97.2: Shartopus Clambake

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. It's showtime, folks! Enjoy the show! This is Roger Corman and you're listening to Movie Meltdown.

It's time for Sofa Theater. Sofa Theater. Welcome to Moving Out Down the Sofa Theater. Once again, I am Brian. I'm Joni.

I'm Misty. I'm Marlena. Our chick ratio has gone even more up because Roger is a... We killed Roger during Sharktopus. He got eaten by the Sharktopus.

Yeah. We threw him in there to distract Sharktopus so he could get away. He died nobly, really. Pit of a fight. But it's okay, because as he got eaten, we yelled out, Woo!

As long as you scream when they get attacked, it makes it, you know, they die, you know, nobly. Or have that dunk on the look like that one guy did. Mark. No. He, like, drops the football and just staring at me.

What? What's going on, guys? Your friend just got ate. Run the fuck away. So it had nothing to.

Do with the Sharktopus Clambake. Let's throw them down here. We've now had crab, lobster, clams, shrimp, calamari, and to round it out in our truly classy nature, fish sticks. I like fish sticks. Honestly, I personally am a pissy little bitch when it comes to my food, so I only had the fish sticks and the breaded shrimp because I only like shrimp or most fish if I can't actually see what it looks like.

I'm sure everyone's shocked by the fact that you're a pissy little bitch. I know. They all am, whatever. But I'll have you know, I did specifically get Gordon fish sticks. Trust the Gordon's Fisherman.

Not even that. My reasoning behind it is the Gordon's Fisherman looks like the killer, and I know what. You did last summer. That's what I was thinking. So that's my movie geek reasoning when I go shopping for food as well.

I've done the. Same thing before. And I thought that, and I know what you did. I'm like, it was the Gordon's Fisherman? You did it.

I knew it. Trust the Gordon's Fisherman, seriously. To ram a hook through your middle. Fish sticks are really Tara Reid. Whoever the hell was in that movie.

Not Tara Reid. I don't know. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Sarah Michelle Gellar, Frank Rich Jr., and Brian Felipe. Although it does look like fish stick-sized things are missing from her stomach.

I think he took little pieces out and turned them into. Tara Reid's the one from American Pie. You know, I was thinking Urban Legend. Yeah, she's not in that either. Yeah, she is in that one.

She's the DJ. Yeah, she's in that one, and the killer kind of looks like the Gordon's Fisherman in that one as well. I was just wrong. Rebecca Gayhart looks like the Gordon's Fisherman. She's got the big thing.

We are totally going to win her over as a guest on the show, I'm telling you. Rebecca Gayhart? Yeah. So are you loaded up on fish products? I am all fishy.

I'm in fish coma. I think that's why my line is going to throw up here in a little bit. Possibly. But it had nothing to do with killing Roger, because he didn't even have any by the time he got killed. Yeah, this is true.

He did eat some of the shrimp, though, which is really good. The shrimp was delicious. All right. This week's... It was fucking awesome what this movie was.

So if a theater feature is. Fucking awesome. Shark to Paws! The year is 2010. The director is Declan O'Brien, who we got to hang out with sort of via television.

Did we? In between, in our little cutaways during. Commercial there, they brought him in towards the end, which was kind of fun. The plot, according to IMDb, it doesn't have one. What does that tell you?

The movie's that fucking awesome. It's pretty accurate. Yeah, we can make up our own. If you cross a shark with an octopus, you get one badass monster. And then there's Eric Roberts!

Who's awesome! I love him! I love him! So, spoiler alert, if you don't have cable and you didn't just watch Sharktopus, that's your own fault. So, We're telling you now.

Lord knows what we're going to say. But I'm not sure you can spoil it as we are covered with machete there. Not sure it can be spoiled, but here we go. Where would you like to begin? I don't even know.

It's just so awesome. Start at the very beginning. That's a very good place to start. This movie had some of my favorite movie quotes ever, but I can't even remember what they are. That's how awesome they were.

Tequila's on you guys, and I'm thirsty. Well, she kind of had a weird lisp going on, too. It was like, and I'm super thirsty. I'm super thirsty. Super thirsty guy.

Yeah. Not this way. That's my favorite. I think that killed, definitely, amongst all of them, because it looks so bad. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Not like this. God, that was awesome. The poor painter. Was he a painter?

I thought they were just beach bums, like, sitting on a little skiffle, skiff thing. What are those fucking things? Scaffold? Scaffold thing. Scaffolding.

Skiffle. Skiffle. Skiffle and Ollie. I like skittles. I wish we had some skittles.

Skittles would have been nice. Well what i think is is funny is like they as per usual in this type of movie they waste no time like right off the bat and number one you get a kill which that doesn't surprise me but they don't even set up this situation it's just like there he is it's already going on they're already like mid-sentence on talking about you know where uh the blue waters are corporation running things and the the s11 and they're just like midway into this conversation you're like wait Wait, what? Okay. Well, there's killing. I like killing.

They just don't set up anything. They just throw you into it. Are you complaining? I mean, seriously. I mean, you don't need that much set up for a shark to puss movie.

Obviously not. They could have wasted a half an hour with all kinds of their research and backstory, but. It's not necessary. Yeah. They talk too much anyway.

Kind of, yeah. I mean, I like backstory most of the time, but this is one of those, it's not really, yeah, no, just. Fucking killing people. I don't know. I wanted more sex, really.

There was no sex in this movie whatsoever. Not at all. Even the lead guy didn't get to make out with any chicks whatsoever. And all the, like, hot girls on the beach were scary looking, especially that one with the horse face and the skinnyness. And the bathing suit?

Oh, yeah. The one that had the horse voice. She said something that was really awesome, but I can't remember what it was. Her mouth was too big. Oh, yeah, right.

There's fish in there or something like that. It's because swimming in the ocean... No, there it is. Oh my god, they're fishing there. God, that was awesome, too.

Yeah, their writing in this is kind of scary. I mean, it's a list. I think it was intentional, which I really appreciate. Somewhat? I don't know.

It's questionable. But I was kind of let down, though, because I figured if they're going to make it as cheesy as Sharktopus, I figured it'd be just a little bit more over-the-top cheesy. I expected just a little bit more. Kind of. I'm along.

I mean, I definitely had a lot of fun with it, but... I think it exists in that level, and I guess, I don't know. I guess we can go in, because we got a few responses online, so I think I can reference them and then go. Into what I think some of my issues were. So we got a few of your two cents here, but we can go with the, as usual, naked Eskimo coming through here.

His response is, he starts off with, kind of sucked. It had fun moments. It wasn't much better than the rest of SyFy's brand of low-rent creature features. I thought the design on the creature itself was amazing, and some of the CGI looked damn good, but for the most part, I was. Trying not to fall asleep.

He says, Corman didn't even direct it, which I thought was the big selling point. Oh, well. I watched the first ten minutes of Dino Croc vs. Super Gator, and I kind of want to watch that one now. Dude, that movie's fucking awesome.

I love Dino Croc vs. Super Gator. I started watching that one afterwards, too. The Australian guy, or is he called the Australian or whatever? I believe so.

God, he was hot. But that's what I remember. I think that's part of this is, like, it borrows so much from all these other sci-fi type movies. And I guess, I mean, they're all stealing from movies, you know, knockoff Jaws movies they've been making since the 70s anyway. But then, like, once sci-fi got a hold of that brand, it's like they went to town.

So really, like, it's set up. It's like sci-fi exploitation. Yeah, kind of. And it just follows, like, the, you know, the normal pattern of what you're supposed to do in one of these movies. Because to me, yeah, they brought in, like, Navy SEAL boy was sort of like the, what.

Did we just call him? The Australian guy? There you go. But no, that to me, it's following that kind of thing where it's like the Navy SEAL boy is supposed to be like the hunter that they bring in. So it's kind of like the Australian guy.

And, So it follows that same basic pattern and doesn't really stray from it too much. This one, to me, wins a little bit more just because the monster is so much more awesome than light. It's more ridiculous. That's what makes it more awesome is the fact that it's more ridiculous. I mean, again, it didn't quite deliver on some of the other ridiculous storylines, but on the monster, I think it did.

It's like. It works on that level. So I mean the other the dinosaur version and the super Gator They're just like bigger versions or Jurassic Park stuff We've seen before this one is so ridiculous and so like morphed into its own little thing that that part's kind of awesome. I do like. And some of the CGI, it went back and forth.

I like how the scale of Sharktopus kept changing. There was this one scene where her foot barely fit in his mouth, or his foot. And the next scene, he's, like, eating a fucking boat. And I'm like, what the hell? Just step out of it.

What? He's like one of those little grow sharks that you find at the Dollar Tree. Yeah, that's big. Yeah, the longer he's in water. So later, it was just later in the story, and he could eat a boat.

I didn't like that the fucking shark looked incomplete through half of it. They didn't bother to put any kind of like. texture on the. Shark it just looked like glossy like it was a fucking plastic toy it looked awesome as far as the big fucking sharktopus but still it didn't look complete it looked like they just like oh well it's gonna be ridiculous anyway so there you go especially in the closer shots. Yeah, just the closer shots, it was really... There were a few that I was like, what was that big balloon animal that was up on the street?

I like that his tentacles had spears on them. That was nice. That's handy for killing people. I really kind of wanted. Them to have, like, eyes or maybe little shark heads on their tentacles.

We could do a puppet show. Yes. Shark to puppet show. Shark to puppet show. Well, think about it.

I mean, if you're going to kill something, it would be great to have. You could sneak up on them that way because you could put the little puppet up on one side of the boat and start going, hi. How's it going? And then attack from the other side. Exactly.

I want a movie like that. Come on, sci-fi. Why didn't you contact me? You're really letting us down here. There's always room for a sequel.

