94.1: You Got Fire in your Pants Today Sir

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I am Brian.

Hey, this is Roger. I am Misty. What? What? That was awesome.

This is Jay. Not so awesome. Not so awesome. Our lineup keeps changing, fluctuating. That's part of our charm.

Every week at the party and you never know who's going to be there. I left Marlena at the flea market yesterday. That's true. Did she get sold? Yes.

Nice. So we got a deal. What was the going rate? Two tubs of fudge. Two tubs of fudge.

You traded her to Amish people? Yes. Because I think she'd be okay with that. Nice, nice. That's why she didn't put up a fight.

It'd be pretty easy to fight Amish people. All right. Fight them with modern technology. They might have fists under their beards. No.

I would shave them off with my electric razor. Oh, wow. They do have a lot of razors in the market. Yeah. All right.

Lord. Should we move on into this week's geek activities? Yeah, let's go for it. One of which we've already alluded to, but we'll get to that later. All right, so for this week, let's see.

I actually watched a couple of new things. I watched The Book of Eli. How did you like that? I didn't see it, but I heard about it. Me too.

I've been kind of holding off on it. I went into it, and I really didn't know how I felt about it. I ended up, I think, liking it more than I expected. I kind of like the world that they create. I definitely like the action early on.

There's a fight scene at the beginning. Where Denzel just, like, whips up on these dudes, and it's fucking awesome. And then there's another one, like, 20 minutes later that's almost as badass. So it's like, you get a lot of really cool, like, fight scenes with him, and there's a really kind of a cool setup with this post-apocalyptic world going on. So, I mean, all of that I really like.

It does sort of take a turn midway in that it... I don't know if it slows down, but it gets a little more predictable, I guess, so... I don't know, but I still ended up kind of liking overall. I, I saw sort of where it was going, but it was okay. You know, cause I liked where it ended up.

So it's like, eh, it's still, it didn't get a ton of money when it came out and, I can see it would be a hard sell for a lot of people, but I don't know. I thought it was pretty fun. I kind of heard about the twist, and I was like, oh, really? Come on. Like, I don't know.

I'm not even sure which twist. I think I know what you're talking about. I won't ruin it for anybody. But to me, that wasn't even a twist, really. I was just like, oh.

But more about, like, the book itself. Yeah, I was just like, well, it's still whatever. I guess it would make sense. It continued on either way. But I would like to see it, if that made any sense at all.

It's still, yeah, it's pretty cool. And you get a nice little minor role from Tom Waits. Oh, I love me some Tom Waits. Tom Waits is freaking awesome in everything. Even in movies that aren't very good.

You can always have fun with Tom. In Rumblefish, there's like the bar... Owner or whatever. Yeah. I like the carny at the fair who sounds like Tom.

I don't think it's actually him, but. That's why I said the guy at the fair who sounds like him. I know. He is very cool. He wants you to play the game where you shoot the water and make the little horses go up.

Shoot the water in a clown's mouth. What's funny is he's always there. We've been to that how many years? We're also going to Yeah, but you'd think he'd trade off or he'd end up in a different city, but nope, he is always there. At the same booth.

At the same booth, yeah. That's his specialty, is the water in the clown's mouth. That's his specialty. He went to school for that. Yeah, he can't just switch off.

He's got a degree in water in a clown's mouth. He's got a code name. Specialty, water in a clown's mouth. Wow. Especially trained in water sports.

Did you watch anything else, or was there any other geekery? I did. I actually, just yesterday, I watched Batman Under the Red Hood. Which is a new animated version that came out. Sounds dirty.

I didn't say Batman Behind the Green Door. Or Chokin' on the Red Rocket. That's a whole different thing. But this one I actually really liked. I was a big fan of the animated series, the one that kind of kicked off after the Tim Burton movies.

Yeah, those were good. I liked them. They were early 90s, 40-ish. Yeah. Well, it was one of those that, I mean, they sort of took their cue from the Tim Burton, but they were almost better because they had so much more time to play with it.

Yeah. So by the end it's like not only were the visuals awesome because you got that cool like gotham that he sort of set but at the same time it's dark and gritty it also kind of became yeah it became sort of like a film noir thing and every you know he was like the detective in everyone because he is and like it really sort of played with that as as you watch the series and It was one of those, yeah, it was really dark and kind of like weird that it was a network show in the middle of the afternoon geared for kids. I'm just like, to me it was better written than 90% of shit that was on TV. It was supposed to be this goofy kid show. They brought out Batman and Beyond.

Yeah, I don't know what I thought. I didn't watch much of that. Yeah, I didn't watch it at all. It's an interesting idea, but to me it's not the same thing. It's a whole different thing.

But even the one that they just came out with, this last wave that was the Batman or whatever, it's still, the artist doing it, they're a little different. It's got a different look to it, but it's still kind of playing with that. I wish they would have done a darker, better version of Dick Tracy. Yeah then the stupid what what year when did that come out 90s. It was 90 i think it was the year after batman.

Yeah with madonna and. Uh there's parts of that i like but. It's parts but for the most part it's just basically a disney film you know you're just like oh. Man it does lighten on some of the uh dark gritty yeah you know Which this is sort of the world that Batman lives in, especially in the animated version. You don't want Richard Tracy.

You want Dick Tracy. The private dick. Tracy. Oh, man. But no, they haven't done it.

I mean, they've done a couple. They've done a lot of those Justice League ones, and they keep doing a lot of the other DC. But I don't know how many that they focus so much on Batman lately. I haven't been watching them, but. this one to me reminded me a lot of mask of the phantasm because this one is rated pg-13 it is it is not pulling any punches they kill people in this awesome they yeah i mean it's it's pretty hardcore as far as that i mean if if you're expecting like a kid's show like it used to be it's like this this takes a turn it also takes a turn where they uh it for anybody who was a big fan of it they've kind of changed up the voices. So it used to be Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill, and they sort of became the voices of Batman and Joker.

All the series. Yeah, they've switched it up. It's actually Batman is Bruce Greenwood, which you would know as Christopher Pike in Star Trek. So he's doing Batman in that. And then the one that's really, it sounds more weird than it is, I guess.

Godfrey is the Joker. Shit. Oh my God. Ha ha, Batman. Yikes.

Oh, God. But no, the turn they do Joker-wise, it's John DiMaggio, who is Bender. Really? Yeah. Whichever once in a while you can hear it in there.

It's not as cheesy as it sounds. Because I expected it to just... I love Bender. But I expected it to just be Bender. He's awesome from Adventure Time.

Yes, he is. But that's the thing. In Adventure Time, he sounds like Bender. He's just flat out... You're just like, ha, look, Bender.

That's what I was afraid of when I heard that they had him as Joker. I was like, oh, that's gonna... Because Mark Hamill was so good at it. So good. I mean, he really created his own character with that.

And that was awesome. And yeah, I was expecting... it to be way more bender and it would be, it's not really. He, every once in a while, especially when you laugh, you kind of, you're like, oh, okay, I see it. It's him. But, but no, it's, um, he, he does a good job.

He, he plays it differently. He's not quite as crazy. Most of the time he's a little more in the real world. He still makes his weird comments, but yeah, I mean, Mark Hamill played him pretty certifiable towards the end there. So, I mean, it's, yeah, it's a little more in control, but then he's also pretty hardcore as far as the character it's, it's based off a pretty big issue when all this took place.

And, there's a nice right off the bat you get a really grim little moment with him so it's yeah it's uh it's kind of cool but the other ones yeah Nightwing is Neil Patrick Harris so there you. Go I love me some Neil Patrick Harris he. Is fabulous and uh Red Hood is the new bad guy they bring in and it's Jensen Ackles so they've got. Sort of a weird forehead they've got like. An all-star cast going on this thing so it's um but yeah it's I was surprised how you know how much they sort of tapped into that old version of the show that I liked and And Mask of the Phantasm, which was another one that was sort of a PG-13, pretty hard look at the Batman idea.

