Off on a Tangent

Let's do this. Bring us in. Are you ready to roll? Boop. Boop.

Boop. Hi, this is Tom Kane, the voice of Yoda. And listening to Movie Meltdown. You are good. It's showtime.

The following feature has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised. Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power. And there's one thing I do know, son, and that is you are here for a reason. What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown.

I'm Brian. I'm Patrick. I'm David. The trio of terror is back. We are coming to you live from Patrick's, what are we calling this for him now?

The basement. Oh, the lower level. The lower level. The lower level. I've got a sign.

The underground. It's not up yet. It's not up, but I have a sign. We're so underground. We're so underground.

We were underground before it was cool. Live from Patrick's lower level, where we're going to be watching this wonderful film. The Raid. But before we get to that, we haven't hung out for a while now, so what's up with you guys? How's it been?

What have you watched? All I do is work. I sleep and work. And then no movies. That's not life.

I just saw the brand new Lord of the Rings. Oh man. Are we going to talk about that too? No, it was rough. We're going to skip that.

I saw Hunger Games. Oh my gosh. We could do a whole other episode. I could rant about The Hobbit. That trilogy offends me so hard.

You get offended by everything. No, I'm really not. You know, I think what made it worse is that, you know, in between the second and third movie, I revisited the original Lord of the Rings books. Like, I went back and read them all. Because I hadn't read them since high school.

And so I remember going into the original trilogy, like, oh, man, it was a great representation of the books. And then I read them again. I'm like. It was an okay representation of the book. See, that's what you get for reading.

I'm going to pause him right there and I'm going to say within the next 45 seconds, he's going to bring up how the old where they like filmed it and then animated over it was better and that's going to lead into the witch movie that ripped off Harry Potter or whatever. Harry Potter ripped it off. Now, the original Hobbit animated one is good. The Littlest Witch? And even The Return of the King is good, but that Lord of the Rings Ralph Baschi thing, that was terrible.

That rotoscope nonsense. Yeah. Now in rotoscope sounds like a intestinal surgery you know it's scope later this year. Oh yeah it's like you know with the hobbit movies it was so they're so pretty and they're so well made but it's just like it's weird because it's the same thing with michael bay i don't i wish i had a switch i can turn it off like i'm sure they're fantastic great entertaining movies if you could turn your brain off from the source material if you could just do that i'm sure they're great But it's like, I haven't figured out how to do that disconnect yet. So it's like, I'm watching this.

I mean, don't get me wrong. That, spoiler free, but the Matrix-ish fight with all the ringwraiths was awesome. I'm like marking out as a geek, like, oh my God, this fight is amazing. But at the same time, there's this other part of me that's like kicking myself and... Why was that in the movie?

Exactly. See, that was my thing. I was like, this is so amazing. But it was a little bit of that Yoda thing, too, where like, you know, here's like Saruman's, you know, Christopher Lee's old elderly self, you know, and then next thing you know, he's like roundhouse and jumping around, bouncing off walls, doing Matrix stuff. And you're like, oh my gosh.

I think him and Agent Smith, they had like something in their contract where we need to be in the movie for six minutes, Mr. Anderson. Give me a sword and let me at him. Right. Right.

Because in the second one or the first one, they totally play up that whole, oh. We're going to have the necromancer. It's going to be this thing. And then you see the third one, you're. Like, oh, he was in it for 36 seconds.

I just thought. It was weird when Trinity wandered in the background. Right? The Merovingians running. Like instead of a cat going up the staircase twice, like a goblin walks by twice.

And they're like, didn't we just see that goblin? It's when they change something. Yeah, deja vu. Okay, okay, okay. The raid.

That's later. We're going to watch it. I mean, we're... For super geek... And actually, it's been a while, so we've been bouncing around in different places.

I don't think I've sat down since I've seen it. I haven't talked with anybody about the new Seven trailer. Episode Seven. Oh, fuck my life, Seven. Do you guys want to go into that for a moment?

You know, what got me about it is that Black storm trooper. It just felt like a teaser, not a trailer. Even though it was the official trailer, like this is still so teaser. You cannot put. Is it just the tip?

Pretty much. It was just the tip because you cannot, you can't come up with any even guesses at story from that. Every scene was so independent of the next scene that it was impossible to even go, you know, oh, well it's going to be about this. Like everyone is still completely confused as to what this is going to be. What more do you want?

Oh man. You know. Is that a switch I can turn off on movie? I'm a huge Abrams fan. I loved Early Lost and I loved Fringe.

And in Fringe, it was on purpose. That's the thing. Everyone thinks it's just... I can't defend Star Trek. I don't know why...

I mean, they are in space. I can't defend the solar flares in Star Trek. But in Fringe, it was on purpose. There was something that that meant. When there were solar flares, in the context of the story, that meant that there was something going on.

Spoiler free, but... He's like, that looks cool. It's so long in between Abrams movies that when I get really depressed, I just have my wife's China flashlight in my eyes. It makes it. All better.

I got a little scared when he said he was going to do Star Wars because it's like, I love the first Star Trek movie, but the second Star Trek movie has so many plot holes. It's a good movie, but the plot holes are massive. Name one plot hole. Um. Immortality?

Who? Who? Immortality. By the end of the movie, everyone can have it? They created immortality, but it's like people are supposedly dying?

That's what got me. We recreated that death scene from Wrath of Khan, switched, but we recreated it. I'm like, but wait, this dude over here, his whole body is seething with immortality. What does it matter? We can bring this dude right back to life.

What does it mean? Okay, second plot hole. That's my point. Well, no, no. The thing is that it'd be super geeky stuff.