Sharktopus 2, Electric Boogaloo. It'll be out in about six months. Yes. I'll wait right down. I just love Eric Roberts so much.

So much. He's... He's there. He's definitely doing the best acting in this movie, but that's not saying much. I mean, that's probably the most glaring, noticeable thing in this movie.

The acting is terrible. And watching it, it does make you sort of appreciate regular movies because... Yeah, there's some horrible, horrible performances along the way. I think even he kind of gave up halfway through after he's been drinking for a while. I think he's probably actually drinking.

That scene where he's just like, I can't even do it, the whole thing. He just sort of throws his arms up. He's like, I don't know, fuck it. How much more do we have to shoot. On this thing?

Are we done? No, that's actually an outtake. They just accidentally slipped in there. Well, I'm sure, much like in the Dino Croc vs. Super Gator when we had Carradine, I'm pretty sure a lot of this was shot in an afternoon.

Because you'll notice, other than the beginning and the end, he's not around anybody else the whole damn movie. It's like he's just on the boat in that one room with that one guy. So it's like I'm sure they shot all of that as quickly as possible and maybe paid him for, like, another day to do those other things. I mean, I'm sure his stuff was very isolated and quickly gotten out of the way. I mean, what else is he doing these days?

He's in real movies, though. That's what's weird is that he's in this, but, I mean. I know he ended up right. I hear him video once. He was.

He was. But I mean, he was just in like Dark Knight. I mean, he's in like some of the biggest movies around now. Was he in Dark Knight? He's in Dark Knight, I think.

Who was he in Dark Knight? He's like the drug kingpin guy. And he's one of the criminals. Oh, yeah, he's like Tricone or whatever his name is. And I think, was he in Expendables this year?

I mean, he's in like big budget stuff. He should be. He's a Roberts, goddammit. There's only so long you can coast on that name. No, you can coast on that until you fucking die.

Only Julia. And we'll see how Emma does. I don't know. He dropped off pretty damn quick, because as soon as she came along, his career took a nosedive. I don't understand.

I'm not a big Julia Roberts fan. Maybe it's like Highlander rules. Maybe there can be only one Roberts. Yeah, I guess so. And one day, Emma will have to chop off Julia's head to take over.

And we will all wait patiently for that day. There can be only one. Yeah, I don't care. I mean, I appreciate her as an actress, but yeah, she's not like. My favorite person in the world.

I'm hit and miss. Like, there's some old stuff that, yeah, I was a sucker for. But, yeah, as time went on, she's done some weird. Stupid stuff she does now. Yeah.

Like that fucking Valentine's movie and that eat, pray. Queef, whatever. Yes, that's exactly what it was. That was a spoof on South Park. Based on the number one telling book of the same name.

I didn't just pull that out of the air. It was on South Park. But, yeah. Ugh. Oh, I'm so loaded with fish that I can't think properly.

I want to go to sleep right now. I'm so tired. I feel like Roger. Dead because he got eaten by a shark. Well, previous live Roger.

Sleepyhead Roger. It's so funny. He can fall asleep in the weirdest places. So, I don't know. I think in the setup, I think what this movie excels at, probably more than any of the other sippy features, is the setup and delivery.

It has just countless scenes of clueless tourists and yokels going, you know, with this setup of like 30 seconds of them living their happy little lives and going on about their vacationings. And then dying horribly. Ziplining and bungee jumping, and they're just, wee! It's the greatest life in the snap. To carry on the problem that we had that we were discussing earlier, someone whose name I won't mention said, as one of the people was ziplining over a pretty stream in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, this person said, They make Mexico seem so nice.

Why the hell did they all want to come up here? Call me out. You called yourself out. I did not name you. No one could have pieced that together.

Me at all joni roger right before he died. It's a good thing he's dead now that was horrible. Xenophobic thing to say he's sour in shark to puss's stomach. Roger is such a racist bastard. And that and that's why shark to puss sought him out.

It's true, he had a purpose. He does. Sharktopus kills for equality. Equal killing for equal victims. Oh, God.

But, again, I mean, this is a movie that's all about the kills, obviously, and I think that is where it excels. It really does, like. As bad as it is, I will be the first to say the acting's terrible. The writing is horrendous, at least dialogue-wise. Acting?

What are you talking about? That mouth actor was awful. Oh, that guy. The guy with the Sharpie tattoos? Wow.

Those teeth were pretty jacked up. Yes! But his Sharpie tattoos, seriously, hand to God. They look like they were scribbled on there beforehand. They're like tic-tac-toe on his hand or something.

That's the thing. I wish people would learn how to do fake tattoos that didn't look like fake tattoos. Like every movie I see that's not like super high budget. It's so bad. Like, it's just.

It's like pulled it out of a Cracker Jack box and licked your arm and stuck it on there bad. That's cooler. That's way cooler, actually, than his Sharpie business going on in here. Because, yeah, those are bad. But I think the only thing that trumps the Sharpie tattoos is the face acting.

And the thing is, the guys... Like, by the end of it, I was just laughing. I was like, show another scene with him. Show another one. Because.

I mean, his delivery is always bad, but he does this open mouth, staring, twisting his face. It's the weirdest behavior I think I've. Seen, well, since probably the last sci-fi movie, but, oh, man. I kept finding myself trying to contort my face to look like his as I was watching it. Like, how do I do that?

It's the weirdest thing. Once again, for the home gang, you can't see what I'm doing. She's contorting, don't you worry. Are we all still in our bikinis like we were earlier? Yeah.

Oh, I'm not. Uh-oh. This is a party. I was promised champagne. No, I'm just kidding.

Only in the champagne room. Oh, Chris Rock. Short to push to Chris Rock. Whoa. But as far as being, you know, all about the kills, it really is like these kind of movies.

That's kind of what you wait for. But, you know, versus the other ones, the Dino Croc movies or any of that, it's like to me, this one kind of one ups it and you get that out of it. You're not going to get, you know, the acting and dialogue, but you get what you really kind of go in for on this one, which is. Just setting up these ridiculous situations. You get a guy getting his head ripped off by a tentacle for God's sake.

He's having these stupid characters that you really don't like anyway, and then watching them die horribly, and in funny ways, because that's the thing. As silly as this is, I probably laughed more watching it than most comedies I've seen. In a long time. To me, this is way more of a comedy that I can get behind compared to what most people consider funny, especially modern comedies or. I really like the amount of blood and gore.

Oh, yeah. I like that the blood showed up before the shark bit the people. Right? And it popped out like he squeezed it out of them. What are they?

Fucking juicy fruit? It came through their pores. You squeeze really hard. You have to have tentacles to do this. But mind me, you squeeze really hard.

What were those things with the juice filled that go with gummy guys? Gushers? Yeah. Ooh, I love some gushers right now. Sharktopus Just eating human gushers.

Why didn't they have, like, Sharktopus-sponsored gushers? That would have been awesome. Why didn't you get gushers, Brian? That would have been a great idea. Because sharks or octopi don't eat gushers.

Do they even make gushers anymore? Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Huh. I want some freshened up gum.

It like spurts in your mouth as you chew it. That's what she said. You did it to yourself. I don't think that works. I do it to myself all the time.

That's what she said. Okay, see that one was good. I'll give you that one. Even, like, if I'm at home talking to myself, and I'm like, that's what she said. And then I'm like, oh, God, I'm a crazy cat lady.

Do you retool it? That's what I said. Oh, man, I am by myself. I'm like, I'm alone. At least there's no questioning as to why.

At least I just talk to the other voices and I carry on conversations. Well, I mean, to be fair, I'm not really talking to myself. I'm usually talking to my dog or my cat. That makes it a lot better. I'm usually delivering monologues.

Everybody talks to themselves and if they say they don't, they are fucking lying. I mean, it's just convenient that we sit a microphone in front of me once a week because I've already done this material six or eight times. But do you refer to yourself in third person? Sometimes Brian does that. When you talk to yourself?

Misty does it all the time. Misty does it all the time. I'll start talking to myself in one part of my head, and then the other part of my head will answer it, and then I'll talk out loud. Sometimes okay but sometimes sometimes you don't run it past yourself and then you just say. When i was little i used to have this weird creepy habit that i would say things under my breath before i said them out loud like.

Did it maybe it's just like to see what they sound like have you seen the middle the. What the middle that tv show it's again I'll give you know that's one of the other ones that's almost tolerable of a new sitcom but yeah the little kid is creepy and he like he says things and then he says them to himself. He holds his head down and he'll repeat it again to himself. It's his thing. He's a quirky little kid.

I did the saying it to myself first. I've only hit and missed seeing it. That reminded me of that little kid. That's what I'll give that show. All the kids are creepy.

They're realistic kind of creepy. They're all weird and awkward and messed up. That's kind of the selling point of that show. The awkwardness. It's a pretty fun show.

As bad sitcoms go, it's a little better. I wonder if he got eaten by a sharktopus. Probably. Yeah, I was a little bit disappointed in it. I mean, it was fun, it was enjoyable, but.

After all the build-up and all the... It's gonna be awesome. And with any, like, Sharktopus, I guess I expected just a little bit more camp, I guess. I don't know. Kind of.

And that's one thing I was thinking, is, like, this knows it's silly, but it... It's like it almost needs to take a lesson from Piranha 3D. Like, in watching that. Like, that really... No, well, first of all, they need to realize that.

It's like, sci-fi doesn't... They're kind of doing these movies with their hands tied. I mean, they're making movies that kind of bank on showing boobs, and then they can't do it. So, instead, they have to put these scary-looking girls in bikinis. Yeah, that one girl was adorable, and she had the best body I've ever seen.

Which, the VJ girl? Yes. VJ girl. She had a smoking hot bod. Definitely, yeah.

But for this movie, she was definitely the best looking of the bunch. What I didn't get with her, and I'm not going to complain because she was the best looking of the bunch, but why is. She walking around in a bikini? Because she's inside the entire time. They walk out on the outside of the boat once for like two minutes at the very end there.