So it's pretty serious. It is something that I don't think you could do and pull off as just like a normal kid. show. Because most of it is about the relationship with anybody who's come into him. It starts off with Nightwing and then the new Robin that kind of got brought in. So a lot of that is how Batman relates with them and how he is supposed to be taking care of them and feels like he has to protect them all the time.

And him dealing with when he lets people down. So it's a lot of the really heavy... you know guilt that makes batman who he is because that's sort of what built this superhero is nothing but you know guilt and anger. The fuel that drives them basically. Yeah so it deals a lot with that and uh it's kind of cool so it's better than i expected i guess and i really it still has that look of the show that i like it's definitely plays up on that that goth world that you know the closer to the tim burton version of batman visual wise so that was awesome too so I'd say check it out. If you like the old Batman animated series, it's still pretty cool.

But that was most of it for me. Well, we didn't really have much geekery joining us this week, but we will next week because we borrowed Fanboys, which she has not seen, from one of our friends. And we already watched Fanboys, and I'm kind of looking forward to watching it again. I mean, I know it didn't take a lot from it the first time. I'm just not a really big, big, big, huge Star Wars fan.

But Kristen Bell was wearing the Slave Lair. Kristen Bell in the Slave Lair is awesome. Definitely. So I can only say to be continued for us, because that's what we'll bring to the table next week. I will say, and this is one I don't think I knew, because at the time we still, as much as the rest of us kind of liked it, we still had our issues with it.

I have to say, right after that, I heard an interview with the director about I give them so much credit for what came out of it. The fact that it was as good as it was, I can find you the link. Because, I mean, it's amazing how much shit they put him through on that and how he got taken off of it and other people came in and shot stuff. And he was trying to just get his property back from them. and piece it together at some point and some stuff he could reshoot and add and other stuff he just couldn't. So, I mean, it's, it was an amazing story to hear the ordeal that he went through just from concept to what ended up coming out.

And he's, you know, he's like the way that I originally had it planned. would have been great. And he's like, I'm still pleased with how it turned out, how I was able to salvage what's there. Yeah. But yeah, it's, it's a director. It's like, I wish I could have done what I wanted to do, but for whatever reasons, budget money, somebody else.

Yeah. So producing, looking back at it, I'm kind of like, it still had a lot of really good stuff in it. So I'm impressed that he pieced together what he did and even got it out period. Cause there was a while where even that wasn't going to happen. So, Yeah.

So, yeah, know that going in. Okay, sweet. And, yeah, if you want, I can try to find that because it's a pretty cool interview. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

So that's pretty much nothing in all for us. I don't think we collectively watched anything. I watched some stuff by myself. I watched. I watched Burning Bright, which I was really excited about.

I really did. I liked it. For me, it was suspenseful. It was about the tiger in the house. Yeah, we brought it up several weeks back.

Oh, God, yeah. I fucking love that movie. He'd be fucked. I mean, there's the whole story with her stepdad, and you fucking hate the guy instantaneously. Not us.

Huh? We wouldn't be fucked. Because you're going to shoot the tiger. Oh, yeah, we would. We're fucking loaded.

Loaded. Loaded for bear. But seriously, you hate the stepdad because he's the one who blows all the money on a fucking tiger in the first place. Dumbass. Because he wanted to start this whole nature reserve park.

So he wanted people to come to their house and see all these animals and shit. And he wanted, we've got to have something scary. And what's scarier than a tiger? Well, you don't put it in your house, dumbass. And this whole thing was, well, to control a tiger, what do you do?

You don't feed it. Good plan. That way you show the tiger who's boss. So when the girl and her autistic brother wake up in the morning. Was it funny or not?

We're so pussy. That's noxious little kid. But anyways, yeah, they wake up and holy shit, there's a tiger in the house. And there's a hurricane going on too. leave the house because it's all been boarded up the front door has been boarded shut so it's obviously kind of planned and her stepdad you find out let the tiger in. There the one two punch of a tiger and a hurricane.

Yeah I'd be less afraid of the hurricane but anyways yeah to me it was kind of suspenseful because you're like oh shit. There's a tiger in the fucking house. And you're like oh it's a pretty kitty and then you're like oh he's going to eat your face. But they are big I love big. Kitties but yeah that was pretty awesome I liked it I was happy with it then I watched I watched The Prowler, which I think is from, like, I'm guessing early 80s.

I didn't look up the date or anything. Like, late 70s, early 80s. Around the same time as, like, my bloody Valentine. Because it's pretty much the exact same fucking story. There was a homecoming dance or graduation dance, like, 30 years ago.

And some people got killed by a guy dressed up in an army outfit. And they never say who it was. So then 30 years later, after not having had this dance... they're gonna have it again the first time they do and yeah people start dying again by a guy in an army mask or army outfit. It was the son of the guy who did it originally. They don't even really say really.

What a cop out they say he did it but they don't really say why or anything but it actually just has some really good death scenes for like you know early 80s there was some gruesome shit there was a uh a pickaxe up through somebody's head. That was pretty awesome. It's pretty My Bloody Valentine, too. Yeah, it was a good time. They were the same year.

They're both 1981. I don't know which one stole from the other one first. I don't know, but it was awesome. I love My Bloody Valentine. I would say this one's not as good as My Bloody Valentine, but it was pretty fun.

I was always a big fan of the original. Yeah, me too. As a kid, not supposed to be watching it on cable. I did anyway, and I thought it was fucking awesome. Yeah, I loved it.

Yeah, that was the end of that one. Then I watched Dead End. Which I'm not really sure I felt about it. I was going to say I fucking loved it, but then I'm like, the more I think about it, maybe I didn't. Which one was it?

Dead End. There's a guy, Ray Weiss, who's fucking awesome. I love Ray Weiss. And his wife in the movie's name is Laura. So all the time I'm like, dude, no, you're Laura Palmer's dad.

You shouldn't be married to a girl named Laura. But anyways, because Laura Palmer and Ray Weiss. Laura Palmer. But anyway, so they're on their way. It's Christmas, and they're on their way to her family's house, which he is not happy about.

And he takes a shortcut through the woods. Oops. That's where it always begins. And then they're almost in a wreck, and then it's the whole thing where they all end up getting picked off one by one. Are they redneck cannibals?

No. No. Thank God. It's just they're... A girl in a white dress shows up, and she's got a dead baby, and then the person will get wandered off, and then they'll go driving by in a hearse, and it's fucking weird.

It's got elements from Soul Survivor in it, which you should know what I'm talking about there. You should kind of know where it leads you. But it's still interesting. Actually, I didn't expect the end, but when I went back and thought about it, I'm like, Yes, Santa Claus. He's an evil fucking bastard.

Silent Night, Deadly Night. Then I watched. I went back after my John Schneider love fest. I went back and I've been watching the... I watched all of season one of Dukes of Hazzard.

And I gotta say, it's still fucking awesome. I still get excited whenever they go over a ramp and go, yeehaw, I don't care. It just shows fucking awesome. It is. It's got the tight pants.

I think you're liking it on a different level than we did as children. I never. I don't remember ever, yeah, getting that into it on that level. I wanted General Lee when I grew up. I wanted tight pants.

You did have tight pants. I had the little Hot Wheels version of the car. I think that was what I was a little more entertained with. It's awesome. Yes, sir.

He was shirtless quite a bit. That was awesome. And you watched a couple episodes with me. Was it as awesome as you remember it being as a child? As a kid, yeah.

I remember loving the hell out of that show. I still love the hell out of it, though. It's just as awesome. But I had the Hot Wheel, the hurdle. Hot Wheel that got taken away from me at school.

Damn. Fucking teacher. Damn. And then bought me another one. You got a frowny face that day.

In your fucking eye. Yeah. This one's pretty amazing. Yeah, it's still fucking awesome. I love this show.

It's still awesome. Yeah. I think the only dual geek activity that we did was, aside from the flea market, was we. Which we went on top of the flea market because I bought me a shitload of like 1980s. Teeny bumper magazines with Corey Haim in them.

And George Snyder. We also played Resident Evil Darkside Chronicles. Which we kicked ass at. Which we kick ass at, yes. That's the rail shooting.

