About this episode
Movie Meltdown - Episode 598 (For our Patreon "Horror Club") This episode we discuss House of Wax, the 2005 film directed by Jaume Collet-Serra and starring Elisha Cuthbert, Jared Padalecki, Chad Michael Murray and Paris Hilton. And while we order our box set of Cousin Skeeter, we also mention… Noroi: The Curse, Old, celebrity sex tapes, murdered imaginary friends, another Florida rant, being ripped, being really good at swimming, the extra brother, bodily functions in this universe, the questionable timetable, Supernatural, the hubris of young people, not getting cast in Hollywood, One Tree Hill, duct taping children, building a whole town, bones turning to dust, Gilmore Girls, opinions of rich people, the volume on that outfit, Japanese folk horror, The Girl Next Door, she moves in such a weird way, horror remakes, the WB, the football game, a wilderness camp for troubled teens, the death pile, M. Night Shyamalan, a paranormal TV show and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? Spoiler Alert: Full spoilers for "House of Wax", so go watch the movie before you listen. "Horny teens are a classic horror trope."
Transcript
Automatically generated, so expect the odd misheard name.
I've written a letter to Daddy. His address is heaven. Above I've written, dear Daddy, we miss you I wish you were with us through love. Instead of a stamp, I put kisses. I guess as we get into this, we should tell everybody about the movies that we could watch unless they give us a better option.
Because normally I'll go through the ones that I've run into in the real world and I'll look at the, I usually will find these weird ones in stores and I'll be like, what the hell is this? And it's a legit question most of the time. I don't even know that some of them are movies. But this time I'm looking through the list. I'm like, we usually at least try to find a tie in or some sort of weird theme to what we're actually watching this week.
Nothing really fit. So I was like, I wonder what other stuff could be tied to this movie that we watched this episode. And, you know, you find you go online. Don't get me wrong. The Internet is a wonderful place and I make use of it.
All the time. But a lot of times people who think they're like, 10 horror movie remakes you never knew existed. I'm like, really? The fog? Because I knew it existed.
You're not blowing my mind here. Every once in a while, I'll get the one that I'm like, oh, you have dug deep. Good for you. So there were tons and tons of those same remakes from the beginning of this century that we all know about. But I did get to this and I went, oh, well, this has a direct tie into our movie of the week.
In 1991, there is a made for TV redone version of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Oh, really? Yes. I did not know that. And I guess impressively at the time, it stars the Redgrave sisters.
Really? As the sisters. So I'm like, that's an even more direct route than the original one. So there's a threat. And truthfully, I watched the little promo on ABC, and it's like, tonight's movie of the week.
And I was like, you know, this at least looks interesting. I don't know that I'm going to say better, because I'm a pretty big fan of the original, but I would watch it, so... I've. Never seen the original. It's one of those ones, it's like one of these days.
It is worth seeing. It is, especially for as old as it is, it is pretty crazy. It is a nice portrayal of weird and crazy for that long ago. Yeah, I haven't seen that either, but I want to. I know I would like it.
The original version? The remake, I'm looking at stills from the remake and it looks fairly creepy. Yeah, so. There was a good one to throw out. I was like, you know, I could go either way on that.
Yeah. Usually it's a threat that I don't want to see, but watching the promo, I'm like, I'd watch this. So if you think we should watch that, you know, join the Meltdown Horror Club and suggest that is the movie we actually need to watch. There's so much going on in that picture. Ooh.
If you think the... Oh, yeah. Disturbing. If you think that remake is a terrible idea and it's a travesty to ever try to remake the original, then... You should join the Meltdown Horror Club and give us a better option than this remake that you think we shouldn't watch.
These are your options. It's good to have options. That's what we're hoping for as we get into these episodes where we say crazy things like this. And it's kind of slow and it's a lot of different sources of this footage. So you're like following a guy who has like a paranormal TV show.
And kind of seeing his cases, but then it cuts to like a variety show TV thing where they're testing psychic skills of children, which I guess happens in Japan sometimes. I don't know. And then so it kind of is back and forth and you're putting it all together. Right. I almost feel like instead of making that a twist ending, if they had incorporated that into the story as it was happening, you might have been like, ooh, okay.