But, yeah, the entire rest of the time they're inside recording, doing their little pirate radio thing. What's the point of wearing a bikini? Why are we all sitting in bikinis right now? Well, that's because we have a theme show. He was a captain.

He didn't wear a captain hat. So they didn't follow through with their theme. And whatever happened to her? Did she just remember? I think she learned.

Again, to be on her side, she also did the best scream, which they kept cutting to at the commercial. I was like, see, now she did a good job. Did she live? I think so. I guess.

And whatever happened to that one girl on the boat that even the fucking Sharktropus. Didn't want to eat? Skinny bitch. The damn bony, nobody wanted to eat her. She was very skinny.

Sharktropus was like, dude, don't fuck with her. I'm going to go have some chum. I don't want your ass. She kind of looked like Rasputin from the animated Anastasia. I don't know if that's a claim to fame you really want.

Yeah, that woman should never be in another movie ever again. She looks like a skeleton with a thin layer of skin over her. And a bikini. Even Sharktopus didn't want to. Eat her bony.

So, we've got another one here, and that sort of leads to the other thing I wanted to discuss. This is from Tony Hacks. These were, actually, both of these were from, Nicodesimo opened up a folder in our forums. So he started a special little forum just for Sharktopus, so. That's pretty awesome.

Anyway, this one is Tony Hex, and he says, So glad I never cared about this. I see the appeal, maybe, but I'm pretty much finished with badness for the sake of badness, barring something truly exceptional like The Room or a birdedimmick, shock and terror. Shocked of us looked poor to mediocre from the start, and not really interesting at all, in my. Opinion, of course. So that led me to that, I mean, what...

How far can we take it with the bad for the sake of bad in these movies? Because it certainly fits in with that. But it just didn't seem like it took it far enough. If you're going to be bad for the sake of bad, it should have been a little bit worse. There could have been.

More, I don't know, more elaborate deaths. It just seemed like there was a lot of stabbing deaths going on. There was a lot of, I don't know. There was a lot of stabbing and squishing. I know.

It's like, he's a shark-topus. What the hell else is he going to do? True. But, I mean, it just seems like there could have been something else. I'm just not sure what.

I like how at the end he took that guy's head off. That was pretty exciting. That was cool. It would have been nice to see, like, him eat it like an octopus would. Just shove it up inside the mouth.

I wonder if he. Would have a mouth there. Didn't he? There was a hole. There was one underneath.

I thought that was what that was. Yeah. It took me a minute, because the first time I saw him, I was like, what the fuck is that? But... Is that his puppet hole?

I think that was. I thought he was the one with puppets. Wait a minute. What's going on? You're doctoring this up.

Nothing makes sense anymore. Well, that's what I was saying about the Piranha 3D. I mean, that one understood the level of bad for the sake of bad and then took it up several notches and was just like, To the point where I think, you know, they feel like, I felt like they were actually really aware. Like, Aja was, like, really. Conscious of the fact that these movies are kind of ridiculous and dumb and just there for the, you know, the TNA and the blood.

So let's take it up to the level of ridiculous... And let's, you know, and almost to the point of, like, people have given a lot of elaborate, like, almost to the point of commentary on these type of movies or, like, the whole society in general. It's like he took it. To a level that was, like, almost smarter than the dumb movies that he's making fun of. Where this, to me, just plays like a cheesy sci-fi movie.

Like, it never really feels like it's elevated to that point. It's just kind of like a bad B movie. You know, they've been making those for hundreds of years now. So... This just feels like it falls into one of those.

It's a fun bad B movie, but it certainly is a bad B movie still, nonetheless. See, I was disappointed because in my head I'm like, okay, he's going to go breed with a shark. And we're going to get little Sharktopus babies. That's what I was thinking. And then we're going to have a sequel, but then there was nothing.

Maybe there's a special scene that they didn't show us. Then they'll just happen to show you at the beginning of Sharktopus 2 Electric Boogaloo. Electric Eel Boogaloo. Wait a minute. Uh-oh.

They're going to work that into it. Alright, maybe not. That's what I was really hoping. There'd be little shark-tipus babies and they would like... You know that movie, what was it?

Crocodile or Alligator or something where they come up through your toilet and get you? Shark-tipus babies coming up through the toilet? That would be frightening. I'm going to have to look before I poop next time. I would if I were you.

You don't want that going on. Nobody likes that. What was that? But this, I don't know. I think this one, I mean, when he was comparing it to those other really bad movies, and I think that is something I will kind of give to those.

And I'm not saying I'm big on. I haven't really watched most of these epically bad movies. But what I know of a lot of them is that. The reason that they're so bad and the reason people are like, can totally get behind them on how terrible they are is because there's like a level of earnestness to them. Like they genuinely think they're making the best movie ever.

Like they, they set out to make this movie and they're putting all of their, you know, their effort and love and money and everything into it. And it's a train wreck and we're watching it knowing it's a trainer, but you, they don't know that. Like they're so close to it that they, they love this thing and they think it's the best thing ever. Um, And definitely, I mean, you get that with, like, Birdemic. That guy has no idea what, I mean, he just, he was kind of clueless as to how terrible some of this stuff is.

But, you know, to look at it, you almost have to give them a little more appreciation because. it's it's so like wholeheartedly that they go into this that they genuinely are putting something good together to me that's it's sort of like the ed wood rule and because i love ed wood movies to a ridiculous extent so it's like to me it feels like you get that because that's one of. Those yeah he made bad movies but he set out to make you know seriously he thought he was making oscar caliber stuff like he thought he was making the best movie ever and you know we can laugh at it now, but he was so, like, just in love with the process and just loved what he was doing. And, you know, the movie itself was kind of like secondary to how much he loved his.

Whole filmmaking life. Whereas this, you know, this just feels like they needed to make a cheesy movie. And they. Followed through with that. It was like somebody got really, really, really stoned one day and decided they were like, hey, dude, hey, hey.

What if a shark and an octopus, what if they like were one? And like, how would it be? And that's what happened. Why do I get the feeling you've probably had this conversation before? Um, I may have, you know, contacted sci-fi about eight months ago.

I'm just saying. Actually, you have to go back way further than that. Cause this was another one in the, in our, our little folder on the forum. Uh, Mr. Chris here pointed out that, um, The most amusing aspect of Sharktopus is it's a name that appears on a list that Leela is holding on Futurama.

In episode four in 1999. Nice. There's like, I guess it's like an itinerary of like stuff that they're shipping, I guess. And one of which on the little checklist is Sharktopus. So I'm wondering, was that purposeful?

Did they watch that? Or is it something that they think they came up with? I mean, like a Sharktopus isn't really like the most... crazy idea to ever i mean it's stupid but i mean it's not like you couldn't put 10 people in a room and like four of them wouldn't come up with the idea i like the names. That they gave us before the the work and. Title names they were pretty bad what.

Was it octo octo arc was one of them what was. The other. Shavatar. I like that one. They were bad.

Finception. Yeah, that was really bad. But, I mean, you got the. Let's see, the director's Declan, Declan O'Brien, and he's like, I mean, he's kind of making fun of his own movie now. Like, I mean, not even, sometimes you'll get people that make a bad movie, actors or directors, and you give it 10 years and they look back and go, okay, you're right, and they'll get a sense of humor about themselves and they can make fun of themselves.

But when you're at the premiere of it and you're kind of making fun of your own movie, it's like you know there's no, like, earnestness to it. There's not like he went in thinking, this is gonna be a good movie. I mean, he's making fucking Sharktopus. He knows that. But, I mean, if it puts it in perspective, the last thing he made, Misty, Wrong Turn 3.

Ugh, I hated that one. I liked Wrong Turn 2 and Wrong Turn 1. It's sad that I knew your feelings on this movie. I loved the first one. I loved the second one because fucking Henry Rollins is freaking awesome.

But the third one, ugh. I liked that it was Wrong Turn 3, Left 4 Dead. Left 4 Dead. What's next? Right turn Clyde starring Clint Eastwood directed by Clint.

Eastwood starring the monkey rockin' for righty tighty. So, yeah, he's directed Cyclops and Rock Monster. It's not like this guy holds himself up. There to be an Oscar-caliber director. I'm assuming, since he's appearing on it, making fun of it, basically, that he doesn't take it seriously either.

And to me, that's kind of where I have to take points off, really. It's like, if you don't go in expecting to make a good movie, how can we appreciate it as a good movie, basically? If you go in to make crap, we can only appreciate it as crap. I don't know. But we do love your crap.

Yeah, not that it's not fun, but still, I mean, you watch. Could have been better. Yeah, you watch the acting, you watch the dialogue being delivered, and you're just like, well, okay, this is crap. Granted, I like the monster, I like the kills. It's a lot of fun.

I laughed at it a hell of a lot, but only sometimes. Was it stuff I was supposed to be laughing at. I hated the hero guy. I'm like, dude, really? You want me to buy this guy as your fucking hero?

The blue steel face? The whole fucking movie? Mm-hmm. Somebody online listed it as he looked like he just smelled something. And the more I watched it, I was like, they're kind of right.

He does have that the whole time. His stink face? Yeah, he's kind of like, what is that? Who farted? Yeah, he's got that going the whole time.

It was the girl with the weird blotchy freckles. Who was really cute from far away. She was like a monster teen. She did. All of her teeth were like filed to a fucking point.

She had little monster teeth. She was like, um, fuck, what's his name? She's the spawn of Shark Duos. That's right. She could have been made it.

She had no mother in the movie. That's right. Maybe Eric Roberts. She could be Sharktopus' mother. Maybe Eric Roberts and Sharktopus late one night.

