when he's schmitty. That's crazy. Season one, it wasn't Leo.

His name was Leo. Lamb was the other Dick. Sorry, I got him confused there for a second. I don't remember Leo's last name. It was Don Lamb and then Leo.

It was Leo's last name. I don't remember. I told you I was still weirded out because Dick is playing a regular person now. Dick's always Dick. Who?

What? Dick Casablancas from Veronica. Oh, from Party Down. Oh, yeah. The surfer dude.

Yeah. Who always plays a surfer dude, except now they jammed. That's like two broke girls. Now they jammed him into two broke girls, and he's got, like, a haircut, and he talks like a normal human being, and I'm just like, who is this guy? He was actually on an episode of Key & Peele, and he was like, oh, oh, man, I just got this Bureau of My Tribe Called Quest shirt.

I like it. Like, again, in Party Down, he's amazing. I love it. He proved that he actually is a good actor. Like, he was just a dick when he was Dick Casablancas.

But, like, on Party Down, he's amazing. I don't know. I love New Girl Season 2. It's funny. I can't watch it.

It's because the girl... I just can't watch her anymore. I mean, I used to love Zooey Deschanel, but now she just pisses me off because she's. The queen of hipsters. Sure, she is.

Again, the Season 1... was worse because they were like going out of their way to make her like that like season two they just don't really focus on her so she's just a girl well it's. Like it's like the same with um uh parks and recreation like leslie nope was this unlikable fucking moron of a character in season one and season two she's like this awesome kick-ass like leader it's kind of the same with her you. Know it's just like i didn't come in too late on that one she was. Like this Jess was like a clueless, and I've only seen two episodes of this season so I don't really know, but she was like this clueless idiot who couldn't function in the real world and now she's more just like a quirky weirdo.

I've been watching Vampire Diary. I want to watch American Horror Story, but I want to be able to sleep in my house again. Seriously. You could do it. It's not that scary.

All you're going to do is have nightmares of people having sex with each other because that's all they do in the fucking episode is sex. I know. I know, but there's that one episode with the pig. But you left your 100-year-old creepy house. I moved into a 100-year-old creepy house.

That's what I was going to ask. What's your new creepy house like? Creepy. 1894 house. It's actually really awesome.

You guys have to come over. It's big. It's gigantic. It's bigger than the perimeters of my body. Unlike my last place.

Yeah, your last place was about the size of the room we're in now. My whole apartment is bigger than your whole apartment. Pretty much. That I used to live in would fit in my kitchen. Yeah, it's pretty great.

Although the bathroom's a lot smaller, but that's okay because I have two and a half bedrooms. Awesome. And you can actually go in your bathroom. You had a bathroom before, but I don't think I could ever get it more than a foot or two. Well, you know, like the last six months or so, I got rid of a lot of stuff and I found a place for everything and my apartment was always clean.

So it was like, it was livable. Like the last, before I decided to move out. You know, cause it's like, I think I was able to tolerate living there so long. I was just like, I just need. To clean up and it'll be totally fun.

And I'll have all this space. And then I like, then you cleaned up and went, fuck this. Exactly. And I was like, yeah, no, I think I want a bigger apartment. But I was, I was actually going to move away.

And then my mom decided to move to the exact same place I was going. And I was like, okay. Maybe I'll stay. See, that's why you gotta tell her you're moving someplace else. I'm moving to Alaska.

Going to Alaska. See you there. But I mean, it was nice. So has she packed up her unicorn and rug yet? No, but she's given me all the stuff that I want from her house, which is really cool.

Like the fog fountain? That's a small list, isn't it? No, my mom actually, believe it or not, has a lot of cool stuff because she likes that show Storage Wars. Oh, God. And she goes to storage units sometimes when she has money and buys the storage units.

There's a bunch of stuff that she has no interest in, but I'm like, I'll have this. Does she have anything I want? Highly doubtful. Sometimes. I got this really cool white ceramic Christmas deer today.

It's like pearly. I was like, I want this. Would it match my big squirrel that I have in there? Yes. No, it's actually kind of classy looking.

Are you saying the squirrel's not classy? Your sparkly, fluffy-tailed squirrel. No, I'm talking about the white one in there. Oh, yeah, the white one. Yeah, I thought you were talking about your glittery squirrel.

Oh, the glittery squirrel's just fucking awesome. Yeah, no. I mean, I'm not judging. I'm just saying. I told you to buy it.

I was already halfway there. You were halfway there, and I shoved you out of there. I was like, you have to have this. It's the tackiest thing I've ever seen. I like that it has a furry tail.

It's really what sells it for me. Because I have a glittery owl that's just like that. Awesome. If it had feathery wings or like a beak, that'd be amazing. You get some fucking glue gun and you fucking glue that shit on there.

No, but my mom had all these globes for some reason. Your mom don't know where shit is. She doesn't. Some old map kind of thing. She thinks Texas is like two minutes away.

It's like right across the street from Kentucky. I mean, if she does, if she, she understands the United States pretty well, but she could, she'd probably think that like, Guatemala is in, like, Mexico. Part of Canada. Part of Canada. It's not?

