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281: Welcome to the Cryptid Carnival

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281: Welcome to the Cryptid Carnival
Movie Meltdown
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50:38
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About this episode

Movie Meltdown - Episode 281 This week, we are coming to you "live" from our own weird festival the Cryptid Carnival! Featuring a cryptid-themed, art show, live music, a dancing yeti, a homeless frogman, little furry creatures, artists, movie talk, belly dancers and so much more!!  And as playful banter leads to amazing stories, we also discuss... devil tomato creatures, ballerinas or witches, a world class Grandma, Slint member run-ins, crack in a tub, Ethan Embry, cryptid architecture?, Razonblade Suitcase, Laura Vandervoort, Fantastic Mr. Fox, green apple ice cream, Incedent On and Off a Mountain Road, old fashioned lemonaid, a potential Adult Swim show, Action Grandma!, Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, not getting your nap in, The Raid 2, Lost Girl, eating your wolf skin, Bill Murray doing his thing, being in cahoots together, Don Coscarelli, Werther's Originals, the yeti watching the band, Angus Scrimm, I spilled it all over myself, a Loch Ness monster tattoo, Spiderland, Newbie, the eccentric shut-in, bringing doom to small town bridges, P.J. Harvey, I like apes, strange symbolic attachments, interesting garbage, nonsense subtitles, Hemlock Grove, Yeti vs. Bigfoot, what is Princess Jasmine doing down here?, Woody Allen, dipthong, you can't answer a question about a questionable creature with a question, a devil puppet costume, Witches of East End, Bitten, yeti on the moon, Wes Anderson, How to Train your Dragon 2, extreme puppeteering camp, The Beasts of Bladenboro, Misfits, Livid, having bronchitis, Under the Skin, blue-haired moo moo, Steve Albini, you came on your pogo penis stick, waves a banana in my face, Umberto Eco, Repo Man, vampire ballerinas, Hex, build for inclement weather, 666 Park Avenue, Michael Fassbender, bullshit coma, free ice cream, Moth Man, Steven King and please don't get any lipstick on the mic sir. "Wow... I need to check out this town that's filled with such crazy and interesting people." Special thanks to Nancy's Bagel Grounds: http://www.nancysbagels.com/   Sweatermeat: https://soundcloud.com/sweatermeatmusic  and Ruric-Amari Dance: http://www.ruric-amari.com/ 

Transcript

Automatically generated, so expect the odd misheard name.

Shit the bed! Why, howdy, folks! Come on in! Well, from the looks of them fancy britches and sassy little hairdos, y'all ain't from around here. Are ya?

This is Sid Hagan. You're fucking around with Movie Meltdown. Why don't you just take your mama home some chicken and then I won't have to stuff my boot all up in your ass. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised.

It's showtime, folks. Enjoy the show. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown, I am Brian. Oh, bad timing.

Bad timing. And I spilled all over myself, too. I'm not even going to say what that was that I spilled over myself. I just say that I spilled it all over myself. Very smooth of you.

Thank you. And my coordinated co-host here would be... Sterling Pratt. So we are coming to you live in a digital recording from right here in the middle of the cryptid carnival. It's happening all around us, at us, in us, with us.

All over us, I think is how you... Well, literally for you. The simple version is we cannot avoid it. Cryptids are everywhere and they're spewing fluids of unknown substances. All over you.

All over you. I've stayed clear. Which we are bringing to you live... via digital recording. Yeah, the experience is very rough, ready, and raw here at the Cryptid Festival. Let's roam around and bother people.

Let's do so. I think it might be a good idea, since this is a... I mean, cryptids are by nature about mystery. If we ask some of these mysterious guests why they might have arrived. For instance, you, sir, standing right to my right.

Why did you happen to come in here when you saw the word cryptid? Do you know what it means? I came here for the old-fashioned lemonade. You came here for the lemonade. All right.

One of the benefits to hosting one of these things in a restaurant is, of course, people come in for food. You two ladies right there. They ran away. Oh, God. I'm a terrible host.

You there, sir. You got caught. Okay, so what are you doing here? You don't know? Do you have any idea where you are?

What your name is? Do you need help, sir? Someone get this man a police officer. The more creepy thing is just moments ago, you walked up to this stranger and asked him to lift his shirt up for you. True enough, but I heard that he had a tattoo of the Loch Ness Monster, and you know what?

Sighting achieved. Mission accomplished. Yes, so let's actually look around here. We have some masks here, but over here, much more interestingly. So by the way, as we're looking around, we're seeing all this cool stuff, cryptid-related art. architecture, all sorts of interesting things.

And right here we have some nice little felt pieces that are constructed of various cryptid critters. And creating these felt pieces is. Pat. Pat. You heard it.

That's it. Pat. Why do you make these little critters? What is it that draws you to such beings as the Chupacabra and the Mothman and the Bigfoot? Oh, because they're wonderful creatures.

I just adore them all and they're so much fun to make. And they come to life as I make them. Do you remember the first time that you saw one in the wild? Oh, yes. Oh, my goodness.

Chupa. Chupa and his little friend, Newbie. Newbie? Newbie. Newbie the goat.

Newbie right here. So the Chupacabra has a pet goat. Is that lunch for later? No, no, no. He will not eat Newbie.

That's his friend. Oh, I see. I think we have a TV show in the making here. A children's show, in fact. I'd watch this.

He might eat his cousin, but not his little friend, Newbie. This is more of a twisted Adult Swim kind of a show, actually. You know, I'd watch it. Yeah, I was about to say, I'd watch it. Like, either way.