The newer one. That covers... Code Veronica. Code Veronica and. I love the first one.

I think Resident Evil 3, Nemesis. Nemesis 3. Is that the one that takes place in the city with the cop? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

So it's three... It covers three and then Veronica. Oh, wow. So, yeah, it's pretty cool because there's some rooms you don't get to go in because then you're like, hey, I want to go in this room, but it doesn't let you because it's a rail shooter. But then in order to play this game, we had to go get the official Resident Evil.

We didn't have to go. Yeah, no, we needed them. We had to get them the official Wii Resident Evil blasters. Awesome. Dude, that game, I remember the first one, it was just, The Umbrella Chronicles.

Which is fucking awesome. I blew through. That in one night. Yeah, we went through that one in one night. Yikes.

My friend and I sat and unlocked every single thing you could, which was really difficult. Like, later on, we had to do everything perfectly on the hardest hits. Like, oh, God. But those games are excellent. They're excellent.

Love the hell out of them. I still think the Overkill one's probably my favorite. House of the Dead? Yeah. Yeah, that one's got to be...

If anybody owns a Wii, if you do like rail shooters... and you haven't gotten to check out House of the Dead Overkill, get it. It's fucking awesome. It's way over the top. It's shot like Grindhouse. The guy, it's basically, you've got to watch the language.

Don't let your kids play it because every single thing is like, fuck this motherfucking zombies. They're shooting it. It's just ridiculous, bloody, gory as hell, but absolutely fun. That's what I always say. Yeah.

And then we went to the flea market. We went to the flea market and I bought seven magazines from like the early 80s and early 90s that had John Schneider and Corey Haim. Not the same magazines, because that would just be kind of strange, but yes, independently they. Were the magazines. Yeah, they were of different eras.

A lot of teen bop and teen. Big bop. Big bop and teen. Wow. A lot of new kids were going on at that time.

Yikes. Oh, the ones from the early 80s were kind of scary, because there was guys in there, and you're like, oh, that was hot, really? Yeah. John Hexum. Richard Grieco.

Hey, Richard Grieco was fucking awesome. Don't talk about Booker. No. Booker. I'm a new dog.

Hey, there was some Menudo. There was some Menudo. A lot of new kids. There was some Leif Garrett, too. Who was that one guy?

I can't stand. Marky Mark and the fucking. No, hey, don't talk shit about Marky Mark. He's got three nipples and the bitches like to suck it. That's what I hear.

Oh, he's not a Corey, is he? There's only two Corys. No, no, it's the other one that was in... Is it Full House? John Stamos?

He was in some of those, though. Which we did. There was a pinup of him in there from the early 80s. Are we talking Kirk Cameron? Oh, God.

Everybody hates that guy, too. He's a religious nut. See, that's the thing. I didn't hate him back in the day. I hate him now when I've heard some of the things he did back then, and now his crazy, ugh, I don't know.

He just seems crazy now. So now I hate him. That's right. Yeah, that wraps up all we watched. Oh, yeah, we did go to the flea market.

There was some fudge there, which I'm still excited about, which is why Marlena traded her in. Do you want to tell the glove story? The glove story? Oh, the fur mittens? Oh, no.

Those were frightening. She wouldn't even take a picture of them. I'm like, why? Put them on. So I take a picture.

She's like, no, I don't want to put my hand in there. Yeah, they were fur mittens. They were probably made out of fox fur. And fox skin. Basically looked like a mummified Eskimo.

They were all dried and beef jerky-like, and she. Didn't want to stick her hands in them. I can't imagine why. I guess she still picked. Them up, though.

She still picked them up. That's pretty foul. Just eat them. Just nibble some of that. Just eat them.

Yum, yum, yum, yum. Nom, nom, nom. Probably better than the food at the point. Hey, I ate some fries. She ate some fries.

She was okay. You ate some fries, too. I ate some fries, too. You snitched my fries. He co-offered them.

I know. That way I can make you throw away the box when I was done. I didn't offer you any food. I couldn't make you throw it away later. You still would.

The thing I don't understand is these flea markets. It was the big antique flea market that they have at the fairgrounds. The double-sided one. The thing that I don't understand is the flea market seems to drag out people with their dogs. Dogs and strollers.

The only thing more ridiculous than that was the guy walking around with the baby hammock on his stomach that had the dog in it. Like, you know, the baby carriers. Like the papoose? Wow. The ones that puts the baby on the front.

I've seen those. Are you kidding me? The guy had his dog in it with the legs sticking out. What a fucking. Oh, God.

You could just die in a car crash and the world would be better. But the only thing, you know, it's silly and almost ridiculous to see all these people pushing their dogs around in strollers, but at least their dogs don't pick up shit that's breakable and then drop it and go, whoops, I didn't break it. Yeah, right. You know what? You don't need to be pricking up antique shit, you're a kid, okay?

And you can't afford half the shit anyway, so quit picking stuff up. And more importantly, their parents should be telling them. No, you know, I'm picking up this fucking fabric. Get all of your freaking redneck mongoloid son. Hey, mama, what's this?

I didn't break it. Not only am I on board for the leashes for children, I'm also on board for choker chains. I've got a kid. She knows damn well better not to touch stuff when we go out. No, she does not.

For the most part. And when we're at the antique flea market. We don't take her anywhere anymore. Somebody's learned a lesson, but it might have been you. Other than that, I didn't watch anything.

I've read books. Reading i know it goes against our ways. I was gonna say they didn't even have pictures but some of them kind of did yeah i read the never-ending story which jesus h fucking christ i was beginning to think it was not making shit up that it was never going to. Fucking end it was true to its name. I'm fucking serious dude i was that's the one that had pictures because kind of cool because each chapter started with a different letter of the alphabet like a b c d all the way through so it had little pictures for each chapter page that was kind of neat little pictures.

Jesus Dates Christ took forever to read. I was mad because it covers, like, the first half of the book is the first movie. And I love the movie. Oh, yeah. The first movie's fucking awesome.

It is awesome, yes. The second movie, eh, I'm not so big on it. But does the second movie tie into the book at all? See, I don't remember the second movie that much, but I remember he went back home after the first movie. Yeah.

No, in the book, he fucking stays there. He's there until the end of the fucking book. He's hooking up with the name of the chick that you can never decipher what her name is. In the book, it's Moonchild. Moonchild.

Fucking hippie. Anyway, in the book. He's hooking up with Moonchild. In the book... Moonchild.

In the book, Bastion's this little fat fucking useless kid that can't do anything right. So, yeah, I don't know anything worse than fat kids. It's fat useless kids, and it's even worse if they're redheads. But anyways. Ginger fat useless kids.

God, that's the worst right there. Anyways, so the first part of the book is the first movie, which is awesome. I don't know if I was okay with the first part. And then it gets to the part where he's in Fantasia, which in the book it's called Fantastica, which is just fucking stupid and gay. And I guess they realized how fucking stupid it sounded when they actually had to say it on a regular basis.

So for the movie, they changed it. Well, probably Disney, though. I'm assuming Disney owns the rights to that now. Or did at the time, anyway. Anyway, so he's in Fantastica, which is the name of the book.

And he's just there. And the whole second half of the book, the book's 445 pages long. So it's never any story. It's a certain amount of pages. But anyway, it's just the whole rest of the book.

It's him making wishes and making up Fantasia again. Because everything's disappeared and he has to go through and make it all back up. I side with the nothing. Yeah. Cause that guy was fucking awesome.

God, the nothing was fucking cool. Yes. But then it's the whole second half. It was just him being a whiny bitch and he makes him, he wishes himself not fat and he wishes himself to be the smartest and the fastest and the strongest. No wonder he never left.

Cause he didn't want to go back home and be a fucking fat useless nobody. Exactly. And then by the end, he's like, by every wish he makes, he like loses memories of being human. So he doesn't want to fucking go back anymore. And, It's just a conundrum.

Yeah, they don't want you. But he's back to the end where he's wanting to go back home. He don't remember why he wants to go home in the first place because he don't remember nothing. Well, wish that part away, too. God, he's just a whiny.