Like, it was like the whole beginning. It's been so long since I watched in my head. We could watch that tonight. Not in Thai. But it was like the way they, like I said, Star Trek dorking me.

I forget all that. Don't worry. It had to do with the whole. Like, why are they down on that? It was like, yeah, the volcano place and whatever was going on there.

They had to distract the people. It was like they weren't supposed to be seen, but they had parked the ship next to the volcano. It was just all this weird stuff where it was like, how did they land that ship underwater without them seeing it? Even if you're invisible, you just submerged a huge vessel into the water. There's just so much going on there.

I was like, all right, this is a no-brainer. Would you rather see a movie with just invisibility, or would you rather see the Enterprise under the ocean? How cool is that? And they dive off the cliff and they. Swim down to it.

Scotty doesn't like it. I wanted more Klingons. That Klingon stuff was a tease. It's coming in the third one. It's coming.

You know it's coming. I wanted that so bad there. Does it not bother people that he's not directing the third one or any more Star Wars movies? Is he not doing another Star Wars movie? I thought he was doing.

No, no, he's just doing the first one. He's only doing the first one. They've already given. No, you know Godzilla's doing the second one. No, no, it's...

It's not Gareth? No, it's not Gareth. I'm actually more interested in what comes up in like 8 and 9 because they're giving it to. Who's the guy? Who's the guy?

It's somebody that just did a movie with a heavy CG. You have to be a lot more specific than that. It's the Bruce Willis movie where he like. No, I didn't know that, though. I thought Abrams was all three.

Abrams is the first one, and then it's. So whose choice was that? Did he decide to dip out, or did they just go, hey, thanks for part seven, you can go along now? I think that was his choice. I think he wanted to relaunch the franchise.

I'm sure he'll stay on as executive producer, but I think he wants to get different directors giving different takes on everything. Interesting. I mean, you know, the original trilogy was not directed at all by the same person. No. And it got better once we ditched Lucas.

But then it kind of took a turn. Yeah. So who knows? I think that kind of stuff would be so tough to do. I was going to say, with all the side movies and stuff that they're talking about doing, it's too bad we couldn't do a Shadow of the Empire on film.

I thought that storyline was really neat. Except it doesn't exist. Well, nothing does now. Didn't he come out and say that? For years, he's been okaying all this comic books, novels.

Well, that's why he's making. Money with it, too. Now he doesn't make money off anything. But I guess that was the Disney people, really, right? Because that happened when they bought it.

Yeah, I guess they were the ones that were like, they shut down. Everyone that did the comics wasn't like Dark Horse and stuff. They shut everything down. No one's stories pertaining to Luke of Star Wars stuff is canon as of now. It's like only the trilogy.

I assume they still acknowledge the prequels, unfortunately. It's like, can we just count that as fan fiction too? It's like, you know, in that other fan fiction we did, we can go and say those don't count either. And go and take that back home. I thought all the hype about his lightsaber was funny though.

Like how many people got upset with that cross guard. Well, I kind of knew it was coming because it's the repeat of the trailer for Phantom Menace. It's like we had that long period where we didn't have anything. And then they're like, all right, well, we can't just show lightsabers. We got to one-up it.

And we had that shot of the other lightsaber kicks in. And we're like, oh, shit. So we had to kind of do that again or we were going to be going backwards. Yeah. You know you love those extra little blades on the lightsaber, don't you, Ben?

They're going to come out with a gun blade lightsaber pretty. Soon, I hope. I heard somebody say they're going to make a gun that shoots lightsabers to one-up it. It's just a laser gun. No, it has to fire a lightsaber.

I'm Han. Solo. Is it Rain Johnson? Does that sound right? Star Wars Episode VIII to be written and directed by Rain Johnson.

It's Ryan. It's his weird spelling. I'm an idiot. So he has to be a cool kid. He's going to make it rain, but not.

Looper. That's it. Looper, dude. Fucking Looper. God, fucking Looper.

But that's the thing. I thought Looper was pretty impressive, just plot-wise. And then if you go back, he's also the one that did Brick, which is like phenomenal. Brick is actually phenomenal. Which one was Brick?

Brick is the same kid from Looper, young Bruce Willis. And somebody gets murdered, but Brick... you learn all these cool slang words, and that's pretty much why they made the movie. Well, no, it's basically, it's film noir, but it's film noir. It's like a basic old school, like, 30s, 40s film noir movie, but it's set in modern day high school. It's awesome.

Really? So all the little, like, games that go on in those, like, in the underworld, dealing with the bad guys, it's like kids getting class, kids doing, you know, dealing drugs in the hallway. Like, everything is still represented, but it's in a modern high school version. Wasn't Newsies kind of in a weird way like it was kids acting like adults no. That's more bugsy malone really.

But it'll be fun when you've got like a little baby luke skywalker acting like it's a western noir and not yoda oh god they're gonna ruin it. Again no i mean really that's the thing i i got to the point i was like i don't i'm fine with this like i i'm fine with taking lucas out of the equation because he came up with some great stuff i won't totally trash him He did some really amazing stuff. Luckily, me's are not in the noose of movies. No, I'm talking like in the 70s. He did some really great movies in the 70s.

He turned it over to somebody good in 80. And then it's kind of steadily gone downhill since then. So it's like I really, I think it's best to take his universe and give it to other people and let other people do it. And I was okay even with the Disney thing because I'm like Disney is the only- They're the only people that have money to throw behind it. They're the only people that are also, at this point, seemingly smart enough to let them do their thing.

They haven't messed up Marvel. They're just like, do your own thing. We just want to cash the checks. I'm fine with all of these things. It's all promising.

It could go wrong, but I think it's more promise than we've seen in 25 years from Star Wars. I have hope. A new hope. I feel like Disney is the new Medici family. Like they are like the great sponsors of great art.