Adult Swim, just get a hold of us. And we managed to entrap yet another person sitting here next to Pat observing the felt critters. You are? Christian. Christian.

How are you doing, Christian? Great. She's a many-time co-host. Oh, as I recall, we've done at least one show together, haven't we? Indeed we have.

So, are you enjoying yourself here at the cryptid zoological fest? Absolutely. Absolutely. Awesome. Tell us what you love about cryptids the most.

What's not to love about cryptids? You see, you can't answer a question about a questionable creature with a question. I thought we were playing the question game. Yeah, I think that's the most mysterious way to answer it, actually. Fair enough.

Moving right along. Moving along. We have here a world-class grandma from the band that just played. Sir, who are you, and what is that strange sound that we heard coming from outside just now? I am John, and that was Sweater Meat.

Please don't get any lipstick on the mic, sir. Well, I'll do my best. Thank you. Nobody told me that. What is this that you were carrying in your fanny pack?

Werther's Originals. Werther's Originals. They're fuel for old people? Yes, they are. And they're fun to give out?

They're fun to share. Absolutely. They're actually ultra expensive, too. They're like $ 4 for a bag of Werther's. Dude, I call bullshit.

Yeah, it's horrible. Yeah. It's good to know that all that horrible candy I was given as a child, though, was in fact expensive that I then threw away. Yeah, yeah. So tell us about Sweater Meat.

Are you guys enjoying your raucous tour of Louisville where you live? Yeah, it's fun. We get out and play. Yeah, it's fun. Check us out on the internets, I guess.

So you were the world-class grandma. How would you describe the other members of that band? I would say I'm like the grandma on the go who's up walking the malls. At noon-ish, you know. The active grandma.

Yeah, the active grandma. Action grandma. Grandma on the go. What were those other two characters? We had the blue-haired muff, which is, or I'm sorry, the blue-haired Moo Moo.

She had a tuft of blue hair and a Moo Moo on, and she's kind of in a wheelchair, and she's. Got impeccable rhythm. And then there was the. Demon nun? It's more like the eccentric shut-in.

That is how I would describe Yoko. Lots of cats hanging out with moms. Well, Yoko is quite the front woman for an eccentric shut-in. She brings quite the show. I was curious.

I did not see a single Bea Arthur in residence. Well, there's only three of us, so rest in peace, I guess. Well, tragedy strikes. Don't forget your cupcake. It's on the bumper.

Oh, okay. That was the elusive Yoko. I'm sorry. Yoko, while we have you here, you're practically encrypted yourself. What is it exactly that brought you here to the cryptid zoological fest?

Can we cuss? Yes, you can. Oh, go to town. My dick. Your dick brought you to the cryptid...

Is it a cryptid homing device? It's got a magnet in it. I thought maybe it was more of a pogo stick and you literally came... Yeah, I came. Ha ha.

I'm setting you up on these. You came on your pogo penis stick. I did. How are you guys doing? We're doing great.

We're just trying to get to the bottom of this whole cryptid phenomena that we've heard so much about. Who's your favorite cryptid? Mine? Uh. Probably Mothman because he looks not only incredibly cool, but he also brings doom to small town bridges.

So that's pretty cool. And you love Richard Gere. Oh, obviously I love Richard Gere. My favorite is the sauropod that lives in the Congo that Baby the Lost Legend was based off of. Oh, what's it called?

The Mwimbi. Oh, yes. I've heard about this. Yeah, he's cute. Do you want to go hunting sometime?

We can catch it. Leave him be free. Leave him be free? Because remember how tragic it was in the movie? They shot his mom.

Oh, yeah, you're right. I cried. So you want to go hunting? No. Sorry, I'm a little one track here.

I like your shirt. Thank you. I love my shirt. This, by the way, I'm wearing a slint shirt because I got to see them play under a bridge during forecastle. Holy shit.

Well, I got to see the bassist drive away from guitar center. Well, screw you. Okay. Like I've, I've run into like Brian McMahon at least once buying a coffee from the coffee shop that I used to work at. So I used to rent videos at a certain place.

Yeah. Well, I work with Todd. Does that count? Good try guys. Yeah.

But, um, no, it was actually, it was a fun experience and there was only one drunk couple talking behind me the entire time. So, Did they play Spider-Man? They did. They did, in fact, play. And I got to say, just on a minor personal note, I first heard Slint about when I was like 17 or something like that.

So it's been a 10-year journey for me to get to see them live. Yeah, because you weren't in Louisville back then. No, I wasn't in Louisville. I moved to Louisville partly because I had heard their music and the music of other Louisville bands such as yourself. And I thought to myself, wow, I need to check out this town that's filled with so many crazy and interesting people.

But obviously we are. I bought my Spider-Man vinyl in Olympia, Washington. Isn't that weird? That is very weird. Home of Unwound, no less.

Yeah, but no. And so Slend was my cryptid of the weekend. And now here we are at Cryptid Fest. And I'm interviewing yet another cryptid. Good night, my love.

How's it go? Remember me as you fall to sleep. Sleep. Fill your pockets with the dust of the memories. On the back of the record it said looking for female vocalists.

Yeah, that was PJ Harvey, you know. It was 1986. Do you think you still have a chance? No, only once. Just go up to them and just be like, I'm here to report for duty.

They'll be like, what are you talking about? It says right, and just pull it out immediately. Was PJ Harvey really the one they were looking for? No, no, no. PJ Harvey apparently wrote them a letter, but they had already disbanded and moved out of the house.

