90.1: Finger Me...says Justin Bieber

We'll get to it later. Yeah. Stop talking. Too much thinking. I try not to do that.

That's what that smell is. Nice. The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power.

Provide more cooling in the containment chamber. This is just a dream you're not alive this whole thing is just a. Dream What's up? I'm welcome to... What's our show?

Are we going to have a blooper reel? We do every week. It's called our show. It'll be funny later when that asshole story is in there. What's up?

I'm welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian. This is Roger. I'm Tony. I'm Greg.

I'm Marlena. All right. Um some of our other slacker staff has wandered off and they're too busy sucking somewhere deciding to sit out this week because they have fabulous lives that you know they don't have time for movies and whatnot so whatever yeah so i guess we can uh skip them and roll on into this week's geek activities so mine uh i actually joined everybody else about a year ago and uh i watched shutter island Which I don't have the problem with it that everybody else here seemed to have. I'm interested in seeing it. I actually kind of liked it.

I liked the story. And I don't have the huge issues with Leo that certain people do. I've always liked Leo. I've always liked him. I've always liked him.

Like ever since Basketball Diaries, I'm like, I kind of like this cat. Even though it's a terrible movie, very depressing, I want to kill myself. But since I lived, I've learned to like him. There you go. Yeah.

No, that's the thing. It's like he's not amazing. Especially in this one, you kind of get what you expect out of it. He's doing that period piece thing, and he's kind of fallen into that now. He does so many of them now that he sort of just does what he normally does in that kind of role.

So I'm not amazed by anything he did, but I didn't have a problem with him. The biggest problem I've had with him in the last six or eight years, I've noticed, is... To me, he's not really aging like a. Normal human being. No, he looks the same.

It's like if you get up close, you can start to see he's starting to get old now, but he still plays like he's about 25 tops. And yet he's starting to like, now he's like this cop who's been on the force for a while. And I'm like, he should be playing like that. 30s 35 you know but he still looks yeah kind of like a kid sometimes i'm just like it's almost not really to his advantage for these new roles that he's getting now it worked fine for the first you know 10 12 years of his career but he's starting to they're giving him these roles for a an adult and he has to play a grown-up now so it's like he still kind of reads like a kid sometimes and i think i don't know i don't know what you can do about that leo i hate to tell you but uh kind.

Of ingrained in him at this point. I'm sure he's worried. Yeah, I'm sure. He's looking to you for answers. Those multi-million dollar paychecks he's cashing, he cries into them every now and then.

Oh my god, do I deserve this? Obviously, Martin Scorsese doesn't like him. Yeah, that's why he keeps giving him money. Well, and that's one of the main reasons why I want to see Shutter Island is because of the Scorsese. I love Scorsese movies just because of the way they look.

I think I'll like it even if the story is complete utter crap. Just the way his movies look, I'm like, ugh. It's pretty. These look so nice. It does look good.

I've heard the book was amazing. You're not allowed to say that on this show. We don't encourage reading on this show. I can't help that I have a problem with Liam. Whatever.

I can't help it. He's like. I'm always aware that he's acting. I just don't buy it. I don't know.

It's just me, I know, because other people are like, oh, he's an amazing actor. Name it's Oscars and shit all the time, but I'm just like. I just... I can't watch him. You don't believe the sham?

He doesn't deserve that. Like I said, I'm not sold on him as the greatest actor ever. He's sort of passable, but it's funny how huge he is now. He really, in the last ten years, has fully owned up to that. He is beyond A-list celebrity now.

He's your go-to leading man now. He's kind of kicked out Tom Cruise and all the other guys, and that's who it is now. It goes straight to Leo. Yeah. He was really good in What's Eating Gilbert Crepe.

Oh, my God. He was really good in that. He's amazing. Well, he actually did go full and got away with it. Yeah.

He was awesome. He never got full. But he wasn't the lead actor. No, he wasn't. He was just a small thing.

People may remember more about him in that film than he was. He was still fantastic, but he didn't have to carry a film. And that's probably good, because I think that would have thrown it off a little bit, actually. I'll put in Juliette. Lewis and Johnny Depp.

Juliette Lewis is kind of special, too. She's a freakazoid. And her music sucks balls. Whatever, she's a rock star. I want to put her face in a fryer.

Nice. Like a fried basket? Yeah, like. Oh, God. That better be delicious.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for her. I don't know what it is about her. I kind of like her still. It's like California in a strangle. Yeah, I love.

Her in California. I think it's those special roles. I think that's what it is. I think that she comes off so... Goofy and vulnerable.

There's a little of it you have to buy into. Sometimes she takes it too far, the other sister. A little too special there. That was horrible. The other sister with.

Giovanni and Lisi. When they were both... Special. Oh, yeah. That's our PC term of the day.

We love specials. I'm going to have to watch the same example. It'd be awesome if there was a special sex scene. No. That would've been awesome.

Because they found each other. And they found each other. And it was like, love. And I was just waiting for that. It happens.

It's like a mess. It's like two badgers just fighting each. Other or something. You walk in on the middle of it. They're just hitting each other with Nerf bats.

This isn't how it's... Alright, you know what? No, go ahead. You guys have fun. They're having a blast.

It's still totally innocent. Oh, man. So, yeah, that was the beginning of the week, and then I kind of watched I Sell the Dead. I'd heard so many other people's take on it, I kind of knew what was going on. So it's pretty much what I expected, too.

I Sell the Dead? Yeah. I was like, yeah, James Joyce film, The Dead, what? That's a Houston film, man. Yeah.

We should watch that next week. Is it an older movie? Is it like an older movie? We talked about it like seven times on this show. I'm trying to remember those times.

I can't remember what it is. Is it Night of the Hunter or something? That actually is a good movie. That is a good movie. First knuckle tattoos.

Really? No, semen have had, like, hold fast forever. Yes, I did say that. I didn't even say anything. You're like, where did we just go?

Yes, that's been around forever. I hate to say it. Pretty much since we... For all that and the primordial ooze. Wow.

Why are you talking about ooze? I was like primordial ooze. No, but... It's a theme. Sorry to just pull the whole show.

Off track here, but... Anyway, so yeah. Welcome to Sunday Funday. But yeah, that movie was kind of what I expected because I've heard a million other people talk about it. And then I wrapped up the week with a second viewing of Kick-Ass, which does continue to kick ass.

God, it's awesome. I've never seen it. We watched it like three times in a row. Yeah, we watched. It twice in a row on one day the first time we watched it.

And then the next day we're like, what do we want to watch? There's no question about it. I just want to see McLovin with that wig on again. Oh my god, his fucking Mustang is so bad. I went the other way.

I did not have a finger in. I'd just like to see Hit Girl just wipe people out left and right. Oh my god, she climbs up that guy and stabs him. So, yeah, that was pretty much it for me. So, if we want to Move on.

Well, we got a stack of, yeah, since we've really done anything worthy. I played Super Mario Brothers Partners in Time. For about 80 hours while I was sick. I like how all of your activities run in like 70, 80 hour. Blocks in a row.

Yeah, but I can't sleep. It's just like, well, let's... which I think is awesome forget that the world exists. And you're like baby you feel bad because I'm ignoring you and I'm like no that's fine go ahead and like you know god and you're like who are you get. Out of my house don't look at me when they watch but we have a good friend that we work with named Damo and he's got very eclectic movie taste like good movie taste like I was like maybe you would want to like listen to the show. Or something plug and and he let us borrow a stack of movies one of which is The Hunger that we watched last night which I haven't seen in forever.

And I don't know who Tony Scott is. I can't remember what Tony Scott has directed. He's the other Scott brother. He's more of the action stuff most of the time. Because I'm trying to like forcibly think of what else he's done.

Oh, he's like Top Gun, I think. Oh, really? He's like Top Gun and they did True Romance. Oh, wow. Yes.

I mean, he's, he does a little more of the mainstream stuff than Ridley, but Ridley's gotten a little more mainstream as the years go on too. Well, and The Hunger is really cool because it's, you know, the, It's got that late 70s, early 80s vibe to it. It's a different spin on the whole vampire. Thing, which we're trying to figure out while we're watching it what the rules are. Yeah, it was weird.