I think it's lonely in the lab. Because seriously, all of her teeth were like little points and like little shark teeth. She's like, what's his name? From Sleepy Hollow. Christopher Walken.

Oh, yes. That is frightening. I was afraid of Christopher Walken forever because of that. You should be afraid of him. I saw him in something before I saw that, and I was like, oh, my God, he's so dreamy.

I was like nine, and then I saw that, and I was like, no. Oh, that reminds me. Christopher Walken was dreamy. Oh, yeah. One thing I did watch this week that– was amazing but also i mean i love tim curry i really do but he's fucking scary yeah the new criminal minds the last criminal minds episode oh my god i had nightmares.

It freaked me the fuck out but i. Love that show every almost every show almost every episode features like a leonard cohen song and i mean like i'm totally behind any show that. Has oh yeah yeah i love them But, yeah, I saw the commercial for that. I was like, wow, that's a creepy and dramatic thing for him. I mean, he's gotten really fat and he's really old.

He had, like, rotten teeth and, like, a gobble neck and stuff. There are very few things I hate more than a gobble neck. And the fact that he kidnapped a little girl and cut all her hair off. Like, what? We can't get into.

That because I'll keep going. But, see, the thing that I had a problem with, in the purpose of the show, he was an American guy. And, like. Hello, I'm Tim Curry. I've got my British accent.

Oh, I was born in California, and I'm a serial killer. What? He's never been good at accents, I hate to tell you. I know. Have you seen Congo?

No, but I mean. As horrible as Congo is, it's bad enough. I mean, he can't do an American accent either, but he's supposed to be Russian in that movie, and he just sounds British 90% of the time. I mean, you could tell he kind of tried to not have it, which was even worse. Yeah, it sounded more British.

And as much as I love Criminal Minds, I really just think they were going the John Lithgow, Dexter route. Like, let's pull this old, famous actor who's not really doing anything out of the vaults and making the creepy serial killer in our movie or our TV show. You can't blame them. They all have to do that. It's competition.

You didn't get to blow him away at the end, which was pretty cool. Spoiler alert. Like we didn't see it coming. I know. That's one of the things I DVR religiously at work to watch.

Yeah. So while we brought up our little lead guy there, where's your phone at? Oh, in my pocket. All right. Who?

Barry Sobel. S-O-B-E-L. Now, for this, this is probably for all of you, this is going to be a special Google project. Because half of you, at least, is probably going to have no idea who I'm talking about. But I couldn't get out of my head the entire time.

Because we already, you don't take this guy seriously. He's kind of a joke. He's weird looking. He doesn't fit your Navy SEAL at all. What did you say, more like a football player?

Yeah, he's more like a backwoods country, like Kentucky football. He kind of seems like a douche, too. He just seems like a frat boy. He could have been an extra in the fucking Night of the Creeps. He would not seem out of place with a popped collar.

That's all I have to say. Who is it? Barry Sobel. I know, but I'm getting a bunch of pictures of a million different guys. Is it this guy?

Who is this guy? Yeah, this is a reference that nobody will get except two or three people. Barry Sobel, bad 90s stand-up, whose basic gimmick was, well, at first it was just pointing out, in our usual fashion of racism, pointing out, like, stereotypes and then kind of making fun of them, but pretending like his making fun of it was really trying to make it okay. I don't know, he had some weird delivery of like, saying things that were horribly racist. And then like, oh no, really?

I don't know. Like me? You know, you gotta go, fine, okay, no stereotype is true. Fine, nothing is the way you imagine. Filipinos don't eat dogs.

Okay, fine. A lot of Italian businesses are very legitimate. Fine. I've never seen an Italian woman with a mustache. Arabs don't smell.

Jewish people are always picking up a check. Okay, fine. No, you're not a bad stand-up. He was bad to begin with, but then his persona became... I'm the white guy that thinks I'm black.

So then he started touring dressed in crazy hats and hip-hop gear and nonsense like that. No, to the point that by the end of his career, he ended up as the token white guy on 227. If anybody, that's probably the only way anybody will remember him is if you're, if you remember watching 227 going, what's this dorky white guy doing in the middle of it? It's that guy who, but that's the thing. He, this guy looks like, like the bastard brother-in-law of Barry Sobel.

That's the only thing I could think to me. The main guy? Yeah. Our bad, like he looks like, like a horrible like version of that. I mean, obviously, he's not like Mr.

Abs, like our lead boy was. And if he's lived in Mexico for three fucking years, why is he still so fucking pale and pasty? Dude, fucking get a tan. What SPF are you fucking using? Because I want it.

Because I want to stay as pale and pasty. As you are and how how did you do that trick with the hat in the water. Dude seriously because it was not there it was not there one minute and they said you know fucking sombrero and he pulled out of his ass what the hell. Yeah i don't think he can lay on the bottom if you're wearing a sombrero Technically, no. No.

It's against the rules. Sure, it goes against the laws of time and space. And it just wasn't there. That's what I'm saying. Physics-wise, you can't do that.

So, I don't know. That's what all I could think of the whole time was that annoying guy delivering bad stand-up and then firing a gun randomly. Because this guy couldn't shoot. He could not. Dude, I could have fucking shot better than him.

You know, I know you're firing on a green screen or whatever. You don't know where the Sharktopus is. But, hey, at some point they could have made it connect once. Once? No.

No, not at all. Well, my favorite was how often he liked to just fire randomly in the air to scare people off. And waste all his fucking bullets. It's at the end. Well, now I'm on a bullet.

I never saw him reload, which is funny. I never saw him hit anything useful. No, not really. I love the fact that everybody, like, gyrates completely horrible when they shoot the gun, too. Like, their arms move and...

Probably. A kickback that should not be there. I called out the Dino Kraken Super Gator movie for the same thing. The muzzle flashes are always terrible in these movies. It always looks like, you know, just bad, like, what did we decide?

It was Adobe? Sparkler? No, it's like Adobe paint and they just flashed a little orange in front of the screen or Oh, man. Yeah, that part always looks bad. There was this one.

Girl in the movie who got taken down by Sharktopus, and she screamed, but you could tell that her mouth wasn't moving when she was being taken down, which was kind of funny. I enjoyed that. There's also these weird meta moments where they're talking about the movie, but they're not talking about the movie. That makes it funny. I guess.

Oh, she's like, that only happens in movies. That one was bad, but the one where they're describing the plot of the movie you're watching as though it would be funny if they made a movie about the movie you're watching. But even that guy was like, dude, that nod sucks. He called it. so yeah they that was him insulting. The girl though you're easily amused i've seen you be amused by watching a burrito in a microwave like dude what the fuck hit.

That guy yeah really she was like one of the smartest characters in the movie i know way smarter than the girl who uh went to mit for bioengineering yeah. That's sad oh and she didn't even wear. Glasses i don't know Or she didn't have her hair up or look nerdy at all. She spent the entire movie in a bikini, for God's sake. She's the smartest character we have.

And he belittles her the entire time. Nice. You're hot. You must be really dumb. Yeah.

I like to tell myself that about really hot girls just to make myself feel better. Well, yeah, but that doesn't get my real life. It's usually true, though. We have Corman's cameo. That was pretty fucking awesome.

I like how he bites on the coin. I don't know. I'm like, dude, that's been on the ground. That's been dirty. Why don't you take the fucking metal detector if you care so much about coins?

I mean. I don't know. Back from the dead. Back from the dead? He has been ripped.

I spit him up! We told everybody he got eaten by a sharktopus. The sharktopus threw you back up. I'm going to have to borrow a sharktopus. It's too late now.

No! But for my own personal edification. That's empty. Welcome back being spit up by a sharktopus. Yes, it was excellent.

Fishy, gooey, slimy. Did you eat any of his inside scrapings? I did. I think that's what set me off. I think he ate a burger that was made from rancid meat or something that was more re-rancid because of his stomach juices and pepsin.

That'll do it. That makes any sense, which it probably doesn't. None of the shows made any sense thus far. Okay, sweet. What I want to know is, cramming two animals together, which one has spikes?

I guess a squid does. But there's no squid involved. No, octopuses don't have spikes on their tentacles. Squids do. I'm talking about the ones sticking out of the side of it.

You mean the gills? No, like the big spines. Yeah, he had big spikes like porcupine quills. What the hell were those? He's a sharkupine.

Sharkupine. Sharkupine. Sharkupine. Oh, God. I don't know.

I'm like, everything else makes sense. It's like, yep, yep, shark, octopus. Okay, I said, wait, what? They may have had to have eaten Chris Pine to be a shark. I'm sorry.

Well, maybe he's genetically. Did you see him while you were in there? He's genetically engineered with Chris Pine. His eyes were not blue. I want a shark pint on my very own.

They were black and dead like my third wife. That was awesome. That was a great line right there. Like a shark's eyes. Like a doll's eyes.

Like a doll's eyes. Wait, that's from a really good movie. It bites down and you have the dives roll over right. Oh, man. What else?

We should watch Jaws, actually. The funny thing was, I was actually doing Master of Disguise. Oh, really? I don't think we can talk anymore. Because I've never seen it.

Really? Oh, we're totally watching Jaws. No, we're not. Master of Disguise. But not Jaws.

What part were they talking about a doll's eyes? That makes me die a little inside. So you were referencing a movie that was referencing another movie, but not the actual movie that was being referenced. That happens. That happens all the time.

Well, the other day I heard this lady say, I don't know nothing about birthing no babies. And Jessica used to say that all the time before she did birth a baby. And my boss had to explain to me that it's from Gone with the Wind. I was like, oh. Oh okay those kind yeah sometimes that's an old school reference sometimes they just get said and people hear them so much they don't even know that it's a quote or anything it's just like a saying to them but no there's other times where at this point we've gotten so self-referential that yeah movies will quote another movie and then you'll be quoting.

