Achtung Scooby Gang (Promo)

Because it's time for the movie threat. The most important part of anyone's week. Oh, sure. Because, yeah, as you know, we have to come up with movies. We're putting our list together now.

We've still got holes because people out there are slackers and are not giving us movies. So then I have to go out. Into the world and find movies and be like, look, do you want us to watch this crap? So this outing, I actually, as you know, I go to a lot of ridiculous stores. Some are just kind of ghetto.

So this one, thrifty as it was, they had a ton of movies. Like I hadn't been to this place in like a long time and I forgot they even had anything. And then I started looking. Through and I'm like, I don't think they know what they've got. These are actually kind of good options.

And then I'm like, oh, these are all cheap. So I got, this will put it in perspective, not like I'm blowing a ton of money. I ended up with like. A old school grocery bag. Of DVDs I got some VHS tapes.

I don't even have a player at this point. I was just like, this is cool and I like the cover. And it was super cheap. So the thing was stacked with movies. I got like a pair of shoes and a remote control and a paddle ball game.

I had like all of this stuff. Oh, and a drinking glass with Darren McGavin on it. Oh, fantastic. No joke on that one. I was like, well, I'm not passing this up.

Obviously I need this. So all of this crap, $ 18. Nice. I was like, so I'm not blowing tons of money. I'm just super thrifty with my buying of crap.

So, but to put it in perspective, all of those. Movies I got, I still didn't get this one. That's what we're dealing with here. But very fitting for our current movie. Of the week, as we get into Roxy Hunter, or as it is officially titled, Roxy Hunter and the Mystery of the Moody Ghost Movie.

Here, if you want to see Roxy. Here she is. Aww. It seems like something I would have bought, actually. That was there, though, and you didn't buy it?

Yeah, that was there and I didn't buy it. But when I turned it around, I was like, wow, this looks really bad. And that's coming from me, who watches mostly children's programming. But the plot breakdown here, if we want to go into it, After moving to an eerie old house in the country, nine-year-old super sleuth. Roxy stumbles onto a world filled with unsolved mysteries, secret plots, and spooky spirits.

Yes, that's what it said. Spooky spirits! Now Roxy and her best friend and boy genius Max must race to save their home, reunite a lost love, and uncover a true villain in the mystery of the moody ghost or something like that. So the moody ghost it looks pretty. Bad actually after i didn't buy it i went and watched the trailer online and it looks pretty bad like it wasn't even nickelodeon level it says as seen on nickelodeon but it wasn't even like one of theirs it's like something in the early days they picked up because they needed to fill time it's that level.

Of budget so apparently there's four roxy hunter movies that Also doesn't surprise me. Roxy Hunter and the Mystery of the Moody Ghost. Roxy Hunter and the Secret of the Shaman. Oh. Roxy Hunter and the Myth of the Mermaid.

Roxy Hunter and the Horrific Halloween. Fun. So they're big on alliteration. All of those. We could be watching.

All of those because you guys won't give us a better option is what I'm saying. We could be running through the entire quadrology of Roxy Hunter because you won't give us a better option. And just to clarify, the full title has the word movie in it? That one did. Okay.

I don't know about the other ones. Well, on Wikipedia, it just says Roxy Hunter and the Mystery of the Moody Ghost. But on the cover, it says movie. Yep. I'm looking at it now.

The last word is movie. Maybe it was also a series. Maybe they had to specify. This isn't your old weekly Roxy Hunter show. This is a theatrical film that we put together with Roxy.

The movie. The movie. This is a great way to start a synopsis. In 1944, a woman who was planning to get engaged was stopped by her father's gun. Oh, my.

Well, kids. Not murdered by her father, but stopped by his gun. He smacked her upside the head with it. Like, stop. Yeah.

A little pistol whipping gets you back in order. You don't need to marry him. Jesus. See what we're left with. Just.

Join the Meltdown Horror Club and give us better movies to watch, is what we're saying. Otherwise, we're stuck with Roxy. Or, again, like I always say, if you want to join up and tell us to watch worse movies, that's fine, too. We'll do it. We would like you to be part of our clubhouse.

And once you're in there, you'll hear us say amazing things like this. Finally. You ever watch one of those movies that you're like, I gotta see this. Then you see it. This has been on my list forever.

Yeah, but you finally see it and you're like, oh, it was more fun when I didn't see this. I played that game to some extent. Because there were parts of this movie that were like, this is getting kind of sweet. And then if a puppet would have just shown up, I'd have been like, this is the best movie ever. Which I often say about puppets.

You hear like a rumbling noise and then you see... thousands of bunny rabbits just go hopping through and it matches up but that's. Amazing yeah but no at the same time. And here's what you get oh my god it is life-size rabbits wearing people clothes walking around talking and doing things. That movie was good, but I wish they would have shown the monster that it's supposed to be about more. This is the opposite.

This is the opposite. At a certain point, you're like, will I please stop showing all these giant bunnies? Also, when they broke into her house and were looking around, at one point they opened a door and there was a shelf of a bunch of jars. Those looked like fetuses, right? Kind of.

Was that just me? I was like. That's the death by STD, right? Yes, essentially. Like supernatural STD.

It's trying so hard to make some sort of statement about. Our current culture. All of the people involved in this are social media influencers, blah, blah, whatever. So it's trying to make some sort of... Trying to make a statement about that, I think.

I don't even know what it is. It's just presenting it as though it has some sort of opinion on social media or influencers or whatever. I don't know that it really does. I just read the premise of this. Yeah, it's stupid.

Apparently, this was used in a psychological study. I can understand that. Two, this was used as a stimulus in a psychological experiment on the effects of acetaminophen on existential crisis. Oh, God. Yeah.

And maybe whatever it was doing is only available overseas now and we can't watch it here, so. Oops. Oh, well. I even, and like I said, I even tried the porno tube sites and nothing. I mean.

Now, granted, I didn't try. I didn't try all of the porno tube sites. I mean, I was already there, so I typed it in. But, you know. Well, yeah.

But there was, no joke, a secret passage from one room into a next where you could have someone completely locked away and then you could open that to give them their, like, tray. Of food as you keep them prisoner. For years on end. Just saying. I'm working on my gruel recipes.

This is how Nora rolls. The fact that you want to perfect. Gruel is impressive. You don't want it to be good. How do I make it the most bland and horrible experience I can for these people that I've trapped in my basement?

Yeah. Let's say your mom kills her lover's family. Okay. Do you keep living next door to the house and then renting it out to new people while leaving possible evidence in the house at the same time? What if mom worked in a cave?

You know, like moms do. Caves and stuff. I feel like he had a really good idea with the whole having sex with the prostitute. Yeah, it's not So don't put that on the list. I'm getting tired of comments about our society.

Again, there's a good way to do it. At least it has something to say. This doesn't even have anything to say. It's just trying to say a lot about it and hope that comes together as a comment. But it's not.

It's just. If you're from that part of the world, break it down for us. Please let us know. We're dumb Americans, really. Join the Horror Club and suggest another movie for us to watch.

Could be Austrian. Could be whatever you want. I don't care. Go to MovieMeltdown.com. Click the Patreon link and join the Meltdown Horror Club.

Save us from Roxy. Please. More than this. You know there's nothing more than this. Tell me one thing more than this.

No, there's nothing.