It was very speculative. It's pretty much open to whatever you wanted to think. Because this woman is like the main succubus, and then whoever she turns, they live for a long time, and then they just one day rapidly age and die. Well, no, they don't die. They just rapidly age, and then she puts you in a fucking box in the attic with the other ones that are still alive.

You still feel and think and can move, apparently, because they put fuck in her up at the end of it. Spoiler alert. Yeah, spoiler alert. Sorry. But it was really cool because of how, you know, the look of it, you know, that early 80s stuff, and.

It's David Bowie. And Bowie's awesome. And just the different take on the vampire thing is so cool because, you know, it's so mainstream nowadays, you know, whether you have sparkly skin or, you know, you can't be in the sunlight or whatever. Whether you're John C. Reilly, apparently.

Yeah. But it was really cool. John C. Reilly's a member of it? It's...

Just prove that. We don't want to deal with John C. Reilly for eternity. Right. That hair.

How do you deal with that hair for eternity? But it was awesome. And the night before that, we watched Nadja, which is. I don't know when it was done. It seems like 80s also.

Probably, yeah, late 80s maybe. It's very arthouse-y. Super arthouse-y. Presented by David Lynch. Directed by I'm not sure who.

It had Peter Fonda in it as Van Helsing. Which is bizarre because he had the long hair and he acted really bizarre. Like his face was so weird looking, like stretched out. It looked like plastic or something. Like he was wearing a man's clothes.

I was like, what's wrong with you, Peter Fonda? A lot of things. Yeah, there were parts of the movie that we liked, and then it was like, apparently, the dawn of digital. Like, the first type of movie that they shot digitally. And it was really pixelated digital.

Like, I hated it. Because it would switch indiscriminately. There was no, like, okay, during the flashbacks it would switch. It would just switch into this pixel vision thing. that everything's blurred and you can't see what the heck is going on. And Saul's, like, really pissed.

And then he'd go back to, oh, cool, black and white, everything looks nice, like... But it's about Dracula's lesbian daughter. And brother. He was dying. And I can't really tell you much about the movie because.

It was really bizarre. And there was no flow to it. His lesbian daughter fell in love with this little blonde girl. And. Oh, God, and I think we think...

Oh, my God, that was so disgusting. We think. Okay, should I tell the vampire lesbian joke first? Yeah. Maybe I should.

Okay. Maybe you should. Okay, yeah. But she takes this... Nadia takes this.

Girl home or whatever, and is, like, doing the whole seducing vampirism thing. And she's really pretty. And she starts to unbutton, like, her pants or whatever... And you see the other girl like, I can't believe I'm letting you do this. And then Nadia comes up.

But it's black and white. Yeah. With, like, it looks like jam on her fingers. And then there is something. She says something about her period a little bit after that.

You might want to see a doctor about that. And we didn't know if she went down dipping and then came up and was, like, rubbing it on this girl's lips. Like, oh, you're horrible. That sounds horrible. We're not sure what happened there.

I feel uncomfortable. We were like, did that just happen? You know, for its. Shitty qualities, it was really, I enjoyed it. It was really poetic.

Yeah, very much so. If you just ignore all the weird and... Which is basically everything. It's good if you ignore it. Watch the last five minutes of the movie and you'll be pretty happy with it.

You've kind of got to fight to find something in it, but I think we fought and we found some goodness. You know, I laughed a few times. The end. So, yeah, that's kind of like. We've got other movies that we have yet to watch because we have a small stack of them.

And we'll tell you about those next time. Kiss, kiss, bang, bang. I did have a John Cusack. Marathon on Friday morning. Yeah, gross point blank.

High fidelity. I really wanted to watch Con Air, but couldn't find it. Lucky. Yeah, I wanted to see Nicolas Cage. Say put the bunny in the box.

The classics. The classics, yes. Yes, the greatest hits. And that was basically our disconjointed weird movie-a-thon. Yeah, I don't think there's anything else.

I think that was it. Yeah. I have some really weird dreams about some Care Bears and some 80s shit, but it's okay. We don't have to talk about that. That's not Geek Week, that's Crazy Time.

Sorry, that's for my other session this week. Did they record those sessions too? Yes. We can make that its own show. Tony's crazy ramblings.

We might have just recorded that anyway. Yeah, actually. I think every week that is. Definitely. So that was ours.

Alrighty then. Please move on. Oh, is it me? Mm-hmm. Okay.

I really didn't have much of a geek week this week, I don't think. movie-related, I did take the kids to see Shrek. Their mom was going out. I guess it was Saturday in the evening. And you poor bastard. I know.

I've seen the first one and maybe the one that was prior to this, whatever. I think there's like four. And I took them to the second-run theater here in town and which they love going to that place just because it's just, you know, you can tell it's old and, you know, there's people. You're not in stadium seating, all that kind of stuff. And it actually was a really good story.

I mean, it was actually a little bit more original for what I went into. Yeah, it was. I'm not going to get into it because it's Shrek. But for what it was, you know. If you've got kids staying at your place for the weekend, it wouldn't be the worst one to watch.

Along those same lines with children, because I guess everything goes through that. They did watch, it. Was a British-Scottish film, Five Kids and It. It was made about ten years ago, I suppose. about some kids. It was a lot like a C.S.

Lewis story, Chronicles of Narnia. The kids go away during the war to their crazy uncle's house, who was Kenneth Branagh. Nice. Kenneth Branagh is awesome. He was absolutely fabulous in it.

He played the crazy uncle and just... He went all out. Everybody actually in the family was crazy. His son was about 10. He had one of the coolest mullets I've seen in years.

Nice. And he. He had this mad scientist laboratory in the basement of this castle in Scotland where the kids stayed. And he liked to make monsters and then dissect them. He was like this evil scientist.

Well, he doesn't like to do that. He was a shut-in crazy kid. The five kids come and they find a supposedly fairy, but he's like a turtle shell monster. Guy on a beach that grants them wishes. And it's a really cute story, but just to watch Kenneth Branagh be crazy is worth it.

It was a lot of fun, and they had a lot of fun with it. There are a lot of people that have hated Kenneth Branagh because he's an actor. But I've always kind of liked Kenneth Branagh. and everything is done. Well, he's got such a weird thing because he comes from this super high-end pedigree, but then he turns around and makes stuff like Frankenstein. It was in the Harry Potter movie.

In the Harry Potter, yes. I mean, he does stuff that's... Who was he in the Harry Potter movie? The schmuck. The crazy teacher.

It's like full of... Remember when there was the second one? The one that lets the fairies go and is like, you gotta take care of this. I'm a dick. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Yeah, the character that he's supposed to be the legendary wizard. I don't know the name, like his birthday. Harry Potter's birthday. September 2nd, 1986.

Anyway. I said lie. Aside from that, I didn't do a whole lot. I've been playing the original Final Fantasy. Ooh, nice.

Speaking of Super Geeks. I've played that. I've played that many times throughout my life. Wow. I just recently got it for the Wii.

Okay, awesome. Downloaded it. Played it one time through, and I'm actually on my second go-around. Was that when the first Wave of PlayStation? That was, yeah.

No, that was the original NES. Yeah. It was the original. I was trying to think, yeah, because they did a bunch of them on Super Nintendo, too. That's when they got it. three yeah three and four i was trying to it was like.

Which was actually three years something. I just remember the big hype on that first one that came out on playstation i think that's what i'm remembering that what was that seven or something yeah because that was huge like people lost their damn minds when that three discs yeah yeah it. Was massive epic story and. But yeah i remember yeah my roommate had i i played it all of his buddies played it i would sit and watch while he played it and then turn around and play the same thing so yeah it was pretty bad Awesome. Yeah, I'll play any of those games, and unfortunately I'll play this one repeatedly, I guess.

I'm a big retro game fan because it's how we grew up in that time period. It's just one of those things that I can't let go. I get so much enjoyment out of. The back-to-basics gaming, the gameplay is so much more. Better, more bestest.