Oh, wow. Yeah, so think if maybe she had signed up and then maybe gotten into the band. 50 for Queenie! 50 for Queenie! You need to stop, okay?

Sorry, sorry. That's PJ Harvey. She's having a breakdown of some sort. I prefer, yeah, guys, you'll know about all that later. Eventually.

She's frightening the children. Yeah, no, I was actually listening to her record with the song The Dancer on it not too long ago. I love me some PJ Harvey. My favorite album is Red of Me. Rid of me is a great album that was produced by steve albini it was produced by steve albini.

Yes um and he which he later regretted ever so slightly really um yeah he claimed that it was one of his early producing efforts and he added a little bit too much to it i completely disagree i think that record is perfect. Yeah it's pretty i don't know if he can talk he he did produce bush so i mean did he really oh yeah that's razor blade suitcase he. Did so much so it doesn't matter Well, that's the thing. They have their moments, but that album is kind of not it. I won't blame him, but, you know.

But, you know, it's kind of like those guys who put, like, actually Woody Allen falls in this category. Puts out, like, a movie every year. I got accused of being Woody Allen today because I was nervous about not getting a rap. It wasn't because of the young girl that was with you at the time? No, he said, I love Woody Allen.

Woody Allen is seriously my dream man. Like, a small, neurotic Jewish man. Yeah, so you go hunting. Guys, if you're listening out there. Yeah, Yoko.

I go, John. The lovely Yoko. I'm not going to get a nap in before the show tonight. He goes, that's the oldest thing you said. You sound like Woody Allen.

I'm going to have a bad day. I'm not going to get a nap. In before the show. I don't. I just.

I just. Sunyi, where are you? And then you rummage through your purse and got a Werther's Original. Yeah. Roger Ebert one time said that it's comforting to know that a world of enormous action hero stars like blowing up buildings and emerging as unscathed that somewhere out there woody allen is is getting attacked by his hairdresser um and and and not not entirely surviving.

Uh his hairdresser is doing a terrible job it's just an observation. But no i mean but what i was saying is that you know that guy puts out like a movie every year so if like half of them are terrible that's still like 15 out of 30 films in 30 years that's not bad steve albini kind of is the same way you know if he And. Stephen King, who I love. Stephen King? I got a crush on.

Him, too. Wow. The thing about skinny white dudes with glasses. He's not really skinny, but he does look like a cryptid. Not anymore.

He does look apish. Now he does. It's true. He's always looked apish. He's got that lily.

What is this part of your face? She's pointing at her upper lip. The diphthong. It's not a diphthong, you dumb. The ape part of the face.

I think it is called the diphthong. The ape part of your face. Yeah, and his is really long. Did you see Rise of the Planet of the Apes or Dawn of the Planet of the Apes or Rise of the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes? I've only seen the original one once.

I gotta say, the new ones are actually pretty good. I like apes. Yeah, well, you should see this. As much as I dislike CG... And there she goes.

You've chased her away. By the way, I just want to mention that after she said, I like apes, she walks away and waves a banana in my face, which I had yet to see. Are we using code at this point? I guess so. Okay, that's cool.

Let's move on and talk to some other patrons, because that was a pretty rich conversation right there. That's Yoko for you. She'll do that. Yeah, filled with stuff. That was Yoko Molotov, I believe is her last name.

Okay, here are the people that wouldn't talk to us before, so we're going to skip by them. Oh, look, you. Let's ambush you. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. This person has a lobster.

What are you wearing? Wait, wait, hang on, hang on. So we're talking to this really cool person on the street we just met with a cool costume. What are you wearing? A devil puppet costume.

A devil puppet costume. It is a tomato cage puppet. The skeletal structure is a tomato cage. Oh, that's amazing. You can see on the outside I have a bamboo.

Stick spray painted red. Dude, why does your podcast not have video? This is amazing. We're looking for funding right now. Okay, are you the mother of this monstrosity?

I am the mother of this monstrosity. He made it himself at Spot 5. Is this part of a school project? Are they learning about devil tomato creatures? No, he did an extreme puppeteering camp at Spot 5, and we just went to go pick it up because we couldn't get it in the car, so.

We're walking it back home. Future Squamous puppeteer right here. I think so. I think so. That's fabulous.

Well, continue on, little performer. Oh. We're getting out of photo. There we go. Okay.

All right. All right. No, no, no. You don't get away that easily. Okay.

So first get in between us right here so we can put our mics in your face like that. Now, please tell us what it is that we want to know, which is, what is your name? Jacqueline. Jacqueline. What are you doing here?

I work here. And you're one of the featured artists. Yes. A likely excuse. Yes.

Yep. Okay. What is it that draws you to cryptids and cryptozoological behavior? Because I like the strange symbolic attachment that people give to local stories and attachments and make it a culturally significant creature. So do you find the attachment to be symbolic or do you find them to be attached to symbols?

They're attached to symbols. Okay. What do you think cryptids may be a symbol of? Symbols. Cryptids are symbols of symbols?

Of the crashing symbols. Somebody has been reading way too much Umberto Eco. You've ever taken a semiotics class? I take a symbolic class. Oh, I see.

Almost as bad. This is a vicious cycle going on here. All right, well, what exactly did you make for us today? I made a painting on the beasts of Bladenboro. The beasts of Bladenboro.