That i feel bad for our kids nowadays kids people nowadays that only see the movie and like that's where it originally came from you're like actually. No or they watch glee and they're like oh my god i love these new original songs. These are so amazing who's elton john. What is it what they say that the uh the jay-z you know new york song yeah is the most downloaded itunes song ever but the glee version not the original the glee version is the most. Awesome that's way to stick it.

It's funny because when i first started watching the show anytime i like a show i'm like i have to watch it religiously or it'll get canceled because like me watching it i think it's gonna like you'll save it yeah And I felt like that at first with Glee, but now it's like a fucking monstrosity. I'm like, I don't have to watch this fucking show. As soon as I start watching something, it's going. To get canceled. Anymore, you can almost wait and give it a couple seasons and see, because now you can go back and watch the whole season on DVD.

Because back in the day, it's like, oh, that looks awesome, and you miss it, you're fucked. It's like, maybe you catch one on rerun. But yeah, now you can just go back and catch up when you know it's going to be around for more than a season. Except for the opposite sex. I can't find that one.

Because it only made it one season, wasn't it? I don't even know if it got a full season. It was an interesting show. I liked it. Oh, man.

I wonder what was up with that fucking stupid kid at the beginning getting ready to pick up bird shit. He's just wandering around like a little toddler and he looks down. And he's like, oh, yay! That's what they have to play with in Mexico. That was the Montajo Mexico poor kids play with poor kids they need.

To get some toys I thought they had ball in a cup ball in. A cup come on man. It's great because you can't lose your ball because it's attached to a string I want it I want it. Don't worry about what's in my cup because it's in my cup it's. In my cup God I love you little Wayne if you're listening.

Okay, okay. We talked about this. Where are we? Have we even talked about this? I'm not sure.

I don't think so. We talked about the god-awful main character. The daughter with her fucking, look at me, I'm a nerd, hot glass. Don't call me pumpkin, Dad. Oh, God.

What did I tell you about it? She said that one more time. I'm a girl, I'm a woman now. I mean, seriously, didn't we all know what the password was before she did? Yes.

What was it, pumpkin? Yes. Oh, shit. You weren't even there. Oh, my God.

And she goes, oh, Dad. After he's done died horribly. I know. Did he get bitten half or anything? Shocked him but slit his throat.

Yeah. Ruined that for everybody who. Hasn't seen it. Sorry. Oh, he had a spoiler alert.

I know Eskimo was talking about he was surprised that Corman didn't direct it, but I thought he'd heard that too, because yeah, he hasn't really directed anything. Aside from that one movie, he hasn't directed a movie in like 40 years. With the one exception thrown in the middle there. It's been a long time, so... He's nothing but producing.

At this point. And acting. Yeah, it was awesome. Look at that dirty old man wandering out there on the beach. He's checking out that girl's ass.

He got a piece of eight out of it or a doubloon or something. Yeah, that was pretty awesome. But he put it in his mouth. I'm like, really? That's dirty.

It's been on the beach. That girl who just got eaten, she was fondling it. You don't know where her hands have been, what she's been doing. I like how he watched her die and then just picked up the gold. Oh, yeah.

He was waiting for her to get carried away. Whatever. Got you, bitch. Got you, bitch. It should be mine.

Our other comment from this one was on twitter from anything horror said overall fun but it kind of felt like the. Whole project was very rushed I can kind of agree but to me not more than any other sci-fi. Movie it's still sci-fi quality yeah it's not really CG I mean Meshing between CG and real life is terrible as always. There's moments when it was good. That was the thing with the CG.

There's some of the stuff, especially the more distant shots. The one of the shadow of him swimming underwater was kind of cool. But then. It's all better when you can't really see it. Yeah, when they get closer.

When he comes up on the beach, I was like, oh wow, Sharktopus is my new favorite Saturday morning cartoon character. Seriously, I didn't. Bother to put any texture or And you kind of like, you just look like he was made out of like a sculpey or something. Like, but it's shiny. Like, like silly putty.

Like the silly, stretchy, shiny kind of material. But some of them really were like cartoon characters. Like, like you're watching Roger Rabbit and they slapped a cartoon character in the middle of a live action. I love Roger Rabbit. What's that got to do with shit?

You just said Roger Rabbit. I know, but I'm saying. You brought it up. It's like a live action. Yeah.

You brought this on yourself. I don't know what you're saying. I agree. I know exactly what you're saying. I was.

I was following it through. Well, it's like just put one more, you know, because with CG and stuff, how cheap and easy it is nowadays. But still, it doesn't matter if you have lazy, you know, computer guys that just put one texture map on the whole thing. You don't do anything else with it. It's like.

Take some time to, like, put shadows and this, that, and the other thing. I think it's just money, really. They have $ 4 to make these, and they realize it. Well, maybe they should not make so many damn, damn many of them and just have, like, a couple good ones. I'd get behind that.

If they can make, you know, three or four a year instead of, like, ten. Thirty. You know, it's, yeah, it'd be a lot better for all of us. Chimera versus.... Although we do want to see what's the crazy wolf one monster wolf we're already kind of sold on monster wolf on the commercial it sounds pretty tight I wonder if it's.

Going to have like the old Indian guy because normally when there's wolves there's Indians. Around somewhere usually yeah the old shaman that tells them the tale there. Would be a white guy dressed up acting like. An Indian right with a horrible accent there would. Be Sam Elliott I'm okay with that.

Can't afford real Indians come on man Or Mogwai. Let's be fair, there's not really that many real Indians around anymore. The hell are you saying? That's when Mohicans got to play Mogwai. Isn't that Gremlins?

No, no, no, no. Daniel Day-Lewis? No, no, no. Didn't we do that last week? We did it earlier in the show, too.

The Indian that betrayed them all or whatever with the bad skin. Danny Trejo? Yeah. His skin is bad like Danny Trejo. Well, I'm going to find this out, Damon.

Mogwa understand English very much. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Mogwa is definitely a. Mogwa. I want a Mogwa. Just don't feed him after midnight.

Get him wet. I don't know. I kind of want to get him wet. I want a whole little tribe of them. They'd be cute.

Cuddle with them. After they kill you and eat your entrails. I just wouldn't feed. Them after midnight. I wouldn't feed them at all.

I'll feed stuff. Your Mogwai would die. Starvation Mogwai. Your Mogwai's probably like, meh. Tight keep them in check.

So yeah, I referenced him earlier, but yeah. By the end of this, there's some tentacle fighting that. Would make Ed Wood proud. wow they tried to avoid that in the beginning it was a lot of like water kills and quick cuts but by the end when he's up like in the on the beach or on the on that the dance party oh god was there a dance party yeah you don't remember yeah that one wasn't as bad though it was towards the end like the eric roberts area there where he was up on that little uh balcony thing that was bad there was some bad fighting with tentacles especially when it's fighting with tentacles that aren't even there Those are pretty rough. Yeah. Fights with tentacles.

That's your Indian name. One fights with tentacles. Other than calling them out for that camcorder, I think. Yeah, seriously, does anybody really use a camcorder that fucking day? I mean, really, what?

Because they were supposed to be like knockoff CNN, weren't they? Yeah, they were. And what's the point of having all their footage if when they're showing them on the news, they're not using their footage, they're just using a still of her while she's talking. I told you, the real world version is they hadn't done the bad CGI yet. They were shooting those scenes six months before.

But, yeah, it is retarded that they're talking about the footage that they're not showing on the screen. And then, yeah, I mean, what professional news operation uses a camcorder from 1991? My grandma has that video camera. Yeah, I don't even think they make anything like that, and it wasn't really hooked to anything, and he never recharged the battery. Those batteries don't last long.

Why did she look. Like a really cheap Mexican prostitute? Because she was really cheap. She's a raging bitch. Yeah, I don't know about prostitutes.

I could not wait for her to die. Oh, this is a chick that had to get the story or whatever. Oh, yeah. And why did she have to hussy herself up first? I mean, it's right for the old fisherman guy.

Well, I mean, really, if she was talented, they would stand up and dance. I mean, come on. She's just kind of lame is what she is, right? Elvira can make him dance. Damn straight.

See, not Elvira. She's a talented woman. Shake it like a soul shaker. That woman, not so much. Get low.

Get low. Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Oh, Lord. So, yeah.

Sharktopus. Kind of fun. Kind of a mess. Like this whole show has been a mess. Like the front of my shirt was a mess.

If you like the. Kills and the Sharktopus monster, it's worth watching. And the Sharktopus song. The Sharktopus song is awesome. Is it me, or were they covering an Iggy Pop song, or was it just meant to sound like it?

Did you notice that? They covered a lot of weird songs in there. Yeah, what was the Stolen Santana song? The Rock Thomas Santana? Yeah.

I love you some Cheetah Horse. It sounded... I can't remember what song it is now because I'm really tired, but I swear it was like an Iggy Pop song or it was meant to sound like an Iggy Pop song. Probably was. They probably just recorded it with a couple of notes off so they didn't have to pay anybody.

That's kind of what the Santana one sounded like. It's like they changed it just enough that I don't think they'll get sued. But at the same time, I'm kind of like, that sounds exactly like Smooth. What the hell? So, yeah, the music is kind of weird.

But that band's awesome. Cheetah Horse, right? The Cheetah Horse. We're going to be playing as much of them as we can. Are they a real band?

Yeah. I hope so. Good. But otherwise, anything else you want to add on Sharktopus? No.

See, I covered all the basics. The kid playing with poop. The guy's Sharpie tattoos. Oh, the annoying kid at the end. I hated that kid.

I'm just going to sit here and let him eat me, kid. What the fuck? No, what's the thing? I felt more satisfied then. He just sat there and cried like.

A little bitch. He wasn't even like a little bitty kid, like a toddler. He was like as big as his mom was. Seriously, he just sat there crying. I wanted to beat her in the fucking face, too.