Were we playing the other night, like, street fighter knockoff game. I was playing uh old school streets of rage and uh final fight the original oh yeah and so yeah. It's just well the old ones were just so based in like basic strategy like it really they're they're you know they run so much two buttons yeah but it's like they were running on the computer earlier today in the corner some ad for something else but it had pac-man going and i'm just looking at it going that's such a awesome, basic strategy. Like, there's ten. Things to do in the entire game, but yet, it will kick your ass, you know?

It's like, it's just such... Yeah, it's just such an awesome setup. Yeah. Anybody says they beat Hubert, they're lying. That game's impossible.

Yeah. No matter how many times you hit the thing and keep changing colors, what. Do you do there? Die. That's what you do.

I think Corley or whatever, the snake and the pig. yeah so yeah the old ones are just yeah such a i mean you can improve on certain things about them but i think there's a basic level of just skill and strategy that just doesn't get any better than that essence. Version there i i another one that was my wife's favorite that we have for the wii is kid icarus and that is it's got to be the most difficult game i've ever played it took me to grow. Up before i beat it i could never beat as a kid and i. Grew up and i was like oh we're replaying you know play around with it now and i'm like how did i do this is it kind of have the patience to die 80 times in a row just trying to get one up one level you had nothing else to do he sucks So kids' stuff and old video games, I guess, is all I've done.

Right on. It's perfect. Yeah. That's usually what the rest of us do when we don't have kids. Yeah, that's right.

Let's go to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah. Dude, I love Chuck E. Cheese.

Yeah. The place scares the hell out of me. I do not go to Chuck E. Cheese. I've been there once, and I walked straight the fuck out.

I kind of prefer Gaddyland, personally. Me too. There's no animatronic shit scaring the. Hell out of me. Pizza.

I do. Pizza sounds good. Papalino, but they're not open on Sundays. What? It's a crime against humanity.

And against Italy. And Italy. And New York. Spinelli's isn't as good, but they're open. I used to love Spinelli's.

I used to want to be like, if I ever moved out of state, I would come back. Just for Spinelli's. Why? Because it was so good, because I never had that kind of pizza before. The only thing I'd ever had was like.

Maybe I shouldn't express my views. Maybe not. It was delicious. It was delicious. It was greasy.

It was huge. You folded it up and shoved it in your mouth. Awesome. That's what she said. Wow.

The greasy part. That's creepy. No, that's hot. You could probably get away with the folding, but the greasy bit. Oh, yeah.

That's the way. She likes it. Oh, my God. Joanie's imploded now. Come back to us.

It's big and greasy. You just got to fold it. Oh, my God. That fixes everything. Oh, my God.

You got to origami that shit. It's a crane. It's a pterodactyl. It's a brooch. It's a brooch.

It's a brooch. It's a hot. It's a load of snake. All righty. Marlena, geek activity.

Back into it. Did you do any folding this week? I think you shut her down again. Sorry. I have water in my mouth.

I was trying not to choke. I was wondering what was happening. Is she throwing up right now? We've dodged like three spit takes already. The eggplant almost got me.

Diet Lime Pepsi came out my nose really bad once. It was not fun. Diet Lime Pepsi? Diet Lime Pepsi. It was so good.

It was so good. Really? It was delicious. I missed that. We were talking about Coke Zero.

Pepsi Clear the other day. Invisible soda. Gross. I got Netflix this week. Awesome.

Nice. You're not going to get anything done ever. Well, I didn't realize, like, I've been around people who had Netflix and we used to look to watch movies and stuff. They didn't really have that much that was. On the instant queue, but it seems like they've added a whole bunch lately.

This week I watched Little Shop. Of Horrors, of course. Good one, good one. Rick Moranis Obsession. I started watching a couple of movies.

I started watching this movie, which looks like it might be kind of good. I don't remember what it's called, but I know it has Johnny Lee Miller in it. It takes place in like 17... 100s or 1800s in England. But I fell asleep after the eyeball gouging part.

Which is always fun. I don't know how I fell asleep after that, but I did manage to do that. I've had really bad insomnia. Good for Netflix. Yeah, I just watched.

Movies, but I can't remember them. I can't remember anything I've done this week so far. So, not very interesting. Green is shutting down. Yeah, it does.

That after about 90 hours with four hours of sleep total. You could have played Mario and you would have felt so much better. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Or watch Black Star Galactica.

Yep. That's always good. She's all about it. It's awesome. I could give you lots of.

Things to marathon. Yeah. I'm telling you. Mm-hmm. Everything is in 60 to 70 hour blocks.

Yes. I would have also had no electricity, so I've had to stay at my mom's house, but she has cable, so it's okay. Yeah, that's good. No, it's not a good trade-off. It's hard to use Netflix without electricity.

Yeah, yeah, it is. And plus, without my air conditioner on, I can hear my neighbors talking upstairs, and they just talk about dumb shit, and I just don't even want to hear it. Dumb shit. And I'm like, ugh, shut your face. Did you say that through the wall?

Yeah, I did. She's got a broom. Stop having conversations. Just whisper it. Shut your face.

Get the glass. They're like, there's a ghost here and he hates us talking. He says that we're uninteresting boars. Ghosts are jerks. That happens.

That happens. There are ghosts in my house because they like to steal my hammers and my tools. If you sit anything that's like a tool, like a hammer, a screwdriver, a tape measure, anything down, it'll disappear. I don't know why it does that. Yeah, that happened to me for a while.

They might just be collecting under the couch or in the cushions. I don't have cushions. About this insomnia. How bad is it? It's pretty bad.

Ghost stealing tools. Yeah. The ghost of Bob Vila. I'm about to, you know. Is he dead?

No. Not yet. I thought he. Was, but then I saw him on a commercial yesterday for Sherman Williams. So I was like, oh, he's still alive.

DIY. I'm the ghost of Bob Vila. I'm here to sell you paint. I want the ghost of Billy Mays. Right?

Who wants that? Really? I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm Billy Mays and I'm dead.

I'm here to tell you about the afterworld cleaner. That was an episode of South Park, actually. The ghost of Billy Mays is. On an episode of South Park. It's good he still gets work.

Yeah. He was haunting Ike. It was really funny. I'm going to look that up and watch that. And you're hours and hours of not sleeping.

Yeah. Oh, I also entertain myself. This isn't related to movies, but I discovered that my MacBook has. A photo booth thing. So I just like. sit in front of it and take pictures for a long time.

Is that what those 40 pictures of you in front of the computer were? I saw those online. I was like, wow, these are the best pictures that I've taken of myself in a really long time. And, uh, I get these, um, messages from people i'm like hey these are great pictures everyone's like why are you purple that's all anyone said no one's like oh this is a good picture of you they're like uh you look like an. Alien purple i almost said that those 44 purple pictures of you yeah oh it's the monitor light leave me alone.

Yep i wish i could remember more because i feel like i probably had a relatively interesting chock full of movie week. I remembered a movie that was a good movie that I should probably bring up. She reminded me of it. The Machinist. Excellent movie.

I was blown away. There's often times where I question whether he is a good actor. This one sold it for me. He was fabulous. The length that he went, it almost was like unreal.

Because knowing Christian, you know, Seeing American Psycho and like, you know, he's always been buffed and like ripped or whatever. And he's a skeleton. It's creepy. He's like, all I did was like drink coffee and smoke cigarettes or something. Like that's all he did for like, he'd like maybe eat a roll off of the cart or whatever.

I don't think he was allowed breads. I think, sadly, I think I know his, his plan. So he said was black coffee and. Tuna. Dry tuna.

Wow. And that's all he had for like two or three months or however long it took him to get to that point. And I'm just like, that's commitment right there. That's insane. Did he film that around the same time as Rescue Dawn?

Because he was skinny as heck in Rescue Dawn 2. I think it's around that same... Yeah, because it was right before Batman. Because he had to turn around and bulk right back up to get... Which is, again, how does his body not just like shut down?

I mean, it's a good thing if you. dedicate and do that to yourself, you kind of want to get all those roles all at the same time so you don't have. To do this again. Utilize your skeleton-ness. To go from one extreme to the other, because even without the suit, he's got to be pretty bulked up to be Bruce Wayne. I like Christian Bale when he's angry.