Little bitch, and he screws over Trey. That's another thing that bothered me. That's why Trey was horse-talked, and I don't like Artex talking because he's sinking into the sand. He shouldn't be talking about how he's dying. That's just depressing.

Yeah, right? It's depressing enough anyway. He's got the Eeyore voice and he's singing. I'm dying now sure wish you'd pull me out but i guess i'm gonna die ah fucking hell yeah that seems traumatizing like still. I i hate to think about that crying when i was like yeah dude seriously that movie it's so awesome it is it is one of my favorite movies from that time period i think it's better than dark crystal it's oh it's I still love The Labyrinth, though, so I can't say it's.

Better than that. I would almost. As much as I like Dark Crystal, The NeverEnding Story is fucking awesome. It really is. It's more epic than Dark Crystal, I think.

But yeah, The NeverEnding Story, it pissed me off. It was just way too much of words and whiny. Little fat kids. I told you about the books. Yeah, damn books.

Books is nothing but words. Then I read The Bad Seed, which just goes to prove that kids are just inherently evil. And it's just about that. That's true. Some kids are just born bad.

I haven't watched the movie. I want to watch the movie someday. But yeah, the little kid, she's probably killing people if they have stuff she wants. Which I'm like, so you better watch out if that kid tries to get any of my shit. I want to watch that.

We're throwing that on the list. Okay. Because I want to watch the old movie. We should totally watch that. We'll watch that next time we have an opening.

But yeah, it was awesome. Definitely. But yeah, I was pissed off at the end, though. I don't know if I can't get away with the end of the book. Because if we watched the movie, that would kind of ruin that.

I don't know how the movie ends. I don't either, so no spoilers. No spoilers. No swiping swiper. Who was it that fucking recommended that I watch The Room in the first place?

That would be both Naked Eskimo and Barbarella Colt. All right, first of all, fuck that movie. Second of all, I played the game. There is an online game. I don't know the website.

Which, first of all, I forwarded it to both of them. They both seem excited by it. So I'm just telling you guys that originally came from Misty. So she's doing you a favor. And I'll let you know, I played the game all the way through from beginning to end, so I think that qualifies as watching the movie.

And I'm not watching that movie again. Fuck that movie. It was horrible. And there's my review of the movie. It sucked ass although it was fun because in the little video game he gets in the shower he does this little naked dance little 8-bit.

That's what's so awesome about that game is yeah it's super old school graphics. But he has his little 8-bits jiggling about in 8-bit yeah jiggling around ass and everything horrible acting And even in a video game. I had the sound down so I couldn't actually hear anything going on. I don't want to hear that shit. So yes, I played the game.

The game. Of the room. So there. There you go. That's almost even better than watching the movie.

Because nobody, everybody's watched the movie at this point. How many people have given you a review of the game? Yeah, it went on and on and on. Since I've never seen the movie, I didn't know when it was going to fucking end. So I kept playing it.

I sunk a good 45 minutes of my night the other night into this game, which I'm still hoping is less than actually watching the movie. So yeah, I played the game all the way through. So I'm guessing that's what happened in the movie. In my head, that's what happened. It's a lame movie, and I'm not going to watch it.

Screw you guys. With love, Misty. Love, Misty. No, it's nothing against them. Just fuck that movie.

And fuck everybody in that movie. Except for I don't want to. Ew. Ew. There's some ugly, misfortunate people in that movie.

People. People. I went to Walmart for a second. Woo, we're from Indiana. Woo.

Noodle bombing. Noodle bombing. Oh, God. Do you want to tell that story? I don't know if I want to tell that story again.

I've already told it four times now. But it's better with the accent. Tell it, because I think everybody wants to hear it. I don't think anybody wants to hear it. Oh, you know, they like Marlene.

You've heard it enough by now. You could probably tell it. No, no. No, you've got to do the accent. Come on.

I've got to do the voice? Yeah. All right. It's on the shuttle. It starts off the same.

It's on the shuttle at work. And there was this redneck bitch and her friend, and they were talking. So this is the conversation I heard. She's like, so... We were at the Kenny Chesney concert.

They were tailgating. We didn't go into the show. We stayed out in the parking lot tailgating. And we were drinking, but we forgot our beer bong. So we were out there, and we had a pool noodle.

So we were beer bonging with a pool noodle. And there was this guy. He was driving around on one of those little golf carts. He was recording everybody, so they could put it on TV. And he drove by, and he recorded us with our noodle bong.

We were like, whoo, we're from Indiana. Oh, my God. I was like, oh, God. Oh, my God. I think the story gets better every time I tell it to add new stuff.

Oh, wow. Noodle bombing. Noodle bombing. Noodle bombing. Yeah, and that's what now represents Indiana out there.

Yikes. I have nothing to do with them. Me neither, and I'm from Indiana. No, I'm not claiming Indiana. At least she wasn't in a garbage can when she did it.

Yeah, right? That's Clarksville specifically. Clarksville. No, seriously. There was a little girl swimming in a metal garbage can.

It wasn't really swimming so much as bobbing up and down. She wasn't a small child. She was probably about 12. Oh, God. You can't do laps in a trash can.

Metal trash can. Nice and rusty. Oh, my God. She's dead from tetanus now. Yeah, right?

It's okay to laugh at her. She's dead. She got the Tetris now. Yeah, I'm sure her parents referred to it as that. Oh, goodness.

Can't believe Tetris killed our little girl. What the hell was that, guys? Damn you, Russians. Damn, so weird. It's killed her.

At a Kenny Chesney concert. And I just thought that's the only way you can say... Kenny Chesney concert. I believe so. It's a Kenny Chesney concert.

The week before I was making fun of the girls from Sugar Land. I didn't know what was playing that night. Were they opening for Kenny Chesney? Yeah, I just knew it was somebody that brought in all the girls in the denim skirts and the boots. I was just like, oh, God.

Oh, the Hustle Cowgirls? I was like, yeah, they were all wearing that outfit. I was just like, why? It's the replacement for the mullet now. Either it's the denim skirt or the cut-off jeans with the pockets hanging out of them, which is what my dad actually wears. yeah his black socks and his combat.

Boots this is a nice look oh wait no that's his chest. This is the cover of gq next month. My mom's like oh stop it mowing the yard like that so i think she hired somebody to mow our yard now. Just so he didn't have to look. At him yeah exactly i don't know That's harsh.

Wow. There's the blue jean shorts or the denim skirt with the cowboy boots look. Yep. Modern country. Horrible.

Usually accompanied by either a wife beater or a halter top or something kind of along the same lines. Cowboy hat, optional. Which, good, many of them had it. But usually one beer in hand, sometimes two, and a lot of, whoo! A lot of that.

We really need to stop modern country music. Yes, please. It's bringing down the whole world. I'm pretty sure. All righty then.

That is the key to the apocalypse. Yeah, it opens the seventh seal. I believe it does. Yes, it does. It will bring on the plague.

Kenny Chesney opened the seventh seal. Kenny Chesney, come on, sir. Tailgating, doodle-bombing. And then all these locusts came out. I don't know what it was.

All these locusts came down. I was like, dang, y'all, look at all this. What's these frogs doing here? What? Oh, if only you could see the hand motions.

Wow. Kind of like gang signs, but only a really. Convoluted, redneckled version of gang signs. Now you've got to have one elbow up in the air like this and one elbow down like this and you've got to shake your hand. Woo!

Point to your face in a Vogue-ish kind of way. There's not enough Vogue-ing going on these days. Fuck all this Kenny Chesney. We need more Vogue-ing. No, we don't.

We really don't. I should have a visual of me doing that while wearing my Bo-delicious shirt. Bo-delicious. We can get the camera up here, right? It is pretty fucking wicked.

I should have. Wore this when I saw him. He might have ran. Alright, I'm done. That was a lot of talking for me.

I had to make up for the last week not being here. Alright, anything else we need to round out the Geek Week? No. Alright, we will take a break and be back with What's the Bug? But so is his name in the.