Maybe not from the get-go, but maybe midway in, you might be like, oh. Into the second act, maybe throw it in there. Dude, but it does like a really cool way of like throwing you into this scenario. And that's really the only thing that ties all of this together. It's always just sort of like, weird story arc that you're like oh i feel bad for this guy and as he goes on you're like he keeps making these horrible decisions that you're like i don't know what to do with you as a character anymore so.
Fun but i saw it when i was 14 it was like one of the first horror movies i watched with my best friend at a sleepover we've watched it many times since it's campy it's fun i like the setting. Technicality they even address in the movie well i think it takes about 39 years for bones to turn to dust and i don't know if that's true or not but you've already established something and then but that. Whole thing it was like these women are hot i want to do violence to them yes i. Don't like her but i still want to do her and that makes me angry yes i don't know yeah if your family's messed up your family's messed up and it's going to not necessarily get better or worse, but it's going to be weird and different and possibly even more intensified when you're in this little isolated world or they ship you off to weird places because they have money to do that.
Just, ah, she's causing trouble. Let's sweep that under the rug. We'll get rid of her and send her off somewhere. Although one of the women who's kind of a central character is an actress going by her own name. So I don't know how meta that is, because I don't know how famous she was.
And then when we find out they're from Florida, I'm like, oh, really? If I cared about everybody who died horrifically or mysteriously in Florida, I would get nothing else done. But it is weird. Like, she was kind of, like, thrown into these lead roles and was sort of poised to be a huge star. And then it just didn't work out.
Yeah. And it's really creepy. It's a creepy, very well-done, spooky... There's some kind of like folk horror stuff going on there. What the hell's a cousin's keeper?
He's a little, he's his cousin coming from out of town to visit, but he's a puppet, but no one else is a puppet and it's never spoken of. That's what I'm thinking of now. I was like, well, it does add an extra layer of creepy to things now. With his character, it wouldn't take all that long because his eye holes or his eyes are still exposed. And he was still alive kind of.
Yeah, that sucked. I was just like, what? Especially when his buddy's like, I'll help you, and peels his face off. And then says, oh, my bad. I'll help.
And then just keeps doing it. I know, he keeps doing it. Face off. Because he kills them in such violent ways. Like, he literally chops the one guy's head off.
And I'm like, you're making your job harder for yourself. Wow, the volume on that outfit. There's so much going on. Is it easy to cut a person's... Or is it that easy to cut a person's tendons?
I don't know, but everybody... I don't know anybody who's not horrified by the thought of that. Everybody who's ever seen Pet Simulator still talks about that. Nothing else in that movie has stuck with people over the years, but they're just like, ugh! Everybody freaks out.
I'm just saying, in this movie, they just walk up behind him with a pair of scissors and just snip it. I don't even know how big it is. Does it run the whole length, or is there a certain spot? I feel like... With the F for me with the scissors, you'd be like, excuse me, what are you doing?
Yeah, with scissors, it'd be a little more fighting. If you had like a scalpel. You'd be like, what is this pet cemetery bullshit? Yeah, it's like, hey, hey, hey, hey. You know, permanent monster, get off me.
No. Stop, stop, stop. Just once, I'd love to see a reaction like that in a slasher film. Just, no, you go over there. Get away from me.
Put those down. Stop it. A little spray bottle? I want you to think about what you've done. He's still working.
Wow, good for him. This is not what I would expect a show Cousin Skeeter to be at all. I don't know. And how did this sail past my radar? 1998.
Someone put Cousin Skeeter on the list. It can count as horror. Oh, no. Okay, moving on. Before I get sucked down the baby Jane rabbit hole.
That's what happens, see? You'll be baby Janed up real quick. So, go to MovieMeltdown.com, join the Meltdown Horror Club, and give us a movie to watch. Better, worse, or that one. Whatever you want to do.
Even if you just hate us and want us to suffer. That seems like it happens sometimes, and not even... I think we do that to ourselves. There's some Spangoolie somewhere pulling the strings on this nonsense. Pull the strings.
Pull the strings whatever happened to baby jane she could dance she could sing make the biggest theater ring jane could do most anything whatever happened to baby jane whatever happened to baby jane when she'd walk at her feet. There was no one half as sweet.