He's hilarious. We love that. I love that show. I remember when that happened. I hated his voice.

Oh, good for you. I was like, fuck off, or whatever. I was screaming. He was tearing that guy up. That was awesome, but I'm talking about as Batman.

You really can't take Batman. No. It's like, why did you drink whiskey and rocks this morning? And rocks, yeah. I'm curdling.

We're going to grabble over there. Ooh, but we also remember movies. Totally remember the movie when you started talking about it. And this is a movie that you've never seen. I've never seen it, and I never wanted to see it.

I never had any interest in it. And then he throws it in, and I'm like, what the hell did you just put in? He was like, oh, this is Horace, or I don't know. I just didn't saw it. I just put it in to put in the background while we were doing other things.

And so I was like, oh, okay. So, you know, not really paying attention. And just watching it. I'm trying to get ready for work and catching little blips. And then I was like, Oh, I can't go to work now.

I was, you know, I got drawn into it and I'm like, okay, I got to finish this tonight when we come home. So we start all over again that night, and I'm like. Okay, yeah, I'm in love. Yeah. You got stopped there.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Like, I have a crush on him. I'm telling you. I see that.

I want to make out with him. And then after it was over, I was like, baby, what else do you want to watch? And she's like, do you have two? Number two. Yeah, actually, just stop there, by the way.

Yeah, actually, tell me, it's like, don't go. Two, is it all far? It hits dead. I'd have no need to watch it anymore. I mean, he comes back on the other one somehow or whatever.

Does he? Yeah, he does. Same actor? Hmm. Yeah, but barely.

Like two minutes out of an hour and a half. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. But yeah, I really enjoyed them and had a really, really messed up dream once again. Of course I was.

About minutes. And about the Cinnabites. And about the Cinnabites and like, I don't know, I won't get into what kind of Cinnabite. I was, but. It was pretty awesome.

Yeah, it was pretty awesome. We thought you were just having Cinemite. Becoming a Cinemite. Well, it's only a matter of time before you join in with the crowd. I mean, hey.

But it's a whole classic. Revisiting a whole classic for me, turning you on to. I. Remember growing up, my mom used to rent them and watch them, and I was never allowed to. And I'm like, I don't really want to anyway.

That kind of scares me. You know what my mom was really into watching when I was little? the warlock movies. Oh those are messed up yeah those are really messed up into those it was hilarious. My mom was way cooler when i was little than she is now seriously she played like super mario for days. My mom did too like tetris for hours that was all she did watch warlock watch warlock play.

Nintendo I don't know about cool. I'm not so thrilled right now, actually. When the first Aliens came out, I think once it came out on, like, VHS, my mom bought it and wore the tape out. She watched it. Now that's cool.

That is pretty cool. I was like, Mom, I don't want to watch this anymore. I am Sigourney Weaver. I am Sigourney Weaver. My mom looks like Sigourney Weaver when she did.

She's kind of fat now. Sorry, Mom. You are. Damn. She's like 50.

She's allowed to be. This is cool. She's had three freaking kids. Is that the end of our Geek Weekly? I guess.

I'm still trying to get the image of you making out with Pinhead out of my head. I mean, very carefully. I'm like, how do you make out with Pinhead? That's going to be. Basically, just me licking his needles.

Okay. Whatever you're into. Hold that. Kind of hot, actually. Anyway, yeah, let's leave that alone.

Well, fan mail can be sent to you now. I hate laters. Laters. Laters. Somebody needs to.

They've been slacking lately. Yeah, really. You need somebody to tell such stuff. Look how friggin' awesome we are. I mean, come on.

One of the other people, come on. Pick a side. Whatever. All right. On that note, we will take a break and be back with What's the Buff?

God, Jesus. It is a cheese. I don't even like cheese. It's the only thing that there is. It's the only thing that there is.

Cheese is not even good. I think I've got a popcorn in the car. No! Hellraiser! In the thunder and heat!

Hellraiser! Look, you're back in your seat! Hellraiser! It's intermission. Rise and stretch time.

Time to refresh yourself and visit our snack bar. Got a yen for hot popcorn? Your favorite soft drinks are sparkling cold. The Juicy Frank Sizzling Hot. There's delicious coffee freshly brewed and all kinds of ice cream and candy to tempt you.

Showtime will be announced loud and clear to get you back to your car in time. So stretch your legs. Come to the snack bar now. Ladies and gentlemen, you will soon behold a sight so strange, so horrifying, so utterly monstrous, we dare you to look. Ah!

Look if you must, this is She-Freak. You have just entered the alley of a thousand nightmares. Here behind the tinsel of a monster midway, you will discover She-Freak. A demented thing with the soul of a woman and a diabolical plot for hideous revenge. If you can take it, see She-Freak.

But heed this warning. Ha ha. If you reveal the barbaric, hate-filled ending, you too will end up in the Geek Pit. Gee, freak. Appalling color.

To talk to you about something very important today. That's outside the cinema. I know a lot of you listening now enjoy the film world. Boy, outside the cinema covers all kinds of good films. If you're looking for the classics, perhaps you're looking for a good old Nazi film where the Nazis torture and rape everyone in sight.

Or giant monsters crawl from the sea. Or perhaps an Italian film where Edwidge Finch takes her clothes off for no apparent reason. Or renegade bikers just do whatever they damn well please. Perhaps even occasionally turn into a werewolf, then Outside the Cinema is your place to go. That's www.outsidethecinema.com.

Outside the Cinema, your source for cult movie discussion. Hey, this is Graham Elwood, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. Pawn shot first. You know you love me, I know you care Just shout whenever, and I'll be there You want my love, you want my heart And we will never ever ever. Be apart Unless that's what you're looking for He actually told me last night that's what he wanted I think it's like, do it two more times, I think That's.

What she said. Nice. Yikes. When will that die? Never.

She said, it's gone through waves already. It's like, it was cool like three years ago and then it died and then it came back like a year ago. I was like, really? Yeah, like that was. Whatever, that never went away.

Neither did your mom. Right? Or the word box. No, because I quit hearing it. Nor did the word box.

That will always be there. Some of the funny things, like in the kitchen, it's like you say something and it's like, that's what she said. Yeah, exactly. You have a box and you're like, oh, flying box. We have, like at work, you know, we have breadsticks and chicken fingers and spoons and forks and all that stuff that everybody has in the kitchen.

And, you know, if someone needs like a breadstick, you're like, stick me. Or if someone needs a spoon, you fork me. The other day, I was waiting with this other lady I work with in the kitchen, and she was waiting on chicken fingers. She goes, finger me. That's what she said.

That seems normal. That's awesome. Finger me. She probably didn't even think about it. She did.

It all seems normal to me. I don't know what. You're talking about. That's so funny. We're getting kitchens are funny.

I'm glad none of the guys in my kitchen show each other their balls. Yeah, we've never played that game. We did do the sack tapping game for a while. But luckily for me, I don't have to. So I always win.

There's nothing that makes you more instantly angry than some dude slapping your. Nuts out of the blue. Not so cool. I just want to stab him. It's a little too up close and personal for me.

I accidentally touched my stage chef's butthole last night. Like the actual butthole. Like injury? What kind of restaurant is this? Which sous chef is this?

Because I don't want to go to that restaurant either. Nobody's going to eat in this town ever again. I just went to slap his butt and he bent over a. Little too far. And just the middle finger curved up.

I swear to God, my middle. Finger felt funny for like 70 minutes. I was like, what? We're not friends anymore. I can't look at you.

I think at that point you're beyond friends. I was having a Christmas party at my apartment, my old apartment, and there was a cabinet above my, there was like a little. Hole in the wall in the cabinet above my kitchen cabinet. And I was like in the bathroom, I come out and my, one of my friends is trying to push my other friend like. Up into the cabinet.

And I just hear my friend say, ah, your thumb's been way too close to my vagina, get away. Oh my God. And it was a guy. That was my ass pussy. That was.

A great guy. That was a great guy. Do you have a new tie? Not that he talks about. I have seen a lot.

Babe, is there something you need to tell me? No, he'll show you later. Uh-huh. It's a special trick he learned in the joint. If you're going to do.