I don't think I've actually ever heard of those. Yes, well, there might have just been one creature. But it was decapitating dogs. These things are never terribly clear, are they? No.

I like you came up with your own alternate idea. You've got like your own separate concept of what went down and then like you. Created the artwork. Yeah, because some people said that it was this cat thing and there was this giant cat and that it was decapitating dogs and breaking their necks and all this stuff and it was terrorizing the children. But then some other people were like, no, it's a wolf.

And so I made it to where there's actually, there's both. There's like a cat and a wolf and they're in cahoots together. Because why have one when you can have both? See, that, ladies and gentlemen, is the principle that I like to call Sterling's Razor. All of the things being equal, choose the answer that's most interesting, which is why I believe virtually every story that I'm ever told.

I'm only doing this because I got paid to. Awesome. Well, let's move right along. Thanks for talking with us, Jacqueline. Let's see.

What's up? Oh, hi. You have a small child with you. I do. Are you aware that there are cryptids running about?

Cryptids? Yes, cryptids, such as the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, Loveland Frog, etc. Oh my, that's terrible. We should go home right away. Are you concerned for the future of your child?

Very much so, always. What about you, small child? Are you concerned? Well, you heard it, folks. Very concerned.

Thank you very much. Hey, Miss, do you have your earbuds strapped in? I do not. Well, that's probably because you didn't go to. Tweakedaudio.com and get your tweaked audio earbuds strapped in.

Because they're awesome. I don't like things in my ears. You're the worst pitch person ever. I am. I have mine.

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I guess if I were to shove any implement in my ear, it would be those. We don't recommend you shove anything else in your ear. That's kind of why we were hooked up with Tweaked Audio. It's the only thing we recommend you shove in your ear. For medical purposes, really.

If you damage your eardrum, you're doing it wrong. And we take no responsibility. Stop when you hit. pressure you should only use tweaked audio and when you do you go to their website you go to pay for it you put in your code meltdown you'll get a discount and. Free shipping it's better than five percent discount not that. Five percent discount that you were looking at in that catalog.

The discount you will be getting from tweaked audio will be a hell of a lot better than the five third off you get a third holy shit if i have math that would be awesome and free shipping fucking a you can't beat that and they're not with a stick I just went and got me some more, and it was like a day, and they were there. They were like lightning fast. Like the lightning on that girl's boobs over there. Lightning move fast. Lightning move fast.

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Then you'll get 33% off and free shipping. Tweaked Audio. Sounds better. Not in any. Legend, not in any book, no mythology class that I ever took.

From the minotaur's maze, I think I hear your siren song. I can't tell, cause it's been so long. Yeah. It blows in the dark. Oh my god.

I get eyeballs. I need that. You can kind of see him. You don't get too close to my bosoms and be uncomfortable. I know, right?

Hold on. On. I totally saw them. They glow in the dark. I don't know how to explain this in audio form.

I was putting my face real close to Misty's lady lumps. T-shirt. Lady lumps. T-shirt. All right, so we've found half of our crew.

We haven't had most of our people on the show in six or eight months. I know. But, hey, look who it is. Hey, I'm here. It's Marlena.

How about you? I am Misty, and I am awesome. Well, we're all familiar with that, yes. Bo is a pretty good mask. That is Bo, right?

Do you really have to ask? I mean, he has a mask on. I can't tell. Yeah, but look at the goofiness that is Bo. I mean.

I actually don't know if I have any movie-related things, or there's probably some hilarious stuff that's happened to me. It's been like six months. You have to have at least watched a movie or had a ridiculous story happen to you. I mean, I'll only remember them after someone else is talking about something important. That's every episode you're on.

Has anything important ever really happened on the show? No. The hell you say. We just had belly dancers and a guy with a giant frog head wandering around. Yeah.

Yeah. But that's just like Frankfurt Avenue on a Friday. That's like a regular thing. It's not even special. This is just my life every day.

So have you seen any movies lately? I have. But you're going to have to give me a second to remember what they are. I did re-watch the first season of Misfits again because I fucking love that show. It's amazing.

I watched Oh My God for the first time in my entire life. Me and boyfriend sat down and watched Repo Man. Repo Man. Which one is it? Man or man?

Repo Man. Repo Man. The one with Emilio Estevez? Yes. It's weird.

I had never seen it. I had never seen it before, and I was like, what's the big deal? And then I watched it, and I'm like, holy shit, this is the weirdest thing I've ever fucking watched and possibly the greatest thing at. The same time. It's pretty great.

I don't know if Boyfriend would want to talk about it. He was pretty excited. We could migrate that way and ask Boyfriend if he has any opinion on this. We ought to move as a group because we're all attached. What was your opinion of Repo Man?

Man, I can't ever remember. Repo Man. My opinion? It's fucking awesome. I don't know why it took me so long to see it.

I'd heard about it and all my friends, I remember, were telling me I needed to see it. It was one of those that just kind of slipped past my radar just because I never had the time or I'd forget. It was fantastic and I still have no fucking clue as to what happened. Are you a fan of the soundtrack? Yeah.

Wasn't it like the Circle Jerks and stuff like that? Like a bunch of old punk stuff? No, there was a bunch of punk on there. It was pretty good. Yeah, it was a good one.

As the end credits were rolling, I'm like, you have this soundtrack available on like every album, right? Because I mean, there's no way you don't have all of. I could put the soundtrack together from all the stuff I've got if I wanted. Why is Bo wearing a giant frog mask and pulling garbage out of the trash can on Frankfurt Avenue? Have you ever met Bo before?