Like seriously, Disney. You want to take a Tony Stark and do something beautiful? Here's the money. Like seriously, like, you know, when I first got Marvel, I was like, here we go. You know, I was expecting all these cartoons and kind of like doing their kiddie thing.

But when they just kind of like, you know, we're like, hey, Joss, go do what you want. I was like, oh my gosh, like this is fantastic. Like you are just trusting your artists to do the art. You know, it's like just. Just back them up.

Let them do their thing. They're going to take care of you. Only they would have bought Godzilla. Minus the Ant-Man hiccup. But otherwise, they've been pretty solid.

Not a fan of the Ant-Man thing? Wow. What's the hiccup? All I'm going to say is I was really not looking forward to Guardians of the Galaxy, and I took a bet. that it was going to be the downfall of Marvel. And you lost.

And I've never been so wrong, Master Bilbo. Not only is it amazing, because I just re-watched it about a week ago. I did too. I just watched it last. Week again too.

I just saw it on the old internets. It was like, it's going to come in as the top grossing movie of the year. Nice. And I'm like, that? I wouldn't even have guessed that.

It deserves it. It does. It's really well put together. Like, even on top of, like, just being a geek and, like, liking the property and all that, but, like, it's well written. It's well structured as a movie.

I understand this whole juxtaposition with, like, how lighthearted Marvel is and how dark DC is. And wrong, usually. And wrong. But I think it's genius for them to, like, have their main movies are, like, 5% comedy, 95% true-to-source material or action-oriented or whatever. Mm-hmm.

But I think it's wise of them to throw in the filler movies just being fucking hilarious. And I was so wrong. It's beautiful. I remember somewhere about halfway into that movie when I realized there was enough into it where I could start forming an opinion. I remember having Star Wars feelings.

There was part of me that was just like, this is what Star Wars was. It was like, every time they go somewhere, it's like, oh my gosh, what's this place going to be like? Who's going to be here? What kind of people and things are going to go on there? Why is that thing shaped like a skull?

Everything was so... was awesome it's like so much interesting stuff and part of me is just like i i think it's your move star wars i think you know guardians of the galaxy just kind of kind of up to anything they're on they would. Put ron perlman in that as his character from godzilla yeah the only room from improvement would have been well. That's the next one you gotta have room to go somewhere yeah i guess so well that's that's the thing that's what i heard was um people with kids sitting in the theater watching their kids and being like this is their star wars like this is going to be That moment, 20, 30 years from now when geeks are sitting around talking about like, well, I remember the first time I saw Guardians of the Galaxy when I was a kid.

And like, people still do that with Star Wars now. And it's like, it will be interesting to see what becomes that. And if Star Wars itself can do that or if it's just going to be Guardians of the Galaxy. This is the sound of me shaking my head. What's kind of another interesting thing that kind of another similarity between Guardians and Star Wars is apparently they've chose not to go with the source material on his father.

And so maybe we could have that Darth Vader weird twist thing where we find out his father. Cause I mean, they seriously said it's like, it's not going to be Nova or whoever his dad is in the comic. They already said, it's like, no, we're, we're actually changing that. You know, his dad is going to be someone different. So, you know, you could almost set up a weird Darth Vader ish thing, have someone completely weird, bad guy ish, end up being his dad and be some kind of stunner for the kids.

No more prequel action. I want to go forward. No doubt. I will be happy if Guardians of the Galaxy never mixes with any other Marvel property. They kind of said that.

Well, no, but they've already said, like, Guardians 2 is still not going to have any connection to Avengers. What will be smart, and what I think they're going to do, is just when all of this stuff comes to a head at the end, you know, when they're fighting Thanos... Then when they drop in, I mean, so much backstory. I mean, even if they literally just drop in for the fight, you will have to clean the entire floor of the theater because everyone's going to be like, oh my God, like everyone is on screen together. This is it.

If they were smart though, they would not put them on screen together, but they would have different theaters of war. Like there's the war on Earth. So like they're blowing up the reconstructed Death Star while. They're out there taking care of it. Do you see all these Star Wars things kind of happening here?

Like I think Whedon just kind of like, you know, undercut Abrams is like, I got your Star Wars right here, buddy. Like, don't even worry about it. But you know that Mickey's cashing all those checks. No doubt. And Leia's a new Disney princess and Groot is the new Chewbacca.

No, I'm stoked. I can't wait. Oh boy, keep buying tickets. Sustenance. Is that pizza?

All right. I think pizza's here, so we should probably take a break, and we'll, you know, load up on pizza, watch this movie, and then we'll be back to talk to you. Word. Good evening. It's intermission time, and during the next 10 minutes, we invite you to visit our refreshment stand located in the center.

Of the driveway. You like our pizza pies made from a famous Italian recipe. They're waiting for you right now at the concession stand. Enjoy tempting food at its best. Hey, Misty, do you have your earbuds strapped in?

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I'm C. Thomas Howell, and you're listening to Movie Meltdown. It's part of your. Problem, you know. You haven't seen enough movies.

All of life's riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with the show. Oh, I got a live one here. Yeah, the voiceover. The voice is classic.

I hated it so much for so long, and then I just accepted that that is the Batman of our time. Where's my microphone? That's yours. Oh, yeah. And you know he's going to be like, Superman, I choose you.

God, did you see the Batsuit? I saw that little, like. That little squiggle picture or whatever? Little clip of a blurry video that someone put. I thought it was neat that they did the white eyes.

Yeah. Like, did his eyes actually, like, glow white? Which. You know, at first I was like, it looks a little sci-fi-ish, but I mean, the original animated cartoon, his eyes are always bright white, so it is kind of new. It doesn't look sci-fi, but it does look like it's Stark Industries.