That, do it on Jerry Springer. That way I get famous. I'm pretty sure once. I get on TV, I'm going to be famous. I just need to get on TV.

Jerry Springer is the best way to break in, right? Or Judge Judy. Just start a feud with someone over something and go on one of those shows. When have you been listening? I told you not to listen to that show.

They say bad words. A lot of them. Talk about ass pussies. Oh, that's what you think. It's all part of the show.

All right, we're back with What's the Buzz? Groovy. What's the buzz? Lay it on us. I don't know if you're ready for it.

I think I'm ready. I think you're ready to start complaining. I can take it and complain about it. I don't know if you can. Let's start complaining about the Bieber.

Justin Bieber? Is he going to start. Coming out with movies like... I thought you were talking about Leave it to Bieber. Oh, when is that show?

They're missing their window right now. The remake, yeah. Hurry up and get Leave it to Bieber on Fox. It's got to be Fox. It's going to be on this fall.

We just did it. Send us royalties, please. You know what? I would prefer that over what's going on here. I see him making a whole string of movies like the Olsen Twins.

What is a Justin Bieber? Yeah, good. I think that's what everybody said up until, well, everybody that wasn't a 14-year-old girl said it until about two weeks ago. Yeah, I think we made fun of him a few weeks back, and it was the first good portion of us were exposed to him. So, yeah, you're lucky us at that point.

But yeah, apparently he's quite popular with the female youngsters out there. And so Paramount Pictures has greenlit a biopic. A biopic? He's 16. How do you get a biopic at 16?

Give me a freaking break. Well, I learned to wipe my ass. Yeah, right? The diaper years. When I learned about love, oh wait, I haven't learned.

About love yet. Oh, I know it gets better. It will be in 3D. No. No, you don't.

I wish I was making that up. What are they trying to do to the youth of America? Retard it even more. They're trying to get girls to start their periods sooner. I think they're going to feed them stereo radio.

I think that's happening anyway, isn't it? At the theater. Seven-year-olds are like, I need a tampon. Oh, my God. I thought Roger was the one that was going to take his pick.

They start selling them in the lobby. They're like a large. Popcorn and a huge box of Tampax, please. Oh, my God. Oh my god, the one with the wings, baby.

The one with the wings. No, no, not that one. Do we need to get into anatomy? Show me on the doll. Where Dustin Beaver made you start.

Oh, jeez. Oh, god. Okay, anyway. It's hard to take us there. Once again, I'll hit you.

Reset to.... Oh, Lord. It's in 3D. Awesome. It just continues to get more and more ridiculous.

When the news first broke, it came with the surprising addition that the director was going to be Davis Guggenheim, the Academy Award-winning director of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. What? What is happening? Yeah, what? What is happening right now?

Doing a Bieber movie in 3D. What the fuck? So that didn't last long, however. Within two days, Guggenheimer decided that he did not want to have anything to do with it. Thank God.

Oh, my Lord. I think it's just his documentary making friends were making fun of him. Of course. And then that got out. When you've got dorky documentary making guys calling you out, you know you're in trouble.

So, yeah, he has dropped out. I don't think they've picked a new replacement at this point. Thank Lord. But it doesn't matter. It's getting made.

You know it's getting made. Of course, and Disney's going to make a shit ton of money off of it. But this is how. I mean, to me, it made no sense when I first heard about it. Now, the more they describe it, I'm like, is this even a biopic, really?

He will be playing himself. So I'm like, isn't this. Wait, no, that's not a biopic. Yeah, and then they're going to have. performances from his current tour and a big show at Madison Square Garden. I'm like, isn't this just a concert performance?

Yeah. This is going to be, yeah. I was like, this is going to be a behind the scenes thing. How is it? I mean, unless you're going to devote most of the.

Movie to his story and showing him like growing up or whatnot, you know, I'm like, this is not a, traditional biopic. This is just going to be a performance. It's just a money-making BS scheme. Which, I mean, yeah, no surprise there. And that's why.

It's like, everybody's going to bitch about this, and I'll make fun of it, but I'm not going to bitch about it, because you know what? They're going to make a goddamn fortune off of this. So, I'm not surprised by any... Well, other than the Academy Award-winning director. But the rest of it, I'm not...

Yeah, the concert film, the 3D, none of this surprises me. All of this is just... ways that they're going to cash in on this doofus before he becomes unpopular in like two months. When he goes through puberty and starts becoming ugly. Aren't the Jones brothers already over? No, no.

They just started again. Aren't they all married and stuff? One of them. Not the one with diabetes, the other one. The one that looks the most like a hobbit?

Yes. Is that the youngest brother? No, he's the cool one. They all look like hobbits. Hobbits, but one is special.

He's like a hobbit. Like, you can just imagine his hairy feet. One is like a special hobbit. Especially. Oh my gosh.

When is the day? No, I said especially, not a special. I know. He's a special hobbit. Anytime you hear that all day long, kids scream real loud.

Ah! John is so sad. Okay. I forgot to mention this, but this is why I love Netflix so much. I didn't even type anything in except for my email address, and I searched comedies, and they're like, here's some movies you might enjoy.

Little Shop of Horrors, Pee Wee's Playhouse, Cry Baby. I'm like, oh, my God. It's like it knows me. It knows who I am. I can understand that.

I mean, because it does keep track of what you watch and start to base things on it. But if right out of the gate. Logged in that's scary that's awesome. That's creepy i think they can tie in with facebook. Ah there you go that's true everything is now tied to facebook just like um groove shark yeah i didn't do facebook without me even knowing about it and i was like this is awesome it started playing you know i No, it was, I'm sorry, Pandora.

It started playing everything, but it had just pulled from the bands that I liked. Oh, wow. Man, that's kind of creepy, actually. I disabled that very quickly. Stop doing my business.

How dare you give me what I like? Yeah. Without my permission. I didn't tell you to give me what I like, bitch. I get really.

Excited when, like, mindless, soulless internet websites know me. I'm like, what? Like, last FM, I'm like, oh, you played the Pogues, and then you played Napalm Death. Yay! It's just creepy when, like, the little banners on the side come up, and they, like, list.

Your hometown, and list, like, your. Age, and shit, and you're just like, yeah, and you're just like, what the, how do you know me? Stop talking to me, computer! You know what really bothers me? It always has something that's relative to my life, like, interior design or something like that, and it'll be like, meet hot local lesbian singles.

It always says that. And you're like, yes. And I'm just like. Score, finally. Well, I was, they thought I would like gay boys with beards.

Oh, God. Which I'm still saying that's right on the money. I mean, come on. Gay boys with beards. Thank you, Facebook.

Actually, yeah, gay, I know a lot of guys with beards, but not really gay. Exactly. Those are bears. This was all about, it wasn't just about just facial hair. This was beards.

Like ZZ Top beard or Amish beard? No, I don't think they were that specific. Amish ZZ Top. When is that going to kick off? Nice.

That's awesome. One's playing the stand-up cello. They did have the electric Amish for a while. I do remember that, unfortunately. That got carried away.

I need to get into that. Electric Amish? It sounds amazing. Aren't they just called Mennonites? This was.

A fan. Awesome, baby. Jodi, I just clocked in. I haven't been here all day. What's been going on?

Wow. This is like a Weird Al Yankovic type. They would take classic rock and then talk about it. Come together, build a barn. I think that's why I love Weird Al.

I think. Weird Al is like 50% responsible for who I am. I just had this epiphany. Nice, nice. He's one of your parents?

Whoa, wait a minute. I wished. I think Weird Al might be the reason that I like Polka and the Amish so much. I think it's... I think it's his fault.

We're tying in a lot of this. Remember when White and Nerdy came out? I felt like that song was written about me. I love White and Nerdy. I was thinking the other day in the kitchen, I was.

Like, what am I doing? I like that every week we have sort of a little breakthrough here. We have epiphanies. We're not just a movie show. We're changing lives.

We really are. This is only one of my group meetings. I'm already getting tons of stuff done here. We're like a therapy session. Sharing.

We're sharing. And we watch movies occasionally. Weren't we doing the buzz? Oh, sorry. Sorry.