I've never seen him pull garbage out of. Again, this all seems pretty normal to me. But is it at least interesting garbage? It was just a styrofoam box. I don't know.

Nothing fancy? I mean, just like a styrofoam takeout box. There could have been like delicious barbecue or something in there. I don't know. That would be totally worth it if you ask me.

I don't want to eat some rando's barbecue. I don't know. Sometimes you just. I guess it depends on where it's from. If it's from Feast, I'd probably consider it.

But if it's just from like Famous Dave's, Famous Dave's is the worst. I'd pass. What else did we watch? We watched The Raid 2. What was the tag?

Was it Raid 2? The Redemption was the first one. Was Redemption the second one? I think the first one was Redemption. In this country, because there was already a raid in the works or something, so they had to tag something else on it to be able to release it or something like that.

So I think that was the first one. I don't know if it's just Raid 2. I don't know. Yeah. That was a pretty good movie.

It was pretty awesome. I had no idea what was going on. I had to ask boyfriend, like, boyfriend, what's going on? I don't understand. They all look the same to me.

What's going on? I know that's horribly racist, and I don't even care. But there was that one guy who was really pretty. The main, I guess, you can't really call him the bad guy, because he was kind of like, he was kind of the bad guy, but not really. But he was really pretty.

He don't care. He killed his own dad, and he was trying to take over the gang. But he was pretty. He was, dude. I'm like, he had some facial features that resembled Brandon Lee.

So I'm like, aw, he's pretty. I could see them being related. I don't care if they're of the same nationality. Hopefully or not, the curse will also find him. It would, and that would be a shame because he was pretty and young, too.

So he was a lot younger than I anticipated. I was like, how is this guy like seven years younger than me? It's not right. Then I'm like, oh, he's Asian. And I'm not really sure how that really works.

Because usually if they're older than me, they look younger than me. But he was younger than me and looked older. So I'm not really sure. There's something backwards going on. Crazy Asians.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I watched a movie. What did I watch?

Oh, I watched Livid. It's French. Because apparently I watched a copy that was obtained from somebody else. And it didn't make a lot of sense. Because I don't know who did their subtitles on it.

But they weren't like... Maybe English wasn't their first language? I took a picture with my phone so we can get an example that I'm not retarded and the shit didn't make sense. Hold on. A good portion of the movie for me was spent trying to figure out what they had just said or what they meant.

Because I'm like, what's going on? I don't even know what you're going for with that. Hopefully you're ready to uphold to be run. So you took a picture of the words on the screen in this film. I did because it didn't make any sense.

I don't want everybody else to see that it didn't make any sense. So Misty is captured on her phone here. Once again, the subtitles say, hopefully you're ready to a poll to be run. And I spent the entire movie trying to figure out what the hell they were trying to say. Broken, repasted together English.

It's something special. But otherwise, it was an interesting movie. It's French. It's very French. It's French.

But it's also weird, but it's not a very long movie. But it involved, I think, vampire ballerinas? But I wouldn't swear to it that it might have been witches. But the little girl was eating people, so. I.

Like that you're not sure. Witches or ballerinas? There was definitely ballerinas. Okay, I should put pink on there. What is it?

It's not me. Is it Marlena's lipstick? I didn't touch my. We also had a grandma on here earlier. It was a guy, but he was dressed as a grandma with very pink lipstick.

Oh. I want to talk from this side of the microphone. But yes, it was a very French movie. It's about a girl who's apparently going... I don't know.

People are coming. So she goes. She wants to be a nurse. So she's going around the rounds with this older nurse. She's trying to teach her the ropes or whatever.

And they end up with this crazy lady. Well, she's apparently in a coma. bullshit coma. It ain't a real damn coma because she wakes up at night and tries to eat people. But her and her friends decide to rob the old lady because apparently she has treasures in her house. I actually remember I just remembered some things that I watched.

Does it have vampire ballerina witches? Sort of, yes. Awesome. You watched Suspiria? No, I didn't.

I was sick and I was stuck in bed for a whole week and I watched. What kind of sick? You need to back up a couple steps? I have bronchitis. Okay.

But, oh, he got it out of the garbage so he could sweep it. It's part of his act. What a fucking weirdo. That's not weird at all. Yeah, so I basically just watched all of the second season of American Horror Story.

Hemlock Grove. I haven't watched that yet. I watched the entire season that was on Netflix of Witches of Easton with Mad Shenomic, which I love. I fucking love. Have you watched it?

I have not. It's so good. Is it on the Netflix? It's on the Netflix. I don't know why I call it the Netflix.

And I watched this show called Lost Girl, which is also really good. Is it a sci-fi original? I think so. I don't know. But it's really good.

And also 666 Park Avenue, which was really good. Have you seen Hex? No. I love Hex. Is it on Netflix?

I don't know if it is. I got the DVDs through Netflix, but it has Michael Fassbender as a fallen angel, and he is so gorgeous, and it's a stupid show. I'm into that. I don't care. But yeah, all those shows were, maybe I was just delirious and bored, but all those shows are really good.

I kept texting people and being like, yo, my. God, you have to watch the show called Witches of Easton. It's so good. I mean, I keep meaning to watch it. Yeah.

I keep meaning to watch the second season of Hemlock Grove too, but it's like, I liked the, yeah, I liked the first season. I'd heard a lot of bad shit about it. I really liked the second season, literally until the last two minutes of the second season. And they were like, oh, are you fucking kidding? Does it have a lot of Eric's brother in it?