Yeah. But it was, you know, I'll give him this. My thing is that, you know, I'm definitely one of those haters on the Superman movie. I had a good time in the theater, do not get me wrong. You should have seen.

This motherfucker go to town when they released that they had to do the scenes from the end of the Superman movie again. And he let everybody know. Yeah, I posted on that show. He posted the minute. I, like, saw it, and I'm like, wait a minute, Dave Luke.

Oh! Because I'm one of those haters. I came out of Superman. Like, and this is the thing. They've planned the whole DC universe.

I don't actually like Superman. As far as DC, you know, Sandman and Batman. That's about all I really like. So, you know, going into it, it's not like my dreams were crushed or anything. But I was just like, wait.

I've always understood Superman to be the guy that doesn't let anyone get hurt. It's like, this fight's not going to happen here. We're going to take it over there somehow so that people don't get hurt. He gave zero fucks in that movie. I mean, not only that, he's like turning over the semi guy's truck because he insulted him at the little shithole diner he's eating.

It's like he was such a... dick when you really think about it. You don't act like you care. You act like you have an ego, but you don't act like you care about the people around you. The Hulk movies just suck. You can't make a good Hulk movie.

You make a background character out of the Hulk and he's perfect. Like in the Avengers background. Superman's a background character. But all of the DC superheroes are actually a background character. For Batman.

Except for Batman. There's the rogues gallery and there's the heroes gallery. And it's actually all, instead of DC, it should just be like, what, BW for Bruce Wayne. Oh my God. BW Comics.

Well, that's the thing. I mean, with Superman, Superman more than a character is an ideal. You know, it's. Like he has to stand for these things. And one of which is you don't just take people out.

Like, I don't know. I think that's what they missed is like all of the basic... And I'm blaming Zack Snyder. I don't know if he's really responsible. But I'm just like, why.

He. Just did the lens play. You would like. You've got. The whole thing.

His whole ideals are built on that Ma and Pa Kent thing. And Pa Kent's telling you, don't risk yourself. Don't get busted. Don't save anybody. Don't get found out.

That was so confusing to me. I'm like, why is it that the Smallville Pa Kent understands? He was such a better Pa Kent and he created the Superman that we know. And the Kevin Costner version is just like, whatever you do, don't help anybody. And I'm like, that's No, that's not.

I felt like they grabbed that weird side story father from a random X-Men story angle. The parent that's just like, oh my God, my son's a mutant? Okay, you can't let anybody know. And somebody became Dad Kent. All of a sudden, that character was Superman's dad.

Like, oh my God, don't let anybody know. It's like, dude, he's Superman. Yeah, there's a reason. This is different. He is Superman, and most of what he becomes is because he's raised with these American Midwestern values and he's all about helping people.

And it's like, they didn't do any of that. Like they missed all of that shit. I just want a movie where he does the thing that the, like the train tracks are out. It's already out there. You can go find yourself a copy of that.

And it has a good Superman. I actually like that one. I know. The first two are awesome. They're great.

What about the fourth one? Why? What about the fourth one? Quest for Peace, man. To tie back why, like, you know, I, I made a big deal about them rewriting the ending is because...

It was. A huge deal. It shut down the internet. I felt like. It was like North Korea hacked Facebook for a day.

Look, Zack Snyder went in, he made this movie, and it was a very, I don't want to say selfish Superman, but it was not the shepherd of humanity, the shepherd of earth kind of thing that you usually get from the comics. It's more of him like, you know. Go for it. What if they secretly... already wrote the entire DC story arc for like 15 movies. And it's not until like the third movie that he becomes the shepherd of America.

Well, and that's what I think is going to happen now. His colors are red, white, and blue. Well, that's what we, we had somebody on the show bring that up before. They were like, well, he's an alien at this point. I'm like, but he's not supposed to be now.

He's been here for like 25, 30 years. He skipped his childhood stuff, but it happened. You showed us, you know, bits and pieces of him in flashback. We understand it. He's been here for 20 years or so.

He's not, he's supposed to be in here by now. The reason he's, you know, truth, justice in the American way is because he was created as a superhero here. His values and ideals all came from this, like protect everybody, save America kind of thing. And it's like all that's out. It's like he just landed here the day before the movie started and he could care less about these insignificant little ants that live on this planet.

That's, That's where I think it totally doesn't even make sense or understand what Superman is supposed to be. But how sick was that x-ray vision shit? That was cool. My thing ultimately, though, and again, the only reason I even mentioned they changed it is because I felt like, so they put, they had this version of Superman in mind and they released it and they went with it. And the backlash was so, I don't want to say the backlash was hard because I don't know if, you know, If you're the one complaining, it seems like everybody's complaining.

So maybe it's just me and my surrounding peers that were grumpy. But I found tons of actual comic writers and stuff that were really upset with it. So I felt like what they did is they're trying to swerve everybody and go, oh, this was all by design. This was all by design. And that's what's going to happen.

You're going to learn he's going to feel real bad about this. Yet you had to rewrite the N to accommodate this. It's all by design. This is me doing air quotas. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You don't get to respond to everyone's backlash and act like you were the smart kids that planned this out this way. No, no. I'm calling you out right now. You're not bringing up one thing that I really want to hear about. Which is?

This movie. Has it already come out? Superman? Well, I mean, like, before it. Wasn't there, like, a Superman movie exactly like it, almost scene per scene?

What are we talking about? I don't know. Name one thing about the Superman movie. Like, one aspect. of it like an action scene or a bad guy or. Are we talking about dragon ball z you know what you're saying that essentially this was dragon ball z with a superman character no give me just anything because the fights were very very dragon there was lots of swinging around throwing to the ground kicking around in.