I got distracted. About how Weird Al is happening. That's what we're supposed to do. Growing up ADD. Woohoo!

And I have dated men with curly hair before. I wonder if that also has something to do with my love for Weird Al. It wasn't long because that's just gross. So you went out with the Jonas Brothers. All right, cool.

Yeah. So... The special. The special hobbit. The special hobbit.

That's what you're looking for. All right. Yeah, so to round out fever here, they will be releasing it February 11, 2011, just in time for Valentine's Day. Because when you think romance, you think of a weird-looking 16-year-old boy who looks like a 13-year-old girl. Yeah, right?

Did you hear about the girl that was at a bar drinking? She was like a 24-year-old woman. The police were called to the bar because they thought. that it was Justin Bieber drinking in the bar. I did hear that. It was actually a news report.

I think it was in Massachusetts. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is it Ellen Page? Oh, my God.

And all of the people in the bar, they took a picture, you know, for the newspaper. Oh, that's hilarious. Awesome. The only news I get nowadays is from Tosh. 0' s.

Updates on Facebook. And apparently there's. This picture of Taylor Lautner next to this girl who looked exactly like him. It was really creepy. But she was holding a Taylor Lautner pillow.

So she, like, had an obsession with him. And looking like him. I'm so obsessed with you and I look just like you. We should get together and have babies that look exactly like us. Oh, wow.

Really creepy. That is really creepy. That's freaking weird. I do love me some Taylor Liner, though. He's pretty handsome.

But thankfully you don't look like him. You shouldn't be attracted to people you look just like. Unless you're from West Virginia. Oh. I don't know.

I'm attracted to Amy Smart. Oh, Amy Smart. Oh, she was on Scrubs yesterday. Oh, she's so cute. Hey, I'm back.

Hi. Oh, yeah, I'm here. Never mind. Alright, moving on. In this summer, following the end of Lost, many of the people involved with the show's success have been lining up for new jobs.

So this week we found out the Lost frontman, the signature Hilmer there, that directed... Many of the big episodes, Jack Bender, he is now, which his most impressive thing before that was Child's Play 3. Yeah, right. Anyway, but over the last, you know, 10 years, he's worked on Alias and Lost and kind of built up, you know, a nice little bad robot resume. So, you know, he's doing pretty good now.

Sure. This week, word leaked out that Jack Bender is close to landing the job of directing Moscow, the long-planned new entry in the Jack Ryan film franchise. Well, who's going to plan this time? That's the thing. We talked about it a while ago that they had signed on to do a new one, and...

It is weird that this is the first... They're sticking with this as the first non-Tom Clancy property. Yeah. They're not taking it from a novel. They're just going, we can write our own Jack Ryan.

Fuck them. So. No Affleck. Please. Thankfully, there is no Affleck in this.

Even Baldwin, I think, is okay. Yeah. That's what I think. Which one? Alec back in the day.

Alec's the original Jack Ryan. Yeah. Hunt for Red October. Back when he was actually young and not goofy. Yeah, see, I have no idea what the hell is going on right now.

I'm just asking questions because I'm confused. Yeah, see Hunt for Red October. Yeah. I've seen it. I just don't care.

Nice. Well, we can't make you care. No one can make you care. So, yeah, it was Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, and Ben Affleck. Have been the rundown so far.

So the fourth actor to take on the role, and if Misty were here, she'd be excited, Chris Pine. Oh. Not a bad way to go, really, actually. I can see. Yeah.

Chris Pine. So, yeah, Moscow continues the de-aging of Jack Ryan. They have considerably, especially this last time around, they're getting younger. They're like the Doctor Whos of this world. Maybe that's going to be Justin Bieber's next movie.

God. I mean, if he's good in this. He'll be like the next Jack Ryan. Bieber is Ryan. So, yeah, this next time out, he is fresh out of the Marines and working for a Russian billionaire until his new job sends him on the run after being implicated in a terrorist plot.

I mean, all this is kind of cool. It's just fun. Maybe they're crossing over. I didn't even see the Affleck one, so I don't know. Because to me, it's funny that...

That Jack Ryan has become such a big character and he's got this whole series, especially of movies. I haven't read the books. Again, we frown upon reading on this show. But yeah, I just think it's funny because he's always the least interesting character in any of these movies. Right.

He's like especially like the harrison ford wins and i think harrison ford's awesome but i'm like he's the most boring guy in these movies he's always like the pencil pusher that gets shoved into these action scenes and everybody else is like involved in the action he's just running around going oh shit i hope i don't get shot you know. He's just ass though he always like ends. Up eventually yeah he comes around he's like then he gets pissed off he's like all right fine i gotta kick somebody's ass but i mean he always goes into it so backward you know he just gets thrown into the middle of it so it's He's not like your big action star kind of character, so it's weird that they keep focusing on him.

I guess it's just because the Clancy Novelers are so popular and kept cranking him out of movies. And the Bourne films were so over the top recently that they've got to do something. This is sort of cashing in on the Bournes. Pretty much done now. At least officially, everybody that was making it watchable isn't involved anymore, so...

Even if they try to do, like, a spinoff, it'll be, like, the girl version. Jenny Bourne, coming at you this summer. On CBS. You know they're going to do it. Or there'll be a, like, I don't know.

They'll try to take it off. It'll be, like, a midget Bourne. I have to watch this on Wednesday nights. Midget Bourne. This Wednesday.

Midget Bourne. Midget Bourne? I don't know. Bourne. Bourne.

Bourne. I know. Bourne. I know. That's what I said.

That's different. Midget Bourne. Oh, my God. I'm picturing it right now. It's ridiculous.

Starring Vernon Joyer. They're all driving Mini Coopers. And he still needs a high chair. Instead of, like, flying across from one window to the next, he just kind of jumps up a little bit. Yeah.

Because, I mean, it's kind of hard to fly when you're a little guy. There's not any way too many midget shows. Yes, there are. TLC is all about... Oh, yeah.

I do love... The Little People Channel is what they call it. That's funny. Now, TLC is really just, like, modern, like, Barnum and Bailey. I mean, all it is is freak show constantly, constantly freak shows.

I should like them more than anything. I know. I can get behind that. But at the same time, they try to make it all, like, oh, look, here's the life of these people. It's so amazing and wonderful.

They try to turn it into this, like... It's politically correct learning. Fucking heartwarming stories and shit. I'm just like, no, this is a step right up kind of fucking thing. Don't try to pass it off as something you don't want.

We're watching it because we want to see what the fuck is wrong. Yeah, here's my five tickets. Pull the curtain back, okay? Seriously. There's one TLC special, though, that I've seen it.

Eight times, probably. It's like the girl that was born. Without a face. Oh, yeah. And every time I watch it, I bawl like.

A little baby. Yeah. I mean, it is amazing to watch. The last one I was, like, really into was the little mermaid girl. Oh, yeah, the mermaid girl.

Ariel. Yep. Very much not Ariel. That's weird. Was Sebastian on that?

She was more just like a freak and lived a life of hell. But I like those guys, man. I like those guys. I'm on board with those kind of characters. I feel a kinship with the freaks.

We watched one and it was like, this little boy could not stop gaining weight. He was growing exponentially no matter how much he ate. He was like a year and a half old. He was hugerous. 100 pounds.

30 pounds yes it's not right. They're just like whoa whoa. And they like feed him the same amount of food and he'd still just keep getting bigger and bigger. And bigger and bigger like that's not right yeah they don't understand why he could be dead right. Now is it for you all right moving on.

Other will never finish i'm kidding oh lord again you see the ridiculousness that ensues every week So, Maggie Grace is developing quite a career out of a very specialized and specific role. The kidnapped daughter in Luc Besson produced movies. Nice. After co-starring in Taken last year, this year she has signed on for Taken 2 and is also reuniting... Electric Boogaloo.

Yes, thank you. We all had to say it. I stopped working in there. She is also reuniting with Besson in a science fiction action movie called Lockout. Cool.

Based on a story by Luc Besson, Lockout tells the story of a wrongly convicted man, played by Guy Pearce, who is sent to rescue the U.S. President's daughter from an outer space prison that has been taken over by the inmates. I kind of like this, actually. That's one of the reasons I had to throw it in. Maggie Grace or not, I don't care.