She just sat there. My son, my son. Fucking get him, you dumb crybaby. That's what I'm saying. What kind of mother are you?

If you cared about that kid, go get him. These are the people that are not proactive when it comes to saving their own life or their child's life. The rock is falling from 30 stories up. Move out of the way. Throw your hands in the air and scream a lot.

We're in Mexico, but I do like to do that. What are you basing that on? And I'm the one who gets hate mail. But hey, it's fact, you know, the famous channel. It's fact.

Fiestas. Tequila. Ooh, is it getting hot. In here or is it just me? Fiesta like you just don't care.

I'm going to go back to coloring. Sharktopus has got you. So with that, I guess we can round out Sharktopus here. Or let Jay. By letting Jay tell us what he thinks.

So as we take a break here, we will let Jay tell us his thoughts on Sharktopus. Holy shit, Sharktopus. Oh, my God. What could be any more awesome? A half shark, half octopus.

Octoshark. Whatever the hell you want to call it. What a fucking movie, man. Oh, jeez. Sci-fi movie.

Great. Fun. Tons of entertainment. Better than Clash of the Titans, I'll tell you. At least the CG was better.

The acting was pretty horrible in this movie. I think... Jeez, how do you describe this movie? It's just a lot of girls in bikinis and people shooting at a damn shark. The puss is eating everybody.

The death scenes were... They were okay. They were something. They were funny, at least. Good Lord.

What a train wreck of a movie. It was fun, though. It was lots of fun. The hero was a complete douchebag. Really, you're going to get this guy?

This is your hero for the movie? What did they pull this guy out of, like The Gap or something? Uh, he's supposed to be a Navy SEAL? Jeez, this guy couldn't hit anything. Uh, he's got that submachine gun he fires off God knows how many rounds.

I don't think he, does he ever reload in this movie? doesn't hit anything he's like point blank range I mean come on man if you're gonna go hunt a shark to push are you gonna take a 9mm really that's what you're gonna take a 9mm submachine gun why not an AK-47 you know why not something big like a Browning automatic rifle something like that something good something big you know not some wimpy little MP5 but you know I don't know uh Geez. Yeah, everybody in this movie dies. I guess it takes everybody in this movie to die before they finally get pissed off and decide he's going to kill this damn thing. Other than that, they just want to capture it and bring it back alive or whatever, you know, because it's the government.

They don't want to ever really destroy any of their stuff, but. Jeez. Oh, good Lord. I don't know. The camera guy jacked up teeth.

That's all I got to say. Jacked up teeth and Sharpie tattoos. Those tattoos were awful. I don't know who drew those on at the last minute, but I think I could have drawn a better job. He looked like he had about 1,600 spring break mistakes done on his skin, you know?

One too many times in Daytona Beach. But, uh, Gee, with the reporter. Yeah, what kind of reporter is that? She's got to show her boobs to get a story, you know? What a slut.

The crusty old sea captain guy. Kind of reminds me of this drunk guy I used to work with all the time, except that he didn't get his head ripped off, so, you know. Oh, well, I guess he fared out a little bit better. Oh, geez. Good Lord.

What a movie. Sharknepus. That's all I got to say on this stupid thing. I can't think of anything else because everything's probably going to be said at the podcast. But as far as my review on it, fun movie.

Great time by all. Probably one of those movies you want to get drunk with your friends and just sit around and laugh. You could probably make a drinking game out of it. Like every time you see Shark the Push, you take a drink. Or every time the scene comes up in the cameraman's jacked up teeth, you take a drink.

Or every time the dad calls his daughter Pumpkin, you take a drink. And that's another thing. She doesn't really strike me as much of a, you know, I don't know, whatever she is, supposed to be some kind of genetic scientist or something like that. She just kind of seemed like a whiny, nerdy kid, you know, old blue emo. What's up with all these emo people?

Whatever. All right. I'll talk to you later. Bye. One minute left to top off the evening with a treat from our snack bar.

Still time if you hurry. Last call for refreshments, folks. Go right this. Second to get something good to eat and drink to enjoy now or during the rest of the show. Each year, 10,000 tourists visit Ocean Beach.

This summer, Ocean Beach has attracted something else. American International presents... Tentacles. It slept until man disturbed it. Then it woke with a fury no man could control, rising from the ocean floor to bring destruction and death.

Tentacles. A chilling tale of nature gone wild as two of the sea's deadliest enemies fight to the death. Starring John Huston, Shelley Winters, Bo Hopkins, Claude Akins, and Henry Fonda. Tentacles. The most gripping suspense you will ever experience.

Rated PG. Podcasts. Podcasts. This fall, you will be introduced to Palibur.com. Palibur.com is your new home for all your favorite podcasts, blogs... and your favorite internet personalities.

Palover.com. That's P-A-L-A-V-E-R dot com. Your first stop for all of your guilty pleasures. That's part of your problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies.

All of life's riddles are. Answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. I feel a lot better right now, actually. I'll just shut up.

Now. Shark to crack. Yeah, he swallowed a drug dealer. It was a meth. I had to feast upon his flesh to survive for those mere moments.

Wow. Wow. I said something about this being a train wreck. I don't know what you're talking about. Worst episode ever.

That's the most enthusiastic episode. I agree. All right, we are back, and we've got feedback. Yes. That's good feedback.

Not just feedback, like epic feedback. Yeah, I don't know. I've been waiting a long time for this. I don't know if we're prepared for this one. It's late on us.

This one, we each get our own little moment in the sun here. Oh, jeez. I'm not going to get called off for being a bad person. Kind of, yeah, but in an awesome way. Kind of, yeah.

Oh, as always, we can count on Randy. Randy. Thank you, Randy. I'll wait to say thanks until after I hear what he says about me. Do what?

I'll wait to say thanks until after I hear what he says about me. Okay, here we go. Hey, everybody, it's Randy. I'm calling in to try and... Help correct this non-call-in thing.

Because people might be shy. They might not know the Meltdown crew like I know them. Of course, I only know a few of them, and I'll make up wild lies about the rest. Here's some introductions to get to know your podcasters, starting with the ladies. We'll start with Misty.

You know Misty. You love her. Sadly, I've always felt that Misty missed her calling. Somewhere, an M1A1 Abrams main battle tank sits forlorn and empty. The Abrams battle tank fires a 105mm shell with a 3km range.

If we could couple that with a loudspeaker with the same range where Misty's special brand of observation could come in just before or just after that shell lands, why, it'd be a whole new era for diplomacy, wouldn't it? If you're new and you haven't heard too much... Who's Misty? Well, she's the one who makes cute and adorable statements like... He's got molars like hams.

I mean, how can he fit anything in that mouth? Or perhaps. That child is ugly. Those ears on that kid you could catch a softball with. She brings in the country with the occasional...

They'll get wandered off. Kind of statement. So now when you're listening, you'll know when you hear one of those particular soul-destroying condemnations that just have managed to somehow. ferret out the. Weakness of a person's character or upbringing that you're listening to, Misty! And then there's Marlena!

How can you. Separate Marlena from the rest of the crowd? Well, whenever one of those stories goes off that's absolutely insane and a little bit frightening, that's Marlena! If you hear a heartwarming tale that could at some point degenerate into felony arrests for everyone involved but somehow doesn't? Now you're listening to Marlena.

If Brian had more time and he wasn't so busy picking out songs that matched every episode, he might be able to put in a Rod Serling intro for every time Marlena says something about what happened to her this week. She's a one-woman social X-file, and we love her for it. Meet Marlena! And then there's Joni. She knows more about music than you'll ever know in your life.

She likes Christmas, puppies, anime, and not locking her Facebook page. Okay, I think I just wound up on the creepy side of things. Anyhow, there's Joanie! Now, to the guy side of the field. Next up is the unsung hero of the podcast.

That would be Jay. Some people might say that Jay has an attendance problem. I'll tell you the truth. He's got a real goddamn life. Jay has a job where in the summertime, if he doesn't go in at 3 a.m. in the morning, he'll friggin' die.

You know how you get on Facebook and you learn things about people? You go, you look at photos of their dogs, something like that? I went to Jay's and I saw a photo of him beating another man and a collection of vintage hardcore motorcycles. It pretty much gives you the impression... That he's a one-man roaming crime spree just waiting to tee off on somebody who pisses him off.

Which I would suggest avoiding at all costs. You might have heard them reference on the podcast how Danny Trejo was trying to pull Jay down so he wouldn't look tall. Uh-uh. I've looked at that photo. Danny Trejo looked afraid of him.

Jay is romantically linked to Misty, which means he's more badass than any of us. I'd tell you more about Jay, but I don't want to wind up on the wrong side of him and get busted in the mouth at the next Horror Hound weekend. Assuming he's right. Life doesn't crush him there, too. Meet Jay.

Next, we come to the stalwart, the main pillar of the podcast, and that would be Roger. If nerds had a king, we'd all bow down to Roger. You found some new nifty bitchin' trailer for a movie nobody's ever heard of yet? Don't tell Roger about it. He already knows.

In my mind, I. Picture Roger as the type who'd pull over in the rain to help somebody stuck on the side of the road. Sure, they'll probably turn out to be a knife-wielding psychopath. But I'll also tell you, I'm sure by the time he reaches the next exit, he'll be wearing that psychopath's skin like a suit. Why?

Just cause. If you want to know who'd win, the Starship Yamato or the Enterprise, Roger's the guy you go to. It's the tragedy of our lifetimes that there isn't a throne for him. To sit on. Well, other than that one.

Anyhow, meet Roger! And now we come to the mastermind, the driving force behind this podcast, and that would be Brian! Brian! The will and the obsession that drives Movie Meltdown. You don't know Brian until you've been to a convention and you've watched him angle his way towards his prey for that interview.