Awesome. Tons of Eric's brother. But the last two minutes are stupid. And I was angry. But other than that, I was really into it.

A lot of people bitched about the first season saying it was stupid and poorly written, but I. Thought it was fun. I really liked the first season. I thought it was fun. Some of it was kind of illogical.

People just trying to be overcritical. Whatever. It's a TV show. I still think that it has the most inefficient werewolf transformation I've ever seen. Inefficient?

Yeah, it's like you get a... It's just impractical. It is impractical, but it's also one of the most beautifully shot. It is very well shot. Very cool to watch.

The way he just like. And then he eats his skin and stuff. But what happens when he goes back? Well. When he's human, does he have to eat his wolf skin?

Because that would be gross. I don't know. But. That would be mega gross. Spoiler alert.

I'm just going to spoil something. There's a part where he's like a wolf and he's stuck. Roman reaches in. He like breaks the wolf's head apart and reaches in and pulls. like sticks his hand inside and then you see him pulling out his arm and like pulls him out by his arm. It's like he's inside the wolf somehow still.

It's like it was really fucked up. I'm so confused. Which doesn't make any sense but it was really cool to watch. I'm okay with that. That's the whole first season.

What are you talking about? Yeah. It's like I watched something else but I can't remember what it was. I watched Bitten. I did watch Bitten.

It's a Canadian show about werewolves. It's got Laura Vanderbilt. I watched. She was Supergirl. Don't act like you don't know who Laura Vanderbilt was.

I thought that was Helen Slater or one of those people. Smallville. Oh, that girl. I kind of blocked a lot of Smallville out, actually. Her face was very angular.

Lots of planes and angles. Yeah. I also watched Maleficent and. Under the Skin. Have you seen Under the Skin?

I have not seen Under the Skin. Which one is that? I really liked Under the Skin. Which one was that one? Oh, no, I've not seen that one.

Yeah. The one where she's naked. Or is that a different one? There's a good amount of nakeds. She's kind of naked sometimes.

It's, like, really hard to understand. Half the shit I watch. Yeah. You would probably not like it, but I really liked it. Yeah, I can imagine me not liking that.

I feel like there was something else I watched recently, but I cannot think of what it was, and I remember being mad at it, but then I might have liked it. I can't remember at this point. Oh, there's people. I don't know who they are. Hi.

We're recording right now. Hello. What's the recording for? This is Movie Meltdown. We are a podcast.

This is created because of our weird running series of cryptid-themed movie watching that's now spilled out into an art show, and it's out of control. Are you a cryptid fan? Do you like Bigfoot? Yeah, for sure. Who doesn't like Bigfoot?

Yeah, I mean, I totally, I'm a believer. Chupacabras, Mothman, any other random creature? Yeah, for sure. Actually, I feel like there's been, like, a lot of spottings. So, quote-unquote, spottings.

Recently, I've seen it on the news. Who do you think would win in a fight, the Yeti or Bigfoot? Ooh. I mean, like, hand-on-hand, like, no weapons or anything, like, serious. The Yeti.

Why? I think it's around cold weather. Whoa. This has crossed the line now. White versus brown.

I don't know if that's a good excuse. I think he was built for the inclement weather, so he could probably handle some real stuff. I think that comes into play then. What's the terrain? Are they in the snow?

Are they in the woods? That could factor in. Or are they on the moon? Ooh, still Yeti. Still Yeti.

Outer space? Yeti can totally handle the snow. You can climb them way better. But if you're out in the wilderness or something and you deal with a Sasquatch, you're dealing with some serious... That's his home court.

He's going to mess with you. He's going to pick up some sticks. He's going to knock you out of the park. Have you not seen those Jack Link's commercials? Or Six Million Dollar Man, one or the other.

I mean, however you want to handle it, you know. I mean, a Yeti's got you covered definitely if you're going to deal with the snow. But if you're dealing with the wilderness. So, we also talk movies. Have you seen any movies lately?

Actually, no. I did see How to Train Your Dragon 2. And your thoughts? Very sad but i mean silver linings it was very good it was good so but yeah that's the latest one i'm still waiting for the good ones to come out and. Your wes anderson.

Wes anderson movie was not a disappointment you know you see wes anderson flicks you kind of know what you're gonna expect there it's always fun to see bill murray do his thing and like Grand Budapest Hotel. It's not a disappointment. You want to see Wes Anderson? You're going to see Wes Anderson. He gets everything in the center of the frame.

You're interested in it the entire way through. Still love that Moonrise Kingdom. It was the last one I saw by him, so that was really, really something that got me really interested in seeing the Grand Budapest Hotel. But then on top of that, there was Fantastic Mr. Fox, which was a childhood... story for me literally the first story i ever learned how to read and i was happy to see that somebody decided to.

Actually turn that into like it was just last week and it. Was done well you know bogus bunsen bean i hated him the entire time just like you should. So i guess he was well suited for wes anderson oh. Yeah a fantastic mr fox you. Know well if you want to hear more of our rambling there's these flyers up here it's once a week we come out with new episodes and uh talking movies, and we have special guests on, and it's all kinds of crazy.

Playful banter is the best. That's all we have. I don't know if we make sense, but playful banter, that's what we have. From time to time, there is some genius that comes out in the middle of a playful banter, though. We've stumbled upon some very interesting moments, I have to say.

Usually those are the ones. We aren't... Stumble literally fell ass-deep in. Yeah, I mean, there's stories that get told that I don't... We never plan for it.