Wait a minute. Yeah. I don't know. Where's Peru? Oh, it's in Mexico.

Oh, I read a book, too. Should I talk about that or not? You can't read. I did, but they're making a movie of it, so should I not talk about the movie or the book? What is it?

Warm Bodies. I haven't seen it, so go to town. It's a trailer, and... It's the trailer makes it look at least somewhat quirky and fun, but that's the whole I'm like this isn't logical This makes no there's no logic. It's about zombies zombie apocalypse has done happened or whatever and they're still survivors But then like this zombie apparently when they eat people's brains they can kind of like absorb their memories for a brief time So whatever so let's get the main zombie guy eats another dude who's in love with this girl and So the zombie kind of falls in love with this girl.

So he doesn't eat her. He, like, saves her and takes her to his plane where he lives. Because he lives in the airport. The plane. Duh.

And apparently. She falls in love with him, too. And he starts to become human again. I'm like, what the fuck? He's a zombie.

He's already done started to rot a little bit. He's got big old bite marks out of him. How the fuck is he going to turn human again? But it's true love. Made him human.

Brought him back from the dead. You know what movie I love about bringing zombies back from the dead? Because I love My Boyfriend's Back. I fucking love that movie. A classy, classy movie.

That was a great ass movie. It's funny how ahead of its time that movie was. Zombie Honeymoon. I fucking love that movie. Me too.

Two favorite zombie movies of all time. Boom. It's like an egg. But it's just, I don't understand the whole concept of dirt. He's slowly turning human again.

He's dead. His parts have started to die. He's dead. Love, true love, can bring you back when you're just a little bit dead. Yeah, if he wasn't all the way dead.

If he was all the way dead, it's a no-go. But zombies that are, like, already, like, half decomposed, they're slowly starting to, like, heal. Yeah, I mean, you can't even, even in the real, real world, real world, If you've got gangrene, your shit's not going to start turning back because you fell in love with some chick. It's still going to fucking fall off. You know, if a zombie apocalypse does happen and a zombie comes up to me, I'm just going to be like, ugh, over it.

They're going to be like, I love you. You're so played out, dude. I love zombie movies, though. I'm not complaining about that. Just the whole premise of him returning back to human just doesn't make any sense.

How is he going to be alive again? I want to watch My Boyfriend. Johnny, your ear! I love that movie. I do, too.

We're not watching that tonight, though. But we should probably get to that soon. We should finish up what Brian's doing. I think we should. Yeah, we could just get into that one.

I love the part where his parents bring home a child from the grocery store. His parents are pretty awesome. God. Okay, kids, get out your decoder pins. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.

You can tell that tonight's message was really important. All right, it's time for the movie meltdown secret circle review of the next exciting feature. Dun-dun-dun-dun. And one of us here is probably in trouble once they find out. So next week we'll be back with the full-on discussion of the quote-unquote classic Sleepaway Camp.

Oh, yes. You're quite familiar with this movie, aren't you, Marlena? No. Hasn't seen it yet. She's like the one person in the world.

Misty already broke me in on this movie. I don't really watch a lot of movies. I don't know why I'm on this podcast. I don't know that you should admit that on the show, but it doesn't surprise me that you did, actually. We know you.

It's just because we're friends and, you know. You got dragged into it. You have a very different. And alternative perspective than most other people on shows. He just mixed it up.

He did, totally. Well, that's true of all of you, truthfully. Y'all are a bunch of weirdos, but you're different weirdos than other shows. We're not special. This whole show is full of special people.

Come on now. My Velcro shoes are over there. We are a big old dysfunctional family, as I previously stated. I miss my Velcro tennis shoes that I always used to wear in high school. They had skulls on them.

They were really cool. Awesome. Special. Very, very special. All right, so prepare yourselves.

Go watch it now because we're going to spoil the hell out of it after we've ruined Marlena's life. Yay. All right. Are puppies going to die or something? Yeah.

You'll hope we could have scenes of that after this. Otherwise, that about does it. We'll return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening.

Got new shoes today, my friends. I hope you like them. They have velcro sleeves. Decide to rip them off and take a bath. Okay.

Now in. My tub I have more friends. The yellow doggie and floating house. That's alright, cause I don't need them anymore Perhaps this time. We'll build a treehouse That we can climb and waste the boring days away Maybe this time we'll build a go-kart.

A glass of. Milk for a little pain Such a good boy, let him have some more. The blackbirds in the trees Faithless man lies behind closed doors Smitting lovely memories A happy face is all I ever needed Perhaps. This time we'll build a treehouse Maybe this time we'll build a gold car and drive around the world. I hope you like them.

They have no crow straps. They do. Is that little paper thing going to tell me who I'm marrying or if I live in a trailer or a mansion? If I write it down there, maybe. Is that a pen?

No fortune for you. Oh. Urn ab ost. That's who you're going to marry. What?

Urn ab ost. Oh, cool. You have no future. Sorry. Oh.

This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!