It sounds kind of cool. I like Luc Besson. Yeah, and anything. Again, I think it's all produced at this point. I kind of would like to see him direct it, really.

The thing that bothers me is the, that sounds good, but the taking two idea. You're using that same. Girl, like, who wants her? But stay home. At that point.

Yeah. Once that's happened to you one time, you're like, yeah, I'm never going to leave my city again. I might go to McDonald's, but I'm not. What I'm waiting for. I'm not going nowhere.

Yeah. I'm staying in my fucking house with a gun. And that dad would probably have you on lockdown anyway. Oh, really? Yeah.

Well, what I'm waiting for is. I'm going to college. The phone call the second time, and he's like, get under the bed. She's like, no, fuck that, Dad. You know what?

It didn't do me a damn bit of good. Why don't you teach me how to kill these people? Tell me. Exactly. It must be some knowledge.

I hated that movie. I liked all the action scenes, except it almost felt like they were all too close. Like, all the action was in your fucking face. And I'm like, who is that? What's happening?

Somebody's getting the shit down. Jiggle cam. I like when her friend gets shut up with heroin and duds. Yeah, that was awesome. Spoiler alert.

Yeah, no kidding. She had nice ta-tas. Ta-ta alert. Can't stop, won't stop. Nice.

No, the best part of that movie, though, was the trailer. Still i mean it's the thing i kind of feel like i don't need to watch the movie after the trailer because yeah it kind of covers it all right there really which again is sort of the downfall of trailers. Now yeah but it definitely sold the movie. In a way it's awesome i guess again especially a movie like that you you kind of need to get all that in there you're not going to get your audience in without all the action scenes. And you get a bunch of quive on beat the shit out of people yeah.

Yeah, he's not such a voicey hippie guy. I know. Qui-Gon was a dork. Oh, Lord. So, yeah, this one is Lockout.

Doesn't have Qui-Gon at all that I know of. Other than that, Lockout will start filming in 3D. You saw that coming. Yeah. On September 7th.

So, yep, start getting ready for it. We need to get our 3D glasses. Oh, I'm ready. Yep. Go get in line right now.

I'm wondering when they're going to have 3D eye surgery so you don't have to wear the glasses anymore. The TVs are coming out in 3D. Well, it'll just get to that point and all these people will go do it and they'll be like. Eh, we're done with 3D. Our new thing is going to be.

And then they'll get rid of 3D will be the beta max of the new world. Why hasn't Smell-O-Vision... been they've been talking about that for years like it's a joke i want it to actually. Happen whatever john waters was once again on the forefront of technology yep he had it all covered years. Ago i know because the man's a fucking genius that's right. I can't argue that yep.

Uh we sort of mentioned this last week actually greg you were there for this one You were thrilled about it then, if I remember. Leading up to the San Diego Comic-Con, there was a report that Guillermo del Toro, your favorite dude, was possibly considering writing and producing a new Van Helsing movie as his replacement for leaving The Hobbit. When it was revealed that del Toro is instead writing and producing the new Haunted Mansion movie, which we won't even go back into. Luckily, he's also going to do it at the Mountains of Madness, which actually sounds like an awesome project. So, just ignore that Haunted Mansion.

We already bitched about it. And the Mountains of Madness, like the Lovecraft story? Yeah. He's going to try to do a real adaptation of Lovecraft. And if anybody can do it once again, he's talented enough to do it.

He just needs to pick a fucking project. So, but. Focus. Most fans probably thought the idea of a new Van Helsing was dead, with good reason. But no, we learned this week that the missing piece of the puzzle wasn't that Viltoro was involved, but as who else is producing this new project for Universal.

Tom Cruise. Ugh. When I think Van Helsing, I think Tom Cruise. Even though Del Toro has now left the project, which to me drops down to nothing at this point, the actor who once played Lestat may very well get to play the great vampire hunter, Abraham Van Helsing. So this kind of tells you how far Tom Cruise has fallen down the A-list level here because he's now taking on roles that didn't work for Hugh Jackman.

Right. And not that long ago. It's not like it's been 20 years. This is a very small amount of time to try to reboot, or I guess you could pretend like it's a sequel. But, I mean, when nobody's involved from the other one, how is it much of a sequel?

You're the monster. Tom Cruise. I agree. Yeah. I liked Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing.

I was okay with it. I think there were other issues. Hugh Jackman could play Papa Smurf and I'd be like, yes, I believe you. I believe you, Papa. You are Papa Smurf.

As long as he sings and dances. And wears white little pants and no shirt. He's white beard. Frilly pants. They're not frilly.

In the crotch area. This is one of your dreams, isn't it? No. I'm going to save that one for the other one. No.

Don't touch me. Get off me. I need my medication. On to our adaptation. So is anyone here a Kerouac fan?

No. Greg, you can read. Do you like it? Yeah, I read some back in the college days, and I'm just not into it. I've been meaning to, but I kind of feel like it's one of those things that's way overhyped.

Probably going into it. I, it's one of those. And it's funny cause the whole beat thing is, is like really going to hit in the next, I mean, there, there are several, I just saw the trailer for the, um, the James Franco movie, how that. Looks really cool. Actually, they look like they've done something interesting with it and it's not quite as Hollywood as I expected.

It looks kind of more like an indie film that, you know, they've, they've tried to do something with the character and they're actually going into all these other weird people he was hanging out with. So that one at least could be interesting. There's at least one or two other ones involving all those guys around that point. So, you know, it's going to hit. And it was one of those, I always kind of liked the idea of that movement, not, the specific sometimes.

I can get behind their artistic ideals, but the massive drug use and being a deadbeat and not having a job, none of those I was really on board for. But yeah, they were probably that first wave of, you know, nonconformists. They really did kind of push the envelope of their artistic ideas. And, yes, that gets carried away and bastardized into forms that are really terrible. Oh, yeah.

But, yeah, it's kind of a cool idea. So this, I've heard for a while now they've gotten the, permission or whatever screwing over they had to do to do a version of On the Road. And lately I've just been hearing casting, but I hadn't heard who was behind it. So I wanted to try to figure out a little more about it. So the casting that came out this week, they're adding on to, and here's the one that worries me, no surprise though, Kristen Stewart is in every fucking movie now.

Mm-hmm. I hate her face. It's so lazy. That's a running theme, as we well know. I'm trying to think of who she would be in On the Road.

She's... Wait a minute. I've got it here. She's kind of like the main chick. I'm trying to think if there was a main chick, though.

Really? Really. Oh they'll just write her in yeah i'm sure yeah maybe. She'll sparkle it just as long as they didn't have i just had this instant thought that they'd put johnny depp in it. And that see that's one i kind of expected actually because they don't i don't know i mean it's a tough call in a way it's almost too close because i know he really is into that he's he's like right done different variations and actually it He did a song based on his work that I think will work in here now because there's one on that Kerouac album that's kind of cool.

Once again, him crossing over into music for years there. He does some adaptation of a Kerouac work. I know he's really into them. I could also see him being kind of passionate about it and wanting to get into it, but it would also, to me, fall into that category. It would almost go into a weird area that I...

It would be almost to its detriment. I kind of agree. There's the whole fear and loathing in Las Vegas thing. That was very disappointing to me. Yeah, he could almost fall into some sort of weird caricature of it, which he definitely did there.

So it's, yeah, I can see. I'll probably just stay away myself. I mean, it's interesting. I don't like the Kristen Stewart part, but again, most of the first part, because it was Kristen Stewart and Kirsten Dunst, which I'm like, she has her moments of being a good actress, but she can walk through a lot of roles. So I'm worried about that one.

The new one they added was Amy Adams, which I'm like, eh, she's at least a decent actress. Yeah. It's her and Viggo Mortensen. As the drug-addling husband and wife duo, the old bully and Jane. So that'll be interesting.

We can definitely see Viggo fitting into one of his stories. That's cool. But I hadn't heard much else on the specifics of it, and it sounds a little better the more I found out about it. Let's see. It is Walter Salus and Francis Ford Coppola's adaptation.