We back in from another story and then halfway in. I'm like, oh my God, what did you just reveal? There's just an entire new thing. It's a whole dynamic with having a microphone put in your face. No matter what you're going to do, you're going to pontificate a little bit more intensely the second somebody's got this right here.

Well, hello there. I think I need to say something important. Lose a little bit of their inhibitions the second that that happens. I had a good friend of mine who actually used to... photograph but he always got like right up in your face whenever you'd take the photograph and I always got really uncomfortable when I first met him I didn't really like it but all of a sudden I started like taking these fantastic pictures because like he was just like why does this make you uncomfortable what's the problem you know and then my face was like I don't have to explain myself you know all of a sudden I just didn't. Care anymore and then like it worked it perfectly worked.

You know there is some weird honesty that comes out when you're just sort of thrown into it. And when you ramble long enough, sooner or later you get to some sort of truth, I suppose. The second you try to be prolific or really genius, that's the second you're going to say the dumbest thing that you could have possibly thought of. I was doing that earlier, actually. For like 20 minutes.

20 minutes, no one stopped you. That's a sign of a good friend, because they're going to let you go as far as you can go. I walked into a Yeti versus the Sasquatch competition. I'm not quite sure exactly which one I'd like to fight, but let's be honest, that's a talking point. That's what I'm saying.

It's always good. You throw out these good conversation pieces, and something's got to come of them. I have no idea what's going on. That happens a lot in these situations. I do have no idea.

There's a lot of craziness going on here. Just like a grandma? I dig it. I can dig it. Yeah.

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Doo-Wop Shop. We're serious about music. Let's win the king! This is Jess Weixler. And you are listening to Movie Meltdown.

I should go higher with that. Hi, this is Jess Weixler and you are listening to Movie Meltdown. Too much? No, you can. Never do too much on this show.

I rewatched an incident on and off of Mountain Road, which I love. I rewatched an incident on and off a mountain road, which I love. Nobody has any idea what I'm talking. About, do they? I thought you were going to elaborate on it.

It's Masters of Horror. They have a whole little series, Masters of Horror. The very first episode was Incident on and off of Mountain Road, which was, I think, Don Coscarelli co-wrote the screenplay and directed. Our bestest friend, Don Coscarelli. Oh, I want to adopt him as my uncle.

Can I do that? You can try. I don't know legally how it will pan out. That would be the best uncle ever, because my uncle that I really have sucks. Both of them.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. But anyways, it stars, I don't know the chick's name, but it has Angus Scrim in. It, and Ethan Embry. Your adopted grandfather.

I know, right, and Ethan Embry, who would be my adopted step-half-brother, maybe. I suppose. I don't know. He got kind of weird looking later in life. Kind of rounder he's like raising a kid now what do you want what's up we are recording would you like to it's rod say hello.

Hey it's rod how's it going. Would you like to tell people your thoughts on this crazy yeti adventure you're on right now oh it's. Great i came out i i mean i've been following your progress on this project for a little while and posted about it a few times I'm the editor of LouisvilleHalloween.com, and it was kind of right up our alley, so I thought I'd come out and check it out. Are you going to show the film in a while? Yeah, once it gets dark enough, we're going to go out with this screen here and show the film, yeah.

You have the director, Ron, how do you pronounce his last name? We're going to ask him that when he gets here. It's Shultnick. But yeah, Ron is going to be here. I wonder if he'll have some DVDs.

I don't know. I threw it out there. I was like, whatever he wants to do. So I think he's just going to stop by. Yeah, I have people ask about, you know, not just the public monster, but his movie all the time.

Nobody knows where they can get it. I think Wild and Wooly has like one copy or something. Pretty much, yeah. So maybe he'll shed some light on that. I thought he had it. like on his website or something but yeah we'll get him to he does but nobody knows you know where it is or where they can get it you know yeah I wrote something about it a couple of years ago and we were.

Kind of talking back and forth about selling some DVDs and then it never just really happened so. Well maybe we can help put people together with the movie and they can experience the wonder that is the legend of the popular concert you got some pretty cool stuff in here some good stuff some really good artists can we help you Frogman. Let's go let's go let's go That's more from Bo. He thinks he's a frog. He's got a sign that says, Pondless, please help, I think.

He's now a homeless frog man. Pondless. It's sad, really. So have you seen anybody tonight? You know?

Still early. It's been quite a run. We've been... inundated with tons and tons. Of people well that's good so. We've rambled with a few of them and some of them have just passed by and have sort of waved.

So yeah yeah i saw the yeti watching the band next door you don't see that when you drive by every day well we had. The yeti watching uh belly dancers earlier so. That was nice too so yeah i saw them going down the street i was like what is princess jasmine doing down here she was she. Was working it i mean she they were very skilled And we, yeah, we will put the link up for them online. Nice.

Because they stopped by specifically for this event because we're awesome. So, you know. You know, I don't come out to this part of town like every week, but it's packed out here. It's a lot of people on this trolley hop thing. This is much or more as you see in the Highlands.

Yeah. I mean, maybe more. Yeah, the Highlands is kind of lost that. It used to have, it feels like it used to have more of that community. I mean, now it's just more of like the bar scene and like people are just out there drunk.

But like this has more of a like weird, I mean, look at the people milling around. Nobody's drunk. It's a really big mix. It's families and upscale people. It's an interesting mixture.

And hipsters. I mean, it's got everything. We certainly have that. Well, yeah. But we're, not tonight really.