Years to buy me. Don't give a fuck about. Fortune and fame. Cause making bad movies is the name of the game. Step one.

Step get about six million bucks. To get some actors. Who don't give a fuck. Get some cameras. HD and 35 milli.

You can always choose later. So why be silly? Got your green screen. Air to frame. Plastic spoons.

Johnny's so sexy. He makes the girls swoon. Lisa's so hot. And Mark's his best friend. 25 sex scenes that seem like they'll never end.

Claude S. Teflonk. It's time to stretch and fetch. See what's cooking at our refreshment counter. You'll find your favorite foods and beverages, plus many new goodies to tempt your appetite and add to your evening's pleasure.

Everything's the finest quality. So treat yourself now. Corona Extra presents the Poets and Pirates Tour, starring Kenny Chesney. Don't miss it Friday, August 29th in the Ford Amphitheater at the Florida State Fairgrounds. Listen.

Do you hear it? It's getting closer. Much closer. Don't be afraid. Be very Very afraid.

I've got a. Message for you. Pray for death. There will be blood. I'm Grey.

Take a journey with me through the dark side of cinema in the Dark Hours Horror Podcast. Find it at thedarkhours.net The Dark Hours. Terror has no shape. Far beyond anything your mind could. Ever conceive.

Hello, this is Sonny Landon, welcoming you to Movie Meltdown. Ah! This is a chopper! The room is in the house. The red dress looks real good on Lisa, even though she's fat as shit.

The room is in the house. Jenny's in the movie, but I don't know why. Totally fucking irrelevant, just like the other guy. He's a psychotherapist in his name. All right, we're back with What's the Buzz?

Groovy. What's the buzz? What is happening? What's going on? All righty.

So, two weeks ago, news broke that 20th Century Fox search for the director of X-Men Origins Wolverine 2 had narrowed down to either Robert Rodriguez. That would be awesome. That would. Hopefully he knows better. Robert Schwinn-Wetke.

He did the red that's coming out next month, which does actually look kind of awesome. Or David Slade, who brought us Twilight Saga Eclipse. Ah, fuck him. But to salvage him 30 days of night as well. Oh, awesome.

30 days of night was just. How did he do both of those? What? How? That's why they brought him in.

He knew he's vampires. He knows all about. Yeah, fucking hell, they don't fucking sparkle. You'd think he would. It's a gateway.

He doesn't care. He went from a little no-budget horror movie to the biggest grossing movie of the week. possibly the series of all times. I mean, shit. That's why all these directors keep coming on board for any of the Twilight shit. It's a cash cow.

Well, and it gets your name up there into the, you know, okay, now I've made a movie that opened at, you know, $ 100 million. So that kind of gets you some doors opened up, I'd say. Of course, it makes us just laugh at you. But anyway, that's a whole different thing. Dude, seriously, fuck Twilight.

So yeah, they're saying the Shwetke guy was considered the likely choice at the time, but now has apparently dropped out. And another director has joined Slade in the running. And yeah, this one is a surprise if you ask me. They say Hugh Jackman recently talked to Darren Aronofsky about directing the Wolverine sequel, which is strange to me. I mean, how do you go to Requiem for a Dream for Wolverine 2?

Yeah, right? I mean, I don't know. That's... Was he doing The Black Swan? Yeah, he just did The Black Swan.

It is... Actually, it premiered this week in Venice, and the critics are kind of, like, really, yeah, getting into it. So that could be a good sign that he's once again put together another good movie, which makes me wonder why is he even considering this? I mean, he's not one... It's not like the other guys that, you know, he needs this to put him up there as a big-name director.

I mean, he already is a big-name director, so why... In a series that's gone this downhill, these last. Maybe he's a nerd. He just has always wanted to do. He thinks he can save this creature.

He's got a vision. They said he'd been trying to do... He was supposed to do Batman Year One and it fell through. He was still... I don't know if the Robocop reboot is completely thrown out.

He's got these super comic book kind of ideas that he wants to do and they all keep falling through. There's a reason they keep falling through. Is this where it's going to end up? Is Wolverine 2? Electric electric boogaloo the musical well hugh jackman is on board it's gonna be dumb so i don't know it's just a weird direction for him so yeah i don't know if they're trying to redeem themselves since the last wolverine went so bad that maybe they want to bring in somebody like aronofsky but um at the same time Are they going to let him do his thing?

Because he has a very specific vision when he goes into these. And him working with big studios, I can't see. I'm assuming they would want to be very controlling with a property as big as Wolverine. Yes. Yeah, I could see them having issues there, too.

I don't know. I just thought that was weird. I'm indifferent about the Wolverine. I didn't see the last movie. You missed nothing.

I haven't either. I watched the X-Men movies. That was about it. I don't remember the third one that well. I don't remember it being awesome.

It went downhill. I don't remember everybody thinking it was good. As they always do. I kind of lost interest, the same thing with I lost interest in Boba Fett and lost interest in Snake Eyes when it all became super hit popular. And everybody loves them.

I liked it better when they were just the kind of obscure, down and dirty, gritty character. Do I still like them? Yeah, I still like them, but not as much. Not as much as people nut over them. Yeah.

God, I wear t-shirts. It looks like Boba Fett. I'm wearing his armor. It's like it's a t-shirt, dude. Yeah.

I've got that on right now. Shut up. What are you trying to say? I wear that every day. I have a friend who has one actually.

All right, so the HBO miniseries The Pacific was nominated for 23 Emmy Awards. Sweet. Never heard of it. And won eight of them this past week. I never saw it.

I want to see it. Apparently, my friend said it was better than Band of Brothers. Which Band of Brothers? Really? It was phenomenal.

See, I still haven't gotten around to watching that. Yeah. That's pretty huge. I need to. I'll put it on our.

List for you. Really? Band of Brothers? Yes. I can let you borrow it.

See, I've got more of a fan of the European front than I. Am of the Pacific Theater, which... I can see the Pacific Theater being a lot more depressing because it was just literally hell on earth for those guys. But more of them I want to see. So the day before all that happened, the news broke that Warner Brothers, a corporate cousin to HBO... has picked up a pitch from the Pacific co-executive producer for a $ 200 million 3D action epic about the Battle of Midway.

Oh, God, I'm going to screw this up. I told you about this. I don't know. It could be cool. Because I had to ask you, what war was that in?

Oh, my God. Really? I don't know if it. Was World War I or II. I don't have all that shit memorized.

I don't know what battle happened during what fucking war. Most people don't. It's either going to be really cool. and historically accurate. I think it could be really cool. Or it's going to be a complete and total flop.

It's going to suck balls. It's going to be like Pearl fucking Harbor. It's going to be like Pearl Harbor. They're going to throw a bunch of fucking modern day cliches and a bunch of fist pumps and stupid. Shit in it.

If they do that. They need to be castrated now if they're going to do that. But if you're going to do that shit, you better do it right and you better do it enough to honor these guys. Yeah, right. See, that's what I think.

I mean, they, they used to do so many of these movies that were big, epic war movies and they were pretty cool and awesome. Especially if you liked, you know, those battle oriented movies. If it's one thing that I liked, it's, it's, it's anything having to deal with World War II. Yeah. You know, I mean, I grew up, I mean, hell, my grandfather and his brothers, they all had something to do with World War II.

One was in the Navy. One was in the army. The other one was in the Marines. I mean, uh, Dad's friend was in the Navy and the Air Force. Simultaneous?

Yeah, actually he did go to the. Navy and then got out of the Navy and went into the Air Force. A lot of these guys were just really just awesome guys. These kind of heroes that you don't have anymore. And those were different wars that we don't even understand.

They were different wars because nowadays wars, you're fighting against this thing yeah fighting against terrorism which can take any shape in any form back then you were fighting against the japanese and. The germans yeah you knew who they are you knew what they look like and you knew you're. Gonna kill them and it was like a bigger thing too like now it's it's like this muddled mess of its money and its power and it's all this where it was just evil man i mean world war ii was good versus evil especially looking back at it now we see that but even then everybody was kind of like this is wrong and we have to stop it. It's the last real war we had where we were like, there's no, you know, gray area.