The air movie with dragon ball z like fight scenes Maybe with a world engine that's terraforming a planet and trying to enslave the human race. An entire movie tinted with a green spectrum of lighting. A movie where there's one hero who is the one. Oh, my God. Scene per scene, they're exactly the same.

Are you serious? I'm serious. Think of when he's walking in the end of Superman through Destructed Metropolis and when Morpheus puts. Neo in the real world. And then think of all those scenes where Neo just flies up into the clouds and he has that low camera.

Angle up with him turning, just like Superman. Think of when Superman's flying away from the world engine thing and the squids are chasing him. I'm just saying, this movie's already come out. The Matrix just influenced way too many people. Blade Runner.

Damn you, Blade Runner. So, speaking of, this is a good tie-in, how about that Ghost in the Shell movie that's going to happen with Little Miss Scarlett Johansson. I just got done watching Ghost in the Shell Arise yesterday. And I am probably the biggest Ghost in the Shell fan you've ever met. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Let me tell you one thing. If they would have not called it Ghost in the Shell and just called it the Black Widow movie, I would have been fine with it. I don't know. I'm hoping that she just doesn't have lines because I can deal with everything else. Her little fight scene in Iron Man 2 in the hallway was promising.

That was fantastic. That was fantastic. Like she can be choreographed or stunt doubled and she looks great in tight outfit. You know, when you got Joss Whedon behind her, I mean, he's been training Buffy for like almost a decade. So he had the choreography.

I'm just saying, as long as she doesn't have to talk. I've gotten totally on board with Miss Scarlet these days. Good. I didn't. Did you see it?

I remember for years we used to just like, you know, she's cute, whatever. But these last several years, I'm like, she's turning. In Under the Skin. Under the Skin is amazing. Like, she needs to be getting Oscar nominations for that.

And she probably won't because it's such a weird, tiny movie. And she's Scarlett Johansson. She's that, too. But I'm like, she, again, I think she's going way beyond people's expectations at this point. I think even in, like, Avengers.

I think she was undervalued in the beginning. Really good in the Avengers. She was never given the roles that she needed. I think going into it, they thought that Scarlett Johansson, well. Black Widow and Hawkeye were just going to be these background characters.

And I think there's a huge, including me, I think there's a huge amount of people that want them to have their own movies. Like, no, don't just, I want to watch them together. I don't know if individually they could carry it. It's no accident. But do some backstory on them too.

Like driving force in Captain America 2. Yeah. Right. She's a major character. Have you read the.

Updated comics, whatever they're called? Ultimates? The Ultimates? No. So, Do you know her story about being the rogue agent the whole time?

Like she's still working for the Russians? I remember there was some point in Marvel. Wasn't there like a Secret Wars? Civil Wars. I thought it was a Secret Wars where she's actually working for someone still and has been duping Stark the whole time.

I'm really interested to see what they do with the Civil Wars storyline. Like if it's going to be the same for the comic books because that was already done in X-Men. So now I don't know. God, do you want to talk about the whole mess that is Spider-Man being involved in now? No, they shouldn't do it.

It's confirmed. I know it's confirmed. Like it's confirmed they got enough rights to use him for Civil Wars and apparently he might cameo in future Avengers stuff. You know what he's allowed to do, according to me, is like when Nick Fury's giving them the lowdown on here's the guy we need to go kill and this is how we're going to do it. He can sit in the background and make fun, like hanging upside down on the web and he's like poking fun at them.

You're not a Spider-Man fan? Are you not an Andrew Garfield fan? I'm a Spider-Man fan, and I'm an Andrew Garfield fan. You just can't put him... Hang on.

I'm not a fan of Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man. Let's put it that way. Well, I'm the one in three then. I liked him as Spider-Man. It's too much.

You can't put him in the Marvel movies. You cannot. It is. No, it's just. It's so important for Civil War's art, though.

He was such, he was like that guy that could tip the scale. And I did read those comics. I was all about that. And when Stark made him the Iron Spider outfit, here's the thing. If you only read strictly the Civil War's comics, like just the ones that were called Civil War's, because when I was the whole, what, like six months I was going on, everyone's solo comics were still tied into that storyline.

Yeah. One of the greatest fights I've ever seen in my life is just in Spider-Man's solo album, album, solo comic. Oh man, I love that album. Spider-Man's about to drop the hottest. Album of 2015.

He has a fight, you know, when he first tries to leave Stark, there's a fully fleshed out fight between Spider-Man and Stark. And there's this really fantastically artsy end to it where it's like the panels, the illustrated panels are like essentially showing that he's slowly closing his eyes and having this inner thought And he's kind of like, you know, I've always wondered like, you know, how much web do I have? Like how much, you know, could I really do if I really just went all in, you know, and shot everything I had in me? Sounds kind of pornographic. But like Stark is coming at him like down the alley or whatever.

And like, you know, eventually that last panel, you know, like is like all black where he's shut his eyes and he's just webbing as much as he can. And you turn the page, that last image is like the entire alley is a block of white. It is all fucking web. But right in the middle, you can see this glowing orange where it's like stark in the middle of all this web like stuck in it. It was like goosebumps.

It was so awesome. And it was like, if they put that scene in the movie, oh my God, it will be so awesome to like have Spider-Man just soloing Iron Man like it's nothing. You're getting your hopes very, very high. So I guess I am hopeful about the Ghost in the Shell movie with Scarlett Johansson. Well, here's what I'm hopeful about.

I hope that it does well enough to get us the Akira movie. Sigh. You know, here's the thing. I say here's the thing a lot. I apologize.