Why do you think he's the only guy out there that got Roger Corman one-on-one? Because I think on the back end of that microphone he's got a real sharp thing, like a nail sticking out of it where he says, you can have the mic end, Or you can have the other end, but I sure want to talk to you. He gets more interviews than anybody else out there. And I never wonder why. When he says he wants feedback, I'd suggest you get off your ass before he comes to your house to get it.

That's Brian. And lest I forget, there's Greg. Greg has a PhD in nerdism. If you want to know who Godzilla roomed with in college, you ask Greg. He's widely traveled and even more widely read.

And he'll kill you for looking at him wrong. Meet Greg. Okay, now I've done my intros. Now you know who these people are. Will you call them for Christ's sake so I don't have to hear this week after week?

Thanks. Randy, out. He deserves anything free, swaggish that we have. Look at me! He knows all about you, so you don't have to worry about that.

You apparently know where I live. If you want to have dinner, just let me know. I'm sure Roger will be perfectly fine. So mine was a compliment, right? Oh, yeah.

But now I'm scared of you. Dude, we're all badass. Yeah. It all comes down to perception, and I just love how some people perceive us, I guess. I like how Randy perceives us.

Screw everybody else. Everyone else is wrong. Yeah, Randy's awesome. Randy, my heart just grew three sizes. He says his heart, but he means something else.

Either way, he really enjoyed it. Thanks a lot. Thank you. Yep, thank you. And yeah, if we don't get anything else, I might just play that every week because it's pretty damned awesome.

It's pretty awesome. I want to hear it every week because my head feels bigger. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You might want to write in and tell me how to lock up my Facebook page, by the way, Randy, because I thought I did. You may know how to crack it anyways.

He is a hacker. I thought I had all that shit locked up. Yeah, that's what you think. Apparently not. Oh, wow.

So, yes. Epic, epic feedback. Thank you, Randy. Once again, pretty damn awesome. That's why Randy's our favorite listener.

He's my favorite listener. I don't know who all you're all. I'm picking favorites. I don't care. That doesn't surprise me either.

I'll pick favorites. Screw you guys. Everybody wants to say they don't pick favorites, but. They really do. This is why you're not allowed to have children.

Exactly. One of the many, many reasons. Yeah. But, yes, thank you once again. And, hey, everybody, feel free to put together your own message and send it to us.

Call it in. However you want to get it to us, keep sending the feedback. Otherwise, you have to deal with Randy at this point. And Marlena, apparently. I don't remember what my feedback was then.

Which one are we talking about? Rod Sterling. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That is my... Yep, that's how it is. I didn't even go into the stories about what happened to me this week, so. They're probably. We should have a Marlena moment this week.

This week in Marlena's life. I really... I know it's really narcissistic, but I'm like, I really need a Twitter... account just to upload all these hilarious moments that i hear other hilarious things that i hear other people say like i try to upload as many memorable quotes as i possibly can on facebook but i feel like people probably get tired and block me like yesterday i was sitting at work and my boss overheard someone say vajayjay he looks at him he said what the fuck oprah i should punch you in your goddamn face for saying that in my business wow that's. A little uh Wow. It was his friend, so it was okay.

He was joking, but it was still really funny. I didn't think that was a censoring version. I thought it was just because it was funny. What? The usage of vajayjay.

Yeah. That's everybody I know that uses it just uses it because it's funny. Yeah. I don't think we're like... I like vajixi.

Vajixi? I don't think we're PG-13-ing ourselves. Vajazzled. Oh, God. Is that with stones and rhinestones and stuff?

It's like a new trend. Oh my god. Does it hurt? I don't know. I think it's just glue.

No, I want to use that gun. I got dink. I got dink. I got dink. I fucking hurt, but look how cool it is.

Are they going to do an infomercial for that? Oh, wait. Do you like gin stuff? Does your vajayjay need new life breathed into it? It would be good to slap Chopka.

Oh my gross. He'd beat the hooker after he BJJ'd her. No, he'd get beat up by the hooker after. She beat the shit out of her. Or he, she, it.

Wow. Person. They. Well, if it's a boy and a girl, can you say they? Together?

And they is like... I mean, I don't know. That's a big question there. Let me know. If you have answers out there, let us know.

Pose that out there, yeah. I think only if they have multiple personalities. Ooh. I'm thinking if he had both parts, he'd probably have a little bit of both in there. Hey, if you're a schizophrenic and or an hermaphrodite, let us know.

We want to hear what your thoughts are. Please, tell us. It's purely scientific, and I don't mean to make fun of you, if you are. No, no, we need it. But she would like pictures.

But she would. Please. Just post them straight to her Facebook page. You have full access anyway. Just post them on up there.

You can tag anybody. It's cool. Tag your parts. Boy side, girl side. Enter here.

And while you're on there, if you could check my crops on City of Wonder, that'd be great. I love that game. I keep forgetting to play it. You guys are those dorks. I haven't got on it.

In such a long time. It's been a while. I need to. Yeah, I block all those applications. Yeah, really.

No, City of Wonder is awesome. Yeah, it's a lot. Because it's like Caesar, which is my favorite game of all time. It's a lot of fun. You just build this little thing and let them do their little thing.

I know. I cannot get into, like, any video game ever except for Caesar 3 and Pharaoh. I tried to do the Mafia thing on Facebook, but then somebody, like, I stole my money and I. Got upset, so I had to quit. The mafia thing is dumb because you don't get to walk around and actually interact, you just.

Just a space game, basically. Or, yeah. I didn't like it, somebody picked on me and stole my stuff. Yeah, see, that's why you need to be in the actual mafia, because you would just kill that motherfucker. I know.

So then I don't want to hear show me your weapons. I said I showed you my guns the other day. Not just these. Oh, you just missed the gun show, guys, at home. Don't.

Be shy, just let your. Feelings roll on by. Don't be shy. We'd like to hear from you. So give us a call at 502-365-5565.

Or you can email us at geeksatmoviemeltdown.com. And just stop by the website for our frequent updates. That's moviemeltdown.com. On by, on by, on by, on by. I think it was bad at work the other day.

I walked into the dining room, which was full of AARP patrons. And I looked at one of our servers and I said, I wonder how many bombs would have to go off to make this place fall down right now. And then we strategically mapped where we were going to place them. Like, minesweep. I suck at Minesweep.

I do too. I don't even understand how to play it. Or there's a government file that just opened on you right now. No, it was earlier when she was talking about. That's true i was thinking you were pushing your luck earlier when you threatened to bomb large buildings and take out tons.

Of people with uh they're like trying to bomb the discovery channel building yeah. I believe they did where were you that day yeah I. Can stand behind his beliefs, though. You want him to quit showing stupid-ass shit? Is that really what he was saying?

He wanted him to quit showing shows that glamorize having babies and shit. He's like, we're an overpopulation. He wanted to have more shows informing people the benefits of... contraceptive and shit. We definitely can get behind that he wanted. To tell people to not have kids instead of like glamorizing fucking kate and fucking 48 kids or whatever i'm just.

Kidding america i don't want to blow up anything yet keep pissing me off and we'll see though. I got my tank apparently so uh nice you might be able to rent that out to her I'm going to get. One from the National Guard. I'm going to get one for time. Hot wire.

Take her off to Misty and Joni to. Go to the door. It's a 120mm gun, not a 105. So, Randy, do your work. I don't think most of that came through too far away.

Yeah. I'm right next to you and I can't understand what the. Fuck is going on. There we go. Do we have any more feedback?

Do we need more than that? We don't, no, actually. That filled the deficit we've had for the past year. And a half. Hey, Randy, how about you add me as a friend, weirdo?

Yeah, jeez. I think he likes stalking you a little better, actually. He's my friend. He leaves me fun comments sometimes. He doesn't leave me comments.

I think you're his favorite now. I'm not his favorite. Well, now I'm the least attractive and the least funniest girl on the show. You have issues. You have inferiority complex.

I do. You're the most angry. But how's your ego and head so big? I don't know. It's weird.

It's a contradiction. I have an inferiority complex. I can't even talk. Inferiority complex coupled with a superiority complex. So I feel bad about myself, but I'm still better than everybody else.

I think we're all kind of on that boat. That's how we get ourselves in trouble. It's a strange, screwy complex. No, I think the only reason he does that is because I update. so often. We're all narcissistic, otherwise we wouldn't be here.

I just like the hearing of my own voice. I don't really care about you people at all. I said the hearing of my own voice. I'll do what I want. I'm Tony, goddammit.

I hate the. Sound of my own voice, but I can't stop talking. See, I figure that's what gets us in trouble every time. That's why we're here. If we weren't opinionated jackasses, we wouldn't be sitting in front of a microphone.

Well, see, in a couple of months, I'm starting a blog to document everything. Nice. It's not really going to be about me. It's just going to be about stuff. About life in general.

About life in general. And I'm just like, wow. This sounds like trouble. I want to do a video blog. Just day-to-day in my day-to-day life and then send it to somebody and get rich and famous.

You can put it on YouTube has channels. We still need to do like a promo for the show video. I agree. Because they get 10 bajillion hits and then we might actually get somebody out. Yeah, right.

Who we can piss off and then they won't listen to another episode. But we'll give them that first time. Did I piss somebody off. In that episode? Um they originally he said he wasn't going to listen anymore oh but then like today like but i left him a a not a stupid message i left him a real breakdown of why we did what we do or why i set it up like that and then he wrote back and was kind of like surprised that i didn't he was that offended by my kind of yeah and he's not ready he was just um displeased with the way we uh mouthed off so What are you going to do?

But if he's been listening to the show the whole time. He hasn't, though. That's the thing. That was his first episode. That was like.

That was his first. That's, yeah, harsh. See, that's the thing. I don't understand how to get people past the first episode because the people that are at like 10 are cool with it and they understand it. But number one, I can.