It's cut and dry. This has to be stopped. So, I mean, it was a more innocent era because you had that. It's like, we don't have that take now. All we have now is like, this sucks.

And, you know, our guys are getting killed and everybody wants to argue about who's right and who's wrong and where the funding's going and stupid shit like that. Whereas like, I'm too worried about killing civilians now. Back then, we would. Have just wiped all that shit out. Nuke them.

That's what I say. Seriously, if this problem had happened 50 years ago, that would have been the solution. We would have been okay with it. Take them out. They've been done a long time ago.

I would like to see this movie. I would like to see it. Take a cue from Battlefield 360. I think it's on the History Channel or Military Channel. Or Dogfights, which they did also for battleships and stuff.

Them fighting, which. If you did it in any way, shape, or form like that, reenactments like. That, then it would be badass. Because I'd love any of those. That's what I was thinking.

I mean, they used to do so many of those, and it's like they just kind of stopped. I mean, granted, it's a new several generations now that probably aren't into it the same level they used to be. But, I mean, the closest thing we had was Pearl Harbor, and that was crap. Absolutely. I mean, yeah, it's like I would like.

What are you talking about? That was awesome. Jesus. Kubo. Michael Bay.

If anything, they really need to have a lot of veterans sitting at, well, there's not a whole lot. Yeah, they're running out at this point. Which is sad, you know, because these are old guys that I grew up with, you know, that were around my friends' grandfathers and guys. That hung around the garage, you know. Jeez.

I mean, I guess that's why I'm so interested in that time period. But, yeah, they really need to do this right. Yeah, that's what I think would be cool. But what are the chances of that happening? Yeah, very slim.

Miracles can happen. But, again, they're on board with HBO in some way, shape, or form, which has, I mean, after Bands of Brothers, they really did sort of put a lot of heart into it and try to make it something legit. So let's hope they go that route and not the Michael Bay bullshit. I don't think it's my fault that I didn't know which war... Adal Midway was in.

I'm not as interested in that stuff. It's not you. Again, most people don't at this point. I mean, I know it was in one of the world wars. That Vietnam.

The Crimean War. That's the Ho Chi Minh. So two of the most wanted and busiest actors in Hollywood are, and they pretty much are, back and forth who gets the next leading role, Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper. Hmm. So they are now attached to co-star together in an untitled buddy cop action movie.

Oh, God. Another buddy cop. I fucking hate buddy cop movies. Wait a minute. Are these two white guys?

Yes. Then it's not going to work. And Wyrm's not a dog either. You can't have two white. Guys be a buddy cop movie.

It's got to be either one. It's got to be a black guy and a white guy or a black guy and a Chinese guy or a white guy and a Chinese guy. Or a dog. Or a dog. Or a dog.

Or maybe a, I don't know, a fucking. A macaw. A Russian guy and a Mexican guy. Or a chick. Or a chick.

Wacky. Yeah. Or a wacky Russian chick that's from Mexico. Then it'll work. Hold on.

Russian chick from Mexico? Yeah. What? She moved. She moved.

That's allowed. What, like it's not possible? Well, how did anybody move to Mexico? Wow. So they could cross the border.

We'll get to that later. The project got its start five years ago under the title Blowback as a potential vehicle starring Dwayne, back then The Rock, Johnson. And the story follows two friends who are San Francisco cops whose fathers are also partners in the department and who are forced out of retirement to help their sons crack a particularly tough case. This sounds great. Mm-hmm.

Wackiness sounds like it will try to ensue. Yeah. There's no word on who will play their dads. So, darn. I can't wait.

Shatner. Let's go with Shatner. He's a dad now. He's a dick. I just like that that's how they're billing that new commercial.

It's like, but he can't handle fatherhood. So, picture him as your dad. As dicks go. Yeah. That's what she said.

But anyways, I mean, I love him as a performer and everything. He's an actor, but as a person, he seems kind of like an asshole. Yeah, kind of. I still watch him. Shit, I don't care.

Funny as hell. Yeah, I don't know. So, yeah, it says there's no director, so we don't know anything else other than Ryan Reynolds and Bradley Cooper. God. So, yeah.

I was kind of hoping Ryan Reynolds would have raised above this already. He's actually making a career for himself. Why would he stick back down to this level? I mean, he was doing good. I think that's still his audience, though.

His audience is people that liked him in the pizza place. Two guys, a girl, and a pizza place. I love that show, dude. Dork. He's a dork for being in it.

Then he got changed to two guys and a girl, and they dropped. A pizza place. Yeah, because that just took up too much of the bill. Yeah. Didn't want to take up.

Fucking long-ass name. Take up the whole TV avenue. People don't have the attention span to read that whole thing. Not nowadays. Just got to shorten it down.

Yeah, right. He had his shirt off in Amityville Horror, though. That was fucking awesome. He was ripped like Jesus. All right, since we brought up The Rock.

So the news is that Dwayne Johnson is returning to action movies, and people were all excited when it was Faster and Fast Five, which I don't even think I realized they were going to try to stick him in Fast Five. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting. The Rock and Fast Five.

What's Fast Five? Next Fast and Furious. Fast and Furious Part 11. Oh, God. How many fucking Fast and Furious movies do we need?

Five, obviously. Apparently. Who fucking cares? It's the same thing. Fast guys with fast cars.

Woo. Driving. Woo. Crazy. But now one of them's Rock and he won't even fit in them cars.

Oh, jeez. Gonna crush the thing. Quit making these dumb movies. Well, no, it gets worse, really. So the fans were excited because he was doing that kind of stuff and trying to get away from silly kids' movies.

Well, this week, Dwayne has signed on with New Line Cinema to star in Journey 2, The Mysterious Island. effectively replacing brendan frazier which i'm all right. With anybody replacing brendan frazier but if he could go back and like retroactively replace him in every movie that's. What i'm thinking could you replace him in the mummy please do the mummy. Films wouldn't he be going against himself yeah technically he was in the second one so it's okay it's okay i mean it was cgi half the time anyway so he could fight himself okay i'm all for that so mysterious island. Yeah this one well it's um let's see where we go yeah journey to mysterious island um although playing a different character than brendan but yeah i'm fine with taking brendan fraser.

Out of the equation the whole deal with this movie it's. Like uh like journey to the center of the earth this sequel is adapted and modernizing another novel from jules verne the mysterious island So, yeah, it's basically they're now saying that they influence for Lost, so they're trying to probably tap into the fact that Lost is over with now, so... When are they. Going to do another Island of Dr. Moreau?

Never. Because that movie sucked. You didn't like that last one. Oh, God. Who did?

When are they going to redo it? Why are you wanting this? I read the fucking story. The story's good. In my imagination.

In my imagination, yeah. But see, that's the thing. They need to make a good movie. Good movies. Have you seen like the Universal?

They did like an Island of Lost Souls or something. There was one that was kind of taken from the same story. It was fairly decent, but. No, I want a good one. I want a really fucking good one.

Not some half-assed, cheesy motherfucker. Well, give me some fucking money and I will. I'll make you a goddamn good fucking movie. Who are you going to put in your movie? Fuck, I don't know.

I'll put some shit. The Rock. I'll put some shit. The Rock. Fucking Rock.

Rock's going to turn into a big cat person. Dog man. Dog guy. Fucking Rock. Dog rock.

Oh my God. The Rockbiter? No. The Rock is The Rockbiter. I'm afraid if they tried to do another Island of Dr.

Moreau at this point, since their go-to is CGI, you would just have nothing but CGI cats and dogs. No, there would be no CGI in my movie. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's why I'm afraid for them to ever do another one. People in cat costumes.

Yeah. Yeah, right. It would be like the Kiss of Cats. Yeah, I was thinking it. Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Island of Dr.

Moreau. Mr. Mistoffelees. Oh, memories. No, it won't be like that.

Oh, shit. But no, there would be no CGI. I'm sorry. It would be a kickback to the good old movies. Little tiny models.