We have a pretty good crowd and a lot of, Our usual kind of... That's the thing. I kind of felt at home. It was a good grouping of people that we probably would get along with even in any other circumstance. So it's nice that they came out for this.

A lot of cool stuff down here. I mean, I drove past the Comfy Cow. I'm not claiming that. Why? They've yet to do ads on this show.

Oh, really? See. Louisville Halloween, we have a deal with them this Halloween. We're going to be doing a crossover promotion. Please get a hold of us, Comfy Cow.

They're going to be handing out stuff, and we're going to be writing about them. I love the Comfy Cow. As long as I get free ice cream. Well, yeah. That's the deal.

We love free ice cream. Hold on. We got Misty's attention now with free ice cream. You mentioned free ice cream. You can't not bring me in with that one.

What the hell is going on? We're talking about the Comfy Cow. You like the Comfy Cow? I have never had the Comfy Cow. I've never been to a Comfy Cow in my entire life.

We have one in New Albany now, but we've been going to Zesto's a lot. My God, you're so deprived. I usually am, but on many, many levels. They have so much awesome ice cream. It's amazing.

What kind of ice cream? Are you talking about mixed ice cream? All kinds of. Kind of original flavors. Oh, like crazy flavors?

Oh, yeah. You know, like salted caramel, blah, blah, blah. That's a big thing for some reason. Salted caramel, blah, blah, blah. They have apple ice cream.

I'm pretty sure they have. Green or red? Well, it's more elaborate. It's going to be like Georgia's blah, blah, blah, apple ice cream. Salted caramel apple.

Yeah, exactly. Dude. I love me some green apple ice cream. I mean, you hardly ever find any place that carries it. They never have it at grocery stores.

Like, ever. We'll talk about that one time. I bought some at Target, and it was disgusting. It tasted like frozen applesauce. And that is not a good ice cream to have.

I would tell you listeners to send some in to Misty, but it'll be all melty, so don't bother. Pack that shit in plenty of dry ice, and it'll be fine. Pretty soon, you know, the fall's coming up, they'll have pumpkin pie or pumpkin, and that's my favorite. Tons of pumpkin ice cream. Lots of pumpkin.

Salted caramel pumpkin. I do get suckered into the pumpkin game when October comes around. Depends on which kind it is. If it's like Is it Dairy Queen that has like the chunks of crust in there that's disgusting? Yeah.

Because it has to be pumpkin pie. It just can't be pumpkin ice cream. It has to be chunks of pumpkin pie. I ain't okay with that. It's like little dirt balls in my ice cream and that's never a good thing.

That's not what you're looking for? Not this time. You know who's making a comeback? I grew up with Haywood's ice cream. My sister used to work there when I was a little kid, and we used to get all our milkshakes there.

And they're still around, and they're making a big comeback, particularly in the South End, I think. I've never heard of them. Right now I'm obsessed with Breyers because they have this creamsicle ice cream. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like.

Crack in a tub, and it's like delicious because you have the vanilla, and then you have the orange sherbet together, and it keeps looking behind me. It's making me very nervous. I was at Culver's the other day, and orange creamsicle was their flavor of the day. You know Culver's. What's up?

My wife, Candice. How are you? We're doing it now. You can be on the show. Please tell them your name, sir.

This is Chris Caligula. And your better half? Yeah, my better half, Candice. So, some people listening might know you. You've contributed to the website.

Yeah, I submitted a few movie shirts. Most other people have not. So the rest of you guys out there are slacking. So I'd like to thank you for actually taking part in one of our projects. All right.

Well, good. Good to be here. So what are your thoughts on the cryptid action here? Yeah, we just got here. Coming to say hello.

Sorry I couldn't submit any art. Couldn't get my shit together. We had some good stuff, though. I've been pretty happy with the stuff we got in. It's really good artwork.

Out of control. It's going to get busier later, I'm sure. I'll probably hang out to see what the movie's going to play. Probably. I've never met the director either.

Yeah, I'll hang out for a while. I'm going to hand the mic back over to Misty, though, although she's in the middle of the conversation at the moment. I can take it. Oh, all right, all right. All right, so there is so much going on here.

I think we are going to wrap up this episode. and come back next time with more crazy coverage from the cryptid carnival, including our movie tie-in as we show the legend of the popelik monster, and as mentioned, we will be talking with the director of the short, Ron Shutnick. So come back next time for that. Until then, I thought we would round out this episode with a song from the first of our two bands playing here tonight. You heard us. Talking earlier with our own Yoko and her bandmate.

Well, the song we're going to play is from that very band, known as Sweatermeat. And the song I've chosen, because I think the title fits nicely with our cryptid theme, is Hairy Arms. You can like them on Facebook. You can hear more of them on SoundCloud and Reverb Nation. So everybody go out there looking for some sweater meat.

I think that's good advice for everybody. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening.

Cause I love that those girls with the heavy arms, I love that those girls with the heavy arms, I know they got a heavy. Dowsing too, I know they got a heavy dowsing too, okay. It's okay girl, I know you're a werewolf. We'll be right back. It's okay, I know you're a werewolf.

It's okay, I know you. You don't, you don't scare me No, you don't, no way. Test, test, test talking I can hear me I can't hear anything because of course I'm not hooked up Oh my god, your ears are broken My ears are broken Oh no Oh wait, I've got the headphones, never mind You bastard, you've deceived me once again. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown Produced and edited by The Oddity Studios. With opening music performed by The Empires.

For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!

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