And that's what I said. I was like, I can understand having a bad reaction. We're very abrasive. Definitely. So it's like, okay, good.

Cause I was almost thinking that if it was somebody who'd been a listener, that would make sense. But yeah, if that was his first introduction. Yeah. Then I almost want to apologize. Just tell everybody to go back and look for the semi porn episode.

Yeah. That's probably the best one to start on. Yeah. One of our older episodes is definitely a much easier way to ease on. Which one?

Which episode is that? That was Wonder Woman. Yeah. Wonder Woman. Was I here for that one?

Yeah. You were here for the movie. It's the one that had Sid Hagen in it. Yeah. Did you fall asleep?

Yeah, I slept. Nice. And had sweet dreams about Sid Hagen and his fantastic mustache. Don't try to be like me. Maybe.

And you were dreaming about Sid Hagen and his fantastic mustache. Yes. I saw a Burt Reynolds toy yesterday at the flea market, and I was like, I wish. It was just a vibrator with a mustache on it. Yeah, did it have an oscillating mustache?

I love that idea. Just kidding. It's like a propeller. Oh my god, I'm marketing now. That might irritate your vajayjay.

You can sell it at your Funeral. Funeral. Funeral. You better trademark that coin. Seriously.

I think, like, party gifts at the Funeral. When we start hearing Little Wayne singing about Funeral, we know where it started. The grieving widow has to move on somehow. Or maybe you could cross over. You could have, like, a bachelorette party slash Funeral.

I know. You know, I once went to a bridal... Sorry, I was too close. I once went to a bridal shower, and I got her a whole bunch of, like, sympathy cards and like funeral gifts. We can tie this in yeah.

But uh what who sings that you fancy song. You fancy now you fit that one. You fancy now. You fancy. It's Tia.

Okay, because yesterday I was looking for my friends because they were lost. And I found them sitting on a bench on some weird guy's lap. And I was like, where have you guys been? And all they would say is, you fancy now. Wait, what?

And it was really annoying. It was really annoying. Wait, let me cue up the Twilight Zone theme. Hold on. Do-do.

They were singing in an. Old guy's lap and they wouldn't say anything other than you fancy them. Yeah, I was like, where have you been? You fancy. We fancy.

Were they your friends anymore? Yeah, they were my friends. They were really drunk. How happy was this old man? He wasn't an old man.

He was a young guy. Was Timmy anywhere near? No. No, they lost Timmy hours ago. Timmy was at home.

Timmy was spinning in a circle out on the boat dock somewhere. But the guy put his hand on my friend's leg. She goes, and he started rubbing her leg. She said, you can touch it, but you can't rub it. I'm married.

Oh, my God. You can touch it, but you can't rub it. I'm married. Timmy was outside playing with bird poop. Don't worry about it.

He was all good. Spraying people in the face with that pepper spray. That's what she gets for getting his fucking name wrong. Oh, did I forget to talk about that? Yeah, that happened.

Oh, Lord. Oh, Jesus. I was like, that's just payback. No. You accidentally called him the wrong name.

When you call your son the wrong name. He springs you in the face with pepper spray. Yeah, that seems about right. Eye for an eye, literally. Wow.

Self-esteem for an eye. Yeah, that's what I mean. Eye for an eye. That was too complicated. I know.

I love complicated references. That's true. I love you, Randy. Yeah. Okay, kids, get out your Dakota bins.

Oh, what's the Knight Rider? No, it's... Yeah, it's awesome. Okay, sorry. I go there in my head.

I can't get out of it. All right, we're. Just going to do another hour of theme songs. Poorly recreated. Straightening the curtains.

The next two weeks. Two weeks. Next week, we're going to watch The Bad Seed. And the week after that, we're. Going to watch something else.

All right, smarty pants. Since you're on top of it, finish it. She doesn't remember the name of the movie. That's not my fault. That one movie with that one kid from the.

My name is Brian, and I like to skateboard. I would never do anything to someone I'm friends with. Like, poop my pants. Mystery Team. Mystery Team, yeah.

It is, in fact, Mystery Team. So next week is. The Bad Seed. And the week after that is. Mystery Team.

See? We've got it all worked out now. Cool. Repeated at home games in Spanish. Play at home game.

I think that is it but now i figured in the 90s they made some horrible reading i read the book you know a. Movie i really want to see brian um the one where the guy has love and hate tattooed. On his knuckles we can work that in it's night of the hunter yeah i got it i have i will i haven't watched. It yet but i've owned it for over a year it's pretty damn. Impressive so All right, anything else to wrap up our shark-to-push clam bake here?

Shark-to-push clam bake. I ate fishes. We ate many fishes. And breaded shrimp. We should have had goldfish crackers.

Except for Roger, who was eaten by a fish. Sort of. Metaphysically. A shark-to-push? Metaphorically.

Metaphysically. Did you go in the octopus way? Which door did you take? I came in the shark wave that went out the octopus way. The octopus way?

Oh my god. Were you in Sharktopus's ovaries? Because clearly it's a girl. Tracked in the octa-woo. How is it clearly a girl?

How is it clearly a girl? Because it's such a bitch. See, never about a no rhyme or reason. Or it was the octa-vajay. God.

Octa-vaj. I'm never going to go down ever again. Sorry teeth we need to get a hold of her because she's from here too i didn't realize. That vagina dentata the teeth. Girl yeah she's from louisville really.

That's in the water i don't know yeah the actual dentata is that the actual. Like it's not real so people. Are born with like their their half-formed uh Twin, like, down there. In the vajayjay? Why, is that what you're into?

Because that's just kind of gross. I've got a website for you. I'm into many different things. There is, like, a video for it, but it's fake. It was, like, a promo for it.

But it was really convincing, though. It's like a bear trap. If you have teeth in your vagina, get teeth a cell. That's what I can come up with. And then for old people, they have a special denture attachment later down the line.

God, but I love. supernatural show that was that we just watched it was all they were the trickster trapped in fake tv shows and commercial like doing commercials or they've got genital herpes and it's. Hilarious yeah so sam's like oh i've got genital. Herpes and it's like a fake herpes commercial. Why would they go along with it well because the the thing is you have to learn to play your role because sam and dean are both very influential in the apocalypse and the end of the world And they're refusing to play their roles as muscles for Satan. Come on, guys.

Just go along with the game. Exactly. That's basically it. Kind of like a lesson episode. It was awesome.

But they refused. Dr. Sexy MD. Dr. Sexy MD.

Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Grey's Anatomy, we're probably. Yeah.

Anyway, I think that's all we have. I think we ran out of good stuff a long time ago. Yeah, pretty much. We never. Actually, this is.

Do we ever have good stuff? No. About a year and a half ago. What? We had good stuff.

I disagree. I think in the last, like, several months we've hit a stride of shows that are unparalleled unparalleled. It has become way more entertaining and fun as far as I'm concerned me too but. I laugh every weekend that's what. I'm saying I laugh at myself I think we have way more fun.

I laugh and then I go home and cry myself to. Sleep I would be thoroughly entertained if we didn't record this which by the. I wouldn't doubt it. Just give us a little something to do. None of us would know.

We would never be the wiser if this wasn't a real show. If we didn't get hate mail, we'd never know. I got hate mail. Not really. We all got hate mail.

It's love hate mail. More love. But he did sort of come back around by the second response. I don't know that he'll listen again, but he at least sort of admitted that. Can we read it before we go?

No, I don't want to read it. Yeah, you don't want to read it, but yeah. I would like to. Oh, let's see. Am I called the most horrible person in the world?

Only by her during the show. Me? I never said that. Let's see. I can't remember at this point.

We called ourselves out on many occasions. If I did, I was joking. You thought it was funny at the time. Ben's just jokes. Yeah.

If I thought that, I would have got you a clock. I love the clock. I know. I think you followed that up with, I'm going to hell. Yeah.

Heck in a handbasket. I totally am. I'll save you all seed. It's okay. I called us out as hell party of four.

I've got a. Booster seat waiting. Hell party of four. No. I've got a booster seat.

Remember that comic thing that I got from the Horror Hound Convention? It was about hell. It was like one of those fake religious tracks. It was like, and then I was in hell, and Gigi Allen was there, and every awesome person who's ever lived. And I'm like, hell sounds so fun.

Yay! It was funny. I still have it. Well, wrap it on up. Are we done?

Is it wrapped up? It's like 10.45 at night. Alright, so I think we've played enough little snippets of it in the last couple of months that we need to just fully go out with the Sharktopus theme song. Performed by the Cheeto. The Cheeto sneezes.

My bad, America. That seems diseased. I don't like that at all. Performed by the Cheeto whores. That doesn't sound any better or less diseased.

I didn't say it was, but at least it's the accurate thing if. You're looking for hippie old iTunes music. All right. Otherwise, I guess that about does it. See you next week.

We will return next week. Same geek time, same geek beat. Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye, Randy.

Bye. There's a creature, creature with a double feature He freaks out, he's one flesh to feast He twists it fair, she suffers, there's a sign When you see that fancy. Beating, you will be the next beating Charged to push. Won't be kept in faith And you can. Never, ever, ever get away So.

Swim on over, don't you scream and shout Gonna get your baby without a doubt So swim on over, don't you scream and shout Gonna get your baby without a doubt. Come on. There's a creature, a creature with a double piece. A freakish beast, one flesh and piece. A twisted fair sheath, so much as.

A Thai dish. When you see that fancy beating, you will. Be the next bleeding. Just a blue, gold beak, that's that fair. Swim on over, don't you scream and shout.

Get your baby without a doubt. Swim on over, don't you scream and shout. Get your baby without a doubt. Swim on over, don't you scream and shout. This show is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by Brian Renfro, featuring contact music performed by Tamara Deering.

To help support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com for ways that you can contribute or advertise with us.