Oh, nice. Stop motion animation. Stop motion cats and dogs. Good stuff. Speaking of which.

I want an epic Indiana Jones adventure-esque type fucking deal. See, and if they did that with The Rock, I'd be okay, actually. Again, I don't complain about him as a leading man. I like him, and I think... Oh, he's good.

He's quirky. Yeah, he's got a good sense of humor, but yet he can play the action stuff, too. So I don't have a problem with him. I have a problem in the crap they keep sticking him in. And the fact that he keeps going along with it, it's like he...

That's one of the main offenders in this, yeah. So that's one of the main things I'm worried about in this is like, He was sort of getting away from that. So, you know, if he could leave the Tooth Fairy behind, he might be okay. See, this is going to destroy him. This is backsliding.

This is the shit that destroyed Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yep. And Vin Diesel. Fucking badass. And he kicked people's asses and shot people and took names and shit like that.

And it's not a tumor came along. It's not a tumor. And Junior. And everything changed. And Twins.

I like Twins. What the fuck? Come on, man. Twins was early on, though. He skated by with Twins.

But everybody's like, oh, we've got to make these action stars seem quirky so that everybody's moms will go see them. And then you get Stop or My Mom Will Shoot, which took down another one. Exactly. There went Stallone. Yep.

What the fuck? It's the pussification of America. stop it stop killing my action. Guys it does suck it's like they don't have a place anymore no like really. They really kind of don't that's why it's weird that we you know fell back into these last couple of weeks of cool movies again because. Spendables but still it's too late for some of these guys yeah you know i mean granted that.

Maybe jet lee didn't do a buddy cop film uh did. He He's in Lethal Weapon, doesn't that count? No. He was the bad guy in Lethal Weapon, though. But he was in a buddy cop movie.

I don't think Jason Statham never fell into that category. Yeah, when's the romantic comedies with him kicking off? But, you know. Katherine Heigl and Jason Statham. Oh, fuck her.

Stupid names. God, I hate her. He'll be the new boy. You know what I mean? They kill off our action stars.

They kill them off. That's what I'm saying. How long till they try to stick Danny Trejo in a fucking movie? Danny, do not do it. Please don't do it.

For the love of God. Just say no, little bonkhead. Don't do it. So, yeah, I think from Barack standards, this is like moving backwards for him. Or worse, it's falling into the footsteps of Brendan Fraser, who completely killed his career doing that kind of shit.

He's doing, you know, Crazy Animal. What the fuck was that thing called? He's had a fucking shitty career in the first place. Yeah. Because I hate Brendan Fraser and his stupid face.

Encino Man was great, but after that, it went all downhill. Yes, it did. Because he's terrible. He is. God.

Punch him in his face. I don't want to like him. No, I don't. You don't want to like him. I don't want to like him at all.

You all made me fucking watch that movie in Chicago. God, I was pissed. What was this? The Mummy. The Mummy.

They made me watch The Mummy in Chicago. Was this last? When I was asleep? It was The Mummy 3. Thank God I was asleep.

You were asleep. Me and Johnny were staying up and watching it and making fun of it. See, I like The Mummy. You were asleep. I saw some of it.

You saw some of it. We were sitting there making fun of it the whole time. I mean, I was like, the idea of The Mummy, I hated that he was in it. Yeah. I was like, i wish they would have taken better writers and a better crew you know crew of people and actually made get rid of but i didn't like that chick either and i was like he replaced both of them get some better writing in there and it would have been you know it wanted to be a knockoff indiana jones anyway So just make it, you know, a full-on cool action-adventure movie and not stupid.

You know how many Indiana. Jones knockoffs came out during Indiana Jones? A lot. Alan Quatermain and the last. Of the Sullivan's gold mines.

Of such and such. There was fucking tons of them. Yep. There was Romancing the Stone. There was all types of those things.

They were all tapping in and we went for a long time and didn't have that. And that's why mummy felt like it was that return to that. They were trying to get back into that, but they put Brendan Fraser in the middle of it. And the writing was so stupid that I was just like, you've got a good budget it's like why not do something useful with this and not just make another dumb movie it's like they had kind of cool special effects at the time now they look dated very quickly but that was you know one of the first big cgi movies that they made. Use of and i love egypt stuff egyptology yeah anything having to do with fucking mummies and pyramids.

Oh, that's the hottest porn ever. Fucking mommies. It's hot. Actually, I think there is a porn for it. Oh, yeah.

But anyway. Mommies unwrapped. Yeah, when you're going at it and your leg breaks off. That is so hot. Anyway.

So, yeah, I don't know. This is just, yeah, for him, this is moving backwards. And they're saying that the other downside of this is the, let's see. The creative people involved are best known for the sequel of the Cats and Dogs, The Revenge of Kitty Galore. Oh, good God.

You know it's going to suck. So, yeah. This is what I'm saying. I'm going to watch this shit, too, because I got a kid. This is right up there with Tooth Fairy.

I mean, it's that kind of stupid writing. So, yes. It's written for, like, four-year-olds. Yeah. And even four-year-olds are smarter than that these days.

So stop playing down to them. Yeah. Quit it. Yeah. So please, Dwayne, get the hell.

Out of these movies. That's all I'm saying. Eject, eject. I know there's one sequel I'm ready for, whether it's going to suck or not. They're working on the fifth Final.

Destination movie, and they have the big tragedies already revealed as to what their big catastrophe. Is going to be. What kills them all. Suspension bridge. I'm still waiting for the boat, though.

The boat's going to be awesome whenever the boat happens. When did the boat get rolled out? That was supposed to be for the third one. Yeah. It was supposed to be the third or fourth one was supposed to be the boat, but now that's not going to happen.

But, yeah, next one's supposed to be Suspension Bridge. So I'm waiting for it. It's going to be in 3D, I'm hoping. I'm sure. Because you know those cables are going to be snapping at your ass.

I mean, they made so much money on the last one, and it was retarded, too. So, I mean, how could they not cash in on more 3D? Because as bad as they are, I always look forward to the Final Destination movies. They're fun. They're fun.

Horrible they're terrible yeah but they're fun. I love fun bad movies i hate bad bad movies but i love fun bad movies and these are so fucking fun the first one was legitimately awesome the first. One was actually awesome i actually have respect. For the first movie the first one was trying to do something different than the other ones and it. Did it fairly well yeah And then the second one comes along and it's like, eh, we're getting a little bit more jokey with ourselves.

That's the third one. Third one, it's just like out the window. Yeah, the second one's pretty damn jokey as it is. But still, they're fun. And I like a movie that doesn't take itself too fucking seriously when it's that kind of movie.

Yep. I love them. I don't care. I'll watch Final Destination 18. I don't care.

That's what I'm wondering is when they quit making tons of money at the box office, which it's sad that they still do. if they're going to hit the like direct to DVD, if there really is going to be like part seven. Yeah. The final destinations, whatever. I was going to say, as long as they still have, um, Saw. Saw.

As long as they keep making Saw movies and people keep seeing them, I think Final Destination is quite safe. I think they're pretending like this is the end, isn't it? I don't believe them. I mean, yeah, The Final Destination was the end, too, but here we are at number five. See, that's the thing.

I'm happy about this. Usually sequels, I'm like, dude, fuck a sequel. Final Destination, you just. Keep on bringing it. You bring it.

I want to see Bloodscore. I want to see ridiculous Beyond Belief deaths. They're fun. I'm okay. Well, speaking of Beyond Belief, M.

Night Shyamalan. So whatever the majority of M. Night Shyamalan film, whatever you think of the majority of M. Night Shyamalan's films, the movie that is often singled out as being his best, most narratively successful, at least definitely since that first one, would be Unbreakable. That's actually a cool movie and was really trying to do something different.

They're citing it as sort of taking a different look at superhero genre before heroes and Hancock and kick-ass and all these that try to sort of play on that same thing. This was doing it well before that. So that's, you know, that was kind of cool and different at the time. Well, now it said that, uh, or originally they'd said at the time, M if you will, had envisioned. Stand for.