So to me, it's like if you've got Coppola involved, that's especially I mean, he hasn't done a ton of directing lately. So I think he just wants to be producer. But again, I think he's a hands on kind of producer and he probably will sort of steer it where it needs to go. So I feel a little better knowing he's involved. And then Walter Salas did The Motorcycle Diaries, which I was just. looking at, like, the trailer again, of, like, that has that feeling.

Like, it very much is that period piece kind of thing. It's got that journey kind of thing and this grand character. So I think he's probably the right way to go as a director, too. So the stars of it, I mean, the guys are huge at this point. Sam Riley from Control, and then Garrett...

Hedlund, who will be huge probably by next year because he's in Tron Legacy. So they're going to play Sal, and Garrett is going to play Dean Moriarty. I think if they stay away from, to me, the way it would work, if they really did, if they keep away from marketing it to Hot Topic Kids, that's step one. If they stay and they actually try to make it authentic. And then make it more like, did you see Into the Wild?

I can't remember his name. McCandless was the guy. I guess Sean Penn directed that. He kept taking moments from his life, and it really was a well-told story. Something like that.

But if they made it more like Fear and the Little Thing in Las Vegas, I think it would just completely turn me off. So I think there's something there, but it would have to be handled very well. Which, again, with both of these guys involved, director and producer-wise, they don't seem to fall into that category. They don't seem to do crazy, over-the-top sort of characters. I mean, especially looking at Salas' last couple of big movies.

Yeah. I don't know. It seems like it's on the right track. Again, I'm not thrilled with some of the casting here, but some of it's okay. So I don't know.

It's yet to be seen. I hope Kristen Stewart gets a TV show and stays there for about 40 years that I never watch. Quit putting her in decent properties. Yeah, whatever happened to the girl from Donnie Darko? She would have been much better in Christmas.

Megan. Jenna Malone. Jenna Malone. That's what she has the exact same. She's the exact same.

She's so gorgeous. Only she's way better. Her face doesn't bother me one. But they're kind of similar looking. Yeah, they're kind of similar looking.

I can see them getting cast in the same role. I think she could do it better. Oh, easily. Definitely better. Because jenna malone you actually buy into like you believe her as a person whereas like kristen stewart just sort of stands there and she isn't a person.

Are you a fucking android yeah she's. Just like she just seems bored and like pissed off the whole time yeah like in all the twilight movies she's just in. All of her movies well you know she what what gets me is you know obviously there's people casting these movies you know that she's in and I've got to wonder, there's got to be girls that go up for these roles that think, my God, she performed better than me reading the script? How? That's the part that I don't understand.

There's that real world of there are people competing against her. Who's competing against her? Because there's obviously somebody better. Unless they're just tagging her, she will be in this movie because we can sell it. Yeah.

And there, there is no competition. I think that's what it is. I think it, especially with marketing machine people. Yeah. At her level right now.

Like if you're, it's all hype. She is the, again, she is the actress to go to. If you need somebody in her age range, that's who they're giving it to. Look at the fucking runaways movie. She doesn't fit that part at all.

If you ask me, but she was the name. It's like, there were only two girls that were really big names in. That age range really. And they were like, they gave it to both of them. So, I mean, it's like, and a lot of good that it did.

Yes. I mean, it's, it's, It's just one of those, you're one of those people. If you fall into that category, you get projects thrown at you, and it's greenlit with you involved before it even hits anything else, before there's a screenplay half the time. It's just a project with your name attached to it. I would have even been okay with the older girl from Zombieland.

Yeah, she's actually pretty good too. She's actually coming out. She's going to be in a new movie where she plays a girl who pretends to have sex with nerdy guys in her school so everyone thinks. She's a whore. Nice.

But she's not. She just goes in a room and screams really loud. Where was that service when I was there? Exactly. I know.

I mean, I would have liked to finish the deal, but I would have taken that. Yeah, you don't have to. Just tell everybody. Just tell everybody we did it. It's a good idea, actually.

We need to get on this. You're making noise. while playing like Pac-Man. Oh yeah. Oh this could be a good movie actually yeah right and then they bond and then. They fall in love I see where this is going ideas Hollywood ideas fresh.

New ideas listen I don't know we stole that one it really is a movie. In her class they're reading the scarlet letter so she like puts scarlet letters on all her clothes and everyone's like I just want to see this movie so. Bad right Awesome. I bet they're not playing Pac-Man in the movie though. Unless they're going super retro.

Alright, I think that will wrap up part one. We can rock out with Johnny's music now. What was his band's name? Do you really want to know? I just keep thinking it's like Sparkle Horse or something.

No. Sparkle Horse. That's one of those other ones. Then it is now. Right?

Even my band, Sparkle Horse. I think it already is a band. Yeah, I think it is. I think you're thinking of the Counter Reeves band. Yeah.

They were Dogstar. Dogstar. Why do I know that? But I do. Yeah, that's right.

I did know that. I own an album. I actually am starting a band, but we don't have a name for it yet. Jerry, are you going to have an accordion in your band? Yes, there is.

I figured. And a banjo, and a fiddle, and a washed up bass, and a washboard. My little brother has a mandolin. He's 16. He's looking to be in band.

Well, knowing our group here, I probably shouldn't tell you the name of the band. And I don't know if this was always his band or just whoever he got together on this project. But the listing for this is Johnny Depp and Come On. Hmm. Really?

That's what she said. I didn't even know that. Right? So there you go. Interesting.

How did that thing come? Spelled? It's spelled the right way, actually. Okay. Not like the Tesla way.

That's good. I thought you said not the Tesla way, and I was like. What the fuck does Tesla have to do with anything? Nikolai Tesla, why? Why?

Oh, screw Benjamin Franklin. Inventing the radio was hard. All right. On that note, we will roll on out of here and invite you to come back and join us for this week's Sofa Theater feature, Dream. Yes come back.

And join us please come back yay come back yeah. That's what she's doing come back Michael. Lockett mad road driving men ahead the mad road lonely leading around abandoned to the openings of space towards the horizon. Wasatch snow has promised us in the vision of the West. Spine heights at the world's end, coast of blue Pacific starry night.

No bone half banana moon sloping in a tangled night sky. The torments of great formations and mist. The huddled invisible insect in the car racing onwards. Illuminate. The raw cut.

The drag, the butte, the star, the draw, the sunflower in the grass. Orange-butted westlands of Arcadia. Forlorn sands of the isolate earth. Dewey exposures to infinity in black space. Home of the rattlesnake and the gopher.

The level of the world low and flat. The charging, restless mute, unvoiced road keening in a seizure of turbulent power into the route. Fabulous plots of landowners in green unexpected. Ditches by the side of the road. As I look from here to Elko along the level of this pin parallel to telephone poles, I can see a bug playing in the hot sun.

Swish. Hit yourself a ride beyond the fastest freight train. Beat the smoke, find the thighs, spend the shiny, throw the shroud. Kiss the morning star in the morning glass. Mad roads driving men ahead.

Pencil traceries of our faintest wish and the travel of the horizon merge. Nosy cloud up-busks in a dravel. Of speechless distance. The black sheep clouds cling a parallel above the steams of the CBQ. Serried little Missouri rocks haunt the badlands.

Harsh, dry brown fields roll in the moonlight with a shiny cow's ass. Telephone poles. Toothpick time. Dotting immensity. The crazed voyager of the lone automobile presses forth his eager insignificance in noseplates and licenses into the vast promise of life.

The choice of tragic wives. Drain your basins in old Ohio and. The Indian and the Illini Plains. Bring your big muddy rivers through Kansas and the mudlands. Yellowstone and the frozen north.

Punch lake holes in Florida and L.A. Raise your cities in the white plains, cast your mountains up, bedaw the west, bedight the west with brave hedgerow cliffs rising to Promethean heights in fame. Plant your prisons in the basins of the Utah moon. Nudge Canadian groping lands that end in Arctic bays. Burl your Mexican ribneck, America.

We're going home. Going home. Who is this mysterious wizard? What new villainy are his men up to? Don't miss Tunnel of Terror, the second exciting chapter of Batman and.

Robin, at this theater next week. This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.