Ghost in the Shell. Yeah, there is those episodic versions, but Ghost in the Shell the movie stands alone just fine. Mm-hmm. I feel like Akira, that movie is good. You need three stories.

But, oh my gosh, that comic is huge. Yeah, it's massive. And I would really, if you're going to try to do that, please, at least. At least a trilogy, but if not, go for TV. Please go for TV with it.

Netflix, pick it up. Oh, yeah, straight to Netflix. I'm totally behind that. I'm totally behind that. And please, internet gods, if you're listening, don't let the Wachowskis have it.

Please don't let the Wachowskis have it. How weird is that? There was a time when you would have loved the Wachowskis to have something. I would have loved the Wachowskis to have it, but then they did Cloud Atlas, and then they did Jupiter Ascending. I know it's not even out yet, but...

I bet in two years I'll re-listen to this and I'll be like, I was right. You hear that new DC movie, Suicide Squad. Oh, yeah, I've heard about that. Where Jared Leto's playing Joker. Did you hear that Will Smith is playing Deadshot?

Really? Will Smith is Deadshot. I only read anything that has Harley Quinn's name in it. Well, she's in it too, but I forget the name of the girl playing her. I hadn't seen the movies that she was in.

What's the Leonardo DiCaprio makes lots of money? Sick. Wolf of Wall Street, it's her. Okay. She's very attractive.

I haven't seen her in anything. Yeah, I haven't seen a picture of her. She's very attractive. But seriously, I'm just, I'm not pessimistic. I just, it's a little, it makes my head spin a little to imagine Jared Leto's Joker conversing with Will Smith as Deadshot.

Like to see that on a screen, I kind of don't see it. They're making a Batman movie without Batman. Right? Here's the thing, though. Like we were kind of talking earlier, you know, about all those DC animated movies.

The DC animated movies are so good. They are so well-read. They are. Like, they are super good, and I've never understood... Exactly.

I've never understood why you can't take these scripts and do movies because they're so... That Flashpoint Paradox movie would destroy Avengers. And I love Marvel, but that story arc is golden. What Batman is in that is so... above and beyond. It's awesome.

But the Suicide Squad one was like the most recent one. It was just like a year or so ago. And I was like, I thought it was super good. It did not do that well. But for me, what I thought was so incredible about it was how interesting it was that Batman wasn't in it in the sense that since you're following the villains, it was neat that like, you know, in essence, they're like, okay, you know, we're here at point A and we got to get to point B across town and You know, and someone would just be like, all right, well, let's take main, turn left on second, let's go.

And the other guys would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Batman will totally see us if we just walk down Main Street. What are you talking about? And they're all like, oh, okay, sewers. It was just so neat seeing them so paranoid of him.

To where like when he did show up, it was like Godzilla showing up. It was all like, oh shit, run. Like everyone's just like, get the fuck out of town. But not Gareth Edwards Godzilla, right? It was so, I thought it was incredibly interesting how like you told this Batman story where he felt not like the bad guy, but like the Terminator.

He was kind of like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He showed up and everyone just broke. It was like, get the hell out. We'll meet up later. Just get out of here.

Batman's here. I think the only problem with all this bullshit in me is like, I'm what? I'm 29. And for the first 24 years of my life, there was only. One joker and now there's a new fucking joker every two weeks and you know they should have really just like even skipped heath ledger and just let mark hamill be the joker He is pretty awesome.

He's pretty awesome. But he couldn't have done it on screen. I love his voice, but he couldn't have done it on screen. He'd have been drinking. He's going to be back on screen.

That would be great. With the beard, it's great. He looks really cool with the beard. I completely support him. He's very Obi-Wan.

Exactly. Which is what you want at this point. That's kind of awesome. Is he living on Dagobah? Is he not living on Dagobah?

See, that's what I'm wondering as we loop back around to Star Wars. He's not Dagobah's student. If all that, because they show all those scenes with sand, and I'm like. Do not take place on Dagobah. Well, no, I'm just kind of like, in this, the most remote planet, if there's a bright center of the universe, it's the planet that's farthest from.

Nobody freaking goes there, but yet, the center of the damn universe, how many movies have ended up back on this planet? I'm like, oh my God, two out of the original trilogy ended up back on this damn planet. We went back there again. It's like the Bronx of the universe, but apparently everything happens in the Bronx. Everything happens in this shithole planet.

I know. It's a desert planet. Did you see on YouTube the fan-made George Lucas cut of the trailer? That was awesome. It is amazing.

That was awesome. It basically takes every scene and computer generates something more in the background. So when the guy lifts his head up on Tatooine, there's like, Tandans and Dungars in the background. And then like 18 more TIE Fighters. Yeah, that's my favorite is the TIE Fighter that's already surrounded by them and there's.

Just like 4,000 TIE Fighters. And then like the lightsaber, it's like. It's like a fan of blades comes out of it. It's amazing. I recently watched the riff tracks of the Star Wars trilogy.

Original? No, they. Well, that's what I was going to mention is they did. Or one, two, and three. Well.

Four, five, and six. For me, it's originals. That's what I meant by originals. The riff tracks of those, but the ones they did were the updated ones with all the CGI stuff. There's a lot more to make sure of.

I was like, oh my gosh, why is that thing in the background? What is that there for? Come on, how did this add to anything? It added to my childhood, thank you, because I was 12. That was sweet to see that one scene of the Millennium Falcon flying through Class A.

Oh, dude, the end of the trailer? Yeah. I was going to say, that was the one thing for me, the most exceptional thing in the Episode 7 trailer was that Millennium Falcon at the end. Because you didn't get that in the prequels. The Falcon was not in the prequels.