Mill house. Monkey. I don't really know. He might've made it up. Who knows?

So Emma envisioned that Unbreakable was the first of a trilogy following Willis' character. And for the last nine years, fans have been like, dude, where's part two? And quit making this other crap. So instead, he's been making, you know, The Happening and Last Airbender and not giving us, you know, the only thing that he did that was kind of cool. I wish Willis was going to be too old for any of these movies.

So now, yeah, once again, he's gotten away from that idea and he started producing The Night Chronicles. which he's basically giving these story ideas to new directors and seeing what they do with them since he can't do anything anymore. Since he can't do shit with them. So the first of which I guess he is kicking off because the devil is part of the Night Chronicles now. So now they're saying it is revealed that he's actually taking the villain and the idea for what would have been Unbreakable 2 and rewritten it instead into the third Night Chronicles movie. Okay.

The Night Chronicles movie will be called 12 Strangers and is about a jury dealing with a case involving the supernatural. M. Night went on to say that originally this villain was supposed to be an unbreakable, but he removed the character to avoid having too many villains in one movie like Batman and X-Men and basically like every freaking superhero movie does. So, I don't know. To me, it's like... let's take what probably could have been a good followup movie and destroy it.

Yeah. And rip it up into pieces and then make a bunch of crappy little movies that you're going to give to other directors anyway. He's just greatly overrated and just needs to stop. He's lost his damn mind is what he's done. So I don't know.

I just thought that was weird that he's taking his idea, breaking it up into pieces and now handing it out to other, yeah, other up and coming directors that are probably going to completely eclipse them. Yeah. Whatever. Nutty. I don't know.

Makes no sense to me. I like my story better. Which one of yours? Oh, I was just talking about the story of Final Destination. My buzz was better than your buzz.

Fucking much, I mean. Alright, well, let's go out with yours then. Are you good, man? Do another one. No.

Come on, you're loaded up with good buzz. Let's go. No, I'm good. I've used up all my good buzz. All my buzz is gone.

Slacker ass slacker. I am a slacker ass slacker. Here's my buzz. Uh-oh. I don't know.

Fucking hell, what's the name of that damn movie? God, I hate it when I go blank because it's really not a lot of shit going on in my brain. Give me something to go on. Space Nazis. Scott.

Iron Scott. Iron Scott. Thank you. Thank you. Iron Scott.

Yay! When the hell is that coming out? I'm tired of waiting for it. Never, because nobody will finance it. Oh, come on.

Bastard. How can nobody finance Space Nazis? Because it's a comedy. The fuck? It's a romantic comedy.

Yes, it is. Yeah, there's no Katherine Heigl in it. What is your deal with Katherine Heigl? She's in every god-awful movie they make now. God, I hate her.

She's a bitch. Have you not seen every new trailer that comes out? If it's even close to a romantic comedy, damn if they haven't jammed her in there. They'll make this movie, damn it. They'll make Space Nazis because they're going to go outside of Hollywood.

Fuck Hollywood. Fuck Hollywood. Because Hollywood doesn't want to make it. They want to see the films they want to see, which is stupid, idiotic films. With Katherine Heigl.

With Katherine Heigl. I want to fucking see Space Nazis. You're all worked up today, sir. I do. I want to see Space Nazis.

You are just all kinds of. I want to see us kicking Space Nazi ass. You've got fire in your pants today, sir. They do need to go outside of the system. If anything, we learned from Kick-Ass.

They were unconventional and they went, okay, fuck this. They went to independent people and went, back our movie. I'm tired of this fucking bullshit. Fucking make the same old fucking goddamn shit all the time. I'm fucking tired of it.

I want to see some new fucking movies. Did you not get enough caffeine today? I got plenty of caffeine. Maybe that's the problem. A little too much.

I don't know. Get the hell out of me. I was doing research on Nazi occultism last night, so that's. Probably what got me wound up about it. It's all jazz.

I just, that and World War II movies and And what we're talking about as far as like having an actual evil to fight against. Yeah. We don't have that anymore. Who the fuck's evil? You don't know.

No. You don't know. Just individuals. Yeah, just individuals like, oh, the Islam extremists are evil. But then you've got other Muslims that aren't evil, but they're just Muslims.

And you're like, what the hell, man? Who the fuck's evil? We've got plenty of evil people in this country, too. But they're not together as one big force of fucking evil walking across the earth ready to take over and kill it. Everybody.

They don't care. You don't have that anymore. No, you don't. That's not how warfare happens. You're too worried about offending everybody.

Now you can't have one enemy without worrying about offending somebody. Well, everybody's got to look into the backstory of the enemy. Why are they the enemy? Why are the Nazis bad? Why are the Nazis bad?

Who fucking cares? They're evil. Let's do that. Let's look into it. They're space Nazis.

They're coming to get us. They're coming to get you. They're going to take over the world. Let's have a nice look back at Hitler and see what made him such a wacky guy. Nobody bought his artwork that's.

The problem see if you guys would have just given him like 40 bucks for some sort of crappy artwork and we would have not had world war. Ii i still can't find that fucking shirt what apparently there's a t-shirt it's got a picture of hitler with a kitten and says think about all the good things hitler did. That's awesome. It's just offensive. In our usual PC mode, that's awesome.

I love things that are offensive. Well, you love me. I don't care. I don't get offended about things. I think we're all quite.

I've had people say all kinds of shit to me about all kinds of things, and I don't get offended by it because it's just whatever. I'm pretty hard to offend. I'm all like, yeah, whatever, man, you know. That's just why I say adorable, horrible things. I assume everybody else is too.

Then I learn the hard way. Oh, sorry. All right. I think on that note, we should round out the first half of the show. Yes.

I can't breathe. Let's round it out. All right. So we will wrap things up here and invite you to come back and join us as we head out on the town this week. Leave out of the bright sunlight and go out into the world.

It's kind of scary, so. Am I going to have to be near people? Well, at least the temperature will be mild. No, because it's Sunday. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

Unless I'm going to sit next to you. Yeah, and it's early showing, which means there will probably be only a handful of people in the theater. No drunken people throwing glass bottles? No, that's late. Breaking shit.

All the, you know, grandmas going out to see Machete. Good lord, I got to, never mind. So, yes, come back and join us for this. Week's We love that dandy trail. This week's out of the town feature, Machete.

Machete. Or Machete. Machete. Fuck your scam. Come back and join us.

Yay! You're the love of my life, but it cuts like a knife. And I feel that I'm being misled. See, I'm a little concerned, for I recently learned of the swastika. Tattoo on your head.

And it makes you smile when you hear Zeke Heil. You love the smell of. A burning cross in the yard. Do goose-step salutes in your Doc Martin boots And you quoted Mein Kampf in our fifth anniversary card I think you're a Nazi, baby Are you a Nazi? You might be a Nazi, baby You keep extensive files on the Nuremberg trials And you watch them whenever they're airing I guess I should have known when you bought a new bone For your puppies named Goebbels and Gehring You showed up late to our very first date I said, how are you?

You said, white power Call me paranoid, but I'm not overjoyed When you ask me if I want to shower I think you're a Nazi Don't be lyin', baby Are you a Nazi? Are you anti-Zion, maybe? Every dress is monogram SS. You hold an Aryan picnic and bash. And it makes me irate when you say I look great when I wear a little tiny mustache.

Your social politics say that races don't mix and you. Call it pure blood pollution. And whenever I'm sad, you say it's not so bad. For every problem, there's a final solution. I think you're a Nazi.

Give me an answer, baby Are you a Nazi? You drive a f * * * ing Panzer. Baby. You say that love is blind So how could I have guessed? But then again I met you at the Wagner Fair I know you're a Nazi, and that's why I'm leaving.

I know you're a Nazi, sure as my name is Steven Lynch Bergstein. What is in this mysterious package? Is the wizard finally to come into the open? Be sure to see Robin Meets the. Wizard, Chapter 8 of Batman and Robin, at this theater next week.

This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, with opening music performed by The Empires. To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.