So seeing that again, I got a little stiff. I got a little bit of wood there. Wasn't it weird that they. Didn't homage the Falcon in 1, 2, 3? They should have had it when it was owned by whoever.

Didn't someone mention it in Episode 3? I thought in a Clone Wars-ish one, someone mentioned it. I don't think so. It wouldn't surprise me if they did, but I don't remember that happening. They should have, like, Lando should have pulled up for a burger end or something, because it would have been his at the time or whatever.

Right. Young him. And he's going to be like, he's like young, he's got like the fuzzy dice, and he's like, I'm going to go to. The Kessel Run or whatever. Or no, what would be like a, what's a space creature?

Instead of a cult, like, you know. Blaster 45. Yeah, it's got something. It's not as bulky as a cult 45. No, I think it'd be funny if he was still hanging out with a young nine gnome.

Right? It's like, dude, we're going to get some of my chicks tonight. All right. It's a Nerf 45. It's Nerf herders, right?

Yeah, Nerf herders. Or maybe it was like his father. It's like saying Nerf. Like, it is just the word Nerf, isn't it? Oh, Lucas, you're so original.

It's his father, so it's an 8-0. Hey, Nerf didn't exist back then. Maybe he invented Nerf. God, Elvis. But, so, this is another idea about Star Wars.

It's gotten real, like, little group of people versus the government and galactic empire. But it started off with, like, all his ideas coming from the really old samurai films about, like, wearing your own samurai against the imperial government. A piece of information that absolutely blew my mind was that Lucas wanted Toshiro Mifune to play Darth Vader. How, I mean, James Earl Jones is awesome, but me being a samurai dork. Holy F.

If Toshiro Mifune would have played Darth Vader. Could you imagine how awesome it would have been? Oh my gosh. If Luke Skywalker, like of those movies, they really didn't have sword choreography. So it was very much like old medieval English sword fighting.

Stupid sword fighting. It's more fencing. Yeah, fencing. How cool would it have been if Darth Vader was like katana style samurai work where it was just one stroke. There was a game for PlayStation 1 called Jedi Battles.

It was a side-scrolling kind of platform thing, but you got to pick somehow at the time. I don't think the prequels were out, so I guess this was all just fan fiction-ish. Official universe. You could pick four or five different people to be, and they all had different color sabers and stuff. But one of them did the short sword down style, where the blade was going down, and did a lot of side things.

I thought that was so amazing. And I was like, why don't you flesh this kind of stuff out? Why does everyone... You know, dude, just that standard sword fencing style, it's like, well, I mean, obviously they kind of went with it with, you know, Darth Maul, and obviously, you know, these new movies, everyone's going to have, I mean, because this thing's like a lightsaber claymore. That thing is big and wide.

But they need a return to the, like, this old samurai movie way of, like, you're one hero, you're seven heroes, whatever, but it's like, it's getting too political. I wouldn't be offended if he just straight up homaged kurosawa movies period it's like all right we're gonna grab you know we need a side story mission for this jedi yojimbo we're gonna write a sci-fi yojimbo here you go you know we want something where like you know they underestimate the struggle on this planet over here and we set a couple jedi out cool seven samurai happening over here on this planet i have no problem with that like these stories like you know maybe to people my age it would be regurgitated but These are good classic stories.

The core stories have been regurgitated so many times and other, like I heard you're about to do another Magnificent Seven movie. I mean, you know, this same story has been told over and over and over because it's that good. You know, it's like, I feel like that's where you can do rebooting right. If it's a good story, reboot that good story. Don't reboot something because it was successful 20 years ago.

That doesn't mean anything now. Since all the Jedi are in hiding, lone wolf and cub. Oh my gosh. Fuck yeah. Like Han and Leia's kid.

Han and Leia's kid. And Luke's kind of training them. They're kind of trying to find a new place to set up the rebellion. And like Emperor Palpatine's clone or whatever the bad guy is in this one. I wonder what they'll do to Horace and both of them.

They said they're not acknowledging Timothy's on, but there has to be a new bad guy. I mean, there has to be a new bad guy. He has basically given it away. He is, I mean, I don't know, and it's not really given away, but I think it's Emperor Palpatine reincarnated. He's doing all this fucking CG work with his cloak on.

Oh, you know, it's interesting. I did read, I don't think this was like a legitimate person saying it. I think there was someone like reporting on Star Wars, so this isn't like fact, but he was making the argument that you don't see Palpatine die. You know, it's like you see him get thrown down that ravine And in the same context, he's like, we saw that happen to Luke, and Luke lived. Luke lived through that.

With one hand. Right. And he's like, there's nothing that says that Palpatine is dead. Like, there was a big explosion of energy, but maybe he blew up a reactor on the way down? Like, I don't know.

You know, like, whatever he was doing to live, maybe it. That seems like such a cop-out. Like, we can't even come up with a new villain. Where he gets reincarnated and all that bullshit. I read the three Timothy Zahn books that were supposed to be quoted, 7, 8, 9.

And in those, like, Palpatine was dead, but his essence was still in space. Like, when Leia and whoever else was with her, they're on their way to Kashyyyk, and they fly by that area. And apparently, because she's sensitive to the Force, like, she feels, like, this rage and this anger and this darkness to where she's kind of like, oh, shit, that's not good. Like, that felt... Forces it into a body a little bit.

Yeah, like, to where she was kind of, like, afraid about it. So, yeah, I mean, they could go that angle. But, like I said, you know, they... real quick to shoot down. When they announced, not when they bought Star Wars, but when they announced another trilogy, like the second thing out of their mouth was like, it's not Timothy's on stuff. Well, because they knew.

Like immediately. They're like, finally. There's so many good characters in those books. Mara Jade is awesome. Mara Jade is what it's all about.

That is Luke's wife. Serious, you want a good angle for Luke's wife, it's Mara Jade. Like that whole angle was great. But I feel like the Luke we have now isn't going to have a wife. He looks like he became Ben.

So it's like Ben's just an old crazy hermit living by himself who at least has this connection to his sister so he's not totally old crazy Ben. But doesn't that mean that the only girl he's kissed is his sister? Oh, that's fine. That's bad. That's all right.

Slight tree branch. You know, they released all those photos recently of like the behind the scenes of Star Wars. I don't know if those were out way before or not, but I've seen a lot of them lately where it's like, oh, here's like 60 photos of, oh my God, Carrie Fisher was hot. She's so hot. Like it's like, there was like 60 some photos and 50 of them were her.

Like everyone's just following her around taking pictures. I was like, gosh, Leia was hot. I mean, I remember thinking she was cute, but this was like another level. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. She was 80s fine for real.

I'm following her around with a camera, too. Get off my plane. I thought Hayden Christensen was really good. Stand-alone Qui-Gon movie. Stand-alone Qui-Gon movie.

Bring him back. Well, I mean, it's already confirmed. I'll find you, and I'll kill you with my lightsaber. It's already confirmed that Boba Fett's going to stand alone. Yeah.

It's pretty much confirmed that there's some kind of a Han, Londo... Young one, right? kind of thing. Something about their history. See, I don't have... But you've got to recast them.

That's where it gets weird. See, what's rough is when Han was originally shot, he was young. So how. Is he going to be 12? Because how old was Harrison?

30-something. Young enough. He was still older than... Well, I mean, you know, when I say young, I mean before. Yeah.

You know, like, how did... You know, obviously, they used to kick it. They were boys, so it's going to be about them kicking it and tricking the Falcon. I used to have such a problem with that. Drinking grape soda.

I used to have such a problem with that, like, recasting. Oh, you can't recast. And I'm like, you know what? I'm kind of at the point now, I'm like, fuck it. I'd rather have a good performance from somebody else than worry about, it's.

Not the same guy. I'm like, hmm. And that's been that same thing with Indiana Jones. I'm like... I'd rather see more versions of Indiana Jones.

Get somebody good, write a good script, shoot some more movies. I don't care that it's not here to support anymore. He's too old to do it. I liked the Young Indiana Jones series when it was the teenage version. The little kid was boring, but the other ones were good stories.

And I'm like, do more of those. In fact, let the people who wrote the Young Indiana Jones write the DC movies. Really? like let them come back and do something i don't know i think there's better story the same thing star wars any any of this i'm like there's good stories in that universe whichever one we're talking about like as long as you tell a good story cast some good actors get a decent director it's like i don't i don't care i'm losing all of those like hard bound like oh god you can't remake that oh god you can't cast another actor like i don't know i think i'm losing that that framework that used to be so like geek oriented that i had i'm to the point now i'm like i'd rather see good movies yeah right i don't know they need to do some.

More of the more of the religious psycho-spiritualistic heavy shit the occult stuff yeah it exists in the. Because it pissed people off when we went into the outer world right so go back to religion So what we've learned is we don't really need to watch a movie on these because we're just going to spiral off and talk about others. We just actually, what we need to do is in a few weeks, let's do one of these and just watch trailers on YouTube. Now that I'm totally down with that. We can definitely do that.

New Olivia Wilde movie where she's got demon eyes looking real good. Olivia Wilde. Looking real good. I can get Wilde. She is, but what about the movie?

Seriously? So yeah, there's our plan. We'll be back with trailer talk. We can call that trailer trash. Will the Trio of Terror ever actually get around to talking about the movie they sat down to discuss?

And if so, can they focus on that movie for more than ten minutes. At a time? Tune in to our next exciting installment for the answer to these and many other questions you never really ask. Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next time.

Same geek feed. Thanks for listening. Through all the ragged truth, you left one pointed lie. A nice series of words for goodbye. Who's playing on your team?

He has a certain flair. I'm stuck on interface My heart does not forget Checking out at this point is no sweat Chilled back. To number nine. You made my heart go blind You act so cold. But you still look so fine.

Crying on my heels. Crying in tension and tears. Crying on my heels. Crying tangents. Crying tangents.

Crying tangents. Crying down your tears Crying down your tears Crying down your tears. So yeah, before we watch this after the intro, I'm definitely going to demo Transformers 3 for you. I'm sorry it's Transformers 3, but it does have beautiful video and wonderful audio. And stupid plot.

Is this on? Is this live? You say words. I just watched it. I'm going to make you watch it.

Yeah, seriously, man. I have not seen the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. And I have not seen... I don't know how many Transformers movies there even are now. I saw the first one in theaters.

Unfortunately. Gravitron. They're all offensive. No, the fourth one is exceptionally bad. You love Marky Mark, don't you?

I am pumped that Marky Mark's in the fifth one. But the fourth one has the worst CG I've ever seen in my life. So bad. It's as bad as The Matrix Reloaded. He's not even trying anymore, I'm pretty sure.

I'm trying to think what was bad about The Matrix Reloaded. The Agent Smith 9 million fight scene. You didn't like that? I liked the fight scene. I did not like the CG.

When you can see it, like, bloop! And Keanu Reeves is a stick figure. And his jacket does not reflect light. Yeah, he did kind of look like Stretch Armstrong there for a while. Just looked very, like, He doesn't love Stretch Armstrong.

Keanu Reeves as Stretch Armstrong. No, like, I have no interest in seeing the Turtles movies or the Transformers movies. He's supposed to. That's how this works. This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and edited by the Audity Studios, with opening music performed by the Empires.

For more on how to sponsor or support the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com. Talk hard!